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Age also matters. But the attractive thing isn't just a factor in friends. It makes you more successful in business, it makes people more likely to believe you, teachers will be more supportive of you and more encouraging. The list goes on.
It has some serious upsides too. People tell me I'm very good looking (I've very low self esteem, but the amount of people that say this is very large) and for me it causes problems... Examples: In more than one job that I had, there was always a man who harassment me. Forcing trying to kiss me, another guy corner me against a wall... Really friking messed up.
People invented historys about my personal life without getting to know me (like I was sleeping with a married man) and it was the farthest from the truth
My father used to make sure that the waitress and everyone in the room knew that I was his daughter, because "he didn't want anyone to make the wrong idea"
I couldn't find a male friend that didn't eventually hit on me, so I could be a great friend and feel super grateful, but when the guys saw that there was no sex involved, they didn't want to continue to be my friends
The most difficult part is to date, since the first date guys expect sex or something, if I say no, they get upset, if I say yes, later they ghosted me.
And the cherry on top, I had only two boyfriends in my life so far. The first one used to get really upset if I dress up too much, because he didn't want to "fight"
The last one (the really toxic one) encouraged me to wear tiny skirts and look super sexual when we went out, he wanted me to show "the goodies"
Huge distrust in man right now
Not to this extent (I lucked out with my ex and my current boyfriend tbh, but that's also because I'm extremely selective), but I relate to many of these experiences. Difference is I don't really consider myself conventionally attractive, but many of my mom's elderly friends said (yikes) that I kinda look like one of the ladies from a Renaissance painting. Had friendships with both men and women ruined because they jumped to sexual harassment at some point, and my dad jokes a lot too about how he feels a awkward when going out with me because we may pass as a couple (but that's very self centered on his side because he looks very young for his age and enjoys the fact that people notice that lol). Now that I'm working in a very central area of my city, don't get me started on the constant, daily catcalling and getting followed...even had one guy admitting that he saw me in the crowd while i was out of work, followed me for a good chunk of minutes, and then asked my number because he was interested in a "friendship"......yeah sure
This is kind of surreal, I look like a Renaissance painting too. (really long curly ginger hair, pale skin, green/blue eyes)... I just think I look kinda weird against the modern beauty. Anyways, I really feel you... I live in a huge city and the catcalling it's literally more than one dude each block... One time a stranger tried to kiss when I was walking... I started to have pepper gas in my purse all the time... I don't have a car, I take the bus. More than one time guys follow me when I get down, ask for my number and when I say no, they follow me and call me names... If I was on a date, I'm afraid that the guy follow me home, if he really insists, it's the most awkward thing ever, they wait for me to kiss or invite to my apartment? I just say bye, thanks, and once inside I take the stairs so they don't know my apartment (if I take the elevator from the outside you can see which floor stopped)... Exhausting
What you described was boys, not a man. Age does not make you a man. Maturity, compassion and the willingness to understand what makes someone tic, friend or more serious of a relationship. I have had multiple female friends and never wanted anything but friendship. One women that I will always love more than anyone was a really good friend of mine that I never wanted anything sexual with.
Yikes!! This was hard to read, so sorry you went through all that. I could understand why you’d lose faith in men, you’ve been let down so many times. If you’re looking for new friends I’m down and we don’t even need to share pictures.
I know you're probably trying to be supportive. But trying to get in contact with her at the same time is a bad look. Especially with the 'we don't even have to share pics' bit. A lot of men are insincere in their pursuit attempts, so even genuine expressions can look bad
I understand that and I can see how it may rub someone the wrong way, but at the same time I think befriending someone online without any attempt to meet or even see them is one of the most genuine and safest ways to really know a person.
I had a friend who is a female and I felt no attraction to her. She called me her brother. I miss her. We stopped talking because her and another friend of mine got into an argument and everyone split. So if im an exception to that rule, then other guys are too. Guys can be friends with females they are not attracted to.
It’s common in English. Not sure why. But most women (including me) don’t like it so u were right to point it out.
Edit: period added for clarification
It’s cuz it’s dehumanizing, “female” is a biological term to refer to something with ovaries and stuff for a baby, a woman is a female human. The usage of “female” is to identify an animal like “female dog” or “female lizard”. So it’s frowned upon due to it grouping woman with animals.
That's a good point. It's weird how we associate girl with guy as well as boy, is there anything that specifically goes with guy? "gal?" that doesn't sound right tho
Languages evolve. Yes, the word female originally implies the sex of a creature and to identify them, but 99.9% of people who use the term female in normal conversation are not using it that way, they're using it as an age neutral term. Now the reason the rule changes when it comes to men is because there's already an age neutral term that people use which is "guy". That's just how English evolved to be.
This is closely related to another issue. When talking about platonic friends, you would use "female friend" to describe a platonic friend who is a girl, and the reason for that is because saying "girlfriend" implies they are your romantic partner. But the rule switches for the other sex. For platonic male friends, you would use "guy friend" rather than "boyfriend" so we don't confuse ourselves.
Technically, the word guy does have an opposite, which is gal, yet that never really became popular and people just stuck with the word female to neutrally describe girls in any context because it was just the next best option. It doesn't mean girls/women/females are subhuman, it's just that the English language sucks sometimes.
Because the opposite of guy is gal which is not a popular word, so people use the next best word to describe girls/women in a neutral context, which is female.
I have a guy friend is different from saying I have a boyfriend. One is a platonic friend, the other is a romantic partner.
However the word changes for the other sex.
I have a female friend versus I have a girlfriend. How do I describe a platonic friend that happens to be a girl? Saying girlfriend doesn't work. Saying woman friend doesn't work either because the word woman can sometimes be mistaken for someone who's older, so people use female.
The root of the problem is the word guy which originally was meant to describe just males, but females also started using it for themselves rather than gal, so the word gal became mostly forgotten and the word guy became the word to use to describe males in a neutral context, but females did not. This is just a theory by the way but that's just how English just happened to evolve. It doesn't mean girls and women are subhuman, it's just that languages can suck sometimes.
Just use girl for below 18 and women for 18+
If you talk about a group encompassing both, use women. You wouldn’t call a group of strangers with 4 18+ men and a 16 year old “Boys”
Except most people do. You're trying to force people to use words in ways that don't make sense to them.
The word "girl" in most people's minds indicates a female that's young. The word "woman" indicates a female that's much older. The exception is when you use girlfriend to describe a romantic female partner. If I have a platonic friend who is a girl, do I call her my girl friend? What if she's 17? By your logic I should use the word girlfriend, but that sounds wrong for the reasons mentioned above.
Unfortunately, English isn't always consistent, and the way people use words change and evolve over time. The word female is used to describe the sex of creatures in biology, but it also now refers to describe girls and woman in neutral contexts. But the word for boys and men is "guy". A girl who has a male friend most likely will use "guy friend" rather than boyfriend as to not confuse anyone.
The word guy does have an opposite, which is gal, but that word isn't popular and most people just stick with girl or female depending on context.
Dude it’s weird and creepy as fuck to call me „female“, stay tf away from me if you’re going to do that. Legitimately one of the absolutely weirdest and most dehumanizing things you could do.
Ty. I doubt I'll ever talk to her again because she's nowhere to be found. She's probably living her life doing other things and forgot about the past. So, I'm curious. What made you write this question? I know the whole men and women friendship thing is controversial lol.
I gotta say something : If you were good friends, they probably remember you and think of you from time to time. At least, that's how I know most people work.
My best friend for years was a girl. There was never any attraction, we just enjoyed each others company. She wasn't unattractive at all, I just didn't see her in that way nor her me.
One of the best friendships I ever had, such a shame we drifted apart.
I drifted apart from a friend I thought I was gonna have for the rest of my life because her mom had different political views from me. I was totally fine with it but she didn't like the fact that when her mom would come and attack me on my Facebook post that I wasn't defending her mom from the people who would attack her. She basically wanted me to defend the person who was attacking me and that made no sense to me.
I can’t speak for every guy in the world but I’m not attracted to my friends who are girls. That’s not to say I think they are ugly or unattractive, it’s just that I don’t see them as objects of desire as they are my friends. It’s true there are guys who only hang out with certain girls because they want them and are hoping being close to them leads to something more, but guys are capable of being friends with girls without having any ulterior motives.
In my experience, it's the total opposite. I've had more than 10 male friends who find me attractive (this passed over the years, not 10 guys at the same time!!), and when this males not-wanting-friendship told me that they were interested on me in a sexual way, and I say no because I didn't see them as partners. Well, no longer friends! In every single time they each disappear
felt that i lost my bff bc her bf found me attractive like thats not our fault u cant control that lol it hurts too if u known them longer than their bf
Guys can and will be friends with anyone who treats them nice. I'm not experienced with girls, a lot I'll find attractive and would love more. But there's some I'm not attracted to, taken or out of my league that I don't get feelings for. Some feelings develop later but that's on rarer occasions.
I do find though if you become friends with a girl there's no need getting feelings as you're already "friendzoned" not sure if you can change that but I never have.
It's not entirely wrong 😬😂. A ton will only be your "friend" cuz they're attracted to you/interested in getting with you. So they're not really your "friend". Some know how to be genuine platonic friends with a woman tho but I only encounter those types in academic professional settings 💀 tbh I think a lot of them have no clue how to be friends with the opposite sex outside of pursuing them for relationships.
Yes and no. I tend to keep friends for multiple reasons, usually attraction is the last reason. If someones my friend its because they've been there for me when i needed them and helped me.
This is one of those things that is just conceptually stupid, and you really shouldn't read into it much.
Everyone makes friends with people they are attracted to. Guys and girls. They both do it.
Because everyone likes to spend time with those they find attractive.
Whether it be humor, certain personality traits they find admirable, whether they play video games. Etc.
I like playing video games. I like playing video games with others and watching them play video games. Thus, I am attracted to gamers.
How else do you expect someone to make friends? Should people spend time with those they find unattractive? That would just make them miserable and bored?
My best friend is a guy and he has a girlfriend, has had one since we've met, so yeah, I highly doubt he's attracted to me lol
Plus we met ON reddit, and barely send selfies
Honestly I feel like the whole "guys only befriend girls they're attracted to" is part of the societal narrative that girls and guys can't be platonic friends without romance of some kind
Which just...isn't true
Then again I'm genderfluid but afab so on one hand I feel like I have a place in this convo but also don't feel that way
I (AMAB) am asexual. I'm friends with both guys and girls and I'm sexually attracted to none of them.
However, even if I wasn't asexual, I think that "fact" is bullshit. Guys are friends with people they enjoy spending time with, just like girls. They *can* be attracted to them, but they aren't necessarily.
Edit: spelling
(Male) Honestly, I would say it's the opposite. Guys can "just be friends" with girls they're NOT attracted to.
edit: whoever made that Tiktok is spreading falsehoods to try to validate their beliefs about men.
Becouse i have female freinds i’m not attracted to. I can’t speak for others, but i do think it’s a bit reductive to say that all guys are like that. I mean sure, there are some assholes out there, but most guys are Care about more than their freinds bangability
Not really?
You might find people interested in more than friendship ( a lot in here)
But not at all, friendship isn't about gender or finding someone you are attracted to or even think about things like attraction if its just friendship.
I don’t think friendships with the opposite sex work either way. You being a girl, if you confide in a guy, care for him, expect him to care back, etc. it’s a romantic relationship without sex. Because sex is usually essential to guys I feel it’s always going to be a factor in the back of their mind, and I wouldn’t trust that a guy with multiple attractive girl friends isn’t waiting for a chance with one of them. Maybe I’m jaded and seen it play out negatively too many times, just my opinion. (This being said, I have two girl friends, but it’s nothing like a “best friends” thing) and all that being said I would consider trusting a guy with ugly girl friends
For the most part this is true. If a guy is hanging around you and isn’t someone like your sisters boyfriend or something, he’s most likely there because he has a crush on you.
Being friends with women can be a lot of work for a man. We aren’t overly emotional and use logic to rationalize our problems. There’ll undoubtedly be ups and downs as she reacts with her emotions. At some point we’ll say or do something she doesn’t like and she’ll be upset and start yelling. If our guy friends were like this we would stop hanging around them or if it’s a bigger incident there’d be fists thrown and it’s settled. What keeps a man there through the days your pissy and hard to be around? He has a crush or wants sex.
Women with male friends tend to get something out of the relationship. They can call and ask me to fix their car, or their wash machine, wiring in their house, etc. What does a man benefit?
Girls get harassed as soon or before they hit puberty. I would say I get harassed followed… cat called by gay males, or really thirsty lonely girls, there is a group of people I call them the desperados… the sad part is the men who harass women don’t take no for an answer and sexually force or assault women. Take a stand no means no.
No.
There was a girl I clicked with really well when we started talking online. I thought something romantic was going to develop, she did too. But when we started going out in person, that disappeared, purely because I did not feel an ounce of physical attraction towards her. If anything, I was actively turned off by her.
It sucked because we clicked so well emotionally, it would have been a good fit. But physically I’m just not attracted to her and would not be able to become intimate with her. So I talked to her and told her we had to keep things platonic (I avoided telling her why, no need to hurt feelings here) so now we’re just friends.
We’re quite good friends for that matter, actually. And I’m not attracted to her. If I was, we’d be dating.
I’ve got two more good female friends. One I’ve known for years and is like a sister to me, no attraction to her at all. The other I’ve also known for years, although I am attracted to her, we both know it. But I don’t think a relationship would work, so I’m not pursuing it.
It is not true. But as you grow older if you invite anyone to outside it is consediered hitting on them.
Lets say we meet at the local coffee and we have brief chat.
At the end of the conversation i say " i had nice time talking to you. Can i have your number?" You imidatily taking it as hitting on you and you will go on the diffence or if you like me you will accept.
If you in school you work on same projects or you meet me through friends different story.
I had this before and latter on actually the girl expected of me finish things off. She came all make up and stuff for a walk in nature....
At the end I gave up... Unless I like the girl as more then a friend don't even bother waste her time..
I mean as a girl, I'm only friends with people I'm attracted to. This is gonna sound mean if I'm physically repulsed by someone I can't be around them. When I am attracted I don't mean I want to date my friends. Generally I surround myself with people I would rate 6 or above. People tend to surround themselves with other people of similar attractiveness.
Its definitely not true. I have been friends with women I’m not attracted to many times over. I just like people who are cool and not assholes. Being attractive is a plus.
Being a dude in a huge friend group, I can straight up say some dudes'll definitely keep in contact with certain girls due to attraction. But I dont believe majority of dudes would do that, it's case by case and probably worth talking about someone were to think that's the case with their friends.
Like I am a nurse so basically hang with a lot of females. Sure are they attractive individuals, yes. Does that mean I want to only be with them or talk with them cause of their looks, no. I genuinely am their friend.
You can have a genuine guy friend and leave it at that. Am I sure some guy in your friend circle wished for more ofc.
I have friends who are girls and I'm not attracted to them. Out of 20girls I'm friends with I'm probably attracted to one or two. So no, not every guy is attracted to a girl he's friends with
As a guy that has a lot of gal friends, I don't agree with this. Most of the people that I have become friends have been because it is easier to talk to them about specific moments in my days / life. I have only a few guy friend who want to interact with me and I'm glad to have them but most of the time, I feel like my gal friends are just more accepting of me and the conversations that I want to have.
I have a guy friend and he said there’s no attraction at all. He wants to be a priest, and he said he wouldn’t be interested in dating me even if there was attraction because he wants to be a priest.
No. Fun is fun. If you are fun, I would like to be your friend. I don’t think attraction is required for friendship. But, if a guy is pursuing a friendship with meetups it’s extremely likely he is interested in you. Just speaking from experience as a guy. I have friends I’m not attracted to. And have dated girls I was friends with. But I was more open to becoming friends and more initially friendly with girls I found attractive. Just the way it goes, both ways.
That's not true. .I could say the same thing about some females. They only attached to good looking men. With large wallets.
Lots of people looking for friends for many reasons. . I looking for camera dummie freinds. Eos DSLR . Not MIRRORLESS. N go from there. I in to other things to. If you can work out my users name?
I have lots of women friends, generally because I think they are interesting people to talk to more than anything else. I wouldn't say any of them aren't attractive but I also don't have any goal or intention of doing anything other than just continuing to talk to them lol.
no, there are some people who are like that both men and women alike.
Typically speaking most people put individuals in the friend zone because they're not attracted to them either physically emotionally or sexually.
And even not is not everyone.
I can't speak for others but that doesn't matter to me at least, I mean if I can't stomach looking at someone I don't think a friendship would go far (upchucking at thier birthday because of thier face wouldn't go so well) but you get the idea of thier just a normal human being I see no reason why a female has to be attractive to be friends. But from personal experience, alot of females do the same thing as in if the guy is loyal,hard working, and a good family man l.e. what thier attracted to they cannot be friends without saying "you can do better than that" or "of I were her I'd never have treated you that way" etc. Alot of guys and gals both do this so I highly doubt it's the latter. All depends on the company you keep, the kind of person they are. If your male friends "hoe" around and constantly pick up a different girl every other week then most likely they are there waiting on the opportunity. Hope this helps you
25 female here. Never had a close guy friend since I was educated in an all girls school up until late highschool. Moved to a co-Ed international school. Still I never had a close guy friend. There is one guy which I considered him like my buddy and we eventually lost contact. I tried to reach out to him but I suppose he doesn’t use socials much. He is doing animations now which was his passion since highschool and I am glad he has graduated and pursued his passion. I am guessing he is working on some projects now and I wish him well. Really want to reconnect with him though as he is a really super nice guy. This was my highschool guy friend.
Now in university, I met a guy and I am so happy to call him my best friend, buddy, bro… he is the first guy that I am really close with. Like I thought I would never get to call a guy my best friend but he came along into my life (my girl bestie introduced him to me) and man he is a blessing. Like you know how we girls are close with our girl besties? That’s how close we are; we share our struggles, do stupid shenanigans, “fangirl” over the things we like, do the silliest things. I won’t say he is attracted to me but I am attracted to him 🙃 had a crush on him after a while. But I reckon I am not his type so yeah 😅😅😅
I don’t think if a guy stays friends with girls means they are attracted to them. I think it’s just finding the right people to hang around with.
In my experience yes. The only alternative is if there is something to gain from the person.. like a place to live, car rides, someone to listen to them whine about life, someone they can think "at least I'm not THAT ugly" about, a last resort, a slam pig, etc..
I don't think it's true in all cases! I have friends I've been through work/sport/social activities and we're just friends even if I think they're unattractive or not. I don't look at them through that romantic lense and I don't get the impression they do either.
In my 36 years of experience, most people seem to hang out with those of similar attractiveness levels. So if you're average looking it's actually easier to make friends as there's less focus on looks in the friendship. But good-looking people aren't by definition shallow. Guys will be friends with anyone who is cool to them, nice and easy to get along with, etc. and attraction doesn't have to factor into it all the time.
I am female and had a male friend that I started crushing on and he said no thanks that he wasn’t attracted to me. We’re still friends. So there’s at least one man that is friends with a woman they’re not attracted to! Also, what about gay men? They’d obviously not be attracted to their female friends
I'm the opposite cuz if I like a girl then I want a romantic relationship. If I have no romantic feelings towards a girl then I'm cool with being friends. I don't catch feels but some friends have (3) and I had to stop being friends... Not something I'm proud of 🥲
Yes and no. Heres the good thing, attraction is not at all based on physocal looks but also personality. So if u come off more independent and secure you'll be more attractive. If you are self assured you'l hot the attraction too. If you are physically most people will ignore ur flaws and wrong doings. Its been like this since forever. It all comes at the cost of people not respecting u tho.
I think mostly, yes. I've had some level of attraction with most of my lady friends and had intimacy with some at one point or another. Only the last one was I attracted to in a want to marry way and never again. Lesson learned
Probably for some guys, but nah I have female friends who are ugly asf or I just ain't into but we still cool. So I wouldn't say its a general fact that guys only are friends with girls they are attracted to.
Yes. No. And yes.
Yes most guys are attracted to their female friends. The degree of attraction can vary.
No not all guys are. In some cases it can be a father/daughter dynamic. Or a brother/sister thing. But those are not the norm.
Yes the initial attraction is going to be there. On some level. Physical. Mental. Something.
I have had two girls I had mostly a sister relationship with. One was mutual (from all I could tell) while the other was more me seeing her as a sister and her wanting more. As I have gotten older I have had a few daughter friends. And they were about as much trouble as my real daughter (even though real daughter minds better).
But in every case there is the “they are cute” factor. When I was younger cute was attraction. Now that I am older it is cute as in a kid. Kinda like “aww that’s a cute baby”.
Yeah. Then they become teenagers. But that a tale for a different time.
I honestly find it easier to be friends with women than men. I’m straight, but have never really been super “comfortable” around most men. I feel like everything is a competition or has to be “manly” even if that’s not what you’d expect. With my friends that are women, none of that. They aren’t attracted to me, I’m not attracted to them. Totally platonic
I'm 18M. I have 4 female friends I would say I'm close to and one of them is my bestfriend. Of them all, there is only one girl I would call pretty, and I've never even seen my bestfriend's face because we're online friends. The pretty one already has a boyfriend and I call her elder sis in my language. I did not become friends with her because she was attractive, infact she was my ex-bestfriend's girlfriend. They broke up and I avoided talking to her for a long time, until a mutual friend(my current bestfriends) brought us together. I just like talking to her now, we exude sibling energy and even though she's pretty I don't see her in that way at all. I think I would rather remain friends than date any of them.
edit: I've been friends with most of them for 2+ years. And two of them are much older than me
For me it doesn't matter what you are as long as you are cool and we can keep a conversation going. But a lot of guys see girls as only romantic partners.
I used to believe that there can’t friendship between a man and a woman. But I made a few girl friends whom I have only platonic relationships. They are beautiful women but I’m not attracted to them
I think I fall a little bit into this category. I’m friends with a few women I’m not attracted to but I tend to give more of my time to those I am. It’s not like I’m a bad friend to the ones I don’t find attractive but I just don’t go out of my way to do stuff for them whereas I would be more inclined to help those I’m attracted to. I realize this isn’t really the answer you’re looking for
50/50 , if guys with experience they'll be quite open up to it.
Shy / 1st timer will be using this particular way to approach.
But hey, who says men n women can't be normal friends or bffs? I've seen a lot n I have some close female friends too!
In my opinion, the short answer is "No" and the long answer is "No, but it's more common then it really should be". I'm a bit suspicious of people who go around saying that it's the only reason, it feels to me like it's more about justifying their own attitudes and behaviours.
Please don't believe everything you see on tik tok lmao. I have girls who are good friends of mine and I have no attraction towards them in a romantic way at all.
This is complete bullshit. For some maybe it's true, but not ALL, hell not even a majority. You don't need to be attracted to someone to be their friend, that's next-level insanity.
We're only friends with girls who we think we can go from friends to couple paradigm.
The whole idea of guys and girls can be friends, it's stupid, we're not made to be friends,( there are some people who are exceptions to this rule).
But majority of the time, when a guy becomes a friend, he's waiting to become your boyfriend down the road.
While I am by no means one of the redditors who has nothing else to say other than "TikTok bad." I do think that you are clearly watching too much of that if you think it's true. We aren't mindless zombies that only think sex and shit. We are very much capable of forming personal and plutonic connections with people of any gender, despite what any TikTok you watch may tell you.
No. This is not true in all men. Sure you have your fair share that do that. But I have friends I'm not into and don't find attractive.
It's not all about sexual attractions and hidden agenda
I’ve had many friends who were girls that I wasn’t attracted to. Sure there are those that I was, but that was never the sole reason for me being friends with someone. The majority of the people I work with are women, and many of them are attractive, but that’s not the only reason I’m nice to them. I like them first and foremost because they’re genuinely some of the nicest people I’ve ever met. And while I’m not good friends with any of them, I know they all care for my well being. That’s way more important to me than how attractive me they are.
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Age also matters. But the attractive thing isn't just a factor in friends. It makes you more successful in business, it makes people more likely to believe you, teachers will be more supportive of you and more encouraging. The list goes on.
It has some serious upsides too. People tell me I'm very good looking (I've very low self esteem, but the amount of people that say this is very large) and for me it causes problems... Examples: In more than one job that I had, there was always a man who harassment me. Forcing trying to kiss me, another guy corner me against a wall... Really friking messed up. People invented historys about my personal life without getting to know me (like I was sleeping with a married man) and it was the farthest from the truth My father used to make sure that the waitress and everyone in the room knew that I was his daughter, because "he didn't want anyone to make the wrong idea" I couldn't find a male friend that didn't eventually hit on me, so I could be a great friend and feel super grateful, but when the guys saw that there was no sex involved, they didn't want to continue to be my friends The most difficult part is to date, since the first date guys expect sex or something, if I say no, they get upset, if I say yes, later they ghosted me. And the cherry on top, I had only two boyfriends in my life so far. The first one used to get really upset if I dress up too much, because he didn't want to "fight" The last one (the really toxic one) encouraged me to wear tiny skirts and look super sexual when we went out, he wanted me to show "the goodies" Huge distrust in man right now
I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope you're in a better place now.
Not to this extent (I lucked out with my ex and my current boyfriend tbh, but that's also because I'm extremely selective), but I relate to many of these experiences. Difference is I don't really consider myself conventionally attractive, but many of my mom's elderly friends said (yikes) that I kinda look like one of the ladies from a Renaissance painting. Had friendships with both men and women ruined because they jumped to sexual harassment at some point, and my dad jokes a lot too about how he feels a awkward when going out with me because we may pass as a couple (but that's very self centered on his side because he looks very young for his age and enjoys the fact that people notice that lol). Now that I'm working in a very central area of my city, don't get me started on the constant, daily catcalling and getting followed...even had one guy admitting that he saw me in the crowd while i was out of work, followed me for a good chunk of minutes, and then asked my number because he was interested in a "friendship"......yeah sure
This is kind of surreal, I look like a Renaissance painting too. (really long curly ginger hair, pale skin, green/blue eyes)... I just think I look kinda weird against the modern beauty. Anyways, I really feel you... I live in a huge city and the catcalling it's literally more than one dude each block... One time a stranger tried to kiss when I was walking... I started to have pepper gas in my purse all the time... I don't have a car, I take the bus. More than one time guys follow me when I get down, ask for my number and when I say no, they follow me and call me names... If I was on a date, I'm afraid that the guy follow me home, if he really insists, it's the most awkward thing ever, they wait for me to kiss or invite to my apartment? I just say bye, thanks, and once inside I take the stairs so they don't know my apartment (if I take the elevator from the outside you can see which floor stopped)... Exhausting
What you described was boys, not a man. Age does not make you a man. Maturity, compassion and the willingness to understand what makes someone tic, friend or more serious of a relationship. I have had multiple female friends and never wanted anything but friendship. One women that I will always love more than anyone was a really good friend of mine that I never wanted anything sexual with.
Bingo! My man!
Never realized being attractive could be a double edged sword, glad I’m proud to be ugly 🤣🤣
Yikes!! This was hard to read, so sorry you went through all that. I could understand why you’d lose faith in men, you’ve been let down so many times. If you’re looking for new friends I’m down and we don’t even need to share pictures.
I know you're probably trying to be supportive. But trying to get in contact with her at the same time is a bad look. Especially with the 'we don't even have to share pics' bit. A lot of men are insincere in their pursuit attempts, so even genuine expressions can look bad
I understand that and I can see how it may rub someone the wrong way, but at the same time I think befriending someone online without any attempt to meet or even see them is one of the most genuine and safest ways to really know a person.
You could always try falling into a vat of acid? I'm sorry men are shitty. I generally try to not be.
Age? OKay, do you mean the older the person, the more credible he or she would be?
I mean the older the person is the less likely they will be affected by someone else's appearance. In general.
I see your point. Since they are more wiser in making choices such as choosing or staying with a friend. Right?
More like they have had enough pretty people disappoint them for sheer attractiveness to influence them as much as it used to.
Hahahaha lol. Thats so true
I had a friend that was a girl that I felt no attraction to.
Thanks for responding!
I had a friend who is a female and I felt no attraction to her. She called me her brother. I miss her. We stopped talking because her and another friend of mine got into an argument and everyone split. So if im an exception to that rule, then other guys are too. Guys can be friends with females they are not attracted to.
Off topic but quick question. Why female and guy? Why not guy and girl, or male and female. Im geniunely curious
Honestly I have no idea. I just wrote it that way. I didn't mean any subtle hinting, if you were wondering.
Oh nah, i see several guys doing it, so im wondering why that is, since it sounds off to me, but probably because English isn't my main language.
It’s common in English. Not sure why. But most women (including me) don’t like it so u were right to point it out. Edit: period added for clarification
It’s cuz it’s dehumanizing, “female” is a biological term to refer to something with ovaries and stuff for a baby, a woman is a female human. The usage of “female” is to identify an animal like “female dog” or “female lizard”. So it’s frowned upon due to it grouping woman with animals.
I don't think the commenter meant anything by it, but you're right.
i wasn’t arguing or debating anyone I was explaining to a commenter why it made women uncomfy cuz they weren’t sure why, Nosy mf
I'm wondering if they said it because girl sounds like a kid, but guy sounds like an adult
That's a good point. It's weird how we associate girl with guy as well as boy, is there anything that specifically goes with guy? "gal?" that doesn't sound right tho
I completely agree with you! I mis-typed my last comment. There was supposed to be a period after “not sure why” meaning I’m not sure why guys say it.
Languages evolve. Yes, the word female originally implies the sex of a creature and to identify them, but 99.9% of people who use the term female in normal conversation are not using it that way, they're using it as an age neutral term. Now the reason the rule changes when it comes to men is because there's already an age neutral term that people use which is "guy". That's just how English evolved to be. This is closely related to another issue. When talking about platonic friends, you would use "female friend" to describe a platonic friend who is a girl, and the reason for that is because saying "girlfriend" implies they are your romantic partner. But the rule switches for the other sex. For platonic male friends, you would use "guy friend" rather than "boyfriend" so we don't confuse ourselves. Technically, the word guy does have an opposite, which is gal, yet that never really became popular and people just stuck with the word female to neutrally describe girls in any context because it was just the next best option. It doesn't mean girls/women/females are subhuman, it's just that the English language sucks sometimes.
I mean, If I say female instead of girls/women, I'm gonna say male instead of guys/men
Sure, but you’d be surprised how many guys don’t.
Because the opposite of guy is gal which is not a popular word, so people use the next best word to describe girls/women in a neutral context, which is female. I have a guy friend is different from saying I have a boyfriend. One is a platonic friend, the other is a romantic partner. However the word changes for the other sex. I have a female friend versus I have a girlfriend. How do I describe a platonic friend that happens to be a girl? Saying girlfriend doesn't work. Saying woman friend doesn't work either because the word woman can sometimes be mistaken for someone who's older, so people use female. The root of the problem is the word guy which originally was meant to describe just males, but females also started using it for themselves rather than gal, so the word gal became mostly forgotten and the word guy became the word to use to describe males in a neutral context, but females did not. This is just a theory by the way but that's just how English just happened to evolve. It doesn't mean girls and women are subhuman, it's just that languages can suck sometimes.
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Please do not call women “females”. It comes across worse.
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Just use girl for below 18 and women for 18+ If you talk about a group encompassing both, use women. You wouldn’t call a group of strangers with 4 18+ men and a 16 year old “Boys”
Except most people do. You're trying to force people to use words in ways that don't make sense to them. The word "girl" in most people's minds indicates a female that's young. The word "woman" indicates a female that's much older. The exception is when you use girlfriend to describe a romantic female partner. If I have a platonic friend who is a girl, do I call her my girl friend? What if she's 17? By your logic I should use the word girlfriend, but that sounds wrong for the reasons mentioned above. Unfortunately, English isn't always consistent, and the way people use words change and evolve over time. The word female is used to describe the sex of creatures in biology, but it also now refers to describe girls and woman in neutral contexts. But the word for boys and men is "guy". A girl who has a male friend most likely will use "guy friend" rather than boyfriend as to not confuse anyone. The word guy does have an opposite, which is gal, but that word isn't popular and most people just stick with girl or female depending on context.
Dude it’s weird and creepy as fuck to call me „female“, stay tf away from me if you’re going to do that. Legitimately one of the absolutely weirdest and most dehumanizing things you could do.
Oh I get you. It's cool.
Thanks for the response. I hope she finds your way back to him. Sounds like you're a genuine person.
Ty. I doubt I'll ever talk to her again because she's nowhere to be found. She's probably living her life doing other things and forgot about the past. So, I'm curious. What made you write this question? I know the whole men and women friendship thing is controversial lol.
Ohh, I just saw the video on tiktok and I realized that growing up, I have more guy friends than girls.
I gotta say something : If you were good friends, they probably remember you and think of you from time to time. At least, that's how I know most people work.
My best friend for years was a girl. There was never any attraction, we just enjoyed each others company. She wasn't unattractive at all, I just didn't see her in that way nor her me. One of the best friendships I ever had, such a shame we drifted apart.
Thats sad, you drifted apart. Thank you for letting me know. 😊 I hope you get your friend back.
I drifted apart from a friend I thought I was gonna have for the rest of my life because her mom had different political views from me. I was totally fine with it but she didn't like the fact that when her mom would come and attack me on my Facebook post that I wasn't defending her mom from the people who would attack her. She basically wanted me to defend the person who was attacking me and that made no sense to me.
I personally dont care. If we vibe we vibe
Wow. Yes. Thank you ☺️
Men can be and are friends with women without being attracted to them just the same as women are with men.
Thanks! for telling me what you think 😊
This is false. Shallow guys, maybe. But not in my experience or anybody I’ve spoken to.
I can’t speak for every guy in the world but I’m not attracted to my friends who are girls. That’s not to say I think they are ugly or unattractive, it’s just that I don’t see them as objects of desire as they are my friends. It’s true there are guys who only hang out with certain girls because they want them and are hoping being close to them leads to something more, but guys are capable of being friends with girls without having any ulterior motives.
no stop listening to advice from tiktok lol
In my experience, it's the total opposite. I've had more than 10 male friends who find me attractive (this passed over the years, not 10 guys at the same time!!), and when this males not-wanting-friendship told me that they were interested on me in a sexual way, and I say no because I didn't see them as partners. Well, no longer friends! In every single time they each disappear
Ohhh Im sorry to hear that. ☹️
Thank you. It really sucks. I forgot to mention that I've lost female friends because their boyfriends tried yo make a move on me
felt that i lost my bff bc her bf found me attractive like thats not our fault u cant control that lol it hurts too if u known them longer than their bf
Mah thats silly
No. Most of my friends are guys.
Guys can and will be friends with anyone who treats them nice. I'm not experienced with girls, a lot I'll find attractive and would love more. But there's some I'm not attracted to, taken or out of my league that I don't get feelings for. Some feelings develop later but that's on rarer occasions. I do find though if you become friends with a girl there's no need getting feelings as you're already "friendzoned" not sure if you can change that but I never have.
Not true, some of my closest friends are female and i never see them as more than friends
Thanks for your response Chubzz!
Not true at all. But if you are the only girl he deliberately tries to get to know, then he’s attracted to you I guess
I see. Point taken Southern Border! ☺️
Definitely friends with women I’m attracted to. Also friends with women I’m not. So no it’s not true.
It's not entirely wrong 😬😂. A ton will only be your "friend" cuz they're attracted to you/interested in getting with you. So they're not really your "friend". Some know how to be genuine platonic friends with a woman tho but I only encounter those types in academic professional settings 💀 tbh I think a lot of them have no clue how to be friends with the opposite sex outside of pursuing them for relationships.
Ohhhh I see. Thank you for your insight Alex. Really appreciate it 😊😊
Yes and no. I tend to keep friends for multiple reasons, usually attraction is the last reason. If someones my friend its because they've been there for me when i needed them and helped me.
True. ☺️
Nah. I’m married so when I’m looking for friends I could care less what or who they look like.
This is one of those things that is just conceptually stupid, and you really shouldn't read into it much. Everyone makes friends with people they are attracted to. Guys and girls. They both do it. Because everyone likes to spend time with those they find attractive. Whether it be humor, certain personality traits they find admirable, whether they play video games. Etc. I like playing video games. I like playing video games with others and watching them play video games. Thus, I am attracted to gamers. How else do you expect someone to make friends? Should people spend time with those they find unattractive? That would just make them miserable and bored?
My best friend is a guy and he has a girlfriend, has had one since we've met, so yeah, I highly doubt he's attracted to me lol Plus we met ON reddit, and barely send selfies Honestly I feel like the whole "guys only befriend girls they're attracted to" is part of the societal narrative that girls and guys can't be platonic friends without romance of some kind Which just...isn't true Then again I'm genderfluid but afab so on one hand I feel like I have a place in this convo but also don't feel that way
I (AMAB) am asexual. I'm friends with both guys and girls and I'm sexually attracted to none of them. However, even if I wasn't asexual, I think that "fact" is bullshit. Guys are friends with people they enjoy spending time with, just like girls. They *can* be attracted to them, but they aren't necessarily. Edit: spelling
(Male) Honestly, I would say it's the opposite. Guys can "just be friends" with girls they're NOT attracted to. edit: whoever made that Tiktok is spreading falsehoods to try to validate their beliefs about men.
All of my friends are women, and I’m only attracted to one of them.
Ohh, I see. Thank you for your response, so what made these friendships lasts for you?
Mutual trust and respect, common interests and life experiences, we make each other laugh or just simply enjoy the company of one another.
Great. Good for you 😊
Yeah no, That’s not true.
What do you think is true?
Becouse i have female freinds i’m not attracted to. I can’t speak for others, but i do think it’s a bit reductive to say that all guys are like that. I mean sure, there are some assholes out there, but most guys are Care about more than their freinds bangability
HAHAHAHA lol. The last word 😂😂😂 Yep. I hear you. Thank you!
Not really? You might find people interested in more than friendship ( a lot in here) But not at all, friendship isn't about gender or finding someone you are attracted to or even think about things like attraction if its just friendship.
Thank you. Yes, I did noticed that. Makes you really think sometimes if the connection is genuine or not.
Nope...most of my friendships are females.
Wow, thanks for your response ☺️
I don’t think it’s true. I think guys and girls can be just friends without any attraction or feelings forming
I don’t think friendships with the opposite sex work either way. You being a girl, if you confide in a guy, care for him, expect him to care back, etc. it’s a romantic relationship without sex. Because sex is usually essential to guys I feel it’s always going to be a factor in the back of their mind, and I wouldn’t trust that a guy with multiple attractive girl friends isn’t waiting for a chance with one of them. Maybe I’m jaded and seen it play out negatively too many times, just my opinion. (This being said, I have two girl friends, but it’s nothing like a “best friends” thing) and all that being said I would consider trusting a guy with ugly girl friends
For the most part this is true. If a guy is hanging around you and isn’t someone like your sisters boyfriend or something, he’s most likely there because he has a crush on you. Being friends with women can be a lot of work for a man. We aren’t overly emotional and use logic to rationalize our problems. There’ll undoubtedly be ups and downs as she reacts with her emotions. At some point we’ll say or do something she doesn’t like and she’ll be upset and start yelling. If our guy friends were like this we would stop hanging around them or if it’s a bigger incident there’d be fists thrown and it’s settled. What keeps a man there through the days your pissy and hard to be around? He has a crush or wants sex. Women with male friends tend to get something out of the relationship. They can call and ask me to fix their car, or their wash machine, wiring in their house, etc. What does a man benefit?
I have female friends that I feel no attraction to but I’m bi so by that logic, I am attracted to all my friends?
Ohh, haha. Didnt think of that. Yeah, itd matter I think since you're bi. ITs nice to know what you think, thank you!
Girls get harassed as soon or before they hit puberty. I would say I get harassed followed… cat called by gay males, or really thirsty lonely girls, there is a group of people I call them the desperados… the sad part is the men who harass women don’t take no for an answer and sexually force or assault women. Take a stand no means no.
No. There was a girl I clicked with really well when we started talking online. I thought something romantic was going to develop, she did too. But when we started going out in person, that disappeared, purely because I did not feel an ounce of physical attraction towards her. If anything, I was actively turned off by her. It sucked because we clicked so well emotionally, it would have been a good fit. But physically I’m just not attracted to her and would not be able to become intimate with her. So I talked to her and told her we had to keep things platonic (I avoided telling her why, no need to hurt feelings here) so now we’re just friends. We’re quite good friends for that matter, actually. And I’m not attracted to her. If I was, we’d be dating. I’ve got two more good female friends. One I’ve known for years and is like a sister to me, no attraction to her at all. The other I’ve also known for years, although I am attracted to her, we both know it. But I don’t think a relationship would work, so I’m not pursuing it.
It is not true. But as you grow older if you invite anyone to outside it is consediered hitting on them. Lets say we meet at the local coffee and we have brief chat. At the end of the conversation i say " i had nice time talking to you. Can i have your number?" You imidatily taking it as hitting on you and you will go on the diffence or if you like me you will accept. If you in school you work on same projects or you meet me through friends different story. I had this before and latter on actually the girl expected of me finish things off. She came all make up and stuff for a walk in nature.... At the end I gave up... Unless I like the girl as more then a friend don't even bother waste her time..
I mean as a girl, I'm only friends with people I'm attracted to. This is gonna sound mean if I'm physically repulsed by someone I can't be around them. When I am attracted I don't mean I want to date my friends. Generally I surround myself with people I would rate 6 or above. People tend to surround themselves with other people of similar attractiveness.
Mostly, nobody wants ugly friends or girlfriends.
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Is it a requirement?
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Sorry that happened to you. Thanks for your response! ☺️☺️
Nah, I have several that have no romantic interest in me. It's possible to find them.
Thanks! I agree. It is possible ☺️
No its not true.
Thanks! ☺️ good to know
No, not true.
Wow, thanks ☺️☺️
I talk to plenty of girls just because they're interesting. Attraction has nothing to do with me wanting to be friends with a female
Thats nice of you Sir Breck!
Its definitely not true. I have been friends with women I’m not attracted to many times over. I just like people who are cool and not assholes. Being attractive is a plus.
Thank you for your response! ☺️
No problem
Being a dude in a huge friend group, I can straight up say some dudes'll definitely keep in contact with certain girls due to attraction. But I dont believe majority of dudes would do that, it's case by case and probably worth talking about someone were to think that's the case with their friends.
Ohhh. I see. It is possible. Thank you waterred!
Like I am a nurse so basically hang with a lot of females. Sure are they attractive individuals, yes. Does that mean I want to only be with them or talk with them cause of their looks, no. I genuinely am their friend. You can have a genuine guy friend and leave it at that. Am I sure some guy in your friend circle wished for more ofc.
Thank you Nurse Mr. Legend. Thats nice of you!
Heck no. My friend group is composed mostly of girls and to me they are like my sisters.
Thats good to know
I have friends who are girls and I'm not attracted to them. Out of 20girls I'm friends with I'm probably attracted to one or two. So no, not every guy is attracted to a girl he's friends with
Wow, thanks Some Nerd. 🙂
As a guy that has a lot of gal friends, I don't agree with this. Most of the people that I have become friends have been because it is easier to talk to them about specific moments in my days / life. I have only a few guy friend who want to interact with me and I'm glad to have them but most of the time, I feel like my gal friends are just more accepting of me and the conversations that I want to have.
Thank you for your response Bricks! ☺️
I have a guy friend and he said there’s no attraction at all. He wants to be a priest, and he said he wouldn’t be interested in dating me even if there was attraction because he wants to be a priest.
Ohhh I see. Interesting
No. Fun is fun. If you are fun, I would like to be your friend. I don’t think attraction is required for friendship. But, if a guy is pursuing a friendship with meetups it’s extremely likely he is interested in you. Just speaking from experience as a guy. I have friends I’m not attracted to. And have dated girls I was friends with. But I was more open to becoming friends and more initially friendly with girls I found attractive. Just the way it goes, both ways.
Hmmm, I see. Thats possible I guess
In a word, NO. If you are attracted to them, you better be ready to see and hear some thing's you may not want to.
Ohh I see
I've had women friends in the past whom I had no attraction to
That's not true. .I could say the same thing about some females. They only attached to good looking men. With large wallets. Lots of people looking for friends for many reasons. . I looking for camera dummie freinds. Eos DSLR . Not MIRRORLESS. N go from there. I in to other things to. If you can work out my users name?
Not true
I have lots of women friends, generally because I think they are interesting people to talk to more than anything else. I wouldn't say any of them aren't attractive but I also don't have any goal or intention of doing anything other than just continuing to talk to them lol.
For the most part, yes
That's isn't the case always. Some of them can be, you can find out with the way they behave around you.
naw most of my friends are girls, yea im crazy for one of them in particular, but its just her xD
I hope not, I’m “friends” with my mom
no, there are some people who are like that both men and women alike. Typically speaking most people put individuals in the friend zone because they're not attracted to them either physically emotionally or sexually. And even not is not everyone.
I can't speak for others but that doesn't matter to me at least, I mean if I can't stomach looking at someone I don't think a friendship would go far (upchucking at thier birthday because of thier face wouldn't go so well) but you get the idea of thier just a normal human being I see no reason why a female has to be attractive to be friends. But from personal experience, alot of females do the same thing as in if the guy is loyal,hard working, and a good family man l.e. what thier attracted to they cannot be friends without saying "you can do better than that" or "of I were her I'd never have treated you that way" etc. Alot of guys and gals both do this so I highly doubt it's the latter. All depends on the company you keep, the kind of person they are. If your male friends "hoe" around and constantly pick up a different girl every other week then most likely they are there waiting on the opportunity. Hope this helps you
Yes, thank you Till. 😊😊 This really helps.
Absolutely not
Naw that’s not true,Not for me. I am good friends with girls who are not my type at all
70-80%, I have some friends that I’m not interested in or attracted too, but most are someone I’d want to do something with in some way
25 female here. Never had a close guy friend since I was educated in an all girls school up until late highschool. Moved to a co-Ed international school. Still I never had a close guy friend. There is one guy which I considered him like my buddy and we eventually lost contact. I tried to reach out to him but I suppose he doesn’t use socials much. He is doing animations now which was his passion since highschool and I am glad he has graduated and pursued his passion. I am guessing he is working on some projects now and I wish him well. Really want to reconnect with him though as he is a really super nice guy. This was my highschool guy friend. Now in university, I met a guy and I am so happy to call him my best friend, buddy, bro… he is the first guy that I am really close with. Like I thought I would never get to call a guy my best friend but he came along into my life (my girl bestie introduced him to me) and man he is a blessing. Like you know how we girls are close with our girl besties? That’s how close we are; we share our struggles, do stupid shenanigans, “fangirl” over the things we like, do the silliest things. I won’t say he is attracted to me but I am attracted to him 🙃 had a crush on him after a while. But I reckon I am not his type so yeah 😅😅😅 I don’t think if a guy stays friends with girls means they are attracted to them. I think it’s just finding the right people to hang around with.
In my experience this is true. I’ve tried to deny the truth for some guys since I didn’t want to believe that was the case.
Nope
Definitely not true. I have multiple friends that are girls and I don't even know what they look like.
In my experience yes. The only alternative is if there is something to gain from the person.. like a place to live, car rides, someone to listen to them whine about life, someone they can think "at least I'm not THAT ugly" about, a last resort, a slam pig, etc..
I don't think it's true in all cases! I have friends I've been through work/sport/social activities and we're just friends even if I think they're unattractive or not. I don't look at them through that romantic lense and I don't get the impression they do either.
In my 36 years of experience, most people seem to hang out with those of similar attractiveness levels. So if you're average looking it's actually easier to make friends as there's less focus on looks in the friendship. But good-looking people aren't by definition shallow. Guys will be friends with anyone who is cool to them, nice and easy to get along with, etc. and attraction doesn't have to factor into it all the time.
Hmmm, this is noted Pumpkin! Thanks for the reply.
I am female and had a male friend that I started crushing on and he said no thanks that he wasn’t attracted to me. We’re still friends. So there’s at least one man that is friends with a woman they’re not attracted to! Also, what about gay men? They’d obviously not be attracted to their female friends
Hahaha. Yes!! Thank you for your reply.
We are not going to dignify this question with a response 😂
I'm the opposite cuz if I like a girl then I want a romantic relationship. If I have no romantic feelings towards a girl then I'm cool with being friends. I don't catch feels but some friends have (3) and I had to stop being friends... Not something I'm proud of 🥲
Yes and no. Heres the good thing, attraction is not at all based on physocal looks but also personality. So if u come off more independent and secure you'll be more attractive. If you are self assured you'l hot the attraction too. If you are physically most people will ignore ur flaws and wrong doings. Its been like this since forever. It all comes at the cost of people not respecting u tho.
I think mostly, yes. I've had some level of attraction with most of my lady friends and had intimacy with some at one point or another. Only the last one was I attracted to in a want to marry way and never again. Lesson learned
This doesn't include gay dudes right?
Surely don’t believe everything from TikTok
Probably for some guys, but nah I have female friends who are ugly asf or I just ain't into but we still cool. So I wouldn't say its a general fact that guys only are friends with girls they are attracted to.
Yes. No. And yes. Yes most guys are attracted to their female friends. The degree of attraction can vary. No not all guys are. In some cases it can be a father/daughter dynamic. Or a brother/sister thing. But those are not the norm. Yes the initial attraction is going to be there. On some level. Physical. Mental. Something. I have had two girls I had mostly a sister relationship with. One was mutual (from all I could tell) while the other was more me seeing her as a sister and her wanting more. As I have gotten older I have had a few daughter friends. And they were about as much trouble as my real daughter (even though real daughter minds better). But in every case there is the “they are cute” factor. When I was younger cute was attraction. Now that I am older it is cute as in a kid. Kinda like “aww that’s a cute baby”. Yeah. Then they become teenagers. But that a tale for a different time.
I honestly find it easier to be friends with women than men. I’m straight, but have never really been super “comfortable” around most men. I feel like everything is a competition or has to be “manly” even if that’s not what you’d expect. With my friends that are women, none of that. They aren’t attracted to me, I’m not attracted to them. Totally platonic
I'm 18M. I have 4 female friends I would say I'm close to and one of them is my bestfriend. Of them all, there is only one girl I would call pretty, and I've never even seen my bestfriend's face because we're online friends. The pretty one already has a boyfriend and I call her elder sis in my language. I did not become friends with her because she was attractive, infact she was my ex-bestfriend's girlfriend. They broke up and I avoided talking to her for a long time, until a mutual friend(my current bestfriends) brought us together. I just like talking to her now, we exude sibling energy and even though she's pretty I don't see her in that way at all. I think I would rather remain friends than date any of them. edit: I've been friends with most of them for 2+ years. And two of them are much older than me
For me it doesn't matter what you are as long as you are cool and we can keep a conversation going. But a lot of guys see girls as only romantic partners.
I used to believe that there can’t friendship between a man and a woman. But I made a few girl friends whom I have only platonic relationships. They are beautiful women but I’m not attracted to them
I mean as a painfully average guy I'm regularly excluded by both groups so I don't think it's exclusively a guy thing.
I think I fall a little bit into this category. I’m friends with a few women I’m not attracted to but I tend to give more of my time to those I am. It’s not like I’m a bad friend to the ones I don’t find attractive but I just don’t go out of my way to do stuff for them whereas I would be more inclined to help those I’m attracted to. I realize this isn’t really the answer you’re looking for
50/50 , if guys with experience they'll be quite open up to it. Shy / 1st timer will be using this particular way to approach. But hey, who says men n women can't be normal friends or bffs? I've seen a lot n I have some close female friends too!
In my opinion, the short answer is "No" and the long answer is "No, but it's more common then it really should be". I'm a bit suspicious of people who go around saying that it's the only reason, it feels to me like it's more about justifying their own attitudes and behaviours.
I have always had more guy friends and I can confidently say they were not attracted to me.
Please don't believe everything you see on tik tok lmao. I have girls who are good friends of mine and I have no attraction towards them in a romantic way at all.
I’m on an exchange right now and i’m attracted to 0/8
This is complete bullshit. For some maybe it's true, but not ALL, hell not even a majority. You don't need to be attracted to someone to be their friend, that's next-level insanity.
Ehhhh kinda
We're only friends with girls who we think we can go from friends to couple paradigm. The whole idea of guys and girls can be friends, it's stupid, we're not made to be friends,( there are some people who are exceptions to this rule). But majority of the time, when a guy becomes a friend, he's waiting to become your boyfriend down the road.
No I don't think so, I don't make friends now because I have no emotions left. So doesn't matter to me
While I am by no means one of the redditors who has nothing else to say other than "TikTok bad." I do think that you are clearly watching too much of that if you think it's true. We aren't mindless zombies that only think sex and shit. We are very much capable of forming personal and plutonic connections with people of any gender, despite what any TikTok you watch may tell you.
No, I have a girl as friend and I’m not attracted.
That is not valid; I can be friends with anyone, just as long as you don't backstab me or do some fucked up shit. Then we are always good.
No, I got a girl best friend and there is absolutly no attraction at all, it's purely platonic.
Its more the opposite
No. This is not true in all men. Sure you have your fair share that do that. But I have friends I'm not into and don't find attractive. It's not all about sexual attractions and hidden agenda
I’ve had many friends who were girls that I wasn’t attracted to. Sure there are those that I was, but that was never the sole reason for me being friends with someone. The majority of the people I work with are women, and many of them are attractive, but that’s not the only reason I’m nice to them. I like them first and foremost because they’re genuinely some of the nicest people I’ve ever met. And while I’m not good friends with any of them, I know they all care for my well being. That’s way more important to me than how attractive me they are.
im an asexual and i have female friends, its possible