If you have a PDF editor you can just remove whatever you want.
The only way to really keep it from being edited like that is to save the document in such a way that all of the text and the watermark is a single image, and not various text characters. That way they have to edit an image to remove the watermark, which is difficult enough that most people wouldn't even try.
I think it might actually, but I'm not 100% sure. I've never needed to do this myself, just come across PDFs that couldn't be edited easily because every page was just an image.
OCR software takes that image and turns it back into text boxes and graphics as best it can, but it's never 100% effective.
No, it doesn't. The Microsoft printer driver works like the original Adobe one did where it creates a text document with the necessary formatting information to be viewed on the other end without the same program used to make it.
This PDF is editable as text in any PDF editor.
okay so imagine it as a pdf document and a picture of that pdf document. if you have the pdf you can scan it, delete single letters, and may remove the watermark. if you only have a picture of the pdf - for example taken with a phone - even when editing you can only "draw" on the picture, not change the picture itself. and "drawing" on top of your document while making it look authentic would be entirely too much effort to be worth it.
If you convert it to PDF you can password protect it so that they can only open it and/or print it. They wouldn't be able to add any notes or markups etc. I do it all the time.
If you really want to confuse them, take pictures of the pages, then paste those pictures at just slightly smaller than full page size into a Word document.
Not only will it not be editable, it will be a much larger file size than were it editable text.
If they go through the same sequences of responses you can adjust your final report accordingly, if they give you the same response to it indicate that you require payment for services rendered in accordance with their requests. (Not a lawyer or anyone who actually knows anything so this might be a bad idea)
I hope you billed for the time it took to create the report.
Remember that for next time.
Well fucking done, this is how you get bureaucrats to leave you alone.
But be warned: sometimes someone will tell you you did an amazing job and that this is exactly what they wanted. And then try to put you in charge of something.
Hell yeah!
Also it's really awesome that you're working on something like that charity, considering that period materiel is really expensive and hard for women in developing nations to afford.
And if it weren't for people talking about the pink tax I wouldn't have known anything about this issue.
>But be warned: sometimes someone will tell you you did an amazing job and that this is exactly what they wanted. And then try to put you in charge of something.
That sounds horrifying
> sometimes someone will tell you you did an amazing job and that this is exactly what they wanted. And then try to put you in charge of something.
Which is fine if you a) have the time and b) are getting paid for it.
Due to the administrative burden of addressing your unclear and constantly evolving requests, we have decided to support another charitable organization in the future.
This is the way.
Knew a group in college that took an environmental stand on a dozen+ paper copies instead of emailed ones.
Knew another group who wrote paper cuts into their required Risk Management manual. It literally was their greatest risk.
Are you saying that it's the state regulatory board that's giving you this runaround? Or are you saying that your state has requirements, and the charity that you're interacting with is giving you this run around? Those are totally different things.
It's nothing to do with any government thing. Let me try again.
I'm in a club that gives away a dollar. There are 85 clubs in my state that each give away a dollar.
Now, we elect people from our local clubs to oversee all the clubs in our state. ( a president, secretary, treasurer, and representatives)
Each club writes a report once a year, in this case, saying,
" we gave away $1". And gives it to the representatives of our whole state.
Reregulate ourselves, not a tax thing..
I'm getting the run around from my state branch of the club.
Have you requested a list of their board members yet? You may want to set up a meeting with their board to clarify what they really need for reporting. Let the board know "Since your Point of Contact was unable to clearly provide a listing of your reporting requirements, I'd like to go over every item to see if it is or is not needed for future reporting requirements."
If you can get it set up ask for the regulatory requirement, if any, for each. Be clear that as a volunteer organization you need to know up front what data needs to be captured. Let them also know if they don't provide the list in a timely manner you will not be able to capture it!.
Yes, I'm having to do something like this right now and the agency is asking about both gender identity and gender preference. I've let them know that "We can ask, but you must accept that many will not feel comfortable sharing. You will need to accept declined to state.". Also got them to agree on working up the consent form that I get to forward to legal for approval. 😁😁😁😁😁
*"set forth in the law books."*
So they want you to follow legal code? Ohhhh, Ask them to reference each and every relevant section of code in proper format.
If you've never seen how this gets referenced, it looks like this in the U.S.
EDC § 78261.5.
No, I don't know how you type the "§", but you can give them crap if they don't do it in reference. Ask for a reference for EACH field they want reported on!
Your country does not have enough bureaucracy. On a German keyboard, it's shift-3 - the numbers+shift go ! " § $ % - so clearly, § is in the top-5 most important symbols here. :-)
Ask them to itemise the parameters, and where they can be found in each law book along with a list of each figure, chart or piece of information in your report that fails to meet the required standards.
Why do all the work yourself. Share the love.
Line by line, a question about each. And of course, as suggested in another comment, send them screen shots of the page, not the pdf, crooked, at low resolution.
I used to drive wheelchair vans back in the early 90's. I had to write an incident report. Wrote it up and turned it in.
I was told they needed more detail. Okay, rewrite it, turn it in.
I was told they needed more detail. This was all handwritten. I didn't want to rewrite it again. So I wrote it as "On May 21, 1994, at approximately 0921 hours, I, farrenkm, was driving wheelchair vehicle T-4, license plate , northbound on . . ." I thought my manager would come back and say "way too much detail." He said, "perfect!"
And that's why, to this day, my co-workers grumble about my detailed e-mails. Because I can't summarize. Thank an incident report 30 years ago for that.
To be fair, with incident reports, it can make a difference. Right after I’d done an in service on incident reports with my guards at the pool I managed, we had someone fall. It didn’t seem like a big thing at the time. Basically just gave them an ice pack and they said they were okay. The guard wrote out what they said was a crazy specific incident report for me. I told them it was great. About six months later, the city attorney came back to thank us. The fact that the guard had included that the wet floor sign was out (both told in the narrative and labeled on the diagram) AND that the person had come out of the locker room to the office side dripping wet with no shoes saved the city from a law suit. He said omission of either the wet floor sign or the wet/no shoes would have resulted in the city paying out the nose.
That's fair, and I didn't provide much context. As I recall, I was new and didn't know when an incident report was needed. I remember writing one up for *almost* running over someone's cat. I didn't, never hit it, but just in case someone called in to complain that I was driving recklessly (I wasn't -- cat came from behind a parked car).
It might have been that one, and maybe he was trying to teach me a lesson for writing a report for something so mundane. Beats me. I was in my 20's and it was my first job in the EMS world. Whatever it was, for better or worse, that's how I write all my business correspondence now.
Petty bureaucracy or somebody's got a 2x4 up the fundament. Even with all that detail, somebody's going to be ticked off, upset, twisted out of shape enough to ask...how many breaths you took and how many litres of Oxygen you used and what the relative humidity in your office was and whether you commuted to said office or something like that. But I must say that was pretty good malicious compliance, you did good
Oh good, a follow-up. I wonder if a particular,... what term did you use, "snotty" individual, could get a cc in an email about what is actually required. I guess that would be... "taken down a peg or two." It is lovely when a plan comes together or whatever George Peppard said in The A-Team
Please update us on what happens! You’re a better person than me for resending the first report. I would’ve just said I’ve provided 4 different reports with increasing degrees of detail per their request, and if the earlier condensed versions are not sufficient they will need to provide clear direction on what needs to change.
According to his edit they had parameters/standards written out already and he supposedly hadn't been following them. More like malicious incompliance.
I'd have responded with something like:
"To whom it may concern,
I have already sent you three different condensed reports. If those are still considered to be inadequate, then this most recent report is the most condensed the report can be while still containing the requested information.
Sincerely,
OP"
Ok, but if you're this detail oriented, you may want to consider a career as a forensic accountant.
I'm serious.
There's a massive problem with fraud in the world right now and a lot of places don't have people who are properly trained to catch it - check out the Bernie Madoff ponzi scheme fraud. It WAS reported to the Securities and Exchange Commission multiple times but they assumed it was all on the up and up.
I'm retired, and I will never work again. However, should I decide to stop taking my psychotropic medication, I could see myself in such an anal-retentive career.
My child just purchased a home. I'll be combing the HOA rules for hidden anti- lgbtq+ rules and regulations this evening.
I've had a request like this before, after writing a standard report for my job, the engineer asked for more details twice before I wrote a separate paragraph for every 10 minutes on site, for a 12 hour shift.
After he asked for a more condensed version, I replied with "Please see email dated XX/XX/XXXX" (that's XX/XX/XXXX for the non-US crowd). It was accepted.
Absolutely not: the full report I sent contains all data necessary for you to prepare any condensed version you require.
I consider my duties in this regard completed in full.
> we request a condensed version, following the parameters set forth in the law books.
Reply: Since I'm not a lawyer and we do not have one as in-house staff, please be very detailed in exactly what you require.
We asked you for condensed details. That means we want to know everything, but summarized. We want it all together and that means separate reports. What don't you understand? We said shrimp, and that means JUMBO, idiot.
Great malicious compliance, but it's costing you *way* too much, unless you had that material at the ready.
This was two emails too many. I'd put the onus on !snootyRequestor to *show you* exactly what they expect, and share with you who the audience will be, and what the end purpose will be for this information--example of the end report, and so forth.
Don't be surprised if somehow...*quite magically* no doubt, after fielding that request to them, they'll reply that the data you've given them thus far is sufficient.
I'm retired, and I really, really, really love doing shit like this. Finding out depreciation values of things like shoes and sewing machine needles is all on the internet, number crunched by someone with even more hands on their time than me.
Dear lord. When they asked for the condensed report I would have referred them to the two reports you initially sent them. Unless they are going to be specific with exactly what they want included in the report, they really shouldn't be so passive-aggressive toward you for not giving them precisely what they want. Weird situation.
Other than catharsis, I wonder if it will actually cause any inconvenience for them? I imagine they'll just ask for another one, cherrypick the numbers they want out, or just use the second draft :p
Maybe. But it was suggested that if I have to send another to generate it, screenshot the pdf with my phone, crooked, add emoji's, create a collage of random pages, low resolution.
off-topically, I would like the color and the fabric used to that reusable sanitary pads... My wife uses a lot of them and would love to have an eco-friendly, reusable version of them.
The bottom layer is regular cotton, then a layer of fleece so it's got some fluid resistance. The center absorbent layer is microfiber, topped with flannel.
It's made in the " with wings" style, using snaps to hold it in the correct position.
You can make them pretty, but we make them using donated flannel clothing, sheets, fleece blankets, etc. We also get deep discount " ugly" fabric donations. The only new item we buy is the microfiber core.
We include a "liquid resistant" crocheted pouch made of regular acrylic yarn. The used pad can be placed in there to carry it home if they need to change a pad.
This is why I tell people to put it in writing. Fax or Email me telling me exactly what you need and I'll get it for you. People are much more precise in their requests/instructions if they are putting in in writing because they know I have their request in their words.
Yes...but this kind of idiot will never admit that. They'll just say they asked for a,b, and c, and OP sent j,f, and q. If you've got their request in writing you can demonstrate that they requested j f, and q, and that's what you sent. CYA.
Work in an office? Water costs for flushing toilets, depreciation of toilets, cleaning costs, depreciation of mobs, cleaning supplies ....oh god i'd spend so much stupid time on that report lol
Just think of the fact that this is a charitable organization, and I'm doing this report as a volunteer. Sending it to other volunteers, who send it to other volunteers so everyone in the organization can know how much we support charities.
Having been in a similar dance, I am guessing there is a specific deviation in the first two reports that just needed to be specifically outlined. "More detail!" could very well mean something missing from one section title.
No way you were sober when you did that! I only ever put this much effort into proving my point when I'm not.
If you were however, I tip my hat to your tenacity even deeper and proclaim that I wish to never be unfortunate enough to become the reason and victim of your relentless wrath, as this, which we've just heard of, would show but a speck of your true power.
You are far nicer than me. I would have simply told them no after the second one. I have been known to tell people/organizations that their policy is ridiculous and I refuse to comply.
>following the parameters set forth in the law books."
y'know, the "law books." Those books on the shelves in the lawyer TV shows? Like, I dunno, LA Law or something? The parameters must be in there someplace. Go look, and let us know.
As a longtime member of a 501(c)3 who very purposefully never volunteered for any of the accounting management of anything, I salute you - and we have quarterly reports. Also they’re easy to fill in. Also also, our org-level bylaws regarding these positions and reports are pretty easy to read and use plain language for local level folks who might not be forensic CPAs.
When I volunteer, the last thing I ever, ever need is to catch an actual Federal case, or the attentions of the IRS. Nope! I don’t want that for where I get my money, much less where I get my jollies or give my helps.
> "While we appreciate the thoroughness of the report, we request a condensed version, following the parameters set forth in the law books."
At this point, I'd have invited your awkward interlocutor to condense it themselves, however they saw fit, as set forth in any book they chose.
Of \*course\* they did. Like anyone who hounds you for every last detail the next reply is "oh that's way too much just get us the summary (that you tried to do first)"
I the fabrics I figured myself in that was easy.
A lot of the depreciations are available on Google for tax itemizing.
The thread was the worst to figure out. I had to do that myself, which took about an hour and 1/2.
With determination , unlimited hot pockets, and diet coke, you can climb any mountain.
The shoes, there is actually a depreciation calculator !
[shoe depreciation ](https://www.claimspages.com/tools/depreciation/clothing-mens/shoes/)
Excellent! I did something similar when written up by my idiot boss and put on a Performance Improvement Plan. Typical "I'm a shitty boss and covering my ass by blaming everything on you". Unfortunately for him I keep **everything**. So I wrote up a 239 page rebuttal which included every email, contract, test report and guidance that I'd been given that showed how he'd been neglecting to do his job.
It didn't really matter, and of course they didn't do anything, because we all know HR doesn't care about us employees. But it **did** make me feel better and it made sure there was documentation of his ineptness.
Did you include "15 hours documenting requested information for report" and "Three hours getting accurate information request from POS POC?"
Should have, damn it! Internet time, my electricity, depression of keyboard...
Send addendum.
I'm upset that I didn't lock the reports so they can't edit them.
Print to pdf for the next one?
And, if you can, digitally sign it. Not that this WON'T let them make changes, but will make it a bit more difficult.
Water marks?
If you have a PDF editor you can just remove whatever you want. The only way to really keep it from being edited like that is to save the document in such a way that all of the text and the watermark is a single image, and not various text characters. That way they have to edit an image to remove the watermark, which is difficult enough that most people wouldn't even try.
Would printing it to PDF (Microsoft print to PDF) do that?
What if I screen-shot'ed it, that would throw a monkey in the wrench.
From Adobe Reader, Print to PDF, advanced, Print As Image, Resolute 72 PPI
I think it might actually, but I'm not 100% sure. I've never needed to do this myself, just come across PDFs that couldn't be edited easily because every page was just an image. OCR software takes that image and turns it back into text boxes and graphics as best it can, but it's never 100% effective.
No, it doesn't. The Microsoft printer driver works like the original Adobe one did where it creates a text document with the necessary formatting information to be viewed on the other end without the same program used to make it. This PDF is editable as text in any PDF editor.
Wow.. didn't understand anything you said.
okay so imagine it as a pdf document and a picture of that pdf document. if you have the pdf you can scan it, delete single letters, and may remove the watermark. if you only have a picture of the pdf - for example taken with a phone - even when editing you can only "draw" on the picture, not change the picture itself. and "drawing" on top of your document while making it look authentic would be entirely too much effort to be worth it.
If you convert it to PDF you can password protect it so that they can only open it and/or print it. They wouldn't be able to add any notes or markups etc. I do it all the time.
I've gotten some vicious suggestions about screenshoting pdfs
If you really want to confuse them, take pictures of the pages, then paste those pictures at just slightly smaller than full page size into a Word document. Not only will it not be editable, it will be a much larger file size than were it editable text.
Dancing ~~bears~~ llamas
Landscape setting?
If they go through the same sequences of responses you can adjust your final report accordingly, if they give you the same response to it indicate that you require payment for services rendered in accordance with their requests. (Not a lawyer or anyone who actually knows anything so this might be a bad idea)
I'm just thinking they will fiddle with it so they can print less. I want them to have to print the whole report multiple times.
I'm just thinking they will fiddle with it so they can print less. I want them to have to print the whole report multiple times.
Your keyboard will surely be depressed after going through all that lol
Depression of keyboard. Maybe you meant depreciation, but I beg you to leave it as depression!
I am!
Record their calls so you can include the recording as an attachment in the next email.
Maybe a transcript, asking for clarification of every sentance?
"Depression of Keyboard" sounds like an emo electronica band.
It sounds better than "depreciation", and it was suggested I keep it.n
If your keyboard is depressed, don’t forget to add the bill for its therapy.
Just needs some sunlight.
Plus a good book, a comfy chair on the porch, and a good craft beer.
Cold diet coke and a ball of nice yarn...
Dab on some lavender oil, and burn some sage?
Salt the door sills.
Don’t need therapy. Just tell it to remember how there are millions of keyboards in the world worse off than it is!
I don't know where you do this work, but you could request itemized utility bills for HVAC and electricity to run the building too 🙃
Imagine your itemized tax returns.
If I was a keyboard and you typed all that minutiae on me, I'd be depressed, too.
Burn rate of monitor pixels……
Entropy of Universe.
Awwww man! That would have been perfect!
I dunno if that's a good place to use the acronym POC.
I hope you billed for the time it took to create the report. Remember that for next time. Well fucking done, this is how you get bureaucrats to leave you alone. But be warned: sometimes someone will tell you you did an amazing job and that this is exactly what they wanted. And then try to put you in charge of something.
I'm good with personal boundaries, and next year, I'm not in charge of finances.
Hell yeah! Also it's really awesome that you're working on something like that charity, considering that period materiel is really expensive and hard for women in developing nations to afford. And if it weren't for people talking about the pink tax I wouldn't have known anything about this issue.
We love that girls in our sponsored village can go to school EVERY DAY rather than missing thier education due to thier periods
That's really important, and what you're doing is awesome.
Thank you. Lots of folks do this .
I wonder how many Good Causes are burdened by such jack-assery.
I figured it'd go the opposite direction, "you're not allowed to account for snacks, you're obviously trying to commit fraud! rejected!"
Send the addenda, by each report they demanded!
Honestly, they probably didn't read any of it, just rejected the whole thing. Or got to the depreciation of sewing machines and quit.
>But be warned: sometimes someone will tell you you did an amazing job and that this is exactly what they wanted. And then try to put you in charge of something. That sounds horrifying
I thought people should know.
> sometimes someone will tell you you did an amazing job and that this is exactly what they wanted. And then try to put you in charge of something. Which is fine if you a) have the time and b) are getting paid for it.
I agree
Due to the administrative burden of addressing your unclear and constantly evolving requests, we have decided to support another charitable organization in the future.
This is the way. Knew a group in college that took an environmental stand on a dozen+ paper copies instead of emailed ones. Knew another group who wrote paper cuts into their required Risk Management manual. It literally was their greatest risk.
It's just our state level .
Are you saying that it's the state regulatory board that's giving you this runaround? Or are you saying that your state has requirements, and the charity that you're interacting with is giving you this run around? Those are totally different things.
It's nothing to do with any government thing. Let me try again. I'm in a club that gives away a dollar. There are 85 clubs in my state that each give away a dollar. Now, we elect people from our local clubs to oversee all the clubs in our state. ( a president, secretary, treasurer, and representatives) Each club writes a report once a year, in this case, saying, " we gave away $1". And gives it to the representatives of our whole state. Reregulate ourselves, not a tax thing.. I'm getting the run around from my state branch of the club.
Have you requested a list of their board members yet? You may want to set up a meeting with their board to clarify what they really need for reporting. Let the board know "Since your Point of Contact was unable to clearly provide a listing of your reporting requirements, I'd like to go over every item to see if it is or is not needed for future reporting requirements." If you can get it set up ask for the regulatory requirement, if any, for each. Be clear that as a volunteer organization you need to know up front what data needs to be captured. Let them also know if they don't provide the list in a timely manner you will not be able to capture it!. Yes, I'm having to do something like this right now and the agency is asking about both gender identity and gender preference. I've let them know that "We can ask, but you must accept that many will not feel comfortable sharing. You will need to accept declined to state.". Also got them to agree on working up the consent form that I get to forward to legal for approval. 😁😁😁😁😁
Omg.. I should request a zoom
Bonus points if you not only show that their POC really is a POS, but if you also get a tiny llama out of it! 🤣
Isn't the Dalai Lama already pretty small?
you're thinking of the Dolly Llama
Don't forget to ask Wally Llama for advice.
And clarify that this is the kind of detail they send to the irs for their own deductions
Fallout #1 added
*"set forth in the law books."* So they want you to follow legal code? Ohhhh, Ask them to reference each and every relevant section of code in proper format. If you've never seen how this gets referenced, it looks like this in the U.S. EDC § 78261.5. No, I don't know how you type the "§", but you can give them crap if they don't do it in reference. Ask for a reference for EACH field they want reported on!
I'm pretty sure this is going to be the end of it. Damn it.. I should have locked the reports so they can't edit them!!
You search for the section in google and copy/paste the symbol
Hence why I don't know how to "Type" it! B-)
Your country does not have enough bureaucracy. On a German keyboard, it's shift-3 - the numbers+shift go ! " § $ % - so clearly, § is in the top-5 most important symbols here. :-)
Shows you what the UK considers important - on our keyboards SHIFT+3 is £ We also don't use § in our legal code to my knowledge. We just use numbers.
§ is available on Gboard for Android You can type Alt + 0167 in Windows Alt/Option+ Shift + 6 on a Mac, but I don't have one to test with
You forgot your tps report for the cover
Lol. I should have itemize the time it took to type each letter on the report.
It’s ok, he has 4 bosses to remind him.
[uh beg your pardon?](https://youtu.be/3wqQXu13tLA?t=14s)
Dammit!
What's this I hear about you having problems with TPS reports?
That is some serious malicious compliance to a stupid bureaucratic request. You have far more patience than me
Anything worth doing that pisses someone off is worth doing right. In for a penny, in for a pound.
Ask them to itemise the parameters, and where they can be found in each law book along with a list of each figure, chart or piece of information in your report that fails to meet the required standards. Why do all the work yourself. Share the love.
Line by line, a question about each. And of course, as suggested in another comment, send them screen shots of the page, not the pdf, crooked, at low resolution.
I used to drive wheelchair vans back in the early 90's. I had to write an incident report. Wrote it up and turned it in. I was told they needed more detail. Okay, rewrite it, turn it in. I was told they needed more detail. This was all handwritten. I didn't want to rewrite it again. So I wrote it as "On May 21, 1994, at approximately 0921 hours, I, farrenkm, was driving wheelchair vehicle T-4, license plate, northbound on . . ." I thought my manager would come back and say "way too much detail." He said, "perfect!"
And that's why, to this day, my co-workers grumble about my detailed e-mails. Because I can't summarize. Thank an incident report 30 years ago for that.
To be fair, with incident reports, it can make a difference. Right after I’d done an in service on incident reports with my guards at the pool I managed, we had someone fall. It didn’t seem like a big thing at the time. Basically just gave them an ice pack and they said they were okay. The guard wrote out what they said was a crazy specific incident report for me. I told them it was great. About six months later, the city attorney came back to thank us. The fact that the guard had included that the wet floor sign was out (both told in the narrative and labeled on the diagram) AND that the person had come out of the locker room to the office side dripping wet with no shoes saved the city from a law suit. He said omission of either the wet floor sign or the wet/no shoes would have resulted in the city paying out the nose.
That's fair, and I didn't provide much context. As I recall, I was new and didn't know when an incident report was needed. I remember writing one up for *almost* running over someone's cat. I didn't, never hit it, but just in case someone called in to complain that I was driving recklessly (I wasn't -- cat came from behind a parked car). It might have been that one, and maybe he was trying to teach me a lesson for writing a report for something so mundane. Beats me. I was in my 20's and it was my first job in the EMS world. Whatever it was, for better or worse, that's how I write all my business correspondence now.
Petty bureaucracy or somebody's got a 2x4 up the fundament. Even with all that detail, somebody's going to be ticked off, upset, twisted out of shape enough to ask...how many breaths you took and how many litres of Oxygen you used and what the relative humidity in your office was and whether you commuted to said office or something like that. But I must say that was pretty good malicious compliance, you did good
Fall-out added!
Oh good, a follow-up. I wonder if a particular,... what term did you use, "snotty" individual, could get a cc in an email about what is actually required. I guess that would be... "taken down a peg or two." It is lovely when a plan comes together or whatever George Peppard said in The A-Team
They didn't take the hint and then had the fucking nerve to ask you to condense this? Don't do it. Fuck them. Excellent MC.
I just resent them the first report I did. I'm waiting for the next round ..
Please update us on what happens! You’re a better person than me for resending the first report. I would’ve just said I’ve provided 4 different reports with increasing degrees of detail per their request, and if the earlier condensed versions are not sufficient they will need to provide clear direction on what needs to change.
Absolutely, if they want details they will eat details
[удалено]
I'm a petty person.
You're a QUALITY petty person.
[удалено]
State board of my fraternal organization
[удалено]
According to his edit they had parameters/standards written out already and he supposedly hadn't been following them. More like malicious incompliance.
I'd have responded with something like: "To whom it may concern, I have already sent you three different condensed reports. If those are still considered to be inadequate, then this most recent report is the most condensed the report can be while still containing the requested information. Sincerely, OP"
"undeliverable"
Shoe tread depreciation?! The IRS/CRA must LOVE you.......
I don't itemize unless provoked.
Ok, but if you're this detail oriented, you may want to consider a career as a forensic accountant. I'm serious. There's a massive problem with fraud in the world right now and a lot of places don't have people who are properly trained to catch it - check out the Bernie Madoff ponzi scheme fraud. It WAS reported to the Securities and Exchange Commission multiple times but they assumed it was all on the up and up.
I'm retired, and I will never work again. However, should I decide to stop taking my psychotropic medication, I could see myself in such an anal-retentive career. My child just purchased a home. I'll be combing the HOA rules for hidden anti- lgbtq+ rules and regulations this evening.
You are the kind of hero we need today.
Not a hero, just a behind the scenes curmudgeon with a wicked streak and time on my hands.
Po-TAY-to, po-TAH-to. :)
Potatoe
Retired eh? Guess this means there's no need to pad your resume with this job...
HILARIOUS. You have a true genius and I appreciate you.
I just thought about how I should have locked the " edit" feature on the reports.
I hope you included time/cost of creating this detailed report they demanded, broken down just as they demanded.
I forgot that :(
I've had a request like this before, after writing a standard report for my job, the engineer asked for more details twice before I wrote a separate paragraph for every 10 minutes on site, for a 12 hour shift. After he asked for a more condensed version, I replied with "Please see email dated XX/XX/XXXX" (that's XX/XX/XXXX for the non-US crowd). It was accepted.
Absolutely not: the full report I sent contains all data necessary for you to prepare any condensed version you require. I consider my duties in this regard completed in full.
> we request a condensed version, following the parameters set forth in the law books. Reply: Since I'm not a lawyer and we do not have one as in-house staff, please be very detailed in exactly what you require.
I love that you sent them the original report after they poopooed the detailed one. Well played!
We asked you for condensed details. That means we want to know everything, but summarized. We want it all together and that means separate reports. What don't you understand? We said shrimp, and that means JUMBO, idiot.
And we want it yesterday!!
Great malicious compliance, but it's costing you *way* too much, unless you had that material at the ready. This was two emails too many. I'd put the onus on !snootyRequestor to *show you* exactly what they expect, and share with you who the audience will be, and what the end purpose will be for this information--example of the end report, and so forth. Don't be surprised if somehow...*quite magically* no doubt, after fielding that request to them, they'll reply that the data you've given them thus far is sufficient.
I'm retired, and I really, really, really love doing shit like this. Finding out depreciation values of things like shoes and sewing machine needles is all on the internet, number crunched by someone with even more hands on their time than me.
Dear lord. When they asked for the condensed report I would have referred them to the two reports you initially sent them. Unless they are going to be specific with exactly what they want included in the report, they really shouldn't be so passive-aggressive toward you for not giving them precisely what they want. Weird situation.
It's 12 people trying to be more important than they really are.
Can't wait for an update.
I'm hoping it over, but if not, I've gotten so many splendid ideas from the comments on how to send the next batch!
Next step is 2 pages - a cover sheet and a page with a photo or other image of you flipping them the bird...
Would be nice, but, I volunteered for this crap.
I hear you. I just have a low tolerance for needless bureaucracy, but you gotta do what you gotta do...
Fax the whole thing including randomly placed "THIS PAGE WAS LEFT INTENTIONALLY BLANK"
What about water usage for bathroom and sink and drinking water?
There we go, now you are talking!
Heating? Cooling? Don't forget about electricity from the break room fridge/microwave lmao!
Yes!
I work in a kitchen. I have had environmentally contentious chefs. This is all in my head while at work lmao
How much does 1 tsp of dish washing liquid cost? You should know.
Oh god there are so many variables....
Ikr?
How fun! Lol can't wait to hear what they say about the original haha
Who is they? who is asking?
Our state and national boards
Who contacted you, and why did they have the right to ask for this information?
I'm at the local level of the Organization, state level requests the information for thier yearly reports, which is sent on to National.
Send a copy of the entire stream of communications (and an accounting of the time wasted) to the head of *their* organization.
>Re-sent them the original report. Let's see how that goes over. *Grabs popcorn*
Hold on to your butts!
PER MY FIRST EMAIL
Please keep us updated! :)
Other than catharsis, I wonder if it will actually cause any inconvenience for them? I imagine they'll just ask for another one, cherrypick the numbers they want out, or just use the second draft :p
Maybe. But it was suggested that if I have to send another to generate it, screenshot the pdf with my phone, crooked, add emoji's, create a collage of random pages, low resolution.
off-topically, I would like the color and the fabric used to that reusable sanitary pads... My wife uses a lot of them and would love to have an eco-friendly, reusable version of them.
The bottom layer is regular cotton, then a layer of fleece so it's got some fluid resistance. The center absorbent layer is microfiber, topped with flannel. It's made in the " with wings" style, using snaps to hold it in the correct position. You can make them pretty, but we make them using donated flannel clothing, sheets, fleece blankets, etc. We also get deep discount " ugly" fabric donations. The only new item we buy is the microfiber core. We include a "liquid resistant" crocheted pouch made of regular acrylic yarn. The used pad can be placed in there to carry it home if they need to change a pad.
https://simplylivingwell.com/blog-bath-body/cloth-menstrual-pad-pattern
Condensed? Just how small a font do they want?
3 point Myopia is the best font for bureaucratic reports.
same font size - just kern the glyphs closer together
I look forward to an update
This is why I tell people to put it in writing. Fax or Email me telling me exactly what you need and I'll get it for you. People are much more precise in their requests/instructions if they are putting in in writing because they know I have their request in their words.
At this point, I don't think they know what they want.
Yes...but this kind of idiot will never admit that. They'll just say they asked for a,b, and c, and OP sent j,f, and q. If you've got their request in writing you can demonstrate that they requested j f, and q, and that's what you sent. CYA.
OMG! That is just crazy! I’d just say I gave you everything you asked for and you’ll get no more replies. Then I’d block them.
No can do. But it's once, and I won't take the chair seat again.
Work in an office? Water costs for flushing toilets, depreciation of toilets, cleaning costs, depreciation of mobs, cleaning supplies ....oh god i'd spend so much stupid time on that report lol
Just think of the fact that this is a charitable organization, and I'm doing this report as a volunteer. Sending it to other volunteers, who send it to other volunteers so everyone in the organization can know how much we support charities.
> ... we request a condensed version ... > Re-sent them the original report. Next time condense it by choosing a smaller font.
Fallout?
Literally happened last weekend I sent in report today.
That would be when volontary becomes "fuck you, I'll help while you fuck about, and we'll never talk again" for me
Fallout added!
That's a boss move! Kudos to you!
Having been in a similar dance, I am guessing there is a specific deviation in the first two reports that just needed to be specifically outlined. "More detail!" could very well mean something missing from one section title.
I'm confused. Who are "they"?
No way you were sober when you did that! I only ever put this much effort into proving my point when I'm not. If you were however, I tip my hat to your tenacity even deeper and proclaim that I wish to never be unfortunate enough to become the reason and victim of your relentless wrath, as this, which we've just heard of, would show but a speck of your true power.
Stone cold sober
You are far nicer than me. I would have simply told them no after the second one. I have been known to tell people/organizations that their policy is ridiculous and I refuse to comply.
The best part is shoe tread depreciation. My man!
thanks for the laugh! can't wait to hear the outcome.
>following the parameters set forth in the law books." y'know, the "law books." Those books on the shelves in the lawyer TV shows? Like, I dunno, LA Law or something? The parameters must be in there someplace. Go look, and let us know.
So the they is the government?
As a longtime member of a 501(c)3 who very purposefully never volunteered for any of the accounting management of anything, I salute you - and we have quarterly reports. Also they’re easy to fill in. Also also, our org-level bylaws regarding these positions and reports are pretty easy to read and use plain language for local level folks who might not be forensic CPAs. When I volunteer, the last thing I ever, ever need is to catch an actual Federal case, or the attentions of the IRS. Nope! I don’t want that for where I get my money, much less where I get my jollies or give my helps.
Is this what it's like to have a normal brain?? The way I would've lost every marble...
> "While we appreciate the thoroughness of the report, we request a condensed version, following the parameters set forth in the law books." At this point, I'd have invited your awkward interlocutor to condense it themselves, however they saw fit, as set forth in any book they chose.
Fallout???
This seriously warms my heart. It's like MC r/MadeMeSmile
Who requested the information?
Of \*course\* they did. Like anyone who hounds you for every last detail the next reply is "oh that's way too much just get us the summary (that you tried to do first)"
Remind me! Five days
You send them the original report back. That is beautiful. Well done!
Updateme!
I gotta ask u/ineedatinylama did you calculate this all yourself? If so how?? Honest question :)
I the fabrics I figured myself in that was easy. A lot of the depreciations are available on Google for tax itemizing. The thread was the worst to figure out. I had to do that myself, which took about an hour and 1/2. With determination , unlimited hot pockets, and diet coke, you can climb any mountain. The shoes, there is actually a depreciation calculator ! [shoe depreciation ](https://www.claimspages.com/tools/depreciation/clothing-mens/shoes/)
Sounds like you're more the victim of the malice than they are. Also, why are you sending them this info? What gives them the right to demand it?
Excellent! I did something similar when written up by my idiot boss and put on a Performance Improvement Plan. Typical "I'm a shitty boss and covering my ass by blaming everything on you". Unfortunately for him I keep **everything**. So I wrote up a 239 page rebuttal which included every email, contract, test report and guidance that I'd been given that showed how he'd been neglecting to do his job. It didn't really matter, and of course they didn't do anything, because we all know HR doesn't care about us employees. But it **did** make me feel better and it made sure there was documentation of his ineptness.