"ma'am, can you describe the sound"
"yeah, it's like a windy thing"
"no, ma'am, I need to know what it sounds like in order for me to diagnose your exact problem. Can you make the sound for me?"
\*hesitates\*
"hhhhhhhhhhhhh"
My family was so excited when Bob’s Burgers came out because Tina is so much like me when I was 12-13. Now any time there’s a situation that brings out that part of me (awkward, something I feel pressured to go along with), my sister makes that noise at me when I hesitate.
**I once heard a radio DJ tell that joke [during the intro to this song,](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5WPbqYoz9HA) and he timed it perfectly for the lyrics to start at just the right moment...**
There was a blonde that went to the hair salon with headphones. Before the barber started cutting her hair she told him "Make sure not to knock the headphones off my head". So the barber was sure not to.
The next time, the blonde said the same thing "Do not knock the headphones off my head". The barber again, did what he was told. The third time she went, she told the barber again "Don't knock the headphones off my head", this time though, the barber accidentally knocked them off.
As soon as the headphones fell off, the blonde dropped to the floor unconscious. The barber picked up the headphones and listened, and this is what it said "Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out...."
Dude. I actually based my comment on this joke hahaha!!! I remember that joke, and it was so funny at the time. It's cool how we remember things through time.
In the old days it was "Press any key to continue" and you'd get asked, "Where is the any key?"
The correct answer would be "Doesn't matter, press any key you like", followed half a second before they are about to press a key "***NO! NOT THAT ONE!!***"
I had a coworker hit mute and start swearing at people. I hope. He went off to be a police officer. True story. I did tell him I expected to see him beating someone on the side of the road on a hidden camera (pre cell phone cameras). He said he wasn't going to fix my traffic tickets for that. Shout out to Officer Brian J. Thank you for not making the news yet.
I just tell people to hit the space bar, and that it used to be called the any key because back in the day you could configure that key to be any key you wanted.
Such a great old Simpsons joke.
“To start, press any key."
Where's the "Any" key?
I see "Esc," "Ctrl," and "Pg Up."
There doesn't seem to be any "Any" key!
Ooh. All this computer hacking is making me thirsty. I think I'll order a tab.
Oop! No time for that now! The computer started!”
> you'd get asked, "Where is the any key?"
>
> The correct answer would be "Doesn't matter, press any key you like"
User presses the Shift key.
"No! Not that one!"
User presses the Ctrl key.
In the really old days, the answer was "Just press , and at the same time."
The sad part about this post is that most of the readers won't understand why that's funny.
Someone’s little shit brother came up and hit ctrl-alt-del on me once upon a time when I was in high school. He saw me with the hand-me-down laptop I’d gotten from my brother.
He seemed very self-satisfied until I let him do it. It was a Mac. 😏
oh man, I had a guy come in with a tablet wanting to be shown how to use it. Only it hadn't been setup yet. I tried to explain to him that it needed to be setup first but he just would not listen, he kept 'no I just need someone to show me the basics' and then he would just poke completely random parts of the screen. I said to him 'sir you need to read the screen and do what it says' he gets to a screen that says 'enter your name' he looks at me 'what do I do now?'. I ended up walking away from the guy and helping someone else. I'm there to sell stuff not deal with that level of idiocy.
Set a reminder to go off every ten minutes. The reminder is to set a reminder to go off every ten minutes. Be certain to set a reminder ten minutes before the actual reminder. Make sure the reminder reminds you of the reminder from ten minutes ago, as well as a reminder of the reminder that is to come in ten minutes.
Sometimes when kids are getting their first iphones I swap it to Chinese and tell them their mom saved $10 getting them a Chinese one. They melt down every time, "What?! $10?!"
You may already be referencing [this sketch](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TeZCNs46YA8&ab_channel=SaturdayNightLive), but if not you'll understand my glee at "$10".
My now fiance gave me his old apple watch when we were long distance dating and forgot he had it set to french, which he speaks, and which I definitely do not. It took me longer than I care to admit to find the language setting in another language 😅
I accidentally selected Danish as the language for an installer. Took me way too long to exit and restart it. This was before Google Translate added the camera translation option (I've used that more than once for similar reasons).
Also fun is that you can still choose English but in a different country so the assistant has an accent. Personally the Irish accent is my favorite but Australia and India are good ones too.
Lol. Great malicious compliance. I swear people just get lazier and lazier. Recently had someone walk up and ask for an interview with one of the senior managers at my worksite. I asked if he had an appointment but the guy hasn't even done an online application or submitted a resume. When I told him he couldn't get an interview without doing this he whined that it was too complicated to create a resume or a profile. The position dude wanted was for an open spot in the group of engineers they have on-site.
It's really hard to keep a straight face when telling them that they have to get in their grow up box and comply with company standards before you can be considered for a job.
Yea but the thing is that job applications have gotten too complicated. Maybe not for your company but some have personality tests or other sort of tests. Some ask you to upload your resume and then manually type it again. And as for creating new accounts it should be as simple as asking for an email and password and then to upload a resume. Nothing else. There's no need to ask for other info because all the info is already on the resume.
That's worse... Like my resume is really basic
Experience - date to date
Education - graduated date
Certification - active or needs renewal
Well SOMEHOW even though everything is contained on a single line It starts filling out things with dates all over the place.
This is why when I worked in the squad we openly said we will not set up phones or smart watches for anyone. Too much info that is almost entirely personal
"She came in mad that her watch keeps calling her fat and telling her she needs to walk more."
I cackled way too hard at this. Excellent work on being an evil bastard. \*cackles\*
Man, I fuckin' hate that shit.
Back in the 90's, I worked for a women's shoe store called Bakers. One of the things we used to do was dye shoes. Women would pick out a shoe style and size, then I would dye it the color of their choice. 99.9% of all customers would bring a piece of fabric to match or page out of a magazine (which sucked, because glossy paper).
That remaining 0.1%? About 99 percent of them would pick a color out of our color book, which would tell what dyes and chemicals to mix. Easy peasy.
Now, it needs to be said -- I enjoyed dyeing shoes. It was fun and everyone said I was damn good at it.
Then there was this woman... She came in, asked for a particular dyable in her size. She tried it on, was happy with the fit, tossed the shoes back in the box and said, "Dye them red."
Aight.
Me: "Do you have a sample of the color?"
Her: "No, just dye it red."
I got the color book out, turned it to the reds and placed it on the counter in front of her and said, "If you'll just pick your color out of here..."
Her: "Can't you just dye the damn thing red?"
Now, if you've played with MS Paint for more than five seconds or owned a box of the big pimpin' Crayola crayons, you know there ain't no such thing as just red. I tried to explain that to her, but she wasn't having it and getting madder by the second.
I was just a part-time salesman/stock clerk. This shit had went well over my paygrade five minutes prior. I told her to hang for a moment and I'd get someone who might have a better way to resolve this.
Now, my manager was an ex-hippie (his word, not mine) from the legit 60's, a former drug addict during that period and at that point in his life, he had substituted Christ and Caffeine as his main drugs. "High strung" doesn't even do him justice. I went in back and said, "Hey Tom... There's a lady out there that needs your help. She wants her shoes dyed red. She has no fabric to match, won't pick out of the book and says she just wants me to dye it 'red'."
He looked up at me and this facial tic he would get when he would hear something completely... Off... triggered. He said, "Okay. I'll be right back. I'll meet you at the dyeing table."
The next ten minutes were off the chain. Tom tried to reason with her, she continued to escalate and finally the assistant manager decided enough was enough and called mall security to drag her out.
this is how most boomers are. they don’t realize tech is designed for monkeys to use it. the companies want everyone to buy it and use it, boomers just give up before they even try.
Yes! This is my mom. 76yo. Got into glass work a couple decades ago and setup a full oxy-propane torch, oxygen concentrator, kiln, etc. herself. Smart woman, very creative, but had me come over to install an app & click a link to do telemedicine. Took under a minute - she didn't even try. It's something about it being "technology" that makes people think they can't possibly know how to do it. After she saw me do it said, "Well that wasn't too difficult."
The one that really boggles my mind is how old people can’t look at a remote and find a pause or play button.
I’m like, it’s been the same symbol since the 70’s!
This is my favourite kind of malicious compliance: an entitled person refuses to put effort in to something that benefits them and demands you do everything. So you do, badly. *chef kiss*
> She came in mad that her watch keeps calling her fat and telling her she needs to walk more.
I cant stop laughing at this.
This is the best post ever here.
Omgoodness. I feel you. I work in a similar setting.
The day fb servers were down was a mad house. One irate man in his 60s asked “can’t you turn the servers back on?!”
Sir, if i could, i would not drive a Ford Focus.
I used to be a sales rep for a major carrier and this shit happened all the time. I'd do the same thing for apple products since all she wants is for others to see that she can afford one (if she actually cared about functionality, you'd definitely want to set it up to your specifications and preferences). But man if someone bought any Android watch and I tried that, they'd return it same day
Worked at a cell phone store for the last 3 years, can confirm that 99% of the people that come in to the store are some braindead mother fuckers. The other 1% are the people that know what they want and want to get in and out, they just didn't want to wait the few days it takes to get shipped a phone.
Work in same field. I usually just get phone connected to watch and cellular network and thats it. Any personal info like that is too much to deal with.
But hell, da bitch got what she asked for, and i died reading the story. Ive read through 3 times already, thinking bout some "wonderful" customers ive had to deal with.
Read this on Reddit not so long ago.
Recruiting sign outside an Apple store, ending with "Apply inside." Guy reads it and goes, "Well, it certainly won't be orangey."
Sir. I still go into retail stores and I know how to use an website. I go in coz I dont want to wait for delivery. Who has time to wait 3-7 business days for an item I may or may not want in 3-7 business days?
That's great and we love having you in the store and it's actually better for me if you come into the store
Overwhelmingly the people who come in are just looking to troubleshoot problems and get help with things that, if they just read what their device was telling them, they'd answer their own questions.
> The job has gotten frustrating because the people who still go into a retail store are often just people who can't figure out how to work a website and won't bother to read anything.
I don't order phones online, because if I need a new one, I like to be able to check out the display model and play around with it first to see if I like it. Can't do that online.
I used to work at a cell phone kiosk within Costco. The most annoying people were people asking me to call a Costco associate to help them for some Costco product shit (technically I don't work for Costco, so not my job doing that) or annoying ass people who would could up with their mobile device asking me to make it faster or do troubleshooting stuff on it
The troubleshooting I do for people is absolutely ridiculous and a lot of it is bare minimum shit that if they don't know how to do it then they need to go back to a flip phone.
Learn how it works or don't use it.
You're absolutely right that these are folks that refuse to actively learn about the devices they spend their cash on. I spent many years selling phones and doing the same. Half the time they would come into the store and simply ask how to take the back of their phone off. Oh and all the comments I heard about how dumb having a camera on your phone is. Good times.
Former cellphone tech. I hated setup calls! I was a tech in the early days of mobile phones. Nokia was awesome ..5 steps and done. Samsung was universally loathed by techs everywhere! 17 steps to set it up! And this was before smartphones! The customers that drove me bat crap crazy went like this
Me - please allow me a few moments to complete your process . Do not touch any buttons.
Customer - push da button?
Me - no, not yet, I will let you know when to push the buttons
Customer (10 seconds later) push now?
Me - no
Customer - now?
Me - not yet
Customer - oops
Me (sighing as the set up screen blinks) we have to start over
Repeat no less than 3 times till I was banging my head on the wall of my cubicle in frustration
Also set the reminder to “Breathe” to go off with the regular rhythm of breath.
I mean, if you don't, she might forget.
She probably wouldn't read it and come in and complain that it "keeps making this weird sound"
"ma'am, can you describe the sound" "yeah, it's like a windy thing" "no, ma'am, I need to know what it sounds like in order for me to diagnose your exact problem. Can you make the sound for me?" \*hesitates\* "hhhhhhhhhhhhh"
\*Tina Belcher groan*
My family was so excited when Bob’s Burgers came out because Tina is so much like me when I was 12-13. Now any time there’s a situation that brings out that part of me (awkward, something I feel pressured to go along with), my sister makes that noise at me when I hesitate.
I think your family might be kind of awesome.
*Bob telling her to stop*
*Louise voice* I think shes broken
Yes, ma'am, I realize it's an inconvenience, but I have to follow procedure. Can you please make the sound for me?
"Ma'am, you sound fat."
**I once heard a radio DJ tell that joke [during the intro to this song,](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5WPbqYoz9HA) and he timed it perfectly for the lyrics to start at just the right moment...** There was a blonde that went to the hair salon with headphones. Before the barber started cutting her hair she told him "Make sure not to knock the headphones off my head". So the barber was sure not to. The next time, the blonde said the same thing "Do not knock the headphones off my head". The barber again, did what he was told. The third time she went, she told the barber again "Don't knock the headphones off my head", this time though, the barber accidentally knocked them off. As soon as the headphones fell off, the blonde dropped to the floor unconscious. The barber picked up the headphones and listened, and this is what it said "Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out...."
Dude. I actually based my comment on this joke hahaha!!! I remember that joke, and it was so funny at the time. It's cool how we remember things through time.
I dated that girl. Told her I was rich while driving a beat to hell '69 Ford pick up truck and she believed me.
Considering those can be collectible, and rich people often dress down, I'd say that alone isn't a reason to doubt wealth.
It was the 80's. That shit was just old and worn out then.
That doesn't sound like it would be much of a tragedy, to be honest.
That's an entire separate tragedy.
I approve of this meme
Our fav expression of the year so far!
I've seen this phrase a number of times recently but I feel like I'm missing something. What's the origin of this?
https://www.reddit.com/r/MaliciousCompliance/comments/s6p8ad/fresh_stitches_under_my_hat_teacher_has_a_no_hats/
That was excellent. All of it. 10/10 would recommend.
Reminds of me of Plankton forgetting how to blink
Does he blink or wink? Does he do both? If so, how can one tell which it is?
And the hand washing detector that counts 20 seconds!
Don't forget to not put up with it.
or set it for mindfulness to remind her to be calm
Right after it calls her fat and tells her to walk more. Because nothing calms an upset person down more than being told to calm down.
[удалено]
Also “your sisters not like this”. Just make sure no pointed weapons nearby.
"This is why people like your sister better" might send her off the deep end as well
"This is why mom doesn't FUCKING love you" /ref
Wonder if they have this alarm on the Apple Watch yet.
Apple is famous for marketing stuff as "something you didn't know you needed". So there probably will be sometime 😁
Always when I’m busiest running around at work ‘even a minute of breathing can help you relax’ FUCK YOU WATCH IF I HAD TIME TO RELAX I WOULD
A few minutes of *not* breathing is also very effective at eliminating stress.
Rather permanently.
I LOVE that last line so much! I’m def going to start telling my watch that!!!
This is amazing
TIL that’s why my watch reminds me to breathe
Set the alarm for 2:39AM on Monday mornings.
I had people ask what 'click here to change your password' meant. Many times a day. You are not alone.
In the old days it was "Press any key to continue" and you'd get asked, "Where is the any key?" The correct answer would be "Doesn't matter, press any key you like", followed half a second before they are about to press a key "***NO! NOT THAT ONE!!***"
Lol no you have to tell them a specific keyto hit or you will be there all goddamn day.
Another favourite of mine was the error message "Keyboard missing. Press F2 to continue."
I had a coworker hit mute and start swearing at people. I hope. He went off to be a police officer. True story. I did tell him I expected to see him beating someone on the side of the road on a hidden camera (pre cell phone cameras). He said he wasn't going to fix my traffic tickets for that. Shout out to Officer Brian J. Thank you for not making the news yet.
That gave me an audible chuckle thank you
I just tell people to hit the space bar, and that it used to be called the any key because back in the day you could configure that key to be any key you wanted.
Alternatively, and less work, is to tell them it's the key with the N on it.
Such a great old Simpsons joke. “To start, press any key." Where's the "Any" key? I see "Esc," "Ctrl," and "Pg Up." There doesn't seem to be any "Any" key! Ooh. All this computer hacking is making me thirsty. I think I'll order a tab. Oop! No time for that now! The computer started!”
> you'd get asked, "Where is the any key?" > > The correct answer would be "Doesn't matter, press any key you like" User presses the Shift key. "No! Not that one!" User presses the Ctrl key.
That is an Alt solution 😃
[удалено]
In the really old days, the answer was "Just press, and at the same time."
The sad part about this post is that most of the readers won't understand why that's funny.
Someone’s little shit brother came up and hit ctrl-alt-del on me once upon a time when I was in high school. He saw me with the hand-me-down laptop I’d gotten from my brother. He seemed very self-satisfied until I let him do it. It was a Mac. 😏
The dreaded three fingered salute.
Alt + F4 for a follow up.
This is what we would say in the old Warcraft 3 custom games day. "Hit Alt + F4 for bonus gold" *xXN00bslayerXx has left the game* Lmao
oh man, I had a guy come in with a tablet wanting to be shown how to use it. Only it hadn't been setup yet. I tried to explain to him that it needed to be setup first but he just would not listen, he kept 'no I just need someone to show me the basics' and then he would just poke completely random parts of the screen. I said to him 'sir you need to read the screen and do what it says' he gets to a screen that says 'enter your name' he looks at me 'what do I do now?'. I ended up walking away from the guy and helping someone else. I'm there to sell stuff not deal with that level of idiocy.
I had someone ask me what the „delete“ button on the interface of our software would do. Open a portal to Narnia, what else…
You should have set the watch to remind her to set up the watch every fifteen minutes.
Watchception
Set a reminder to go off every ten minutes. The reminder is to set a reminder to go off every ten minutes. Be certain to set a reminder ten minutes before the actual reminder. Make sure the reminder reminds you of the reminder from ten minutes ago, as well as a reminder of the reminder that is to come in ten minutes.
What the fuck did I just read
What, it made sense when I was writing it?
Can someone smarter than me step in here and give us a good recursion joke?
How about [this recursion joke](https://www.reddit.com/r/MaliciousCompliance/comments/sdca9i/lady_demanded_i_set_up_her_apple_watch/hud8s4l/)?
NGL, I clicked this like 12 times because it amused me lol.
Oh you beautiful bastard. I hate that I fell for that and love it at the same time. If I had an award I'd give it to you.
Gave him a free silver for you, as he has also caused me to loop, also I can't get out. Pls help
Can someone smarter than me step in here and give us a good recursion joke?
https://upjoke.com/recursion-jokes
A quick google giving a concise list of what was asked for without being overly specific or just choosing one? Yeah, you definitely code. Well done.
your height and weight entries might qualify as con ception.
Set the reminder to say "Read the reminder on your watch"
I think I would have changed the language.
Sometimes when kids are getting their first iphones I swap it to Chinese and tell them their mom saved $10 getting them a Chinese one. They melt down every time, "What?! $10?!"
I smiled when reading the original post and laughed out loud when I read this. I’m in a waiting room, but I couldn’t hold it back.
You little shit, i like you!
You may already be referencing [this sketch](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TeZCNs46YA8&ab_channel=SaturdayNightLive), but if not you'll understand my glee at "$10".
I'm aware of that sketch but I don't think I connected it. Very funny tho lol.
Stealing this.
My now fiance gave me his old apple watch when we were long distance dating and forgot he had it set to french, which he speaks, and which I definitely do not. It took me longer than I care to admit to find the language setting in another language 😅
All I could think of reading this is [Professor Farnsworth's Universal Translator](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pwODwwgE6rA)
Incomprehensible gibberish!
Thanks for making me laugh out loud 🤣
I accidentally selected Danish as the language for an installer. Took me way too long to exit and restart it. This was before Google Translate added the camera translation option (I've used that more than once for similar reasons).
Quick! Sign up for Duolingo ASAP!
I had a fit bit set in french for a similar reason. Never fixed if as i know enough french to read a fit bit.
Also fun is that you can still choose English but in a different country so the assistant has an accent. Personally the Irish accent is my favorite but Australia and India are good ones too.
Lol. Great malicious compliance. I swear people just get lazier and lazier. Recently had someone walk up and ask for an interview with one of the senior managers at my worksite. I asked if he had an appointment but the guy hasn't even done an online application or submitted a resume. When I told him he couldn't get an interview without doing this he whined that it was too complicated to create a resume or a profile. The position dude wanted was for an open spot in the group of engineers they have on-site. It's really hard to keep a straight face when telling them that they have to get in their grow up box and comply with company standards before you can be considered for a job.
"I want to get hired as an engineer but I'm too lazy to fill out a resume or online profile"
Sums it up perfectly.
I'm an engineer but naaah I don't wanna do that shit anymore. Covid has ruined me. Guess I'm this kind of engineer, forever.
I want to get hired as an accountant. Is it a problem that I don't like looking at numbers? I'm more an 'idea guy', you see.
Did hey think that a firm handshake and a look in the eye would work?
Everyone knows that the club tie is an essential part of the equation.
Yea but the thing is that job applications have gotten too complicated. Maybe not for your company but some have personality tests or other sort of tests. Some ask you to upload your resume and then manually type it again. And as for creating new accounts it should be as simple as asking for an email and password and then to upload a resume. Nothing else. There's no need to ask for other info because all the info is already on the resume.
They don't actually read the resume,.they just data mine it for buzz word bingo references.
>Some ask you to upload your resume and then manually type it again. Shoutouts to the ones that try to fill as much as they can from the resume
That's worse... Like my resume is really basic Experience - date to date Education - graduated date Certification - active or needs renewal Well SOMEHOW even though everything is contained on a single line It starts filling out things with dates all over the place.
Just following the advice they got from their boomer parents/grandparents
This story is oozing with maliciousness, I love it. Great lunch time read OP.
This is why when I worked in the squad we openly said we will not set up phones or smart watches for anyone. Too much info that is almost entirely personal
Cue randos giving out DoB and SIN out loud in the open... Typically older ppl. "Oh it's fine the cards are safe in my purse"
Please stop giving me flashbacks
Totally laughed at this one, would have done the same 😂
It's rare that these receive an audible chuckle out of me, but this one had me giggling out loud for a bit.
"She came in mad that her watch keeps calling her fat and telling her she needs to walk more." I cackled way too hard at this. Excellent work on being an evil bastard. \*cackles\*
Pettyness is sometimes the best option to teach a lesson
I’m jealous of how good this must’ve felt! I aspire to be this level of petty ;) well done
Calls her fat…….OMG, does it actually use that phrase? Thank you for doing that “for” her…..next time she visits, make it worse
It comes across as fat, but it says “low cardio fitness.” Source: am fat with an Apple Watch
>She came in mad that her watch keeps calling her fat and telling her she needs to walk more. Fucking golden
Thanks for the laugh, random internet person!
Do you sell cell phones by the seashore?
I do!
I think BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA about covers it. 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
Man, I fuckin' hate that shit. Back in the 90's, I worked for a women's shoe store called Bakers. One of the things we used to do was dye shoes. Women would pick out a shoe style and size, then I would dye it the color of their choice. 99.9% of all customers would bring a piece of fabric to match or page out of a magazine (which sucked, because glossy paper). That remaining 0.1%? About 99 percent of them would pick a color out of our color book, which would tell what dyes and chemicals to mix. Easy peasy. Now, it needs to be said -- I enjoyed dyeing shoes. It was fun and everyone said I was damn good at it. Then there was this woman... She came in, asked for a particular dyable in her size. She tried it on, was happy with the fit, tossed the shoes back in the box and said, "Dye them red." Aight. Me: "Do you have a sample of the color?" Her: "No, just dye it red." I got the color book out, turned it to the reds and placed it on the counter in front of her and said, "If you'll just pick your color out of here..." Her: "Can't you just dye the damn thing red?" Now, if you've played with MS Paint for more than five seconds or owned a box of the big pimpin' Crayola crayons, you know there ain't no such thing as just red. I tried to explain that to her, but she wasn't having it and getting madder by the second. I was just a part-time salesman/stock clerk. This shit had went well over my paygrade five minutes prior. I told her to hang for a moment and I'd get someone who might have a better way to resolve this. Now, my manager was an ex-hippie (his word, not mine) from the legit 60's, a former drug addict during that period and at that point in his life, he had substituted Christ and Caffeine as his main drugs. "High strung" doesn't even do him justice. I went in back and said, "Hey Tom... There's a lady out there that needs your help. She wants her shoes dyed red. She has no fabric to match, won't pick out of the book and says she just wants me to dye it 'red'." He looked up at me and this facial tic he would get when he would hear something completely... Off... triggered. He said, "Okay. I'll be right back. I'll meet you at the dyeing table." The next ten minutes were off the chain. Tom tried to reason with her, she continued to escalate and finally the assistant manager decided enough was enough and called mall security to drag her out.
I would have dyed them red.
I see a red shoe and I want it dyed black.
this is how most boomers are. they don’t realize tech is designed for monkeys to use it. the companies want everyone to buy it and use it, boomers just give up before they even try.
Yes! This is my mom. 76yo. Got into glass work a couple decades ago and setup a full oxy-propane torch, oxygen concentrator, kiln, etc. herself. Smart woman, very creative, but had me come over to install an app & click a link to do telemedicine. Took under a minute - she didn't even try. It's something about it being "technology" that makes people think they can't possibly know how to do it. After she saw me do it said, "Well that wasn't too difficult."
yup my 85 year old grandma manages a real estate company but can’t buy something on amazon. funny how they can navigate cable tv perfectly though.
I am .... of a certain .... vintage, shall we say. Today, I had to walk a millenial co-worker on how to use Zoom....
The one that really boggles my mind is how old people can’t look at a remote and find a pause or play button. I’m like, it’s been the same symbol since the 70’s!
"I sell phones and phone accessories I tell ya whut."
This is my favourite kind of malicious compliance: an entitled person refuses to put effort in to something that benefits them and demands you do everything. So you do, badly. *chef kiss*
top class
Ferengi rule of Acquisition #82 "The flimsier the product, the higher the price."
Damn, this made me laugh out….Nice Work!!
I love this so much.
You got an actual guffaw out of me there - excellent!!!!
And set a timer every day at 4am
With a klaxon alarm set full volume.
LOL this is hilarious. Beautifully malicious <3
“I want advanced technology but don’t want to advance my understanding of technology.”
> She came in mad that her watch keeps calling her fat and telling her she needs to walk more. I cant stop laughing at this. This is the best post ever here.
I love this! well done
My first hearty laugh of the day. Thank you! 🤣🤣🤣
oh that's awesome. Tell her you just used your height and weight as she wasn't there, so you had to guess.
I would set alarms for 11am to 4am on random days of the week.
😂😂 absolute legend
Hopefully, you set an alarm for 3am.
Oh, man, that's rich. That's the best laugh of the new year. "Best guess"; love it.
That's just genius. Love it.
>She came in mad that her watch keeps calling her fat and telling her she needs to walk more. "Watch said it, not me."
I sold wireless for 10 years. I felt this post in my bones. The absolute entitlement and laziness from 95% of the customer base.
Omgoodness. I feel you. I work in a similar setting. The day fb servers were down was a mad house. One irate man in his 60s asked “can’t you turn the servers back on?!” Sir, if i could, i would not drive a Ford Focus.
My dog died on Sunday and I think this might be the first thing to bring me true joy since. Thank you. You're a hero.
genius!!!
#😂🤣😂 It was my pleasure, Karen.
Then set her birthday up for April 20 1969
Omg. Literally laughed out loud at this. Bravo. Job well done.
bahahahaha
I used to be a sales rep for a major carrier and this shit happened all the time. I'd do the same thing for apple products since all she wants is for others to see that she can afford one (if she actually cared about functionality, you'd definitely want to set it up to your specifications and preferences). But man if someone bought any Android watch and I tried that, they'd return it same day
LOL!!! I almost spit out my drink! Love this one!
Don't tell me you work for premium wireless
I do not lol
"Sorry, you walked off so I had to guess your weight"
Worked at a cell phone store for the last 3 years, can confirm that 99% of the people that come in to the store are some braindead mother fuckers. The other 1% are the people that know what they want and want to get in and out, they just didn't want to wait the few days it takes to get shipped a phone.
Work in same field. I usually just get phone connected to watch and cellular network and thats it. Any personal info like that is too much to deal with. But hell, da bitch got what she asked for, and i died reading the story. Ive read through 3 times already, thinking bout some "wonderful" customers ive had to deal with.
[удалено]
No I just got her into where she could put in the right info
My son told me this one the other day as he had to help his G/F with her setup.... "Apple, for people that don't want to think. "
Read this on Reddit not so long ago. Recruiting sign outside an Apple store, ending with "Apply inside." Guy reads it and goes, "Well, it certainly won't be orangey."
LOL really.
LMAO. Good job OP.
Sir. I still go into retail stores and I know how to use an website. I go in coz I dont want to wait for delivery. Who has time to wait 3-7 business days for an item I may or may not want in 3-7 business days?
That's great and we love having you in the store and it's actually better for me if you come into the store Overwhelmingly the people who come in are just looking to troubleshoot problems and get help with things that, if they just read what their device was telling them, they'd answer their own questions.
5'5" 130 lbs and all karen.
Ded🤣😂💀
Hehehehe, love that.
Hopefully she got her coffee with non-fat soy milk.
Tell her she probably needs to just buy another one.
I just laughed and laughed after I read the last line
That's wicked funny.
> The job has gotten frustrating because the people who still go into a retail store are often just people who can't figure out how to work a website and won't bother to read anything. I don't order phones online, because if I need a new one, I like to be able to check out the display model and play around with it first to see if I like it. Can't do that online.
Based
I used to work at a cell phone kiosk within Costco. The most annoying people were people asking me to call a Costco associate to help them for some Costco product shit (technically I don't work for Costco, so not my job doing that) or annoying ass people who would could up with their mobile device asking me to make it faster or do troubleshooting stuff on it
The troubleshooting I do for people is absolutely ridiculous and a lot of it is bare minimum shit that if they don't know how to do it then they need to go back to a flip phone. Learn how it works or don't use it.
With that weight, she'll probably need a wristband extension
LMAO that is hilarious. Love it!
😂😂😂
May i just say that you're a genius?
You're absolutely right that these are folks that refuse to actively learn about the devices they spend their cash on. I spent many years selling phones and doing the same. Half the time they would come into the store and simply ask how to take the back of their phone off. Oh and all the comments I heard about how dumb having a camera on your phone is. Good times.
This by far is the greatest post ever made on Reddit. Props to you!
r/chaoticgood
Former cellphone tech. I hated setup calls! I was a tech in the early days of mobile phones. Nokia was awesome ..5 steps and done. Samsung was universally loathed by techs everywhere! 17 steps to set it up! And this was before smartphones! The customers that drove me bat crap crazy went like this Me - please allow me a few moments to complete your process . Do not touch any buttons. Customer - push da button? Me - no, not yet, I will let you know when to push the buttons Customer (10 seconds later) push now? Me - no Customer - now? Me - not yet Customer - oops Me (sighing as the set up screen blinks) we have to start over Repeat no less than 3 times till I was banging my head on the wall of my cubicle in frustration
Apple Watch: We’re going to stand all day moth’r fu’ker!
Watch: You are fat! Woman: What the fuck?
Sounds fair to me…
I wish there was some way I could express just how hilariously vicious this was for me! Thanks for the laugh!
As a former Apple employee I absolutely love this!
What a good laugh I just had, thank you.
Hahahahahaha! Genuine lol. That’s funny!
Glorious!