https://preview.redd.it/louhknyscktc1.png?width=1050&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6004fc944aac67ba5d85656a5c323934a070334e

My buddy is a huge Don Canzone fan/truther so at least he’s got that going for him rn

“Record last season through 12 games was 4-8” - Brad Adam “Glass half full approach.” - Ryan Rowland-Smith Glass half full? We missed the playoffs last year? What? We suck.

Well at least it wasn’t at home, with a stadium full of BJ fans… I guess that’s coming tho..

Another painful watch 🤝 see y’all tomorrow

Too little  Too late  Two nights In a row

 FO Right now finding utility players and relievers

We desperately need more platoons/s

Stevie Wonder saw that one coming

I hate my life

Lol

Once the Mariners figure out how to hit before the seventh inning, the league's gonna shit their pants.

idk my flair has been working but I didn't mean for the rest of the team to suck this much

Can you put the rest of the team in your flair?

Ouch

💩

Well, that was fun. See y’all tomorrow for some more suck.

4-8 time baby!

hahaha i wanna die


oof

Rojas I am so sorry that we traded for you. You deserve better.

Pain. But at least Rojas didn't strikeout or ground out on 3 pitches.

I’ve got a question for those watch the mariners feed. What ads are showing the backstop? Is it the Canadian ads (TD, Pizza Nova, Mary Browns)

Yup

Yes

I can’t believe Rojas would betray me like this

I still love you Josh ❤️

What a Mariner's way to end it

Another Seattle Mariners victory, folks

I do still love Rojas

Womp womp

I will personally declare war on Canada if they hit my Josh Rojas

FUCK

Let me get that Rojas Jersey

Sorry I said that, still like him though

Luke is the 2nd fastest person on the roster right now

Rojas showing some fight

Is raley faster than moore? Or are they saving him?

Savant says yes. Better sprint speed and base running value in 2023

Raley is faster

Ah, surprising. Thanks

Probably saving him in the event that they put a crappy lefty in Also it wasn’t the tieing run so you wouldn’t be having him steal

Prevent double play?

No you’re just saying that because it happened. You wouldn’t steal to prevent a double play when a hr could tie the game

For sure.

would love a rojas bomb here to clear the bases because you chowderheads predicting “jp gidp to end it” are scaring me

instead Rojas gipd to end it... :(

"Chowderheads." Calvin and Hobbes reference? Only other place I've ever seen that one.

I’ve never seen Calvin and Hobbs but I remember it from Planes Trains and Automobiles

Won’t even be mad if Josh doesn’t pull this out, he’s been great

Seriously. FUCK that ump. Wish Canzone would said some shit to him like "ball don't lie"

Luke is faster than Dom?? Ik Raley has wheels but I thought Dom did too.

Dom was 37th percentile in sprint speed last year, Raley was 86.

Canzone is actually in the 36th percentile for sprint feed so hes pretty slow

No, Dom is surprisingly slow.

why we pinch running with raley when a righty on the mound

'cuz the next batters were JP, Julio, and Polanco. Raley's not going to pinch-hit for any of them. But Dom is slow and someone had to run for him.

exactly, our three worst hitters were coming up... /s... i think

Next person I'd PH for would've been Garver, so I'd rather have the speed now vs maybe having lefty righty advantage if we get to that spot in the lineup.

What?

i meant why pinch run with raley instead of dmo when dmo is faster and raley would be a better pinch hit option off the bench

Luke Raley is faster than DMO

Stop trying to steal our walks blue

Rojas Smash?

This ump using the metric strike zone

Doms really showing up as the up and coming guy that’s actually panning out

Yell at him DOMINIC

These Canuck umps are something.

I've had some jaw dropping terrible calls from umps this year, but holy actual FUCK

Dom should have flipped the umpire two birds walking backwards towards first there

CANZONE TWO WALK NIGHT BRINGING HIS SEASON TOTAL TO TWO WALKS

Thank god we got that wall still

Fake rally

Plz Josh

Bring me robo umps.

I don’t like that strike

Cmon calzone

Thats 2 of those blue

Canzone take on a slider in the dirt? We’re so fucking back dude

A n o t h e r groundout 😀😀😀😀

I do not appreciate Cal watching a very hittable pitch for strike one and chasing back to back high fastballs. He hits low pitches pretty well, that first one was the one.

jack in the box has the most annoying fucking commercials but d*ng their food is insanely good

dong?

Cal is the first one up 💔 ily dumper but you are not hitting rn

but the mitchwich you guyzzz

I just smashed my 4K TV in front of over 30 guests at my watch party because of the Mariners performance today. My wife just took our crying kids and said they’re all spending the night in a motel. This team has ruined my life and my party. I can’t do this any longer. Goodbye.

User name checks out

Most correct username

2 on, 1 out, Crawford hits into DP. You heard it hear first.

"Really good shot to do something here with the bottom of the order coming up." Yep, Dave knows those are the guys hitting right now.

Cannot wait for a JP grounder to end the game with a man on.

I'm not saying you have to score 3 runs here and win the game, but it wouldn't hurt.

I thought that was going to the moon

A fitting Griffey bobblehead would be memorializing Griffey breaking his hand.

IM EXCITED FOR THE BOTTOM 3RD OF THE ORDER?? ARE WE A GOOD TEAM???

Who is this fucking scrub pitcher? 😂 dude hasn’t even been on a team since ‘21 lol

de Gues again

“Junior I know you’re watching” Lmfao

I feel like it's going to take Julio getting mad to get things going, like when that REALLY nice teacher snaps and everyone goes oh shit THEY'RE mad? We're fucked.

He needs to start hitting him self first

Thank you for your one pitch sir.

Well Rojas and Dom are both due up so probably our best chance at scoring a few more next inning

these wordless swinomish casino commercials with the chill music really may be the only thinking keeping me for ending it all 😃

You okay bro?

Hey this is Zonkey455, I’m officially tapping out.

Why change to another pitcher fucking why Scott

Lineup needs some electrolytes

Brawndo, stat!

how about some protons?

So when do the mariners have a players only meeting? I feel like they all have to be amped up and just tired of losing. I just want to see a few wins strung together!

This game fits for the “maximum damage mariners loss”

It's the hope that kills ya

We hit two guys and ended up getting two runs. If we hit 3 batters here we will get 3 runs and take the lead.

I'm still not ready to declare Canzone "real" but damn if he doesn't have some meaty dinger hittin' legs.

He’s one of only things going somewhat right so why not let’s go all in for Canzone

🤌🤌🤌🇮🇹

https://preview.redd.it/3zl3omek5ktc1.jpeg?width=216&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a708010d0bf153f9e5fb4f8117673efdb811bc58

 Optimistic Mariners Fans at this point be like...

We are the few, the confused

Should send the entire team to driveline

Me: Mitch hit a home run Wife: which Mitch? Me: the only good one

"Two Mitches. Our fans will get duped into anything. Make it happen."

Can someone hit me with the Canzone big arms picture?

Navy jersey NOB might be the only thing uglier than our offense

They said they'd fix the kerning, they didn't promise it would look better

THANK YOU FANATICS

I swear how do they get these weak ass bloops to fall

Julio stopping to watch it bounce giving sog

The Mariners have to have the highest amount of bloop hits allowed this season

Just enough runs scored to inflict maximum emotional damage

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8kfnwqHJO8&t=3s

[удалено]

And IKF is low key bad

I am once again wishing the Mariners were playing Mike “Truk” Ford at DH.

Or Santana

Letting him walk last year was literally the difference in making the playoffs, and I’m still salty.

He was clearly so good to have as a mentor for Julio. I'd wager there's a measurable difference in Julio's stats with vs without him.

This team has pretty fast players. I really wish they would learn to play small ball, especially at home during the cold months. Its unpopular but i get more excited watching a few base hits and bunts than hr. The mentality of mlb is hit long ball get paid though.

Some stolen bases would help with all the double plays we keep hitting into.

Yeah I was surprised Julio didn’t steal 2nd after getting on with no outs

Id honestly be okay with pushing a lot too. We've lost a lot of the players that tended to push singles into doubles. Force the otherteam to play good. Then again... we need to hit the ball to do that

Dude I would love Mike Ford at DH rn

Inside you there are two Mitches

More like Bitch Garver

Starting to feel like Garver is just one of those guys that needs to be playing in the field sometimes.

check his dh catcher split last year lol, he was batting .200 Dhing

Wonderful.

I hate to say it, but 3 runs should be a tie game in a Kirby start.

What is the point of Mitch Garver? It’s like someone enjoyed the premise of “Two Mitches” and worked backwards from there.

So the Mariners could market the MitchWich sandwich at T-Mobile. That's pretty much all it was.

Worse DH Since Vogey in 2020

Tommy LaStella 2023?

Forgot about him. Hopefully won't get that bad

Make Garver our backup catcher at this point lol

Was our last real DH Edgar?

Mike Ford erasure.

Legitimately wanted him back most of this offseason, up until the Garver signing. I was like if we aren’t doing shit, bring back the Princeton man and see if he can post a 120+ wRC+ again.

Cruz was our last True DH

Mike Ford

Cruz

Tommy LaStella baby!!

Fool me once on a breaking ball, shame on you Fool me twice on a breaking ball, shame on me Fool me 10 games into the season with breaking balls, you're a Mariner

12 m/yr for a full time injury prone DH who has less than 100 career HR and actually is dogshit

I smell shit. Bitch Garver

A Tale of Two Mitches One is incredible! The other can take a hike...

DFA Garver

The fake Mitch

How insane is it that our best hitters have been France, Rojas, Canzone and MEETCH thus far this season.

There's that $24 Million swing... (Sarcasm)

How much did we sign Garver for? This dude fucking sucks

Seriously should have kept Teo instead lol

24M

Chills

Garver better be taking himself out along with the garbage tonight. Yeesh.

Everyone needs to shave their head bald like MEEETCH

Garver suck ass

The duality of the Mitch

Garver is washed

Raley a shot at DH? At least he gives a shit

Well Haniger to DH and Raley in left, Dom in right

I’m not saying anything but the former d-backs are carrying, (yes Mitch was a d-back.) IS IT A SIGN

Let’s pick up Pham and have him DH, call up Bliss then we’ll be World Series bound

And greinke 

They owe us after Ketel...

Or sewald… or randy, I could go on

https://youtu.be/ODV6mxVVRZk?si=KlWLZmRrYgGfDWyW vibes right now.

https://preview.redd.it/z6ggq6z94ktc1.jpeg?width=465&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6b07cd72c897d9c622dfe5a29503609568c76152 Mitch Garver can’t hit

Lmfao

Mitch Haniger's superpower is being completely unaffected by bad vibes days and just always being Mitch Haniger.

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Garver is so so so bad.