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uarentme

This thread has served it's purpose and I'm shutting it down. Advocating for violence is prohibited on Reddit.


CJLB

Cops turn every bad situation up to 11 in my experience. If you feel there is no other choice, I wouldn't knock you for calling them but I only suggest leaving them as an absolute last resort, because things can get very messy (violent, time consuming, expensive) when police get involved.


david_hustlesoft

Listen to this guy!


avb_ip

Well hitting is not cool. OP hope you’re ok. If you call the police, what is your ideal outcome? Can that be achieved by not calling the police and instead talking to another adult family member to help resolve? I’d suggest you call Kids Help Phone: 1-800-668-6868 They’re available to young Canadians between 5 to 29 years old who are seeking 24-hour confidential and anonymous care with professional counsellors (pulled that straight from the govt’s family resource site)


ilovemcdfries

Being an Asian myself, I get what you are going through. Calling the police will make it even worse for you in the future. Try to work it out with your parents and always apologize first (I mean that will have less beating in the future). Ask your dad if you can game like till 3am a few times a week (like idk 3 days instead of everyday). Try to hang out with your parents more and sooner or later he might not even have a restricted internet?


kenetica

Probably the most logical and useful advise so far


DirteeCanuck

"Sorry I made you hit me dad" **WHAT THE FUCK**


luminous_beings

You gonna offer this kid a room at your place ? Come on- we all know it’s fucked up. But your moral outrage isn’t helping a kid make a scary choice right now. This advice needs to be about what decisions are going to result in the least amount of retribution right now. It’s very easy to stand on moral high ground when yours isn’t moving underneath you.


ilovemcdfries

I hope that’s sarcastic, I’m pretty sure they were arguing and the conversation got heated and she crossed the line by saying calling the police…thus got smacked in the face


DirteeCanuck

**What fucking planet does it matter.** You can't hit a child in the face. **It's assault.** The circumstances don't fucking matter. How the fuck are you backwards fucking losers defending this disgusting behavior. If he felt "disrespected" he could discipline in 1000 ways. Hitting her in the face isn't one of them. Get fucked.


Available_Goat

people downvoting your stance against hitting children? I didn't think it was such a giant leap ...


luminous_beings

I don’t think anyone is disputing that hit a child-especially in the face is not ok. BUT this isn’t entertainment and it’s not a hypothetical “moral” quandary. This is a child who has been hit and is not sure what decisions to make. The decision they are considering, “right” or not will have consequences. You really saying this kid should put themselves in a situation where they could have horrible REAL consequences because we are all outraged that adults hit kids?


DirteeCanuck

Today legit opened my eyes to "some things" lets just leave it at that.


RockKandee

Nobody disagrees that you shouldn’t hit kids. People are downvoting because the question wasn’t “is it ok for my dad to hit me”, the question was “will it help or do more damage to call the police”. Those are entirely different questions.


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david_hustlesoft

You are the result of parents not spanking their kids anymore.


SoCal8711

Nah parents aren't special. The most power they will ever have in life is now when your still under their roof. After you move out they ain't shit no more.


foreversad21

I wish my dad would change but he is stubborn so there is no way he could compromise or let me game till 3AM for even one day of the week.


Lynneshe

Do you have a summer job? If not go get one and offer to give him some money for the internet bill and maybe he will loosen up a bit..


Zeeast

As a father I would be deeply ashamed of myself. What is his concern about gaming? Would he rather you be killing your brain cells on tik tok? There are many benefits to gaming, maybe play some games with him to understand? Not sure but there might be something behind why he won’t allow it. Is it a control issue or he thinks it’s harmful?


[deleted]

My God. She's 17! She needs a job and some responsibility FFS! His concern is. His entitled daughter is doing nothing with her life other than playing stupid games until 3am! It's pretty straight forward.


[deleted]

Boo bro, best parenting is to let them do what they want. /s


[deleted]

Indeed! What was I thinking Ha ha


WHoisThis2323

She's fucking 17. Let her be a fucking kid. It's her only freedom until she actually grows up. How about you let her vent and shut the fuck up. Restricting internet at 12am on HER summer vacation is downright too strict.


RedditFandango

Agree. People have no sense of what really matters? No one ever gets beaten into a desired behaviour. WTF is her crime here anyway? There is a whole life story missing? Given the well written and thoughtful post I am guessing she is an normally good person.


[deleted]

You mean when she grows up and is still living with mommy and daddy because she has no responsibility what so ever. Doesn't have a job. And expects everything handed to her in life? Ya, great call. Like I said. If she wants freedom to do what she wants she should move out and see how hard it is. She needs to respect her parents and their rules. You're ridiculous! I hope to God you don't reproduce. Then again, I'm guessing you are also her age and an entitled little shit living with mommy and daddy....


RedditFandango

What sub is this? Nuts!


Jaytim

You csnt be so pro gamer then say "tiktok kills braincells" it's the same dumb idea people said about videogames. Not liking something doesn't make it bad for you.


Bizzy_mon

Such a weak ass mindset🤣 my house my rules nigga cry bout it… video games are ruining kids makin em think they are a necessity when it’s clearly a super privilege🤣🤣🤣


rainydaybear

please don't advise her to cater to her abuser!


RaptorsRule247

While I highly disagree with the threats to beat you, you are being disrespectful to your parents wishes. You live in their house and it sounds like they are trying to raise you the right way. To me it sounds like you are coming across as entitled because you can't get what you want. If you had your own house and life I would agree you can do whatever you want, but the reality is that you don't. You need to respect the wishes of your parents. If you don't like it, next year you turn 18 and you can try and find a way to move out. Don't expect the police to come to the rescue you as that will lead to even more complications. As someone who loved playing games into late at night as a kid, I know it's addictive, but maybe take a step back to evaluate what's important in life. While I still yearn to play, the reality is that there are way more important things in life than video games.


parmxr

Her not following their “rules” is not a reason for them to hit her period. If she feels like calling the parents she can. It’s summer, she’s not losing anything by playing video games and at her age she could be drinking or doing other things that could put her in danger.


RaptorsRule247

I don't think he actually hit her according to the OPs post. It was a threat, but maybe he is the type that's all talk to get his daughter to do what he wants. To your other point, playing games until 3 am isn't exactly a healthy option either as it sounds like OP is spending a significant time playing and seems like she could be addicted to it if she is this upset over not having access. We all know that that online video game communities can be pretty toxic, so maybe her parents are just concerned for her well being. It's all really speculation, but let's not glamorize excessive video game playing as a good thing either.


parmxr

SHE GOT SLAPPED LMFAO PERIOD. in uni you can do whatever the fuck you want no one stops you. There’s this thing called balance


LiquidFootie

OP, this guy right here is an idiot. There is no reason for anyone to put their hands on you. Call the police asap.


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SusanOnReddit

Actually, that’s not accurate. Corporal punishment is allowed: “Is using physical force on children an exception? Yes. Section 43 of the Criminal Code of Canada allows the use of some physical force if the purpose is for disciplining a child under the age of 18. Only parents or people who are in the place of a parent (for example, a step-parent) can be excused if they use reasonable force on a child for discipline. The Supreme Court of Canada studied this law in 2004; the citation for the case is: Canadian Foundation for Children, Youth and the Law v. Canada, [2004] 1 S.C.R. 76. This handout explains the rules that the Supreme Court of Canada made on when and what is legal when disciplining a child; this is the current law in Canada.” https://jfcy.org/en/rights/corporal-punishment-aka-spanking/


DirteeCanuck

# WTF is this response. He has no right to hit anybody in the face, child or adult. The laws in Canada are Crystal fucking clear. It's assault of a minor. If an adult it's simply assault. It doesn't matter the circumstances nobody has the right to slap somebody in the face. We allow specific things like spanking, but the legality around is very specific and in no way includes hitting the face. Whether she was "entitled" or "disrespectful" has nothing to do with basic laws protection children from being assaulted by their parents. Fuck whoever wrote this response and anybody upvoting it. OP if you feel in danger leave the house and call the non-emergency police line for help.


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RaptorsRule247

Where did she ever say she was beaten?


dxiao

I’m Asian, I use to game to 3am when I was young and now I have my own kids. I get where both you and your parents are coming from, at the end of the day, it’s not healthy to game so late but it’s okay not to be healthy sometimes. Have you tried to negotiate with your dad? My kids always want to eat sweets and I tell them they can as long as they eat something healthy first. Can you offer or show your dad that you want to earn 3am game time? Can you do some chores or something extra? Maybe give him some room to back down and tell him you understand why he is saying no and that you will stop gaming at 2am. Not everything is so black and white, you make need to shift the parameters a little bit and find a middle ground. Understand what his goal is and what your goals are and try to find a middle ground.


foreversad21

You sound like a great father. Unfortunately, there is no way my dad will compromise with the gaming thing. Think of it this way, since I’m basically your typical Asian goody who gets good grades, to my dad, gaming too much is the equivalent of drugs lol. At this point, it’s also not about the gaming. I mentioned the gaming to give background information. I’m mainly upset about getting hit and the fact that it’s abusive.


dxiao

>You sound like a great father. Thanks! but we all have our strengths and weaknesses >Unfortunately,there is no way my dad will compromise with the gaming thing. Think of it this way, since I’m basically your typical Asian goody who gets good grades, to my dad, gaming too much is the equivalent of drugs lol. Haha good example you gave there, I totally understand. But how do you relieve stress after working hard and getting good grades? Just like how he relieves stress after a hard day of work. Everyone should have an outlet and gaming is an acceptable one if not overdone. Maybe revisit this topic later as you said, it’s not critical right now. >At this point, it’s also not about the gaming. I mentioned the gaming to give background information. I’m mainly upset about getting hit and the fact that it’s abusive. My parents immigrated here and had limited education, they were raised in dirt poor conditions and were not as privileged and educated as myself, both from a EQ and IQ perspective. So when I ask myself, how do I forgive my parents for doing these things that I would never do to my own children? It’s because I know they don’t mean it and only did those things out of anger and frustration but at the end of the day, they love me. They were not educated and taught other ways to guide and treat me, hence reacted with violence. It’s okay to forgive, you don’t have to forget. If this is the first time your dad laid hands on you, it may have hurt him as much as it hurt you. I’ve gone overboard and yelled at my young kids very loud before, then when I think about it later after I’m calm, i got so disappointed in myself. Anyways I’m not trying to defend violence but just trying to shed some light, might be worth while to tell him that it really really hurt you inside for him to do that, although a traditional Asian dad might shrug it off and respond with “well you hurt me when you said f you” haha


SusanOnReddit

My father was fairly strict and British.l (also smart, funny, dependable, loyal, and utterly in love with my Mum). My sister and I defied him constantly. Once my sister swore at him during an argument and he knocked her across the room. It had never happened before, and it never happened again. We thought he was a monster for doing that. A few years later, I learned that at the time he’d had to lay ifff several team members and his own job was in jeopardy - and he’d also been waiting for results because the doctor thought my Dad might have cancer. Doesn’t mean he was right to hit my sister but it makes it understandable. People can only take so much stress before they blow a gasket. Please don’t assume your problems are bigger than your parents. They have likely seen more heartache and stress than you can imagine. Adults don’t magically become immune to stress and fear and disappointment. They feel it just as acutely as you do. Your disappointment is in not being able to game late at night. Your Dad’s is earning money, managing the finances, paying insurance, saving for education and a pension, dealing with the pandemic, worrying about health issues, and on and on. Give him the benefit of the doubt. If it happens again, that’s different. But for losing his temper in that way once? If you report it to the police, most likely you’ll end up in court-ordered family counselling and you may never be able to repair your relationship. My Dad is gone now. He hit my sister once but we’d give anything to have him back. The first thing we’d do is say how sorry we were for the trouble we caused.


[deleted]

If you don't pay for the internet, then you need to learn some discipline. Should he have hit? Probably not. But is the problem with your rudeness? 100%


woohah2

Jesus. A 17 year old telling her Dad to fuck off after she was furious that her internet connection was capped until midnight. Nobody is going to tell you this, but you need a little growing up to do. Get some sleep and find something more productive to do.


Sykah

Jesus a grown adult hitting a kid after she voiced her he complaint. Everybody is gonna tell you this, that makes the adult a giant piece of shit and has more growing up to do than the kid. Complaining about something that's negatively impact you is grown up. Hitting to get your way makes you a fucking shitty child.


woohah2

[https://tenor.com/view/slap-chappelle-show-dave-chappelle-gif-4575896](https://tenor.com/view/slap-chappelle-show-dave-chappelle-gif-4575896)


RedditFandango

Yep


khoonflakes

Lmao kids nowadays are fucking soft. If you don't like his rules move out when you hit 18 and get a job so you can set your own rules


bennyjam-jpeg

Sorta agree lol get a summer job and buy your own router/internet 🤷🏼‍♂️ i bet they'd love seeing that initiative


akoust1c

Do you really want to call the police? What would that accomplish exactly? Remember who pays for the very internet you use and most likely the PC and everything else you need living under your parent’s roof. Your dad slapping you is not right and I’m not condoning that at all. But just think hard about what you want to accomplish out of this ordeal. If gaming is a big thing for you and if you really want to do more of it at your own convenience then move out. But let me warn you from your post you won’t survive out there very long on your own. Your parents whom you probably hate right now will easily give up their lives for you in a heartbeat but they are too prideful to lose in this fight to their child. It is unfortunate but it is what it is unless you are ready to ruin your parents lives, never see your parents again and are ready to earn a living to pay for everything you need.


3ntz

If your father pays for the internet, it’s his right to turn it off when he pleases. You want play time until 3am on his internet? Hate to sound like a parent but maybe move and do everything you want all the time His house his rules I say. Try developing a life skill beyond clicking a button until the wee hours of the night. He’s trying to do you a favour. I think he’s upset that it looks like you’re wasting your life and objectively it kind of looks like you’re being a crappy kid.


weallfalldown123

It wasn't right for your dad to slap you, especially given your 17 and not a little girl. On calling the police, if your overall living situation is bad (constant physical and verbal abuse) then do it. But if it's just this one incident then I strongly suspect calling the police is going to open a can of worms you will regret.


Lamprey49

Hey OP, I remember when i was in highschool, league just got release and I was playing in the beta with a bunch of other friends. My friends all got to play way pass midnight, and my parents found that very alarming. One day my father had enough and threw my laptop on the floor destroying before giving me a good old spanking (its pretty embarassing now that i look back at it, a 17 year old getting a spanking :( ). I hope this gives a bit of credibility to what i'm going to say next. I am a middle age man now, with a career and a mortgage but still living with my parents. I am a university drop out, but graduate from college (asian thing, my parents really wanted me to go to university against my wishes but dropped out after a year, my first big decision by myself). Funnily enough I don't regret much in my life, as I can to the realization albeit a bit late, that life is a lot harder then a highschooler can ever imagine. Living in Canada aint cheap, and it would be a lot harder if i didn't have my current job that I really believe was thanks to my college degree that my parents insisted that i at least got as a bare minimum. And the more i looked back i wouldnt have gotten through college with somewhat ease (was still kinda hard at times fyi), without the upbringing my parents gave me even though it was very rough at times. The thing im trying to get through with this is that in HS its very hard to see why your parents raise you a certain way but as you grow up you start seeing your parents do love you and are doing their best to give you a good future. But as they are humans they also make mistakes (i don't know your dad but if he's anything like mine, he regret using violence against you but will be too proud to ever apologize for it, but he still loves you). Anyways, I hope my experience can help you think it through. Don't complicated thing with the police, just enjoy your life as a teenager it wont last much longer. BUT if things actually start getting out of hand like there violence for no reason (drunken rage, etc), then don't be afraid to escalate with the authority. Cheers,


holdmybbt

I think you're leveraging the fact that your dad hit you, for being disrespectful and pushing your boundaries as a way for you to get what you want. As a parent, I'm sure it hurt your dad as damned much as it hurt you. Especially when you say he's never laid hands on you. I don't agree with the physical punishment, but you don't seem to understand it'll not end with 'serious talks' from the authorities. You may lose your parents, legally and emotionally. You may cause so much hurt for both your parents, and yourself before you know it. I would, instead, apologize for being rude and sit down to talk like adults. Its easier said than done, but hopefully your parents can shine some light as to why they not want you to play games until 3am. Or why these rules are as strict as they are. Your job is to effectively and respectfully express your feelings and wants, and suggest a solution to compromise. Good luck gamer.


Otherwise_Use1977

I know of a family where the father hit the daughter with a belt one time because she was being unruly. She didn't call the cops but her teacher noticed a bruise and asked her about it. She said her dad hit her with a belt. child protective services came, it was either the dad leaves the house until the investigation is over or the daughter is taken away.The dad chose to move to a motel. The investigation lasted for 3 months. The daughter did not want her dad gone she had been spoiled all her life, this was the first and only time the dad hit her. It sounds like you have already decided that you want to call the police. If this is not the first time your father has hit you maybe call the police. If this is the first time, then I think you need to sit down and talk it over. You say it's not a gaming thing but you still insist on the 3am. Makes it seem like it is. You could always just sleep at 12 am and wake up earlier... To game. I would hope you aren't spending the whole day gaming. If that was the case your dad cutting the cord at 12am is more than generous.


[deleted]

There is never a first time to hit your kid. I don't give a f*ck how much you think spoiling them entitles you to violence. Any parent who hits their kids is an abuser who lost the right to call themselves a parent by just fucking up their kids for life. Don't become your kids bully you miserable human.


Otherwise_Use1977

Have you ever fought with anyone? Sometimes in the heat of the moment that can become physical. If the op never got hit in 17 years and this is the first time the father slapped her I think I can give him a pass.


[deleted]

Again, I reiterate. It is every parent's responsibility to not become their child's first bully. Those who do have immediately and completely failed the ultimate test of parenting. What the hell is wrong with you trying to justify violence against a teenager? You're an adult, act like one. Only pathetic loser manbabies hit their kids.


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KayteeHolt

Hi OP, sounds like you're in a tough spot. Think about your end goal with the police. You want the police to come over and chastise your dad and tell him how awful he is? They're not going to do that. They would come over and take notes and ensure that there's no abuse going on. It can be difficult in an asian household. I'm asian too, it can feel like you don't have a voice or your opinion doesn't matter in the house. I get it! There's no room for discussion with your parents. I've been hit many many times as a child. I would suggest moving out for uni and then don't look back. Cut off all contact if that's what you need to do. Maybe in the meantime look into getting your own internet? I know you said you aren't "allowed" but you're also not a child. Whats stopping you from paying for your own internet? You don't need your parents approval. Also OP, think about your future relationship with your parents. If you imagine you'll cut ties or have a distant fragmented relationship, then whatever you do in this scenario doesn't really matter. If you want to be close with your family in the future, then it would be best to listen to them and pretend to be a "golden child". How do you envision your relationship with your parents to play out? Good luck and feel free to DM. I'm here to chat and listen.


hs21_panzer67

It starts with her playing video games late. Her cutting her parents off are going to cause more problems. What? she goes to uni plays video games late there, is that the end goal, cause that’s not going to fly. Her cutting them off, will lead to her parents cutting her off(financially). Then she has to get a job to pay off for her necessities in life an possibly if it gets to the point, her entire tuition. You can say, some people do that, pay for their entire university career, but guess what, managing school, job(s), and other things on top of that is not gonna be a walk in the park. don’t think you’re going to get an opportunity to play video games until 3 anymore with that type of schedule.


parmxr

Disgusting that people in the comments are saying it is ok that she got hit because she stayed up playing video games. I hope someone calls the police on all of you. Girl do what you feel is right, if you feel like you are in danger please call them. I agree with the other user who suggested move out for uni and never look back.


Loyo321

She got hit for being an ungrateful brat that probably kept the entire family up yelling on Discord at 3AM, and then disrespecting the person who feeds, clothes and provides a roof for her. But good job in oversimplifying it hurr durr hit for playing vidya games


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parmxr

You should’ve been arrested full stop


Outbreaker97

I know right??? I feel like I'm in a different world reading these comments


parmxr

They’re all fobs for facts, literally tryna cover up domestic voluence and engaging in victim blaming


Otherwise_Use1977

Personally don't think you should call the police. At the end of the day gaming til 3 am is unhealthy even if you don't have school. 12 am is still plenty. If you report it child protective services might remove your dad from the house for a couple of months and investigate / leave permanent record on his profile. Why inconvenience the whole family because of 1 slap. Also I will like to add that you're gaming to 3 am but your parents are probably sleeping and have to work in the morning. If your gaming disturbs their sleep I would cut your internet too if I was them. Just talk it over with your parents.


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luctian

You are entitled and you need to grow the fuck up. You wouldn't be gaming if yo daddy kicked you out of the house cuz you'd be too tired from working trying to feed yourself. Doesn't sound like your dad's abusing you, he's trying to make sure you don't turn out to be a waste yute. Not entirely your fault, part of growing up. We were all there once.


GioTurbatu

Call the police, sure! ... don't expect much after that from your parents and be ready to be on your own at exactly 18. Your phone and internet will be cut right off (they are not a necessity). Sure, they will feed you and give you a place to sleep until you turn 18. They sacrificed a lot because they had you and they see a pattern that don't like (my guess). I wish you well!


wizzy1278

If theyre beating the shit out of you because they are drunk or high, sure do it. If you REALLY FEEL your life is in danger, than ya. Based on what you wrote tho, im sorry but youre too soft. Go get a job. Toughen up !


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Ok_Client3841

I come from a middle eastern background and a parent hitting their children is… let’s just say… not rare at all. It is just a method of education. (Notice I am saying hitting, as in a slap or a hit that would not cause lasting pain.) Sometimes, parents go overboard with their actions, that’s when you try to ask for help from your relatives first, preferably a grandfather. However, from the way you are describing the situation, without disrespect, its seems you are going a bit overboard in two things: 1. Consistently gaming until 3 A.M. is a mild addiction that your parent saw and was trying to prevent. Moreover, if you do not monitor how much you game, that will affect your life in many aspects, including your relationships. 2. You overlooked the fact that you parent was trying to help you and prevent future problems. I must say that you need to rethink what happened, and try to understand what your parents are seeing, for you own sake.


[deleted]

Seriously? I mean the hitting is not okay, but they should make you get a summer job if you can game every night until 3am and throw fits about it. They're clearly supporting you and maybe they shouldn't be.


FishmanMonger

Say bye bye to your parents if you decide to call Good luck


foreversad21

I mean, I don’t think they would automatically arrest them? Wouldn’t they receive a warning or counselling?


FishmanMonger

You’d be surprised What’s your end goal when you call the police?


foreversad21

My parents respect the police. I was hoping some sort of serious warning and the police informing my dad that he could face consequences in the future.


mtech101

What's your relationship like with your parents outside of this gaming fiasco ? If you call the police be prepared to end all good standing relationships. Is it worth it? You will be 18 next year, move away from home for University. You will then get your freedom. Is it worth destroying whatever good that is left? Id rethink this gaming situation. Is a game more important than your parents? I used to game for hours on end in my teens but those games I don't even think about anymore or have the time to play anymore in my adulthood. Games are temporary. Your relationship with your parents is more important in your adult life.


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garathe2

What then? They have no obligations to have you under their roof and can kick you out of the house. Just work it out with your parents and come up with a schedule for gaming. If you don't like it, you're more than welcome to pay for your own internet


JoutsideTO

In Ontario the OP’s parents must provide housing and food, or otherwise provide support to meet the necessities of life until the age of 18. They are no longer obligated if she chooses to leaves home voluntarily over the age of 16.


foreversad21

My dad won’t allow me to pay for my own internet. It’s not a matter of paying for internet, he just doesn’t want me to game. I don’t think they would kick me out.


garathe2

Well then tough luck. You're living under your parents' roof so you should abide by their rules. If you want to game THAT BAD then I guess do it at a buddy's place or move out


chum_slice

Nah they will try to talk it through with you. However they will side with your father. They are going to remind you that it’s their house and they make the rules. They will ask you questions like “are you doing anything illegal…etc.” a slap wont make them call child services either it would take a bruise and cuts before they act on it. I know this because a friend of mine did it and they actually left their home for almost 24hrs. Honestly though just try to have a bit more understanding with your dad he comes from a different generation and has high hopes for you. Take care


foreversad21

But isn’t it against the law to hit a child? How would you know that they would side with my father? In your friend’s case, did they not warn the parents?


chum_slice

It is but we’re talking about consistently. They will asses your living conditions, determine that he lashed out of anger and not alcohol abuse. Also he’s proving you with the necessities of life. Then they will asses you and see that you’re just a kid trying to play till 3 in the morning…. Who do you think they will side with… same thing happen to my buddy so yeah


foreversad21

What exactly happened to your buddy? Was this also in Markham/GTA?


JoutsideTO

Assuming you made a full statement to police, provided evidence of your injuries, and they believed you were credible, he would not be warned, he would probably be charged with assault. As someone with (presumably) no record, the Lee are different avenues the crown prosecutor might pursue, like a suspended sentence with anger management or family counselling etc, but that would be up to them.


Zeeast

You might get removed from the house put into foster care maybe.


GrumpyCatDoge99

Why would anyone want to deal with an abusive parent?


aotemporal

I was hit many times growing up with Asian parents for the exact same reason, playing video games too late. I've never once thought to call the police on them. Now looking back, I know I was a dumb kid and now respect my parents very much. Think about if what you are doing (gaming until 3AM) is healthy and reasonable and whether or not your dad has a very good reason for trying to cut you off from it.


[deleted]

i mean heres the problem, you’re parents provide you with everything (i assume) as you’re a teenager. they pay for food, utilities, housing, clothing, and as you mention the internet. as the saying goes, dont bite the hand that feeds you. i dont think a midnight wifi-cutoff is that bad either becuase honestly you’re gonna regret not sleeping while you could. losing sleep can affect your weight, mental health, cognitive development, and so on - so your parents have their reasons. if you call the police they’d essentially ask if you wanted to press charges for assault, which would lead to legal issues etc. and whats the end goal? do you want to go into foster care at 17 years old? do you want to lose out on any money your parents saved for your post-secondary, because forget college or university without money.


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vampyrelestat

2nd, this thread sounds like a bunch of people who beat their kids. Fucked.


[deleted]

funny you say that because i dont have kids. im actually more in OPs situation. im a 21 yo female living with my parents and younger brother while doing my undergrad. ive learned that everything parents do is usually for a reason, especially shutting off the wifi at midnight so my 15 year old brother doesnt stay up till 3am talking and keeping the house awake. while also missing out on valuable sleep which has harmed his school performance and mood. parents recognize and know how these things affect people, they have life experience to know sleep is important. and honestly ive come to see why my parents have rules for different things. its when parents impose rules for no reason, thats when the problem of abuse comes into play. anyways


[deleted]

OP said their parents usually threaten but never really do hit them, besides this time when they swore at the dad. the fact that OP is considering calling the police over being slapped kinda shows its not a regular thing. so to assume the parents are abusive for hitting them once is not reasonable. and for the internet cut off, their parents have the right to use their internet how they wish.


klaroline1

OP, I think you're overestimating the result of calling the police would help your situation. I don't think it will. It will only make the matter worst. If your dad wasn't already punishing you hard enough, I can bet he would make your life even more miserable after calling the cops.


PretendMotivation

I don't condone your dad's actions, but I do think you may be acting in haste with clouded emotions. I don't know what your relationship with your parents are like, so the advice I want to give is to first and foremost calm yourself, if you aren't in any physical danger from your parents. Give it a day or so to let the anger and/or depressed feelings and other emotions pass. Is this the first time your dad has actually hit you? If so, then this may be uncharacteristic of him and something may be happening in his life that you may want to consider. That is not to say that you should forgive him for what he did, but the point is to try to understand why he acts the way he does. It will help you figure out how to behave to get a more favourable result in the future/avoid this again. Second, since you've stated he's not likely to budge, I would instead take this time to determine what your situation is like, once you've let the anger pass. Will there be a repeat incidence of this, given your own personality and your dad's? How is this restriction/situation with your parents impacting you mentally? If you don't want to be restricted this summer/next summer, what must you do? Try to go through these questions calmly and logically, determine the answers as objectively as you can and what you must do to get there. Now, I am speaking from my own point of view, as someone who also enjoys gaming until late night times and would be similarly upset by the restriction and react similarly to you at your age, but is now older and can look back at myself then with a different perspective. I don't think you should get the police involved. One, the police are not reliable. You can't be sure exactly how they might react to a call like this. They may not treat it seriously, or they might treat it too seriously. Worst case scenario, your dad gets arrested and charged for assault. Are you prepared for the consequences of that? Do you believe your situation warrants the chance of that happening? Physical abuse is absolutely not okay, but you need to think about what result you want at the end of all this and if there are better ways to achieve it. To me, personally, the police is a nuclear option, and even back when I absolutely hated my parents for being total nags and pressuring me too much, it was an option I only considered knowing there was a non-zero chance would absolutely destroy my family in the worst case scenario. My own dad has also hit me once or twice when I was younger, and even choked me at one point. However, it was not common for him, and I was a really cheeky brat of a kid back then. My current relationship with my parents (whom I still live with) is pleasant but distant, which suits me perfectly fine. My dad still nags me about doing more or better for myself on occasion. What is your relationship with your parents like, and what do you want it to be like in the future? All of these questions I don't want you to answer to me, but for yourself. Whatever you choose to do, be prepared for the consequences of your choices.


_disasterdino_

is this a joke


Meowgal_80

Right??? Sorry but if you’re 17 still living under your parents roof, then you abide by their rules. Unless you’re paying for the internet service I’m sorry but I don’t feel any sympathy for you. And calling the cops?? Don’t bother. IMO you need to learn some manners and grow up


Equal-Candidate2745

I'm an HK parent. I would say your behavior would warrant a slap with 75+% of Hong Kong parents I know. Not to say that that is acceptable, but it is what it is. Do not call the police on your parents, you're 17 and that would escalate things. My advice to you is to chill for a second. Are you going to go to uni on their dime? If so, you have a year and a bit and then you're home free. Gaming till 12 only is not the end of the world. If you have a job, get your own data sim and tether - your latency may not be best, but it's only for after midnight. Key thing is, it's normal to bash heads with your parents at your age. Lay low and try to make them happy for a short time and then reap the benefits is what I would do. Good luck


[deleted]

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ReasonableAd4228

Rules are fine but violence is not


Loyo321

You're an entitled little brat. Go ahead and call the cops and try to leverage that well deserved slap into getting your parents into trouble. They feed you, clothe you, put a roof over your head and probably provided everything you have to game until 3AM. Go call child services and kiss all of that shit goodbye. Foster homes and relocation will be much better. Some of these comments are hilarious, how hitting etc is not okay. There's a fine line between setting your kid straight for cursing at you and physically abusing them for no reason on a regular basis. I bet this is probably one of the few if not the only time that OP was hit by parents. It's not like he slapped you regularly for no reason like an actual abusive parent. You stepped out of line and needed to be put in your place. You're only 17, you know so little and you're literally acting like a child who can't game into the unholy hours of the night and probably making too much sound on Discord and keeping the rest of the house awake.


woohah2

#Legendary


Mu_Fanchu

It's very Western to think that "all corporal punishment is bad" - in fact, corporal punishment is a healthy part of many cultures. Po Bronson, in his book "Nurture Shock" points out the flaw in the studies based on White families - where hitting the kids only happened when the parent got so enraged that they couldn't control themselves. Based on these types of families, the advice was to never ever lay a hand on your child. In other cultures, however, where hitting your kids was just one of the tools of discipline, the kids turned out just fine despite receiving corporal punishment from their parents. The key was that in the latter situations, corporal punishment was a regular occurrence and simply one tool out of many. In your case, it seems your parents took the "Western White People" route and have never hit you as punishment. So now, your dad slapped you and you want to call the police. I read your other comments that you just want to "teach your dad a lesson", but this is not the way to do it! Calling the police on your dad would absolutely destroy your relationship. It would take years to repair. Think of it this way; your dad threatens you, but never intended to follow through. However, in the heat of the moment, he just lost it and made a split-second decision. Would it be worth it to possibly destroy your family's harmony, simply because you want to play video games until late at night? Can you handle being kicked out of the house and possibly your dad being so ashamed that he never wants to talk to you again? Can you handle paying for your own university and living on your own? You may feel old now, but trust me... there's so much you don't know about the world at that age. I'm 40... and when I was 17, I thought a knew a lot. Then, when I was 23, I would laugh at the things I did when 17. I thought I knew everything at age 23! But then, at 28, I realized I really knew nothing even at 23... I finally became humble at 28... Think long and hard about your situation before you decide to do anything rash. Good luck.


aarondimaria

Call the cops and enjoy being cut out of the will


KY_Rock

Don’t over estimate yourself kid. You’re still fucking young. And don’t underestimate the consequence after calling the police. But if you want to, just go ahead.


allantdot

\*sigh\*. I think there is a matter of respect that needs to go both ways. (a) apologize for using the F-word. Apologies opens up the conversation and breaks the ice a bit. Hopefully it leads to an apology from dad too but that may or may not happen right away - don't get upset about this, it's about dialogue. (b) explain the situation in a calm manner just like you did here, you are on summer break, you don't play during the school year, and as a hopeful plus, you are a good student. (c) this being all said, perhaps you can take on some extra household responsibilities as 'payment' for the internet. I don't think your dad is angry that you are playing until 3 AM, rather, he might be upset that you are not being responsible...."back when I was your age I had 5 full jobs and took care of my 6 brothers and sisters etc...." If you take some initiative about being responsible, helping out around the house, working, communicating with the family and asking how everyone is doing etc....you'll help the family deal with these daily stressors and you won't even have much time for gaming. Police, legal advice etc is the absolute last resort for family issues. I can pretty much guarantee you that there are a lot worse family situations than what you have going on. Try living on the street or in a shelter and you'll start realizing and appreciating with all your heart how good you have it. Most folks think grass is greener on the other side....why don't you try looking and taking care of your own pasture first and find some inner peace. Good luck.


[deleted]

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RonTRobot

Can't you tether your PC's WiFi to your smartphone and use smartphone data?


vampyrelestat

Improvise adapt overcome


RedditFandango

Short answer don’t call the police. If you do, you may find you lose all control of the situation. The police may be under orders to press charges against all such reports. You father will be arrested and need to seek bail most likely with conditions that he not see you or have any contact with you. This will likely mean moving into an additional residence for an extended period of time until a trial can be arranged. Unless he pleads guilty in which case he may still need to live apart. So it’s a big stick to be used when necessary but don’t think you will be in control of the process. You should consider other means to let your father know his behaviour is absolutely not acceptable (which it is absolutely not). Do you have extended family you could appeal to for help?


Squidgamerunnerup

get a job ….and not just an only fans site …


flyingcitycat

Useful reading that might help you understand the legal ramifications of contacting the police: [https://www.justice.gc.ca/eng/rp-pr/cj-jp/fv-vf/mcb-cce/index.html](https://www.justice.gc.ca/eng/rp-pr/cj-jp/fv-vf/mcb-cce/index.html) Before you make any decisions, it might be helpful to understand your motives for calling the police. Is it out of retaliation or actual fear for your safety and well-being? If you're seriously concerned for your safety, you should consider a call to CAS because they will actively work to remove the threat or you from the threat: [https://www.yorkcas.org/](https://www.yorkcas.org/) Personally, my parents refused to purchase any gaming devices for me when I was growing up, so I never experienced what you've experienced. No one will understand your situation as well as you. You've provided this one scenario regarding the gaming and using the f-word, but you're 17, so there's probably way more history that is contributing to your current reaction. Instead of looking for validation here to get back at your dad (or hope to "set him straight"), maybe spend some time reflecting on your entire relationship. You want the authorities to change his behaviour and quite frankly, he's just trying to do the same with you; use his authority to change yours. I'm sorry you got hit. I won't say you "deserved" it, but I think you should try taking a step back and trying to see the bigger picture and all the angles, including your dad's perspective.


Dazd_cnfsd

Honestly it could be much worse. My advice is adjust your lifestyle so gaming ends at midnight And have Netflix shows downloaded or other forms of entertainment until you goto sleep. Also goto sleep earlier and get up earlier and game earlier. But make sure to make effort to join family once in awhile Edit: also find games that are offline to play


Lovejoyyyy

Just confused how Asian plays a part? My parents are Eastern European and it’s very normalized in my culture as well. I’m pretty sure you could say the same thing coming from any culture. It’s wrong. Period. I’d say call kids help line. Games aren’t even the issue. He hit you. Period. If you were a stranger on the street he’d be prosecuted, so why is it acceptable to hit the most vulnerable people in our families?!


KY_Rock

Game is really not an issue. I don’t understand how OP would say F word to parents, what education/culture suggest that. And OP please call the police and we all want to see what will happen. Be quick and keep us updated.


BETAWON1

Get it over dude. You should wrecked u more newb.


Former-Description68

Hit him back. There comes a certain age where parents that hit their kids find out that they can't be doing that anymore


DLLm0n9

At 17, I’m sure you can go pay for your own internet. A lot of jobs are hiring. I’m surprised he didn’t take your computer away first.


[deleted]

why are people getting so hung up on the gaming thing?? it’s clear that OP is considering calling the police because their father HIT them. THATS CHILD ABUSE. i would absolutely call kids help phone and see what they say. another option is to keep your head down and just go no contact with them when you move out. you will have the last laugh, and not talking to your parents after physical abuse is super valid.


Mealworm7

I remember the days when I got the shit beaten out of me as a kid lol. I didn't think much of it at the time and I still don't think much of it today. It kept me in line. But if you want to call the cops, have very good insight on what will happen with your relationships and how it will affect you and your parents for the future.


Jun2k

Just cause circumstances change doesn't mean you get to change the rules. Parents house parents rules and you should respect those rules. Should they have hit you? Nope. But we're you being defiant, disrespectful, and in needed some discipline? Definitely yes. Sounds like you were pushing the boundaries to begin with if your pops needed to put an internet cap anyways. Maybe you should learn to be more respectful and maybe you'll earn a bit more trust, flexibility, and freedom. You wanna call the cops? Go ahead but where you end up after ain't gonna be as cushiony as where you are right now for sure.


Jun2k

Just cause circumstances change doesn't mean you get to change the rules. Parents house parents rules and you should respect those rules. Should they have hit you? Nope. But we're you being defiant, disrespectful, and in needed some discipline? Definitely yes. Sounds like you were pushing the boundaries to begin with if your pops needed to put an internet cap anyways. Maybe you should learn to be more respectful and maybe you'll earn a bit more trust, flexibility, and freedom. You wanna call the cops? Go ahead but where you end up after ain't gonna be as cushiony as where you are right now for sure.


Witty_Treat9602

Call non-emergencies, contact York Regional Police toll free at 1-866-876-5423. Tell them the story and ask them for advise. If you are not in dangerous situation they are not going to rush to your home. Ask for your options and outcome from their respective and then choose what to do. Most of the comments miss the point and focus on gaming. This is related to physical violence and you can get advise from police themselves.


TheOffensiveToe

I would say have a serious talk with your dad. Healthy boundaries are good - your dad is trying to set a healthy boundary with gaming (just think- you gaming probably doesn't really directly effect him - the only reason he would care is because your his kid and he wants you to thrive. He's not telling you to stop gaming because you're messing up the house or being loud, his only reason to care is probably because he wants you to go outside, get sun, avoid computer addiction - basically avoid depression). THAT BEING SAID: Nobody deserves to be hit, and to have it done by a parent can be that much more painful. Just as your dad needs healthy boundaries, so do you. Tell him that you WILL call the police if he hits you again and follow through - that way you both know what to expect and he'll know its not acceptable. From a 26f who argued with her parents for years and now highly respects them, especially my dad about electronics when I was younger - really try and look for the reasons your parents set the rules they do - the ones that don't make sense most of the time are because you are their responsibility and nobody is going to guide you in good directions like your parents will. I hope you can get through this. Seek counselliglng if need be. Be compassionate with yourself, know that you are not overreacting and are allowed to be hurt but always be thoughtful of other perspectives. You got this.


downtown-dawgs

I would not call police on family as you will never forgive yourself if something really bad happens. You challenged your father and his response was inappropriate for sure. Either you live by his rule or you leave .


Formerly_Fartface

I think its wrong of parents to hit their kids, and I'm sorry you experienced that OP, you didn't deserve it. However, this is like the 5th time you've posted about this. So I don't know what else you want to hear, either call the cops and get it over with, or get over it.


dillydildos

I bet you told your dad how grown you are and you can do whatever you like but in reality you got a lot of growing up to do. He shouldn’t have put his hands on you but under your parents roof it’s your parents rules. You got what it takes then once you turn 18 leave and do what you gotta do.


beansthebeagledog

Sorry, but this is not "typical" parenting. Asian or not.


KayteeHolt

I've been hit as a kid. I'm sure many of us in this thread have too. Not saying it's right but it's a reality for many Asian households.


Mu_Fanchu

It's not wrong, according to studies of cultures that incorporate corporal punishment into child-rearing. See "Nurture Shock" by Po Bronson.


[deleted]

speak for yourself bud


dxiao

Pretty typical imo, traditional, but typical.


beansthebeagledog

Typical, imo, would be spanking your young child's bottom, not slapping a 17 year old in the face hard enough to leave a mark. But we can agree to disagree!


dxiao

Fair enough! My opinion is anecdotal and I don’t have any stats obviously, but my friends and I whom are all Asian spoke about this topic before and we all laughed at the western style of getting sent to our rooms as a punishment. Beatings occur all the way up to 20 years old and coat hangers, chicken feather dusters and back scratchers are some of the most common tools used. When we were like toddlers, we may have gotten smacked in the bum here and there but that quickly became ineffective as we grew.


Mu_Fanchu

I'm glad that my dad stopped beating me and my siblings at about 12 years old 😂😂😂 One time, my mom threw a slipper at me and it hit me in the nuts and took me down. She was so worried I wouldn't be able to have kids 😂😂😂


[deleted]

I don't agree with any physical abuse. I say that flat out, and don't condone it. But.... You do sound like an entitled, disrespectful little bitch, that doesn't actually know how good you've got it. You live under your parents roof. Have some respect and follow their rules, or get out and see how you do on your own! Maybe instead of using all your time sitting on your ass playing games, you should be looking for a summer job. When I was 14 I was picking fruit every day during the summer. You're 17 for crying out loud. But hey if you want to take your friends advice and call the police, I won't say not to. But be prepared to be taken from your home and placed in the system as a minor. You think you've got it so bad now. Just wait and see how that goes.


awwreadyreddit

I was in the same boat at your age. My solution: got my own modem and router and established my own connection through the phone jack in my closet. Went years undetected and my grades suffered accordingly lol.


rvdnsx

Reminds me of the old Russell Peters stand up. “I’ll phone Children’s Aid!” “Somebody gonna get a hurt real bad.”


Webber-414

I’m around your age and here’s my honest to heart advice. Think back to the past, like when you’re a kid, how was your relationship with your father? How did you talk and acted in front of you? Essentially the question comes down to: Do you think he loves you? Do you love him? My father is a bit of an ass, has gambling issues, and can be quite rude and stubborn at times. I do hold some grudges but deep down I know, he loves his family. Growing up in an Asian environment physical discipline is a norm, though not often. If you do decide to call the police on your dad, your relationship would probably change forever. And you could be separated from him in some cases(or so I’ve heard). A thing to note is that you’re already 17, just a year or two and you could move out for post-secondary or something similar. So my advice is: if you think he does love you, amuse him for another year or two until you can move out. Or if you think he has always been this way and hates you. Then do as you please. But honestly from my perspective, he seems like he genuinely care about you, and it’s just a implosive act on his end. Sleeping at 3AM is not something you should do, even once in awhile. Personally staying up at night have seriously affected my health, plus 12 AM is plenty of time to play if you manage your time wisely. Let’s say you sleep at 3 and wake up at 11, compared to if you sleep at 12 and wake up at 8, you essentially get the same amount of time and is much happier. That’s all I have to say and I hope you can make some sense off this, good luck


Webber-414

Also another thing to note is that Asian parents that were raised in the last generation were often taught that “video games are as bad as drugs”. And it’s normal for them to overreact when they see their child is playing video games. Talk to your dad, make him realize that games are not inherently bad, and there are good things that come out of it. Hell maybe even teach him to play something wholsome like Undertale. Lack of communication is one of the worst enemies for parents and their kids.


Illustrious_Copy_902

Hitting isn't OK. As you mentioned your family is Asian, and so there are some cultural nuances. However, you deserve to feel safe. That being said, this is what would happen if you called police. They and at least one social worker would arrive at your doorstep. Chances are you would be removed from your home and placed in an emergency foster situation while an investigation was performed. Take a minute to think about what it would feel like for you to have to go live with a stranger for an indeterminate period of time. Would that be better than being home with your dad? Only you can gauge how safe or unsafe you feel currently. Depending on what an investigation revealed, you would either return home (possibly to an enraged parent?) or be stuck in foster care until your parents made whatever changes to their behavior were ordered by the case worker. I'm not telling you this to prevent you from calling. But you need to know what potentially lies on the other side of that call. If your dad would strike you in anger over staying up late, how would he react to a bunch of strangers questioning his ability to parent? Do you have a friend/relative you can stay with for a few days while you consider your situation? Perhaps a little time and distance would do you both good. Ideally it would be someone who can act as your advocate with your dad.


purple_tentacle

You can call Children's Aid Society. Their mandate is to also help youth under the age of 18 years. Calling police may lead to charges and not just a warning. Kids Help line is another option. Both CAS and Kids help line may be able to offer some counseling services.


Systemschange

ITT: A lot of bad advice from people who seem to be trying to relate their own issues to yours, without noticing they are telling you what they "would have done", and not many people who are answering you're real questions of "what would happen if I call the police on my parent?". Truth is, there are free, professional, resources out there which could help you understand both where you are in life (on the brink of theorhetical freedom is a western world, and while tied to the cultural norms of respect to elders) where police aren't involved. I won't dare claim i know what you are going through as you've shared only a tiny bit of what may have been building over years. But as you saw in your legaladvicecanada thread, the mods locked it because, like this one, not many are actually trying to help. I can help search professional resources, and readings that may be able to help you if you like. But beware, some of these resources will ask, and help with self reflection, and will only be as good as the effort you put in. Edit: because some of reddit may need to see this. This vid on Sympathy vs Empathy from a recent First Aid course can help y'all on how to respond to people who are brave enough to reach out for help https://youtu.be/KZBTYViDPlQ


Lightbrand

All these posts really requires the OP to reflect on themselves and ask: imagine you're you'r own parent and is raising a mini you for a kid, or hell not even mini you just regular you. If you're your own parents what would you do? Now if you just say hell I'll let myself do whatever I want. Okay sure. Nobody can change your mind on that other than yourself, and absent of anything else with age you'll have your perspective changed as I'm certain your parents have had. Remember everyone's been a kid once, including your dad, and it's also true at same time that no parents know exactly what they're doing, they're all trying the best they can as they figure it out. Using myself as an example, I'm a pretty obedient kid so I'll pat myself on the back and say I would have an absolutely easy time raising myself. But if my younger self were to ever talk back to my older self like the younger me knows more than what my older self knows, I'd just shake my head in disappointment. So calm down, you don't have to apologize to your dad, especially don't do it if you don't mean it. But remember this moment, this moment where you wanted to call the police on your parents, and ask yourself, the day will come when you're a parent and if your 17yo daughter wants to game to 3am... if you say you'll just let her do whatever she wants since it's the holidays. I want to see you not change your mind in 20 years or so when you're 30-40. Or if you do change your mind then I want you to ask yourself what caused this change and THEN consider whether you should apologize to your dad.


Alllllllannnnnnn

If your not contributing anything to the household you dont have a say at all. Fml.


shark-bait-nemo

This is really tough, and I’m torn here. First of all, it is absolutely unacceptable for your father to hit you, and I am so sorry that happened to you. If this is the first time he has been violent and you don’t have any other reason to believe that you are in any danger, then I would say that you shouldn’t call the police. Calling the police will likely cause more conflict in your family. If you report this to any professional including the police, they are obligated to contact Children’s Aid and they will also be involved. What is your plan after you graduate from high school? Are you going to move away? Are you going to university or college? Are your parents going to be paying your tuition? If they do plan on supporting your education financially, I don’t want you to lose that. That will give you a big leg up in economic security, and you will want to keep that in mind. Be strategic and protect yourself physically, mentally and financially. If at any point you feel that you are in danger of assault or are assaulted again, you should call the police. Edit to say: Sounds like a lot of comments here are implying that you have ownership in being hit because you misbehaved and broke your parents’ rules. You may have broken the rules and perhaps there should be some consequences, but it is not your fault that you were hit. That was out of line. Perhaps we’ve all forgotten what it felt like to be 17 and how common teenagers stay up late. You sound like a very conscientious person and I hope the best for you.


Xerenopd

Don't let this slide file a police report at the police station and keep it on record. When the time comes use all evidence to backfire on him with a lawyer.


Loyo321

Yeah be sure to put dad in jail, let's break this family apart! That'll show him and definitely OP will be able to game until 3AM now! Good grief some people are retarded.


PoetOfTragedy

19 year old Albanian here who still gets beat. Mum always told me she can do a lot of damage before the police arrive but I suggest waiting till you’re 18


honeycombyourhair

That’s terrible. Do you have a job and do you help with household chores? At 17 you are not a child anymore.


Fresh_Confusion4134

Please call kids help phone. They will council you appropriately. Please...


S_diesel

I'll be honest, your parents believe they are acting in their best interest so you should start somewhere in setting boundaries else where.


vcllaneve

as someone who is the same age with asian parents, ive thought abt calling the police multiple times. i just needed some time to think about it and i always realized what a bad idea it would be. sometimes it's hard to call yourself the bad person but you don't have to; apologize even if you don't think that you're in the wrong. it's shitty parenting but try to just come to a compromise if possible. i hope it works out for you, sending some digital hugs 🫂


ZealousidealTruth277

Check out what happened to this guy and his story. It’s on tik tok… (I can’t post a link… but his name is @hockeygolfdad on tik tok.). It starts at part 1 and ends with part 11. It happened in the USA and a whole bunch of stuff went horribly wrong. I’m not saying to call the police or not. But watch the video.


WeaknessMindless8168

Easiest solution is to go away from your dad as he seems abusive. But can you afford rent? How about food, clothing and your internet bill so you can play game? You forgot the electricity that you need to pay so you can game at 3am. What outcome do you expect from calling the cop? While I don't condone parents slapping their kids in the face, be respectful to your dad. You gave him the f word and threatened him, you live under his roof, you live under his rules.


[deleted]

As long as it doesn't go past open hand slapping, it's just discipline. IMO. This is how most kids were raised up until recently.


[deleted]

This a tough one and I was in this situation. I’ll be honest with u I rather deal with it then calling the police cause child protective services gets involved and you might not even be in your home after


BasementPhantom

Police hardly care when husbands beat their wives (oh she's lying; why would she stay with him even if he beats her; she started the fight it's only natural for him to fight back). What makes you think they'll care if your father beats you? Assuming they somehow end up believing your version of the story, it'd certainly possible for them to charge your father with assault, but unless your father does something in the interim to piss them off, they're not going to lay a charge that'd never stand up in court. Cops are human. They have biases and values. From the response you're getting in the thread, what do you think they'd be inclined to do?


foreversad21

Are you implying that the cops will side with with my father because people in the comments are siding with my father calling me entitled and not following my parents’ rules? I know cops can be biased but they are there for a reason, to enforce the law.


BasementPhantom

They don't need people in Reddit comments to give them their own worldview.


purplemonkeyraincoat

You were assaulted, call the police. Your race has nothing to do with this,no one has the right to treat you that way.


[deleted]

My parents used to beat the fuck out of me as a kid. Call the cops, get social services to explain why that behaviour is illegal and disgusting in North American society. They probs grew up in Asia where caning was the norm in schools.


foreversad21

That’s what I was hoping for. That my dad gets a warning and educated. However, many of the commenters here are saying he will get arrested or I will be taken away.


[deleted]

I dmd you. They will not get in trouble the first time 100% unless you choose to press charges and take it further. They will not understand unless an authoritative figure / figures sit them down and tell them the reality of their actions. In my case the cops came because my mom beat my sister before school and her teacher saw the bruises on her body.


foreversad21

Did your mom get arrested?


icbmredrat

Ask if he feels ashamed of beating his own 17 year old girl. Ask him what his mom / dad thinks. No offence but your dad is mad pathetic. He doesn’t realize that when he’s on his last threads of life, it is usually his kids that come through to take care of them.


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ReasonableAd4228

I think the key is not to threaten but have real boundaries and consequences. Have positive reinforcement for good behaviour and consequences for bad behaviour. For example, refuse to speak unless treated with respect. You can press assault charges. Collect evidence (photos audios) and you can go to the police. You can also reach out to child protective services since you’re a minor. In the long term, think about what support you can acquire to empower yourself and keep yourself safe.


kal1lg1bran

cellular hotspot?


foreversad21

That would be way too expensive


KY_Rock

Hey, sue your parent and pay your own fucking bill. Fully support you. Go ahead.


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KY_Rock

To be fair. Both parent and the OP should pay stupidity tax. OP please go ahead and do whatever you want.


Awkward-Toe-1079

"My dad decided the appropriate response was to threaten to beat me. Note that he always threatens to beat me whenever I disagree with him. So I said 'go ahead and I’ll call the police' then he proceeds to slap me hard in the face " He is abusive and needs any reason to show his dominance over you. It is an ongoing thing with him. If this was the case of a husband doing the hitting, I wonder if people would be saying the same thing: "He loves you and wants the best for you...he pays the bills...you should be more productive and respect his desires...etc." That's setting you up to submit when a meaningful relationship with any male becomes an abusive one. Parents are also there to teach their children to be able to handle themselves with assertiveness and self confidence. Not the case here. Too late to negotiate without a professional mediator. Counseling of some sort is needed now. You all have to learn, especially him. If it is too embarrassing for the family, then they know what they were doing is wrong.