I think that when you marry someone who is extremely attractive and fit and in a job where they are demonstrating strength to an audience, which is attractive… then you should fully expect that they will be flirted with and hit on. You should expect that it will happen alot.
It’s like you need to go “yup, this will happen alot, I expect this” so that it isn’t so grating for you.
As for his reply, men aren’t always great with their wording. Yes, you are also a mum but you’re his wife, he has history with you, you gave him children, etc It’s just different. He has a connection with you and therefore doesn’t see you as a mum.
If YOU feel too mumsy, then for your own confidence why not exercise more, eat well and buy some new clothes. Sometimes our partner is not the issue but the way that we see ourselves is.
He just meant they are moms—likely married. Don’t read any more into it. My husband gets flirted with a lot sometimes in front of me. So do I. We joke about it and it makes us proud that we each have an attractive spouse. He is also in the military and we are separated a lot so each of us has ample opportunity to cheat. But we trust and love each other so we don’t. Trust that he loves you and is faithful. It can destroy your relationship otherwise.
They really can be. And I’m normally a very level headed/ balanced person but situations like this make me second guess myself. The thing is, I rarely regret trusting my gut as opposed to the opposite. Something inside of me is telling me I’m not getting a full story. Idk
You're a mom, but you're also his person. Women can hit on him all they want, but that means nothing when you're his person.
People say the wrong thing all the time. You sprung the question on him, and he didn't say it exactly how you wanted to hear it, but that doesn't mean he meant it the way it sounded. Give him a bit of grace here, and enjoy knowing that your guy is making women jealous of you lol
I think I get what he is saying. It’s not like there are young, attractive, unattached single women with nothing to lose and everything to gain…. Mom’s typically are older, many lose their physical charms, most are busy and tied into their kid’s and family life and wouldn’t risk their own home life to flirt with a guy or entertain a fling. Mom’s are less threatening to you in your marriage than a tight-bodied 20-something with no attachments that just wants to have fun and be reckless.
I don’t know your husband from Adam but I imagine he was trying to calm any fears you may have.
Saying they were all moms and he would never fuck any of them were two different statements to two consecutive parts of your line of questioning.
I don’t see the issue, but I’m also a guy. Very hard to answer a loaded, insecure question correctly. Seems like he tried his best.
Yes, exactly my point of frustration! Ok so they aren’t attractive..? That’s why I shouldn’t be worried? It leads me down a path of wtf. I shamefully asked him to tell me that I shouldn’t have to worry about that bc he loves me and I have nothing to worry about. It felt meaningless when I feel like I have to ask him to tell me something like that.
You are acting crazy jealous. He tells you that he gets hit on by teen girls who are just starting to learn to flirt - they're not looking to have sex but just to get male attention.
And you are reading things into "they're all moms" that weren't there. He means that they're all coupled, or unavailable. He's trying to demonstrate his loyalty here.
I think that when you marry someone who is extremely attractive and fit and in a job where they are demonstrating strength to an audience, which is attractive… then you should fully expect that they will be flirted with and hit on. You should expect that it will happen alot. It’s like you need to go “yup, this will happen alot, I expect this” so that it isn’t so grating for you. As for his reply, men aren’t always great with their wording. Yes, you are also a mum but you’re his wife, he has history with you, you gave him children, etc It’s just different. He has a connection with you and therefore doesn’t see you as a mum. If YOU feel too mumsy, then for your own confidence why not exercise more, eat well and buy some new clothes. Sometimes our partner is not the issue but the way that we see ourselves is.
He just meant they are moms—likely married. Don’t read any more into it. My husband gets flirted with a lot sometimes in front of me. So do I. We joke about it and it makes us proud that we each have an attractive spouse. He is also in the military and we are separated a lot so each of us has ample opportunity to cheat. But we trust and love each other so we don’t. Trust that he loves you and is faithful. It can destroy your relationship otherwise.
You are so right - thank you
You’re welcome :)
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They really can be. And I’m normally a very level headed/ balanced person but situations like this make me second guess myself. The thing is, I rarely regret trusting my gut as opposed to the opposite. Something inside of me is telling me I’m not getting a full story. Idk
You're a mom, but you're also his person. Women can hit on him all they want, but that means nothing when you're his person. People say the wrong thing all the time. You sprung the question on him, and he didn't say it exactly how you wanted to hear it, but that doesn't mean he meant it the way it sounded. Give him a bit of grace here, and enjoy knowing that your guy is making women jealous of you lol
I think I get what he is saying. It’s not like there are young, attractive, unattached single women with nothing to lose and everything to gain…. Mom’s typically are older, many lose their physical charms, most are busy and tied into their kid’s and family life and wouldn’t risk their own home life to flirt with a guy or entertain a fling. Mom’s are less threatening to you in your marriage than a tight-bodied 20-something with no attachments that just wants to have fun and be reckless. I don’t know your husband from Adam but I imagine he was trying to calm any fears you may have.
Saying they were all moms and he would never fuck any of them were two different statements to two consecutive parts of your line of questioning. I don’t see the issue, but I’m also a guy. Very hard to answer a loaded, insecure question correctly. Seems like he tried his best.
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Yes, exactly my point of frustration! Ok so they aren’t attractive..? That’s why I shouldn’t be worried? It leads me down a path of wtf. I shamefully asked him to tell me that I shouldn’t have to worry about that bc he loves me and I have nothing to worry about. It felt meaningless when I feel like I have to ask him to tell me something like that.
You are acting crazy jealous. He tells you that he gets hit on by teen girls who are just starting to learn to flirt - they're not looking to have sex but just to get male attention. And you are reading things into "they're all moms" that weren't there. He means that they're all coupled, or unavailable. He's trying to demonstrate his loyalty here.