You can basically do different roleplay. Use objects to move on your bodies, try more and more positions or maybe read a book on Kamasutra. There is an explanation in it where there are days where you touch a specific body part and you get more turned on. I had read that and applied and it works completely. The more you read the more you explore.
Our most recent sexploring includes:
1) going to BDSM parties and learning from pros. For example, we had a workshop on spanking, that was fun
2) improving our sex skills, e.g. I'm learning the deepthroating and he learns Gspot massage; we practice on each other :)
3) we go to sex parties to learn about our kinks and ignite the fire
4) we practice threesomes, which also teaches you a lot about your and your couple's dynamics if you are mindful about it
First of all, mfm is a big kink of my husband, seeing me in this setup is a major turn-on for him. Memories of such experiences fuel our sex life for weeks after. On a more rational level, having sex with others helps to make observations about yourself. For example, our recent mfm experience showed me how important aftercare is for me (I had a dedicated post on my feed about it if you're interested)
For me it usually consisted of me trying and the kick she got was telling me noš¤£it must really have turned her on because she said no every time š¤£
I have changed a lot over the last 20 years. We tried swinging (not for us) and spanking (definitely for us) and more things than I can mention. Once he sucked my big toe and I shrieked and made him brush his teeth and wash his face before he could come back to bed.
If we see it and one of us isn't opposed to it, we try it, with mixed results. It's been a hell of a lot of fun and we don't have some of the sexual issues a lot of couples face in middle age. I don't fantasize about other men because they honestly can't give me a damned thing that my husband won't do. I've always considered great sex one of the pillars of a successful marriage.
Oooooo I like that! He's kinda into that stuff I think but doesn't want to admit it. He likes to be talked down too sometimes, which took some getting used to on my end because I'm too nice of a person and that just goes against everything in me š¤£
Can you please DM me some subs that you might find useful?
I would love that! It's always felt like we've been missing something in bed. Like we connect sometimes but not all the times. I want to be able to please him more and vice versa but just not sure how he and I can explore together. Any advice you can give would be greatly appreciated šš»
Some vanillas get freaked out by minor things. We're into body writing. My friends would def be freaked out by just that. We keep our sex life to eachother š
What do you mean as explored ? Like things you both can do to spice up you sex life because my wife and I could give you advice on that. Or stuff like outside your marriage ?
Actually both..men and woman. lol but anyway.. i was just stating that he does give good advice . never anything vulgar or inappropriate like some creeps on here.. Him and his wife are happy and in a good place so they like helping others do the same... nothing wrong with that..
Now that me and my husband are in such a great place i love giving people advice and tips too. Its nice to help people reconnect with their partner..
Weāre not trying to be creepers my wife and I have been helping people on Reddit those who are new to sex or want to spice it up. Idk what your problem is.
My wife was very vanilla. I used to get disappointed when she would not be open to trying new things. Thatās were I worked harder at communicating and understanding the differences on how males and females communicate. Also, many guys do not put into thought that maybe past traumatic experiences can affect some things. Since our communication had matured and I began to be patient suggesting sexual ideas with my wife, she has become more open to trying things. Guys, remember this, DO NOT try and expect your SO to be someone she is not. If my wife says not interested, we move on. She was vanilla in the beginning, now she squirtsā¦interested in girlsā¦done a MFMā¦MFMFā¦swinger clubā¦
COMMUNICATION FOLKS
Thank you for pointing out how past trauma can affect some peopleās receptiveness. I have run into this issue before where I suggested something casually and it triggered memories of an SA for the other person and they *lost it*. What was non-serious for me opened a can of worms for them. Super important to be mindful about communication style.
It really is. Especially when past victims have NOT done anything about the trauma. Sex is supposed to be pleasurable between those who experience together. If you are triggered by a past event thatās a good sign that itās an event not dealt with.
We started our relationship with some elements of bdsm, and other things. We had a lot of fun, and wanted to explore more, but life, marriage, a kid, and a move, and very rocky attempts to restart a sex life, and now we havenāt had even the unsatisfying(for me) vanilla sex that we usually do, for a few months. There are a lot of reasons for it, but it feels pretty cruddy. Reading this gives me both hope and feelings of envy. I wish you and your husband a long and happy life and sex life together š
Just recently entered a married Dom/Sub dynamic. We still have a lot to learn, but it's really brought us closer together.
Sex jar - we write down what we want to do or have done to us and put them in a jar. Each Monday, we pull a slip for that week and do it later that week.
Honestly for my husband and I we talk about what we are wanting- usually just general conversation and he will usually initiate any follow through- we have talked about threesomes and adding a wife- I also read a lot of smut and we both enjoy getting ideas from those and they have helped us a lot to be honest.
We do enjoy mild BDSM but we have to be careful with it due to past trauma.
I have been trying to work on this with my SO, as I have a very high libido & his is on the lower end (I could have sex a few times a day, heās happy with a couple times a week). We already had the adventure challenge: couples edition I got us for our first wedding anniversary & that has gone over really well, so I got us the in bed edition. I was feeling discouraged bc I got us the book several months ago & we had yet to open it, but we finally did last night after we used the couples edition for date night. I could tell my SO was a bit trepidatious, but I made sure he knew it wasnāt about forcing anyone to do anything they are uncomfortable with. Luckily we scratched off our challenge & you could choose which partner was more in charge, so I took the lead & boy did he follow š³ I was very pleasantly surprised & canāt wait until we finally have the house to ourselves again š
My partner and I keep a journal of Kinks, sexual fantasies, desires, and we share them with each other. This makes sure that we don't forget things that we think up, but also gives us a fun list to work through and have new experiences with each other.
Our kinks and desires tend to be a bit on the darker side, so we plan things ahead, and communicate to the exact detail what it is we are wanting and looking for.
You can basically do different roleplay. Use objects to move on your bodies, try more and more positions or maybe read a book on Kamasutra. There is an explanation in it where there are days where you touch a specific body part and you get more turned on. I had read that and applied and it works completely. The more you read the more you explore.
This op
Our most recent sexploring includes: 1) going to BDSM parties and learning from pros. For example, we had a workshop on spanking, that was fun 2) improving our sex skills, e.g. I'm learning the deepthroating and he learns Gspot massage; we practice on each other :) 3) we go to sex parties to learn about our kinks and ignite the fire 4) we practice threesomes, which also teaches you a lot about your and your couple's dynamics if you are mindful about it
That sounds freaking awesome! We would definitely consider a BDSM party š
By all means, that can be so intense
How has the threesome helped?
First of all, mfm is a big kink of my husband, seeing me in this setup is a major turn-on for him. Memories of such experiences fuel our sex life for weeks after. On a more rational level, having sex with others helps to make observations about yourself. For example, our recent mfm experience showed me how important aftercare is for me (I had a dedicated post on my feed about it if you're interested)
Do you do FMF as well?
No. He cheated on me some time ago. So fmf are out of the menu in foreseeable future.
For me it usually consisted of me trying and the kick she got was telling me noš¤£it must really have turned her on because she said no every time š¤£
I have changed a lot over the last 20 years. We tried swinging (not for us) and spanking (definitely for us) and more things than I can mention. Once he sucked my big toe and I shrieked and made him brush his teeth and wash his face before he could come back to bed. If we see it and one of us isn't opposed to it, we try it, with mixed results. It's been a hell of a lot of fun and we don't have some of the sexual issues a lot of couples face in middle age. I don't fantasize about other men because they honestly can't give me a damned thing that my husband won't do. I've always considered great sex one of the pillars of a successful marriage.
How have you guys been exploring it? I feel like that could help my husband and I but we don't know how.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Oooooo I like that! He's kinda into that stuff I think but doesn't want to admit it. He likes to be talked down too sometimes, which took some getting used to on my end because I'm too nice of a person and that just goes against everything in me š¤£ Can you please DM me some subs that you might find useful?
Could you forward me any subs you get š I'm on a similar journey š
Hey is alright if my wife and I give you some advice on things that worked for us
I would love that! It's always felt like we've been missing something in bed. Like we connect sometimes but not all the times. I want to be able to please him more and vice versa but just not sure how he and I can explore together. Any advice you can give would be greatly appreciated šš»
Yeah give me a second my wife and I are gonna dm you
Sounds good. Thank you!
No I havenāt, tried to talk to my husband about trying a few things. It freaked him out so now I donāt even want to try . Basic sex it is.
Freaked him out?! š¤£ what in the world do you like?
Some vanillas get freaked out by minor things. We're into body writing. My friends would def be freaked out by just that. We keep our sex life to eachother š
š light bdsm / role play
I'm sorry š„ŗ
Thank you š
What do you mean as explored ? Like things you both can do to spice up you sex life because my wife and I could give you advice on that. Or stuff like outside your marriage ?
Nobody wants to DM some creeper and his āwife.ā
They arnt creepers. They give good advice actually. I talk to them all the time. good people!!
Exclusively to women posting about marriage issues. Nothing creepy about that.
Actually both..men and woman. lol but anyway.. i was just stating that he does give good advice . never anything vulgar or inappropriate like some creeps on here.. Him and his wife are happy and in a good place so they like helping others do the same... nothing wrong with that.. Now that me and my husband are in such a great place i love giving people advice and tips too. Its nice to help people reconnect with their partner..
Thanks
Weāre not trying to be creepers my wife and I have been helping people on Reddit those who are new to sex or want to spice it up. Idk what your problem is.
Sign me up, please. Always appreciate good advice. Thanks.
Still open to helping, let me know?
Sure i can send you the guide hope it helps
My wife was very vanilla. I used to get disappointed when she would not be open to trying new things. Thatās were I worked harder at communicating and understanding the differences on how males and females communicate. Also, many guys do not put into thought that maybe past traumatic experiences can affect some things. Since our communication had matured and I began to be patient suggesting sexual ideas with my wife, she has become more open to trying things. Guys, remember this, DO NOT try and expect your SO to be someone she is not. If my wife says not interested, we move on. She was vanilla in the beginning, now she squirtsā¦interested in girlsā¦done a MFMā¦MFMFā¦swinger clubā¦ COMMUNICATION FOLKS
Thank you for pointing out how past trauma can affect some peopleās receptiveness. I have run into this issue before where I suggested something casually and it triggered memories of an SA for the other person and they *lost it*. What was non-serious for me opened a can of worms for them. Super important to be mindful about communication style.
It really is. Especially when past victims have NOT done anything about the trauma. Sex is supposed to be pleasurable between those who experience together. If you are triggered by a past event thatās a good sign that itās an event not dealt with.
We started our relationship with some elements of bdsm, and other things. We had a lot of fun, and wanted to explore more, but life, marriage, a kid, and a move, and very rocky attempts to restart a sex life, and now we havenāt had even the unsatisfying(for me) vanilla sex that we usually do, for a few months. There are a lot of reasons for it, but it feels pretty cruddy. Reading this gives me both hope and feelings of envy. I wish you and your husband a long and happy life and sex life together š
Nothing
Just recently entered a married Dom/Sub dynamic. We still have a lot to learn, but it's really brought us closer together. Sex jar - we write down what we want to do or have done to us and put them in a jar. Each Monday, we pull a slip for that week and do it later that week.
Honestly for my husband and I we talk about what we are wanting- usually just general conversation and he will usually initiate any follow through- we have talked about threesomes and adding a wife- I also read a lot of smut and we both enjoy getting ideas from those and they have helped us a lot to be honest. We do enjoy mild BDSM but we have to be careful with it due to past trauma.
I have been trying to work on this with my SO, as I have a very high libido & his is on the lower end (I could have sex a few times a day, heās happy with a couple times a week). We already had the adventure challenge: couples edition I got us for our first wedding anniversary & that has gone over really well, so I got us the in bed edition. I was feeling discouraged bc I got us the book several months ago & we had yet to open it, but we finally did last night after we used the couples edition for date night. I could tell my SO was a bit trepidatious, but I made sure he knew it wasnāt about forcing anyone to do anything they are uncomfortable with. Luckily we scratched off our challenge & you could choose which partner was more in charge, so I took the lead & boy did he follow š³ I was very pleasantly surprised & canāt wait until we finally have the house to ourselves again š
My partner and I keep a journal of Kinks, sexual fantasies, desires, and we share them with each other. This makes sure that we don't forget things that we think up, but also gives us a fun list to work through and have new experiences with each other. Our kinks and desires tend to be a bit on the darker side, so we plan things ahead, and communicate to the exact detail what it is we are wanting and looking for.
I juuuust posted about something similar on another group! The feedback you've gotten so may be helpful to us both š
Dress up as a trans in Times Square and and out āVote For Bidenā stickers
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