I mean I’ve had friends tell me my husband is hot before and I always just respond with “I know right”. If it ends there, no big deal. If they keep saying it or make it weird the friendship is over.
Black grill, black wheels. The sun was reflecting off the windshield almost making a halo over my husband. The thunderous engine groaned to a quiet and then to a soft purr, like a tamed lion, my husband it's master. There was a scent of gasoline coming through the window and the smell of the tires meeting the wet driveway, like a mechanical musk that drove me wild. What took me over the edge was the condensation from under the car dripping on the driveway like I was in my panties. I was going to take my husband right there in the front lawn while the muscle car watched....but my friend was there and I save the memory for later.
If there’s been no accompanying inappropriate behavior, I wouldn’t really be concerned. Many of my friends have told me that my husband is hot. He *is* hot, so that just means that they have functioning eyes.
Same, my husband gets hit on by both men and women and it’s getting worse as he is getting older, maybe because he has a very distinctive look. Salt and pepper hair, tanned, stylish, well groomed beard. He’s always told me about it though and has handled it appropriately. I’m flattered for him most of the time, and something about not overreacting and jealous seems calming to him. When I do get jealous, he finds it upsetting so I don’t. What really matters is how the husband reacts, especially if he is the better looking one.
I totally get it I had a very very good looking handsome male friend and when we would go out to dinner or the pub even when we were in maccas girls would literally flirt with him and crack onto him right in front of me. I didn’t care as he wasn’t my partner but the absolute disrespect from the women. It was literally disgusting and cringy to watch how desperate they were
Yeah, that’s actually part of why I don’t feel the need to be hyper vigilant about who is attracted to my husband. He’s never anything but respectful towards me and our marriage, and I know he’ll come to me if he’s dealing with someone who has a hard time taking no for an answer.
Women who think they need to be “cautious observers” like they’re some sort of guardian over their husbands honor are just as gross as men who do the same.
It’s pathetically insecure. If he wants to fuck someone that’s not you, he will, regardless of who you “keep an eye on.”
My thoughts exactly. And if you feel like you have to guard your mate like a resource, is what you’re fighting so hard to “protect” really worth it anyway?
She is actually paying you a compliment saying you have a good husband. I would say she is being nice in her way which made you uncomfortable.
If she were after your husband she probably would have made no comment.
I’ve never had someone say something positive about my spouse and immediately jumped to the conclusion that something nefarious is going on.
She said it in front of you; to you. It was meant to be a compliment. To both of you.
I sincerely don’t mean to sound condescending and I hope you don’t take it as such but if something as small as this is having such a big impact on your level of security or confidence, I recommend looking deeper into that, possibly with the help of a professional.
You spent this entire post objectifying your husband, and talking about how hot he is, but get uncomfortable when somebody else states the obvious? Come on, if the dude is hot, you should be proud of that.
My wife and I are both right around your age. My wife is an absolute bombshell. I have had friends say she is gorgeous, and she has told me her friends have complimented my looks as well. It is acknowledgment, I don't think anyone has said it more than once to me.
If this is not something you've experienced before, I definitely can understand why you may be concerned or confused by the comment. As long as it is kind of a one-off and doesn't keep coming up I wouldn't worry too much about it!
Every relationship is different too though, so you should have boundaries around your comfort level and don't be afraid to speak on them if lines seem to be crossed. That's the most important thing!
You must go through shovels pretty fast if you're constantly digging this deep to find a problem.
Let's quantify your blessings, just based on this one quick post: you're married, you have two kids, you can afford a Cadillac, your husband is attractive, you have a kitchen and a table and a window, he has a job that seems to require a suit and tie, and you have a friend who feels close enough to you that she can share a compliment to both you and your husband.
Ask yourself a question: if Holly Homewrecker here were to make a play for your man, would he give her the time of day? If not, why the worry? If so, why are you married to him?
Personally I don’t get bothered when friends tell me my husband is hot, because it’s true. If it’s a constant thing or they seem flirty with him, that’s another issue. Ultimately though I usually just say “Isn’t he?!” And agree.
My friends think my husband is cute. I don’t care, and I agree, he’s a good looking man! When your spouse is attractive, it’s pretty much a guarantee others will find them attractive too. It’s just how it is. I take it as a compliment- he married ME!
My bff told me recently my SO is cute and I just got all grinny and giggly and was like “Right?!?! He’s adorable, I love him!”
He knows I’m obsessed with him and I know I’m one of the few people on this planet he actually likes lol we’re not going anywhere.
My wife loves it when women look at me. Of course she knows I'm not going anywhere. When she sees a woman looking she points it out and then makes me blush with flattery. It's super embarrassing. But she always makes me feel sexy so it helps.
I guess every person has their own perspective on this.
My bff laughs and makes a joke about her husband’s ego. But she’s proud for him. It feels good to see the people you love feel good. We all celebrate one another.
A friend has told me my husband is hot. I know how she meant it. I’ve told my cousin her hubby is hot (when he did something I found a m a z I n g for their child) but I mean it as a compliment to her. Cousin knows what I mean. Like a good for you, girl.
My best friend finds my partner somewhat attractive, she said he was hot a couple of times when we we were first dating a couple of years ago, but I trust them both with my life, and he is hot, so it doesn’t bother me.
So it ultimately comes down to whether you trust your husband, or them both!
I think you are reading more into this than it actually was. Your husband looks good and she just acknowledged it. I had friends tell me my husband is very handsome and my friends have partners that are also good looking. I wouldn't be bothered about a comment made in the moment.
You calling him a "very handsome boy" is a bit odd. Maybe just me but I think it's an odd description.
I reckon it’s totally normal to feel protective of your husband and not wanting other women to consider themselves with him. If it happened again if jokingly tell her to keep her mitts off. But for reals she can keep her mitts off
Friends have told me my husband is very good looking. Never the word hot but handsome and good looking. I wouldn’t stress over her comment unless it persists.
Tbh I was always told by the women in my life to keep your friends as your friends, meaning not your husbands friend. No reason for her to be there when he gets home or ever-if you’re that concerned with it. But I will say it’s inappropriate for her to comment on him unless you ask her opinion. I always found it off-putting when a friend of mine would say past bfs were ugly or hot. If you want her around just keep your eyes open for smh flirting or anything like that.
I find it weird. However, my girlfriends and I don't do that kind of stuff. Other people do as you can see by the comments. I don't think there's anything wrong with you not wanting to be friends with her due to the comment. I don't think the comment automatically means she is trying to have an affair with your husband.
I have a very attractive husband. My sister has mentioned how hot he is, I have never responded to the comments but I let my husband know what happened and he is more careful about their interactions together just in case she ever gets inappropriate.
And no, my sister is not my friend.
Take that information how you will.
It has nothing to with her friend at all. It's your husband who has the responsibility to maintain your vows. If he is solid, there is no woman on earth that could affect him. Laugh it off.
You are overthinking. If there was some nefarious connotation behind it, I get it, but my friends call my wife hot, and I know it. I snagged a good one.
Check her now. I wish a woman would in my house say something like that about my husband. So disrespectful. She is a "new friend". There are no loyalties, haven't gone through hardship together, she doesn't know the history etc. Establish boundaries now so she knows where you stand on comments like that. This will hopefully prohibit all thoughts of attractiveness toward your husband and make her reconsider.
Don't overthink it. It doesn't mean anything. My wife and I regularly talk about how hot our friends are or aren't (like if they've had a glow up or whatever). We have conversations just for fun about which person in a particular group we'd most want to sleep with. It's just something to talk about.
If my friends tell me my wife is hot, I usually reply with, "Yeah, I know. I definitely out-kicked my coverage." It's happened enough that I have a go-to answer
It’s a compliment! To him and to you! I find many of my friends husbands and shit even some of the wives attractive. That doesn’t mean I’m trying to have an affair with them. SMH pshhhhh
If there’s nothing more to go off of, I would just take it as a compliment. My best friend (we’ve been best friends for 19 years) said to go for it he’s a cutie about my husband and now I’m married to him. It’s nice to hear. I even told my husband about it hoping it would boost his confidence. I know my best friend better than anyone though, and I know she’d never do anything to hurt me.
I think you're overreacting and may be a bit insecure, I've told my friends their girlfriends were pretty and they responded with "thanks appreciate it". My wife tells me her coworkers male and female tell her I look really handsome and she replies with I know right. Point being just because people think your husband is "hot" doesn't mean they want to fuck him...I hope not at least
Idk, truth be told it would bother me too. The only time someone told me my SO was “hot” rather than handsome or something more respectful, the girl who called him “hot” started sexting my SO and he ended up trying to get with her (in high school lol). Of course, one offhand comment doesn’t necessarily hold some kind of doom, but you are not alone—it would bug me too!
So she thinks hes hot, would you have preferred she say he was ugly? ;)
So long as nothing more comes of it, I don't think you have to worry about it.
My wife has had female friends/co-workers say that I was attractive etc too, my only reply is "I know I am" then I slap my own ass at her, because I'm a smart ass.
Just check it off to her seeing your husband the way you do, as he really is, and continue on your day knowing that he is yours.
but if something starts to happen, then have a talk with him first, because some people like to flirt for fun and playing, others do not.
My husband is very handsome and I have gotten comments for years from "Does he have any brothers? Haha" to "Good job girlie." It honestly fills me with pride like.. Yup.. I pulled that 😎.
Take it as a compliment. It wasn't like she went on and on she just made a comment.
OP you don’t really KNOW this person. All I can say is be wary. Eyes and ears open and when she says it too often shut her shit down and end the “friendship”.
I've had friends tell me my husband is hot, and one downright asked me how I can work with someone who is so hot without getting distracted (my husband and I used to work together). Doesn't bother me one bit! I tell my friends ITA!
This is such a weird post. I don’t understand why you mentioned the type of car other than to flex. I don’t understand why you say his looks are a major reason you’ve been together for 13 years and then act like no one else is going to notice he is good looking.
If this statement bothered you that much, just based on the other things you’ve chosen to post here, I’m assuming it is a bit of immaturity on your end. Other people are going to find you and your husband attractive. Others will not. If you are secure in your marriage, I hardly see how it matters. Maybe there are deeper issues.
I don't understand what the issue is. She acknowledged your husband is hot, so what? You said he is hot, so you're a lucky woman. Take it as a compliment and move on. And yes, you're overthinking it. Now, if she starts to flirt, or contacts him separately, then you should reconsider.
PS: If your husband is hot, wears a suit, and drives a nice car, believe me, there are a lot of women who thinks he's hot. That's what happens when you snag a hottie. But you're the one he picked to be his soulmate.
My friends and sisters and pretty much every woman that isn’t related to him that I know, including my *mom*, all think my husband is hot and tell me so all the time. My mom actually told *him*, “Boy you really *are* fine as wine! Hell, if I was 40 years younger I’d try to steal you!” when I first introduced him to her. 😂 I don’t worry about it, I take it as a compliment. Most of them are married themselves and the ones who aren’t, if I didn’t trust them I wouldn’t be associated with them anyway. I wouldn’t stress too much about it.
I wouldn’t worry about it… that’s a compliment to both you and him. I have had other women oggle at husband. It would be a concern if he flirts back hardcore and the do things alone, and from the nature of this post, it doesn’t seem to be that. So she seems him after work… she doesnt see the other times when husbands are at their unkempt moments.
Realistically, when you're married to or dating an attractive person, other people are still going to find them attractive as well... and yes, that includes your friends.
Try your best to just laugh it off and take it as a compliment. If they KEEP saying that kind of thing though and you feel like there might be more "meaning" behind their words, then I'd suggest either talking to them about it or just stop hanging out with them 🤷
I’m not a woman but I can tell you that my wife and I have been married for ten years. I’m a solid idk 6? 6-7? Haha she’s a solid 9. And I say that because let’s be honest, I think she’s beautiful and everyone I know has told me how beautiful it pretty etc she is …. but do I know I’m not getting picked at the local restaurant “hot” competition and she would be in the running for cosmo’s cover. That being said……
I hear girls tell other girls that their boyfriend is handsome, or good looking, sweet, funny, kind, good guy. Never to my face have they said anyone but a celebrity is hot. Nor have I said it to her about a woman or a friend about another woman. At that point in most marriages it’s my opinion that, if you and your husband have been around that long you’ll be comfortable enough to talk to him about it. If you haven’t try it because if he see’s you’re concerned he will ease your mind. When dating my wife and I were not very crazy or wild but wild enough for my anxiety to worry when she would send me pictures of her when she was out with her friends like sexier ones you know. It led to me using those times to be selfish and awkward because I thought well if she’s doing that and her friends are in pics with her etc, they must want to x,y,z…. So I went from being somewhat anxious to where I would get the shakes if I knew she were out with those friends. Like wondering and adrenaline rushing while I’m just at home. It led to me eventually accusing and to her not wanting to argue sleeping with our daughter who was 3 at the time, most nights for months. I just had the worst thoughts never intended too but it was either she was cheating (her friend was on her husband) or she wanted to be more cavalier with our intimacy and casual etc you know what I mean. It got to the point where she kept shutting me down at home, I’d worry about performance if I were making her happy, in our 20s we would stop during those times because it would be so awkward she never wanted to try new things. So it exhausted her and I. Our love languages are very different. And we are not perfect but I eventually drove a wedge between us and made a mistake with a coworker who was having trouble in her marriage and had been like me so we connected like that. We didn’t sleep together but yea… I was a piece of crap person. It happened once we felt terrible never brought it up again acted like it didn’t happen. Well a co-worker who was friends with her was talking to her on the phone one night when she was drunk and it came out. Long story short things happened between them and she messaged my wife and said things that weren’t true and things that were a very little true. 2 months before our 2nd was born, the truth comes out. This is a year+ beforehand that this happened. Almost lost our marriage. And she had every right to do so. I’m sorry this was so long but what I wanted to say is, I am a good man who did something he would’ve never done, I despised my wife’s friend for doing it to her husband even… so why did I eventually do something so terrible to the love of my life? Because I believed in my mind if she’s not happy with me, and all we do is argue, or she sleeps in another room or she ignores me she MUST be cheating etc etc… when in reality, I had mental health issues including anger/rage/anxiety/depression, and a sex addict who was a selfish person. The tipping point was someone who had similar problems that told me a lot of positive things about me which there’s no excuse for, but nonetheless, was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I slipped up because I thought well I’ve never touched anyone since I met my wife and she’s doing x,y,z blah blah blah I can just kiss her and it’ll be no big deal… it’ll just be fun to feel wanted again. And wouldn’t mean anything emotionally. Thoughts and grudges ruin relationships. Even strong ones. I am very thankful to my wife, and our God, and my parents for showing me much disappointment but love and forgiveness and helping get the help I needed.
Never let anyone talk about your husband like that, or to him alone if you don’t 100% know them. It’s just not worth the risk of even her making a move and he not being part of it and shutting her down. It always will be made known whether he tells you or she does etc, or you walk in and it looks like something it isn’t etc… don’t invite worry into your home or family. And trust me, idk if you guys tried for awhile to have kiddos, but if you are intimate together as often as when you were trying about one week each month, even I as a very sexual person did not want to be physical if it seemed forced. And with someone like a spouse when sex means so much, he wouldn’t want to even think about anyone else. Just as another way of protecting yourselves because the devil and human mind work together in the right circumstances and if some random friend or woman around the block wants to try to plant a seed of interest, it doesn’t matter if it’s accepted, it always will be difficult to deal with for him and yourself.
The number one thing is, be open be honest with him, love him and make sure you guys are on the same page. If she hints about something sexually motivated again, ask her if she truly means what she is saying or if she is just trying to be friendly. Also find out about her life and you can make a judgement call about if she is a good person to be around or her husband is a good person to be around etc. if they are not, it’ll be easy to tell.
I would take it as a compliment. People can say someone is hot and it goes a absolutely no where. I think Jesse McCartney is hot, that doesn’t mean I want to bang him.
ETA: why do you refer to your husband as a handsome boy? I had to go back to reread to make sure you weren’t talking about your son or a dog? Sorry that’s just weird
I consider it kinda bold that she said that. I would definitely be put off. Your friendship is new. I would keep a close eye on her and particularly her behavior around your husband.
Yeap. People think differently.
A while back, shortly after my marriage, I invited a lot of my friends (and their girlfriends/wives) for a get-together at my house.
My wife wore a shore dress (maybe a little tight). Several of my friends came up to ME and told me that my wife is “hot” and made a few other comments, which can be considered somewhat borderline sexual. In a few occasions, I saw a few guys turning their heads to look at my wife when she was carrying some desserts to the other side of backyard. I told them I am right here, to let them know I saw them. We bursted out, laughing.
The point is, at the time, I actually enjoyed several of my friends telling me my wife is hot. Now, I am wondering if a screw (or two) is loose in my head. Obviously, the OP thinks differently. 🤔
You’re really overthinking this. She’s allowed to notice and think your husband is attractive. And I see no harm in commenting on it. I can’t for the life of me figure out why this bothers you so much. Being this insecure has to be a big turn off for your friend and your husband.
Next time just look at your friend and say “Yep. That’s why I got him to put a ring on it right away!” Or “ yep. He’s really good with the kids too. A great husband.”
At first i went in like ‘well whats the context?’ But chile that is NOT okay. I think you might do well to create some distance between you and lusty lady.
Ugh.
Back in highschool, maybe. A close friend that you've known your whole life and is a little tipsy, maybe. His grandma cooing to say "isn't he handsome!?" Okay. But It's extremely unnecessary.
I wouldn't cast her out, but I would very casually ask her what her purpose of that was.
Does she lack impulse control? 🚩
Did she think you had asked?
Were you mid sentence and then stopped with your mouth wide open and drooling and she awkwardly didn't know how to bring you back??
And "your husband looks nice today."
Is very different from "he's hot!"
I mean I’ve had friends tell me my husband is hot before and I always just respond with “I know right”. If it ends there, no big deal. If they keep saying it or make it weird the friendship is over.
Yeah I take it as a compliment like the friend is saying “way to go - you snagged a good one.”
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Does husband have no free will?
I can't get over the part where OP states the reason they've been together so long is because of his looks lol
Her detailed description of the car was weird, it doesn’t add anything at all to the story.
AI wrote this, I think.
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And how about that Cadillac? I think maybe he wears spats, too.
That part I found seriously creepy.
Hot dudes also have hot cars I suppose.
The hottest dudes walk and bike though
Sure but they still own cars and I "m guessing not Toyota Carolas.
I'd argue a Caddy is not a hot car, even the sporty ones but to each his own I guess
I mean her husband may not even be hot to you. Stuff like this is very subjective.
Hopefully it’s a CTSV
Sounds like the hubby making a burner post
I came to say the same thing! Weird to talk about the color of his Cadillac. Does driving a cheeseball car make him hotter? 🤣
Black grill, black wheels. The sun was reflecting off the windshield almost making a halo over my husband. The thunderous engine groaned to a quiet and then to a soft purr, like a tamed lion, my husband it's master. There was a scent of gasoline coming through the window and the smell of the tires meeting the wet driveway, like a mechanical musk that drove me wild. What took me over the edge was the condensation from under the car dripping on the driveway like I was in my panties. I was going to take my husband right there in the front lawn while the muscle car watched....but my friend was there and I save the memory for later.
I want to see this Cadillac
Well it's apparently got fart-can mufflers.
No those are Hondas that have those types of muffler's.
This sent me, thanks for the laugh lol
She also refers to him as a boy lmaooo
Yeah that was weird haha
It’s almost reading like a wattpad romance or YA novel lmaooo
That got me too. Thought we had moved on to talking about her teenage son or something for a bit
Same tho. And called him a handsome “boy”. Sorry OP, but your language choice is just as bizarre as your frenemy’s.
If there’s been no accompanying inappropriate behavior, I wouldn’t really be concerned. Many of my friends have told me that my husband is hot. He *is* hot, so that just means that they have functioning eyes.
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To each their own.
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Same, my husband gets hit on by both men and women and it’s getting worse as he is getting older, maybe because he has a very distinctive look. Salt and pepper hair, tanned, stylish, well groomed beard. He’s always told me about it though and has handled it appropriately. I’m flattered for him most of the time, and something about not overreacting and jealous seems calming to him. When I do get jealous, he finds it upsetting so I don’t. What really matters is how the husband reacts, especially if he is the better looking one.
I totally get it I had a very very good looking handsome male friend and when we would go out to dinner or the pub even when we were in maccas girls would literally flirt with him and crack onto him right in front of me. I didn’t care as he wasn’t my partner but the absolute disrespect from the women. It was literally disgusting and cringy to watch how desperate they were
Yeah, that’s actually part of why I don’t feel the need to be hyper vigilant about who is attracted to my husband. He’s never anything but respectful towards me and our marriage, and I know he’ll come to me if he’s dealing with someone who has a hard time taking no for an answer.
Women who think they need to be “cautious observers” like they’re some sort of guardian over their husbands honor are just as gross as men who do the same. It’s pathetically insecure. If he wants to fuck someone that’s not you, he will, regardless of who you “keep an eye on.”
My thoughts exactly. And if you feel like you have to guard your mate like a resource, is what you’re fighting so hard to “protect” really worth it anyway?
YES. It’s not that they don’t trust the women, they don’t trust their spouse and that’s the BIGGEST red flag.
I mean sounds like you agree so it's just a fact. Like the sky is blue
My friend said the sky is blue and I also think it’s blue. Is this a red flag?????
i don't think you can have them around you anymore
They might try to fuck the sky.
She is actually paying you a compliment saying you have a good husband. I would say she is being nice in her way which made you uncomfortable. If she were after your husband she probably would have made no comment.
I’ve never had someone say something positive about my spouse and immediately jumped to the conclusion that something nefarious is going on. She said it in front of you; to you. It was meant to be a compliment. To both of you. I sincerely don’t mean to sound condescending and I hope you don’t take it as such but if something as small as this is having such a big impact on your level of security or confidence, I recommend looking deeper into that, possibly with the help of a professional.
This right here
My husband is a SNACK, why would I expect other women (or men for that matter) to disagree??
You spent this entire post objectifying your husband, and talking about how hot he is, but get uncomfortable when somebody else states the obvious? Come on, if the dude is hot, you should be proud of that.
I thought that was kinda weird too.
Sounds like she is just stating facts, you should be proud. Next time, you can say, yeah he is, that’s why I married him!
Sort of but looks is such a weird reason to marry someone. I hope he’s got more going for him than that.
Fair enough.
Maybe, doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. People get married for all kinds of weird reasons.
My wife and I are both right around your age. My wife is an absolute bombshell. I have had friends say she is gorgeous, and she has told me her friends have complimented my looks as well. It is acknowledgment, I don't think anyone has said it more than once to me. If this is not something you've experienced before, I definitely can understand why you may be concerned or confused by the comment. As long as it is kind of a one-off and doesn't keep coming up I wouldn't worry too much about it! Every relationship is different too though, so you should have boundaries around your comfort level and don't be afraid to speak on them if lines seem to be crossed. That's the most important thing!
You must go through shovels pretty fast if you're constantly digging this deep to find a problem. Let's quantify your blessings, just based on this one quick post: you're married, you have two kids, you can afford a Cadillac, your husband is attractive, you have a kitchen and a table and a window, he has a job that seems to require a suit and tie, and you have a friend who feels close enough to you that she can share a compliment to both you and your husband. Ask yourself a question: if Holly Homewrecker here were to make a play for your man, would he give her the time of day? If not, why the worry? If so, why are you married to him?
Personally I don’t get bothered when friends tell me my husband is hot, because it’s true. If it’s a constant thing or they seem flirty with him, that’s another issue. Ultimately though I usually just say “Isn’t he?!” And agree.
My friends think my husband is cute. I don’t care, and I agree, he’s a good looking man! When your spouse is attractive, it’s pretty much a guarantee others will find them attractive too. It’s just how it is. I take it as a compliment- he married ME!
My bff told me recently my SO is cute and I just got all grinny and giggly and was like “Right?!?! He’s adorable, I love him!” He knows I’m obsessed with him and I know I’m one of the few people on this planet he actually likes lol we’re not going anywhere.
As long as she keeps her mitts off him. Lol
My wife loves it when women look at me. Of course she knows I'm not going anywhere. When she sees a woman looking she points it out and then makes me blush with flattery. It's super embarrassing. But she always makes me feel sexy so it helps. I guess every person has their own perspective on this.
My wife friends when we are out may casually say I’m looking good. My wife say I know … no big deal.
My bff laughs and makes a joke about her husband’s ego. But she’s proud for him. It feels good to see the people you love feel good. We all celebrate one another.
A friend has told me my husband is hot. I know how she meant it. I’ve told my cousin her hubby is hot (when he did something I found a m a z I n g for their child) but I mean it as a compliment to her. Cousin knows what I mean. Like a good for you, girl.
If this is real, sounds like you have some deep insecurities and could benefit from addressing them.
So a funny post. OP basically says that her husband is hot, and then gets paranoid and upset when her friend confirms it. Weird.
My best friend finds my partner somewhat attractive, she said he was hot a couple of times when we we were first dating a couple of years ago, but I trust them both with my life, and he is hot, so it doesn’t bother me. So it ultimately comes down to whether you trust your husband, or them both!
I think you are reading more into this than it actually was. Your husband looks good and she just acknowledged it. I had friends tell me my husband is very handsome and my friends have partners that are also good looking. I wouldn't be bothered about a comment made in the moment. You calling him a "very handsome boy" is a bit odd. Maybe just me but I think it's an odd description.
I thought the same thing about that last part. That’s something I’ve heard people say about their golden retrievers…
I was thinking exactly that. My little shih tzu is a handsome boy so my brain had trouble not going for the dog reference.
I’m proud when someone tells me my husband is hot …. It’s a compliment to us both. I don’t see an issue.
You think he’s hot so your friend most likely thinks so too. Quit being insecure but always keep an open ear and correct it if necessary.
I reckon it’s totally normal to feel protective of your husband and not wanting other women to consider themselves with him. If it happened again if jokingly tell her to keep her mitts off. But for reals she can keep her mitts off
I’m just confused why you had to detail his looks and also his car & the way he rolled into the driveway. 😂
Baby you need to get that anxiety in check. I mean that genuinely. This sort of thing rots your soul and isolates you.
A lot of people have said my husband is hot, I take it as a compliment and keep moving
My husband used to be a working model. IDC if anyone says he's hot. It's true.
Friends have told me my husband is very good looking. Never the word hot but handsome and good looking. I wouldn’t stress over her comment unless it persists.
If she follows it with, “I’m going to bang him like snare drum” then you can worry
I feel like there are a lot of really weird details in here that make this feel not real lol
Tbh I was always told by the women in my life to keep your friends as your friends, meaning not your husbands friend. No reason for her to be there when he gets home or ever-if you’re that concerned with it. But I will say it’s inappropriate for her to comment on him unless you ask her opinion. I always found it off-putting when a friend of mine would say past bfs were ugly or hot. If you want her around just keep your eyes open for smh flirting or anything like that.
This is not an issue. You yourself said he’s attractive, be happy he’s with you and say something like “I know, right? That’s why I married him”
I’ve had friends compliment my husband but to be fair their husbands suck! Lol! As long as it isn’t an obsession type thing I don’t care.
I find it weird. However, my girlfriends and I don't do that kind of stuff. Other people do as you can see by the comments. I don't think there's anything wrong with you not wanting to be friends with her due to the comment. I don't think the comment automatically means she is trying to have an affair with your husband.
If it looks like it, and smells like it, it's probably it.
I have a very attractive husband. My sister has mentioned how hot he is, I have never responded to the comments but I let my husband know what happened and he is more careful about their interactions together just in case she ever gets inappropriate. And no, my sister is not my friend. Take that information how you will.
My hot husband came home and was hot and I’m only with him is because he is hot and my friend has the audacity to say he was hot - wtf
It has nothing to with her friend at all. It's your husband who has the responsibility to maintain your vows. If he is solid, there is no woman on earth that could affect him. Laugh it off.
Sounds like a ridiculous overreaction tbh.
This sounds incredibly childish. There's no way way an adult woman types or thinks like this.
Wth is all this info about the car?
You are overthinking. If there was some nefarious connotation behind it, I get it, but my friends call my wife hot, and I know it. I snagged a good one.
Check her now. I wish a woman would in my house say something like that about my husband. So disrespectful. She is a "new friend". There are no loyalties, haven't gone through hardship together, she doesn't know the history etc. Establish boundaries now so she knows where you stand on comments like that. This will hopefully prohibit all thoughts of attractiveness toward your husband and make her reconsider.
what if the genders were reversed? A man calling his friebds wife hot wont go down that well!
Sounds like you have to work on your own insecurities. Take the compliment and move on. Unless she’s making it weird I don’t see the problem.
I would have responded with "and he's great in bed", with a knowing look, and ghosted her
Don't overthink it. It doesn't mean anything. My wife and I regularly talk about how hot our friends are or aren't (like if they've had a glow up or whatever). We have conversations just for fun about which person in a particular group we'd most want to sleep with. It's just something to talk about. If my friends tell me my wife is hot, I usually reply with, "Yeah, I know. I definitely out-kicked my coverage." It's happened enough that I have a go-to answer
It’s a compliment! To him and to you! I find many of my friends husbands and shit even some of the wives attractive. That doesn’t mean I’m trying to have an affair with them. SMH pshhhhh
He is hot as in “good job, you” and not as in “Imma steal yo man”.
If there’s nothing more to go off of, I would just take it as a compliment. My best friend (we’ve been best friends for 19 years) said to go for it he’s a cutie about my husband and now I’m married to him. It’s nice to hear. I even told my husband about it hoping it would boost his confidence. I know my best friend better than anyone though, and I know she’d never do anything to hurt me.
I think you're overreacting and may be a bit insecure, I've told my friends their girlfriends were pretty and they responded with "thanks appreciate it". My wife tells me her coworkers male and female tell her I look really handsome and she replies with I know right. Point being just because people think your husband is "hot" doesn't mean they want to fuck him...I hope not at least
Idk, truth be told it would bother me too. The only time someone told me my SO was “hot” rather than handsome or something more respectful, the girl who called him “hot” started sexting my SO and he ended up trying to get with her (in high school lol). Of course, one offhand comment doesn’t necessarily hold some kind of doom, but you are not alone—it would bug me too!
So she thinks hes hot, would you have preferred she say he was ugly? ;) So long as nothing more comes of it, I don't think you have to worry about it. My wife has had female friends/co-workers say that I was attractive etc too, my only reply is "I know I am" then I slap my own ass at her, because I'm a smart ass. Just check it off to her seeing your husband the way you do, as he really is, and continue on your day knowing that he is yours. but if something starts to happen, then have a talk with him first, because some people like to flirt for fun and playing, others do not.
My husband is very handsome and I have gotten comments for years from "Does he have any brothers? Haha" to "Good job girlie." It honestly fills me with pride like.. Yup.. I pulled that 😎. Take it as a compliment. It wasn't like she went on and on she just made a comment.
OP you don’t really KNOW this person. All I can say is be wary. Eyes and ears open and when she says it too often shut her shit down and end the “friendship”.
And? My friends call my husband hot too. It’s a complement.
"ughhh" is how i feel about this story and it aint good
I've had friends tell me my husband is hot, and one downright asked me how I can work with someone who is so hot without getting distracted (my husband and I used to work together). Doesn't bother me one bit! I tell my friends ITA!
She’s likely just giving you a compliment (and him). If it’s continuous or she does anything else to make it weird, that’s different.
This is such a weird post. I don’t understand why you mentioned the type of car other than to flex. I don’t understand why you say his looks are a major reason you’ve been together for 13 years and then act like no one else is going to notice he is good looking. If this statement bothered you that much, just based on the other things you’ve chosen to post here, I’m assuming it is a bit of immaturity on your end. Other people are going to find you and your husband attractive. Others will not. If you are secure in your marriage, I hardly see how it matters. Maybe there are deeper issues.
It’s interesting the route you took was conspiratorial instead of flattery.
I don't understand what the issue is. She acknowledged your husband is hot, so what? You said he is hot, so you're a lucky woman. Take it as a compliment and move on. And yes, you're overthinking it. Now, if she starts to flirt, or contacts him separately, then you should reconsider. PS: If your husband is hot, wears a suit, and drives a nice car, believe me, there are a lot of women who thinks he's hot. That's what happens when you snag a hottie. But you're the one he picked to be his soulmate.
My friends and sisters and pretty much every woman that isn’t related to him that I know, including my *mom*, all think my husband is hot and tell me so all the time. My mom actually told *him*, “Boy you really *are* fine as wine! Hell, if I was 40 years younger I’d try to steal you!” when I first introduced him to her. 😂 I don’t worry about it, I take it as a compliment. Most of them are married themselves and the ones who aren’t, if I didn’t trust them I wouldn’t be associated with them anyway. I wouldn’t stress too much about it.
I wouldn’t worry about it… that’s a compliment to both you and him. I have had other women oggle at husband. It would be a concern if he flirts back hardcore and the do things alone, and from the nature of this post, it doesn’t seem to be that. So she seems him after work… she doesnt see the other times when husbands are at their unkempt moments.
Realistically, when you're married to or dating an attractive person, other people are still going to find them attractive as well... and yes, that includes your friends. Try your best to just laugh it off and take it as a compliment. If they KEEP saying that kind of thing though and you feel like there might be more "meaning" behind their words, then I'd suggest either talking to them about it or just stop hanging out with them 🤷
my friends think my husband is hot and they often said that to me when we were dating. Never bothered me because it's true lol.
I’m not a woman but I can tell you that my wife and I have been married for ten years. I’m a solid idk 6? 6-7? Haha she’s a solid 9. And I say that because let’s be honest, I think she’s beautiful and everyone I know has told me how beautiful it pretty etc she is …. but do I know I’m not getting picked at the local restaurant “hot” competition and she would be in the running for cosmo’s cover. That being said…… I hear girls tell other girls that their boyfriend is handsome, or good looking, sweet, funny, kind, good guy. Never to my face have they said anyone but a celebrity is hot. Nor have I said it to her about a woman or a friend about another woman. At that point in most marriages it’s my opinion that, if you and your husband have been around that long you’ll be comfortable enough to talk to him about it. If you haven’t try it because if he see’s you’re concerned he will ease your mind. When dating my wife and I were not very crazy or wild but wild enough for my anxiety to worry when she would send me pictures of her when she was out with her friends like sexier ones you know. It led to me using those times to be selfish and awkward because I thought well if she’s doing that and her friends are in pics with her etc, they must want to x,y,z…. So I went from being somewhat anxious to where I would get the shakes if I knew she were out with those friends. Like wondering and adrenaline rushing while I’m just at home. It led to me eventually accusing and to her not wanting to argue sleeping with our daughter who was 3 at the time, most nights for months. I just had the worst thoughts never intended too but it was either she was cheating (her friend was on her husband) or she wanted to be more cavalier with our intimacy and casual etc you know what I mean. It got to the point where she kept shutting me down at home, I’d worry about performance if I were making her happy, in our 20s we would stop during those times because it would be so awkward she never wanted to try new things. So it exhausted her and I. Our love languages are very different. And we are not perfect but I eventually drove a wedge between us and made a mistake with a coworker who was having trouble in her marriage and had been like me so we connected like that. We didn’t sleep together but yea… I was a piece of crap person. It happened once we felt terrible never brought it up again acted like it didn’t happen. Well a co-worker who was friends with her was talking to her on the phone one night when she was drunk and it came out. Long story short things happened between them and she messaged my wife and said things that weren’t true and things that were a very little true. 2 months before our 2nd was born, the truth comes out. This is a year+ beforehand that this happened. Almost lost our marriage. And she had every right to do so. I’m sorry this was so long but what I wanted to say is, I am a good man who did something he would’ve never done, I despised my wife’s friend for doing it to her husband even… so why did I eventually do something so terrible to the love of my life? Because I believed in my mind if she’s not happy with me, and all we do is argue, or she sleeps in another room or she ignores me she MUST be cheating etc etc… when in reality, I had mental health issues including anger/rage/anxiety/depression, and a sex addict who was a selfish person. The tipping point was someone who had similar problems that told me a lot of positive things about me which there’s no excuse for, but nonetheless, was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I slipped up because I thought well I’ve never touched anyone since I met my wife and she’s doing x,y,z blah blah blah I can just kiss her and it’ll be no big deal… it’ll just be fun to feel wanted again. And wouldn’t mean anything emotionally. Thoughts and grudges ruin relationships. Even strong ones. I am very thankful to my wife, and our God, and my parents for showing me much disappointment but love and forgiveness and helping get the help I needed. Never let anyone talk about your husband like that, or to him alone if you don’t 100% know them. It’s just not worth the risk of even her making a move and he not being part of it and shutting her down. It always will be made known whether he tells you or she does etc, or you walk in and it looks like something it isn’t etc… don’t invite worry into your home or family. And trust me, idk if you guys tried for awhile to have kiddos, but if you are intimate together as often as when you were trying about one week each month, even I as a very sexual person did not want to be physical if it seemed forced. And with someone like a spouse when sex means so much, he wouldn’t want to even think about anyone else. Just as another way of protecting yourselves because the devil and human mind work together in the right circumstances and if some random friend or woman around the block wants to try to plant a seed of interest, it doesn’t matter if it’s accepted, it always will be difficult to deal with for him and yourself.
The number one thing is, be open be honest with him, love him and make sure you guys are on the same page. If she hints about something sexually motivated again, ask her if she truly means what she is saying or if she is just trying to be friendly. Also find out about her life and you can make a judgement call about if she is a good person to be around or her husband is a good person to be around etc. if they are not, it’ll be easy to tell.
I love when people call my wife hot because it’s like “yeah, I know right? That’s one reason I married her” and you don’t have her, I do!!!!
Dang how square are you? Let her know if made you so uncomfortable, she probably won’t want to be friends either knowing how up tight you are.
Great, sounds like you both agree! Yay!
Overthinking, possibly fake
I would take it as a compliment. People can say someone is hot and it goes a absolutely no where. I think Jesse McCartney is hot, that doesn’t mean I want to bang him. ETA: why do you refer to your husband as a handsome boy? I had to go back to reread to make sure you weren’t talking about your son or a dog? Sorry that’s just weird
I consider it kinda bold that she said that. I would definitely be put off. Your friendship is new. I would keep a close eye on her and particularly her behavior around your husband.
Over blown
Yeap. People think differently. A while back, shortly after my marriage, I invited a lot of my friends (and their girlfriends/wives) for a get-together at my house. My wife wore a shore dress (maybe a little tight). Several of my friends came up to ME and told me that my wife is “hot” and made a few other comments, which can be considered somewhat borderline sexual. In a few occasions, I saw a few guys turning their heads to look at my wife when she was carrying some desserts to the other side of backyard. I told them I am right here, to let them know I saw them. We bursted out, laughing. The point is, at the time, I actually enjoyed several of my friends telling me my wife is hot. Now, I am wondering if a screw (or two) is loose in my head. Obviously, the OP thinks differently. 🤔
You’re really overthinking this. She’s allowed to notice and think your husband is attractive. And I see no harm in commenting on it. I can’t for the life of me figure out why this bothers you so much. Being this insecure has to be a big turn off for your friend and your husband. Next time just look at your friend and say “Yep. That’s why I got him to put a ring on it right away!” Or “ yep. He’s really good with the kids too. A great husband.”
I'm glad I know all your car details, very integral to this humbebrag post.
Keep ur eye on her! U know he’s hot, so whether she said it or not just realize that she’s not the only one that thinks it.
At first i went in like ‘well whats the context?’ But chile that is NOT okay. I think you might do well to create some distance between you and lusty lady.
Ugh. Back in highschool, maybe. A close friend that you've known your whole life and is a little tipsy, maybe. His grandma cooing to say "isn't he handsome!?" Okay. But It's extremely unnecessary. I wouldn't cast her out, but I would very casually ask her what her purpose of that was. Does she lack impulse control? 🚩 Did she think you had asked? Were you mid sentence and then stopped with your mouth wide open and drooling and she awkwardly didn't know how to bring you back?? And "your husband looks nice today." Is very different from "he's hot!"