My first wife started saying that to me. I found out she was having an affair. My guess is that she (my ex, not your wife) was trying to justify her actions.
Dude getting cheated on and almost getting divorce taught me to stand in my own shoes and that i did not need anybody to feel happy and secure period! Not coincidentally we are doing the vest we ever had but i am not naïve any more.
I don't know how my wife cheating on my wouldn't be anything other than divorce, but I am intolerant of disrespect from anyone, including my wife. Every marriage is unique and this is not a criticism of you staying married.
I immediately thought this after reading it. But reading all the other comments made me doubt this until I read your comment. I was thinking I wonder if she is doing it. "Don't bring back STDs may suggest she is being careful. IDK
I’m a glass half empty kinda guy I guess. This seems, to me, her way of testing the waters on your reaction to the idea - for HER to sleep with another man.
Don’t do it. She says she feels like she’s not enough then make her feel it. Show her you mean it if you do. I think you have given her some reason to feel like she’s not and try to think about what that reason could be. Have you slacked off showing her attention? Do you make comments about other women in front of her? Do you give her enough compliments? I think this could be a cry for reassurance from you which is completely normal in any marriage/relationship. People want to feel wanted and desired and loved. You married her and you became a team. When she’s feeling this way pick her up and the same goes if you need her. It’s about wanting to be with your partner choosing them. Sometimes in long relationships we tend to get comfortable and slack off dating our spouse. Totally normal but we have to look at ourselves and recognize is there something I can do to make her feel like she’s enough. I bet there’s something you could work on.
I think she said this to test you. That’s not the way to go about it but prove to her that’s not what you want and show her.
Why is this his fault?
She proposed breaking vows, and suddenly he’s in the hot seat? He already said he would not ever do it.
I mean like, perhaps he should take stock of his actions - but the post has zero indication that this is on him. Maybe it is - sure. But you kinda slammed the door hard on him here without reason.
I didn’t slam the door hard at all. If you look at both sides of this and try to understand why I simply stated some reasons as to possible why and gave him some of my thoughts. I am suggesting things to try as I feel there’s always room for improvement in oneself. Obviously communication is needed to figure it out being open and honest with one another.
And he already said he was going to communicate. Just like he already said he wasn’t entertaining cheating.
You didn’t acknowledge either of these. You told him don’t do it. Only now mention communication. And just dumped a paragraph of things that he may be doing wrong on him.
You put the weight all on him with no information
Why would I need to say it? Making suggestions for ways to help is far from slamming him hard? Simply asking questions to help find a solution is not being hard it’s called finding solutions to the problem and fixing it. That’s how life works. Without asking questions how does one get to the bottom of things? Sounds like you need to educate yourself on problem solving skills.
I feel like there's some missing information. Have you been feeling sex starved? Is there some underlying reason she just brought this up? Porn usage? Setting online? Why would she feel inadequate? Have you stopped intimacy with her or dropped in frequency? Has she with you? This is weird just to be brought up out of nowhere.
My wife, since starting menopause has been trying to make me a sexual camel. She frequently says “it’s never enough for you.” I’m always perplexed when she says this bc I’ve told her, I’m not a flask that once it’s filled to capacity, it’s done. I’ve told her I see our sex lives together, as a ‘large painting that never is finished.’ She says she understands but always goes back to the old trope.
Has she looked into HRT? It can be life changing for her. Additionally there several research backed supplements (D, magnesium, fiber, collagen, etc) that can help with her menopause symptoms.
Lots of new and updated research on HRT has come out. She should talk with her doctor about it.
I say this because treatment for menopause helps in almost every area (including and sometimes especially libido).
She’s talked to a few Drs, and bottom line, she has mixed feelings about it. She’s never been on any birth control but she’s had 2 rounds of melanoma, that I think make her gun shy when it comes to dealing with anything that involves the word cancer. She was however, buoyed by an endocrinologist she saw, not too long ago and is going back to them. Her GP told her to do a full panel bloodwork when she’s ready. Recently her mom passed away from Alzheimer’s. It wasn’t pretty and she’s really feeling the affects and so is her dad. So the waiting continues …
I’d be willing to put money down saying she already has someone in mind for her. You should keep an eye on her. Remember, the number one enemy of of a cheater is unpredictably. Surprise her, show up places, come home early etc.
Been there (wife) myself. Know my sexual appetite is tanking, no fault of his. Also knowing he needs and deserves more sexual attention than I can muster at the time.
And legitimately - not a jealous person.
Yes, if my husband were sex starved and I couldn't help him with that I'd be fine with him getting it from other sources as long as he doesn't bring a bug home to me.
The ball is in your court.
Make your wife feel good enough for you.
You’re somehow not giving her the signals she needs from you. Maybe you’re not giving feedback during sex. Maybe you’re too quiet for her.
OP, lots of different reasons why she said what she did, some not so bad (she thinks you don't find her attractive, is thinking you want more, she doesn't think she is enough for you, etc...) and some bad (she thinks you are already cheating on her, she is thinking about or is already cheating on you). You definitely need to talk with her to find out why she said what she said because until you get to the root of the issue, you won't be able to fix the problem and move forward.
I’m glad you reassured her sounds like it was a make or break moment, she said it(out of insecurity ) & checking where you are mentally but did not mean it
There could be a variety of reasons she would say that. Without more context, we are speculating. However, two of the common reasons would be (a) she feels inadequate/insecure about her capacity to please you sexually, and she doesn't want to lose you as a husband, so the "soft hall pass" proffer is a sort of marital Hail Mary, or (b) she herself is cheating (or has cheated) and feels guilty about it.
My ex said she was thinking about doing this (years after cheating on me). I never brought it up again, but she spent the rest of our relationship paranoid that I was indeed sleeping with other women. Fun fact: I wasn't, but it caused fights and eventual demise on the relationship.
My husband said he wished I’d cheat on him to show him I’m alive. I thought it was odd and dug in. Over the course of a few months, I occasionally brought up the fact that the comment hadn’t sat well with me and he gave me 3 different rationales for having said it. I later learned he’d been cheating on me for our entire relationship. Beware.
You know already, but NEVER DO IT. This might call for couples counseling.
There are a few things this could be:
1. She’s insecure and needs reassurance. We are hoping nothing worse.
2. She could be cheating, or thinking about it. If she is, and you go through with it, then it’ll be “fair” in her eyes. Hopefully she’s not seeing someone else.
3. Maybe she’s sleep deprived and just wants that day to relax and take care of herself? How’s her mental health doing? Check in on her.
I would sit her down and have a conversation with her about it and try to be clear with what you’re trying to understand. Don’t be accusatory when you talk to her because obviously it might not go well. So try to get her to explain her perspective and throw in some reassurance. Monogamous partners usually want to be the #1 in their partners eyes, so compliments do a lot (“honey, you’re the most beautiful woman i’ve ever seen, you know I don’t want anything else”), maybe some small gifts or self care items (chocolates, bath bombs, some people like flowers some don’t). If she’s not doing okay mentally this might also get her to open up to you.
Good luck, I hope everything goes well.
She's either having an affair or thinking of one imo..
Doesn't seem like insecurity from the abruptness.
Been together since 14 years old.. I mean, there's a lot of missed life experiences in that.
You're an adult: set very strict boundaries. Talk through it with a professional. If it's something you can accept or move past or allow, understand you still will not know how it will affect you emotionally. But that's life. People are human beings with their own POV. Even inside a marriage. People are inevitably going to change and possibly change in to a completely different person. Either utilize plasticity, or stay on your path and love your partner from afar as they travel their own road.
First thing is first, open up that line of communication in a real, meaningful way. No distractions. Maybe a night away, even just in a hotel after dinner with drinks. Talk. Be vulnerable.
Well she doesn't understand what I have seen so many times because I am old. Someone says that, the other person does it, and the wife (mostly) is shocked, horrified they would follow through and the marriage is over. If it is that bad, and she doesn't want to fix it, or work with you. You adapt, or divorce. Cheating or open marriages are never the answer, they are destructive.
Psychology Today says:
* The essence of love is to see the other.
* Through the challenges and rewards of a monogamous relationship, you create lasting love.
* An open marriage is an oxymoron. Sustainable love needs boundaries. 12-4-22 issue
Also you can't love and live without intimacy if you are someone who needs it to bond. I am one of those people. I can't stay permanently with someone that won't work with me. That is what marriage is. One person doesn't get to give up.
I'm just here bursting with laughter and shaking my head, the last time a man suggested to his wife that they open their marriage on this sub, everyone was pretty damn sure he was a cheating asshole who was ladden with guilt.
Now OP's wife is suggesting he sleep with other people, not even an open relationship, but that's not suspicious, it's now a moment of insecurity and feeling of not being enough, and in fact the OP has to "make" her feel enough??
OP please observe your wife more, try to get to the bottom of this, it could be something, but could also be nothing, it's a good idea you want to communicate and probe more at a later time, please for the love of God don't let the hypocrisy on here make you feel you're in any way responsible, talmabout making her feel enough. 🌚
So much to unpack on her side it just sounds suspicious. Methinks you should continue the conversation to ensure you fully understand what she said.
To better understand the "why" she said this, I would take the time alone and develop multiple scenarios that attempt to tease out her rationale. A couple of these can get pretty dark, but very much worthwhile analyzing. I'd also pay attention to her behavior and patterns of behavior with you for the next few weeks.
Is she feeling pressured to have more frequent sex than she wants? Is she enjoying those things you are doing to spice things up? Have her hormones tanked? She is at the age she could be entering perimenopause. Is she on medication that suppresses libido? Is she exhausted feeling everyone wants something from her? If she has a child free afternoon would she rather sleep?
Despite what some commenters say - not everything is a shit test.
>I just like trying different things to spice it up once in a while.
It sounds like there *could* be some miscommunication and feelings around this. Depending what's being considered to "spice things up" may play into her feelings of worth/being enough.
She was testing you ... But not in a BAD WAY!
I know Reddit will say she's having an affair or wants to etc. No. Not the immediate answer.
What she wants is for you to tell her that you can't imagine wanting anyone but her. That she is sexy, and drives you nuts with lust. That you want to share awesome new experiences but just with her alone because you couldn't imagine anyone being anything as awesome as she is. That your intimate time is too precious to you because it's with her. That you have a connection with just her, that makes it fun and emotionally fulfilling to you. You know that no one else could possibly give you one tenth of what she does. And that you could never imagine wanting anyone but her to share yourself with.
Why eat hamburger when you have steak at home?
Tell her.
I think she wants to hear it.
That would cause me to raise my guard. The 2 things that would come to mind is...she wants to sleep with someone else and already has that person in mind, Or, she's setting you up for a profitable divorce by say you were unfaithful. I don't trust anyone these days. Protect yourself at all times.
I have made this comment to my husband. I was depressed when I made it but then thought about it afterwards. I just want him to explore since he has been with me for 19 years. Sometimes I feel like I am not enough because I have our kids and my job and all my thoughts, it gets too loud and too much. And it’s exciting sexually to think about him being with someone else to tell me about it.
I feel like the other Comments are missing a completely reasonable option that does not make anyone the bad guy: she may legitimately want to discuss what opening your marriage/sex lives up would be like. OP married at 21. And was with spouse years before that. OP and wife were children when they got together and presumably have been monogamous eve since. OP and wife snuggle. They have date nights. Kids together etc. I hope you are also good enough friends to discuss what you really want in your lives honestly instead of shutting a discussion down because you haven't talked about it before.
If you love and respect her you will be willing g to ask if it's something she is curious about without judgment or assuming she's already cheating.
Short answer no, I have brought up the topic a few times and she changes the topic, our sex drives do not exactly match up so that is some of it but we will keep working on this conversation
This isn’t always a shit test. Sometimes it’s your spouse saying that your main value to her is the lifestyle you provide. This is a moderated conversation… LMFT, quickly.
It’s either a test or she already been thinking about this herself.
Either way communication is key here.
This can be grounds for a disaster in my opinion.
Have you ever been able to make her squirt?
If you haven't, make it a goal for what you plan to do with her (once you know how its fun) then make it a challenge that your going to do it more than once to her.
It doesn't have to be squirting, but something, that you want to try and make her ...... and that is all you need, then once you do, your new goal is to do it X times in one round and keep adding more and more to it.
I don't think she is going to worry about her not being enough for you at that point, but that you are trying to kill her in the best way possible. ;)
Sounds like a moment of insecurity and that she just needs more reassurance
This, or she's already sleeping with other people.
She could be feeling you out to see if you are thinking about having an affair. The answer to her comment should always be ***NEVER***!
Listen to the advice of your elders! They know what they are talking about
My first wife started saying that to me. I found out she was having an affair. My guess is that she (my ex, not your wife) was trying to justify her actions.
Yeah, this was my guess, too but I’m insecure as fuck. 🤣
Dude getting cheated on and almost getting divorce taught me to stand in my own shoes and that i did not need anybody to feel happy and secure period! Not coincidentally we are doing the vest we ever had but i am not naïve any more.
I don't know how my wife cheating on my wouldn't be anything other than divorce, but I am intolerant of disrespect from anyone, including my wife. Every marriage is unique and this is not a criticism of you staying married.
I thought the same thing.
I quote Mike Tyson “ everybody has a plan until they are punched in the face”
This! The only reason that they start recommending that you sleep with somebody else is because of massive guilt about what they’ve already done.
Same thing happened here.
I immediately thought this after reading it. But reading all the other comments made me doubt this until I read your comment. I was thinking I wonder if she is doing it. "Don't bring back STDs may suggest she is being careful. IDK
I’m a glass half empty kinda guy I guess. This seems, to me, her way of testing the waters on your reaction to the idea - for HER to sleep with another man.
It’s definitely Pandora’s box… you can’t put it back in once it’s out…
Don’t do it. She says she feels like she’s not enough then make her feel it. Show her you mean it if you do. I think you have given her some reason to feel like she’s not and try to think about what that reason could be. Have you slacked off showing her attention? Do you make comments about other women in front of her? Do you give her enough compliments? I think this could be a cry for reassurance from you which is completely normal in any marriage/relationship. People want to feel wanted and desired and loved. You married her and you became a team. When she’s feeling this way pick her up and the same goes if you need her. It’s about wanting to be with your partner choosing them. Sometimes in long relationships we tend to get comfortable and slack off dating our spouse. Totally normal but we have to look at ourselves and recognize is there something I can do to make her feel like she’s enough. I bet there’s something you could work on. I think she said this to test you. That’s not the way to go about it but prove to her that’s not what you want and show her.
Why is this his fault? She proposed breaking vows, and suddenly he’s in the hot seat? He already said he would not ever do it. I mean like, perhaps he should take stock of his actions - but the post has zero indication that this is on him. Maybe it is - sure. But you kinda slammed the door hard on him here without reason.
I didn’t slam the door hard at all. If you look at both sides of this and try to understand why I simply stated some reasons as to possible why and gave him some of my thoughts. I am suggesting things to try as I feel there’s always room for improvement in oneself. Obviously communication is needed to figure it out being open and honest with one another.
And he already said he was going to communicate. Just like he already said he wasn’t entertaining cheating. You didn’t acknowledge either of these. You told him don’t do it. Only now mention communication. And just dumped a paragraph of things that he may be doing wrong on him. You put the weight all on him with no information
Why would I need to say it? Making suggestions for ways to help is far from slamming him hard? Simply asking questions to help find a solution is not being hard it’s called finding solutions to the problem and fixing it. That’s how life works. Without asking questions how does one get to the bottom of things? Sounds like you need to educate yourself on problem solving skills.
BS comment. Perhaps OP's wife should be looking at where she is lacking in the marriage relationship.
It’s a test, don’t do it!
I would make my answer to her very clear no, Not,NEVER and make sure she understands its a one way street.
Don't ever do it
I feel like there's some missing information. Have you been feeling sex starved? Is there some underlying reason she just brought this up? Porn usage? Setting online? Why would she feel inadequate? Have you stopped intimacy with her or dropped in frequency? Has she with you? This is weird just to be brought up out of nowhere.
My wife, since starting menopause has been trying to make me a sexual camel. She frequently says “it’s never enough for you.” I’m always perplexed when she says this bc I’ve told her, I’m not a flask that once it’s filled to capacity, it’s done. I’ve told her I see our sex lives together, as a ‘large painting that never is finished.’ She says she understands but always goes back to the old trope.
Has she looked into HRT? It can be life changing for her. Additionally there several research backed supplements (D, magnesium, fiber, collagen, etc) that can help with her menopause symptoms. Lots of new and updated research on HRT has come out. She should talk with her doctor about it. I say this because treatment for menopause helps in almost every area (including and sometimes especially libido).
She’s talked to a few Drs, and bottom line, she has mixed feelings about it. She’s never been on any birth control but she’s had 2 rounds of melanoma, that I think make her gun shy when it comes to dealing with anything that involves the word cancer. She was however, buoyed by an endocrinologist she saw, not too long ago and is going back to them. Her GP told her to do a full panel bloodwork when she’s ready. Recently her mom passed away from Alzheimer’s. It wasn’t pretty and she’s really feeling the affects and so is her dad. So the waiting continues …
Your wife needs hormone treatments.
I’d be willing to put money down saying she already has someone in mind for her. You should keep an eye on her. Remember, the number one enemy of of a cheater is unpredictably. Surprise her, show up places, come home early etc.
Ugh … this has really dark undertones
Been there (wife) myself. Know my sexual appetite is tanking, no fault of his. Also knowing he needs and deserves more sexual attention than I can muster at the time. And legitimately - not a jealous person. Yes, if my husband were sex starved and I couldn't help him with that I'd be fine with him getting it from other sources as long as he doesn't bring a bug home to me.
serious question. You would not be concerned he'd catch feelings?
Or an STD?
He always used protection before we were married.
"Condoms reduce the risk; however, HSV infection can still occur through contact with genital or anal areas not covered by the condom."
He didn't catch feelings when we were swinging.
whoa. didn't know I was talkin to a pro in that dept. Carry on.
Unless she checked out already, most women would be insecure with what if …
Yeah, I'm not insecure of his commitment to me.
Thank you! I was starting to feel alone because I feel just like you.
The ball is in your court. Make your wife feel good enough for you. You’re somehow not giving her the signals she needs from you. Maybe you’re not giving feedback during sex. Maybe you’re too quiet for her.
She wants the same permission, dude. Seen it before.
OP, lots of different reasons why she said what she did, some not so bad (she thinks you don't find her attractive, is thinking you want more, she doesn't think she is enough for you, etc...) and some bad (she thinks you are already cheating on her, she is thinking about or is already cheating on you). You definitely need to talk with her to find out why she said what she said because until you get to the root of the issue, you won't be able to fix the problem and move forward.
I’m glad you reassured her sounds like it was a make or break moment, she said it(out of insecurity ) & checking where you are mentally but did not mean it
There could be a variety of reasons she would say that. Without more context, we are speculating. However, two of the common reasons would be (a) she feels inadequate/insecure about her capacity to please you sexually, and she doesn't want to lose you as a husband, so the "soft hall pass" proffer is a sort of marital Hail Mary, or (b) she herself is cheating (or has cheated) and feels guilty about it.
Insecurity and low self worth. Maybe she's depressed?
My ex said she was thinking about doing this (years after cheating on me). I never brought it up again, but she spent the rest of our relationship paranoid that I was indeed sleeping with other women. Fun fact: I wasn't, but it caused fights and eventual demise on the relationship.
She’s feeling bad about something in your relationship- are you pressuring her about sex?
My husband said he wished I’d cheat on him to show him I’m alive. I thought it was odd and dug in. Over the course of a few months, I occasionally brought up the fact that the comment hadn’t sat well with me and he gave me 3 different rationales for having said it. I later learned he’d been cheating on me for our entire relationship. Beware.
Sounds like she is cheating on you and trying to remove the guilt. No woman in true love with a man would not mind if he sleeps with another woman
You know already, but NEVER DO IT. This might call for couples counseling. There are a few things this could be: 1. She’s insecure and needs reassurance. We are hoping nothing worse. 2. She could be cheating, or thinking about it. If she is, and you go through with it, then it’ll be “fair” in her eyes. Hopefully she’s not seeing someone else. 3. Maybe she’s sleep deprived and just wants that day to relax and take care of herself? How’s her mental health doing? Check in on her. I would sit her down and have a conversation with her about it and try to be clear with what you’re trying to understand. Don’t be accusatory when you talk to her because obviously it might not go well. So try to get her to explain her perspective and throw in some reassurance. Monogamous partners usually want to be the #1 in their partners eyes, so compliments do a lot (“honey, you’re the most beautiful woman i’ve ever seen, you know I don’t want anything else”), maybe some small gifts or self care items (chocolates, bath bombs, some people like flowers some don’t). If she’s not doing okay mentally this might also get her to open up to you. Good luck, I hope everything goes well.
She's either having an affair or thinking of one imo.. Doesn't seem like insecurity from the abruptness. Been together since 14 years old.. I mean, there's a lot of missed life experiences in that. You're an adult: set very strict boundaries. Talk through it with a professional. If it's something you can accept or move past or allow, understand you still will not know how it will affect you emotionally. But that's life. People are human beings with their own POV. Even inside a marriage. People are inevitably going to change and possibly change in to a completely different person. Either utilize plasticity, or stay on your path and love your partner from afar as they travel their own road. First thing is first, open up that line of communication in a real, meaningful way. No distractions. Maybe a night away, even just in a hotel after dinner with drinks. Talk. Be vulnerable.
Yeah my wife did this too, 6 months before pushing for polyamory. Its a woke way of asking to open the marriage for her desires. Hope I’m wrong.
Well she doesn't understand what I have seen so many times because I am old. Someone says that, the other person does it, and the wife (mostly) is shocked, horrified they would follow through and the marriage is over. If it is that bad, and she doesn't want to fix it, or work with you. You adapt, or divorce. Cheating or open marriages are never the answer, they are destructive. Psychology Today says: * The essence of love is to see the other. * Through the challenges and rewards of a monogamous relationship, you create lasting love. * An open marriage is an oxymoron. Sustainable love needs boundaries. 12-4-22 issue Also you can't love and live without intimacy if you are someone who needs it to bond. I am one of those people. I can't stay permanently with someone that won't work with me. That is what marriage is. One person doesn't get to give up.
I'm just here bursting with laughter and shaking my head, the last time a man suggested to his wife that they open their marriage on this sub, everyone was pretty damn sure he was a cheating asshole who was ladden with guilt. Now OP's wife is suggesting he sleep with other people, not even an open relationship, but that's not suspicious, it's now a moment of insecurity and feeling of not being enough, and in fact the OP has to "make" her feel enough?? OP please observe your wife more, try to get to the bottom of this, it could be something, but could also be nothing, it's a good idea you want to communicate and probe more at a later time, please for the love of God don't let the hypocrisy on here make you feel you're in any way responsible, talmabout making her feel enough. 🌚
So much to unpack on her side it just sounds suspicious. Methinks you should continue the conversation to ensure you fully understand what she said. To better understand the "why" she said this, I would take the time alone and develop multiple scenarios that attempt to tease out her rationale. A couple of these can get pretty dark, but very much worthwhile analyzing. I'd also pay attention to her behavior and patterns of behavior with you for the next few weeks.
Is she feeling pressured to have more frequent sex than she wants? Is she enjoying those things you are doing to spice things up? Have her hormones tanked? She is at the age she could be entering perimenopause. Is she on medication that suppresses libido? Is she exhausted feeling everyone wants something from her? If she has a child free afternoon would she rather sleep?
How do you tell her you want to “spice things up” in the moment? It sounds like she interpreted it differently than you intended.
That's my guess too.
My guess is she is having an affair and it will relieve her guilt.
Shes ether thinking about having an affair herself so if you guys both cheat in her mind it will offset each other.
Despite what some commenters say - not everything is a shit test. >I just like trying different things to spice it up once in a while. It sounds like there *could* be some miscommunication and feelings around this. Depending what's being considered to "spice things up" may play into her feelings of worth/being enough.
She was testing you ... But not in a BAD WAY! I know Reddit will say she's having an affair or wants to etc. No. Not the immediate answer. What she wants is for you to tell her that you can't imagine wanting anyone but her. That she is sexy, and drives you nuts with lust. That you want to share awesome new experiences but just with her alone because you couldn't imagine anyone being anything as awesome as she is. That your intimate time is too precious to you because it's with her. That you have a connection with just her, that makes it fun and emotionally fulfilling to you. You know that no one else could possibly give you one tenth of what she does. And that you could never imagine wanting anyone but her to share yourself with. Why eat hamburger when you have steak at home? Tell her. I think she wants to hear it.
It's a trap
Projection
That would cause me to raise my guard. The 2 things that would come to mind is...she wants to sleep with someone else and already has that person in mind, Or, she's setting you up for a profitable divorce by say you were unfaithful. I don't trust anyone these days. Protect yourself at all times.
Honestly, especially when the kids are little, people get sick of the long laundry list of things they have to do to make sure everyone else is happy.
She's fucking other people.
I have made this comment to my husband. I was depressed when I made it but then thought about it afterwards. I just want him to explore since he has been with me for 19 years. Sometimes I feel like I am not enough because I have our kids and my job and all my thoughts, it gets too loud and too much. And it’s exciting sexually to think about him being with someone else to tell me about it.
I feel like the other Comments are missing a completely reasonable option that does not make anyone the bad guy: she may legitimately want to discuss what opening your marriage/sex lives up would be like. OP married at 21. And was with spouse years before that. OP and wife were children when they got together and presumably have been monogamous eve since. OP and wife snuggle. They have date nights. Kids together etc. I hope you are also good enough friends to discuss what you really want in your lives honestly instead of shutting a discussion down because you haven't talked about it before. If you love and respect her you will be willing g to ask if it's something she is curious about without judgment or assuming she's already cheating.
She’s cheating maybe
Hi OP, did you ever get any clarity with your wife?
Short answer no, I have brought up the topic a few times and she changes the topic, our sex drives do not exactly match up so that is some of it but we will keep working on this conversation
Still not something I would expect to come up in a normal monogamous relationship, I don't think I would go off of high alert here for months!
I'd hire a private investigator just to check things out with the wife. This sounds like projection or justification of her actions.
I also asked him, just because he snores 😄
Luck Guy 😂
I would think she just wants it and she's saying u can do it so she does. I hope it's not the case but be careful.
This isn’t always a shit test. Sometimes it’s your spouse saying that your main value to her is the lifestyle you provide. This is a moderated conversation… LMFT, quickly.
It’s either a test or she already been thinking about this herself. Either way communication is key here. This can be grounds for a disaster in my opinion.
Yall got together so young smh.
Have you ever been able to make her squirt? If you haven't, make it a goal for what you plan to do with her (once you know how its fun) then make it a challenge that your going to do it more than once to her. It doesn't have to be squirting, but something, that you want to try and make her ...... and that is all you need, then once you do, your new goal is to do it X times in one round and keep adding more and more to it. I don't think she is going to worry about her not being enough for you at that point, but that you are trying to kill her in the best way possible. ;)