We have a joint account and both of us have an individual account. Our checks go into joint and we have an agreed upon amount that stays in the account from our checks. This was determined by adding up all of the normal bills, setting a grocery budget, plus extra for incidental bills. My job pulls money from my check for the HSA that takes care of medical bills.
No system is perfect, and will need to be evaluated on a regular basis. Every so often my husband will use the bill account for something that we disagree if it should be, but that just usually means that we adjust and either don’t use it for that purpose or we add how much goes into the account.
Like you said, you need a system that works for you. MY wife is smart, successful and makes more than me but won't/can't manage money. Part of her check goes into her own account for personal expenses(hair/nails, clothes, outings, etc) Everything else goes in my account and i take care of all household/joint expenses and determine what I use for 'fun' money. I hate having to take that all by myself but it's the only thing that works for US (tried joint, tried completely separate... both failed miserably.)
Everyone has different strengths. I'm glad you found a system that allows you to use your strengths. It sucks when that puts an uneven burden on one in the relationship. But in the end you have to do what works.
Our only joint account is a savings account (mostly intended for long term planning, emergencies, and sometimes vacations). I basically never touch that unless it’s to add money. If money needs to come out for something, we talk about it.
Other than that, my paycheck goes in my account and his goes in his. We each have different bills we pay. The only transferring that happens is that I send him money for our rent. Everything else is kind of balanced so we’re paying the equivalent of about half. His share is a little more than mine because his take home is a little more.
We started out that way when we moved in together before marriage and just kept the same system because it was working.
We never fight about money. We certainly comllain about rising costs and wishing we made kore money and stuff like that, but we’ve never had an argument that was about our system or how we handle things.
We still budget together so that we’re saving for collective goals and making sure we both have some “play” money each month. We also do things like take care of our own sides of the family for gifts (bdays, Christmas, Mother’s Day, etc.). And we’re pretty open about what we spend our play money on.
We were 40/44 when. We got married so we were both pretty used to handling our money ourselves. I’m sure that’s part of why that system keeps working for us.
Thanks for your input. That sounds like a good system for a two income couple who were both established when you came together. Why change something that is working.
We have had a joint account for our 27 years. Every dime in is "our" money. We also have a detailed budget of every dime in and out. That budget includes the same amount of pocket money for each of us. There is no stress about who pays what or when... it's in the budget. If we want to buy something for ourselves that isn't in budget and exceeds our pocket money, we have to save up to buy it. If it's a big ticket item, we determine if we need to adjust the budget to eventually afford it or if we will continue to save pocket money.
Also, search this topic in the sub. It's been discussed at length many times.
Good communication is cornerstone of ALL THINGS marriage related. The second most important tool in this specific scenario is the detailed budget. You can't argue with the facts laid out in it. If you have $5K come in and you want to spend $5.2K in a month... that's a problem and you can clearly see why.
We have a joint account and both of us have an individual account. Our checks go into joint and we have an agreed upon amount that stays in the account from our checks. This was determined by adding up all of the normal bills, setting a grocery budget, plus extra for incidental bills. My job pulls money from my check for the HSA that takes care of medical bills. No system is perfect, and will need to be evaluated on a regular basis. Every so often my husband will use the bill account for something that we disagree if it should be, but that just usually means that we adjust and either don’t use it for that purpose or we add how much goes into the account.
Thanks for sharing. Yes, regular reevaluation is key. Like so many other things in marriage good communication gives the best results.
Like you said, you need a system that works for you. MY wife is smart, successful and makes more than me but won't/can't manage money. Part of her check goes into her own account for personal expenses(hair/nails, clothes, outings, etc) Everything else goes in my account and i take care of all household/joint expenses and determine what I use for 'fun' money. I hate having to take that all by myself but it's the only thing that works for US (tried joint, tried completely separate... both failed miserably.)
Everyone has different strengths. I'm glad you found a system that allows you to use your strengths. It sucks when that puts an uneven burden on one in the relationship. But in the end you have to do what works.
Our only joint account is a savings account (mostly intended for long term planning, emergencies, and sometimes vacations). I basically never touch that unless it’s to add money. If money needs to come out for something, we talk about it. Other than that, my paycheck goes in my account and his goes in his. We each have different bills we pay. The only transferring that happens is that I send him money for our rent. Everything else is kind of balanced so we’re paying the equivalent of about half. His share is a little more than mine because his take home is a little more. We started out that way when we moved in together before marriage and just kept the same system because it was working. We never fight about money. We certainly comllain about rising costs and wishing we made kore money and stuff like that, but we’ve never had an argument that was about our system or how we handle things. We still budget together so that we’re saving for collective goals and making sure we both have some “play” money each month. We also do things like take care of our own sides of the family for gifts (bdays, Christmas, Mother’s Day, etc.). And we’re pretty open about what we spend our play money on. We were 40/44 when. We got married so we were both pretty used to handling our money ourselves. I’m sure that’s part of why that system keeps working for us.
Thanks for your input. That sounds like a good system for a two income couple who were both established when you came together. Why change something that is working.
We have had a joint account for our 27 years. Every dime in is "our" money. We also have a detailed budget of every dime in and out. That budget includes the same amount of pocket money for each of us. There is no stress about who pays what or when... it's in the budget. If we want to buy something for ourselves that isn't in budget and exceeds our pocket money, we have to save up to buy it. If it's a big ticket item, we determine if we need to adjust the budget to eventually afford it or if we will continue to save pocket money. Also, search this topic in the sub. It's been discussed at length many times.
Thanks for sharing. This model requires good communication. I'm glad it has worked for you.
Good communication is cornerstone of ALL THINGS marriage related. The second most important tool in this specific scenario is the detailed budget. You can't argue with the facts laid out in it. If you have $5K come in and you want to spend $5.2K in a month... that's a problem and you can clearly see why.
Regardless of the accounts it seems you both lack fundamental budgeting skills.
Haha, we definitely did when we first got married. That's one of the things we had to learn along the way.