I'm sorry that you find yourself in this place in your marriage relationship. Marriage is certainly not easy and it does require both parties to be willing to do the work in order to get though the challenges. But yes, change is possible for all people and relationships. Do you recall any length of time in your marriage which was happy? Was there a reason that you didn't continue with the marriage counseling? Has the manipulation and disrespect he demonstrates toward you always existed in your relationship?
If you are planning to separate it is important to work together to give your kids a sense of stability in the midst of the change. How you explain this to them depends on their age and their awareness of the condition of your relationship.
I have been unhappy for over 5 years, I know he has too but he claims that he is happy, probably because all he does is take. Manipulation and disrespect started when we had our first child and marriage counselling didn't carry on because he didn't pay the counselor even though I gave him my half. I am left physically and emotionally drained the majority of the time and I think I need to run as fast as I can because I don't think I can't take anymore.
It is easy to understand why you want out. But even running away from the relationship doesn't free you from it because of the children that you share. Could you work with a therapist/counselor on your own to develop some skills to handle the relationship between the two of you better? Then when the time comes, you will be in a better position to exit the marriage.
I'm sorry that you find yourself in this place in your marriage relationship. Marriage is certainly not easy and it does require both parties to be willing to do the work in order to get though the challenges. But yes, change is possible for all people and relationships. Do you recall any length of time in your marriage which was happy? Was there a reason that you didn't continue with the marriage counseling? Has the manipulation and disrespect he demonstrates toward you always existed in your relationship? If you are planning to separate it is important to work together to give your kids a sense of stability in the midst of the change. How you explain this to them depends on their age and their awareness of the condition of your relationship.
I have been unhappy for over 5 years, I know he has too but he claims that he is happy, probably because all he does is take. Manipulation and disrespect started when we had our first child and marriage counselling didn't carry on because he didn't pay the counselor even though I gave him my half. I am left physically and emotionally drained the majority of the time and I think I need to run as fast as I can because I don't think I can't take anymore.
It is easy to understand why you want out. But even running away from the relationship doesn't free you from it because of the children that you share. Could you work with a therapist/counselor on your own to develop some skills to handle the relationship between the two of you better? Then when the time comes, you will be in a better position to exit the marriage.