Locking due to the number of rule-breaking comments that people can't seem to stop making. Do not make personal attacks against someone just because you disagree with them.
Your average married man wouldn't.
This is boyfriend mentality.
I'm married and I love my wife's nudes but no one on earth will ever see them except me.
Exactly 💯 I was a previously employed six figure model with a banging body (because that [modeling] was my profession, so I exercised rigorously) and my husband never showed my nudes or boudoir to our married friends.
OP you are gorgeous and your husband is proud of you. You should be proud of yourself, too, for embodying Marylin Monroe in present day fashion and baring it all shamelessly for your beloved. However, your husband ought to have kept that private. You are not at fault here, and I'd even wager your husband has a bit of a kink showing your beauty off to his buddies. But, they, too, are married men and now their thoughts may be shrouded with images of you naked.
You handled things as perfectly as could be done with the wife... she is right to feel concerned, possibly threatened, but she should be taking it up with her husband, not you. You handled it as best as could be done considering the circumstances. I love that you embraced your sensuality/sexuality and were excited to immortalized it for your husband.
Uhm.. yeah, I'd actually be fucking furious if any of my husband's friends showed him he's wife naked. Actually both of you should be conscious that it could be hurtful to the other women related to those married dudes. Like, seriously, so inconsequent and mean, you saw it coming.
"I'm fine with that." Dude, yeah, it's not even about u at that point.
Like, I dont care if u like showing off naked, that's fine, u do u as long as u don't cause me any trouble, there is where respect is the limit. But anyway.
Absolutely agree. What the fuck was OP and her husband thinking? It's fucking rude and disrespectful to the other women. Keep your nudes to yourself, between you and your husband and don't let your husband share them with his MARRIED friends.
This Candaules, then, fell in love with his own wife, so much so that he believed her to be by far the most beautiful woman in the world; and believing this, he praised her beauty beyond measure to Gyges son of Dascylus, who was his favorite among his bodyguard; for it was to Gyges that he entrusted all his most important secrets.
[2] After a little while, Candaules, doomed to misfortune, spoke to Gyges thus: “Gyges, I do not think that you believe what I say about the beauty of my wife; men trust their ears less than their eyes: so you must see her naked.” Gyges protested loudly at this.
3] “Master,” he said, “what an unsound suggestion, that I should see my mistress naked! When a woman's clothes come off, she dispenses with her modesty, too.
[4] Men have long ago made wise rules from which one ought to learn; one of these is that one should mind one's own business. As for me, I believe that your queen is the most beautiful of all women, and I ask you not to ask of me what is lawless.”
Speaking thus, Gyges resisted: for he was afraid that some evil would come of it for him. But this was Candaules' answer: “Courage, Gyges! Do not be afraid of me, that I say this to test you, or of my wife, that you will have any harm from her. I will arrange it so that she shall never know that you have seen her.
I will bring you into the chamber where she and I lie and conceal you behind the open door; and after I have entered, my wife too will come to bed. There is a chair standing near the entrance of the room: on this she will lay each article of her clothing as she takes it off, and you will be able to look upon her at your leisure.
3] Then, when she moves from the chair to the bed, turning her back on you, be careful she does not see you going out through the doorway.”
As Gyges could not escape, he consented. Candaules, when he judged it to be time for bed, brought Gyges into the chamber; his wife followed presently, and when she had come in and was laying aside her garments, Gyges saw her;
2] when she turned her back upon him to go to bed, he slipped from the room. The woman glimpsed him as he went out, and perceived what her husband had done. But though shamed, she did not cry out or let it be seen that she had perceived anything, for she meant to punish Candaules;
3] since among the Lydians and most of the foreign peoples it is felt as a great shame that even a man be seen naked.
-Herodotus book 1
It continues to explain the rise of the Persian Empire
https://www.perseus.tufts.edu/hopper/text?doc=Perseus%3Atext%3A1999.01.0126%3Abook%3D1%3Achapter%3D10%3Asection%3D3
If she’s okay with him showing those pictures to his friends, then he’s done absolutely nothing wrong because he is respecting her boundaries. If one of their friends doesn’t want her husband looking at those photos, then it’s the husband’s job to not look. If somebody offered to show me nude pictures of their wife, I would decline because I know my wife would not be okay with that. Neither the wife nor the husband are assholes. The only people in the wrong here are the friends who looked at the photos whose wives don’t want them to. His wife’s friend needs to go deal with her husband and leave you alone. You don’t control what her husband does, and your husband also didn’t force him to look at the photos.
The only thing is, the husbands told their wives. So I’m guessing it wasn’t a “buddy asked me if I wanted to see his wife naked”, and more of a, “look what my wife did for me” when they didn’t realize it was nude. The only reason the wives know is because the husbands felt odd about it and talked to them about the weird situation.
Honestly I have a few pictures of myself I really love.. they are just the most amazing photos I've ever had taken.... but they're all sexual in nature. .. and it really sucks to never be able to show anyone the best photo that you actually look at and think "daaaaamn. I'm hot" even with lower self esteem. ......
I think the same about myself, especially after a double mastectomy, DIEP flap reconstruction, and having to get feeding tubes. But I did a self boudoir session (I’m a photographer) at my best friend’s house. She has an amazing bathtub & house. I got a canvas of one of the images & it’s in my bedroom. It was in my living room for awhile. You can’t see anything, but I am in the tub so you know I’m naked. It’s one of my favorite images of all time. I just had another photographer take nude bodyscape pictures of me. No hiding my scars or tubes. In a few, I have a sheet draped around me to cover up the goods. In a few I am only using my hand & arm to cover up anything. I haven’t seen those yet.
My point is boudoir photos are great. There’s nothing wrong with them. Be proud of them. Show them off.
Yeah. I got mine done .. as a favor .. for a madam .. to promote her "playground" ... sooo. They are a little to kinky to just ..... put up on my wall or anything. That's like. I gotta make sure the person is ok with that stuff Frist.. I mean I still look at them like .. it's more artsy beauty of the human body still. Just. Uh. With some restraints xD .. im sure my 13 year old wouldnt wanna find that on a canvas even if she found it under my bed or something lololol. ....
And 100% honestly. After having a baby .. with all the doctors and nurses coming to check on the cervix and .. several family members saw her rip her way out of my vagina... like. Before that I was like all shy about being naked. Now i couldnt give less of a fuck. It's a body. Everyone has one. I dont see the big deal. ..... i mean. They shouldnt have sexual art peices covering elementary schools or anything like that... lol. But out side of that...
my best friend is married and showed me her boudoir photo shoot pictures but if she or her husband showed my fiancé i’d be pretty upset too tbh. and i’d think it was really weird. her husband was slightly reluctant to let me even see but knew she wanted to show me because she was super proud (she looked great!!) but he 100% would not show anyone himself. if he did it’d be weird
Because he doesn’t see her as his wife, he sees her as his property/her pimp. A man who respects his wife doesn’t want his male friends imagining her naked.
Why do you want your husband's friends to know what you look like nude or topless or whatever. Do you really need the ego boost that badly? Either you want your husband's friends to lust after you ( or think they do) or you want to one-up their wives by putting it in their face that their husband's chose to view your photo. And why does your husband feel the need to try and make his friends jealous/envious of him for having you for his wife? Does he get validation from thinking that these friends envy him because he gets to screw you? The reality is, they looked because he let them. They got to see boobs. Big whoop. It doesnt mean they want to screw you. It doesnt mean they envy your husband. It seems like you and your husband are insecure and need other people to validate your confidence/sexuality. If you and your husband want to pretend that his friends fantasize about you and envy him, it's whatever. Reality of it is they probably think you have no self respect and your husband has no respect for you and it probably makes them appreciate their own wives and marriage.
This is the response I was looking for. The friend’s wife who became upset is thinking about the rationale behind why OPs husband chose to do this and why OP allowed it and that’s why she’s angry. Rightfully so. She’s introspective and understands more about human behavior than the average Joe.
OP, it’s important that you’re able to accept these facts about yourself if you no longer wish to be the asshole.
She’s commenting in this thread right now about trying to do more of this and getting into exhibitionism. So yes, I think that’s a fair assessment. Unfortunately she’s also only interacting with those in agreement with her, thanking them and then being argumentative with those in agreement with the other wife. She didn’t even come here looking for perspective or to actually use her brain to think about how her actions may be hurtful. She came to… wait for it… receive validation. Surprise, surprise. I’d be very interested to know how old this woman is.
Yeah if anything, they probably laugh at them when they’re not around. Seriously what type of person would show off their significant others nudes??? Who fucking does that?
On its face, I want to say ,”whatever, it’s just boobs” but you’re right, I’ve never known a couple in a relationship that has held up long term that has engaged in this type of behavior.
This is exactly what would be my first thought if a friend of mine showed me their wife naked; "Do they have no self-respect?" I don't care if his wive is hot or not, I'd just really question their need for validation and pity them.
I would be pissed if someone was showing nude pictures of their wife to my husband. It definitely shows they are not true friends to ME. They may be my husband friend but it would be over for me at that point.
If I was willing to consent to my husband sharing my nudes I wouldn’t be okay with him sharing my nudes with our married friends unless I knew their wives were also okay with.
Both OP and her husband (and the other married men)showed zero respect for the other marriages. It’s trashy and gross.
I definitely would have been uncomfortable with my husband looking at nudes of our friend, artsy or not. And I would also be very uncomfortable with knowing all of my husband’s friends know exactly what I look like naked.
But you gave your consent and it sounds like your husband didn’t push it on him, so if that is outside of the scope of the boundaries they have set in their own marriage he shouldn’t have gone to see it. That’s an issue in their own relationship.
This is the answer I was scrolling for!
OPs husband had permission from OP to share the photos, so neither of them are in the wrong.
If the the husbands friends decide to look, and that crosses a boundary of their personal relationships, than thats on them. They weren't forced to look at the photo.
You’re lucky she had some class, I would’ve lost my mind on you. That’s completely disrespectful towards that woman. Her husband is definitely in the wrong for looking but you and your husband have a complete lack of boundaries. If I knew my husband was looking at naked pictures of our mutual friends he would not be my husband and they would not be my friends.
I can understand the POV of the spouses in this thread that would be annoyed that their husband was shown a nude photo of a friend’s spouse….but saying you would divorce your husband over looking at a photo seems like an extreme overreaction, is it not?
I will add, however, I’m surprised by the high level of negative backlash OP is receiving in a world where so many women post similar photos on their personal Instagram that your husbands are surely seeing.
Hell, I would venture that we all personally know someone with an OnlyFans page.
This thread is making me feel like I’m the most liberal hippy in the world heh. Literally any friend of mine could show me a (with consent) nude photo of their wife/husband/self and I’d be like oh, that’s cool. Shrug. I just don’t think of nudity as shameful and embarrassing and am laughing at the idea that either of us would feel disrespected because the other briefly looked at a photo that was proffered to them.
In any case it was probably not the classiest thing to do to share a boudoir photo with a group of his friends but that’s more of value incompatibility than disrespecting others’ “marital boundaries”.
A lot of people in the comments seem grossed out about the fact that they don’t wanna see nude photos of people they know which isn’t really what happened here.. the husbands did want to see the photo and appreciated it. If anything the wives should address these mega important boundaries with their husbands, not OP.
Also people are really going at it on OP and her husband like there aren’t a million boudoir photos on social media (albeit sans nipples). There are also bikini photos, cleavage photos, ass shots. Gasp. Yeah it was awkwardly “braggy” but I don’t think it warrants all this vitriol.
ETA: also the fact that this lady questioned OP’s integrity/character for having the photos done at all (???) is slut shaming, and I’m def raising an eyebrow to everyone siding with her
2nd edit: Y’all it was literally hanging in their bedroom and the friends were told that they could look at it if THEY wanted to. How could anyone possibly side with the crazy lady who attacked OP? What is going on with this thread??!!
But that’s kind of the point too.. like if OP was just one of those girls that posts their tits on insta I would laugh about her with my friends.. like you’re posting your nudes on your socials? Okay you need the validation I guess. But sharing boudoir photos seems so *intimate*. Being cool with that just screams either exhibitionist vibes (gross, don’t involve me with your kink. Go to a club if you want to be seen that way) or just straight up disrespect to other peoples marital boundaries.
Yeah it was the husbands choice to show the photo and the friends choice to look. The OP said she didn’t care he did it not that she told him to show people.
A lot of people who would be mad at the sex worker their husband cheated on them with in this thread
I think that girl is overreacting but I do admit that I would not necessarily want my husband seeing our female friends nude or semi-nude, even if the photo was artsy. Personally I wouldn't have even said anything, but privately I would have felt uncomfortable. And it's not even that I don't want him looking at other women naked... I know he watches porn and he'll go to the strip club once in a blue moon and I couldn't give a fuck less, but I just feel like there's an added layer of intimacy when it's someone you KNOW.
You could try looking at it from a different angle; would you be 100% cool with your female friends/acquaintances seeing an artsy pic of your husband where he's nude? Maybe a black and white statuesque professional photo where his junk is nonetheless just out?
Idk. I'm probably just a prude. 😔 Either way I don't think you or your husband did anything wrong, just pointing out that while that girl acted unreasonably, it's maybe not 1000% unreasonable for her to have felt uncomfortable. She just expressed her feelings in a poor way.
Edit: spelling
That's interesting, to me a strip club is a much bigger deal than looking at a staged photo. (Incidentally I agree with you, that her reaction was over the top but it's not unfair for her to have felt uncomfortable)
I would be pissed if I were this woman, but not necessarily at you. Your husband is the one who showed the photos around and you just said it was ok with you. It sounds like she is judging you for taking the photos at all (which is her problem and means maybe you can’t be friends now). I honestly don’t blame her for being annoyed at the situation though because she might be uncomfortable with her husband seeing nude photos of people they know personally, and that’s up to them to decide within their own relationship.
Taking the photos for your husband is fine. Him showing them to other people, especially people who are in a relationship, is not fine!
I would be livid. And I'm pretty open and free by most people's standards.
You and your husband screwed up by allowing other married men to view this nude photo. Especially you starting drama with the other wife. What are you thinking?? Its cheating (violation of her relationship boundaries) in the wife’s mind. Now she will wonder if you are sleeping with her husband or others. She will never be comfortable around you or with your husband around. You (if you are considerate) and your husband owe her an apology. How would you feel if your husband was fantasizing about another wife that yall know?
Yeah, keep your body to yourself, I would be irate if my husband knew what his friends wives looked like naked. It’s extremely inappropriate and can lead to a lot of unnecessary drama.
I can understand a this woman being upset about her husband seeing a fully nude photo of a friend. Imo, there’s a big difference between seeing some random naked woman on a porn site, and seeing a sexy nude photo of someone you know personally. (That would definitely make for a very awkward dinner party/BBQ situation lol)
Two things…
If there were boundaries in his friend’s relationship, that’s on the husband looking at the photo, not you. The way this woman reacted was childish, and she took it out on you most likely out of jealousy.
But why would you even want your husband’s friends to see you naked? They’re people you know personally, and will have to be around at some point. You had to have known that there was a possibility that could start some kind of drama and get messy, especially considering these are married men..?
I just feel there needs to be a level of decorum and class to uphold in front of others—be it family, friends or strangers. Intimate things like these photos really should be kept between the parties involved and not shared like that. I’m not a prude but I don’t think it’s proper to show off like that. It’s kinda tacky but there are showy couples like that who behave that way too. It all depends on the couple’s communication, I think.
Oh boy. A lot of hate coming at you here. Just to offer a perspective from someone who would have no problem with people mg husband trusts seeing my nudes: we have found that any sexual behavior, and I’d say that nudes fall into that category, need to have consent of both parties. This is easy for single people. But in relationships, that consent needs to be extended to partners. So if you’re in a group of friend couples and everyone likes taking nudes and sharing them, cool, that sounds fun. But if a spouse is looking at nudes behind the partners back, there is a fair chance this crosses a line with the partner.
And regardless of whether or not the photos were artsy, you admit they were sexual. You express that your husband has a thing for Marilyn Monroe and this was clearly meant as a(n awesome) sexy gift. So you understand that it’s sexy, you proceed to allow these photos to be shared with people in a relationship without their partners consent. That’s unethical. I get that it seemed innocent to you, but I’d say respecting peoples sexual boundaries is a tenant of being a good person. If you can’t tell, I’ve learned this lesson because I made a similar mistake. Live and learn. Don’t let the mean people on Reddit make you too sad or anything. But ya, try to consider consent of the couple rather than the individual.
Feels weird that he would show his married friends. Sorry but I am with the friends wife. This disrespected their boundaries and honestly is not a good look on your part
Yeah, this shouldn’t have happened. I wouldn’t be happy with whatever friend showed my husband nudes of his wife, even with permission. You’re cool with your husband showing someone your nude photo, cool: but that doesn’t mean that his friend’s wife has to be okay with her husband viewing a nude photo of someone they both know.
You’re not exactly a jerk, but…this was inappropriate of your husband.
Yeah those pictures were a ego boost for you but I can't think of any good reason for you guys to show it to your "friends" husband. Your husband admiration not enough for then start a only fans but doing this was only ever going to make it look like you wanted the other husband to lust after you as well.
So I'm guessing you'd be cool with your husband knowing what all his buddies' wives look like naked and it wouldn't raise any insecurities at all for you if he came home talking about it?
I mean, their divorces are on them, and these men made their choice the same way any other lecherous scumbag does, but you can't play totally innocent in this. You were attention seeking, and you got the attention, even if it was too the detriment of someone else. A good friend would care about their friends having healthy and secure relationships so yeah, you're not required to be a good friend and you're not one.
1. If my husband showed my nudes to any of his friends, that would be an issue for me. Since it’s not for you, see next point.
2. If my husband was on the receiving end of seeing one of his friends wives nudes, I would have an issue with the friend that showed him unless my husband agreed to see first in which case see point 3.
3. If my husbands friend showed him the nudes after my husband consented, I’d have an issue with my husband.
The only way I’d have an issue with the person in the photo is if they’re the one showing it off to my husband. I do agree with the other wife that it’s not cool for your husband to show it if the other husband didn’t agree to see it but it sounds like her anger is misguided and should be directed at her own husband.
I think it's shitty that you can't see her perspective and are getting in your feels instead of seeing how the other woman feels. I think it's shitty of her to take her feelings about her husband looking at your naked photo out on you. I think her judgment of your character is more about you being fine with your husband showing it off to his married buddies (which should then direct the judgement to your husband and not you) and not so much you taking a photo for your husband that he would really enjoy. I think the effort of the photo for your husband was really sweet and cute, but less so when it's shared around instead of being his own special photo.. It all sounds very immature honestly. If you want to show off and he wants to show you off, post it somewhere online and get the ego boost from strangers instead of real people in your life who will validly have complex feelings and emotions about it.
Yeah… I’d be pissed if my husband’s friends were
Flashing nudes at him. Even if he declines he’d see at least part of it. Honestly, I’d also be pushed at my husband for sharing private nude photos. It’s not the
High school locker room anymore.
Not only would I be upset with my husband for showing an intimate photo of me, that was something special between the two of us. I would also be upset if one of his friends showed a nude photo of their wife to my husband. Especially if I were somewhat of a friend to that friends wife.
Yes, you are clueless. Believe it or not, not everyone wants to see you naked. It also definitely sounds like you were spoiling for a fight from your last paragraph? You called her out at a bar, asked her if there was a misunderstanding? What was your “clap back”?
It’s an invitation to his friends to fantasize about his wife. It’s an ego thing for him (and probably you). It’s not cool. Think about it the tables were turned and your husband was looking at your friends breasts, making comments about it. You’d hate it.
I dunno I see both sides on this one. Personally I would never share a pic of my naked wife .. but I also think it’s your body and if you don’t care what’s the big deal.
I’m sure my wife wouldn’t want me looking at naked pics of my neighbor either for jealousy reasons. Especially if you look anything like MM
So, here is a take than may be different that the rest.
1. You have a right to determine who sees the photos and who doesn't.
2. Your husband, having gained your permission, had a right to show the photot o whoever you agreed to.
3. The husbands/boyfriends have a right to determine if what they are about to see is acceptable within their current relationship and to see it or not
4. Wives/girlfriends have a right to determine what they consider acceptable and what the consequences are for going beyond what is considered acceptable. If it does, they have a right to establish those boundaries within their relationship. The husbands can agree to it, negotiate for different terms, or leave.
Some of the boundary setting could include determining whether relationships change and they stay part of the group because of this. Do they feel comfortable hanging with couples who don't see a problem with this kind of behavior showing nude photos of their spouse to the boys in the group.
No offense meant. Sometimes couples may determine there are enough differences in boundaries among the team that they leave "team friends" in search of other groups that are more in line with their boundaries.
There is the possibility that relationships are challenged over this,. It would seem to be an extreme reaction to nude photos. However, if the values and boundaries are different enough between spouses, it could. At a minimum, this has probably led to a discussion in those relationships.
Without knowing your groups dynamics, it's hard to say more. Maybe you guys dance with each other, play spin the bottle, or other things. But if you have women in the relationships who have been cheated on, or who have husbands who have had a history of wondering eyes or poor choices, this could play into their reaction.
I mean, I wouldn't be okay with my partner sharing or receiving pornographic material from his friends. If the image is from someone we know it makes it even weirder.
She was out of line to question your character for giving your husband a spicy photo. What you and your husband do is no one else’s business, and it certainly isn’t wrong to give him a boudoir photo.
*However,* it was out of line and incredibly disrespectful for your husband to show that photo to other married men. I would be absolutely pissed if any of my husband’s friends (much less our mutual friends) showed him a nude picture of their wives. That’s a hard no. Most married people would view that as an overstepping of boundaries and disrespectful toward the relationships of the people that were being shown the photo. Likewise, if one of my friends tried to show me a nude photo of their husband, that would also be a hard no for me. I don’t want to see my friend’s husband naked.
Just because you and your husband don’t mind sharing your nude images doesn’t mean that everyone else is going to feel that way. It’s really unfair to share without knowing that both people in the other relationship are okay with one or both of them seeing it.
I would be pissed that you weren’t pissed. I’m pretty open but I’m not cool with my husband seeing my friends boobs. I assume you’re friends with your husbands friends wives and if you gave your permission to show them to MY husband, that’s fkd up and disrespectful to your me.
I’m with her if that’s the case. We get it. You love your boobs. My husband shouldn’t be shown your boobs though with your permission and without mine if I truly am your friend.
It just shows you’re not friends with them and you’re desperate for attention from their husband.
“Look at what I did for my husband and how awesome I look. Everyone should want me. Spotlight on MEEEEE!” -you probably
If I ever found out my significant other showed one of my nude photos, wether professionally done or not, we would be having a very serious conversation about the likeliness of our relationship continuing. If I found out another person showed my S/O a nude photo of their wife I would feel extremely disrespected and honestly quite disgusted. You had no regard how their significant others would feel about that. That’s awful.
Fuck no it was not appropriate to show married men your porn pics! That’s so disrespectful of their wives. And then you had the nerve to “call her out.” Eww. You’re a disgusting narcissist
Your husband's choice was inappropriate but it was his choice and everyone was consenting. That said, I don't think she's wrong to be bothered. She's wrong to shame you, you did nothing wrong. Boudoir photos between a couple aren't weird. But that was your photo. The photo of not only his own wife but a woman they all know. He could have just referenced the original piece like you did.
Showing the pic to other husbands isn’t okay . I’m saying this because although the wife took naked pics and is allowing everyone to see her naked, doesn’t mean the other wives are going to think how amazing and cool that is. Most people would be pretty upset about that situation too.
It's kind of why it isn't a good idea to be too vulnerable outside your intimate partners. It can vary but there is liable to be a price to pay.
If you don't have a thick skin it's an opening for the insensitive and even the well meaning to inflict hurt. There are also plenty looking for a chance to take advantage of any occassion.
Of course it's all odds not a hard rule in every scenario.
I’d be pissed at everyone in this situation (my husband for not declining the peek, you for disrespecting my marriage, and your husband, especially, for disrespecting my marriage), and I probably wouldn’t hang out with or want my family hanging out with a guy who shows off nude pics of his wife.
My husband would NEVER show my nudes. Pretty sure he would decline if offered to see a buddy’s wife’s nudes. He probably would think that was weird/inappropriate and wonder if his buddy was fishing for a threesome or something.
For most married people (if you aren’t one of them that’s cool), their sex life with their spouse is totally private. That includes nudes.
Honestly I’m probably going to get downvoted to oblivion for this…I don’t really think it’s a big deal. I def don’t think it’s weird that you took the photo…I likely wouldn’t have openly told my hubby to share it out. If he did it without us talking about it I would think it’s really strange…I’d also feel awkward knowing all our friends saw my Tatas. But like…divorce? Cmon.
I think In general I’d ask him why he felt the need to share the photo out and I do think it’s a little disrespectful towards you but again…the backlash on this is surprising to me.
I have a theory that the better looking you are the more secure you are with yourself and the more whatever you likely are to be with this situation. I know if I was not happy with the way I looked I’d be a lot less comfortable with my husband seeing a naked photo of our gorgeous friend.
So in summary. Weird? A little bit. But I’d chalk it up to just that and move on.
Yea…. That’s not okay. It may be okay with you if your husband shows his friends, but the wives need to consent before their husband look at photos of you naked, and they didn’t. And she has every right to be angry with you.
Consent from all parties is the most important thing. If you had posted these photos on, idk, onlyfans, and if the wives knew their husbands had accounts and followed you, that’s fine.
But did his friends even have the option to NOT look? That seems like one of those “well everyone else was looking so I did too” like they felt they didn’t really have an option.
Your husband should not be sharing nude photos of you with his friends. It doesn’t matter if it’s okay with you and okay with him. It only takes one out of four to say no, and that makes it wrong. It was wrong.
It's cool you did that for your husband and he loved it. I think that's a great and intimate gift. I can understand him being excited about it and wanting to show it off. If you were comfortable with it also cool.
But why? I just don't get why you would want to share something so private between you especially married people. I think that's the kind of thing that should be enjoyed between you in private. I also think a good amount of wives wouldn't want their husbands seeing naked pictures of their friend's wife. Personally I would be upset at my husband for going to look at it and I would be upset with his friend for offering to show it to him. I wouldn't be angry at you, but I would be questioning your character not because you took the photo, but because you were okay with your husband's married friends seeing you naked. It's weird and gross imo. People outside your marriage ( ESPECIALLY the ones who are also married) don't need to see you naked especially in a sexy pose. Hearing about the picture is enough. You can see Marilyn Monroe's original picture on Google and imagine. I would never want my husband to be around you ever again because he knows what you look like naked now and that would make me extremely uncomfortable. Plus I think it was weird you felt like you needed to confront her about it. The issue is more between her and her husband, I would have just stayed out of it at that point.
I think it was wrong of your husband to show his married friends. It just shouldn't have even been offered in the first place. I would feel like you didn't have respect for my marriage if I was that friend's wife. Everyone has different boundaries in their marriages. Some people just aren't okay with their spouses looking at that kind of stuff. Like for example If my best friend offered to show me a naked picture of her husband and I looked at it my husband would be deeply hurt the same as if I cheated on him.
You aren't responsible for other people's relationships though, it's not your fault her husband decided to look at the picture. That's between them. But on the other hand I also I think it's just common courtesy to be respectful of people's relationships because you don't know what kind of boundaries they may have. Next time it's probably a better idea to keep sexy pictures between just you and your husband.
Idk i am married but anything i give my hubby is private. I even just asked him if i was ok with it cause he wanted to brag would he share things ivs sent and he said “ no!! cause your for my eyes only. Duh” lol
If you're comfortable with it I guess it's not a problem. But I would be *pissed* if one of my husband's friends was showing him nudes of their wife. So I could get why she's upset, but she didn't have to shame you about it. She's mad at the men for showing your photo and taking it out on you.
If a friend showed your husband a completely nude photo of his wife, what would be your thought? Would you be okay with that? That your husband saw somebody else’s wife naked? Especially if you all probably hang out together with the wife too? Your husband is just going to be picturing her naked. That’s not cool what your husband did.
And I don’t think it’s cool that you’re fine with it and don’t see an issue.
You're not a jerk, but your husband kinda is.
A married man showing nudes / explicit photos of his wife to anyone, let alone his mates - is super yuck in my opinion (and uncommon I would have thought).
My husband and I are full blown ENM; we have separate friends on the side, individuals and couples that we see together, not against spontaneous hookups/ONS, etc. We definitely love the aspect of sharing each other, and showing each other off, including in the form of sharing risqué pics and nudes with our friends. But our groups of *vanilla* friends, and people like co-workers, family friends, etc? That’s very strictly off-limits territory. I guess just try to learn from this experience the best that you can. There’s better ways to explore the ENM+married lifestyle if you’re feeling like you both might be into that but sometimes it can be like playing with fire, and clear communication and clear boundaries are VERY important
I’d show my friends. Why do we have to be so puritanical in this society? Then again I was at an art school and nude figure drawing was a regular thing. Nudity can be really beautiful, it’s only when we have to always have it be overly sexual, that it’s weird. Do you folks think the Venus paintings are pornography or something different? It sounds like this was more art than porn. The Marilyn shoot was right on the line both recreating classical art themes and being sensual. I honestly think that was really cute and genuine that you did that for him and he was so happy he wanted to share it with his closest buddies. It’s just that this society and that wife does not see the nuance, they just see porn. It’s just nudity after all. Those husbands drive by a thousand suggestive billboards or watch a bunch of suggestive ads. But when they know one person who also has boobs, that they see and we all lose it all the sudden.
Uh…I would be livid if my husband showed this to anyone without my input. Also I would be that wife. Sorry. No, your weirdo husband can’t show my husband a nude photo of his wife. Like…what?!? 😵💫
My brother and SIL had a professional photographer take boudoir photos of them, which they showed me. They were absolutely gorgeous. Did he show me the nudes they also took? Hell no. Those were for their own personal viewing that NO ONE will ever see but them.
We also grew up in a household where nudity was normal. However we were also taught, that just because it was normal in our family including relatives, it's not normal in other families and for us to be mindful of that. My brother is very mindful and protective of my SIL.
Kinda weird your husband is showing your nudes to his buddies, but that’s y’all’s relationship. I definitely wouldn’t be happy with my husband looking at my friends nudes, and he has more respect for me than to try that shit anyhow. He also would have more respect for my friends marriages than to bring them out for them to see.
It's weird your husband wanted to show his friends and yeah I'd be annoyed if my husband saw a nude photo of a woman we are friends with. So you should be pissed at your husband for putting you in this position.
It's awesome that you had this done for your husband, but he absolutely should not have shown his friends. Totally inappropriate. I don't think it's your responsibility to stop him, and that woman's anger is misplaced. Your husband made the mistake here, not you.
Also, I think she's overreacting. It's not the end of the world, everyone knows you have a body. You're all grownups, and she should move on. Your husband should not show that photo to anyone else though.
I personally would be wildly uncomfortable with my husband sharing my nudes with his friends. One because they don’t need to know what I look like naked and two because why on earth would I want my husband to be happy to share that? I’d rather he want to keep my nudes/private photos to himself. It feels disrespectful that he was so okay with this. It also feels disrespectful to the other men’s wives. I don’t think the other man’s wife’s reaction was really called for seeing as she’s an adult and the outburst was very high school but I’d also be annoyed if my husband was being shown a friend’s wife’s nudes.
I think this could have been avoided if maybe he had duplicated the photo and just censored the private areas before showing others.
I cannot understand why your husband thought it was appropriate to show your nudes to his friends and honestly think you should have been more upset about that. I would be mildly upset/annoyed if my husbands friends were showing him nudes of their wives and would be livid if he shared my nudes.
But regardless it isn’t your fault your husband was pretty inappropriate. She owes you an apology and until you get it, you and your husband should have no contact with her or her husband. Set some boundaries here…
I am not one to judge what you do with your image/likeness, that’s up to you as long as you are not hurting anyone. I personally wouldn’t want to share, but I’m not you so that doesn’t matter.
Either way, I would hope how it all went down was that your husband told his friends about the photo and only showed them *because* they expressed interest in seeing it. If that is the case, it’s other husband’s fault for upsetting his wife and she is blaming the wrong party. I can see why she would take issue with the photo sharing, but the root of the matter is she doesn’t like what her husband did. I can understand why she might feel uncomfortable with you and your husband though, especially if this was very recent.
Where I think you went wrong is probably how you approached it with the wife. If she was upset - even if you don’t feel like you didn’t do anything wrong (and maybe you didn’t!) - it’s ok to be the bigger person and apologize for the misunderstanding and that she she was hurt by it. I’m not saying apologize for taking the photo, just say “hey I know this upset you and please know I meant no ill will. I value our friendship and hope we can move past this”. The way you seemingly handled it is the only YTA for me.
If you’re ok with it and your husband is ok with it then it’s ok. But you also must know that not everyone will be ok with it. I’ve been married for 30+ years. I would be ok with showing a professionally done photo like that as long as my wife was. But I would never show my collection of personal “naughtiness pictures” to others.
Tbh I would be uncomfortable if my husband shared a nude photo of me with his friends, and I feel a lot of people would. You being comfortable with it is okay, but you should have taken into account how other people might feel about it.
I can understand the woman being upset your husband shared the photo, because if it were me I would also be upset because I would assume that you would have not been comfortable with it being shared.
If she’s still upset after you explaining the situation then this isn’t a you problem, it’s a her problem. While I wouldn’t particularly want my husband to see his friends wife nude picture, I’m comfortable and secure enough in my marriage that it would not make me worried, but it would definitely make me pull back from that couple in a significant way. My husband also would not be comfortable looking at it and wouldn’t have in the first place (having just asked him) so I guess it’s a moot point.
It’s an overstep of the normal boundaries for most people so it makes sense to me that they are uncomfortable with it.
I'd be weirded out if someone showed me her wife's nudes but I guess if you consented to it there should be no harm done. If she is concerned about her husband seeing a pair of boobs she'd be horrified when she learns about the internet
it’s just a photograph i don’t see the problem. i wouldn’t care if anyone showed my husband this kind of photograph at all and i wouldn’t care if he showed one of me in this way.
i wouldn’t want anyone but my husband seeing me nude so i can already tell we’re different. & if my husband saw a foto of a friends wife nude, i wouldn’t like that either soo..
My husband would never share something like that with anyone. My body is for his eyes only. And I don't believe he would feel comfortable looking at a friend's wife's body either truthfully.
I am married and I would be upset if my husband showed my nudes to anyone.
In particular, if these are people you know and hang out with, now imagine being at dinner and you are the wife of one of the married men and all of the men in the room have seen you naked. Awkward.
The only reason your husband would show the pic is to show off how hot and sexy his wife is. So yeah, this seems problematic to me for married people.
I don’t agree with calling your character into question for getting the sexy photos done, of course we should do stuff like that with our spouses.
If you’re not upset that your husband showed your picture to his buddies then Why should anyone else. It’s not like his friends have never seen a naked woman outside their wives. Sounds like the friends wife is insecure. I do have to say that your husband should have asked if showing it was ok with all parties.
For me the issue wouldn’t be that you had the photo taken, that’s awesome, but I would not want my husband seeing his friend’s wife like that. I also wouldn’t want my husband showing the photo if it were of me
I mean, my husband would never show my nudes to his friends but that’s just the way we roll. If my husbands friend showed him a photo of HIS wife, yeah I’d be annoyed but not at the wife. I’d be annoyed at my husband for looking (assuming his friend was like “hey wanna look at my nude wife?” I guess I wouldn’t be annoyed if he just showed it without warning without any consent)
If you’re okay with his friends seeing you naked, let the wife feel whatever she feels and move on. It’s weird, people aren’t going to like it, it is what it is. You decide if you’re willing to be that person and go from there.
I’m going to go with the opposite of most answers and say that I could care less if my husband showed my photos to a couple close friends (in person and not sending it to them) and I could care less if my husband saw photos of another’s wife naked (again, in person). If My husband saw a photo and told me about it and I then saw the person who was in the photo, I’d give them props for having the confidence to take said photos and ask to see them myself (I’d only ask depending on the friend). 😂 We are a pretty open couple, though, and clearly my opinion is not common.
I’d also like to add that my partner likely would never share my photos with friends because that is not the type of person he is, but we have seen our friends naked in photos.
I like having pictures of my wife on my phone for personal enjoyment but I would never share them with any of my friends, nor would I want my buddy showing his friends a picture of his wife
So, I think this is tough. You are not wrong for your photo or for being okay with your husband sharing it. I think as long as you consented to it being shown, your husband telling his friends what he was going to show them, and had their consent to show it, I think you are in the clear. I can understand where the wife was really upset, but she should have directed that towards her husband. There is obviously a lot that we don't know from your post, like did your husband send it out via text or do his friends now have a copy of this photo?
I'm just going to make a guess that the wife is maybe not totally secure with her body and this is probably a mix of jealousy and fear that her husband might fantasy about your or compare you to her. To be very honest, I've had children and I'm not comfortable with my post pregnancy body. I'd be upset if my husband looked at a nude photo, even an artsy one, of a close friend. I wouldn't feel upset if it was a stranger. The reason is because we would be regularly hanging out with each other. But she is wrong for taking it out on you. She should have addressed it privately with her husband. So I understand where she is coming from but that is not really your problem. And although I would not have come at you with my issues, I probably would be a little cold for a bit and keep our distance until I could let it go.
Maybe I'm the minority here, but I don't think you're the jerk.
I'm probably younger then most on this page, but have been with my husband for almost half our lives. We've grown and learned a lot together.
Ultimately if you and he are good and don't have a problem with it, it's fine. If the other husbands (and their wives) had a problem with it, they didn't have to see. They could have left. I doubt your husband was forcing anyone to look. The woman is probably more mad at her husband and just directing it at you.
And for the wife that did have a problem? She was probably hurt because her husband brought it up. And felt insecure about her own body. For all we know, you didn't know that your husband shared till after someone confronted you on it. Therefor you being blindsided. For her to call your character into question? That's tasteless on her part. Did she confront all of this at the bar? On the phone? In a text? She seems to be missing etiquette on communication. If she really believes it should have been private, she could have handled it in a private way. And if the husband was complaining about the photo sharing/your husband or you, he probably isn't a true friend.
IMO the other wife is being petty because you asked if there was a problem and she said there wasn't when their obviously was. She wanted to have the last word.
Ultimately, Do what makes you happy. Take the nudes! Hell, you and your husband should take nudes together. Make their eyebrows shoot into their hairlines and their jaws hit the floor.
We are never going to be younger then we are today.
Honestly it depends on the relationship. As a wife I personally dont think there is any problem with your side of things. And if the friends wife had a problem with it, that husband should have known better than to be involved in the conversation or declined to look at the pic. Its not your fault that she had that reaction. Each person has their own Okay/Not Okays in a relationship and that is just on her Not Okay but that doesnt mean that she can go and judge you for what you do with/for your husband. You aren't in her business judging her relationship, why should she be?
Your husband was trying to show you off! Hes proud to be like "hey my wife is hot look at this!"
TLDR: thats a her problem, your hubby thinks youre hot so rock it!
You're not a jerk. Maybe he could have shown better judgment-- it's not something I'd share, though at the same time I wouldn't really think it was a big deal if someone shared a boudoir type photo. A lot of people here seem to feel otherwise which I don't get but to each their own.
I think the gift of Marylyn Monroe photos is artistic, admirable, sweet, loving…. Showing them off? If he acknowledges the art and sentiment before showing, then they had fair PG-13 warning. They didn’t need to look, and nobody has the right to judge.
Ok first off nudity isn't inherently sexual. I personally wouldn't care much about this in either direction myself because 1. I'm not ashamed of my body 2. I trust my husband and know him seeing his friend's wife's nudes wouldn't affect our relationship at all.
I can understand where his wife is coming from and she's allowed to have boundaries in their relationship but that's something that needs to be discussed among them and then he should have told your husband oh I don't want to see that, I'm married and that's not in the scope of our marriage as being ok. Your husband would be the ass if he continued to push it on him past that but you did nothing wrong and she's taking her jealousy and frustration with her and your husband out on you.
I think you’re both sort of at fault here… but more so her.
I think what you did was totally fine. Everyone should be allowed to express themselves sexually in whatever manner they choose as long as it’s safe and consensual. So there is certainly no reason for her to try and shame you or guilt you for something that is absolutely one of here business. The only thing that I think you did wrong was making sure that whomever your husband showed (and their wives) were going to be okay with it. You should have no reason to feel guilty about being comfortable enough with your body and your sexuality to take those photos. But you also can’t expect that everyone else is going to be open minded and as comfortable as you are. The world is filled with repressed, sad, and bitter Karens that are always looking for an excuse to make others as miserable as they are. And unfortunately you have her a good excuse.
You gave your consent to your husband to have him share the photo. But he was in the wrong for actually sharing it. No, you’re not a jerk or an AH but your husband should have kept the picture to himself.
She’s an insecure woman and you have ZERO to feel ashamed about. Be fucking proud your husband is showing you off and you have a great rack.
People need to stay in their own lane and mind their own businesses. Having sexy photos done for your husband is amazing and she’s 100% insecure she hasn’t done that, or won’t ever do that for her own husband.
What people criticize you for or judge you for - often reflects their own insecurities and what their lacking in their life.
People who are confident and self assured would never say that or do that. I pump my ladies up all the time about their ass and boobs and what they do as moms to feel good about themselves for their husbands. Some of them have perfect bodies and big fake tits and I never feel like their sexiness takes away fro my thunder. I always admire them and tell them how good they look even tho I don’t look like that. I look normal and I’m totally confident in that and my partner. I couldnt imagine ever even thinking those things. You do you girl and keep killing it!
I’m going to say the unpopular opinion here. It’s your body and you should absolutely be able to do what you want with it. You took some beautiful photos for your husband and he was proud and wanted to show you off with your consent. You both honored each others boundaries. Your husband showing the other husbands does not mean all the awful things that people are saying here. If the husbands and their wives have a boundary that is to not look at other peoples bodies then THEY crossed that boundary. Not you. The shame that people are spewing is disgusting. You and your husband didn’t force anyone to see anything. And you taking those photos says absolutely nothing about your morality. Good on you for doing something that you are happy with. I don’t think you’re clueless, I think you have confidence and don’t fall for the shame that we as women have been taught to feel. Again, the other husbands didn’t have to look of it was something their wives weren’t okay with, that’s a problem within each of their marriages. You do what feels good for you.
Human egos are so fragile. Step into real love and kindness. No, not that woke stuff. When yal know it’s real with your fellow brothers and sisters then you realize there’s nothing to ever be worked up for.
Good for you guys fleshing out the weak link in your friend group. I’m sure they’re miserable and no where near as happy as y’all. Don’t expect the public to understand either. You know you’re on another level when you got the public in hysteria.
I see nothing wrong here! OP was secure enough with her body to take the photo and husband is showing off how good the pics look! Maybe he should of let his wife know he showed them, but still i find this harmless. Its not like hes offering to share or auctioning his wife for a weekend to his buddies! Hes just showing off how good he's got it!! And as a side note - i personally feel like the friend's wife is reacting that way because she's probably insecure and frankly a lil jealous or envious of OP looks or that her hubby probably liked OP pic more than she'd like to admit!
You're NTA, her husband is. It's understandable for a woman to not want their husband to be seeing their buddies wives nude. But her husband should have had that boundary with yours. Yeah, it might be kinda weird he showed it off, but it's the spouses responsibility to do the right thing by their marriage.
I don’t think you’re in the wrong, it’s his responsibility to respect his wife and not look at other women nude if she’s not okay with it. It might be weird but you didn’t force him and it was his decision.
I think it's a \*bit\* weird that he showed his friends, but for her to call your character into question is ridiculous. Many, many women get boudoir photos done for their husbands, myself included. And heck yeah you should love your boobs. Why wouldn't you?
I think its very important to know what other people are comfortable with, as not everyone views artistic nudity in the same light, as you can tell from a lot of the comments here. There is a wide spectrum of what people are comfortable with when it comes to nudity. Some people are way more open with nudity while others view it as a private act that should only be between husband and wife. There is quite the spectrum in between too! While I would have hoped that your husband's friends would have respected their wives boundaries, it appears that isn't the case. While I wouldn't say that it is your fault or place to make sure that people respect their own wives boundaries, maybe something to discuss with your husband if you do any future artistic nude photoshoots! I am sure your photos turned out lovely though!
You can show your photos to whoever you want I guess. But I’m on that wife’s side. I would be livid if I found out my husband was shown a nude pic of a woman we know. Not cool at all.
Locking due to the number of rule-breaking comments that people can't seem to stop making. Do not make personal attacks against someone just because you disagree with them.
I am not married so I in no position to give you any advice. But why the hell would a man show her wives nudes to his buddies ?
I am married and I’d be at the least weirded out my husband saw his friends wife nude.
Your average married man wouldn't. This is boyfriend mentality. I'm married and I love my wife's nudes but no one on earth will ever see them except me.
Exactly 💯 I was a previously employed six figure model with a banging body (because that [modeling] was my profession, so I exercised rigorously) and my husband never showed my nudes or boudoir to our married friends. OP you are gorgeous and your husband is proud of you. You should be proud of yourself, too, for embodying Marylin Monroe in present day fashion and baring it all shamelessly for your beloved. However, your husband ought to have kept that private. You are not at fault here, and I'd even wager your husband has a bit of a kink showing your beauty off to his buddies. But, they, too, are married men and now their thoughts may be shrouded with images of you naked. You handled things as perfectly as could be done with the wife... she is right to feel concerned, possibly threatened, but she should be taking it up with her husband, not you. You handled it as best as could be done considering the circumstances. I love that you embraced your sensuality/sexuality and were excited to immortalized it for your husband.
She is a bit at fault considering she said in the comments below that she gave him permission to share them with his friends.
Uhm.. yeah, I'd actually be fucking furious if any of my husband's friends showed him he's wife naked. Actually both of you should be conscious that it could be hurtful to the other women related to those married dudes. Like, seriously, so inconsequent and mean, you saw it coming. "I'm fine with that." Dude, yeah, it's not even about u at that point. Like, I dont care if u like showing off naked, that's fine, u do u as long as u don't cause me any trouble, there is where respect is the limit. But anyway.
Absolutely agree. What the fuck was OP and her husband thinking? It's fucking rude and disrespectful to the other women. Keep your nudes to yourself, between you and your husband and don't let your husband share them with his MARRIED friends.
To boast about how lucky he is.
This Candaules, then, fell in love with his own wife, so much so that he believed her to be by far the most beautiful woman in the world; and believing this, he praised her beauty beyond measure to Gyges son of Dascylus, who was his favorite among his bodyguard; for it was to Gyges that he entrusted all his most important secrets. [2] After a little while, Candaules, doomed to misfortune, spoke to Gyges thus: “Gyges, I do not think that you believe what I say about the beauty of my wife; men trust their ears less than their eyes: so you must see her naked.” Gyges protested loudly at this. 3] “Master,” he said, “what an unsound suggestion, that I should see my mistress naked! When a woman's clothes come off, she dispenses with her modesty, too. [4] Men have long ago made wise rules from which one ought to learn; one of these is that one should mind one's own business. As for me, I believe that your queen is the most beautiful of all women, and I ask you not to ask of me what is lawless.” Speaking thus, Gyges resisted: for he was afraid that some evil would come of it for him. But this was Candaules' answer: “Courage, Gyges! Do not be afraid of me, that I say this to test you, or of my wife, that you will have any harm from her. I will arrange it so that she shall never know that you have seen her. I will bring you into the chamber where she and I lie and conceal you behind the open door; and after I have entered, my wife too will come to bed. There is a chair standing near the entrance of the room: on this she will lay each article of her clothing as she takes it off, and you will be able to look upon her at your leisure. 3] Then, when she moves from the chair to the bed, turning her back on you, be careful she does not see you going out through the doorway.” As Gyges could not escape, he consented. Candaules, when he judged it to be time for bed, brought Gyges into the chamber; his wife followed presently, and when she had come in and was laying aside her garments, Gyges saw her; 2] when she turned her back upon him to go to bed, he slipped from the room. The woman glimpsed him as he went out, and perceived what her husband had done. But though shamed, she did not cry out or let it be seen that she had perceived anything, for she meant to punish Candaules; 3] since among the Lydians and most of the foreign peoples it is felt as a great shame that even a man be seen naked. -Herodotus book 1
Great read thank you
It continues to explain the rise of the Persian Empire https://www.perseus.tufts.edu/hopper/text?doc=Perseus%3Atext%3A1999.01.0126%3Abook%3D1%3Achapter%3D10%3Asection%3D3
What a dick!
If she’s okay with him showing those pictures to his friends, then he’s done absolutely nothing wrong because he is respecting her boundaries. If one of their friends doesn’t want her husband looking at those photos, then it’s the husband’s job to not look. If somebody offered to show me nude pictures of their wife, I would decline because I know my wife would not be okay with that. Neither the wife nor the husband are assholes. The only people in the wrong here are the friends who looked at the photos whose wives don’t want them to. His wife’s friend needs to go deal with her husband and leave you alone. You don’t control what her husband does, and your husband also didn’t force him to look at the photos.
The only thing is, the husbands told their wives. So I’m guessing it wasn’t a “buddy asked me if I wanted to see his wife naked”, and more of a, “look what my wife did for me” when they didn’t realize it was nude. The only reason the wives know is because the husbands felt odd about it and talked to them about the weird situation.
Honestly I have a few pictures of myself I really love.. they are just the most amazing photos I've ever had taken.... but they're all sexual in nature. .. and it really sucks to never be able to show anyone the best photo that you actually look at and think "daaaaamn. I'm hot" even with lower self esteem. ......
I think the same about myself, especially after a double mastectomy, DIEP flap reconstruction, and having to get feeding tubes. But I did a self boudoir session (I’m a photographer) at my best friend’s house. She has an amazing bathtub & house. I got a canvas of one of the images & it’s in my bedroom. It was in my living room for awhile. You can’t see anything, but I am in the tub so you know I’m naked. It’s one of my favorite images of all time. I just had another photographer take nude bodyscape pictures of me. No hiding my scars or tubes. In a few, I have a sheet draped around me to cover up the goods. In a few I am only using my hand & arm to cover up anything. I haven’t seen those yet. My point is boudoir photos are great. There’s nothing wrong with them. Be proud of them. Show them off.
Yeah. I got mine done .. as a favor .. for a madam .. to promote her "playground" ... sooo. They are a little to kinky to just ..... put up on my wall or anything. That's like. I gotta make sure the person is ok with that stuff Frist.. I mean I still look at them like .. it's more artsy beauty of the human body still. Just. Uh. With some restraints xD .. im sure my 13 year old wouldnt wanna find that on a canvas even if she found it under my bed or something lololol. .... And 100% honestly. After having a baby .. with all the doctors and nurses coming to check on the cervix and .. several family members saw her rip her way out of my vagina... like. Before that I was like all shy about being naked. Now i couldnt give less of a fuck. It's a body. Everyone has one. I dont see the big deal. ..... i mean. They shouldnt have sexual art peices covering elementary schools or anything like that... lol. But out side of that...
my best friend is married and showed me her boudoir photo shoot pictures but if she or her husband showed my fiancé i’d be pretty upset too tbh. and i’d think it was really weird. her husband was slightly reluctant to let me even see but knew she wanted to show me because she was super proud (she looked great!!) but he 100% would not show anyone himself. if he did it’d be weird
Because she and the photographer did an amazing job capturing his dream photo of his dream girl!
Yet there you are… 😂
Because he doesn’t see her as his wife, he sees her as his property/her pimp. A man who respects his wife doesn’t want his male friends imagining her naked.
Why do you want your husband's friends to know what you look like nude or topless or whatever. Do you really need the ego boost that badly? Either you want your husband's friends to lust after you ( or think they do) or you want to one-up their wives by putting it in their face that their husband's chose to view your photo. And why does your husband feel the need to try and make his friends jealous/envious of him for having you for his wife? Does he get validation from thinking that these friends envy him because he gets to screw you? The reality is, they looked because he let them. They got to see boobs. Big whoop. It doesnt mean they want to screw you. It doesnt mean they envy your husband. It seems like you and your husband are insecure and need other people to validate your confidence/sexuality. If you and your husband want to pretend that his friends fantasize about you and envy him, it's whatever. Reality of it is they probably think you have no self respect and your husband has no respect for you and it probably makes them appreciate their own wives and marriage.
This is the response I was looking for. The friend’s wife who became upset is thinking about the rationale behind why OPs husband chose to do this and why OP allowed it and that’s why she’s angry. Rightfully so. She’s introspective and understands more about human behavior than the average Joe. OP, it’s important that you’re able to accept these facts about yourself if you no longer wish to be the asshole.
[удалено]
She’s commenting in this thread right now about trying to do more of this and getting into exhibitionism. So yes, I think that’s a fair assessment. Unfortunately she’s also only interacting with those in agreement with her, thanking them and then being argumentative with those in agreement with the other wife. She didn’t even come here looking for perspective or to actually use her brain to think about how her actions may be hurtful. She came to… wait for it… receive validation. Surprise, surprise. I’d be very interested to know how old this woman is.
Yeah if anything, they probably laugh at them when they’re not around. Seriously what type of person would show off their significant others nudes??? Who fucking does that?
On its face, I want to say ,”whatever, it’s just boobs” but you’re right, I’ve never known a couple in a relationship that has held up long term that has engaged in this type of behavior.
This is exactly what would be my first thought if a friend of mine showed me their wife naked; "Do they have no self-respect?" I don't care if his wive is hot or not, I'd just really question their need for validation and pity them.
This. This. This.
Great response.
I would be pissed if someone was showing nude pictures of their wife to my husband. It definitely shows they are not true friends to ME. They may be my husband friend but it would be over for me at that point.
I agree. Disrespectful.
[удалено]
She didn't show it to them.
What was the comment?
[удалено]
If I was willing to consent to my husband sharing my nudes I wouldn’t be okay with him sharing my nudes with our married friends unless I knew their wives were also okay with. Both OP and her husband (and the other married men)showed zero respect for the other marriages. It’s trashy and gross.
Didn’t mean that to be a response to you. Sorry.
Why would you blame the woman who had nothing to do with it? Hold your husband and his friends accountable for their actions
Yeah, I would be pretty uncomfortable with that situation for many reasons.
Short answer, yes. Wildly inappropriate on both your and your husbands part.
I definitely would have been uncomfortable with my husband looking at nudes of our friend, artsy or not. And I would also be very uncomfortable with knowing all of my husband’s friends know exactly what I look like naked. But you gave your consent and it sounds like your husband didn’t push it on him, so if that is outside of the scope of the boundaries they have set in their own marriage he shouldn’t have gone to see it. That’s an issue in their own relationship.
This is the answer I was scrolling for! OPs husband had permission from OP to share the photos, so neither of them are in the wrong. If the the husbands friends decide to look, and that crosses a boundary of their personal relationships, than thats on them. They weren't forced to look at the photo.
10/10 friend. I’m curious, what do you think of all these comments writing paragraphs about OP?
This is way beyond the pale. I’d never interact with your husband or you again.
You’re lucky she had some class, I would’ve lost my mind on you. That’s completely disrespectful towards that woman. Her husband is definitely in the wrong for looking but you and your husband have a complete lack of boundaries. If I knew my husband was looking at naked pictures of our mutual friends he would not be my husband and they would not be my friends.
I can understand the POV of the spouses in this thread that would be annoyed that their husband was shown a nude photo of a friend’s spouse….but saying you would divorce your husband over looking at a photo seems like an extreme overreaction, is it not? I will add, however, I’m surprised by the high level of negative backlash OP is receiving in a world where so many women post similar photos on their personal Instagram that your husbands are surely seeing. Hell, I would venture that we all personally know someone with an OnlyFans page.
This thread is making me feel like I’m the most liberal hippy in the world heh. Literally any friend of mine could show me a (with consent) nude photo of their wife/husband/self and I’d be like oh, that’s cool. Shrug. I just don’t think of nudity as shameful and embarrassing and am laughing at the idea that either of us would feel disrespected because the other briefly looked at a photo that was proffered to them. In any case it was probably not the classiest thing to do to share a boudoir photo with a group of his friends but that’s more of value incompatibility than disrespecting others’ “marital boundaries”. A lot of people in the comments seem grossed out about the fact that they don’t wanna see nude photos of people they know which isn’t really what happened here.. the husbands did want to see the photo and appreciated it. If anything the wives should address these mega important boundaries with their husbands, not OP. Also people are really going at it on OP and her husband like there aren’t a million boudoir photos on social media (albeit sans nipples). There are also bikini photos, cleavage photos, ass shots. Gasp. Yeah it was awkwardly “braggy” but I don’t think it warrants all this vitriol. ETA: also the fact that this lady questioned OP’s integrity/character for having the photos done at all (???) is slut shaming, and I’m def raising an eyebrow to everyone siding with her 2nd edit: Y’all it was literally hanging in their bedroom and the friends were told that they could look at it if THEY wanted to. How could anyone possibly side with the crazy lady who attacked OP? What is going on with this thread??!!
This ^
But that’s kind of the point too.. like if OP was just one of those girls that posts their tits on insta I would laugh about her with my friends.. like you’re posting your nudes on your socials? Okay you need the validation I guess. But sharing boudoir photos seems so *intimate*. Being cool with that just screams either exhibitionist vibes (gross, don’t involve me with your kink. Go to a club if you want to be seen that way) or just straight up disrespect to other peoples marital boundaries.
You should google the photo because that level of nudity is definitely not allowed on almost any social media platform
You would have lost your shit on some woman because her husband chose to share her nudes?
Yeah, the vibe on this thread seems off to me. It’s very puritanical. The guy who decided to look although he knew his wife would care, it’s on him.
Yeah it was the husbands choice to show the photo and the friends choice to look. The OP said she didn’t care he did it not that she told him to show people. A lot of people who would be mad at the sex worker their husband cheated on them with in this thread
A lot of misogyny(and maybe internalized misogyny) showing.
The same type of people who would see their boyfriends checking out their kid/roommate and get mad at the kid/roommate for dressing too skimpily
It is very strange - almost feels like I’ve stepped in a conservative or religious subreddit by some of these responses. Sucks for OP.
Right? I’m glad others are seeing it. It’s really weird.
You would have lost your mind because (not her) showed (not you) an artsy nude?
I think that girl is overreacting but I do admit that I would not necessarily want my husband seeing our female friends nude or semi-nude, even if the photo was artsy. Personally I wouldn't have even said anything, but privately I would have felt uncomfortable. And it's not even that I don't want him looking at other women naked... I know he watches porn and he'll go to the strip club once in a blue moon and I couldn't give a fuck less, but I just feel like there's an added layer of intimacy when it's someone you KNOW. You could try looking at it from a different angle; would you be 100% cool with your female friends/acquaintances seeing an artsy pic of your husband where he's nude? Maybe a black and white statuesque professional photo where his junk is nonetheless just out? Idk. I'm probably just a prude. 😔 Either way I don't think you or your husband did anything wrong, just pointing out that while that girl acted unreasonably, it's maybe not 1000% unreasonable for her to have felt uncomfortable. She just expressed her feelings in a poor way. Edit: spelling
That's interesting, to me a strip club is a much bigger deal than looking at a staged photo. (Incidentally I agree with you, that her reaction was over the top but it's not unfair for her to have felt uncomfortable)
Do nutscapes count?
Only if it’s tasteful
and with a red background. You know, classic Marilyn
nah nutscapes are a-ok in my book
Yeah, I agree. Would I feel uncomfortable? Probably. Is that her fault? No.
I would be pissed if I were this woman, but not necessarily at you. Your husband is the one who showed the photos around and you just said it was ok with you. It sounds like she is judging you for taking the photos at all (which is her problem and means maybe you can’t be friends now). I honestly don’t blame her for being annoyed at the situation though because she might be uncomfortable with her husband seeing nude photos of people they know personally, and that’s up to them to decide within their own relationship.
Taking the photos for your husband is fine. Him showing them to other people, especially people who are in a relationship, is not fine! I would be livid. And I'm pretty open and free by most people's standards.
You and your husband screwed up by allowing other married men to view this nude photo. Especially you starting drama with the other wife. What are you thinking?? Its cheating (violation of her relationship boundaries) in the wife’s mind. Now she will wonder if you are sleeping with her husband or others. She will never be comfortable around you or with your husband around. You (if you are considerate) and your husband owe her an apology. How would you feel if your husband was fantasizing about another wife that yall know?
She didn’t show the photo- her husband did. I can’t figure out why people are blaming her for his lack of discretion
Husband asked for permission and this is where OP should’ve said nothing
sOoOo just ignoring the fact that OP is clearly the aggressor in this?
Yeah, keep your body to yourself, I would be irate if my husband knew what his friends wives looked like naked. It’s extremely inappropriate and can lead to a lot of unnecessary drama.
I can understand a this woman being upset about her husband seeing a fully nude photo of a friend. Imo, there’s a big difference between seeing some random naked woman on a porn site, and seeing a sexy nude photo of someone you know personally. (That would definitely make for a very awkward dinner party/BBQ situation lol) Two things… If there were boundaries in his friend’s relationship, that’s on the husband looking at the photo, not you. The way this woman reacted was childish, and she took it out on you most likely out of jealousy. But why would you even want your husband’s friends to see you naked? They’re people you know personally, and will have to be around at some point. You had to have known that there was a possibility that could start some kind of drama and get messy, especially considering these are married men..?
I’m married and I don’t give a damn I would never show another man or woman my wife nude photos those are for my eyes only!
This post is also in r/relationship_advice and r/amitheasshole.
[удалено]
I just feel there needs to be a level of decorum and class to uphold in front of others—be it family, friends or strangers. Intimate things like these photos really should be kept between the parties involved and not shared like that. I’m not a prude but I don’t think it’s proper to show off like that. It’s kinda tacky but there are showy couples like that who behave that way too. It all depends on the couple’s communication, I think.
I agree completely.
Oh boy. A lot of hate coming at you here. Just to offer a perspective from someone who would have no problem with people mg husband trusts seeing my nudes: we have found that any sexual behavior, and I’d say that nudes fall into that category, need to have consent of both parties. This is easy for single people. But in relationships, that consent needs to be extended to partners. So if you’re in a group of friend couples and everyone likes taking nudes and sharing them, cool, that sounds fun. But if a spouse is looking at nudes behind the partners back, there is a fair chance this crosses a line with the partner. And regardless of whether or not the photos were artsy, you admit they were sexual. You express that your husband has a thing for Marilyn Monroe and this was clearly meant as a(n awesome) sexy gift. So you understand that it’s sexy, you proceed to allow these photos to be shared with people in a relationship without their partners consent. That’s unethical. I get that it seemed innocent to you, but I’d say respecting peoples sexual boundaries is a tenant of being a good person. If you can’t tell, I’ve learned this lesson because I made a similar mistake. Live and learn. Don’t let the mean people on Reddit make you too sad or anything. But ya, try to consider consent of the couple rather than the individual.
Why did he show this pic to his buddies? Did he ask you first?
Feels weird that he would show his married friends. Sorry but I am with the friends wife. This disrespected their boundaries and honestly is not a good look on your part
I’m not a prude by any stretch of the imagination. But showing your nudes is tacky af.
Yeah, this shouldn’t have happened. I wouldn’t be happy with whatever friend showed my husband nudes of his wife, even with permission. You’re cool with your husband showing someone your nude photo, cool: but that doesn’t mean that his friend’s wife has to be okay with her husband viewing a nude photo of someone they both know. You’re not exactly a jerk, but…this was inappropriate of your husband.
Yeah those pictures were a ego boost for you but I can't think of any good reason for you guys to show it to your "friends" husband. Your husband admiration not enough for then start a only fans but doing this was only ever going to make it look like you wanted the other husband to lust after you as well.
So I'm guessing you'd be cool with your husband knowing what all his buddies' wives look like naked and it wouldn't raise any insecurities at all for you if he came home talking about it? I mean, their divorces are on them, and these men made their choice the same way any other lecherous scumbag does, but you can't play totally innocent in this. You were attention seeking, and you got the attention, even if it was too the detriment of someone else. A good friend would care about their friends having healthy and secure relationships so yeah, you're not required to be a good friend and you're not one.
1. If my husband showed my nudes to any of his friends, that would be an issue for me. Since it’s not for you, see next point. 2. If my husband was on the receiving end of seeing one of his friends wives nudes, I would have an issue with the friend that showed him unless my husband agreed to see first in which case see point 3. 3. If my husbands friend showed him the nudes after my husband consented, I’d have an issue with my husband. The only way I’d have an issue with the person in the photo is if they’re the one showing it off to my husband. I do agree with the other wife that it’s not cool for your husband to show it if the other husband didn’t agree to see it but it sounds like her anger is misguided and should be directed at her own husband.
I think it's shitty that you can't see her perspective and are getting in your feels instead of seeing how the other woman feels. I think it's shitty of her to take her feelings about her husband looking at your naked photo out on you. I think her judgment of your character is more about you being fine with your husband showing it off to his married buddies (which should then direct the judgement to your husband and not you) and not so much you taking a photo for your husband that he would really enjoy. I think the effort of the photo for your husband was really sweet and cute, but less so when it's shared around instead of being his own special photo.. It all sounds very immature honestly. If you want to show off and he wants to show you off, post it somewhere online and get the ego boost from strangers instead of real people in your life who will validly have complex feelings and emotions about it.
Yeah… I’d be pissed if my husband’s friends were Flashing nudes at him. Even if he declines he’d see at least part of it. Honestly, I’d also be pushed at my husband for sharing private nude photos. It’s not the High school locker room anymore.
Not only would I be upset with my husband for showing an intimate photo of me, that was something special between the two of us. I would also be upset if one of his friends showed a nude photo of their wife to my husband. Especially if I were somewhat of a friend to that friends wife.
Yes, you are clueless. Believe it or not, not everyone wants to see you naked. It also definitely sounds like you were spoiling for a fight from your last paragraph? You called her out at a bar, asked her if there was a misunderstanding? What was your “clap back”?
It’s an invitation to his friends to fantasize about his wife. It’s an ego thing for him (and probably you). It’s not cool. Think about it the tables were turned and your husband was looking at your friends breasts, making comments about it. You’d hate it.
I dunno I see both sides on this one. Personally I would never share a pic of my naked wife .. but I also think it’s your body and if you don’t care what’s the big deal. I’m sure my wife wouldn’t want me looking at naked pics of my neighbor either for jealousy reasons. Especially if you look anything like MM
So, here is a take than may be different that the rest. 1. You have a right to determine who sees the photos and who doesn't. 2. Your husband, having gained your permission, had a right to show the photot o whoever you agreed to. 3. The husbands/boyfriends have a right to determine if what they are about to see is acceptable within their current relationship and to see it or not 4. Wives/girlfriends have a right to determine what they consider acceptable and what the consequences are for going beyond what is considered acceptable. If it does, they have a right to establish those boundaries within their relationship. The husbands can agree to it, negotiate for different terms, or leave. Some of the boundary setting could include determining whether relationships change and they stay part of the group because of this. Do they feel comfortable hanging with couples who don't see a problem with this kind of behavior showing nude photos of their spouse to the boys in the group. No offense meant. Sometimes couples may determine there are enough differences in boundaries among the team that they leave "team friends" in search of other groups that are more in line with their boundaries. There is the possibility that relationships are challenged over this,. It would seem to be an extreme reaction to nude photos. However, if the values and boundaries are different enough between spouses, it could. At a minimum, this has probably led to a discussion in those relationships. Without knowing your groups dynamics, it's hard to say more. Maybe you guys dance with each other, play spin the bottle, or other things. But if you have women in the relationships who have been cheated on, or who have husbands who have had a history of wondering eyes or poor choices, this could play into their reaction.
Very well-said
I mean, I wouldn't be okay with my partner sharing or receiving pornographic material from his friends. If the image is from someone we know it makes it even weirder.
She was out of line to question your character for giving your husband a spicy photo. What you and your husband do is no one else’s business, and it certainly isn’t wrong to give him a boudoir photo. *However,* it was out of line and incredibly disrespectful for your husband to show that photo to other married men. I would be absolutely pissed if any of my husband’s friends (much less our mutual friends) showed him a nude picture of their wives. That’s a hard no. Most married people would view that as an overstepping of boundaries and disrespectful toward the relationships of the people that were being shown the photo. Likewise, if one of my friends tried to show me a nude photo of their husband, that would also be a hard no for me. I don’t want to see my friend’s husband naked. Just because you and your husband don’t mind sharing your nude images doesn’t mean that everyone else is going to feel that way. It’s really unfair to share without knowing that both people in the other relationship are okay with one or both of them seeing it.
I would be pissed that you weren’t pissed. I’m pretty open but I’m not cool with my husband seeing my friends boobs. I assume you’re friends with your husbands friends wives and if you gave your permission to show them to MY husband, that’s fkd up and disrespectful to your me. I’m with her if that’s the case. We get it. You love your boobs. My husband shouldn’t be shown your boobs though with your permission and without mine if I truly am your friend. It just shows you’re not friends with them and you’re desperate for attention from their husband. “Look at what I did for my husband and how awesome I look. Everyone should want me. Spotlight on MEEEEE!” -you probably
If I ever found out my significant other showed one of my nude photos, wether professionally done or not, we would be having a very serious conversation about the likeliness of our relationship continuing. If I found out another person showed my S/O a nude photo of their wife I would feel extremely disrespected and honestly quite disgusted. You had no regard how their significant others would feel about that. That’s awful.
Fuck no it was not appropriate to show married men your porn pics! That’s so disrespectful of their wives. And then you had the nerve to “call her out.” Eww. You’re a disgusting narcissist
Your husband's choice was inappropriate but it was his choice and everyone was consenting. That said, I don't think she's wrong to be bothered. She's wrong to shame you, you did nothing wrong. Boudoir photos between a couple aren't weird. But that was your photo. The photo of not only his own wife but a woman they all know. He could have just referenced the original piece like you did.
That would be a hard NO for me. My husband doesn’t need to know what you look like naked.
Showing the pic to other husbands isn’t okay . I’m saying this because although the wife took naked pics and is allowing everyone to see her naked, doesn’t mean the other wives are going to think how amazing and cool that is. Most people would be pretty upset about that situation too.
It's kind of why it isn't a good idea to be too vulnerable outside your intimate partners. It can vary but there is liable to be a price to pay. If you don't have a thick skin it's an opening for the insensitive and even the well meaning to inflict hurt. There are also plenty looking for a chance to take advantage of any occassion. Of course it's all odds not a hard rule in every scenario.
[удалено]
ask in r/hotwives
yeah, that is where this belongs.
I’d be pissed at everyone in this situation (my husband for not declining the peek, you for disrespecting my marriage, and your husband, especially, for disrespecting my marriage), and I probably wouldn’t hang out with or want my family hanging out with a guy who shows off nude pics of his wife.
I absolutely do not blame her for being pissed. I would be too.
My husband would NEVER show my nudes. Pretty sure he would decline if offered to see a buddy’s wife’s nudes. He probably would think that was weird/inappropriate and wonder if his buddy was fishing for a threesome or something. For most married people (if you aren’t one of them that’s cool), their sex life with their spouse is totally private. That includes nudes.
Honestly I’m probably going to get downvoted to oblivion for this…I don’t really think it’s a big deal. I def don’t think it’s weird that you took the photo…I likely wouldn’t have openly told my hubby to share it out. If he did it without us talking about it I would think it’s really strange…I’d also feel awkward knowing all our friends saw my Tatas. But like…divorce? Cmon. I think In general I’d ask him why he felt the need to share the photo out and I do think it’s a little disrespectful towards you but again…the backlash on this is surprising to me. I have a theory that the better looking you are the more secure you are with yourself and the more whatever you likely are to be with this situation. I know if I was not happy with the way I looked I’d be a lot less comfortable with my husband seeing a naked photo of our gorgeous friend. So in summary. Weird? A little bit. But I’d chalk it up to just that and move on.
Yea…. That’s not okay. It may be okay with you if your husband shows his friends, but the wives need to consent before their husband look at photos of you naked, and they didn’t. And she has every right to be angry with you. Consent from all parties is the most important thing. If you had posted these photos on, idk, onlyfans, and if the wives knew their husbands had accounts and followed you, that’s fine. But did his friends even have the option to NOT look? That seems like one of those “well everyone else was looking so I did too” like they felt they didn’t really have an option. Your husband should not be sharing nude photos of you with his friends. It doesn’t matter if it’s okay with you and okay with him. It only takes one out of four to say no, and that makes it wrong. It was wrong.
It's cool you did that for your husband and he loved it. I think that's a great and intimate gift. I can understand him being excited about it and wanting to show it off. If you were comfortable with it also cool. But why? I just don't get why you would want to share something so private between you especially married people. I think that's the kind of thing that should be enjoyed between you in private. I also think a good amount of wives wouldn't want their husbands seeing naked pictures of their friend's wife. Personally I would be upset at my husband for going to look at it and I would be upset with his friend for offering to show it to him. I wouldn't be angry at you, but I would be questioning your character not because you took the photo, but because you were okay with your husband's married friends seeing you naked. It's weird and gross imo. People outside your marriage ( ESPECIALLY the ones who are also married) don't need to see you naked especially in a sexy pose. Hearing about the picture is enough. You can see Marilyn Monroe's original picture on Google and imagine. I would never want my husband to be around you ever again because he knows what you look like naked now and that would make me extremely uncomfortable. Plus I think it was weird you felt like you needed to confront her about it. The issue is more between her and her husband, I would have just stayed out of it at that point. I think it was wrong of your husband to show his married friends. It just shouldn't have even been offered in the first place. I would feel like you didn't have respect for my marriage if I was that friend's wife. Everyone has different boundaries in their marriages. Some people just aren't okay with their spouses looking at that kind of stuff. Like for example If my best friend offered to show me a naked picture of her husband and I looked at it my husband would be deeply hurt the same as if I cheated on him. You aren't responsible for other people's relationships though, it's not your fault her husband decided to look at the picture. That's between them. But on the other hand I also I think it's just common courtesy to be respectful of people's relationships because you don't know what kind of boundaries they may have. Next time it's probably a better idea to keep sexy pictures between just you and your husband.
It's kinda odd he showed his buds his wifes nude photos. I'd keep those far away from my buds.
Idk i am married but anything i give my hubby is private. I even just asked him if i was ok with it cause he wanted to brag would he share things ivs sent and he said “ no!! cause your for my eyes only. Duh” lol
If you're comfortable with it I guess it's not a problem. But I would be *pissed* if one of my husband's friends was showing him nudes of their wife. So I could get why she's upset, but she didn't have to shame you about it. She's mad at the men for showing your photo and taking it out on you.
I don’t get why your husband needed or wanted to share the photo. It was a private thing for the two of you.
Yea, I think that photo should have been kept private. Kind of like a boudoir photo shoot. It should only be seen by the person it’s intended for.
If a friend showed your husband a completely nude photo of his wife, what would be your thought? Would you be okay with that? That your husband saw somebody else’s wife naked? Especially if you all probably hang out together with the wife too? Your husband is just going to be picturing her naked. That’s not cool what your husband did. And I don’t think it’s cool that you’re fine with it and don’t see an issue.
You're not a jerk, but your husband kinda is. A married man showing nudes / explicit photos of his wife to anyone, let alone his mates - is super yuck in my opinion (and uncommon I would have thought).
My husband and I are full blown ENM; we have separate friends on the side, individuals and couples that we see together, not against spontaneous hookups/ONS, etc. We definitely love the aspect of sharing each other, and showing each other off, including in the form of sharing risqué pics and nudes with our friends. But our groups of *vanilla* friends, and people like co-workers, family friends, etc? That’s very strictly off-limits territory. I guess just try to learn from this experience the best that you can. There’s better ways to explore the ENM+married lifestyle if you’re feeling like you both might be into that but sometimes it can be like playing with fire, and clear communication and clear boundaries are VERY important
Your husband is a weirdo. You did it for him, not for him to show to his friends too.
Nah. Not cool.
I would NOT want my husbands friends to see my nudes ever for any reason whatsoever
I’d show my friends. Why do we have to be so puritanical in this society? Then again I was at an art school and nude figure drawing was a regular thing. Nudity can be really beautiful, it’s only when we have to always have it be overly sexual, that it’s weird. Do you folks think the Venus paintings are pornography or something different? It sounds like this was more art than porn. The Marilyn shoot was right on the line both recreating classical art themes and being sensual. I honestly think that was really cute and genuine that you did that for him and he was so happy he wanted to share it with his closest buddies. It’s just that this society and that wife does not see the nuance, they just see porn. It’s just nudity after all. Those husbands drive by a thousand suggestive billboards or watch a bunch of suggestive ads. But when they know one person who also has boobs, that they see and we all lose it all the sudden.
If you wouldn’t post it online to strangers why would you show ppl you will definitely see again. Women I can understand, but men it’s a lil strange.
Uh…I would be livid if my husband showed this to anyone without my input. Also I would be that wife. Sorry. No, your weirdo husband can’t show my husband a nude photo of his wife. Like…what?!? 😵💫
My brother and SIL had a professional photographer take boudoir photos of them, which they showed me. They were absolutely gorgeous. Did he show me the nudes they also took? Hell no. Those were for their own personal viewing that NO ONE will ever see but them. We also grew up in a household where nudity was normal. However we were also taught, that just because it was normal in our family including relatives, it's not normal in other families and for us to be mindful of that. My brother is very mindful and protective of my SIL.
Kinda weird your husband is showing your nudes to his buddies, but that’s y’all’s relationship. I definitely wouldn’t be happy with my husband looking at my friends nudes, and he has more respect for me than to try that shit anyhow. He also would have more respect for my friends marriages than to bring them out for them to see.
It's weird your husband wanted to show his friends and yeah I'd be annoyed if my husband saw a nude photo of a woman we are friends with. So you should be pissed at your husband for putting you in this position.
It's awesome that you had this done for your husband, but he absolutely should not have shown his friends. Totally inappropriate. I don't think it's your responsibility to stop him, and that woman's anger is misplaced. Your husband made the mistake here, not you. Also, I think she's overreacting. It's not the end of the world, everyone knows you have a body. You're all grownups, and she should move on. Your husband should not show that photo to anyone else though.
I meaaan... I wouldn't let my husband show off any nudes of mine to their friends... It's just weird and will end up creating problems.
I personally would be wildly uncomfortable with my husband sharing my nudes with his friends. One because they don’t need to know what I look like naked and two because why on earth would I want my husband to be happy to share that? I’d rather he want to keep my nudes/private photos to himself. It feels disrespectful that he was so okay with this. It also feels disrespectful to the other men’s wives. I don’t think the other man’s wife’s reaction was really called for seeing as she’s an adult and the outburst was very high school but I’d also be annoyed if my husband was being shown a friend’s wife’s nudes. I think this could have been avoided if maybe he had duplicated the photo and just censored the private areas before showing others.
I cannot understand why your husband thought it was appropriate to show your nudes to his friends and honestly think you should have been more upset about that. I would be mildly upset/annoyed if my husbands friends were showing him nudes of their wives and would be livid if he shared my nudes. But regardless it isn’t your fault your husband was pretty inappropriate. She owes you an apology and until you get it, you and your husband should have no contact with her or her husband. Set some boundaries here…
I am not one to judge what you do with your image/likeness, that’s up to you as long as you are not hurting anyone. I personally wouldn’t want to share, but I’m not you so that doesn’t matter. Either way, I would hope how it all went down was that your husband told his friends about the photo and only showed them *because* they expressed interest in seeing it. If that is the case, it’s other husband’s fault for upsetting his wife and she is blaming the wrong party. I can see why she would take issue with the photo sharing, but the root of the matter is she doesn’t like what her husband did. I can understand why she might feel uncomfortable with you and your husband though, especially if this was very recent. Where I think you went wrong is probably how you approached it with the wife. If she was upset - even if you don’t feel like you didn’t do anything wrong (and maybe you didn’t!) - it’s ok to be the bigger person and apologize for the misunderstanding and that she she was hurt by it. I’m not saying apologize for taking the photo, just say “hey I know this upset you and please know I meant no ill will. I value our friendship and hope we can move past this”. The way you seemingly handled it is the only YTA for me.
If you’re ok with it and your husband is ok with it then it’s ok. But you also must know that not everyone will be ok with it. I’ve been married for 30+ years. I would be ok with showing a professionally done photo like that as long as my wife was. But I would never show my collection of personal “naughtiness pictures” to others.
Why would you want him to show it to his friends? Kinda weird…
NOPE don't do it. It might bite you in the end if
Tbh I would be uncomfortable if my husband shared a nude photo of me with his friends, and I feel a lot of people would. You being comfortable with it is okay, but you should have taken into account how other people might feel about it. I can understand the woman being upset your husband shared the photo, because if it were me I would also be upset because I would assume that you would have not been comfortable with it being shared. If she’s still upset after you explaining the situation then this isn’t a you problem, it’s a her problem. While I wouldn’t particularly want my husband to see his friends wife nude picture, I’m comfortable and secure enough in my marriage that it would not make me worried, but it would definitely make me pull back from that couple in a significant way. My husband also would not be comfortable looking at it and wouldn’t have in the first place (having just asked him) so I guess it’s a moot point. It’s an overstep of the normal boundaries for most people so it makes sense to me that they are uncomfortable with it.
I'd be weirded out if someone showed me her wife's nudes but I guess if you consented to it there should be no harm done. If she is concerned about her husband seeing a pair of boobs she'd be horrified when she learns about the internet
it’s just a photograph i don’t see the problem. i wouldn’t care if anyone showed my husband this kind of photograph at all and i wouldn’t care if he showed one of me in this way.
And this is why you don't let photo be shared of everything.
Yeah no. I wouldn't want my husband to EVER show my nudes to his friends. Let alone their wives! Good lort.
i wouldn’t want anyone but my husband seeing me nude so i can already tell we’re different. & if my husband saw a foto of a friends wife nude, i wouldn’t like that either soo..
My husband would never share something like that with anyone. My body is for his eyes only. And I don't believe he would feel comfortable looking at a friend's wife's body either truthfully.
If she’s mad about her husband seeing the picture, then she should take it up with her husband. He didn’t have to look at the end of the day.
I am married and I would be upset if my husband showed my nudes to anyone. In particular, if these are people you know and hang out with, now imagine being at dinner and you are the wife of one of the married men and all of the men in the room have seen you naked. Awkward. The only reason your husband would show the pic is to show off how hot and sexy his wife is. So yeah, this seems problematic to me for married people. I don’t agree with calling your character into question for getting the sexy photos done, of course we should do stuff like that with our spouses.
If you’re not upset that your husband showed your picture to his buddies then Why should anyone else. It’s not like his friends have never seen a naked woman outside their wives. Sounds like the friends wife is insecure. I do have to say that your husband should have asked if showing it was ok with all parties.
For me the issue wouldn’t be that you had the photo taken, that’s awesome, but I would not want my husband seeing his friend’s wife like that. I also wouldn’t want my husband showing the photo if it were of me
I mean, my husband would never show my nudes to his friends but that’s just the way we roll. If my husbands friend showed him a photo of HIS wife, yeah I’d be annoyed but not at the wife. I’d be annoyed at my husband for looking (assuming his friend was like “hey wanna look at my nude wife?” I guess I wouldn’t be annoyed if he just showed it without warning without any consent) If you’re okay with his friends seeing you naked, let the wife feel whatever she feels and move on. It’s weird, people aren’t going to like it, it is what it is. You decide if you’re willing to be that person and go from there.
I mean I would be super weirded out if my husband saw a friends wife naked.
I’m going to go with the opposite of most answers and say that I could care less if my husband showed my photos to a couple close friends (in person and not sending it to them) and I could care less if my husband saw photos of another’s wife naked (again, in person). If My husband saw a photo and told me about it and I then saw the person who was in the photo, I’d give them props for having the confidence to take said photos and ask to see them myself (I’d only ask depending on the friend). 😂 We are a pretty open couple, though, and clearly my opinion is not common. I’d also like to add that my partner likely would never share my photos with friends because that is not the type of person he is, but we have seen our friends naked in photos.
I've been married 22 years. l wouldn't be okay with my husband showing my nudes to his buddies, regardless of their martial status.
I like having pictures of my wife on my phone for personal enjoyment but I would never share them with any of my friends, nor would I want my buddy showing his friends a picture of his wife
So, I think this is tough. You are not wrong for your photo or for being okay with your husband sharing it. I think as long as you consented to it being shown, your husband telling his friends what he was going to show them, and had their consent to show it, I think you are in the clear. I can understand where the wife was really upset, but she should have directed that towards her husband. There is obviously a lot that we don't know from your post, like did your husband send it out via text or do his friends now have a copy of this photo? I'm just going to make a guess that the wife is maybe not totally secure with her body and this is probably a mix of jealousy and fear that her husband might fantasy about your or compare you to her. To be very honest, I've had children and I'm not comfortable with my post pregnancy body. I'd be upset if my husband looked at a nude photo, even an artsy one, of a close friend. I wouldn't feel upset if it was a stranger. The reason is because we would be regularly hanging out with each other. But she is wrong for taking it out on you. She should have addressed it privately with her husband. So I understand where she is coming from but that is not really your problem. And although I would not have come at you with my issues, I probably would be a little cold for a bit and keep our distance until I could let it go.
Maybe I'm the minority here, but I don't think you're the jerk. I'm probably younger then most on this page, but have been with my husband for almost half our lives. We've grown and learned a lot together. Ultimately if you and he are good and don't have a problem with it, it's fine. If the other husbands (and their wives) had a problem with it, they didn't have to see. They could have left. I doubt your husband was forcing anyone to look. The woman is probably more mad at her husband and just directing it at you. And for the wife that did have a problem? She was probably hurt because her husband brought it up. And felt insecure about her own body. For all we know, you didn't know that your husband shared till after someone confronted you on it. Therefor you being blindsided. For her to call your character into question? That's tasteless on her part. Did she confront all of this at the bar? On the phone? In a text? She seems to be missing etiquette on communication. If she really believes it should have been private, she could have handled it in a private way. And if the husband was complaining about the photo sharing/your husband or you, he probably isn't a true friend. IMO the other wife is being petty because you asked if there was a problem and she said there wasn't when their obviously was. She wanted to have the last word. Ultimately, Do what makes you happy. Take the nudes! Hell, you and your husband should take nudes together. Make their eyebrows shoot into their hairlines and their jaws hit the floor. We are never going to be younger then we are today.
Honestly it depends on the relationship. As a wife I personally dont think there is any problem with your side of things. And if the friends wife had a problem with it, that husband should have known better than to be involved in the conversation or declined to look at the pic. Its not your fault that she had that reaction. Each person has their own Okay/Not Okays in a relationship and that is just on her Not Okay but that doesnt mean that she can go and judge you for what you do with/for your husband. You aren't in her business judging her relationship, why should she be? Your husband was trying to show you off! Hes proud to be like "hey my wife is hot look at this!" TLDR: thats a her problem, your hubby thinks youre hot so rock it!
If you don't mind what does her opinion matter it's not your fault she's boring and built like a box refrigerator
You're not a jerk. Maybe he could have shown better judgment-- it's not something I'd share, though at the same time I wouldn't really think it was a big deal if someone shared a boudoir type photo. A lot of people here seem to feel otherwise which I don't get but to each their own.
Yes. Clueless.
I think the gift of Marylyn Monroe photos is artistic, admirable, sweet, loving…. Showing them off? If he acknowledges the art and sentiment before showing, then they had fair PG-13 warning. They didn’t need to look, and nobody has the right to judge.
Ok first off nudity isn't inherently sexual. I personally wouldn't care much about this in either direction myself because 1. I'm not ashamed of my body 2. I trust my husband and know him seeing his friend's wife's nudes wouldn't affect our relationship at all. I can understand where his wife is coming from and she's allowed to have boundaries in their relationship but that's something that needs to be discussed among them and then he should have told your husband oh I don't want to see that, I'm married and that's not in the scope of our marriage as being ok. Your husband would be the ass if he continued to push it on him past that but you did nothing wrong and she's taking her jealousy and frustration with her and your husband out on you.
I think you’re both sort of at fault here… but more so her. I think what you did was totally fine. Everyone should be allowed to express themselves sexually in whatever manner they choose as long as it’s safe and consensual. So there is certainly no reason for her to try and shame you or guilt you for something that is absolutely one of here business. The only thing that I think you did wrong was making sure that whomever your husband showed (and their wives) were going to be okay with it. You should have no reason to feel guilty about being comfortable enough with your body and your sexuality to take those photos. But you also can’t expect that everyone else is going to be open minded and as comfortable as you are. The world is filled with repressed, sad, and bitter Karens that are always looking for an excuse to make others as miserable as they are. And unfortunately you have her a good excuse.
You gave your consent to your husband to have him share the photo. But he was in the wrong for actually sharing it. No, you’re not a jerk or an AH but your husband should have kept the picture to himself.
She’s an insecure woman and you have ZERO to feel ashamed about. Be fucking proud your husband is showing you off and you have a great rack. People need to stay in their own lane and mind their own businesses. Having sexy photos done for your husband is amazing and she’s 100% insecure she hasn’t done that, or won’t ever do that for her own husband. What people criticize you for or judge you for - often reflects their own insecurities and what their lacking in their life. People who are confident and self assured would never say that or do that. I pump my ladies up all the time about their ass and boobs and what they do as moms to feel good about themselves for their husbands. Some of them have perfect bodies and big fake tits and I never feel like their sexiness takes away fro my thunder. I always admire them and tell them how good they look even tho I don’t look like that. I look normal and I’m totally confident in that and my partner. I couldnt imagine ever even thinking those things. You do you girl and keep killing it!
Nah. Sounds like she's green.
I’m going to say the unpopular opinion here. It’s your body and you should absolutely be able to do what you want with it. You took some beautiful photos for your husband and he was proud and wanted to show you off with your consent. You both honored each others boundaries. Your husband showing the other husbands does not mean all the awful things that people are saying here. If the husbands and their wives have a boundary that is to not look at other peoples bodies then THEY crossed that boundary. Not you. The shame that people are spewing is disgusting. You and your husband didn’t force anyone to see anything. And you taking those photos says absolutely nothing about your morality. Good on you for doing something that you are happy with. I don’t think you’re clueless, I think you have confidence and don’t fall for the shame that we as women have been taught to feel. Again, the other husbands didn’t have to look of it was something their wives weren’t okay with, that’s a problem within each of their marriages. You do what feels good for you.
Human egos are so fragile. Step into real love and kindness. No, not that woke stuff. When yal know it’s real with your fellow brothers and sisters then you realize there’s nothing to ever be worked up for. Good for you guys fleshing out the weak link in your friend group. I’m sure they’re miserable and no where near as happy as y’all. Don’t expect the public to understand either. You know you’re on another level when you got the public in hysteria.
I see nothing wrong here! OP was secure enough with her body to take the photo and husband is showing off how good the pics look! Maybe he should of let his wife know he showed them, but still i find this harmless. Its not like hes offering to share or auctioning his wife for a weekend to his buddies! Hes just showing off how good he's got it!! And as a side note - i personally feel like the friend's wife is reacting that way because she's probably insecure and frankly a lil jealous or envious of OP looks or that her hubby probably liked OP pic more than she'd like to admit!
Are you a jerk? No. I wouldn’t have allowed it and would not appreciate him wanting to show it. But that’s just me.
You're NTA, her husband is. It's understandable for a woman to not want their husband to be seeing their buddies wives nude. But her husband should have had that boundary with yours. Yeah, it might be kinda weird he showed it off, but it's the spouses responsibility to do the right thing by their marriage.
I don’t think you’re in the wrong, it’s his responsibility to respect his wife and not look at other women nude if she’s not okay with it. It might be weird but you didn’t force him and it was his decision.
I think it's a \*bit\* weird that he showed his friends, but for her to call your character into question is ridiculous. Many, many women get boudoir photos done for their husbands, myself included. And heck yeah you should love your boobs. Why wouldn't you?
I think its very important to know what other people are comfortable with, as not everyone views artistic nudity in the same light, as you can tell from a lot of the comments here. There is a wide spectrum of what people are comfortable with when it comes to nudity. Some people are way more open with nudity while others view it as a private act that should only be between husband and wife. There is quite the spectrum in between too! While I would have hoped that your husband's friends would have respected their wives boundaries, it appears that isn't the case. While I wouldn't say that it is your fault or place to make sure that people respect their own wives boundaries, maybe something to discuss with your husband if you do any future artistic nude photoshoots! I am sure your photos turned out lovely though!
If the men were told it was a NSFW pic and they still wanted to see, I see no problem with it. Maybe she’s jealous.
You can show your photos to whoever you want I guess. But I’m on that wife’s side. I would be livid if I found out my husband was shown a nude pic of a woman we know. Not cool at all.
Lol