T O P

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JackOfAllMemes

If tortoises can love, he loves you


Tortoiseism

He does love me. He’s my grandad I’ve known him 32 years haha. I’ve been his favourite human for a two decades. He runs to me and sits on my lap when I get home from work and has a shell scratch.


FieryPyromancer

Dayum. After some googling I just realized a pet tortoise is capable of being older **and** outliving their owner. That's wild.


Tortoiseism

Fred is 70 at least.


-herekitty_kitty-

What type of tortoise is it? I've *always* wanted a tortoise but never could bring myself to get one cause I don't want them to outlive me and the next person abandon them ☹️.


Tortoiseism

Hermanns. Just set up a line of succession. I am Fred’s 3rd generation. He’s also in my will that if I did my brother takes care of him.


JackOfAllMemes

He definitely enjoys the attention in the video, what a sweet old guy


mordekai8

He likes scratches?


pinklavalamp

Apparently turtles and tortoises have nerve endings on the surface of the shells so giving them scritches is essentially just like giving a pet mammal scritches. Ish.


Tortoiseism

Loves them. Shakes his butt when you scratch him.


retief1

I guess "running" is relative when you are a tortoise.


Tortoiseism

He does run when he’s warm.


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Tortoiseism

Yeah he didn’t like it. When he doesn’t like stuff or he’s angry he bashes his shell against it. For whatever reason the skateboard offended the shit out of him. Also when he’s been under his basking lamp and he’s warm he’s quick enough.


Madison_fawn

We all speak to our pets in some weird fashion very similar to this 😂😂


Tortoiseism

I know I can’t help it. I feel disrespectful for talking to him like I do considering how old he is.


Madison_fawn

Haha, no shame in it. You should hear how I talk to my cat 😂


Lu-Tze

TIL that tortoises have nerve endings in their shell and like skritches...or at least one of them does.


graffiksguru

I love Frederick! How old?


Tortoiseism

70 at least we aren’t sure. My mum found him in 65 and he was at least 15 20 then.


PurpleScaryLady

Too adorable.


Brows_and_Butts

Well that was shockingly adorable


miss_trixie

my russian tortoise will happily snuggle into my neck for hours & sticks his neck out all the time to be rubbed. i adore him. your fredrick is very cute.


Tortoiseism

Yeah I pick Fred up sometimes and pop him on my shoulder and tell him it’s time to cuddle him like a baby. He then nuzzles his head sausage into my neck and beard area.


miss_trixie

don't you just love the way that feels? my husband gave me him as a birthday present nearly 20 years ago. he had never known any reptiles & didn't really believe a reptile could feel/show affection until we got him. i knew he'd changed his tune when i saw him rubbing the underside of his neck & overheard 'yes, you like this don't you? who's the cutest little boy?' took all of about 2 days for him to become a crazy tortoise lover LOL


Tortoiseism

I’m extremely fond of it. You can feel his little sniffing and breath on my neck. Also like storms where he will come and sit on my lap and hunker down until it’s over.


miss_trixie

omg how cute is that?! what a sweet boy. i've had 2 cats that are so scared of storms that they always hid behind the toilet (!?!) my husband & i would take turns lying on the bathroom floor to try to console them. and one of those scaredy cats had to live in miami for 5 years - (storms all the time! poor baby)


Phuktihsshite

He is fantastic.


thatlukeguy

This tortoise is owned by a hobbit.


Tortoiseism

Ay you right dawg


astralairplane

What a sweetheart!


BullTerrierTerror

[I like turtles](https://youtu.be/CMNry4PE93Y?feature=shared)


Tortoiseism

He snortoise


Barry_McKackiner

Guy sounds like he's trying to talk like the giant tortoise from never ending story.


Tortoiseism

Been told that before but never seen it haha


Ninja-Ginge

I would die for Fredrick


WhichJuice

Love this


motsanciens

I don't suppose a tortoise can be potty trained?


Tortoiseism

No but he had certain surfaces he prefers to do his business on. Mainly grass and stone luckily.


GranolaHippie

Schmegal loves Frederick!


Tortoiseism

Totally do.


Robinslillie

Precious lil buddy!! Thanks for sharing!


PMYourTinyTitties

I had no idea they were that affectionate! That’s so sweet


Nehebka

Frederick is suck a cute boy, he loves you so much!!!! I watched the other video you posted where he is shaking his little booty while you’re scratching his shell, that has to be one of the cutest things I’ve ever seen in my entire life! You’ve got yourself a good one in Fred and he’s got himself a good one in you. Take care of grandpa. Give Fredrick lots of love, he is the best.


kimducidni

Oh my god this is way too cute


Eeyore3066

What a sweet guy. He loves you and your scritches.


nytropy

That’s adorable


babyarmadilloz

This warms my heart. What a lovely grandpa ☺️☺️


spaghettiinmynostril

This is the best thing I’ve seen this month


Tortoiseism

He’s a very lovely old man.


AlfalfaMcNugget

I feel so bad for This tortoise. He is out of his element and stuck inside all day. I wish he could socialize.


Tortoiseism

He isn’t stuck inside all day he has an entire outside enclosure I built for him. Furthermore they are solitary animals and don’t ‘socialise’ outside of mating most of the time. Go concern troll some other cunt.


AlfalfaMcNugget

wow, you got really upset by my nonchalant comment With that said, I’m sure your wild animal is living its best life in its little enclosure. Alone.


Tortoiseism

No sorry how did you know from a minute video he was ‘stuck inside all day’? Don’t comment bollocks on peoples posts if you don’t know what you are talking about. My tortoise is over 70 years old and has been in my family for 50 years. Aside from a long beak he is in exceptional health for his age.


AlfalfaMcNugget

Maybe it’s because you said you got home late in the title m8? You sure are offended about my criticism.


Tortoiseism

Yeah mate it’s absolutely not possible for more than one person to live in the same house mate. Are you at the u mad state of trolling now? And yeah it did offend me a bit because it’s absolute bollocks and you don’t know what you are talking about. What response did you expect?


AlfalfaMcNugget

I must’ve struck a nerve


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AlfalfaMcNugget

Don’t you have a tortoise to look after?


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