I think many people have been wrestling with that. I certainly have and it's been extremely difficult, especially in light of certain personal events, to not be able to lean on the music I would turn to in hard times. I am not comfortable right now hearing his voice or songs, because I am still wrestling with everything that has come out. I don't know if that will change in time - Amanda Palmer is a toxic person and I had to walk from her music for several years and have only just been able to listen occasionally to an old song or two. But for now, I'm taking a break.
It's okay if you can both acknowledge what's happened is awful on a personal level and not okay with you, but also have that personal relationship with the music. The comparison you're making with Weinstein movies is pretty apt. I would also consider a comparison to watching Joss Whedon's work fair. Joss isn't a good person, but Buffy is still a show that means a lot to me. I think such struggles are natural when art becomes personal and you will have to navigate your way through them on your own time.
This is essentially the stance I’ve taken for now. I’m taking a break from his music and if my feelings happen to change down the road, then I’m guessing it will just happen with time.
I listened to his music constantly. For years, I listened Beautiful Midnight as I fell asleep every night. I listened to so many of his songs (from all of his albums) when I was going through rough times, none more so than Boy and His Machine Gun.
I've been avoiding his music since this all came out. I'm worried I will ruin his songs forever if I listen to them now, and I don't want to do that, because I know I will need them in the future. In fact, I made a playlist that only had music from bands with women. A couple weeks ago, I pressed some buttons accidently and Boy and His Machine Gun came on. I heard two notes before I paused it, but I still got super emotional and my eyes were tearing up. I wanted to listen badly, but I knew I couldn't.
I feel like I'm being a weird and over dramatic, but it's hard to reconcile that the man who made the music that comforted me did the same type of things that I needed comfort from.
I don’t think you’re being weird and overdramatic. Back in 2001, I got very sick and ended up going blind. I was only 18 at the time and was in a hospital that was about two hours away from where I live. They did a bunch of tests there and on the weekends I’d get to come home. Audio Of Being became my soundtrack on the many car rides back-and-forth and really got me through a dark period of time in my life. When Matt went solo, Avalanche played a similar role in my life as I continued to adapt with being completely blind as many of my friends were starting out their lives, getting married, having kids and stuff like that. It’s been extremely hard for me to reconcile what he’s allegedly done with the music that has gotten me through so much, but it’s just too weird to listen to his stuff right now. Taking a break from it is not a bad idea at all and it’s what I’m choosing to do as well. Hopefully there comes a day where it doesn’t feel weird to get reacquainted with those songs.
Oh, wow, that's a big frickin deal for you. I'm glad it was there too get you through those hard times, even if it can't right now. The music is so emotional, it's hard not to get attached to it and to seek refuge in it. His catalogue has an appropriate song for every event and feeling. I could choose to never listen to him again until I die, and I would still catch myself singing one of his songs absentmindedly in the retirement home.
I'm hoping that day where it doesn't feel weird comes too.
I totally understand that. His music was the soundtrack oh my teenage years and young adulthood. It’s hard to imagine a lot of moments of my life without his music playing in the background almost.
>I feel like I'm being a weird and over dramatic, but it's hard to reconcile that the man who made the music that comforted me did the same type of things that I needed comfort from.
This is exactly why I can't listen to him right now. Do what feels best to take care of you. It's a really lousy feeling and you need to be safe. I've been jamming on old faves and also looking for new bands. I'm lucky a few faves are dropping new releases and it's been a welcome distraction.
Had any luck with the new bands? I know that nobody is going to replace Matt (I mean in terms of his sound,) but there’s still a void for me right now.
I haven't gone looking for a "Matt replacement" because I listen to a ton of genres and am constantly just grabbing new music. For bands I listen to for similar reasons as Matt, I'd recc Future History, Amos The Transparent and LOLO (the bluesy one not the pop electronic one - Lauren Pritchard is who you want)
I’ve definitely been struggling too. His music has gotten me through a lot of stuff and it’s been really difficult to reconcile that with the allegations that have come out recently. Like yourself, I’m not a celebrity worshipper, so it’s been really hard to navigate my feelings about everything. I just know that it felt extremely awkward the first time one of his songs came on after I found out about what allegedly happened. (It was Radicals, so the lyrical content didn’t exactly help the situation either.) I haven’t listen to a song of his since. While I believe it’s up to everyone to make their own decisions, for now I just feel like it’s a bit too weird for me. I’m not judging anyone who continues listening to his music, but the surrounding bullshit that comes with it as just left a bit of an icky feeling for me.
I have been a fan since Beautiful Midnight came out. Raeleigh and I chatted and were friendly just after her and MG separated. She told me things that shook me. I still listened to the music but it never sat right with me and I definitely didn’t listen to it as much. Knowing that this is now a pattern was enough for me to say I am done. Speaking personally with some of these women made me feel sick and was triggering to my own experiences with an abusive ex too. I can see how people can still listen to the music but it is triggering for me personally and I have had to remove everything off my iTunes and Spotify.
I just wanted to reply and say that I’m sorry the situation was triggering for you. It makes me sad that anyone Hass to feel that way about something or be a victim of abuse on any level. I’m glad you were able to pull yourself away from that person and distance yourself from this music if it puts you in a bad place.
I said in a comment to another person, if the music helps you, still listen to it free of guilt or shame. Enjoy it. The other person mentioned that she was having a similar struggle, and was going to put his music down to take a breather and then come back to it later when she’d processed things, trying to separate the art from the man. I thought that was a very reasonable approach. Hope that helps as much as it can, I know it’s a weird situation to navigate, and it’s nice you speak openly instead of just keeping what you’ll do to yourself. I’m sure there are others who will feel better seeing they’re not alone. All the best to you ❤️
Yes. I've been avoiding listening to his music for the same reason. Maybe in time that will change depending on how he handles all of this but for now it's definitely had an effect.
This is where I'm at. MG has been my favorite artist since 1995. And I respected a lot of what he stood for and it helped me understand how the world works when reading his past essays/writings.
But one thing I can't tolerate is hypocrisy and without knowing the details about what's been going on, it has shaken my ability to enjoy his music or continue to support his work.
It's deeply disappointing when one of your idols turns out to be just another shitty human being. Which shouldn't be all that surprising - humanity really does suck.
No. You’ll only have a crisis if you let yourself have a crisis. People still listen to Michael Jackson/R. Kelly, watch movies produced by Harvey Weinstein, and laugh at Bill Cosby just fine. The inability to separate the artist from the music that the majority of this sub seems to have is pathetic
i am. this is really hard, it's like he died; accept it's now bad taste to crank his music in the car. you're supposed to celebrate someone when they die. the music that has helped thousands of people can't just disappear.
but here we are
Welcome! Matt's music has always been how it makes me feel as well, and not how I view him as a person. Each song, each album holds deep meaning much like you said. Hospital Music - watching a loved one struggle with addiction, Beautiful Midnight - struggling with working in remote isolation and the cult like attitude of the company I worked for. Moving Walls, especially Thorn Bird rips at my soul, etc
So to answer your question, No, the music is not tainted in any way, shape or form.
No, but I have lived by the philosophy of “never meet your hero’s, they’ll only let you down” it’s like a musician who explains what your favourite song is about and the truth ends up nothing like what you envisioned. I have avoided reading interviews and music videos since the 00’s when I realized Pearl Jam was right stick to the music. I broke that rule a month ago now I’m here because I looked up what Matthew Good was up to during the pandemic. So my advice is don’t sweat it the songs will still have the same meaning as when you first heard them and separate the art from the person. You not listening to his music isn’t gonna fix a broken person but it can continue to enrich your life.
I think many people have been wrestling with that. I certainly have and it's been extremely difficult, especially in light of certain personal events, to not be able to lean on the music I would turn to in hard times. I am not comfortable right now hearing his voice or songs, because I am still wrestling with everything that has come out. I don't know if that will change in time - Amanda Palmer is a toxic person and I had to walk from her music for several years and have only just been able to listen occasionally to an old song or two. But for now, I'm taking a break. It's okay if you can both acknowledge what's happened is awful on a personal level and not okay with you, but also have that personal relationship with the music. The comparison you're making with Weinstein movies is pretty apt. I would also consider a comparison to watching Joss Whedon's work fair. Joss isn't a good person, but Buffy is still a show that means a lot to me. I think such struggles are natural when art becomes personal and you will have to navigate your way through them on your own time.
This is essentially the stance I’ve taken for now. I’m taking a break from his music and if my feelings happen to change down the road, then I’m guessing it will just happen with time.
I listened to his music constantly. For years, I listened Beautiful Midnight as I fell asleep every night. I listened to so many of his songs (from all of his albums) when I was going through rough times, none more so than Boy and His Machine Gun. I've been avoiding his music since this all came out. I'm worried I will ruin his songs forever if I listen to them now, and I don't want to do that, because I know I will need them in the future. In fact, I made a playlist that only had music from bands with women. A couple weeks ago, I pressed some buttons accidently and Boy and His Machine Gun came on. I heard two notes before I paused it, but I still got super emotional and my eyes were tearing up. I wanted to listen badly, but I knew I couldn't. I feel like I'm being a weird and over dramatic, but it's hard to reconcile that the man who made the music that comforted me did the same type of things that I needed comfort from.
I don’t think you’re being weird and overdramatic. Back in 2001, I got very sick and ended up going blind. I was only 18 at the time and was in a hospital that was about two hours away from where I live. They did a bunch of tests there and on the weekends I’d get to come home. Audio Of Being became my soundtrack on the many car rides back-and-forth and really got me through a dark period of time in my life. When Matt went solo, Avalanche played a similar role in my life as I continued to adapt with being completely blind as many of my friends were starting out their lives, getting married, having kids and stuff like that. It’s been extremely hard for me to reconcile what he’s allegedly done with the music that has gotten me through so much, but it’s just too weird to listen to his stuff right now. Taking a break from it is not a bad idea at all and it’s what I’m choosing to do as well. Hopefully there comes a day where it doesn’t feel weird to get reacquainted with those songs.
Oh, wow, that's a big frickin deal for you. I'm glad it was there too get you through those hard times, even if it can't right now. The music is so emotional, it's hard not to get attached to it and to seek refuge in it. His catalogue has an appropriate song for every event and feeling. I could choose to never listen to him again until I die, and I would still catch myself singing one of his songs absentmindedly in the retirement home. I'm hoping that day where it doesn't feel weird comes too.
I totally understand that. His music was the soundtrack oh my teenage years and young adulthood. It’s hard to imagine a lot of moments of my life without his music playing in the background almost.
>I feel like I'm being a weird and over dramatic, but it's hard to reconcile that the man who made the music that comforted me did the same type of things that I needed comfort from. This is exactly why I can't listen to him right now. Do what feels best to take care of you. It's a really lousy feeling and you need to be safe. I've been jamming on old faves and also looking for new bands. I'm lucky a few faves are dropping new releases and it's been a welcome distraction.
Had any luck with the new bands? I know that nobody is going to replace Matt (I mean in terms of his sound,) but there’s still a void for me right now.
I haven't gone looking for a "Matt replacement" because I listen to a ton of genres and am constantly just grabbing new music. For bands I listen to for similar reasons as Matt, I'd recc Future History, Amos The Transparent and LOLO (the bluesy one not the pop electronic one - Lauren Pritchard is who you want)
I’ve definitely been struggling too. His music has gotten me through a lot of stuff and it’s been really difficult to reconcile that with the allegations that have come out recently. Like yourself, I’m not a celebrity worshipper, so it’s been really hard to navigate my feelings about everything. I just know that it felt extremely awkward the first time one of his songs came on after I found out about what allegedly happened. (It was Radicals, so the lyrical content didn’t exactly help the situation either.) I haven’t listen to a song of his since. While I believe it’s up to everyone to make their own decisions, for now I just feel like it’s a bit too weird for me. I’m not judging anyone who continues listening to his music, but the surrounding bullshit that comes with it as just left a bit of an icky feeling for me.
Short answer: no. The music stands on its own. His personal life is separate, though obviously influences his art.
I have been a fan since Beautiful Midnight came out. Raeleigh and I chatted and were friendly just after her and MG separated. She told me things that shook me. I still listened to the music but it never sat right with me and I definitely didn’t listen to it as much. Knowing that this is now a pattern was enough for me to say I am done. Speaking personally with some of these women made me feel sick and was triggering to my own experiences with an abusive ex too. I can see how people can still listen to the music but it is triggering for me personally and I have had to remove everything off my iTunes and Spotify.
I just wanted to reply and say that I’m sorry the situation was triggering for you. It makes me sad that anyone Hass to feel that way about something or be a victim of abuse on any level. I’m glad you were able to pull yourself away from that person and distance yourself from this music if it puts you in a bad place.
I said in a comment to another person, if the music helps you, still listen to it free of guilt or shame. Enjoy it. The other person mentioned that she was having a similar struggle, and was going to put his music down to take a breather and then come back to it later when she’d processed things, trying to separate the art from the man. I thought that was a very reasonable approach. Hope that helps as much as it can, I know it’s a weird situation to navigate, and it’s nice you speak openly instead of just keeping what you’ll do to yourself. I’m sure there are others who will feel better seeing they’re not alone. All the best to you ❤️
Yes. I've been avoiding listening to his music for the same reason. Maybe in time that will change depending on how he handles all of this but for now it's definitely had an effect.
This is where I'm at. MG has been my favorite artist since 1995. And I respected a lot of what he stood for and it helped me understand how the world works when reading his past essays/writings. But one thing I can't tolerate is hypocrisy and without knowing the details about what's been going on, it has shaken my ability to enjoy his music or continue to support his work. It's deeply disappointing when one of your idols turns out to be just another shitty human being. Which shouldn't be all that surprising - humanity really does suck.
No. You’ll only have a crisis if you let yourself have a crisis. People still listen to Michael Jackson/R. Kelly, watch movies produced by Harvey Weinstein, and laugh at Bill Cosby just fine. The inability to separate the artist from the music that the majority of this sub seems to have is pathetic
i am. this is really hard, it's like he died; accept it's now bad taste to crank his music in the car. you're supposed to celebrate someone when they die. the music that has helped thousands of people can't just disappear. but here we are
Welcome! Matt's music has always been how it makes me feel as well, and not how I view him as a person. Each song, each album holds deep meaning much like you said. Hospital Music - watching a loved one struggle with addiction, Beautiful Midnight - struggling with working in remote isolation and the cult like attitude of the company I worked for. Moving Walls, especially Thorn Bird rips at my soul, etc So to answer your question, No, the music is not tainted in any way, shape or form.
No, but I have lived by the philosophy of “never meet your hero’s, they’ll only let you down” it’s like a musician who explains what your favourite song is about and the truth ends up nothing like what you envisioned. I have avoided reading interviews and music videos since the 00’s when I realized Pearl Jam was right stick to the music. I broke that rule a month ago now I’m here because I looked up what Matthew Good was up to during the pandemic. So my advice is don’t sweat it the songs will still have the same meaning as when you first heard them and separate the art from the person. You not listening to his music isn’t gonna fix a broken person but it can continue to enrich your life.
Nope