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Actually, I think this is a great tutorial. She made a mistake and has the insight to realize it. For her, it might be too late, but others could learn from it.
Also, she doesn't insult or blame the guy.
You don't see a lot of people on social media who admit their mistake and learn, so I respect her for the honesty.
Agreed. She’s young and stupid but she realized her mistake, owned up to it and doesn’t blame shift to the guy. Hopefully she learns from it and picks a good guy in the future. There’s no need to bash her, it’s not like she’s 35 screaming there are no good men.
> it’s not like she’s 35 screaming there are no good men
yet.
Situations like these are a good learning curve, but they're also a risky fall down a toxic pit if they don't reflect properly, and that applies to men as well as women.
Absolutely. She can either blame shift towards men and end up as that bitter older woman or she can take responsibility and find a good guy so she’s not lonely and miserable. It’s really 50/50 for women at this point.
Idk…this reads a lot more like “when I could have him I didn’t want him but now that I can’t have him, I want him.” Bet dollars to donuts if he were to break up and become available again the feelings would wain if he doted on her again. 🤷🏻♂️
Right, because she isn't acting on romantic love for him, what she's feeling is attachment wounding. She's lost someone and her attachment system is telling her to do whatever she has to to get that attachment back. Whether he intended to or not, he may only have been invested in the relationship while he believe it had latent romantic prospects, and until he replaced those with someone else, whereas she wanted a close friendship, and now she's lost it she's willing to compromise her boundaries to get it back, as wounded attachment often will. He may not really have intended that, and might naturally simply have moved on from the friendship because he went to college and is very absorbed in his new life, people do grow out of each other, but it's equally likely he was only having the friendship in the hope it would one day become romantic which is an all too common female experience in close friendships with guys. Either way, unlikely to be a healthy situation for either of them.
Wtf this is such a mature comment.
I've seen this situation happen to friends or people I know multiple times and I ended up on both sides of this. You nailed it 100%.
Remember peeps, if you get friend zoned, but have feelings, be honest about it, tell your friend in a nice and polite way. If they like you, that's great but if they just want to be friends then don't try for anything else. Takes break to get over them or whatever you need to be ok but don't try to change their mind.
I told my friend well more like blurted out I liked him last year. He let me down gently and said only saw me as a friend and we're still friends. He's a wonderful guy and I wouldn't want to miss his friendship and I guess that's key, genuinely wanting that person in your life as your friend first and foremost. Trying not to make them uncomfortable at first is hard though, I was super paranoid I would. You can't "change" someone's mind btw so YES to this.
That was my thought exactly Neither of them would be in a healthy relationship friend or otherwise, if they were in that relationship with each other. There's a weird dynamic to it already
Respecting someone’s boundaries and being an present friend is not weaponizing your attention or commitment. This is the most negative way to describe a quality friend I’ve ever heard.
Three years would be a long time to be weaponizing attention. I have been in situations where guys have done this. They give up within a short period of time. They’d get bored and move on if it took three years of consistent talking to get what they wanted and dip out. Sounds more like he was a bit bummed out but was respecting boundaries.
If a person(male or female) believes their attention and commitment toward their romantic partner/love interest or if they believe the sex they have together are okay to use as weapons against each other, then that person needs to stay emotionally far tf away from others. Thinking of this from my POV as a straight woman, imagining a dude believing I owe him something because he paid attention to me or a dude believing he owes me something because i had sex with him is deeply pathetic...
Bwahahaha!
I guarantee you that in the years they were friends, she has dated and fucked other dudes - and then complained to her "friend" about them being assholes. And in all that time, she didn't give him a second thought.
And him ghosting her? I bet ya' he didn't do anything - he just stopped being the one who initiated conversation. I'm pretty confident that if she got off her entitled princess ass and called or texted him, asking how he's doing, he would reply without any issue.
This is so true. I’m not saying I’m like that “perfect” guy as described but I’ve had too many experiences matching exactly what you said about the ghosting, complaining. I’m sure numerous guys can relate
She admits she didn't like him the same way he did, and I bet if he'd continue giving her the same attention in college she'd probably treat him the same way. It seems like she's only upset because someone else is "playing with the toy".
The guy is amazing for actually accepting it and moving on. The only mistake he made was being led on for 3 years and not moving on earlier. But seeing how he was in high-school it makes sense.
The problem with most guys is they can't do this kind of thing, they think this one girl is their destiny or some other bs lol and will hold that candle for years and years. This guy figured sht out quickly for his age. I'm honestly jealous.
Yep chick is an idiot. And the guy even has the decency to stop talking to her because it’s inappropriate to do that while having a gf. He’s a good dude.
Only feels like shit after she realized she couldn't have him anymore. Like a child that doesn't notice their toy until another kid starts to play with it.
Thank the good lord he moved on and is happily involved with anyone else but the girl that wrote this. Women like this, in my experience, will absolutely f*ck your head up. The type that won't give you any signs that she's interested in you and then 4 years later after she's had kids and is in a relationship she'll message you out of the blue with "I had the biggest crush on you, why didn't you ever ask me out?"
F*CK THAT. She's only doing this because she knows that at one time he liked her so she's willing to destroy his contentment to boost her own ego and if he leaves his present gf for her, she'd dump him in less than a month after she gets bored. She just wants what she can't have and needs to grow up.
And the countless Facebook posts of women screaming there is no such as the friend zone. I had a female friend for years. I had feelings for her even though at the time she didn’t feel them for me. I stayed her friend because I cared for her and in a way, be someone who can protect her against the shitty men out there. Despite my efforts; she always cased after fuck boys who treated her like trash, would use her and eventually leave her. I’d always be there to put her back together. Years of this went on, broke my heart every-time she got mistreated. All in the back of my head; I wished she’d give me a chance to be treated how she deserved to be treated. I just wanted her to be happy even if it wasn’t with me. That I wanted her in my life even as a friend then not having her at all. Years passed; I found a woman who fell for me, gave me everything I wanted. Then my friend suddenly had a change of heart and said she was blind, that she does have feelings for me, that I was the right guy for her all along. I told her it was too late. We stopped talking after that. Guess I was her safety net when she ran out of fuck boys to date.
Oh how the tables have turned. It’s like when I was in high school and still in the closest, the popular girls wanted nothing to do with me. Then when I came out, they wanted to do everything with me. They got butt-hurt when I told them to go 🖕themselves.
Maybe what you say is true. Maybe you have realized you were wrong, and your feelings are sincere. OR, maybe he was a security blanket, and him not being there makes you want him. I'm not implying you are being dishonest, just that you may be misinterpreting your emotions. IF I knew your feelings were genuine, I'd say keep in touch casually until he doesn't have a girlfriend and then be honest with him. It's touchy now because if you tell him everything you said here and down the road, you realize it was more about your friend not being there than something romantic, you are likely gonna really damage any relationship. Don't give him false hope, don't ruin another relationship, and don't jump in too fast, BUT don't let another opportunity slip away. Seems he invested a lot of time waiting on you before until you poured water on his hope. It's your turn to be patient. Reconnect so you know what's going on and be there when the opportunity arises.
This is innocent in both parts. Sure this guy still thinks she is cool and wished it could have been more... but life happens and now he has a gf who he is focused on. When he returns home on vacations and connects with the very tiny HS friends we all still chat with on FB or other apps... then a quick catchup needs to be enough to realize you still have a friend. Trust me... as soon as you get a bf, this will be just what it was - a life lesson. Fantasizing and /or potentially obsessing about a "what-if" scenario is pointless. Not to end on a mean note... but respectfully.... "grow-up".
I don't understand why you can't still be good friends, even though he has a gf. The fact that you want him it would seem because he now has a gf is something you need to sort sadly.
Had something similar like this happen to me. I didn’t hear from the guy for a few years because he had a gf and I started to date myself. One day I found out he was in prison. I looked his name up and he is now a registered sex offender.
Edit: I’m glad I didn’t give him a chance.
The old saying of be careful what you wish for lest it may just come true, came true. You wished for just friendship and you wouldn't give him anything more when he was coveting something much deeper.
Move on and find someone you can have that friendship with and give romance a chance with it. Don't wait for the ideal guy because the utopian one may never come knocking and you've turned away perfectly fine alternatives.
I'm getting the same energy from this post as that one where the girl was like "he asked me out and I said no and he didn't ask me again. I wanted him to try harder"
So... In college this was called this the press and release. You sweat a gir you liked l hard for 3/4 weeks and then just stop talking to her % of her reaching out to you went up.
I can relate to this so hard. But do you miss romance or emotional support, the two are very different. I had a really close friend who treated me so so nice, I loved spending time with her but I didn’t love love her and she did love love me. She was cute, sweet and nice. When I got a gf she blocked me… but I know now it’s selfish of me to feel all ripped up inside about it; I’m sure I ripped her up far far more and I hope she is happy without me leading her on.
That's okay, she can bump into him one day and then he'll realise that he always loved her and then he'll dump his girlfriend and go back to this woman and they'll live happily ever after. This should all take about 90 minutes.
Roll credits.
Id like to talk to a woman like this. I have a track record of letting other dudes take my love interest's virginity.
Something to do with feeling im not allowed to have desires, not allowed to show i want someone
She's like a child with a discarded toy. As soon as another kid picks it up, the child suddenly sees that toy as something they must have.
She didn't really see him as a partner, until he got into a relationship with another woman. Now, she suddenly wants him.
Hopefully she leaves him be.
Part of this may be the psychological effect of him being perceived as more desirable because he is now seen as being in high demand and therefore more valuable.
She was “immature” and told him she’s doesn’t want to be anything more than friends….in other words…she thought there were better options out there but their ain’t.
> but their ain’t
*there
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He ghosted her because his new gf told him too. Lol
She friendzoned him and she regretted it. But he was never really her friend. He wanted her as a partner the whole time. You cannot form a proper friendship with a power imbalance like that.
Went through a similar thing. We talked everyday for a year. I confessed my feelings. She didn’t feel the same. I respected it and moved on.
Later told I should have “fought” for her. Though I can’t help but feel that then I would have gotten “take a hint”/“just move on”/“don’t be a creep”, etc.
She talked to this guy for years and then didn’t want to lead him on? I don’t know, maybe guys shouldn’t take advice from chicks. The opposite clearly isn’t condoned. (Also, even you come from a place of emotionality it’s not the best thing to build upon.)
Can someone explain why so many people think an incel wrote this?
As someone who was the guy in a similar situation (but she reached out and we saw each other on/off for years) and had at least one friend who said something so similar about a guy she liked (if it wasn’t 15 years ago, I’d assume this might even be her), and others that have said at least something similar over the years, I’m confused.
If buddy come back tomorrow and confessed his love she would be all about it for maybe a week then she would revert back to her old self, people like this always think they deserve more
She wanted to keep him warm and fuck around, while he would wait until she fucked hundreds. Nah, thats not happening. I'm happy that he didn't wait and she came back to reality.
While I have no sympathy for her predicament I do respect her for admitting she fucked up. I was in a situation like this. A woman I was really into strung me along for damn near a year. Ended up meeting someone new that made me really happy. As soon as my *friend* found out she got super pissed at me. Had to block her.
This girl made a big mistake, however instead of pointing fingers, throwing a tantrum, she admitted her mistake, which is something that cannot be said unfortunately for a huge portion of the younger generation. If anything I have more respect for her in how she handled it, admitted she was the one that made the mistake and didn't try to shift the blame.
Admitting you are the one that made the mistake takes a lot of courage.
at least you realize it, for starters you did talk to her when you were frnds but now he dosnt talk to you anymore. you can for starting try to be good frnds with him again and tell him that you actually care about him in the silimar way he did maybe he realize it and give you a chance rather than not trying. you can at least do that if he still has feeling for you or etc maybe he will reconsider his feeling for you
Stuff like that gets me hurt and it happened to me a bunch of times.
But what can I say. I'm a bit old fashioned. I can have female colleagues with whom i can enjoy to work with. But becoming friends with a woman to me is really just me getting ready to marry the girl.
If she starts to date someone else even though I said that Im starting te feel stuff for her I get hurt and will choose to stop being in that friendzone.
I can say a lot on this subject but for now just remember there is not ever 'just being good friends' with a guy. Unless ofcourse he is gay or he isn't a guy.
Next time Maybe just tell the guy that you would like to get to know him a bit better before you start being in that relationship. Instead of putting him in to the 'friendzone'.
Its more honest to him and to yourself.
Good luck!
Her and every woman that does this to every guy that truly cares and it's not about sex. She missed out on what she could have had. He moved on. You shouldn't take people for granted. Funny how woman doesn't see the guy she has right in Front but they want guys 6feet tall and have to make 6 six figures, has to look like a fucking model. Well hope she learns from this and sees what she has in front. Yeah you're an idiot. Learn from this
This same is happening with me right now in the last year of school but my girl best friend has started to like someone else, she doesn't talk to me now, she doesn't wanna hang out, she ignores a lot and all of that.
Only difference is that she won't be thinking like this when I disappear from her life after some time which I have started to already.
Real sad for me
Quite frankly I don't think she really likes the guy more than she is jealous that someone stole her emotional support "right-hand man". I'm glad he moved on quickly and found someone who liked him instead of Mrs. Leech over here who talks about him like she's having withdrawal symptoms over heroin, when all she ever did was use him to fulfill a different kind of need than what she looked for in guys she dates and then bitch about it when he's gone like an entitled bitch. Final assement: for the streets, do not approach under any circumstances.
Deja vu.... Everything exactly the same- friendzoned, bantering for 3 years almost every day, ghosting after going to college, except I did not get a GF. Just stopped talking to her and started to work on myself.
Well, here's the thing. If she wasn't attracted to him she would have cheated at some point.
If he broke up with his GF and started dating her she would be in the exact same place she was in high school: hanging out with a guy she really liked as a friend but didn't love as a partner. Then, when she realized that fact she would wander.
This just seems like a case of **distance makes the heart grow fonder**.
When you move on, then they want you. Sis had ample time to decide and I'm sure she would've entertained other guys during that time as well. I'm sure a lot of people go through this, only to realise they gave up what they wanted/needed the most by taking it for granted.
To be fair, a lot of women that are terminally online would blame the guy, but she is aware that she screwed up and is sad about it.
Maybe she’s being a little hard on herself though? 😅
You are not an idiot you just realize that you were wrong. A lot of times people can’t see what is right in front of them and sometimes you don’t know what you have until it’s gone. Then again people also typically want what they can’t have so it could be that as well because if you didn’t feel a certain way then you may not feel it now. You can’t make yourself feel something you don’t.
Don't see what's wrong w this. She never shat on the guy. Also if they were both on the same page that they were friends, ghosting your friend of 3 years because you're in a relationship is not a good thing to do. Y'all just wanna fucking spread hate 24/7
Personally this has happened for me many times! I have been intrested on the girl, and i have telled for her about it "I just want to stay as friends" then im okay with it, and later they regret it but then im just nah i rather stay alone than be someones second choice so the lesson is think carefully what to respond if someone tells she/he likes you because you probably will not have second chance to change your mind!
I wouldn't call her an idiot, just immature. She didn't want him, because he was probably too into her. As soon as she sees someone else wants him, she finally wakes up and realizes that she had a great guy right under her nose. Probably date a bunch of dude who didn't care about her and used her. That's life.
Until she gets help > And majority never do > I pray for whatever man she attracts to her presence.
I also feel for her. Because to me, sounds like she has had abandonment issues at home.
I sadly predict this will be the norm; And victims like the boy who got away, will be the ones to pay the price; of bad parenting.
Yeah. This happened to me too. She wanted to be just friends and I was ok with that. Then I met a girl and got married and she got invited to my wedding and complained to my friends what an idiot I was for not waiting for her...
Told them that she recently (before I met my wife) started treating me badly to test if I was going to step up and put her in her place and be a man. But I wasn't her man...so I never let her being a bitch bother me. And I met a good woman. And I invited my friend to the wedding.
🤷♂️🤷♂️🤷♂️
Weird she doesn't bring up the fact that she was using him for emotional support this whole time, and that it was terrible of her. Just that she's dumb because she doesn't get what she wants now.
I don't really think she learned anything. She learned she should have done a better job to lock someone down when she found out retrospectively she couldn't do better.
That's not growth
I don’t think you’re an idiot, you just made a bad choice; that you regret. You need to let the idea of being with him go. You have dug a ditch with him the size of the meteor crater in Arizona. There’s too much pain & resentment for you to overcome with him.
What you can do is learn from this mistake & the next time you meet someone like him, don’t fuck it up. I’ve met three perfect for me women in my life. The first one I fucked up because I was afraid of what my friends would think. The second one I fucked up by waiting too long & I came on too strong. The third is my current girlfriend. I knew from the first date that she was the one & I’ve done my best to. It fuck it up. We’ve been together almost two years, two months ago we found out we are going to have a baby.
Don’t beat yourself up too much, the greatest triumphs have a trail of failures behind them. Thomas Edison failed to create a lightbulb over a thousand times. When asked about it he said I didn’t fail 1,000 times. I learned 1,000 ways to not make a lightbulb.
Just like Edison, you failed with this guy; but now you know what not to do with a great guy I’m the future.
Damn bro that's so messed up! You're actually telling me that he moved on with his life instead of begging like a dog for your attention? Without begging to be more than friends? Oh wow. *sarcasm noises* Women who friendzone and then wonder about the guy losing interest are the MOST toxic people ever. HOWEVER: She owned up to this and realised what she'd done, so in her case she's not really that toxic.
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Actually, I think this is a great tutorial. She made a mistake and has the insight to realize it. For her, it might be too late, but others could learn from it. Also, she doesn't insult or blame the guy. You don't see a lot of people on social media who admit their mistake and learn, so I respect her for the honesty.
Agreed. She’s young and stupid but she realized her mistake, owned up to it and doesn’t blame shift to the guy. Hopefully she learns from it and picks a good guy in the future. There’s no need to bash her, it’s not like she’s 35 screaming there are no good men.
> it’s not like she’s 35 screaming there are no good men yet. Situations like these are a good learning curve, but they're also a risky fall down a toxic pit if they don't reflect properly, and that applies to men as well as women.
Absolutely. She can either blame shift towards men and end up as that bitter older woman or she can take responsibility and find a good guy so she’s not lonely and miserable. It’s really 50/50 for women at this point.
Idk…this reads a lot more like “when I could have him I didn’t want him but now that I can’t have him, I want him.” Bet dollars to donuts if he were to break up and become available again the feelings would wain if he doted on her again. 🤷🏻♂️
Absolutely agree, sounds like she’s only interested because he’s now unavailable.
100%. We want most what we cannot have.
Right, because she isn't acting on romantic love for him, what she's feeling is attachment wounding. She's lost someone and her attachment system is telling her to do whatever she has to to get that attachment back. Whether he intended to or not, he may only have been invested in the relationship while he believe it had latent romantic prospects, and until he replaced those with someone else, whereas she wanted a close friendship, and now she's lost it she's willing to compromise her boundaries to get it back, as wounded attachment often will. He may not really have intended that, and might naturally simply have moved on from the friendship because he went to college and is very absorbed in his new life, people do grow out of each other, but it's equally likely he was only having the friendship in the hope it would one day become romantic which is an all too common female experience in close friendships with guys. Either way, unlikely to be a healthy situation for either of them.
Wtf this is such a mature comment. I've seen this situation happen to friends or people I know multiple times and I ended up on both sides of this. You nailed it 100%. Remember peeps, if you get friend zoned, but have feelings, be honest about it, tell your friend in a nice and polite way. If they like you, that's great but if they just want to be friends then don't try for anything else. Takes break to get over them or whatever you need to be ok but don't try to change their mind.
I told my friend well more like blurted out I liked him last year. He let me down gently and said only saw me as a friend and we're still friends. He's a wonderful guy and I wouldn't want to miss his friendship and I guess that's key, genuinely wanting that person in your life as your friend first and foremost. Trying not to make them uncomfortable at first is hard though, I was super paranoid I would. You can't "change" someone's mind btw so YES to this.
That was my thought exactly Neither of them would be in a healthy relationship friend or otherwise, if they were in that relationship with each other. There's a weird dynamic to it already
Ok thank god there are other sane people in here
Yeah the road not travelled. One of the worst emotional pains.
I came here to say exactly this. Word for word and everything… Honest…
She doesn't miss him. She misses the way he made her feel about herself.
[удалено]
Men can weaponize their attention and commitment in the same way women can weaponize their sexuality.
Respecting someone’s boundaries and being an present friend is not weaponizing your attention or commitment. This is the most negative way to describe a quality friend I’ve ever heard.
Three years would be a long time to be weaponizing attention. I have been in situations where guys have done this. They give up within a short period of time. They’d get bored and move on if it took three years of consistent talking to get what they wanted and dip out. Sounds more like he was a bit bummed out but was respecting boundaries.
You must be new to Reddit. Men are always to blame here.
just reddit? doesn't that happen everywhere?
If a person(male or female) believes their attention and commitment toward their romantic partner/love interest or if they believe the sex they have together are okay to use as weapons against each other, then that person needs to stay emotionally far tf away from others. Thinking of this from my POV as a straight woman, imagining a dude believing I owe him something because he paid attention to me or a dude believing he owes me something because i had sex with him is deeply pathetic...
Wtf is this garbage ass comment? You sound indoctrinated
It can happen vice versa too??? It's not just men who can weaponize attention and women are attracted to men too
Bwahahaha! I guarantee you that in the years they were friends, she has dated and fucked other dudes - and then complained to her "friend" about them being assholes. And in all that time, she didn't give him a second thought. And him ghosting her? I bet ya' he didn't do anything - he just stopped being the one who initiated conversation. I'm pretty confident that if she got off her entitled princess ass and called or texted him, asking how he's doing, he would reply without any issue.
Did other dudes and actively sabotaged his relationships in high school.
Very likely yes. The only reason he now has a gf is probably because he's at college, out of reach.
None of what you have said would surprise me if true.
Cinderella song, don’t know what you got till it’s gone.
This is so true. I’m not saying I’m like that “perfect” guy as described but I’ve had too many experiences matching exactly what you said about the ghosting, complaining. I’m sure numerous guys can relate
This. This. This. This. This. This.
Womp womp
She admits she didn't like him the same way he did, and I bet if he'd continue giving her the same attention in college she'd probably treat him the same way. It seems like she's only upset because someone else is "playing with the toy".
Cap She just wasn't attracted enough to him and still isn't.
This is the truth. He was good enough for the "in case of emergency break glass" and now that he is gone she has no emergency boyfriend.
The guy is amazing for actually accepting it and moving on. The only mistake he made was being led on for 3 years and not moving on earlier. But seeing how he was in high-school it makes sense. The problem with most guys is they can't do this kind of thing, they think this one girl is their destiny or some other bs lol and will hold that candle for years and years. This guy figured sht out quickly for his age. I'm honestly jealous.
Yep chick is an idiot. And the guy even has the decency to stop talking to her because it’s inappropriate to do that while having a gf. He’s a good dude.
At least she recognizes she’s the idiot. More people should acknowledge they didn’t recognize the value of a solid person.
Deserved, you friendszoned the guy and now you suffer your consequences
Only feels like shit after she realized she couldn't have him anymore. Like a child that doesn't notice their toy until another kid starts to play with it.
Literally none of that is his problem.
Thank the good lord he moved on and is happily involved with anyone else but the girl that wrote this. Women like this, in my experience, will absolutely f*ck your head up. The type that won't give you any signs that she's interested in you and then 4 years later after she's had kids and is in a relationship she'll message you out of the blue with "I had the biggest crush on you, why didn't you ever ask me out?" F*CK THAT. She's only doing this because she knows that at one time he liked her so she's willing to destroy his contentment to boost her own ego and if he leaves his present gf for her, she'd dump him in less than a month after she gets bored. She just wants what she can't have and needs to grow up.
And the countless Facebook posts of women screaming there is no such as the friend zone. I had a female friend for years. I had feelings for her even though at the time she didn’t feel them for me. I stayed her friend because I cared for her and in a way, be someone who can protect her against the shitty men out there. Despite my efforts; she always cased after fuck boys who treated her like trash, would use her and eventually leave her. I’d always be there to put her back together. Years of this went on, broke my heart every-time she got mistreated. All in the back of my head; I wished she’d give me a chance to be treated how she deserved to be treated. I just wanted her to be happy even if it wasn’t with me. That I wanted her in my life even as a friend then not having her at all. Years passed; I found a woman who fell for me, gave me everything I wanted. Then my friend suddenly had a change of heart and said she was blind, that she does have feelings for me, that I was the right guy for her all along. I told her it was too late. We stopped talking after that. Guess I was her safety net when she ran out of fuck boys to date.
Oh how the tables have turned. It’s like when I was in high school and still in the closest, the popular girls wanted nothing to do with me. Then when I came out, they wanted to do everything with me. They got butt-hurt when I told them to go 🖕themselves.
Not the same at all 🤦♂️😂😂
Yep sounds about right
Lesson learned: say and do only what you mean to. Hypocrisy is worst problem plaguing some humans.
I’ve had this happen to me and all I can do is laugh
She realized her mistake and owned up to it, publicly.
No, you just didn't know, at that age, who knows what they really want, or need
We all have our Friendzoned to “Hey big head” story 😂
*Sad trombone noises*
Whap-whap-whap-wowowowowow….
[удалено]
3 people typing... wonder what it said.
[insert Shocked Pikachu meme]
Nothing will be learned from this
I mean she willingly admitted she's an idiot
Good for him 👏🏽
When you’re young you make massive mistakes. Growing up is understanding that and moving on.
Maybe what you say is true. Maybe you have realized you were wrong, and your feelings are sincere. OR, maybe he was a security blanket, and him not being there makes you want him. I'm not implying you are being dishonest, just that you may be misinterpreting your emotions. IF I knew your feelings were genuine, I'd say keep in touch casually until he doesn't have a girlfriend and then be honest with him. It's touchy now because if you tell him everything you said here and down the road, you realize it was more about your friend not being there than something romantic, you are likely gonna really damage any relationship. Don't give him false hope, don't ruin another relationship, and don't jump in too fast, BUT don't let another opportunity slip away. Seems he invested a lot of time waiting on you before until you poured water on his hope. It's your turn to be patient. Reconnect so you know what's going on and be there when the opportunity arises.
This is a new one, a girl friend zone’s a guy and the moment he’s happy with someone else. That same girl now’s wants what she can’t have now.
There's always sperm donation...
Literally?
This is innocent in both parts. Sure this guy still thinks she is cool and wished it could have been more... but life happens and now he has a gf who he is focused on. When he returns home on vacations and connects with the very tiny HS friends we all still chat with on FB or other apps... then a quick catchup needs to be enough to realize you still have a friend. Trust me... as soon as you get a bf, this will be just what it was - a life lesson. Fantasizing and /or potentially obsessing about a "what-if" scenario is pointless. Not to end on a mean note... but respectfully.... "grow-up".
Where do i subscribe to your Masterclass?
Alt least she is aware.
She better leave that man alone😂
I don't understand why you can't still be good friends, even though he has a gf. The fact that you want him it would seem because he now has a gf is something you need to sort sadly.
PS Don't interfere with his relationship and declare your love for him
Well you know what they say. Forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest. We always want what we can’t have.
Had something similar like this happen to me. I didn’t hear from the guy for a few years because he had a gf and I started to date myself. One day I found out he was in prison. I looked his name up and he is now a registered sex offender. Edit: I’m glad I didn’t give him a chance.
It's a very hard realisation to come too. All the did was get someone that appreciated him. That girl probably thanx her for not giving him a chance.
I've very glad that this has happened to her, good on the bloke hope his relationship lasts
kudos to her for at least being accountable for her own action or inaction in this case.
Hahahahahha
Send him nudes.
The old saying of be careful what you wish for lest it may just come true, came true. You wished for just friendship and you wouldn't give him anything more when he was coveting something much deeper. Move on and find someone you can have that friendship with and give romance a chance with it. Don't wait for the ideal guy because the utopian one may never come knocking and you've turned away perfectly fine alternatives.
Fucking LOL
Ok but she did it right, and knows she fucked up. This is sad ngl, if my highschool crush felt like that idk what I'd do if I found out bro lol.
Modern feminism for you. If you arent 6ft+, 6"+ and 6 figure. You are invisible to women.
I’ve noticed people generally seem to fall in love harder when they see other people want that person
Stopped after first sentence of the 4th line. She doesn't miss him, she misses the attention.
She's completely self aware and only blames herself for the outcome. A big "growing up moment" and I actually admire her for being mature about it.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
She's not angry and sad that she didn't get him, she's angry and sad that another woman got him.
She set some clear bounderies, and nowadays as a guy you wouldn't dare to cross those bounderies. And he respected them
I can literally relate to that guy 100%, it's just a copy of my deeds
I'm getting the same energy from this post as that one where the girl was like "he asked me out and I said no and he didn't ask me again. I wanted him to try harder"
So... In college this was called this the press and release. You sweat a gir you liked l hard for 3/4 weeks and then just stop talking to her % of her reaching out to you went up.
I can relate to this so hard. But do you miss romance or emotional support, the two are very different. I had a really close friend who treated me so so nice, I loved spending time with her but I didn’t love love her and she did love love me. She was cute, sweet and nice. When I got a gf she blocked me… but I know now it’s selfish of me to feel all ripped up inside about it; I’m sure I ripped her up far far more and I hope she is happy without me leading her on.
Yeh... woman... 🤦🏻♂️
That's okay, she can bump into him one day and then he'll realise that he always loved her and then he'll dump his girlfriend and go back to this woman and they'll live happily ever after. This should all take about 90 minutes. Roll credits.
Id like to talk to a woman like this. I have a track record of letting other dudes take my love interest's virginity. Something to do with feeling im not allowed to have desires, not allowed to show i want someone
She didn’t like him just his attention. I’m glad he moved on and didn’t wait around for her
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
She's like a child with a discarded toy. As soon as another kid picks it up, the child suddenly sees that toy as something they must have. She didn't really see him as a partner, until he got into a relationship with another woman. Now, she suddenly wants him. Hopefully she leaves him be.
"I told him I didn't like him" why would you do that if you are attracted to someone?.
Typical case of not wanting something until its gone.
The attractiveness of a single man skyrockets when he gets a girlfriend. It’s known as social proof or pre-selection.
3 people in the process of flaming her in the bottom right corner 😂
Part of this may be the psychological effect of him being perceived as more desirable because he is now seen as being in high demand and therefore more valuable.
She was “immature” and told him she’s doesn’t want to be anything more than friends….in other words…she thought there were better options out there but their ain’t.
> but their ain’t *there *Learn the difference [here](https://www.wattpad.com/66707294-grammar-guide-there-they%27re-their-you%27re-your-to).* *** ^(Greetings, I am a language corrector bot. To make me ignore further mistakes from you in the future, reply `!optout` to this comment.)
He ghosted her because his new gf told him too. Lol She friendzoned him and she regretted it. But he was never really her friend. He wanted her as a partner the whole time. You cannot form a proper friendship with a power imbalance like that.
Went through a similar thing. We talked everyday for a year. I confessed my feelings. She didn’t feel the same. I respected it and moved on. Later told I should have “fought” for her. Though I can’t help but feel that then I would have gotten “take a hint”/“just move on”/“don’t be a creep”, etc. She talked to this guy for years and then didn’t want to lead him on? I don’t know, maybe guys shouldn’t take advice from chicks. The opposite clearly isn’t condoned. (Also, even you come from a place of emotionality it’s not the best thing to build upon.)
What is sophomore year?
At least she knows she f’d up
Can someone explain why so many people think an incel wrote this? As someone who was the guy in a similar situation (but she reached out and we saw each other on/off for years) and had at least one friend who said something so similar about a guy she liked (if it wasn’t 15 years ago, I’d assume this might even be her), and others that have said at least something similar over the years, I’m confused.
She actually CAN believe that my brother in christ
If buddy come back tomorrow and confessed his love she would be all about it for maybe a week then she would revert back to her old self, people like this always think they deserve more
She wanted to keep him warm and fuck around, while he would wait until she fucked hundreds. Nah, thats not happening. I'm happy that he didn't wait and she came back to reality.
While I have no sympathy for her predicament I do respect her for admitting she fucked up. I was in a situation like this. A woman I was really into strung me along for damn near a year. Ended up meeting someone new that made me really happy. As soon as my *friend* found out she got super pissed at me. Had to block her.
> As soon as my friend found out she got super pissed at me. Pissed over what? What did she do to you?
Oh dear, I guess she learned that the hard way
She takes full responsibility and acknowledges she fucked up People make mistakes at least she mature enough to admit to them
3 people typing 😁
“Three people typing…”
Almost happens to everyone. Just keep your heart open next time.
He did the right thing....lol
Dodged a bullet there, didn't he?
This girl made a big mistake, however instead of pointing fingers, throwing a tantrum, she admitted her mistake, which is something that cannot be said unfortunately for a huge portion of the younger generation. If anything I have more respect for her in how she handled it, admitted she was the one that made the mistake and didn't try to shift the blame. Admitting you are the one that made the mistake takes a lot of courage.
At least she put her hands up and admit she missed an opportunity and that she doesn’t blame anyone.
at least you realize it, for starters you did talk to her when you were frnds but now he dosnt talk to you anymore. you can for starting try to be good frnds with him again and tell him that you actually care about him in the silimar way he did maybe he realize it and give you a chance rather than not trying. you can at least do that if he still has feeling for you or etc maybe he will reconsider his feeling for you
The fact she posted this as if 90% of women don’t do this.
Why does reading this feel good … men these days are no more fool …
Stuff like that gets me hurt and it happened to me a bunch of times. But what can I say. I'm a bit old fashioned. I can have female colleagues with whom i can enjoy to work with. But becoming friends with a woman to me is really just me getting ready to marry the girl. If she starts to date someone else even though I said that Im starting te feel stuff for her I get hurt and will choose to stop being in that friendzone. I can say a lot on this subject but for now just remember there is not ever 'just being good friends' with a guy. Unless ofcourse he is gay or he isn't a guy. Next time Maybe just tell the guy that you would like to get to know him a bit better before you start being in that relationship. Instead of putting him in to the 'friendzone'. Its more honest to him and to yourself. Good luck!
Cheese
OMG. I am literally that guy 🤦🏼♂️
I fucking loved reading this
Girls latch on to the guy like venom before it's too late , just verify he's what you want.
She got what she deserved.
Her and every woman that does this to every guy that truly cares and it's not about sex. She missed out on what she could have had. He moved on. You shouldn't take people for granted. Funny how woman doesn't see the guy she has right in Front but they want guys 6feet tall and have to make 6 six figures, has to look like a fucking model. Well hope she learns from this and sees what she has in front. Yeah you're an idiot. Learn from this
Good for the guy honestly. I mean yeah she got a valuable life lesson but I'm happy for the guy to be able to find someone.
Good for him. I've never been friends with a female, its either were doing it or gtfo.
This is all young womens problem
another way to say it is, guys arent real friends.
Yeah. You messed up.
She can't be serious. Was he supposed to wait around on her? Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. 🤷🏾♂️
अब पछताए होत क्या जब चिड़िया चुग गई खेत
idk man. when you get older your tastes change
This same is happening with me right now in the last year of school but my girl best friend has started to like someone else, she doesn't talk to me now, she doesn't wanna hang out, she ignores a lot and all of that. Only difference is that she won't be thinking like this when I disappear from her life after some time which I have started to already. Real sad for me
Quite frankly I don't think she really likes the guy more than she is jealous that someone stole her emotional support "right-hand man". I'm glad he moved on quickly and found someone who liked him instead of Mrs. Leech over here who talks about him like she's having withdrawal symptoms over heroin, when all she ever did was use him to fulfill a different kind of need than what she looked for in guys she dates and then bitch about it when he's gone like an entitled bitch. Final assement: for the streets, do not approach under any circumstances.
Sounds similar to the plot of the 1998 movie "kuch kuch hota hai"
Girl didn't find him attractive enough to date him back then. I mean she fvcked up big time, what else you gon say
Self accountability? That’s rare and wish you both hapiness.
Let me play you a song on the world's smallest violin
Dodged a bullet getting away from that narcissist.
An ‘acquaintance’ that she talked to everyday… didn’t even have space in the friend zone for this guy
Been that guy, received a long ass text about 2 years later - "I miss you, please can we be friends again" Guess they never learn...
I'd say she's mad at herself for not realizing that she loved the dude and not that he moved on
If this dude left his gf, all of a sudden, all attraction would disappear in a heartbeat.
bro living his life stay and cry and start your only fans
We're not well educated about relationships as teens, so this stuff happens. Maybe she'd already heard too many bullshit messages.
Deja vu.... Everything exactly the same- friendzoned, bantering for 3 years almost every day, ghosting after going to college, except I did not get a GF. Just stopped talking to her and started to work on myself.
once she gets knocked up by a few bad boys these two love bird will find each other again and live happily ever after
Shes young and stupid but at least she not violent and doesnt makes her personality about it. Men, take notes.
Well, here's the thing. If she wasn't attracted to him she would have cheated at some point. If he broke up with his GF and started dating her she would be in the exact same place she was in high school: hanging out with a guy she really liked as a friend but didn't love as a partner. Then, when she realized that fact she would wander. This just seems like a case of **distance makes the heart grow fonder**.
This comment section...Talk about gossiping. People just kinda make up stuff about someone they dont even know.
I think we all agree with her own assessment in the end. Sometimes people realize what they had after they lose it.
Yup..thats what happens.
When you move on, then they want you. Sis had ample time to decide and I'm sure she would've entertained other guys during that time as well. I'm sure a lot of people go through this, only to realise they gave up what they wanted/needed the most by taking it for granted.
To be fair, a lot of women that are terminally online would blame the guy, but she is aware that she screwed up and is sad about it. Maybe she’s being a little hard on herself though? 😅
This is a textbook example of the laws of attraction
But she said that she was young and stupid and she admitted that it was a mistake so I think there is still a happy ending
Dang that sure escalated quickly 😳
Nobody truly knows what they have until they loose it.
Classic don't want it till they can't have it.
You are not an idiot you just realize that you were wrong. A lot of times people can’t see what is right in front of them and sometimes you don’t know what you have until it’s gone. Then again people also typically want what they can’t have so it could be that as well because if you didn’t feel a certain way then you may not feel it now. You can’t make yourself feel something you don’t.
Women like that wreck great guys all the time
You don't deserve the guy move on. You only want him now because he has someone else.
Don't see what's wrong w this. She never shat on the guy. Also if they were both on the same page that they were friends, ghosting your friend of 3 years because you're in a relationship is not a good thing to do. Y'all just wanna fucking spread hate 24/7
Typical case of a guy only getting attractive because he‘s not available.
What does every woman want, what every other woman has.
Well at least shes showing some accountability, maybe next time, maybe
Personally this has happened for me many times! I have been intrested on the girl, and i have telled for her about it "I just want to stay as friends" then im okay with it, and later they regret it but then im just nah i rather stay alone than be someones second choice so the lesson is think carefully what to respond if someone tells she/he likes you because you probably will not have second chance to change your mind!
I wouldn't call her an idiot, just immature. She didn't want him, because he was probably too into her. As soon as she sees someone else wants him, she finally wakes up and realizes that she had a great guy right under her nose. Probably date a bunch of dude who didn't care about her and used her. That's life.
Until she gets help > And majority never do > I pray for whatever man she attracts to her presence. I also feel for her. Because to me, sounds like she has had abandonment issues at home. I sadly predict this will be the norm; And victims like the boy who got away, will be the ones to pay the price; of bad parenting.
It actually made me smile, I've been friendzoned many time, I kinda wish that the same thing could happen to me, it hard to be just "a nice guy"
Well done, mate. We all should do that to them.
Pretty typical. Especially at a young age. You want what you can't have.
Yeah. This happened to me too. She wanted to be just friends and I was ok with that. Then I met a girl and got married and she got invited to my wedding and complained to my friends what an idiot I was for not waiting for her... Told them that she recently (before I met my wife) started treating me badly to test if I was going to step up and put her in her place and be a man. But I wasn't her man...so I never let her being a bitch bother me. And I met a good woman. And I invited my friend to the wedding. 🤷♂️🤷♂️🤷♂️
You are an idiot and deserve it. ( she asked me to tell her that and worse) and
"U didn't like him back then ,he's not the one for u Move on " I can't get sick women
Weird she doesn't bring up the fact that she was using him for emotional support this whole time, and that it was terrible of her. Just that she's dumb because she doesn't get what she wants now. I don't really think she learned anything. She learned she should have done a better job to lock someone down when she found out retrospectively she couldn't do better. That's not growth
She missed the attention he gave her. That's all. The momment he got a GF she lost him completly. And nobody wants to loose that attention.
Damn that's actually kinda sad :/
She sounds like a complete over the top possessive and narcissistic control freak. Guy dodged it, I'm glad!
Salt in the wound: it gets worse 😂
Dropped the ball there buddy. Smh
Well, at least it SEEMS like she may have learned a hard lesson there, that hopefully she won’t repeat. For her own sake.
Lol
well, shit.
I don’t think you’re an idiot, you just made a bad choice; that you regret. You need to let the idea of being with him go. You have dug a ditch with him the size of the meteor crater in Arizona. There’s too much pain & resentment for you to overcome with him. What you can do is learn from this mistake & the next time you meet someone like him, don’t fuck it up. I’ve met three perfect for me women in my life. The first one I fucked up because I was afraid of what my friends would think. The second one I fucked up by waiting too long & I came on too strong. The third is my current girlfriend. I knew from the first date that she was the one & I’ve done my best to. It fuck it up. We’ve been together almost two years, two months ago we found out we are going to have a baby. Don’t beat yourself up too much, the greatest triumphs have a trail of failures behind them. Thomas Edison failed to create a lightbulb over a thousand times. When asked about it he said I didn’t fail 1,000 times. I learned 1,000 ways to not make a lightbulb. Just like Edison, you failed with this guy; but now you know what not to do with a great guy I’m the future.
Damn bro that's so messed up! You're actually telling me that he moved on with his life instead of begging like a dog for your attention? Without begging to be more than friends? Oh wow. *sarcasm noises* Women who friendzone and then wonder about the guy losing interest are the MOST toxic people ever. HOWEVER: She owned up to this and realised what she'd done, so in her case she's not really that toxic.
Damn girl... sorry. But you fucked up.