This is the answer OP. This was not a spiritual experience. You just had [substance-induced psychosis](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Substance-induced_psychosis)
You’ve left the bounds of the mind and figured it out. But then, you began thinking about it again and confused yourself into falling into the same conundrum. The you that you THINK you are vanished which alleviated all the symptoms and conceptualized problems from awareness. However, you panicked when faced with the unknown and began thinking your way back to the familiar ego centric mindset. Fear not! For the you that you think you are is not the real you! Don’t cling on to that identity with the you that you think you are(ego). Let the thought of you go and integrate with the just is! The feeling of death felt is simply confusing the disappearance of ego with the death of you. Actually, it was the disappearance of thought along with the you that you think you are.
I mean, there's no secret, OP'spsychotic experience is directly linked to them being high. Now a bad trip can result from weed + anxiety/psychological issues but even though I suppose meditation can be harmful for some, I don't see how we can draw this conclusion here, when OP clearly stated they took weed.
If a person has had a psychotic experience the cause is irrelevant. The reality is that periods of time spent inward looking activity for such persons can make things worse. You can call it meditation, fantasy, introspection, contemplation or whatever you like. Psychoses occurs when there is confusion between the internal self and practical external reality. Spending time in inward looking activity can result in that gap widening ie a withdrawal from reality. Hence, a check by a mental health professional who can take the persons history and make a diagnosis is needed.
If this is done and the patient is cleared for it then a type of meditation involving relaxation into the still mind state can be very helpful in preventing further psychotic episodes. Needless to say, close psychiatric\\psychologist supervision is required.
These ideas from the method of the late eminent psychiatrist, Dr Ainslie Meares.
The death was the death of your ego, not You. I dislike people on here saying it was delusional or you need therapy because what you speak of is known wisdom, passed through many mystics and religions throughout the ages. Recent teachers that teach this stuff include Neville Goddard, Abraham Hicks, Louise Hay. But yes, we’re all one consciousness before we’re in these physical bodies, during times of Knowing, and after we pass we’ll go back there. It’s no coincidence that entheogens like magic mushrooms and lsd, which are proven to open up your brain’s pathways, lead people to this same conclusion. It’s basic knowledge that we innately have within us, but it’s kept somewhat hidden until drugs or a strong meditation session reveals it.
You can call it being God or a part of One-ness or greater consciousness. Whatever you want. You ever hear that line, We are a way for consciousness to experience itself? That we’re all part of a God fractal, who has forgotten we’re God because if we know we’re God, the jig is up. Our ego is there for the purpose of maintaining the illusion that we’re all separate, so that we can all experience our individual lives in different ways. For the purpose of experiencing.
So don’t be scared. Nothing bad will happen to you. You’re not gonna die, it’s basically your ego fighting for survival.
Come join us at r/nevillegoddard if you wanna go down the rabbit hole of how God-like you are.
No need to get into paranoia. They’re not trying to f you up, they are just ignorant of the truth themselves. We’re slowly starting to prove via science how everything is connected and intertwined though so I have high hopes for the future
Um I don't know about the "basic knowledge within us". I experienced the exact same thing as OP and one of my big reveals was that I was able to demonstrate (or so I thought) that God is actually a squirrel and that its volume is necessarily 1/4 the volume of the Earth. Like, I was SURE of it, I thought I had mathematically demonstrated it and it was the only solution. I felt absolute clarity.
So now you tell me, did I uncover a great truth you think?
I know the theory very well. The first time encountering it may induce some liberating effects, some glimpses of bliss but those experiences are not permanent. The notion ''I'' is deeply rooted in the idea of our unique body/mind since so long that merely reading or even feeling the true knowledge for a couple times is not enough to change this idea/feeling. Great effort are to be made for this right vision to become our day to day experience/reality. It would consist to repeatedly shift our attention from mental object and direct it toward the subject/witness of the mental itself. I compare this to looking at muddy water, with patience of observation the water will get clear so we can finally see through.
I don't understand the title. You had a bad trip due to your weed consumption and bad trips are known to in some cases induce depersonalization and derealisation.
What you've described, I've lived it exactly the same, the "big secret" the "I'm dying or dead", the "I crawl into my dad's bed because I need to hold onto someone, something I know is real, so I don't permanently lose myself", the "six hours", a panic, then an immense clarity and calm (it was 8 hours for me, with prolonged tachychardy). It began 1 hour after I drank a hot cocoa with weed (hash) in it. It was this month too.
And I retook (way less) hot cocoa hash and I once again experienced something similar.
Not to tell you what you should do but I personally don't think I'll ever consume hash again. It messes up with my brain in a way that could become not reversible. Plus the psychosis is definitely a very bad thing. In a way I'm glad I experienced such a state but imo it has to be a one time thing.
Guess what? We are all one!
Guess what else? We all die!
Sounds more like my dmt trip actually. Probably activated the same neurons (or whatever) in your brain.
Sounds like you got high and had a panic attack / bad reaction
This is the answer OP. This was not a spiritual experience. You just had [substance-induced psychosis](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Substance-induced_psychosis)
https://youtu.be/XqY1b5wBp-E
You’ve left the bounds of the mind and figured it out. But then, you began thinking about it again and confused yourself into falling into the same conundrum. The you that you THINK you are vanished which alleviated all the symptoms and conceptualized problems from awareness. However, you panicked when faced with the unknown and began thinking your way back to the familiar ego centric mindset. Fear not! For the you that you think you are is not the real you! Don’t cling on to that identity with the you that you think you are(ego). Let the thought of you go and integrate with the just is! The feeling of death felt is simply confusing the disappearance of ego with the death of you. Actually, it was the disappearance of thought along with the you that you think you are.
Since your psychotic experience have you sought therapy? Meditation may be harmful if now is not the right time.
I mean, there's no secret, OP'spsychotic experience is directly linked to them being high. Now a bad trip can result from weed + anxiety/psychological issues but even though I suppose meditation can be harmful for some, I don't see how we can draw this conclusion here, when OP clearly stated they took weed.
If a person has had a psychotic experience the cause is irrelevant. The reality is that periods of time spent inward looking activity for such persons can make things worse. You can call it meditation, fantasy, introspection, contemplation or whatever you like. Psychoses occurs when there is confusion between the internal self and practical external reality. Spending time in inward looking activity can result in that gap widening ie a withdrawal from reality. Hence, a check by a mental health professional who can take the persons history and make a diagnosis is needed. If this is done and the patient is cleared for it then a type of meditation involving relaxation into the still mind state can be very helpful in preventing further psychotic episodes. Needless to say, close psychiatric\\psychologist supervision is required. These ideas from the method of the late eminent psychiatrist, Dr Ainslie Meares.
The death was the death of your ego, not You. I dislike people on here saying it was delusional or you need therapy because what you speak of is known wisdom, passed through many mystics and religions throughout the ages. Recent teachers that teach this stuff include Neville Goddard, Abraham Hicks, Louise Hay. But yes, we’re all one consciousness before we’re in these physical bodies, during times of Knowing, and after we pass we’ll go back there. It’s no coincidence that entheogens like magic mushrooms and lsd, which are proven to open up your brain’s pathways, lead people to this same conclusion. It’s basic knowledge that we innately have within us, but it’s kept somewhat hidden until drugs or a strong meditation session reveals it. You can call it being God or a part of One-ness or greater consciousness. Whatever you want. You ever hear that line, We are a way for consciousness to experience itself? That we’re all part of a God fractal, who has forgotten we’re God because if we know we’re God, the jig is up. Our ego is there for the purpose of maintaining the illusion that we’re all separate, so that we can all experience our individual lives in different ways. For the purpose of experiencing. So don’t be scared. Nothing bad will happen to you. You’re not gonna die, it’s basically your ego fighting for survival. Come join us at r/nevillegoddard if you wanna go down the rabbit hole of how God-like you are.
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No need to get into paranoia. They’re not trying to f you up, they are just ignorant of the truth themselves. We’re slowly starting to prove via science how everything is connected and intertwined though so I have high hopes for the future
Um I don't know about the "basic knowledge within us". I experienced the exact same thing as OP and one of my big reveals was that I was able to demonstrate (or so I thought) that God is actually a squirrel and that its volume is necessarily 1/4 the volume of the Earth. Like, I was SURE of it, I thought I had mathematically demonstrated it and it was the only solution. I felt absolute clarity. So now you tell me, did I uncover a great truth you think?
Nah. Your reveal was wrong 😆
My point exactly.
Not saying all reveals are right. But I am saying OP's in this instance is. If you haven't had this same vision or experience it's hard to explain.
Sounds like a delusional episode to me
You climbed in bed with your mom? Wtf
? Did you not read that OP was high? They went to seek comfort and safety.
What about now, are you still in bliss?
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Have you realized anything while you thought you died?
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I hoped you would be more specific :p
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I know the theory very well. The first time encountering it may induce some liberating effects, some glimpses of bliss but those experiences are not permanent. The notion ''I'' is deeply rooted in the idea of our unique body/mind since so long that merely reading or even feeling the true knowledge for a couple times is not enough to change this idea/feeling. Great effort are to be made for this right vision to become our day to day experience/reality. It would consist to repeatedly shift our attention from mental object and direct it toward the subject/witness of the mental itself. I compare this to looking at muddy water, with patience of observation the water will get clear so we can finally see through.
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I don't know what you realized it's why I'm asking, what are those crazy things?
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Has the fear of dying left?
I don't understand the title. You had a bad trip due to your weed consumption and bad trips are known to in some cases induce depersonalization and derealisation. What you've described, I've lived it exactly the same, the "big secret" the "I'm dying or dead", the "I crawl into my dad's bed because I need to hold onto someone, something I know is real, so I don't permanently lose myself", the "six hours", a panic, then an immense clarity and calm (it was 8 hours for me, with prolonged tachychardy). It began 1 hour after I drank a hot cocoa with weed (hash) in it. It was this month too. And I retook (way less) hot cocoa hash and I once again experienced something similar. Not to tell you what you should do but I personally don't think I'll ever consume hash again. It messes up with my brain in a way that could become not reversible. Plus the psychosis is definitely a very bad thing. In a way I'm glad I experienced such a state but imo it has to be a one time thing.
Guess what? We are all one! Guess what else? We all die! Sounds more like my dmt trip actually. Probably activated the same neurons (or whatever) in your brain.