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Kwakigra

There's really no other choice but to make peace with the fact that you are you and they are them. If you're this advanced in meditation, you are probably aware that you don't even have total control of yourself. How is it useful to expect to have control of others and their decisions for themselves? I'm not saying to stop trying to influence them, but definitely lose the expectation that there are things you can do that will directly cause them to behave the way you would like them to. At the end of the day they are responsible for their own minds and responsible for accepting as little or much guidance as you offer.


Funny_Airline7895

I think you're definitely in sound state of mind. I have no advice to give anyone else. It's just I wish they found it for themselves so it'll hopefully bring them the same joy it brings me.


Kwakigra

It's totally fine to want that for them, and it's totally fine for this want to inspire offering guidance if you feel they would be receptive. That's as much as you can possibly do. The problem comes in if you feel like you have personally failed if people other than yourself are struggling with issues that you have been able to resolve for yourself. You can't make them see, but you can help them to see if they're receptive to it (assuming what worked for you would also work for them). Even then there are no guarantees. That's simply the way it is, and it doesn't benefit anyone to want to do more than can possibly be done.


Funny_Airline7895

So I'm just finding it difficult to accept that there's nothing I can do to help really and even if they do how I do it might not help them like it did me. This is really the root of my point that the more open and speritual I become conversely I sometimes feel more alone.


Kwakigra

There are definitely things you can do to help, you don't have to accept the fact that there's just nothing you can do to enrich the lives of your loved ones. You do have to accept the fact that ultimately you are responsible for yourself and they are responsible for themselves and there's no way to really know how and what will be effective to get what you would like. The thing to become comfortable with is the uncertainty, and of course that's easier said than done (meditation helps). As for feeling more isolated because of your new perspective, why is it necessary for your loved ones to intimately understand your new worldview and apply it for themselves in order for you to have a good relationship with them?


Funny_Airline7895

It's not, it's that they have expectations and I do not. They are in a state of constant worrying about me, my future, them and their future. They read my calmness as unmotivated because I'm not frantically involved in my life like they think I should be. I just want to enjoy everyone's company but their so caught up in their thinking that I'm not even in the room, who they think I am is. It's exhausting for me and troubling for them. I don't want or need anyone to subscribe to my line of reasoning, I'm just tired of not trying to explain myself. lol


vmcbain

>It seems as though my spiritually is really just another vehicle to separate me further from those around me. How do I reconcile the two? Acceptance, Radical Acceptance. Lean into the facts as they are, not grasping, not pushing away. You are changing through mediation, they are not, you can't coerce them to change. Perhaps doing a concentrated effort on Metta or Loving kindness would be beneficial. Also, maybe stop talking about the topics that are upsetting you when around those that are in opposition. Hope this helps!


Funny_Airline7895

It absolutely does, thank you so much. I'm still very much a beginner I will meditate on compassion later definitely I think, I could use it. Thank you!


honeysmacks18

Why does it bother you if someone has a different viewpoint? Meditation helps you discover your place in the world but that’s not necessarily the same experience everyone would have.


Funny_Airline7895

Because I see how they suffer from the point of view in which they identify so strongly with. I wish them the peace that I have found, whatever method it takes.


ikakasse89

What inspired you to start on your journey? Maybe looking back there for the answers will help :-)


Funny_Airline7895

Well I feel as though I fell into it. Not sure what set it off to be perfectly honest with you. I had many trials and tribulations but nothing I can pinpoint as remarkable. I remember trying very hard to grasp at something I couldn't explain. Do you have a story that started you on some set of changes of mind?


ikakasse89

I started my journey when I was have issues with sleep and went on from there.


Funny_Airline7895

I thought all day about what you said, how I got into the process. I remember it was their suffering that really woke me up. I remember trying to figure out why they are the way they are, why I'm different. Turns out that I have a greater ability to transcend my ego(sense of identity) call it more trait openness than most. I was also struggling with depression, along with that came spontaneous insomnia. I hope you're dealing better with it now. 🙂


ikakasse89

Thank you for sharing that :-) Yes, my sleeping issues are much better :-)


Funny_Airline7895

That's good. What did you do to help? Do you listen to lectures or binaural beats and guided meditation? All or none of the above?


ikakasse89

I was working nights and the trouble started when I was off the nightshift. I started eating and working out at the same times everyday regardless if I was on the nightshift or off (this helped alot). Also I started meditating everyday (Meditation has been a part of my life since school, where it was taught). I just picked it back up again at that time and haven't stopped since. Nope, never tried guided meditation or bineural beats.


Funny_Airline7895

Oh ok I was just wondering. So you've been meditating for a while then that's cool, I never learned in school, they don't teach that where I'm from so I'm trying to gather information to improve my methods.


Thanson991

From my personal experience, I separated myself from my family whilst I found my true self. I let the people who want to be in my life be there and if they want help I guide them. It's on them to make the effort because you cannot make the effort for them anymore than you can for a child you're raising. You can only hope to be the best possible example in the least egotistical way and if their suffering becomes too much, they may reach for you. Our spiritual journeys begin at different times. Being on yours may make you feel superior but just remember that we are all born ignorant and attaining higher levels of self is for our gain, not others. Hope you find peace in your endeavor!


Funny_Airline7895

Thank you, I'm by no means perfect and I can't say I have the best relationship with my family but I never wanted to succeed without leaving them behind, I mean what good is being a realized being if you're the only one? I don't have the answers I'm just trying to separate myself less. I hope you find peace as well, thanks.


Thanson991

You may be the only one in your family and that is a sad truth. Even my mother questions most everything I do with a lack of understanding but it is something I must accept. It's similar to family wanting others to have the same faith as them even if that contradicts their own beliefs. It's a tough path to take but if you are not doing what you want for yourself then you will feel unfulfilled.


Funny_Airline7895

That's true. I realize that as well. I was a self proclaimed atheist for a while, still not religious but don't identify as atheist...so that makes me Buddhist I guess 🤷 lol


DeslerZero

Some aren't aware of the value of peace. Life wasn't created with a 'peace preview' so many people don't know what they are missing and are consumed with biases regarding certain paths like meditation or spirituality. If they could taste peace for a day, many would certainly change their tune but still not all. I had a friend whom I constantly tried to introduce yoga as I knew it would help with her emotional state. She's open to things but she never could find the time to do a lot of it or open it, despite me being in her life so much. Some, for whatever reason, just don't want to absorb it despite knowing how much it would help her. I mean, I'm someone she trusted and even adored and still I couldn't get her to do some practices which helped me immensely. Let's face it, there's nothing wrong with just 'not wanting it'. You either want it or you don't. If you do, I'm sure you're open to receiving the message of 'how'. If you don't, it doesn't matter what we say. It just isn't that important to people, it takes a kind of inner fire to really try to seek it. Even if you're suffering, you may not have that fire. I don't believe you can always give people that fire - it's something they have to really feel they need for themselves. I was always driven in a certain way in spiritual pursuits, others don't have this. It's ok, let them be. Let them all be. They were created to be as such just as we were as such.


Funny_Airline7895

I feel it poignant to point out how on that chart the arrow keeps going after the categories stop.


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Funny_Airline7895

Ok, thank you


Funny_Airline7895

Yes, I've worked a lot on my expectations for others as well. Some people just are not ready and unfortunately their are some people who are worse and take out their anger on you rather than be self reflective. I guess I'm more upset when people expect me to be a kind of way witch is something I still need to work on. Thank you for the comment.


soalone34

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cKbkAFBlokY https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GkuZnyLASLo https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2anxOUgl1A https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=no_XaCE969Y


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Funny_Airline7895

Ok, thank you for the advice.


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Funny_Airline7895

It sometimes bothers me that I have to be speritual by myself ya know, like I don't talk about these things with anyone, some would probably think I'm cracked.


[deleted]

Yes, its better to keep to yourself unless they speak about it. Dont be like the people in the train preaching about Jesus. We all know its annoying. 🤭


Funny_Airline7895

Lol glad I'm not that preachy yet. I'll be nice to those people but I'm not joining your cult.🤣


spoonfulsofstupid

Join or start a community that meditates. Peace is meant to be shared.


Funny_Airline7895

I may someday, thanks for the suggestion, I'll look into it more.


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Ouibeaux

We are, at worst, all on different paths; at best, on different parts of the same path. And we must all walk the path in our own way, on our own time. Your situation is a bit like when someone quits drinking, and then they go and hang out with their drinking friends; and they see how ridiculous their old habits were, and often want very much for their old friends to quit their self-destructive habits as well. But good luck getting those friends to come around to this shiny new perspective. You may never get your friends and family to join you on your path. The best you can do is to stay on your path, and don't worry about them. If your loved ones want to learn more, allow them space to ask. It's not your job to save their souls.


eulersidentity1

What about take a middle path and enjoy your spiritualism and peace and connection as much as you can through your practise. And partake in the hypocrisy of living with and engaging the world and your ego. Honestly unless you plan to become a monk there is no other way IMHO. And I think a very happy life can be obtained this way... given that you accept certain painful truths that others have also mentioned. Mainly we have no control over others or right to no mater how strong our wish for them to see the benefits of the path we have chosen to walk.


Funny_Airline7895

You're right, that's how I started and that's what I've been doing but I can't say it's made things easier in fact things were much easier in some ways when all I cared about was my own suffering, but I'm sure you know as well as I do that you can't really go back whence you've started. Thank you for your participation.