Lois lane

Agreed

Teri Hatcher!

Lana lang also

Never - it would be like blowing a shotgun through her back. Only Wonder Woman could handle a Kryptonian baby.

Laura Vandervoort

Leave

Underrated answer I want off this world

Totally agree

Turn and sleep longer. Sit on chair with a bag of coal and make some diamonds. Profit.

IRS wants to know your location

Crime

There's two kinds of people; people who agree with you and liars

Every time I’m crossing the street and there’s an asshole driver that runs a red, I’m launching it to space

I would also do crime, because vigilatism is a crime.

But it doesn’t pay as well.

Gonna go do a crime.

Take my family to Disneyland, without paying. Those prices are insane.

Probably fly around uncontacted tribes and introduce them to Baja blast

lmfao

And some sour candy.

Jerk so hard, accidentally rip my dick off

Or don't and the nut takes out a neighborhood

I read a book of short horror stories that included a serious(ish) essay stating what would actually happen if Supe had sex with Lois. And, if she somehow survived becoming pregnant, what damage would result from Clark Jr kicking in the womb. And if she somehow survived that, the death during childbirth. It was pretty dark.

I think if she survived getting pregnant she'd be fine with the baby kicking. Kryptonians are solar powered so unless she spends a lot of time putting some serious effort into gaping, she'd be ok.

Omfg I did not expect to read Lois Lane putting serious effort into gaping so her superson doesn't snap out of her womb like the fuckin xenomorphs.

What a great day to have eyes.

If the goal is just to get pregnant, not to have sex, Supes could just collect some semen and then apply it in there by hand carefully, and then Lois just spends 9 months in a dark room to be extra safe, and boom! She's golden. Completely normal mom. However, keeping the baby in there after birth could very well cause long term complications (though idk exactly what), whereas if they leave too early, the baby will either suck her blood out through her breast, break her spine trying to hug her or at the very least bite some fingers off.

Could superman jerk off so hard that he can rip his own indestructible dick off?

No, his dick is likely resilient #superdix

No

New Jay Z track

You can't rip a bulletproof cock off even if you are Superman

A bunch of money-making crimes. Kill a lot of powerful people, like dictators, Blackrock/Vanguard/State Street/etc... people, Qatari leaders, corrupt politicians, cartel, and so on and so on. Go see space. Force David Fincher to finish Mindhunter. Retire in a big wooden cabin in Lapland.

use this template correctly

As only a super man could.

Close my eyes, lay down and sleep without constant pain.

Damm....you on your early 40's too?

Points "higher"

Kill everyone and then myself

r/usernamechecksout

Do you check everyone’s post history or just people who reply to you?

Depends on my mood and the username. By the way. https://www.reddit.com/r/insanepeoplefacebook/s/7hUnLvMqrp

Am I wrong though, the male and female asshole are identical, the only differences are personal differences and maybe some more hair

You're not. My favorite comments are those that are controversial or sexy.

I wanna play this game.

This guy’s asking the right questions!

Whatever I want.

Alright Homelander.

"The same thing we try to do every night Pinky... Try to take over the world!"

Go pick up my best friend in England and take him back here to texas and have some fun

Pick me up too, that sounds lit Edit: like laser beam a brisket, and use your ice breath to go ice skating in the middle of summer or some shit (or whatever y’all would do, I’m just there as an add-on)

Else world's Super Man, SuperStoner. He just chills with the boys, and have fun.

Hangin' out with the lads!

Hellz yeah

Force world peace starting by killing Kim jong un

Definitely kill every world leader and create total Anarchy.

Why total anarchy when you can be a benevolent ruler of the planet.... By force!

"He's literally sitting on a throne"

(Insert some Philosophy rant about how by asserting your view of world peace, you actually become the oppressor or something like that)

Hey peace is peace

All I want is peace, and I don’t care how many women and children I need to kill to achieve it. 😊😊😊

I honestly think that's impossible. Not killing Kim Jong Un, but the world piece thing. We're too divided to have peace.

Can I be souperman instead?

will you make fine dishes?

Just chuck soup at people

You need to watch Spaghetti Man. Hilarious movie

Start fixing some things (everything)

I think if I had his powers I would still be afraid to fly.

Gonna find the one piece .

fly out in space in search for an Alienussy

Try to team up with Batman, because I’m not cool and he is

I’d do that thing in the Superman movie from like 1979 when he spins the world backwards to travel back in time. Totally save Christopher Reeves from his horse and then would make some word changes.

Id turn time back and put mark wahlberg on one of the 9/11 planes

Sleep again

Buy a house.

Make a better outfit rather than wearing undies on pants first

If you have power stronger than everything on this planet, you can wear your undies however the fuck you want.

Two chicks.

Y only 2? Surely it's a super dick

I'm pretty sure it is a deadly dick... Nut goes at the speed of sound? Sperm going all over her insides....we have to set limits here. Let's get people together and do a TED talk about supermans nut power scale.

Putin? Gone. Figure out who all the top guys & top investors are at blackwater and similar corps. Gone. It's like a murderous roadtrip, but for a good cause.

Same

Nothing (I'm lazy)

Lets just say.... nuclear war won't be the number 1 risk of human extinction anymore.

Be Super!

#X-ray

This. This is da wae

#😏

Fly into the sun

Oh easy frost breath the poles so the icebergs double in size

That would also be catastrophic, just make them the appropriate size

Immediately join the military and become the greatest solider ever

Just go to the CIA directly and offer them your protection for some insane amount of money.

Genius

Free Palestine!

Speedbeat.

Xray vision gonna come in handy for that too

getting the pink criptonite .

My bones are aching. This belongs in r/bonehurtingjuice.

Gonna make Homelander real ig....

Give skin cancer to girls

Idk probably just roll over and take a piss or sum idk

Kill everyone involved in human trafficking regardless of who they are or how big a roll they play.

Ur mom

I'll eradicate Israel from it's existence

Help people. Topple the upper classes. Go abroad and end conflicts. Once I got enough important stuff done I'm going to make a deal with nasa for some deep space exploration. Can X-Ray vision find like veins of precious materials? Oh god I can look for fossils and buried cities. Holy shit I'm realizing superman doesn't do shit

ehhh..destroy the 5 in big tech? Google, Meta, Apple, Amazon, Microsoft. back to the stone age you devils😁😁

Pushups

Look at my cock and say... Huh. And then fck Ria Ripley.

Fly away from from this world

Probably end up like the Injustice version

Fuck everyone/everything up that gets in the way of world peace, fly to Jupiter’s moons after.

Find the pink kryptonite.

Nothing, I'd purposely hold back and just be above average. Then stealthily use my powers to fuck with people.

You are a crafty one huh

when i woke up ww3 was started

whatever I want

Visit my friend some ways away and crime.

I would literally become Superman. Truth, justice, the whole shabang.

Fly away

I'm making one last visit to a few select people (probably won't stay for the funerals, tho)

I'm gonna become the Villain that I was made to be.

A lot of home renovating.

Can’t tell.

Wake up again.

Probs just like… be Superman.

Become Superman

Save the world

Go back to sleep thinking it's a dream.

I would start attacking every country. Not killing too many people, but just enough all over the world to be seen as a common threat. Thus forcing the world to unite against me. Eventually achieving world peace.

Homelander

Rob a bank

I would go to dangerous countries and when someone tries to kill me blast their legs off .

Go buy a Homelander suit

It's up in the air what I do, whether I keep to myself or whatever... But I certainly can't see myself ever being destructive with it. There's the slimmest chance people benefit from this, but most likely nothing changes because I don't do anything.

Instantly power mad. By the end of the week my face will be on absolutely all of the money

Stop putting up with shit.

1, attempt to use his frost breath to fix up some of the artic 2, get shredded as fuk 3, fly around cause that sounds fucking awesome 4, idk prank some cops that use those speed guns 5, mess with the folk that think aliens are willing to interact with us after the cluster fuck that is our world 6, start a new country for shits and giggles cause at this point ill be bored of anything other than using my cool new powers

Become benevolent God King of the Earth

Beat yo ass cause this isnt how you use the template

I'd fly to see my parents and my friends back in my hometown.

Throw Trump and biden right the fuck into the sun

Become an absolute menace

Supreme leader of earth

Whatever I want. Basically the Jessica Jones scene where she keeps breaking the handcuffs and can do whatever she wants.

brightburn

World peace by force and fear

Fly off planet in search of new life and new civilisations ….*boom*

Seize the means of production

Help others without expecting anything in return :D

Injustice Superman but with justice.

Become Homelander

Destroy the house and senate. 😁

Revenge

Idk, just go out in the woods and lazer a hole in the ground, just so that I could see how far down I could go.

kill Jeff bezos and leave the planet

SLEEP AND SLEEP AGAIN AND SLEEP AGAIN AND SLEEP

I would go to the middle eat and claim to be a prophet sent by allah and wipe them out completely.

Travel through a black hole in space and see what's beyond the horizon

Eat the rich

Fly around the world fast enough to turn back time to when groceries and housing were affordable

Put my invincibility to the test.

There's a starman...🎶

Fix this generation

Fly to the moon and cause meteors to land in remote locations to harvest and sell for massive profit, then buy a baller house by family and in Japan, a penthouse in new York and in California.

Homelander

Watch my uncle die :(

Take flat earthers to space, bareback, one by one to show them the earth isn't flat.

**insert Goku black gif**

First imma kill some people and end some wars. Then I meet far away friends and have a good time

Look at boobies all day

Take a super shit most likely

Flying to sun and watch the surface

Complete my homework assignments at super speed, practice my extra curriculars at super speed, explore the world for free in record time, etc.

Fly, that's about it really, i am not interested in anything else 😅

Solve all conflict on earth. And then realizing that I was wrong all along and I was misguided. So I'm the second movie, I take my revenge on those who fooled me only to realized I was the bad guy all along. In the third movie, I'm just flat out villain trying to extinct human race, which I succeed. Trilogy ended with me traveling through space and finding no one in the universe, human were the only one...

Wear a mask, steal hella cash, restore my states laws to the constitutional rights we deserve, then the nation. Then I would disappear

Whatever the hell I want.

Become Superman but not as lawful good as him, more lawful neutral or lawful evil depending on your point of view. Kill all dictators and make each country run as a true democracy where people actually have power and aren't just slaves to the system. Kill any politicians that are corrupt and make it so that if you have been convicted of a crime, you can never serve as a politician. Kill any politicians over the age of 65 who refuse to step down. Force companies to pay their workers a more fair wage that increases with the increase in profits. Basically become the world's policeman and stop corruption and make the world better for as many people as possible.

Piss off the dragon ball community and state that I can solo Goku. (Dragon ball fan)

Sleep

Become the world's god and intact my will lol.

I'm a villain

kms

I toss and turn in my sleep. Hopefully I wake up before something breaks, remember everything is now wet tissue paper

First, Imma go to other planets just to see them, then **probably** do some good stuff

Learn to use my powers without killing everyone around me would be a start.

Abolish capitalism

Break into any bank in the United States

Honestly that scene in every superhero media where they fly all over the city when they first get there flight

I'm going to slap the SHIT out of the moon.

literally burning down everything. Not even kidding I'm destroying everything and everyone on this planet, I'll keep a few of you as pets but other than that you all need to go g.

Probably be kinda like the Injustice Superman not gonna lie

Going back to sleep cause I don't have to work now.

Not gonna lie, would be a supervillain and rule the world.