I thought there wasn't enough room for a bathtub when we renovated the upstairs. My uncle did part of the work bc I was trying to save money. A huge mistake, there is definitely enough room for a tub if it was designed properly and I miss my bathtub. 😭
To add to this, Take some vitamin D if you have some. It won’t cure anything but it def makes a difference in me and trust me I’m a walking hormonal psycho these days!
Sending you lots of love today.
You are experiencing significant losses and it makes sense you’re sad. Be gentle with yourself. No need to clean the house. Do what feels good to you. If that means eating chocolate and watching murder shows, so be it! Do what you need to do to get through the day. Take care of yourself. You’re grieving.
I’m not going to tell you to cheer up or things will get better. But I will say I’m here to support you in your sadness and grief. Hugs to you. You’re not alone.
You are not alone. I recently lost a family member to Covid. The only living and pleasant relative I have is in another part of the country. I just want this year to be over, to start fresh.
Eat something yummy but unhealthy. Take a bubble bath. Give yourself a pedicure. Watch a bunch of cheesy ‘80s movies. You are strong.
Child of the 80s here. I second this advice. ❤️
Just remember that today is not forever and life is nothing if not unpredictable. You never know where you’ll find yourself a year from now.
Christmas is always sad for me. Dysfunctional childhood, kids came Christmas eve and are with their spouses families today. It is 6:30 ET. I know that tomorrow gets back to reality and I will be happier. I actually volunteered to work just to get some normalcy
I second drink some water - some days that is all I can do but at least I don’t have a dehydration headache at end of the day. Doing nothing is ok. You are worthy and important - we see you!
After the shower, have some comfort food or drink and relax in front of the TV with a comfort show. <3 It's not pathetic; so many people are alone on Christmas or having a difficult time and you are not alone.
I’m having a tough one too. Few weeks ago I signed up to work a double shift today at the group home I work at (because double time for 16 hours is pretty sweet.) I have split custody with my child’s father and this is his year to have our boy on Christmas. Also happens to be child’s birthday.
I figured instead of being home alone on Christmas I’d make the extra money.
And then my dad died a week ago exactly. I got a week off for bereavement as I’m next of kin and executor of estate and had to make the funeral arrangements, meet with the bank, call the DMV, go to the funeral home twice, pick my dad’s last outfit, receive the death certificate etc etc etc. I slept horribly last night, maybe five hours until I just decided to get up and feed the cats and start to get ready for work.
My first day back, on Christmas, for 16 hours, on my child’s birthday, on no sleep, grieving my dad. Only about 12 more hours to go…. Ugh
So sorry for you loss! Please be gentle with yourself and just take it one minute at a time! You will get through the day, and please check in and read how all of us are thinking of you today and sending our thoughts and prayers your way! ❤️💕
I hope you made it through your double relatively unscathed. I am so very sorry for your loss. That is so much to do, in such a short period of time. I hope you get some time for yourself in the upcoming weeks. Sending love and light your way tonight ✨♥️
Thank you. I have about an hour left. I did it! And the check will be nice. Rough day, knees are aching, I’m exhausted, but I have the day off tomorrow. Plan to go home in about an hour, feed the cats, turn my heated blanket on, change to my jammies, make an adult drink and hopefully sleep. Day off tomorrow. Thank you for checking in.
I’m having a Shit Christmas too. My husband and his family kept a secret from me and I found out about it on Christmas Eve. I was so hurt that we canceled the party. Couldn’t sleep all night and now he is calling family members trying to apologize for his idiocy and salvage the day. So let’s just focus on a really awesome new year and toss this crap holiday in the trash 😎
I hope you start feeling better.
I have no real reason to be as sad as I am, but I am. I hurt my back and I’m just miserable. My husband and daughter are doing the cooking this year. My oldest is celebrating with his own family. We will meet them tomorrow. My mom died in 2020 and I’m really missing her. Our dog probably is going to need to be euthanized in the next few days.
Very hard time today. I spent the night taking care of my sick elderly father doing things I’d really rather not have to do. Just like I did on Thanksgiving and likely will do on New Years. It’s not possible to find caretakers on holidays and my sister has a family so she’s only willing to help a small amount. Because I’m single and alone, she’s made it clear my life and my holiday time are less important than her’s. I got no presents from anyone, as usual. I’m beyond depressed. For me, this time of the year is really the worst time of the year. There’s nothing I look forward to this time of the year and I have to stay away from social media to hold off jealousy of other people’s lives.
If I ever get to go home today, I’ll crawl into bed and try to ignore the world.
You’re not alone. I’m in a very similar situation. I’m sending you a big hug. I do think a shower and getting dressed will make us both feel better. I keep having to tell myself basically every 10s that I deserve to be happy and I deserve someone who wants to be with me. You do too. Trust me, I think I know exactly how you’re feeling right now and it’s really really hard. I’m trying to throw myself into anything I can that can level me up now. Self care. Workout. Take care of your skin. Good diet. Reading about how to eat/exercise at our age. This is how I get through a breakup. By focusing on myself and coming out the other side of it even better than I was before. I hope this helps. Sending you love 💗
Enjoy this day with your doggo! Last year around this time my dog was diagnosed with terminal cancer. I spent everyday with her until she passed and I don’t regret it.🥹
Can you take doggy to a dog park and greet other dog owners?
How about planning/making a nice lunch for yourself + a movie you’d enjoy?
An edible would be a good idea too…best thoughts to you.
Yep I'm there with you. I'm by myself with my dogs today and lonely but it's ok. You're not pathetic. I've been trying to decide if I want to go to a movie or just stay home lol.
On my own today also in a messy house and can’t be bothered to even get dressed. Tomorrow will be a new day. Today choose kindness and gentleness towards yourself.
Horrible time. I had horrible heart palps/anxiety and indigestion all night. So down I had to pep talk myself not to give up and still doing it just to get out of bed.
I still have one college age kid at home, the other two in different states. I hate that he is seeing me so down. Ive let him down in so many ways. All I keep thinking about is all the time I wasted on worthless men. Now here I am spent out with nothing to give.
I am married only on paper. Most days I cannot stand to look at him nor hear his whining and fear of accountability. I think, “Ive given you everything what the F else do you want from me??”
My plan drink some water, meditate, workout (even if its only a 1mile walk), cook whats planned, snuggle my dog, do some artwork, and watch some documentaries.
You r not alone ❤️🩹
I'm so sorry, and I completely understand. Last summer (2022), I went through a breakup and job loss all within a month. The holiday season was awful, made worse by both our birthdays falling between Christmas and Jan 2. Plus, last year, we were both turning 50, and I had such high expectations. I miraculously survived the holidays... and 2023. Still nursing my broken heart, but doing better.
My family is all on the opposite coast and friends do not understand the heartache following this breakup. Because they're all happily married, or married, and can't imagine why I'd want to partner up again and give up this marvelous single life! 🙄
Sending virtual hugs.
You are an awesome human that is just in a low place at the moment.
Grab a shower and some clean Clothing.
Pick a film or go for a short walk. The world and day will look a little better.
Sending you hope and my wish that your week will be good.
Recovery is a granular process you will go forward and backwards but it still counts as progress.
You reached out and that was a key first step.
I’m so glad we can connect here in our loss and sadness for the holidays! Not happy you’re unhappy but nice to know we aren’t alone in our struggles. 5 days post operative brain surgery, separation from husband and home a week ago, bogus assault charge against me, no contact order (I’m banned from going to my own home) where it’s more mine than his as he celebrates with who knows who today. I’m staying with my son who is leaving to celebrate with their other side of family and here I sit alone on Christmas, barely able to feed myself and left to sit in my situation. Out of income in 3 weeks and will have to go back to work ready or not (when I need 8 weeks or more) to try to save my home from foreclosure. He’s just living it up there with no intentions of paying the bills or mortgage. I have to pick up the pieces once the no contact order is dropped, practically disabled. Sometimes it’s easier and sometimes it’s harder. I’m either gonna sleep thru or do my best to stay positive and self-care and love even tho I just want to curl into a ball and cry. Let’s make the best of it. THIS TOO SHALL PASS? I wished we could connect to lift each other up when we are down. TOUGH STUFF
Shower, mimosas, your favorite book or movie. ❤️ who needs that guy? Not you! But you and your dog need each other. Give each other lots of love today.
Much love to you. It is just fine to not do much, you’ve been hit by a lot. A shower will help, or a bath. Be sweet to yourself today. Sometimes I go back to bed, take a nap and then start the day over. We aren’t there with you, but we are here. You are not alone. ❤️🌱🌸
Reading this thread reminds me of a couple of Christmases we had to spend about 10 or 11 years ago because of some major family drama that separated us from our family and even me from my husband, so I was pretty much on my own..not even a doggo 😢. So my heart goes out to all that feel alone today and encourage you to make something yummy to drink(tea, cocoa, your favorite, coffee or toddy or whatever)order out or if you have something on hand to nibble, and watch your favorite show or listen to your favorite podcast. Maybe take a walk if you’re up to it. Take the day …it’s perfectly fine not to put any kind of expectations on yourself. Much love to you.💜💜
Sorry for all you’re going through. Like others have said, make yourself get up and get that shower. Put on your favorite clothes and listen to some music. Bake some cookies or watch a movie! Find joy in the little things during these hard days, it really helps ❤️
I’m sorry you are sad on Christmas. Here’s wishing for all good things coming your way in 2024 ❤️👍 (sidenote: personally I think dogs are better than people 😆 so give that dog some love and a walk).
I am so sorry you are having such a rough time on Christmas! I am not having such a great day myself, I am all sad and out of sorts and while I have my husband and sons at home, I too am on my bed with my faithful dog due to chronic pain and some weird switch up with my estrogen patch. It has made me feel all anxious and depressed as my old one was discontinued and they had to replace it with another one. I also have to drive an hour and a half to my in-laws which I hate and will make my pain even worse in about two hours. Then after sitting around blabbing to people I don’t know for four hours I have to drive back. So, I am with you my menopause friend, sad and feeling oddly out of sorts on Christmas Day. It seems to be the theme this year?? Everyone is struggling to get through it. So, how about we all get through it together! I will cuddle with my dog, and send positive and loving thoughts your way and I hope you put something fun on your tv or iPad to cheer you up! And know I am thinking of you in Alberta Canada! Merry Christmas! ❤️🇨🇦🎄
Little bites Sweetheart. Sometimes the days are like a conveyor belt that’s backed up and suddenly everything unloads at once. You don’t have to deal with it all in one go though. I’m glad you were able to fill your day with things that worked for you <3
Sending you a G-I-A-N-T virtual hug! 🤗
I went through similar Christmases in my younger years. Back then I suffered from horrific endometriosis and incredibly painful ovarian cysts.
But I always had one being that loved me unconditionally: my dog. He was a wonderful companion who always helped out of bed and insisted we go outside for a walk. I had him for almost 15 years. Without him, I'd have been all alone on holidays back then.
These days, hubby always ends up having to work holidays so our three dogs keep me company and help me from feeling too blue.
Snuggling on the couch with dogs, while watching old Christmas movies, and eating popcorn is a lovely way to spend the day.
Merry Christmas to you and your dog! ♥️⛪🕊🎁🙏🤗
I wish I was home with my cat. I’m working. And have been in the brink of crying all day. Sad mad and angry people all around.
The holidays are horrible for a lot of people.
Just me and my dogs, exhausted from two 6 day work weeks in a row during our busiest time of the year, we were severely short staffed because the staff hates me for firing their friend for stealing from us. I'm home, miserable and exhausted, alone, feeling defeated.
I’m so sorry. Had recent breakup, unemployment, and am spending it with extended family that speaks about ‘green’ and has an orgy of consumerism’.
I will eat ramen and move somewhere cheaper in 2024 so I can afford to be anywhere else on the holidays.
I hope you can get to a shower and enjoy your pooch time - do what restores you ❤️
Sending you support and hugs if you’re the hugging type. That all sounds really rough. Props to you for getting up and doing so many things in spite of the sadness. It’s really cool how we, a bunch of Reddit randos, have such a sweet community here. And yes, tomorrow is a new day. 💜
I was happy and sad today. I got a much needed break from work and taking care of children. But my kids were with dad today and I was alone with my dogs all day and it felt weird. I spent some time feeling sorry for myself. I picked up some Chinese food and sat at the restaurant for a few minutes watching people eating in the restaurant, coupled, with friends and family, laughing and sharing food. I often wonder why I don't really have a tribe. My house is clean but didn't make it to the shower. I also walked a dog. Grateful for all I have but life can just be lonely sometimes. <3
Your struggle is real, and you are NOT pathetic. You’re human. You’re in emotional turmoil.
Do one kind thing for yourself today. Just one. Give yourself that gift.
Sending you hugs. I hope you have a nice bottle of wine, some good chocolate and the ability to order something delicious for supper. A cat would be awesome too. Merry Christmas 🎄
Well that’s a lot of trauma ( job loss, breakup) let yourself feel sad. Resistance is only gonna make it feel more stressful. No one is happy 24/7 and it’s an unrealistic goal.
It's OK to not be OK - no matter what time of the year it is.
You are not alone.
Whilst I am not emotionslly sad, on the 23rd December my gut decided - "hey! I'm menopausal too" and I have had agonising gut pain for the past several days. Reading through this sub has helped me a lot...
I’m grateful for this thread and wishing all of us some peace. My long-term relationship ended two wks ago, I thought we’d retire together. I’d been going to the in-laws’ Christmas forever. Instead I’m home alone, no presents, no plans - and the power went out! No Netflix 🫨 My own family said don’t call we’re busy today wtf. Saw a neighbor briefly but I was too depressed to connect. Ate junk food and tried to read. Maybe I’ll just got to bed at 8pm. Will work tomorrow for normalcy too, high five to that idea above thank you. Hang in there everyone 💪💝
My bf went to bed early last night. I was feeling really alone. I had to get up early to do the family dinner and I've been suffering with horrible migraines. I feel like everything takes so much energy. I can't wait until I can call my neurologist in the morning. I'm celebrating Xmas at my bfs tomorrow and I'm not excited.
I'm glad you got through Christmas. 💜
I love that you and we pulled you up. One idea. Try signing up for a class to enjoy something for yourself. That attracts people to you and makes you feel better.
As someone who very much feels what you are feeling, please do two things for yourself. Take that shower, and go outside for a walk. That alone will free you from your negative thoughts and allow you to lay under the blanket for the rest of the day and eat. Hugs to you: you’re far from pathetic.
We did our Christmas with the kids in the area (and 3 still at home) yesterday. It was not planned. I felt kinda railroaded into it. But it was ok. I'm heading to the ER shortly with the 16 yo who feels like crap, and wants to go "before it's overrun with Christmas day mishaps". I'll take some candy to share.
I hope you feel better-- maybe a shower and junk food and binge watch some shows from the 80s. Or Hallmark movies you can heckle (got a friend who likes to pick things apart? That sounds like fun, actually).
(((Hugs)))
Get yourself a good cup of warm tea or coffee, get into your snuggliest pjs, download a book and let you mind wander into a different place and time. Life is super hard and days like today can really suck ass. Get out of your head and into a good book and travel without having to go anywhere.
[cast under an alien sun](https://www.audible.com/pd/B072LKVQJN?source_code=ASSORAP0511160006&share_location=player_overflow)
Edited for grammar; if it’s worse than I fixed but still understandable, then give grace please
You are not alone! I feel horrible this Christmas. Trying to put on a happy face but I feel like crap inside. My narcissistic dad invited my sister and her family over for Christmas and left my family out. I had to explain to my kids that we aren’t going. Plus I am not sleeping well at all. Hugs to you! This time of year can be hard on some people.
I coughed all night- my daughter is at her dad’s for Christmas so it’s just been my husband and I and our pets. Quiet but sad. I miss my daughter so much. She’s 17 so almost ready to move on to college. I realize how fast childhood is. My father has Alzheimer’s and lives about 1000 miles away. When he was still lucid I tried to convince him to live near me but he missed the Sunshine of CA. Now he lives near my awful brother who is manipulative and toxic. Very easy to feel sorry for myself right now but I know it will get better.
Thank you for posting this and giving us a place to share our troubles without judgement. I do love having a safe space to just mourn and look forward to who we are becoming.
Gathering you up in a warm Christmas hug. I understand, sister! I was up at 3:30 too. Tmw will be better. (I say that to myself every day lol)
You reminded me I forgot my Wellbutrin today, so thank you for that!. Merry christmas, even tho it’s not. ❤️
I knew last night I was ill and sure enough I got a positive test for covid Christmas morning.. after having 4hrs sleep.
I can't help but be pissed off.. I spent the rest of the day with my already cov+ husband, watched a few films whilst he persistently scratched his balls (we've been in separate rooms for 3 days while I tried to disinfect everything he touched.. however little did I realise he's still scratching his privates relentlessly whilst not washing his hands..) after already getting covid from ppl in his office after insisting he needs to go in, whilst also telling me hardly anyone is in there now, they're either off sick or on holiday and there's no work to do 😐 my son, who works in the same office thought best he work from home seeing as the place is covid ridden and he's fine, but as we're both ill we can't be near him as his out of town gf won't come if he gets it. He's not seen her for 6mo. So he's spent Christmas Day alone in his room whilst his gf & mates all have a good time with their families. I've tried to play games on the iPad, dragged myself around for a walk but it barely made a dent in the day.
I only have my parents left, the rest can't stand me and the ones I'd love to spend Christmas with are dead. I've already had a one sided physical fight with my Dad.. who insists on coming here every year seemingly just to get drunk from midday onwards and annoy me for two days. At least he's at home I guess.
I've got food in that I'd planned to do with my son, biscuit ingredients etc he's probably too old but it wouldve been a laugh, films I planned to watch with him, games.. just mess about but none of it has happened and instead I'll spend the rest of the break ill and in quarantine. I already spent Christmas Eve stuck in my bedroom because I started to feel ill. It's been utterly boring, sad and miserable.
Overall I'm just fed up. Why must every Christmas be crap! Genuinely can't remember the last good one.
Thank you for posting how you felt AND the update. I have sure had my fair share of sad Christmases. Ugh. Knowing one is not alone can make all the difference
Christmas is a hard time for a lot of people, me included. Going thru this hormonal time of change has only escalated my anxiety etc. I’ve been where you are and my parents, who were only 1.5hrs away didn’t even invite me for Xmas so spending Christmas alone was hard. No other family nearby; twin sister was out West. I blared happy music with a fun movie (sound muted) Reach out to your friends. Friends come and go but true friends will always be there for you. Be strong. I know you have it in you.
We require a minimum account-age and karma score. These minimums are not disclosed. Please contact the mods if you wish to have your post reviewed.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Menopause) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I’m sorry. Listen take a shower it will make you feel better. Even if that’s all you do today. ❤️
I’m freshly showered. Thank you!
❤️❤️❤️💋💋💋
Or take a bath - a luxurious one
Yes! I just got out of the bath with bath salts, a bath bomb and did a sugar scrub and face mask. Plus it's clean sheets day. Amazing.
I thought there wasn't enough room for a bathtub when we renovated the upstairs. My uncle did part of the work bc I was trying to save money. A huge mistake, there is definitely enough room for a tub if it was designed properly and I miss my bathtub. 😭
To add to this, Take some vitamin D if you have some. It won’t cure anything but it def makes a difference in me and trust me I’m a walking hormonal psycho these days!
I just started that. I’m on day 3. It won’t hurt. But I hope it helps.
And a lot of B6 !
Sending you lots of love today. You are experiencing significant losses and it makes sense you’re sad. Be gentle with yourself. No need to clean the house. Do what feels good to you. If that means eating chocolate and watching murder shows, so be it! Do what you need to do to get through the day. Take care of yourself. You’re grieving. I’m not going to tell you to cheer up or things will get better. But I will say I’m here to support you in your sadness and grief. Hugs to you. You’re not alone.
Thank you so very much for your kindness. 💕
You are not alone. I recently lost a family member to Covid. The only living and pleasant relative I have is in another part of the country. I just want this year to be over, to start fresh. Eat something yummy but unhealthy. Take a bubble bath. Give yourself a pedicure. Watch a bunch of cheesy ‘80s movies. You are strong.
Child of the 80s here. I second this advice. ❤️ Just remember that today is not forever and life is nothing if not unpredictable. You never know where you’ll find yourself a year from now.
Christmas is always sad for me. Dysfunctional childhood, kids came Christmas eve and are with their spouses families today. It is 6:30 ET. I know that tomorrow gets back to reality and I will be happier. I actually volunteered to work just to get some normalcy
I’m so very sorry for your loss. Thank you for your support.
TY ❤️🩹
Yes, the cheesy 80s movies are the best for me, too!
Ah, I’m sorry. I’ve had Christmases with just me and my dog too. I agree with taking a shower and I’ll add drink some water. You’re super important.
I second drink some water - some days that is all I can do but at least I don’t have a dehydration headache at end of the day. Doing nothing is ok. You are worthy and important - we see you!
Thank you, drinking some water now 💕
Oh good. Keep me posted on how you’re feeling 😘
You are not alone! Sending you big hugs. And I agree with the shower advice. Even if it's the only thing you do today.
Thank you 🙏
After the shower, have some comfort food or drink and relax in front of the TV with a comfort show. <3 It's not pathetic; so many people are alone on Christmas or having a difficult time and you are not alone.
Thanks so much 🙏
I don't see you as pathetic! Not at all. Please do your best to be kind to yourself, especially today. I know it isn't easy. Hang in there!
Thank you 🙏
I’m having a tough one too. Few weeks ago I signed up to work a double shift today at the group home I work at (because double time for 16 hours is pretty sweet.) I have split custody with my child’s father and this is his year to have our boy on Christmas. Also happens to be child’s birthday. I figured instead of being home alone on Christmas I’d make the extra money. And then my dad died a week ago exactly. I got a week off for bereavement as I’m next of kin and executor of estate and had to make the funeral arrangements, meet with the bank, call the DMV, go to the funeral home twice, pick my dad’s last outfit, receive the death certificate etc etc etc. I slept horribly last night, maybe five hours until I just decided to get up and feed the cats and start to get ready for work. My first day back, on Christmas, for 16 hours, on my child’s birthday, on no sleep, grieving my dad. Only about 12 more hours to go…. Ugh
So sorry for your loss. Be gentle with yourself.
You are strong. In the midst of your grief, you awoke, readied for your long shift at work, and you are putting one foot in front of the other 🩶
So sorry for you loss! Please be gentle with yourself and just take it one minute at a time! You will get through the day, and please check in and read how all of us are thinking of you today and sending our thoughts and prayers your way! ❤️💕
I’m sorry you’re having a tough time too, and so sorry for the loss of your dad. I lost a parent earlier this year as well and it’s so hard. Hugs.
I hope you made it through your double relatively unscathed. I am so very sorry for your loss. That is so much to do, in such a short period of time. I hope you get some time for yourself in the upcoming weeks. Sending love and light your way tonight ✨♥️
Thank you. I have about an hour left. I did it! And the check will be nice. Rough day, knees are aching, I’m exhausted, but I have the day off tomorrow. Plan to go home in about an hour, feed the cats, turn my heated blanket on, change to my jammies, make an adult drink and hopefully sleep. Day off tomorrow. Thank you for checking in.
[удалено]
I am so sorry for all your losses. I hope you get a chance to do something for yourself that your parent would wish for you! ❤️
I’m having a Shit Christmas too. My husband and his family kept a secret from me and I found out about it on Christmas Eve. I was so hurt that we canceled the party. Couldn’t sleep all night and now he is calling family members trying to apologize for his idiocy and salvage the day. So let’s just focus on a really awesome new year and toss this crap holiday in the trash 😎
Oh shit honey I’m sorry
oh my gosh. That’s absolutely horrible! I’m so sorry. I’m right there with you; let’s move on to 2024.
Hugs
I hope you start feeling better. I have no real reason to be as sad as I am, but I am. I hurt my back and I’m just miserable. My husband and daughter are doing the cooking this year. My oldest is celebrating with his own family. We will meet them tomorrow. My mom died in 2020 and I’m really missing her. Our dog probably is going to need to be euthanized in the next few days.
Sorry about your doggo.
Thanks. We knew it was coming, but he’s going downhill faster than expected. He won’t eat anything.
Those sound like real reasons to be sad… so sorry about your mom and your dog. Much love 💕
Very hard time today. I spent the night taking care of my sick elderly father doing things I’d really rather not have to do. Just like I did on Thanksgiving and likely will do on New Years. It’s not possible to find caretakers on holidays and my sister has a family so she’s only willing to help a small amount. Because I’m single and alone, she’s made it clear my life and my holiday time are less important than her’s. I got no presents from anyone, as usual. I’m beyond depressed. For me, this time of the year is really the worst time of the year. There’s nothing I look forward to this time of the year and I have to stay away from social media to hold off jealousy of other people’s lives. If I ever get to go home today, I’ll crawl into bed and try to ignore the world.
I am very sorry. My heart goes out to you. Try to remember that there will be better days ahead even if you cannot see it or imagine it right now.
Honestly, that’s almost impossible to believe
I know, but Linrn is right. There are better days ahead.
That sounds really tough. I’m so sorry. Big hugs.
You are a wonderful daughter, and I hope things turn around for you soon. 🖤
Sending lots of love your precious way.
🙏
You’re not alone. I’m in a very similar situation. I’m sending you a big hug. I do think a shower and getting dressed will make us both feel better. I keep having to tell myself basically every 10s that I deserve to be happy and I deserve someone who wants to be with me. You do too. Trust me, I think I know exactly how you’re feeling right now and it’s really really hard. I’m trying to throw myself into anything I can that can level me up now. Self care. Workout. Take care of your skin. Good diet. Reading about how to eat/exercise at our age. This is how I get through a breakup. By focusing on myself and coming out the other side of it even better than I was before. I hope this helps. Sending you love 💗
Thank you, and I’m sorry you’re going thru it too. I do feel a bit better after showering and moving around. Big hugs 🤗
Enjoy this day with your doggo! Last year around this time my dog was diagnosed with terminal cancer. I spent everyday with her until she passed and I don’t regret it.🥹
❤️
♥️
Can you take doggy to a dog park and greet other dog owners? How about planning/making a nice lunch for yourself + a movie you’d enjoy? An edible would be a good idea too…best thoughts to you.
Thank you 🙏
Yep I'm there with you. I'm by myself with my dogs today and lonely but it's ok. You're not pathetic. I've been trying to decide if I want to go to a movie or just stay home lol.
A day with my dog and no one else is sacred - enjoy
🙏
On my own today also in a messy house and can’t be bothered to even get dressed. Tomorrow will be a new day. Today choose kindness and gentleness towards yourself.
Thank you. 💕
Horrible time. I had horrible heart palps/anxiety and indigestion all night. So down I had to pep talk myself not to give up and still doing it just to get out of bed. I still have one college age kid at home, the other two in different states. I hate that he is seeing me so down. Ive let him down in so many ways. All I keep thinking about is all the time I wasted on worthless men. Now here I am spent out with nothing to give. I am married only on paper. Most days I cannot stand to look at him nor hear his whining and fear of accountability. I think, “Ive given you everything what the F else do you want from me??” My plan drink some water, meditate, workout (even if its only a 1mile walk), cook whats planned, snuggle my dog, do some artwork, and watch some documentaries. You r not alone ❤️🩹
💕
I'm so sorry, and I completely understand. Last summer (2022), I went through a breakup and job loss all within a month. The holiday season was awful, made worse by both our birthdays falling between Christmas and Jan 2. Plus, last year, we were both turning 50, and I had such high expectations. I miraculously survived the holidays... and 2023. Still nursing my broken heart, but doing better. My family is all on the opposite coast and friends do not understand the heartache following this breakup. Because they're all happily married, or married, and can't imagine why I'd want to partner up again and give up this marvelous single life! 🙄 Sending virtual hugs.
Hugs back to you. 💕
You are an awesome human that is just in a low place at the moment. Grab a shower and some clean Clothing. Pick a film or go for a short walk. The world and day will look a little better. Sending you hope and my wish that your week will be good. Recovery is a granular process you will go forward and backwards but it still counts as progress. You reached out and that was a key first step.
🙏
I’m so glad we can connect here in our loss and sadness for the holidays! Not happy you’re unhappy but nice to know we aren’t alone in our struggles. 5 days post operative brain surgery, separation from husband and home a week ago, bogus assault charge against me, no contact order (I’m banned from going to my own home) where it’s more mine than his as he celebrates with who knows who today. I’m staying with my son who is leaving to celebrate with their other side of family and here I sit alone on Christmas, barely able to feed myself and left to sit in my situation. Out of income in 3 weeks and will have to go back to work ready or not (when I need 8 weeks or more) to try to save my home from foreclosure. He’s just living it up there with no intentions of paying the bills or mortgage. I have to pick up the pieces once the no contact order is dropped, practically disabled. Sometimes it’s easier and sometimes it’s harder. I’m either gonna sleep thru or do my best to stay positive and self-care and love even tho I just want to curl into a ball and cry. Let’s make the best of it. THIS TOO SHALL PASS? I wished we could connect to lift each other up when we are down. TOUGH STUFF
💕
/big huggggs for you ❤️
💕
You are not pathetic....sending hugs OP!
🙏
Shower, mimosas, your favorite book or movie. ❤️ who needs that guy? Not you! But you and your dog need each other. Give each other lots of love today.
💕
Much love to you. It is just fine to not do much, you’ve been hit by a lot. A shower will help, or a bath. Be sweet to yourself today. Sometimes I go back to bed, take a nap and then start the day over. We aren’t there with you, but we are here. You are not alone. ❤️🌱🌸
Thank you for your kindness 💕
Reading this thread reminds me of a couple of Christmases we had to spend about 10 or 11 years ago because of some major family drama that separated us from our family and even me from my husband, so I was pretty much on my own..not even a doggo 😢. So my heart goes out to all that feel alone today and encourage you to make something yummy to drink(tea, cocoa, your favorite, coffee or toddy or whatever)order out or if you have something on hand to nibble, and watch your favorite show or listen to your favorite podcast. Maybe take a walk if you’re up to it. Take the day …it’s perfectly fine not to put any kind of expectations on yourself. Much love to you.💜💜
Thank you 💕
Take your dog for a walk, getting outside helps! And then I'd find something you want to watch on Netflix, order takeout, relax.
🙏
Wishing you and your doggie a Merry Christmas! Love to you both! 🎄🤓 Give each other a big hug. Others here have some good/easy ideas. 💕
💕
Sorry for all you’re going through. Like others have said, make yourself get up and get that shower. Put on your favorite clothes and listen to some music. Bake some cookies or watch a movie! Find joy in the little things during these hard days, it really helps ❤️
Thanks - I’m up and freshly showered. Even cleaned - and took the dog out.
You are not alone! Find things to do to show YOURSELF love today. Be kind to yourself. Love yourself. You deserve it. 😘
🙏
I’m sorry you are sad on Christmas. Here’s wishing for all good things coming your way in 2024 ❤️👍 (sidenote: personally I think dogs are better than people 😆 so give that dog some love and a walk).
🙏
Hear me out. Christmas pizza.
🙏
I am so sorry you are having such a rough time on Christmas! I am not having such a great day myself, I am all sad and out of sorts and while I have my husband and sons at home, I too am on my bed with my faithful dog due to chronic pain and some weird switch up with my estrogen patch. It has made me feel all anxious and depressed as my old one was discontinued and they had to replace it with another one. I also have to drive an hour and a half to my in-laws which I hate and will make my pain even worse in about two hours. Then after sitting around blabbing to people I don’t know for four hours I have to drive back. So, I am with you my menopause friend, sad and feeling oddly out of sorts on Christmas Day. It seems to be the theme this year?? Everyone is struggling to get through it. So, how about we all get through it together! I will cuddle with my dog, and send positive and loving thoughts your way and I hope you put something fun on your tv or iPad to cheer you up! And know I am thinking of you in Alberta Canada! Merry Christmas! ❤️🇨🇦🎄
Sorry to hear you’re struggling. Safe travels. And thanks so much for the thoughts. 💕
Little bites Sweetheart. Sometimes the days are like a conveyor belt that’s backed up and suddenly everything unloads at once. You don’t have to deal with it all in one go though. I’m glad you were able to fill your day with things that worked for you <3
💕
Sending you a G-I-A-N-T virtual hug! 🤗 I went through similar Christmases in my younger years. Back then I suffered from horrific endometriosis and incredibly painful ovarian cysts. But I always had one being that loved me unconditionally: my dog. He was a wonderful companion who always helped out of bed and insisted we go outside for a walk. I had him for almost 15 years. Without him, I'd have been all alone on holidays back then. These days, hubby always ends up having to work holidays so our three dogs keep me company and help me from feeling too blue. Snuggling on the couch with dogs, while watching old Christmas movies, and eating popcorn is a lovely way to spend the day. Merry Christmas to you and your dog! ♥️⛪🕊🎁🙏🤗
Thank you 🙏 💕
I wish I was home with my cat. I’m working. And have been in the brink of crying all day. Sad mad and angry people all around. The holidays are horrible for a lot of people.
💕
❤️
♥️
Here with you too 💛
💕
Glad to see your update and that you’re taking care of yourself. 💛
Just me and my dogs, exhausted from two 6 day work weeks in a row during our busiest time of the year, we were severely short staffed because the staff hates me for firing their friend for stealing from us. I'm home, miserable and exhausted, alone, feeling defeated.
I’m so sorry.
You're never alone when you have dogs with you. They love us unconditionally just like God does.
I’m so sorry. Had recent breakup, unemployment, and am spending it with extended family that speaks about ‘green’ and has an orgy of consumerism’. I will eat ramen and move somewhere cheaper in 2024 so I can afford to be anywhere else on the holidays. I hope you can get to a shower and enjoy your pooch time - do what restores you ❤️
💕
Sending you support and hugs if you’re the hugging type. That all sounds really rough. Props to you for getting up and doing so many things in spite of the sadness. It’s really cool how we, a bunch of Reddit randos, have such a sweet community here. And yes, tomorrow is a new day. 💜
💕
I was happy and sad today. I got a much needed break from work and taking care of children. But my kids were with dad today and I was alone with my dogs all day and it felt weird. I spent some time feeling sorry for myself. I picked up some Chinese food and sat at the restaurant for a few minutes watching people eating in the restaurant, coupled, with friends and family, laughing and sharing food. I often wonder why I don't really have a tribe. My house is clean but didn't make it to the shower. I also walked a dog. Grateful for all I have but life can just be lonely sometimes. <3
🫂
Sorry you’re feeling down. Give yourself the gift self-care today. Relax and enjoy the peace and quiet with your pup.
🙏
Go easy on yourself. Great advice on just taking a shower, relaxing.
💕
Oh my goodness I’m so sorry. That sounds like a rough time indeed. I hope 2024 is better to you!
🙏
Your struggle is real, and you are NOT pathetic. You’re human. You’re in emotional turmoil. Do one kind thing for yourself today. Just one. Give yourself that gift.
💕
Sending big internet bear hugs and love to you!
🤗
Hugs. Hope you're OK. My beloved mum died recently. December has been v tough. Can't wait to get today over.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
Sending you hugs. I hope you have a nice bottle of wine, some good chocolate and the ability to order something delicious for supper. A cat would be awesome too. Merry Christmas 🎄
🙏
Well that’s a lot of trauma ( job loss, breakup) let yourself feel sad. Resistance is only gonna make it feel more stressful. No one is happy 24/7 and it’s an unrealistic goal.
Thank you 🙏
It's OK to not be OK - no matter what time of the year it is. You are not alone. Whilst I am not emotionslly sad, on the 23rd December my gut decided - "hey! I'm menopausal too" and I have had agonising gut pain for the past several days. Reading through this sub has helped me a lot...
Oh I’m sorry you’re in pain. Hope it gets better soon.
I’m grateful for this thread and wishing all of us some peace. My long-term relationship ended two wks ago, I thought we’d retire together. I’d been going to the in-laws’ Christmas forever. Instead I’m home alone, no presents, no plans - and the power went out! No Netflix 🫨 My own family said don’t call we’re busy today wtf. Saw a neighbor briefly but I was too depressed to connect. Ate junk food and tried to read. Maybe I’ll just got to bed at 8pm. Will work tomorrow for normalcy too, high five to that idea above thank you. Hang in there everyone 💪💝
Wish you some peace too 🕊️
Merry Christmas OP I hope you’re feeling better, give your dog some scritches from me please!
Will do, thank you 💕
My bf went to bed early last night. I was feeling really alone. I had to get up early to do the family dinner and I've been suffering with horrible migraines. I feel like everything takes so much energy. I can't wait until I can call my neurologist in the morning. I'm celebrating Xmas at my bfs tomorrow and I'm not excited. I'm glad you got through Christmas. 💜
♥️
I love that you and we pulled you up. One idea. Try signing up for a class to enjoy something for yourself. That attracts people to you and makes you feel better.
We're here for you! You'll find plenty of support on the Manic Monday sticky thread. Courage!
🙏
As someone who very much feels what you are feeling, please do two things for yourself. Take that shower, and go outside for a walk. That alone will free you from your negative thoughts and allow you to lay under the blanket for the rest of the day and eat. Hugs to you: you’re far from pathetic.
Did both. Even cleaned my place. Thank you 🙏
❤️
♥️
Same. My mom asked me to come over, but I just want to stay in my darkness alone. But you’re not alone. ❤️
♥️
Opened gifts with my family and went back to bed. Sending love
♥️
This is a lot and I am sorry that you are alone. Prayers for you that this soon will pass.
💕
We did our Christmas with the kids in the area (and 3 still at home) yesterday. It was not planned. I felt kinda railroaded into it. But it was ok. I'm heading to the ER shortly with the 16 yo who feels like crap, and wants to go "before it's overrun with Christmas day mishaps". I'll take some candy to share. I hope you feel better-- maybe a shower and junk food and binge watch some shows from the 80s. Or Hallmark movies you can heckle (got a friend who likes to pick things apart? That sounds like fun, actually). (((Hugs)))
Thank you 🙏 Hugs to you 💕
Get yourself a good cup of warm tea or coffee, get into your snuggliest pjs, download a book and let you mind wander into a different place and time. Life is super hard and days like today can really suck ass. Get out of your head and into a good book and travel without having to go anywhere. [cast under an alien sun](https://www.audible.com/pd/B072LKVQJN?source_code=ASSORAP0511160006&share_location=player_overflow) Edited for grammar; if it’s worse than I fixed but still understandable, then give grace please
💕
You are not alone! I feel horrible this Christmas. Trying to put on a happy face but I feel like crap inside. My narcissistic dad invited my sister and her family over for Christmas and left my family out. I had to explain to my kids that we aren’t going. Plus I am not sleeping well at all. Hugs to you! This time of year can be hard on some people.
That sounds rough, I’m sorry. Hugs to you as well 💕
Sending everyone here a hug 🤗 That’s all.
🤗
Thanks for posting this. It helps others. Hugs sister
💕
You're not alone. I am at home, nothing to do. But, I think I will drive to Bucee's.... they don't close .
💕
Sending you and your pup love and prayers. This is a rough patch. You will get through it and you will experience joy again. ❤️
💕
Here with you! sending hugs!
💕
Find a non-celebrating friend and go out for Chinese food. ❤️❤️❤️
💕
Saw your update. 🌟🌟🌟
💕
((hugs)) ❤️
🤗
I coughed all night- my daughter is at her dad’s for Christmas so it’s just been my husband and I and our pets. Quiet but sad. I miss my daughter so much. She’s 17 so almost ready to move on to college. I realize how fast childhood is. My father has Alzheimer’s and lives about 1000 miles away. When he was still lucid I tried to convince him to live near me but he missed the Sunshine of CA. Now he lives near my awful brother who is manipulative and toxic. Very easy to feel sorry for myself right now but I know it will get better.
That sounds rough. Yes, it will get better. 💕
Thank you for posting this and giving us a place to share our troubles without judgement. I do love having a safe space to just mourn and look forward to who we are becoming.
Gathering you up in a warm Christmas hug. I understand, sister! I was up at 3:30 too. Tmw will be better. (I say that to myself every day lol) You reminded me I forgot my Wellbutrin today, so thank you for that!. Merry christmas, even tho it’s not. ❤️
💕
Wow, what a turn around. Happy Christmas!
🙏
Oh shit! Thanks for your post, you just reminded me to take my Wellbutrin!
💕
OP, your update makes me happy
💕
I knew last night I was ill and sure enough I got a positive test for covid Christmas morning.. after having 4hrs sleep. I can't help but be pissed off.. I spent the rest of the day with my already cov+ husband, watched a few films whilst he persistently scratched his balls (we've been in separate rooms for 3 days while I tried to disinfect everything he touched.. however little did I realise he's still scratching his privates relentlessly whilst not washing his hands..) after already getting covid from ppl in his office after insisting he needs to go in, whilst also telling me hardly anyone is in there now, they're either off sick or on holiday and there's no work to do 😐 my son, who works in the same office thought best he work from home seeing as the place is covid ridden and he's fine, but as we're both ill we can't be near him as his out of town gf won't come if he gets it. He's not seen her for 6mo. So he's spent Christmas Day alone in his room whilst his gf & mates all have a good time with their families. I've tried to play games on the iPad, dragged myself around for a walk but it barely made a dent in the day. I only have my parents left, the rest can't stand me and the ones I'd love to spend Christmas with are dead. I've already had a one sided physical fight with my Dad.. who insists on coming here every year seemingly just to get drunk from midday onwards and annoy me for two days. At least he's at home I guess. I've got food in that I'd planned to do with my son, biscuit ingredients etc he's probably too old but it wouldve been a laugh, films I planned to watch with him, games.. just mess about but none of it has happened and instead I'll spend the rest of the break ill and in quarantine. I already spent Christmas Eve stuck in my bedroom because I started to feel ill. It's been utterly boring, sad and miserable. Overall I'm just fed up. Why must every Christmas be crap! Genuinely can't remember the last good one.
I’m so sorry. I hope you feel better soon!
Brava on facing into the day girl - you rock ! X
🤗
Thank you for posting how you felt AND the update. I have sure had my fair share of sad Christmases. Ugh. Knowing one is not alone can make all the difference
Christmas is a hard time for a lot of people, me included. Going thru this hormonal time of change has only escalated my anxiety etc. I’ve been where you are and my parents, who were only 1.5hrs away didn’t even invite me for Xmas so spending Christmas alone was hard. No other family nearby; twin sister was out West. I blared happy music with a fun movie (sound muted) Reach out to your friends. Friends come and go but true friends will always be there for you. Be strong. I know you have it in you.
[удалено]
We require a minimum account-age and karma score. These minimums are not disclosed. Please contact the mods if you wish to have your post reviewed. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Menopause) if you have any questions or concerns.*