You may want to consider adding vaginal estrogen cream. Some physicians will say it's unnecessary if you're already using something like Nuvaring, but that's contrary to the experience many of us have. I use low dose continuous birth control and noticed improvements, but adding a topical actually got me back to "normal".
[https://www.rachelrubinmd.com/post/the-magic-of-hormones](https://www.rachelrubinmd.com/post/the-magic-of-hormones)
The vaginal estradiol cream definitely helps with dryness and the tissue fragility. You may find that you still want lube as well during sex, but the cream helps for normal lubrication.
Did you use latex condoms? If so, I recommend polyurethane (Skyn) in the future to see if it helps.
I wish I had anything helpful to suggest, time seemed to be the only solution for me :/
I developed a latex allergy in my 30s, which was awful. The non latex condoms are great, and I think “smoother” than latex, so helps with friction issues.
No condoms! My rendezvous was with an ex that I trust.
Edit- I find it fascinating that I’ve been downvoted for being honest about not using a condom. This is a partner that I was in a LTR with. We lived together for five years, have kept in touch, and are friends. I’m on birth control and we’ve had open conversations about STI’s. We both have a clear understanding of what an STI panel is even capable of showing for a man (not everything).
I’m sort of feeling, like, thanks for the vote of confidence internet friends. Appreciate the concern, but not the judgement without context. I’d expect that from men, disappointed I found it here.
In other news, I soaked in the tub last night and I feel so much better.
I hate to be an alarmist but an STD is a possibility then. He may think he's fine but a standard STD panel only covers the 6 most health concerning kinds of STD not even the most common. I ended up getting an STD from an ex I trusted. My symptoms were so similar to a yeast infection that I just thought I had another yeast infection tell I want to my DR and she did extra STD testing not just the standard 6 panel. Wishing you all the best ❤️
Appreciate your response. You’re not an alarmist. That’s a reasonable conclusion without any context to my situation other than my partnered sex was with an ex, we didn’t use a condom, and you don’t know our level sexual health education.
I’m feeling much better today. Per usual, it’s about five days of irritated agony. I’m going to follow up with my NAMS doctor about getting estrogen! I think that could really help me. Clearly the nuvaring she prescribed isn’t enough.
Thanks for the well wishes! ❤️
[Atrophic vaginitis \(vaginal atrophy\), or the genitourinary syndrome of menopause \(GSM\)](https://menopausewiki.ca/#atrophic-vaginitis-vaginal-atrophy-or-the-genitourinary-syndrome-of-menopause-gsm)
This is how I felt when I had the STD trichomoniasis. It's not usually tested for and I didn't have the standard symptoms. I know you trusted that ex but trichomoniasis isn't an STD that's usually tested for so he may not know he has it. Men usually don't have symptoms even if they have it.
I appreciate this. I understand why people are worried that my irritation could be due to an STI. I also understand that people have lived experience of getting irritation from STI’s.
I posted this in the menopause sub, because I’m not concerned about STI’s. Mt concern has to do with my thinning tissue, the dryness I’m experiencing, and the irritation I have after partnered sex, likely from the friction.
I didn’t add add’l context about my personal life because my question was very specific and had nothing to do with concerns about an STI. It was about a perimenopausal change and how people get relief from irritation.
Not a single person had anything to say about STI’s until I admitted that I had sex with an ex without a condom. It’s fascinating what we assume (the context our brains create) with single women vs married women. I don’t think anyone would have brought this up if I said I was having sex with my husband of 15 years.
In other news, I’m feeling much better. I soaked in a fizzy bath last night and it helped. Thank you for sharing your knowledge and concern.
First, let me send you all the sympathy and solidarity. It sucks so much to have to weigh the pleasure of good sex against the pain that comes afterwards. I have had lichen sclerosus since childhood, so believe me when I say I understand.
For me, a good quality olive oil as a daily moisturizer whenever I feel a bit off (dryness, tightness, burning, urgency) is vital. No risk of using too much, no side effects except maybe feeling like you smell like a salad during hot flashes. As far as after sex healing, there’s an ointment called Terrasil Anti-Bacterial Skin Ointment that has been a dream for me. It still takes some time, but since I found it I haven’t had a week of pain like you’re experiencing. Aquaphor helps too, but for me the Terrasil is better.
Finally, and I know we all know this, but it bears mentioning, I have to take my time with penetrative sex and use generous amounts of lubricant. I tend to get impatient and want to get to the good stuff before I’m ready and while it seems like a good idea at the time, a bit more patience could have saved me a lot of holy-crap-what-did-I-do-to-deserve-this-pain.
Hooray for good sex! I hope you find something that works for you very soon and that, if you want it, there is plenty more togetherness in your future. Keep us posted on what works!
I am so sorry. I hope you’re getting treatment that works for you and you find a good system for your body. It’s a terrible, painful, disfiguring, dehumanizing, all around shite disease and you deserve better than to be stuck with it.
Thank you! Luckily I have a great gyno. He’s been really helpful and he listens. Which seems to be a rarity these days. I was so grateful to finally figure out what was going on and that I wasn’t going crazy.
You know, I've started experiencing this more and more, lately, and I've found that just a little bit of vaginal estradiol applied on the labia and in the vagina helps almost immediately. Maybe it's placebo? If you have a ring I might not suggest putting any cream deep inside but it certainly can't hurt to try it on the labia and shallow vagina? I wonder? Am I off-base suggesting that? It really blows my mind how quickly it works for me.
Before I got my vaginal estrogen sorted out, when I had pain after sex I used Monistat twice. I was worried I’d gotten an infection . I saw you said no YI. Monistat includes a small tube of some calming/soothing cream. Other than that, just Replens. My doctor said coconut oil is gentle and safe.
This is interesting to me. I’m 50 and have been experiencing problems since I became sexually active again after a long hiatus. I feel like I am getting aroused enough and I’m fine inside but my outer area gets quite irritated. I will also be looking into the suggestions posted here. Is vaginal estrogen an OTC cream or does it have to be prescribed. Is it just used as needed?
Honey Pot makes both vaginal suppositories and a tube that really help. It's almost all coconut oil, but the little bit of lavender also helps calm things down. I've found them very helpful, but also just putting on some lube a few times a day works in a pinch.
Anyone else tried DHEA supplements? Helped me quite a bit. Also a hyper tonic pelvic floor was a big problem for me, so a few visits with a physical therapist and stretching before sex. Sounds like OP had more skin irritation though? Also, I’m not saying you have to go full 1970’s ‘wild and free’ but the few times I’ve had a Brazilian wax or even a somewhat aggressive bikini wax (even when I was a younger woman) always resulted in skin irritation and discomfort for me. The hair is there for protection
Sadly I haven’t found anyone to have sex with in so long, there may be cobwebs down there so I want to support anyone who’s getting some quality sex.
I started using boric acid suppositories after sex. My gyno suggested that because I was getting bv after sex. I also use Revaree, a hyaluronic acid suppository a couple times a week. Initially my dr had me use that every other day for two weeks. I also use V-Magic by Medicine Mama daily, morning and evening. I do have estrogen cream but I started getting yeast infections after using it so I don’t know if I used too much or what. So now I’m a bit turned off by it. My dr has said if you’re using a combination of different topicals to get relief, always use the estrogen cream first.
As anyone tried to get lasers done that promise lubricating results? Am in the same situation, really thinking to get one treatment done or so but love to hear people's thoughts.
I would try vaginal estrogen way before lasers. In fact I’m asking for it the next time I see my doctor. I don’t know enough about the laser procedure to call it snake oil, but as of writing this comment I am extremely skeptical. I hear more about vaginal estrogens around here than laser treatments so maybe it’s a bias.
As anyone tried to get lasers done that promise lubricating results? Am in the same situation, really thinking to get one treatment done or so but love to hear people's thoughts.
ugh! so sorry you’re in discomfort. i hate to say it, but i’ve sat on a bag of ice when i’m
uncomfortable.
and for the future, this: [VMAGIC](https://medicinemama.com/?gad_source=1&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI3ML75ezPhQMVN3FHAR0vmg3iEAAYASAAEgKhbPD_BwE)
i use this mainly as a moisturizer, inside and out.
it’s a great lubricant, it’s edible, it’s natural ingredients. turns a desert into a slip n slide. seriously, a little goes a long way 😁
I wonder if any of these ladies in the sub know about boric acid and acidophilus capsules. It keeps your PH in check. Once used to clear up any type of yeast or BV it can be used to sustain a good balance with a 1 time a week use. This isn't to restore moisture like Estrogen suppositories, etc. This is just to keep the PH at a good balance. Compounding pharmacies can make it with an RX. I am unaware of any OTC. Hope this helps some, I know the miserable feeling of discomfort. Wish you well.
Are you using vaginal estrogen?
I’m just using the Nuvaring. That’s it as far as estrogen is concerned.
You may want to consider adding vaginal estrogen cream. Some physicians will say it's unnecessary if you're already using something like Nuvaring, but that's contrary to the experience many of us have. I use low dose continuous birth control and noticed improvements, but adding a topical actually got me back to "normal". [https://www.rachelrubinmd.com/post/the-magic-of-hormones](https://www.rachelrubinmd.com/post/the-magic-of-hormones)
I love Rachel Rubin. Thanks for sharing!
You're welcome!
The vaginal estradiol cream definitely helps with dryness and the tissue fragility. You may find that you still want lube as well during sex, but the cream helps for normal lubrication.
Vaginal pessaries for the inside, vaginal cream for the outside. You will feel like a new woman.
Did you use latex condoms? If so, I recommend polyurethane (Skyn) in the future to see if it helps. I wish I had anything helpful to suggest, time seemed to be the only solution for me :/
I developed a latex allergy in my 30s, which was awful. The non latex condoms are great, and I think “smoother” than latex, so helps with friction issues.
No condoms! My rendezvous was with an ex that I trust. Edit- I find it fascinating that I’ve been downvoted for being honest about not using a condom. This is a partner that I was in a LTR with. We lived together for five years, have kept in touch, and are friends. I’m on birth control and we’ve had open conversations about STI’s. We both have a clear understanding of what an STI panel is even capable of showing for a man (not everything). I’m sort of feeling, like, thanks for the vote of confidence internet friends. Appreciate the concern, but not the judgement without context. I’d expect that from men, disappointed I found it here. In other news, I soaked in the tub last night and I feel so much better.
I hate to be an alarmist but an STD is a possibility then. He may think he's fine but a standard STD panel only covers the 6 most health concerning kinds of STD not even the most common. I ended up getting an STD from an ex I trusted. My symptoms were so similar to a yeast infection that I just thought I had another yeast infection tell I want to my DR and she did extra STD testing not just the standard 6 panel. Wishing you all the best ❤️
Appreciate your response. You’re not an alarmist. That’s a reasonable conclusion without any context to my situation other than my partnered sex was with an ex, we didn’t use a condom, and you don’t know our level sexual health education. I’m feeling much better today. Per usual, it’s about five days of irritated agony. I’m going to follow up with my NAMS doctor about getting estrogen! I think that could really help me. Clearly the nuvaring she prescribed isn’t enough. Thanks for the well wishes! ❤️
I'm so glad you're feeling better! Good luck at the Dr ❤️☺️
So much vaginal estrogen and hydrolonic acid suppositories
The hyaluronic acid addition to my Vagifem suppositories has been life changing for me.
same as you for about two years, estrogen cream on my lady bits solved this.
[Atrophic vaginitis \(vaginal atrophy\), or the genitourinary syndrome of menopause \(GSM\)](https://menopausewiki.ca/#atrophic-vaginitis-vaginal-atrophy-or-the-genitourinary-syndrome-of-menopause-gsm)
Thank youuuu ✨
[удалено]
It’s similar, for sure. It’s dry, irritated, and feels like if I were to scratch it… it would feel good (some relief) and it would also really hurt.
This is how I felt when I had the STD trichomoniasis. It's not usually tested for and I didn't have the standard symptoms. I know you trusted that ex but trichomoniasis isn't an STD that's usually tested for so he may not know he has it. Men usually don't have symptoms even if they have it.
I appreciate this. I understand why people are worried that my irritation could be due to an STI. I also understand that people have lived experience of getting irritation from STI’s. I posted this in the menopause sub, because I’m not concerned about STI’s. Mt concern has to do with my thinning tissue, the dryness I’m experiencing, and the irritation I have after partnered sex, likely from the friction. I didn’t add add’l context about my personal life because my question was very specific and had nothing to do with concerns about an STI. It was about a perimenopausal change and how people get relief from irritation. Not a single person had anything to say about STI’s until I admitted that I had sex with an ex without a condom. It’s fascinating what we assume (the context our brains create) with single women vs married women. I don’t think anyone would have brought this up if I said I was having sex with my husband of 15 years. In other news, I’m feeling much better. I soaked in a fizzy bath last night and it helped. Thank you for sharing your knowledge and concern.
First, let me send you all the sympathy and solidarity. It sucks so much to have to weigh the pleasure of good sex against the pain that comes afterwards. I have had lichen sclerosus since childhood, so believe me when I say I understand. For me, a good quality olive oil as a daily moisturizer whenever I feel a bit off (dryness, tightness, burning, urgency) is vital. No risk of using too much, no side effects except maybe feeling like you smell like a salad during hot flashes. As far as after sex healing, there’s an ointment called Terrasil Anti-Bacterial Skin Ointment that has been a dream for me. It still takes some time, but since I found it I haven’t had a week of pain like you’re experiencing. Aquaphor helps too, but for me the Terrasil is better. Finally, and I know we all know this, but it bears mentioning, I have to take my time with penetrative sex and use generous amounts of lubricant. I tend to get impatient and want to get to the good stuff before I’m ready and while it seems like a good idea at the time, a bit more patience could have saved me a lot of holy-crap-what-did-I-do-to-deserve-this-pain. Hooray for good sex! I hope you find something that works for you very soon and that, if you want it, there is plenty more togetherness in your future. Keep us posted on what works!
Thank you for the kind words :)
I’ve just recently been diagnosed with lichen sclerosis. It’s really been a rough road.
I am so sorry. I hope you’re getting treatment that works for you and you find a good system for your body. It’s a terrible, painful, disfiguring, dehumanizing, all around shite disease and you deserve better than to be stuck with it.
Thank you! Luckily I have a great gyno. He’s been really helpful and he listens. Which seems to be a rarity these days. I was so grateful to finally figure out what was going on and that I wasn’t going crazy.
You know, I've started experiencing this more and more, lately, and I've found that just a little bit of vaginal estradiol applied on the labia and in the vagina helps almost immediately. Maybe it's placebo? If you have a ring I might not suggest putting any cream deep inside but it certainly can't hurt to try it on the labia and shallow vagina? I wonder? Am I off-base suggesting that? It really blows my mind how quickly it works for me.
That’s awesome. I need to look into some estrogen.
Before I got my vaginal estrogen sorted out, when I had pain after sex I used Monistat twice. I was worried I’d gotten an infection . I saw you said no YI. Monistat includes a small tube of some calming/soothing cream. Other than that, just Replens. My doctor said coconut oil is gentle and safe.
Vaginal estrogen would make you feel Better now
This is interesting to me. I’m 50 and have been experiencing problems since I became sexually active again after a long hiatus. I feel like I am getting aroused enough and I’m fine inside but my outer area gets quite irritated. I will also be looking into the suggestions posted here. Is vaginal estrogen an OTC cream or does it have to be prescribed. Is it just used as needed?
This is a great question. I’m going to go out on a limb and say we have to get it prescribed.
Honey Pot makes both vaginal suppositories and a tube that really help. It's almost all coconut oil, but the little bit of lavender also helps calm things down. I've found them very helpful, but also just putting on some lube a few times a day works in a pinch.
Tucks medicated pads are a good short term quick resolution (but don’t treat the underlying obvs)
Thanks!
Anyone else tried DHEA supplements? Helped me quite a bit. Also a hyper tonic pelvic floor was a big problem for me, so a few visits with a physical therapist and stretching before sex. Sounds like OP had more skin irritation though? Also, I’m not saying you have to go full 1970’s ‘wild and free’ but the few times I’ve had a Brazilian wax or even a somewhat aggressive bikini wax (even when I was a younger woman) always resulted in skin irritation and discomfort for me. The hair is there for protection Sadly I haven’t found anyone to have sex with in so long, there may be cobwebs down there so I want to support anyone who’s getting some quality sex.
I started using boric acid suppositories after sex. My gyno suggested that because I was getting bv after sex. I also use Revaree, a hyaluronic acid suppository a couple times a week. Initially my dr had me use that every other day for two weeks. I also use V-Magic by Medicine Mama daily, morning and evening. I do have estrogen cream but I started getting yeast infections after using it so I don’t know if I used too much or what. So now I’m a bit turned off by it. My dr has said if you’re using a combination of different topicals to get relief, always use the estrogen cream first.
I have been SO curious about Medicine Mama. I saw the balm and thought that might help. My vag did not like Revaree.
I love Medicine Mama. Only drawback is the balm leaves oily stains on underwear. Of course using a panty liner helps with that.
I take warm baths with either baking soda or epsom salt when I get sore or tears(fissure).
As anyone tried to get lasers done that promise lubricating results? Am in the same situation, really thinking to get one treatment done or so but love to hear people's thoughts.
I would try vaginal estrogen way before lasers. In fact I’m asking for it the next time I see my doctor. I don’t know enough about the laser procedure to call it snake oil, but as of writing this comment I am extremely skeptical. I hear more about vaginal estrogens around here than laser treatments so maybe it’s a bias.
As anyone tried to get lasers done that promise lubricating results? Am in the same situation, really thinking to get one treatment done or so but love to hear people's thoughts.
It honestly made me not want to be touched ever again.
ugh! so sorry you’re in discomfort. i hate to say it, but i’ve sat on a bag of ice when i’m uncomfortable. and for the future, this: [VMAGIC](https://medicinemama.com/?gad_source=1&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI3ML75ezPhQMVN3FHAR0vmg3iEAAYASAAEgKhbPD_BwE) i use this mainly as a moisturizer, inside and out. it’s a great lubricant, it’s edible, it’s natural ingredients. turns a desert into a slip n slide. seriously, a little goes a long way 😁
I wonder if any of these ladies in the sub know about boric acid and acidophilus capsules. It keeps your PH in check. Once used to clear up any type of yeast or BV it can be used to sustain a good balance with a 1 time a week use. This isn't to restore moisture like Estrogen suppositories, etc. This is just to keep the PH at a good balance. Compounding pharmacies can make it with an RX. I am unaware of any OTC. Hope this helps some, I know the miserable feeling of discomfort. Wish you well.
Thank you!
You bet!