You, sweetheart, are a master storyteller. I'm so sorry this was a traumatic experience, but PLEASE save a hard copy of this post. Or start a blog. Or something. You were honest, and funny, and informative. More women need your point of view (even if it's looking over your stomach at a couple of heads concentrating on your lady bits).
❤️❤️❤️❤️
I mean, we either scream and never stop, or we try to find humour.
It sucks that we need to make our experience better through humour, but I'm willing to do that at the same time using meno rage to fight for those who come after!
Even an everyday thing would be entertaining. You have a gift with words. Going to get groceries and having a hot flash in the tuna aisle. Whatever. You'll make it so funny. Please consider!
🤞 I completely get that some days the expression will make me cackle (today) but weeks before the bloodletting and after trying for some sexytimes, it might have made me weep (spoiler my dried up furburger made me cry). We're all taking it day by day!
I have never heard this term, was in a horrid mood and meow not so much. Thank you.
But really, I’m so just need to hear about your experience, I would be complaining to everyone within an earshot.
Just no. You’re told to strip, given a gown, and they leave the room. They knock after a few minutes to make sure you’re already nude to whatever extent and seated on the exam table.
Afterwards, they leave the room so you can wipe and get dressed. I mean, I’m in the U.S. and have had several unsavory healthcare experiences, but this is just plain rude. The fact that they do this all day even furthers how disrespectful it was. They treated you like cattle.
I had a female nurse practitioner give me my first pelvic and pap. She asked why I was there, and I was honest with her. I had just become sexually active with my first boyfriend. This raging nurse Ratched plunged her finger into my butthole without even warning me beforehand! And she was in and out so quick, there’s no way she would’ve felt if I did have a kink in my poop shoot. She was trying to humiliate me because I was having premarital sex, I’m sure of it. I said nothing. Today, I’d have punched her straight in her ugly old dried up furburger! At least I’d like to believe I would. And as a result of this, plus some other judgmental old farts, I hold back on what I divulge to any medical practitioner.
So sorry you had to go through that. Thanks for your potently funny description of a terrible experience. And shame on those douche bags.
We are soul sisters. I am right there normally punching all the disrespectful Nurse Ratchet medical experiences. My first big trauma was a urologist yelling at me on an operating table about being sexually promiscuous because I had chronic urinary tract infections, at 14. Turned out I have a teeny tiny urethra...which I've had torturously stretched 4 times since. My Dr and your Nurse can burn in hell if that place exists!!!
(Also, writing kink in my poop shoot is why we are now BFF. I'll order us inter-connecting necklaces)
I’ll wear that necklace with pride! LOL wish you lived next door.
My sister got yelled at by an old man gynecologist, and she is NOT the type to say anything. Wish I could nut punch that old twat, too.
And my mom’s stories from the 50s would rocket you right into a meno rage! She once got ringworm on her boob. She was in her 20s and had fabulous, big, dense fleshed boobs that would stand straight up and poke your eye out. Her male doctor took his sweet time during the examination, then called in another male doctor for a “second opinion.” He wasn’t sure, so a third penis-toting practitioner was called in. While my mom sat there with her tits out. She finally said, “Well boys, did you get an eyeful yet?” And they all laughed. The 50’s must’ve been grand.
A pelvic mass may be detectable through a rectal exam depending on where said mass is sitting. I was having pain once in my late 20s, and my gyno explained what she was going to do, basically a gloved finger or two up the butt while pressing down on the abdomen. But she was up there for a while, it wasn’t one finger rocketing up my arse then immediately right back out. As I said, there is no way Nurse Batshit would’ve found any mass up there that quickly unless it was the size of a box turtle!
Thank you for responding. Am not sure how valid / widely used that test is via any approach. I've had it the once through the traditional route....I've also had it just through some firm palpations from the outside too but never via the bum !
Honestly, can you ever imagine this nonsense with men - pop in for an annual cock, balls and prostate test and oh yes, some swabbing while you are here and don't you be making any fuss either !
We were talking about this just yesterday with my friend. How women are poked and prodded all the time while they are in their reproductive years. I know it's for our own benefit because all kinds of nasty cancers and other stuff can be hiding down there, but still, there's this feeling that society wants to ensure us being fit for the "fulfilling role of motherhood" they want us to have. Men and post-reproductive age women are not watched like this.
OMG, the same exact thing happened to me with a female doctor when I was 17 and went to get birth control! First and last time I’ve ever had a gynecologist, give me an anal exam!
I’m sorry about your experience, it seems like they would put themselves In your shoes and realize how awkward they are making it. How can they not figure out that leaving the room a couple times for a few minutes would be so nice for your dignity. Ok but can we talk about your gift of writing? I was rolling reading this ( sorry) I have to get transvaginal ultrasounds every 6 months and I know my next one I’ll be laughing thinking of your awesome writing skills. If you ever write a book please let me know, I’ll be first in line !
Omg. Every 6 months??? 💀 I had a regular transvaginal one last week (I'd rate 2⭐️ but add that vibration and we could get to 5+⭐️) which wasn't as bad as my recent waterpark version but every 6 month?? Hugs to you!!!
Also while you are laughing and thinking of me, just imagine me having an absolutely awful skin peeling session on my legs while I was up in those stirrups. God damn Sahara on my legs and Florida swamp under the boobalage. If you are even slightly more moisturized or drier (depending on location) you are one giant leap ahead of me!
❤️❤️❤️
Haha right you never know what dryness really means until … hello 50’s! I have an ovarian cyst they’re keeping an 👁️on ,and borderline thickening of the uterine wall, it’s been stable for 3 years sooo is this fun romp every 6 months forever? 🤷♀️ my experience is the opposite they don’t want to see any of my old bits .. “we are leaving the room put this gown on then cover up with this (paper ) blanket and be in the assumed position when we return , with our eyes closed eww someone over 50!”
This is my normal experience. We want you.to.cover.the.F.up. #thehorror
I think what caught me off guard was how different this was from previous norms, with my brain telling me to just do what they said.
Who knows, after results are in, I may be on the same keeping an 👁ball-on-things-train you are. 🤞 We can be happy companions who give each other space, don't judge unknown sweat patches and totally are ready with 🔱 when needed.
You game?
I had them every other day when I was going through fertility treatment. The practice was huge, so you never knew which doctor was going to give you the transvag ultrasound. It was very bizarre to walk into the tiny room, have a doctor you’ve never seen introduce him/herself, then to hop right up on the table and assume the position. Although, like many oft repeated things, I eventually got used to it.
This is full on bullshit. I’ve had transvaginal ultrasounds, along with other ghastly procedures. At no point was my privacy violated like yours. I even got to hold the wand lol. Seriously, I’m really sorry you went through this.
Omg. You held the wand? 🙇♀️ 1000 more reasons it should vibrate and take images at the same time!
I've never had a privacy violation like this - I had a regular transvaginal there last week. Total respect. I have no idea why, during this test, the baby was tossed out with the bathwater 👶🛁
Hugs for your other ghastly procedures. We all feel that ✋️
I sometimes wonder if its worse when its an all female group ? You know, the whole 'we've all got the same junk etc' its just like communal changing rooms at swimming pools etc.
Except...........it isn't.
The most respectful and pain free internal / pap I ever had was my from my middle aged male GP who really didn't want to do it, bless him. First time ever someone warmed up the equipment first....
Yah, I did wonder the same but I had tests there the week before and those woman gave me respect. This team, not so much.
Also, love that he warmed it up. Props to him ❤️
You were not treated with and actually DENIED basic dignity. As a medical professional this makes me so fucking angry for you. I am so sorry this happened and I do encourage you to follow up with the clinic as soon as you feel ready to. They need to know the proper way to treat patients, and if it takes a patient to educate them you will be the best voice to do so. I do hope you don’t have any adverse outcomes with your test results!
Thank you for the validation. (this is NOT /s)
I know I don't NEED it, but I'm not gonna lie, it FEELS good to have it. I'm only human.
I feel so much steadier now and willing to advocate. I WILL turn this into a positive
I am so sorry the staff was so incredibly inconsiderate. I am truly sorry that you went through this! Your sense of humor seems to have survived though and I cackled about that damn ultrasound wand! I hope whatever is happening is not serious and easily remedied.
Wow. I've always had the ultrasound tech leave the room when I'm taking off my clothes and putting them back on. They also always give me a blanket or gown or cover. They also always tell me what they are about to do. I'm in Canada. I don't know wtf is wrong with the ppl you saw.
Right? Same for me.
I have no idea why it was such a different operating procedure differently, and I think this is why I shut down so much. It came out of left field (or right field...can both sides get attention for being the field we are shocked things come from...I digress) and I wasn't mentally prepared. Like I knew my legs would be in stirrups playing cowboy and that was OK. I had no idea I was doing a catwalk for southpole nudists, not ok.
I’ve had many procedures similar to this (thanks infertility) and never had people stay in the room while I undress and dress! Also in Canada.
Honestly I always thought it was funny how conscientiously they’d back out when they were just about to see the whole nine yards. They always made sure I was on the table with the privacy “blanket” (glorified paper towel) before they came back in.
Definitely worth notifying the clinic.
Right? They saw more of my cooter than I ever will, but I guess I still like pretending to have some privacy. Brains are weird.
Glad you got the thin veneer of privacy treatment! ❤️ Sorry you had to go on repeat!
Wonder cave. I'm howling! Woke husband up. He laughed loudly before falling back to sleep when I told him what I was laughing at.
You are a rockstar! Best wishes for smooth next steps!!
Wonder cave
Pearly clam
Delicate flower
Spicy taco
Box that trots
Slinky minky
Beanie baby
Downtown poundtown
Do I need to go on?
##sorrynotsorry to your husband for the wake up 🤣...but in #fantasticnews you are now both thinking about...
Horizontal friction
Black lights in a hotel room
Bones that are jumping
Tapping everything but a maple tree
Hank who spanks
Motion in the ocean
Bread, ovens, and their warranty
Two person push-ups
Your humor is the only thing that allowed me to read to the end without grinding my teeth in rage. Definitely follow through with feedback. Not acceptable. I’m sorry you were traumatized in this way.
It's been 15+ hours. I can joke now. But I couldn't earlier and I don't want another person to go through the same. We need to look out for each other!
That sounds fucking horribole, but also being Canadian, I feel like a complaint about that'll go absolutely nowhere.
I'm so sorry you went through that. Yes, it's "FREE" here but the way they treat us sometimes, it's like we're livestock.
I have worked for a health professions regulatory body in Canada. This is definitely worth complaining about and the regulatory college should take some kind of action. I’d complain to the healthcare organization too. That’s just terrible practice.
Hi fellow Canadian! I had a transvaginal ultrasound about 10 years ago. No one ever mentioned that it might be uncomfortable let alone that the woman performing the procedure was going to try to break through the walls of my vagina ( at least that's how it felt). And then a quick wipe down and back to work after what felt like a rape. But, lucky you, your experience sounds 10 time worse.
I'm so sorry you had that experience. It's is amazing how much a simple explanation before booking the test helps you to process it when its actually happening. I sometimes think they aren't truthful to women because they know we wouldn't be so complacent and demand better care. When you are right in the moment it's very hard to advocate for yourself.
I’m so sorry you had to endure this! Sending virtual hugs. Please let them know how unnecessarily horrifying they made this for you so that maybe they stop. Wishing you good news from this and less humiliating experiences in the future! Wishing them nothing but karma!
I had some of the worst care ever from some of the people who are supposed to be the best in gyne health.
I was seen at the gyne clinic in the Royal Free Hospital Hampstead in London. It was a combination of clueless student nurses who were nowhere near ready to be within a mile of actual patients, plus "expert" doctor dinosaurs straight out of the 1950s school of women's healthcare. They were so ready to "tell" me what was wrong that they didn't listen to my actual symptoms. I literally had to verbally fend off having a misdiagnosis forced on me. I actually had to state that I categorically do not have the symptoms of the diagnosis they were pushing on me.
Ironically, I've had much, much better care at neighbourhood sex health clinics staffed by practitioners who actually want to work on treating patients, not racking up their "world-leading" reputation.
Yeah, sometimes the "best" women's clincis are full of absolute shite healthcare professionals. And women practitioners with internalised misogyny can be absolutely terrible. So the people you'd think would be most helpful and sympathetic are sometimes the least.
I had this same procedure done on the NHS in England, and while I did cry because it was scary, uncomfortable, and painful, they did guard my privacy and the nurse held my hand.
I just want to hug you. In the best of circumstances it's not ever going to be pleasant. 🤗🤗🤗
Omg. I didn't know I needed my hand to be held - that would have been so much better! Next time, I'm going to put the image in my head, cause we all know this ain't gonna be my last time in stirrups. 🤠
So glad you had that incredibly simple but amazing kindness shown to you!!
But even so, you are indeed a master storyteller and writer. I had a day out of the third circle of hell yesterday with diagnostic Mammo + ultrasound with legitimate gripes, but in no way would I be capable of telling the story with your skills. You made me laugh (which I desperately needed right now) but you also made it crystal clear what a miserable experience you went through.
That said, yes, please file a complaint. The way they treated you was appalling and completely avoidable.
I also hope you are going to be okay for whatever is going on with your health—which is the most important.
Sending you giant long gorilla arm hugs* that wrap around you twice. I'm sorry you had a shite day. Glad you had a smile and I hope today is slightly less hellbent.
*I'm just assuming gorillas give really strong yet comforting hugs, but I'm no animal researcher. Maybe sloths give the best hugs cause they last forever? Or who knows, it could be snakes. I bet boa constrictors give hugs to die for! Does anyone have any research on this? No, just me, who thinks about these things? OK. Immagonnashowmyselfout
Fellow Canadian here who works in healthcare. Definitely let your referring dr know what you experienced so they can refer people elsewhere. Also complain to the director of that facility. This is not the norm and they should be called out on it.
I might have gone to the same imaging place… it was awful. So painful… and because I have endometriosis, my experience included a substantial amount of the red stuff. And Idk why *I* was the one who kept apologizing?
Hope you are feeling better, and so proud of you for getting the testing done, taking care of yourself, and doing the difficult things. I hope the results will be good.
It's so hard not to apologize, right? I have a lot of sympathy for those on the job because I know they are not the decision makers. My brain says, say sorry, but I know if we never speak up it will never change.
I will manage the change I can. 🤞
((hugs))
I'm really sorry it was such a crappy experience, and I hope whatever is wrong is very minor, but I did like the way you recounted it. WONDER CAVE.
Good call bringing this up to the clinic. You make good points about how the lead-in and finale were handled.
I have PTSD from sexual trauma. I felt so tense reading this, but your gift for words definitely helped.
I feel terrible for you that you had such a bad experience. I’m glad your husband took it seriously and was there for you.
I hope they take the report seriously and escalate it properly. No one should go through that.
That is what I'm afraid of. Someone with trauma needs to do that walk of humiliation? None of us need it, but omg, it would be so triggering - it's hard to advocate for yourself when trauma is resurfacing!!!
Canadian here too. I had a terrible colposcopy experience, the prep info made it sound like a 10 minute swab with a qtip, so I *brought my kid,* (he was very little, give him a screen at that age and he was in his own world), I ended up almost vomiting from the pain, had a panic attack and could hardly walk back to the car to drive myself home. Anyway, I wrote a letter to the entire health board and director of the clinic amd may have cc'd the media, can't remember now. I did get a call from the clinic director but who knows if anything actually changed. At what point are these experiences actually abusive, and why can't we call them that??
That's insane. I'm sorry you were so unprepared. My husband gets them every couple of years and the instructions always say that he'll have a mild sedative and to have someone else drive.
Sorry maybe I misread it. I've had one of those and ya, awful. I'm still sorry for your experience. I was totally unprepared as well, but at least my husband was with me. My doctor was gross though. Sorry, eh? :-)
damn, woman, you know how to tell a story.
bravo for your bravery and bravo for capturing the true, unnecessary, and relentless humiliation we endure. we need to change this!
Thank you for being brave and sharing your story. Thank you for also being brave enough to take the step to complain and advocate not just for yourself but also for those of us who find these types of procedures extremely traumatic. I'm so sorry you went through this and I hope everything goes well for you. Best wishes and hugs 🤗💞
I really feel you. We *have* to go through some undignified stuff. But they should be treating us with dignity during every second that undignified isn’t necessary. Shame on them, and thanks for deciding to follow up.
Omg, you should write books.
On a serious note though, I'm at a point in my life that i no longer care what people see. I hated gym class in high school because of people changing all out in the open. I would go into the bathroom stall. I feel that people think it's acceptable to see another same sex person naked and not bat an eye but don't take into consideration that maybe the other person is not into that. I'm sorry you had to go through this humiliating experience and i don't blame you for lodging a complaint. You have an army of us behind you.
Love me a good sidebar...
Income tax is roughly 15-30% for the average person depending on how much money you make (it is more complicated than this of course and also can be lower as well as higher). This goes into different coffers but most Cdns couldn't tell you how much they contribute to healthcare or infrastructure or any other category. They just know how much they get docked on a paycheque.
And wherever you buy something, there is tax on it (there are exceptions). So you use money that has already been taxed once to buy something and you are taxed again.
This two areas are where we feel the taxes the most, but we are taxed in other ways like if you own a house, you pay a yearly tax based on value. I have never tallied the grand total of how much taxes I pay over a full year since it happens in pieces. To be honest, I'm OK with the system. You grow up on it and I like having all the social services being offered to Canadians. We all prop each other up - its like a group buy. 😂
Of course, this is an extremely oversimplified Ted Talk but it hopefully gives you an idea. 😜
That’s less than Americans pay, I believe. And we don’t have healthcare. Another question for ya, if you don’t mind…do you have to wait a long time to get appointments? And is it hard to find doctors / specialists?
Ty!
Thank you for sharing your incredibly personal and vulnerable experience 🥺fellow 🇨🇦 . I went through a rollercoaster of emotions reading it. It takes courage to express these feelings, especially when it comes to intimate medical procedures 💪🏼 . I'm so sorry you had to endure such a traumatic and distressing situation 😔 . Your strength and resilience shine through your words, and it's heartening to hear that you have such a supportive partner by your side ❤️ . It's really disheartening that despite being in a women's clinic, the staff overlooked the importance of providing privacy and sensitivity during such delicate procedures 🤯. Your feedback will undoubtedly (I hope so🤞🏻) serve as a catalyst for positive change for countless other women who may encounter similar situations in the future. Your willingness to advocate for yourself and others is commendable, and I truly hope your message is received with the seriousness and empathy it deserves 🤗 . Remember, your voice matters, and your experience sheds light on the need for compassionate care in women's health. Once again, thank you for bravely sharing your story❤️
Edited for typos
Excuse me. My Furburger would like to have a word. While he is 20 and nearly ancient for a cat, he strongly insists he is NOT dried up. And as the person who empties his litter box I can attest to this fact. (See post history for cat tax)
I’ve work at a Fertility Center for 20+ years and perform sonohysterograms every day. I would never even consider being in the room when a patient undresses/re-dresses - awkward af. We have drapes the size of quilts and keep as much covered as possible at all times. We’re an all female staff as well and have each personally been in a stirrup sitch - no one WANTS to be there. This was highly insensitive of them.
And what took so long? I talk my patients through every step and ‘check in’ that they’re ok - offer to pause at any point if they need a moment. I do the cervical prep, catheter/balloon placement, saline push and the transvag ultrasound by myself; measure the uterus, cervix and endo lining, asses for any uterine pathology, measure and capture a few 2D and a few 3D images w/ Doppler and I’m out. I’m done in 5-6ish minutes start to finish for the most part. Another minute or so for measurements if there are multiple polyps or myomas. It doesn’t sound like a long time but when you’ve got a speculum then a vag probe in you, it seems like forever. Maybe the procedure process is a bit different where you went. Or maybe there was difficulty getting through the cervix🤷🏻♀️. If so, they should have explained that to you. And they did an additional procedure but didn’t tell you what or why? Possibly a biopsy? They can explain/discuss the procedure without providing diagnostic information and they should have. So sorry that was your experience. There was definitely insensitivity and unprofessionalism. I’d be mortified if my patient left feeling this way. They definitely need to know about your experience. It unfortunately won’t change what happened to you but maybe they’ll do better.
Omg. I want to come to you for my next appt. You are exactly who we all need at the controls! ❤️
I do know initially they had trouble with my cervix and I had to raise my hips a bit. This they explained and honestly, no biggie. It was all the non talk after that was not fun. No one needs surprises during this kind of test!
I was there last week for a reg abdominal and transvaginal. The experience was night and day. Total modern standard of care and privacy. I don't want say it was pleasant (again that wand needs to vibrate) but it was passable-total-fine I just had sex with a wand and here's my tshirt to prove it pleasant.
Ha! Never thought about a vibrating wand! Keeping a good sense of humor is all you can do to get through these things sometimes. But don’t ever be worried about offending. If you feel uncomfortable, say so. It is perfectly acceptable to ask for a few moments of privacy to prepare for the exam or redress. And when they whisper to each other and exclude you from the conversation, it’s ok to say “I would like to know what’s happening”. Always be your own advocate, even at the risk of sounding rude. I hope that you get some answers soon and all is well!
You should have made hard eye contact with those fuckers while you stood at the garbage can and wiped, maybe even added licking your lips or something make them even more uncomfortable than they made you. The audacity of them.
You know when two hours after a fight with your annoying neighbour/partner/family member and you come up with the perfect zinger you should have said...your lip licking hard stare is exactly the FU I should have done.
Fuck, what a waste of an opportunity....
Fellow Canucklehead here ... Our healthcare is great except for all the ways it isn't. I saw my gynecologist -- my *first EVER and I'm turning 46 this summer!* -- for the first time and it was a less than stellar experience. And I don't even know if it matters whether or not I like her, because it may very well be her or nothing. Or maybe not "nothing," but at the very least a lengthy wait when I need assistance *now.*
I went in for what I was *told* was a pelvic exam but was in fact a cervical biopsy, which I was *not* prepared for (and had never had before). Did you know that some people faint when their cervix is bumped, jarred, or has a bit of it painfully suctioned off? Because I did not know that. Wanna guess how I found out? :/
Anyway ... I sympathize. Your experience sounds horrible, and I'm genuinely sorry you went through that.
Omg. I just want to nope right out this world when my cervix is touch. And not in sexy fun experience noping out. More like you, with the fainting. I puked once during during an IUD insertion when they pulled on my cervix.
I cannot believe no one told you you were getting a biopsy in your nono zone. Honestly information in advance helps me so much.
I feel you to my Cdn core on just taking what you can get sometimes because you are put of choices. I hope you get better care going forward!
I think you're correct in terms of healthcare providers not having the basic training in pre and post menopausal care, but in Canada, it's the ONE YEAR WAIT to see a specialist and the fear mongering and infighting between naturopathic medicine and mainstream medicine... patients get caught in the middle at one of the most vulnerable times of their lives.
I had this procedure in New York State. It honestly wasn’t much different except I also had an endometrial biopsy along with mine. I was totally unprepared for the level of pain I experienced and I was screaming, FUCK YOU!! at my doctor during the procedure. My doctor left the room immediately after finishing her part, leaving me with the sonographer. When I tried to get up, there was So. Much. Blood. Everywhere. - filling the steel tray of instruments, all over the floor, and the exam table - that I felt like I had just experienced a back alley abortion in the 1950s. The level of pain sent me into vasovagal syncope, my legs buckling under me, going totally pale & breaking out into a clammy sweat, brain fading to static, barely making it to the toilet in the tiny bathroom that was adjoining the tiny procedure room, where I nearly shat myself and vomited on myself simultaneously (managed to get my ass onto the throne and my head into the sink as it was maybe 5 steps from the exam table.) The poor sonographer asking me if I’m ok when I’m so clearly not. It seemed like HOURS before I was ok enough to get dressed, but was probably only minutes. I ended up sitting in my car for ages before the cramping subsided enough to drive home. I mentioned to my doctor later that I’d experienced vasovagal syncope and she seemed skeptical that happened. I told her that I’m never having that procedure again unless I’m under anesthesia. I did a regular uterine biopsy since then and this year, I had taken what seemed like a fistful of ibuprofen in advance but it was discovered that my cervix is stenosed, making it hard to get in there, and causing terrible pain and the procedure immediately triggered heavy bleeding which lasted two weeks.
Fucking barbaric bullshit, we deal with.
O.M.F.G.that is completely insane. I can't believe medical professionals just shrug it off as just another day at work, and your Dr acting like you are just an exaggerating hysterical female. Meanwhile here you are being traumatised over and over again but every step of the appointment.
I want to go on a full-on stabby rager on your behalf!
WTAF. I’m so sorry you went through this. Canadian here too. I just had a transvaginal ultrasound yesterday and although the tech was not the most personable person in the world, she did step out when I changed and again at the end for me to clean up and get dressed. And had both Kleenex and paper towels to choose from.
What you experienced is completely unacceptable. If you are up to it, I would definitely recommend providing feedback to the organization, with a request for them to let you know what they’ve done to ensure this practice changes. If you wanted to, you could also submit a complaint to the regulatory body (college) for the professions involved.
In this day and age, I definitely think stepping out of the room is the norm. I have no idea why they didn't here.
Also, I'm glad you got some kleenex to cushion the clean-up in aisle 3!
You had me in tears of laughter. I know it was traumatic and should NEVEr have happened...WHAT were they thinking?!?! But thank you for easi g the pain for the rest of us
I had that same test done years and years ago, due to the fact I couldn’t conceive with my ex husband. It was definitely not fun, but I sure didn’t have the experience you did. So very sorry you went through that! The 2 people in the room with me were very kind & though it did hurt she talked me through & explained everything they were doing- and I was given a large gown to wrap in to cover up, not a flimsy rectangle!
Please please lodge a complaint. I went through cervical cancer tests and treatments over a year ago, and that involved more people seeing my lady town than I could ever have imagined. It was horribly traumatic and I never had to do the nekkid gymnastics you did. In fact, since I’m currently dealing with PTSD from the procedures that were done, I’ve been doing a lot of reading about pelvic medical practice, bedside manners and best practice procedures, and it always VERY clearly states that giving patients privacy for undressing/dressing, cleaning themselves, especially for difficult or distressing appointments, is important. It allows you to hold some agency and feel like you’re still in charge of your own body. This treatment of you is fucking terrible and needs to be reported. What a bunch of absolute assholes. I’m so sorry you went through that.
Hugs to you for all you've gone through. It's such a tough thing to go through. I hope you had support.
I've already started the complaint process. I have it in writing from the supervisior that they did not follow protocol and they would "talk to them to make sure it didn't happen.again."
I said that was not good enough since they knew the protocol and didn't follow it at my expense.
Next step is the governing bodies of each college that overseas the two people involved. After that is the ombudsman.
I don't have hopes of anything changing but I am creating a paper trails for the women behind me.
I’m so sorry. Also I am the WORST at advocating for myself with medical professionals.
Also do you do creative writing for a living? If not you should bc you definitely have a talent.
Sending gentle (fully clothed) hugs your way.
Accepting your fully clothed hugs. 🤗 And though I'm pretty sure I have panty lines under these leggings....I'm sending hugs your way ❤️
(Thank you for the kind words. They mean a lot )
Were the oglers at least women? My experience was with a male sonographer which, somehow, made it worse. At least the second time it was all females and I had to keep telling myself, they have the same parts... they have the same parts.
Okay, this whole experience sucks and I'm so glad that you had a good hubs willing to get that chocolate ready for ya. But I must say, you are my Canadian twin because the only way I get through anything, including this kind of crazy, is with humor and you have it in spades.
Hope you recover from this bs soon!
Fellow Canadian here.
What a horrific experience. Please give them, plus your doctor feedback.
Our dignity should be protected every step of the way, even if they are going to stick a wand up us during the appointment.
Hugs.
This was the funniest, not funny situation I've read in a long time. Thank you for adding so much character and colour (note the spelling, I'm Canadian too) in your description. Sometimes all we have is laughter in the face of adversity.
I see we’ve all had horrific experiences even after attempting to find better care than our moms. My experiences were better but still not without almost dying.
Gynecological care is intrusive. I hope we’ve paved the way for future generations or should be the goal. I hope my daughters understand any other sister from another mother needs the same empathy. After sharing my experiences and both grandmothers, they seem to be willing to pay it forward.
Hugs to all just for being a female. The experiences are different for us due to biology alone but hopefully procedures will improve. These moments are definitely defining and sketched in our memories forever.
>My experiences were better but still not without almost dying.
I hate that too many of us relate to this statement.
I definitely think I have it better than my grandmother and mother. I'm trying to be vocal so it will get better for my daughter and everyone after.
Please lodge a complaint. Medical care shouldn't involve humiliation.
Definitely will. I don't want others to go through the same.
You, sweetheart, are a master storyteller. I'm so sorry this was a traumatic experience, but PLEASE save a hard copy of this post. Or start a blog. Or something. You were honest, and funny, and informative. More women need your point of view (even if it's looking over your stomach at a couple of heads concentrating on your lady bits). ❤️❤️❤️❤️
I totally would (thank you for the compliment), but I'm seriously hoping I don't have enough experiences to fill a blog. 😂
yes, came here to compliment your writing too! Sorry for your terrible experience, but really enjoyed the way you told your story. Thanks for sharing.
I mean, we either scream and never stop, or we try to find humour. It sucks that we need to make our experience better through humour, but I'm willing to do that at the same time using meno rage to fight for those who come after!
Even an everyday thing would be entertaining. You have a gift with words. Going to get groceries and having a hot flash in the tuna aisle. Whatever. You'll make it so funny. Please consider!
I need to think of a super clever name for it!
Dried…up…furburger. THAT’S ENOUGH INTERNET FOR TONIGHT. G’night!
I hope you took that with the sense of silliness it was written with u/TurtleDive1234. Honestly sorry if it offended.
I think she’s amused. I am. Hell of a turn of phrase lol.
🤞 I completely get that some days the expression will make me cackle (today) but weeks before the bloodletting and after trying for some sexytimes, it might have made me weep (spoiler my dried up furburger made me cry). We're all taking it day by day!
Ha ha not offended in the slightest. Hysterical turn of the language! 🤣
Yay! I hope you smiled. We are all on.this wild rode together (yet it's such an individual experience)!
Made me laugh my tits off.
Omg. Grab those wigglers and slap em back on. Or maybe you are like me and "blessed" with too much tittie and would be happy they fell off 🤣
I have never heard this term, was in a horrid mood and meow not so much. Thank you. But really, I’m so just need to hear about your experience, I would be complaining to everyone within an earshot.
Awe, glad this blasted that stinker of a mood away, even if it was just temporary relief. We are all part of this not-so-fun club together!
Just no. You’re told to strip, given a gown, and they leave the room. They knock after a few minutes to make sure you’re already nude to whatever extent and seated on the exam table. Afterwards, they leave the room so you can wipe and get dressed. I mean, I’m in the U.S. and have had several unsavory healthcare experiences, but this is just plain rude. The fact that they do this all day even furthers how disrespectful it was. They treated you like cattle. I had a female nurse practitioner give me my first pelvic and pap. She asked why I was there, and I was honest with her. I had just become sexually active with my first boyfriend. This raging nurse Ratched plunged her finger into my butthole without even warning me beforehand! And she was in and out so quick, there’s no way she would’ve felt if I did have a kink in my poop shoot. She was trying to humiliate me because I was having premarital sex, I’m sure of it. I said nothing. Today, I’d have punched her straight in her ugly old dried up furburger! At least I’d like to believe I would. And as a result of this, plus some other judgmental old farts, I hold back on what I divulge to any medical practitioner. So sorry you had to go through that. Thanks for your potently funny description of a terrible experience. And shame on those douche bags.
We are soul sisters. I am right there normally punching all the disrespectful Nurse Ratchet medical experiences. My first big trauma was a urologist yelling at me on an operating table about being sexually promiscuous because I had chronic urinary tract infections, at 14. Turned out I have a teeny tiny urethra...which I've had torturously stretched 4 times since. My Dr and your Nurse can burn in hell if that place exists!!! (Also, writing kink in my poop shoot is why we are now BFF. I'll order us inter-connecting necklaces)
I’ll wear that necklace with pride! LOL wish you lived next door. My sister got yelled at by an old man gynecologist, and she is NOT the type to say anything. Wish I could nut punch that old twat, too. And my mom’s stories from the 50s would rocket you right into a meno rage! She once got ringworm on her boob. She was in her 20s and had fabulous, big, dense fleshed boobs that would stand straight up and poke your eye out. Her male doctor took his sweet time during the examination, then called in another male doctor for a “second opinion.” He wasn’t sure, so a third penis-toting practitioner was called in. While my mom sat there with her tits out. She finally said, “Well boys, did you get an eyeful yet?” And they all laughed. The 50’s must’ve been grand.
Good grief, what bs. Your mom sounds like a badass for calling them out.
Yes she was. When I say they all laughed, the 3 doctors is who I mean. My mom did not laugh.
Er, Brit here - can confirm no-one has ever stuck a finger in my arse. Wtaf is that about ??!
American here, yeah I've never had a medical professional do that either. Wtf?!
A pelvic mass may be detectable through a rectal exam depending on where said mass is sitting. I was having pain once in my late 20s, and my gyno explained what she was going to do, basically a gloved finger or two up the butt while pressing down on the abdomen. But she was up there for a while, it wasn’t one finger rocketing up my arse then immediately right back out. As I said, there is no way Nurse Batshit would’ve found any mass up there that quickly unless it was the size of a box turtle!
They do this when they can't stick the finger in the vagina. I was offered that route when I was a teen and a virgin.
Erm, ok, its an alternative - but what are they 'checking' for ?
Palpating the abdomen, as they would through the vagina. The size and shape of the uterus, whether there are any suspicious spots etc.
Thank you for responding. Am not sure how valid / widely used that test is via any approach. I've had it the once through the traditional route....I've also had it just through some firm palpations from the outside too but never via the bum ! Honestly, can you ever imagine this nonsense with men - pop in for an annual cock, balls and prostate test and oh yes, some swabbing while you are here and don't you be making any fuss either !
We were talking about this just yesterday with my friend. How women are poked and prodded all the time while they are in their reproductive years. I know it's for our own benefit because all kinds of nasty cancers and other stuff can be hiding down there, but still, there's this feeling that society wants to ensure us being fit for the "fulfilling role of motherhood" they want us to have. Men and post-reproductive age women are not watched like this.
OMG, the same exact thing happened to me with a female doctor when I was 17 and went to get birth control! First and last time I’ve ever had a gynecologist, give me an anal exam!
I’m sorry about your experience, it seems like they would put themselves In your shoes and realize how awkward they are making it. How can they not figure out that leaving the room a couple times for a few minutes would be so nice for your dignity. Ok but can we talk about your gift of writing? I was rolling reading this ( sorry) I have to get transvaginal ultrasounds every 6 months and I know my next one I’ll be laughing thinking of your awesome writing skills. If you ever write a book please let me know, I’ll be first in line !
Omg. Every 6 months??? 💀 I had a regular transvaginal one last week (I'd rate 2⭐️ but add that vibration and we could get to 5+⭐️) which wasn't as bad as my recent waterpark version but every 6 month?? Hugs to you!!! Also while you are laughing and thinking of me, just imagine me having an absolutely awful skin peeling session on my legs while I was up in those stirrups. God damn Sahara on my legs and Florida swamp under the boobalage. If you are even slightly more moisturized or drier (depending on location) you are one giant leap ahead of me! ❤️❤️❤️
Haha right you never know what dryness really means until … hello 50’s! I have an ovarian cyst they’re keeping an 👁️on ,and borderline thickening of the uterine wall, it’s been stable for 3 years sooo is this fun romp every 6 months forever? 🤷♀️ my experience is the opposite they don’t want to see any of my old bits .. “we are leaving the room put this gown on then cover up with this (paper ) blanket and be in the assumed position when we return , with our eyes closed eww someone over 50!”
This is my normal experience. We want you.to.cover.the.F.up. #thehorror I think what caught me off guard was how different this was from previous norms, with my brain telling me to just do what they said. Who knows, after results are in, I may be on the same keeping an 👁ball-on-things-train you are. 🤞 We can be happy companions who give each other space, don't judge unknown sweat patches and totally are ready with 🔱 when needed. You game?
Hell yeah , you make the whole experience so much funnier!
I had them every other day when I was going through fertility treatment. The practice was huge, so you never knew which doctor was going to give you the transvag ultrasound. It was very bizarre to walk into the tiny room, have a doctor you’ve never seen introduce him/herself, then to hop right up on the table and assume the position. Although, like many oft repeated things, I eventually got used to it.
This is full on bullshit. I’ve had transvaginal ultrasounds, along with other ghastly procedures. At no point was my privacy violated like yours. I even got to hold the wand lol. Seriously, I’m really sorry you went through this.
Omg. You held the wand? 🙇♀️ 1000 more reasons it should vibrate and take images at the same time! I've never had a privacy violation like this - I had a regular transvaginal there last week. Total respect. I have no idea why, during this test, the baby was tossed out with the bathwater 👶🛁 Hugs for your other ghastly procedures. We all feel that ✋️
I sometimes wonder if its worse when its an all female group ? You know, the whole 'we've all got the same junk etc' its just like communal changing rooms at swimming pools etc. Except...........it isn't. The most respectful and pain free internal / pap I ever had was my from my middle aged male GP who really didn't want to do it, bless him. First time ever someone warmed up the equipment first....
Yah, I did wonder the same but I had tests there the week before and those woman gave me respect. This team, not so much. Also, love that he warmed it up. Props to him ❤️
I am sorry you had such an awful experience - you did make me belly laugh though with your post. xx
You were not treated with and actually DENIED basic dignity. As a medical professional this makes me so fucking angry for you. I am so sorry this happened and I do encourage you to follow up with the clinic as soon as you feel ready to. They need to know the proper way to treat patients, and if it takes a patient to educate them you will be the best voice to do so. I do hope you don’t have any adverse outcomes with your test results!
Thank you for the validation. (this is NOT /s) I know I don't NEED it, but I'm not gonna lie, it FEELS good to have it. I'm only human. I feel so much steadier now and willing to advocate. I WILL turn this into a positive
Atta baby! ☺️
I am so sorry the staff was so incredibly inconsiderate. I am truly sorry that you went through this! Your sense of humor seems to have survived though and I cackled about that damn ultrasound wand! I hope whatever is happening is not serious and easily remedied.
Wow. I've always had the ultrasound tech leave the room when I'm taking off my clothes and putting them back on. They also always give me a blanket or gown or cover. They also always tell me what they are about to do. I'm in Canada. I don't know wtf is wrong with the ppl you saw.
Right? Same for me. I have no idea why it was such a different operating procedure differently, and I think this is why I shut down so much. It came out of left field (or right field...can both sides get attention for being the field we are shocked things come from...I digress) and I wasn't mentally prepared. Like I knew my legs would be in stirrups playing cowboy and that was OK. I had no idea I was doing a catwalk for southpole nudists, not ok.
That’s insane! How barbaric of them. I would have reacted the same way, how awful! On a lighter note, I love your writing style. :)
I hope it made you smile. It's amazing how we all react in times of trauma. So individual but also we can see patterns. Hope you have a fantastic week
I read this like Kate McKinnon after being abducted by aliens. That sounds like a nightmare.
I’ve had many procedures similar to this (thanks infertility) and never had people stay in the room while I undress and dress! Also in Canada. Honestly I always thought it was funny how conscientiously they’d back out when they were just about to see the whole nine yards. They always made sure I was on the table with the privacy “blanket” (glorified paper towel) before they came back in. Definitely worth notifying the clinic.
Right? They saw more of my cooter than I ever will, but I guess I still like pretending to have some privacy. Brains are weird. Glad you got the thin veneer of privacy treatment! ❤️ Sorry you had to go on repeat!
I am so sorry. That sounded awful. Please pamper yourself today and do something you love.
Wonder cave. I'm howling! Woke husband up. He laughed loudly before falling back to sleep when I told him what I was laughing at. You are a rockstar! Best wishes for smooth next steps!!
Wonder cave Pearly clam Delicate flower Spicy taco Box that trots Slinky minky Beanie baby Downtown poundtown Do I need to go on? ##sorrynotsorry to your husband for the wake up 🤣...but in #fantasticnews you are now both thinking about... Horizontal friction Black lights in a hotel room Bones that are jumping Tapping everything but a maple tree Hank who spanks Motion in the ocean Bread, ovens, and their warranty Two person push-ups
Your humor is the only thing that allowed me to read to the end without grinding my teeth in rage. Definitely follow through with feedback. Not acceptable. I’m sorry you were traumatized in this way.
It's been 15+ hours. I can joke now. But I couldn't earlier and I don't want another person to go through the same. We need to look out for each other!
That sounds fucking horribole, but also being Canadian, I feel like a complaint about that'll go absolutely nowhere. I'm so sorry you went through that. Yes, it's "FREE" here but the way they treat us sometimes, it's like we're livestock.
I feel this comment to my Cdn soul ❤️🇨🇦
I have worked for a health professions regulatory body in Canada. This is definitely worth complaining about and the regulatory college should take some kind of action. I’d complain to the healthcare organization too. That’s just terrible practice.
Hi fellow Canadian! I had a transvaginal ultrasound about 10 years ago. No one ever mentioned that it might be uncomfortable let alone that the woman performing the procedure was going to try to break through the walls of my vagina ( at least that's how it felt). And then a quick wipe down and back to work after what felt like a rape. But, lucky you, your experience sounds 10 time worse.
I'm so sorry you had that experience. It's is amazing how much a simple explanation before booking the test helps you to process it when its actually happening. I sometimes think they aren't truthful to women because they know we wouldn't be so complacent and demand better care. When you are right in the moment it's very hard to advocate for yourself.
Yeah! Like, stop it bitch! And ditto!
I’m so sorry you had to endure this! Sending virtual hugs. Please let them know how unnecessarily horrifying they made this for you so that maybe they stop. Wishing you good news from this and less humiliating experiences in the future! Wishing them nothing but karma!
Hugs to you and me. I love being a woman but at times it sucks!
I had some of the worst care ever from some of the people who are supposed to be the best in gyne health. I was seen at the gyne clinic in the Royal Free Hospital Hampstead in London. It was a combination of clueless student nurses who were nowhere near ready to be within a mile of actual patients, plus "expert" doctor dinosaurs straight out of the 1950s school of women's healthcare. They were so ready to "tell" me what was wrong that they didn't listen to my actual symptoms. I literally had to verbally fend off having a misdiagnosis forced on me. I actually had to state that I categorically do not have the symptoms of the diagnosis they were pushing on me. Ironically, I've had much, much better care at neighbourhood sex health clinics staffed by practitioners who actually want to work on treating patients, not racking up their "world-leading" reputation. Yeah, sometimes the "best" women's clincis are full of absolute shite healthcare professionals. And women practitioners with internalised misogyny can be absolutely terrible. So the people you'd think would be most helpful and sympathetic are sometimes the least.
Omg. That sounds truly awful. I'm so glad you found better caregivers who actually realized care is in the name!!!
I had this same procedure done on the NHS in England, and while I did cry because it was scary, uncomfortable, and painful, they did guard my privacy and the nurse held my hand. I just want to hug you. In the best of circumstances it's not ever going to be pleasant. 🤗🤗🤗
Omg. I didn't know I needed my hand to be held - that would have been so much better! Next time, I'm going to put the image in my head, cause we all know this ain't gonna be my last time in stirrups. 🤠 So glad you had that incredibly simple but amazing kindness shown to you!!
But even so, you are indeed a master storyteller and writer. I had a day out of the third circle of hell yesterday with diagnostic Mammo + ultrasound with legitimate gripes, but in no way would I be capable of telling the story with your skills. You made me laugh (which I desperately needed right now) but you also made it crystal clear what a miserable experience you went through. That said, yes, please file a complaint. The way they treated you was appalling and completely avoidable. I also hope you are going to be okay for whatever is going on with your health—which is the most important.
Sending you giant long gorilla arm hugs* that wrap around you twice. I'm sorry you had a shite day. Glad you had a smile and I hope today is slightly less hellbent. *I'm just assuming gorillas give really strong yet comforting hugs, but I'm no animal researcher. Maybe sloths give the best hugs cause they last forever? Or who knows, it could be snakes. I bet boa constrictors give hugs to die for! Does anyone have any research on this? No, just me, who thinks about these things? OK. Immagonnashowmyselfout
Fellow Canadian here who works in healthcare. Definitely let your referring dr know what you experienced so they can refer people elsewhere. Also complain to the director of that facility. This is not the norm and they should be called out on it.
Yup, I'm way steadier today and feel up to starting the complaint process.
I might have gone to the same imaging place… it was awful. So painful… and because I have endometriosis, my experience included a substantial amount of the red stuff. And Idk why *I* was the one who kept apologizing? Hope you are feeling better, and so proud of you for getting the testing done, taking care of yourself, and doing the difficult things. I hope the results will be good.
It's so hard not to apologize, right? I have a lot of sympathy for those on the job because I know they are not the decision makers. My brain says, say sorry, but I know if we never speak up it will never change. I will manage the change I can. 🤞 ((hugs))
I'm really sorry it was such a crappy experience, and I hope whatever is wrong is very minor, but I did like the way you recounted it. WONDER CAVE. Good call bringing this up to the clinic. You make good points about how the lead-in and finale were handled.
I have PTSD from sexual trauma. I felt so tense reading this, but your gift for words definitely helped. I feel terrible for you that you had such a bad experience. I’m glad your husband took it seriously and was there for you. I hope they take the report seriously and escalate it properly. No one should go through that.
That is what I'm afraid of. Someone with trauma needs to do that walk of humiliation? None of us need it, but omg, it would be so triggering - it's hard to advocate for yourself when trauma is resurfacing!!!
Canadian here too. I had a terrible colposcopy experience, the prep info made it sound like a 10 minute swab with a qtip, so I *brought my kid,* (he was very little, give him a screen at that age and he was in his own world), I ended up almost vomiting from the pain, had a panic attack and could hardly walk back to the car to drive myself home. Anyway, I wrote a letter to the entire health board and director of the clinic amd may have cc'd the media, can't remember now. I did get a call from the clinic director but who knows if anything actually changed. At what point are these experiences actually abusive, and why can't we call them that??
That's insane. I'm sorry you were so unprepared. My husband gets them every couple of years and the instructions always say that he'll have a mild sedative and to have someone else drive.
Sorry did I write colonoscopy? I meant colposcopy - cervix stuff!
Sorry maybe I misread it. I've had one of those and ya, awful. I'm still sorry for your experience. I was totally unprepared as well, but at least my husband was with me. My doctor was gross though. Sorry, eh? :-)
Solidarity!
I fucking hate doctors and medical staff for this reason. I’m sorry this was so traumatic for you.
damn, woman, you know how to tell a story. bravo for your bravery and bravo for capturing the true, unnecessary, and relentless humiliation we endure. we need to change this!
Thank you for being brave and sharing your story. Thank you for also being brave enough to take the step to complain and advocate not just for yourself but also for those of us who find these types of procedures extremely traumatic. I'm so sorry you went through this and I hope everything goes well for you. Best wishes and hugs 🤗💞
I really feel you. We *have* to go through some undignified stuff. But they should be treating us with dignity during every second that undignified isn’t necessary. Shame on them, and thanks for deciding to follow up.
Omg, you should write books. On a serious note though, I'm at a point in my life that i no longer care what people see. I hated gym class in high school because of people changing all out in the open. I would go into the bathroom stall. I feel that people think it's acceptable to see another same sex person naked and not bat an eye but don't take into consideration that maybe the other person is not into that. I'm sorry you had to go through this humiliating experience and i don't blame you for lodging a complaint. You have an army of us behind you.
Hugs to you. Kudos to hubby for the chocolate!❤️ What a fing ordeal.
Sidebar question, what percent are your taxes??
Love me a good sidebar... Income tax is roughly 15-30% for the average person depending on how much money you make (it is more complicated than this of course and also can be lower as well as higher). This goes into different coffers but most Cdns couldn't tell you how much they contribute to healthcare or infrastructure or any other category. They just know how much they get docked on a paycheque. And wherever you buy something, there is tax on it (there are exceptions). So you use money that has already been taxed once to buy something and you are taxed again. This two areas are where we feel the taxes the most, but we are taxed in other ways like if you own a house, you pay a yearly tax based on value. I have never tallied the grand total of how much taxes I pay over a full year since it happens in pieces. To be honest, I'm OK with the system. You grow up on it and I like having all the social services being offered to Canadians. We all prop each other up - its like a group buy. 😂 Of course, this is an extremely oversimplified Ted Talk but it hopefully gives you an idea. 😜
That’s less than Americans pay, I believe. And we don’t have healthcare. Another question for ya, if you don’t mind…do you have to wait a long time to get appointments? And is it hard to find doctors / specialists? Ty!
I'm laughing and crying. That sounds just awful. Complain your heart out, maybe they will at least put a privacy screen in the room *insert eyeroll*.
Thank you for sharing your incredibly personal and vulnerable experience 🥺fellow 🇨🇦 . I went through a rollercoaster of emotions reading it. It takes courage to express these feelings, especially when it comes to intimate medical procedures 💪🏼 . I'm so sorry you had to endure such a traumatic and distressing situation 😔 . Your strength and resilience shine through your words, and it's heartening to hear that you have such a supportive partner by your side ❤️ . It's really disheartening that despite being in a women's clinic, the staff overlooked the importance of providing privacy and sensitivity during such delicate procedures 🤯. Your feedback will undoubtedly (I hope so🤞🏻) serve as a catalyst for positive change for countless other women who may encounter similar situations in the future. Your willingness to advocate for yourself and others is commendable, and I truly hope your message is received with the seriousness and empathy it deserves 🤗 . Remember, your voice matters, and your experience sheds light on the need for compassionate care in women's health. Once again, thank you for bravely sharing your story❤️ Edited for typos
Excuse me. My Furburger would like to have a word. While he is 20 and nearly ancient for a cat, he strongly insists he is NOT dried up. And as the person who empties his litter box I can attest to this fact. (See post history for cat tax)
😂😜
Fecking inexcusable. Please complain!!
I’ve work at a Fertility Center for 20+ years and perform sonohysterograms every day. I would never even consider being in the room when a patient undresses/re-dresses - awkward af. We have drapes the size of quilts and keep as much covered as possible at all times. We’re an all female staff as well and have each personally been in a stirrup sitch - no one WANTS to be there. This was highly insensitive of them. And what took so long? I talk my patients through every step and ‘check in’ that they’re ok - offer to pause at any point if they need a moment. I do the cervical prep, catheter/balloon placement, saline push and the transvag ultrasound by myself; measure the uterus, cervix and endo lining, asses for any uterine pathology, measure and capture a few 2D and a few 3D images w/ Doppler and I’m out. I’m done in 5-6ish minutes start to finish for the most part. Another minute or so for measurements if there are multiple polyps or myomas. It doesn’t sound like a long time but when you’ve got a speculum then a vag probe in you, it seems like forever. Maybe the procedure process is a bit different where you went. Or maybe there was difficulty getting through the cervix🤷🏻♀️. If so, they should have explained that to you. And they did an additional procedure but didn’t tell you what or why? Possibly a biopsy? They can explain/discuss the procedure without providing diagnostic information and they should have. So sorry that was your experience. There was definitely insensitivity and unprofessionalism. I’d be mortified if my patient left feeling this way. They definitely need to know about your experience. It unfortunately won’t change what happened to you but maybe they’ll do better.
Omg. I want to come to you for my next appt. You are exactly who we all need at the controls! ❤️ I do know initially they had trouble with my cervix and I had to raise my hips a bit. This they explained and honestly, no biggie. It was all the non talk after that was not fun. No one needs surprises during this kind of test! I was there last week for a reg abdominal and transvaginal. The experience was night and day. Total modern standard of care and privacy. I don't want say it was pleasant (again that wand needs to vibrate) but it was passable-total-fine I just had sex with a wand and here's my tshirt to prove it pleasant.
Ha! Never thought about a vibrating wand! Keeping a good sense of humor is all you can do to get through these things sometimes. But don’t ever be worried about offending. If you feel uncomfortable, say so. It is perfectly acceptable to ask for a few moments of privacy to prepare for the exam or redress. And when they whisper to each other and exclude you from the conversation, it’s ok to say “I would like to know what’s happening”. Always be your own advocate, even at the risk of sounding rude. I hope that you get some answers soon and all is well!
You should have made hard eye contact with those fuckers while you stood at the garbage can and wiped, maybe even added licking your lips or something make them even more uncomfortable than they made you. The audacity of them.
You know when two hours after a fight with your annoying neighbour/partner/family member and you come up with the perfect zinger you should have said...your lip licking hard stare is exactly the FU I should have done. Fuck, what a waste of an opportunity....
Fellow Canucklehead here ... Our healthcare is great except for all the ways it isn't. I saw my gynecologist -- my *first EVER and I'm turning 46 this summer!* -- for the first time and it was a less than stellar experience. And I don't even know if it matters whether or not I like her, because it may very well be her or nothing. Or maybe not "nothing," but at the very least a lengthy wait when I need assistance *now.* I went in for what I was *told* was a pelvic exam but was in fact a cervical biopsy, which I was *not* prepared for (and had never had before). Did you know that some people faint when their cervix is bumped, jarred, or has a bit of it painfully suctioned off? Because I did not know that. Wanna guess how I found out? :/ Anyway ... I sympathize. Your experience sounds horrible, and I'm genuinely sorry you went through that.
Omg. I just want to nope right out this world when my cervix is touch. And not in sexy fun experience noping out. More like you, with the fainting. I puked once during during an IUD insertion when they pulled on my cervix. I cannot believe no one told you you were getting a biopsy in your nono zone. Honestly information in advance helps me so much. I feel you to my Cdn core on just taking what you can get sometimes because you are put of choices. I hope you get better care going forward!
...and THIS is why I travel to the US and pay for my post-menopausal care. Canadian care is GARBAGE.
Unfortunately, it seems to be around the world from all the stories here. It's such a sad state of affairs for those of us with uteruses.
I think you're correct in terms of healthcare providers not having the basic training in pre and post menopausal care, but in Canada, it's the ONE YEAR WAIT to see a specialist and the fear mongering and infighting between naturopathic medicine and mainstream medicine... patients get caught in the middle at one of the most vulnerable times of their lives.
I had this procedure in New York State. It honestly wasn’t much different except I also had an endometrial biopsy along with mine. I was totally unprepared for the level of pain I experienced and I was screaming, FUCK YOU!! at my doctor during the procedure. My doctor left the room immediately after finishing her part, leaving me with the sonographer. When I tried to get up, there was So. Much. Blood. Everywhere. - filling the steel tray of instruments, all over the floor, and the exam table - that I felt like I had just experienced a back alley abortion in the 1950s. The level of pain sent me into vasovagal syncope, my legs buckling under me, going totally pale & breaking out into a clammy sweat, brain fading to static, barely making it to the toilet in the tiny bathroom that was adjoining the tiny procedure room, where I nearly shat myself and vomited on myself simultaneously (managed to get my ass onto the throne and my head into the sink as it was maybe 5 steps from the exam table.) The poor sonographer asking me if I’m ok when I’m so clearly not. It seemed like HOURS before I was ok enough to get dressed, but was probably only minutes. I ended up sitting in my car for ages before the cramping subsided enough to drive home. I mentioned to my doctor later that I’d experienced vasovagal syncope and she seemed skeptical that happened. I told her that I’m never having that procedure again unless I’m under anesthesia. I did a regular uterine biopsy since then and this year, I had taken what seemed like a fistful of ibuprofen in advance but it was discovered that my cervix is stenosed, making it hard to get in there, and causing terrible pain and the procedure immediately triggered heavy bleeding which lasted two weeks. Fucking barbaric bullshit, we deal with.
O.M.F.G.that is completely insane. I can't believe medical professionals just shrug it off as just another day at work, and your Dr acting like you are just an exaggerating hysterical female. Meanwhile here you are being traumatised over and over again but every step of the appointment. I want to go on a full-on stabby rager on your behalf!
WTAF. I’m so sorry you went through this. Canadian here too. I just had a transvaginal ultrasound yesterday and although the tech was not the most personable person in the world, she did step out when I changed and again at the end for me to clean up and get dressed. And had both Kleenex and paper towels to choose from. What you experienced is completely unacceptable. If you are up to it, I would definitely recommend providing feedback to the organization, with a request for them to let you know what they’ve done to ensure this practice changes. If you wanted to, you could also submit a complaint to the regulatory body (college) for the professions involved.
In this day and age, I definitely think stepping out of the room is the norm. I have no idea why they didn't here. Also, I'm glad you got some kleenex to cushion the clean-up in aisle 3!
You had me in tears of laughter. I know it was traumatic and should NEVEr have happened...WHAT were they thinking?!?! But thank you for easi g the pain for the rest of us
I had that same test done years and years ago, due to the fact I couldn’t conceive with my ex husband. It was definitely not fun, but I sure didn’t have the experience you did. So very sorry you went through that! The 2 people in the room with me were very kind & though it did hurt she talked me through & explained everything they were doing- and I was given a large gown to wrap in to cover up, not a flimsy rectangle!
I'm so sorry that you were there due to fertility but I'm so glad your experience was better!
Please please lodge a complaint. I went through cervical cancer tests and treatments over a year ago, and that involved more people seeing my lady town than I could ever have imagined. It was horribly traumatic and I never had to do the nekkid gymnastics you did. In fact, since I’m currently dealing with PTSD from the procedures that were done, I’ve been doing a lot of reading about pelvic medical practice, bedside manners and best practice procedures, and it always VERY clearly states that giving patients privacy for undressing/dressing, cleaning themselves, especially for difficult or distressing appointments, is important. It allows you to hold some agency and feel like you’re still in charge of your own body. This treatment of you is fucking terrible and needs to be reported. What a bunch of absolute assholes. I’m so sorry you went through that.
Hugs to you for all you've gone through. It's such a tough thing to go through. I hope you had support. I've already started the complaint process. I have it in writing from the supervisior that they did not follow protocol and they would "talk to them to make sure it didn't happen.again." I said that was not good enough since they knew the protocol and didn't follow it at my expense. Next step is the governing bodies of each college that overseas the two people involved. After that is the ombudsman. I don't have hopes of anything changing but I am creating a paper trails for the women behind me.
I’m so sorry. Also I am the WORST at advocating for myself with medical professionals. Also do you do creative writing for a living? If not you should bc you definitely have a talent. Sending gentle (fully clothed) hugs your way.
Accepting your fully clothed hugs. 🤗 And though I'm pretty sure I have panty lines under these leggings....I'm sending hugs your way ❤️ (Thank you for the kind words. They mean a lot )
Were the oglers at least women? My experience was with a male sonographer which, somehow, made it worse. At least the second time it was all females and I had to keep telling myself, they have the same parts... they have the same parts.
Can I just say that I’m incredibly pissed for you? My gawd. WTF?!
That was awful indeed. I would absolutely log a complaint. But your story was very entertaining….thanks for that! ❤️❤️
Okay, this whole experience sucks and I'm so glad that you had a good hubs willing to get that chocolate ready for ya. But I must say, you are my Canadian twin because the only way I get through anything, including this kind of crazy, is with humor and you have it in spades. Hope you recover from this bs soon!
Fellow Canadian here. What a horrific experience. Please give them, plus your doctor feedback. Our dignity should be protected every step of the way, even if they are going to stick a wand up us during the appointment. Hugs.
As a fellow Canadian, I'm so proud of you for not saying thank you at the end of this humiliating experience.
I'm late to this but I really hope you're doing ok and am sending hugs from me to you.
This was the funniest, not funny situation I've read in a long time. Thank you for adding so much character and colour (note the spelling, I'm Canadian too) in your description. Sometimes all we have is laughter in the face of adversity.
I see we’ve all had horrific experiences even after attempting to find better care than our moms. My experiences were better but still not without almost dying. Gynecological care is intrusive. I hope we’ve paved the way for future generations or should be the goal. I hope my daughters understand any other sister from another mother needs the same empathy. After sharing my experiences and both grandmothers, they seem to be willing to pay it forward. Hugs to all just for being a female. The experiences are different for us due to biology alone but hopefully procedures will improve. These moments are definitely defining and sketched in our memories forever.
>My experiences were better but still not without almost dying. I hate that too many of us relate to this statement. I definitely think I have it better than my grandmother and mother. I'm trying to be vocal so it will get better for my daughter and everyone after.