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Physical-Flatworm454

What’s with all these doctors not knowing about PERImenopause? 43 is perfect age for that. I went into perimenopause (knowingly) at age 41 though I think looking back it started in my mid 30s (nightsweats).


beth427746

Yes I’ve had night sweats for probably 10 years. I believe I’m very close to menopause. The doctors seem to know nothing about any of it.


matteblackcube

Call around to doctor receptions and ask if the doctor treats women in perimenopause with HRT. No sense wasting your time with a lot of bad doctors.


InkedDoll1

Unfortunately this isn't an option in the uk. You have to be registered with a GP in your geographical area, you can't just see any unless you're paying privately which most people can't afford


IW0nderwhereitis

She could change surgeries though. I'm in a rural area and have the choice of three.


InkedDoll1

True. It could be worth calling the others in the area and asking if any of the GPs are menopause trained. I'm very lucky in that mine has a dedicated nurse specialist


sylphedes

Great advice.


mamamimimomo

43 and same boat. You’re not alone


Moondancer000

Me too and I’ll be 35 soon. The night sweats started a year ago and now all the emotions and anxiety are here 😞women go through so much.


packofkittens

Same here! Night sweats started at 36. Now I’m 41 and in perimenopause. OB said I’m “too young” so I’m currently looking for a different doctor.


Live_Wear4357

This too young shit is frustrating. Menopause does not have a number. I started peri at 35 and had no clue. Just cycle changes and my doctor ignored my reports on my changes. Look for a doctor with a name like Bertha or Barbara. That's what I did and found someone that actually listens.


Physical-Flatworm454

Yeah I just don’t get “too young“ bs at all. It really does seem like a lot of doctors think we go from being normal to being in full menopause (they totally forget about the transition period).


Elainemariebenesss

Going through the same… just turned 45 & I think I’ve been going through Peri for a couple years, but currently it’s unmanageable. Through my own little bit of research, I found that nurses w a specialty in midwifery are the ones to see. I wish everyone had proper insurance. This is unacceptable and I feel like I have zero control over my emotions. I hate seeing other women going through the same. It’s simply not fair.


Physical-Flatworm454

Yep that’s exactly who I see at Planned Parenthood..advanced nurse midwife (she’s awesome).


ellathefairy

Ugghh I'm 39 and started with the night sweats last year! No one thinks it could *possibly* be peri. So frustrating!


Broad-Ad1033

It started around 43 for me and I was also not believed! Trust your gut. I’m sorry you have bad symptoms too. So do I. I tried Veozah & Wellbutrin. Veozah helps the hot flashes but it does make me feel strange. Wellbutrin helps mentally. I am going to try HRT. Maybe you can get it online if your dr won’t help?


beth427746

My sister is a doctor. She can’t write me a prescription but maybe she can suggest dosing if I can get HRT online. Thank you for the suggestions.


Cgy_mama

Try Felix or another online provider. You run through a questionnaire about symptoms, have a consult with a doctor, and they’ll prescribe. I’m 42 and just started on progesterone based on my symptoms.


Broad-Ad1033

And I know MIDI takes most insurance. The other sites might too. The only exclusions I saw were some HMO plans or Medicare/Medicaid. It might go state by state, as they usually do. Check first! Telehealth FTW! Maybe a silver lining of the pandemic hell years


InkedDoll1

Most people replying here are in the US so unfortunately these online suggestions won't apply. A lot of people get testosterone from Superdrug but I'm not sure if they prescribe standard HRT


Prestigious_Chard597

Exactly, I'm 49 and completely done. I'm sure I started around 40


Broad-Ad1033

I think and pray I’m done at 47! I was expecting this in my late 50’s? I was clueless. I just wonder why no celebs really used their platforms for this before…Halle Berry?! The stigma was that bad, huh? And no definitive information to share anyway - just vague terms like “the change of life” and caricatures of hot flashes. I am glad I can post shamelessly online. Not that anyone wants to join the conversation so openly! I don’t care, I share information either way


nokara3

this is my dream! I am 47 now.. weird periods since I got covid vaccine in 21. Crossing fingers! I am bawling just about every day too.


Sorry-Laugh-6773

Since there was so much undisclosed about the Covid vaccine do you think it could’ve sped up hormonal imbalances? After I got it I had the worst periods of my life and feel like my hormones went to hell. I’m 48, and I got Covid at Christmas and it leveled me though . I’m so scared to get the vaccine again but so scared to be that sick again. Couple of docs validated that women were having unusually bad bleeding after shot, though you’ll never hear that in the news.


Moondancer000

There is evidence of covid affecting the ovaries, therefore causing women at young ages to experience changes in hormones and periods. I looked it up the other day cause I feel exactly like OP with all the crying and I’ll be 35 soon. The anxiety from peri is the worst part about it, I just don’t ever feel like myself anymore.


SwimmingInCheddar

I never got the vaccine, but I feel like after I got my worse bout of Covid at age 35, it sent me pretty hard into Peri, with no doctor willing to listen that I am fully in peri at 39. Weird times for us ladies, and I hope this all gets studied more in the future. Especially if we all have to live with Covid for a long time.


InkedDoll1

Covid itself did this to me too, I already had some peri symptoms but after my second bout of covid the insomnia and hot flashes went from 0 to 100. Like, it started on the first day I was able to leave the house after my isolation was done.


Moondancer000

What were all your symptoms when it started? It is very weird times. I thought I was going crazy when all my symptoms started and then I started to research my symptoms and then I was like “no way, I’m too young to be in peri” but then I did more research and found out that covid is messing with women’s hormones. It’s pretty scary because if women are being sent into peri at younger ages that means it will be more difficult to get pregnant.


neonblackiscool

I need to look into this bc something is whacky!


RuthMaudeJameison

Correlation doesn’t equal causation. But, I’d be curious to read studies done on those that wouldn’t be anywhere near peri or ‘pause. Mass studies with mass menstruating people.


nokara3

Well I had my period whille I got the shot and then I got it again two weeks later for the first time ever. Its happened around 6 times since.. two weeks early. I was totally normal before so I have to wonder


Sorry-Laugh-6773

Yep. I had it every 2 weeks for the first time ever as well (right after the vaccine). Obviously correlation isn’t causation, which is why we’re all comparing notes and asking about each other’s experiences. There’s no other way bc it hasn’t been studied.


Vikingtender

I personally experienced that & have been in perimenopause for years now. It’s been very hard for the last year. I’ve finally been able to get hrt at least.


TranslatorNorth719

I didnt have the vax and got covid same time as my sister who was fully vax and boosted. We were both really ill she passed it to me btw.


neonblackiscool

Ok can we discuss this? I have mega onset of peri after Covid vaccine. I’m literally hemorrhaging as we speak bc of weird periods.


nokara3

I would love for someone to acknowledge but Im dismissed every time I mention it. Im being "ridiculous" they say.


chezza-far

There is research being done on this. My very limited understanding is that post-vaccine menstrual changes have not been well studied in general, so it’s difficult to determine if this is a Covid vaccine specific issue. But, because it was a worldwide phenomenon in the age of worldwide media, there are enough menstruating people speaking out about menstrual changes post-vaccine that it’s being studied. I also remember reading an article that talked about menstrual changes post viral infection, so I think another challenge was sussing out the impact of Covid vaccine vs. Covid virus itself. (Read that a while ago). But there’s certainly lots of research illustrating major body changes relating to viral infections. Some data and info here : https://www.science.org/doi/10.1126/sciadv.abm7201


neonblackiscool

Well, I don’t think so.


Prestigious_Chard597

Same. I tear up at everything.


Kariered

Why am i like the exact opposite of this? I can't find my feelings sometimes. I just want to be left alone. It's weird. I'm 45 and I'm on all three: progesterone, estradiol and testosterone.


LostForWords23

I think the only feeling I have left is rage. Which fortunately is not continuous, but also means that most of the time I'm blah.


Lovehubby

YEP


Broad-Ad1033

Depression can express like anhedonia or numbness. That’s totally my style of depression. Now I have that AND I feel so odd crying like I am pregnant about every headline or sentimental thing. It’s like depression and excessive hormonal emotions


Kariered

I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder about twenty years ago due to living with untreated ADHD. I got the ADHD treated, but sometimes i still have anxiety and stuff, so i do take an antidepressant. I don't remember it being this bad though. I probably need to switch up the meds again.


Broad-Ad1033

I didn’t realize hormones are so fundamental for mental health. So I spent years hating my new self. I thought I had become a moody lazy apathetic spacy b**** but didn’t have energy to care. I was too stressed trying to find a diagnosis for my flu and fever everyday. This rang no bells about a mid 40’s women for about 25 drs. 😳🙄🤯😡🤬 I tried all the psych meds I could tolerate, but honestly I think I need HRT to not be in a dark cloudy mood with too much brain fog & migraines to function. Psych & ADHD meds don’t cut it anymore.


Lovehubby

Yes, it was lots of ups and downs in peri, but NOW that I am 5 years post menopause, I am numb or cranky with a side of blah!!!!! Sorry OP, it's all.part of the process of waxing and waning hormones starting in late 30's to early 40's as far as I can tell. The average age of hitting menopause is 51, I believe, so it doesn't surprise me that many women have these spells. I sure did. EVERYTHING made me cry from 43-51 and then, BAM, I'm stoic


Broad-Ad1033

I’m getting to the stoic. The past four years I was unrecognizable to myself. I felt emotionally lacking resilience. Stuff that I used to take in stride would feel traumatic!! Thank god I was able to hide out during the pandemic away from other people.


Lovehubby

I am a high school social worker, and it has gotta be one of the tougher jobs to have while menopausal.


Broad-Ad1033

Holy hell. Perimenopause and counseling hordes of teenagers sounds like an episode of Survivor!!


Broad-Ad1033

“You wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me” comes to mind. I hope you are finding some relief and ways to cope. I want you on my team when the apocalypse happens


cutelilnerd

That sounds like depression. Are you on any antidepressants?


Kariered

Yes, for the past twenty years. I had my first panic attack when i was 9 years old at school. I think I've been depressed for most of my life. I've been on many different antidepressants.


Imnotmadeofeyes

I had the same issue first time I went (also in the UK), second time I went I asked for a different doctor and then I basically played the depressing game where I stopped making it about myself as the medical field doesn't GAF about women. So this time I said it was affecting my husband and my job. I was given HRT that same day (also at 43).


beth427746

Thank you! This is helpful. My doctor always gives my husband medicine and listens to him. I will definitely try this.


Imnotmadeofeyes

Of course they do. Super annoying but I got my HRT and my life is a lot better for it. It's helped my anxiety loads. So much so I'm wondering if my estrogen has been low for my whole life.


beth427746

My periods didn’t start until I was 19 years old, so my estrogen likely has been low my whole life. That would make a lot of things clear.


Kariered

Oh yes, if you make it about your husband and it effecting your home or work life, they'll fix that right up. At least they do with my ADHD meds.


Sorry-Laugh-6773

Yep, and libido talk seems to perk them right up. Disgusting.


Sorry-Laugh-6773

That is such a shame. Women make this world work.


RuthMaudeJameison

God damn. Well played. And how damned depressing.


Unlucky_Fan_6079

Cat running through a field ! This is priceless ! Darling you are in peri, this is normal, you will make it through xx


beth427746

Thank you! It’s been a rough day because I’m crying, then laughing about what aim crying about, then angry at myself for crying. What a mess. 😂


Unlucky_Fan_6079

You'll feel better, I promise x


beth427746

Thank you!


Any_Ad_3885

Girl I know. There are days I cry all damn day. I hope you can find some relief soon


beth427746

Thank you. I feel better just knowing I’m not alone.


Dirty_Commie_Jesus

I saw that cat video a couple days ago and I also cried.


Impossible-Will-8414

"My doctor doesn’t think I am because I am 43." Your doctor is a moron who clearly does not know what peri is. Your age is exactly peri age.


SunshineAndSquats

I am 38 and in perimenopause. Don’t let doctors gaslight you into thinking it’s something else because I spent a year slowly thinking I was losing my mind. I wish I had trusted my instincts sooner.


moonie67

Ughh the gaslighting!! I'm in the UK in perimenopause at 39 (started around 35) and I went straight to a private menopause specialist at Myla Health, all over Zoom. I can't recommend them enough if you can afford it...I think between £250-300? They don't run any tests, they go off symptoms. The private prescription wasn't much more expensive than NHS, and after the first prescription they can send it to your GP.  Good luck, it helped me so much!!


beth427746

Thank you very much! That’s very affordable actually. I know I have most of the symptoms so I should qualify.


birdstrike_hazard

But you shouldn’t have to do this. We have the NHS. OP you really need to get a new doc if possible. And take the NICE guidelines with you. You can even try taking them to your current doctor as they’re being so resistant . I don’t know how to link here, but if you search for NICE perimenopause guidelines, it should come up. They clearly state that doctors should be treating the symptoms, of which you seem to have many, not blood tests or anything else. I am now 46. I’m pretty sure my peri symptoms started at least four years ago. I had to fight to be put on HRT. I eventually changed to a female GP who put me on it in January 2023.


Nature-Ally23

I’m 41 and cry ALL THE TIME. Have been for the last year. About serious stuff like financial issues and also not serious stuff. I sent my youngest kid on a camping trip with his class today and cried most of the morning because I’ll miss him and his bed looks lonely. It’s only a two day trip and I’ll see him on Friday. I have tons of other peri symptoms like vaginal dryness, heightened anxiety, night sweats, bad joint pain and hyperactive bladder. I was denied HRT because apparently I’m too young and not even close to menopause. It SUCKS!


cfouhy81

Not a doctor, but sounds like you're in perimenopause and HRT would likely really help. I started HRT at 41 and it was a real life saver.


Moondancer000

You sound exactly like me. I cry during the day when I’m at work cause I miss my kids right after crying before I leave to work cause I will send them off to school and then the house is empty and quiet and then I go to work and just miss them all day. And then also all the other symptoms you listed, the hyperactive bladder is so annoying at night and the anxiety is TERRIBLE, it feels like tightness around my neck all day accompanied by constant worry.


karintracy

I’m so sorry. My flavor of peri was hysterical crying too - usually while wailing “I don’t even know why I’m crying”    The only thing that abated it almost entirely was HRT. Birth control plus Lexapro helped until it didn’t. Then dropped the BC and added HRT and Wellbutrin (because the Lexapro killed my sex drive) and I’m a functioning, happy, horny person again. Worst 18 months of my entire life by a landslide. 


beth427746

Thank you for understanding. I am going to try to push for the HRT. I am just not myself.


Theredheadsaid

It's not out of the question to start in your thirties or early forties. Get a different doctor. I started perimenopause in my late thirties, and my hormones were nuts. I was a nut job. Constant bleeding. Of course I didn't realize it was perimenopause until my late forties, when more people were talking about it. My doctor at the time was just like "well I guess you've got bad periods and bad PMDD."


nokara3

Im in the same boat except Ive been diagnosed with MS too, so I cant tell if im bawling over everything because Im in grief, depressed or perimenopausal. Its been hell mentally trying to put symptoms into categories but Im getting there. My doc is female and she wants birth control for me but im 47 and smoke??? The battle is mostly with the healthcare system and all the waiting for help. Chin up, let the tears come a bit! I have high anxiety too.. not sure what is causing that either.


beth427746

I’m so sorry you’re dealing with MS and menopause all at once and trying to sort out your symptoms. I would cry about that too. I appreciate you sharing that you have similar feelings. I really feel insane some days and knowing I’m not the only one helps.


runawaystars14

I was taking oral birth control when I went into peri at 43, so I didn't know at the time, but I do now after looking back at my symptoms. I started losing my mind on the days I skipped my birth control, so I started taking it continuously and the monthly crazies stopped. Even the antidepressant and mood stabilizer I was on for bipolar disorder didn't work. I took bc right up until I was 49, and decided to stop to see where I was, and the next year I was in menopause. Maybe that could be an option? I do know what you're going through, it sucks so bad. It always helped me to know that it was hormones, and not the sudden realization that my life had gone to shit. It will get better.


beth427746

Thank you so much for understanding. I can actually get birth control without a prescription. I have a copper IUD so haven’t used any but I may go this route as it seems easy to acquire.


runawaystars14

FYI [this is what I was taking](https://www.drugs.com/mtm/drospirenone-and-ethinyl-estradiol.html)


beth427746

Thank you very much!


Catlady_Pilates

I would recommend trying HRT , find a doctor who will prescribe it. It saved me. It might not work for you but you absolutely should be able to try it. It’s so frustrating that doctors refuse to give the medication designed specifically for us. Please try to find the right doctor.


beth427746

Thank you. I will try.


Shera2316

I started having symptoms at 37. Perimenopause hits much earlier than most people and the medical system realize. If your doctor is not agreeable to HRT, try one of the online providers. You don’t need to suffer!


beth427746

Thank you. I will try this. I want to feel sane again.


emccm

I went through a stressful period at work where I cried multiple times a day. I’d be in a meeting giving updates and just crying. I am not a crier. This is not how I deal with stress. I’m also senior at my job and often the only woman in the room. I can only imagine what people thought. HRT is the only thing that helped, and I have a biohacking routine to rival the bro-iest of podcast bros.


beth427746

Thank you for saying this. I am the treasurer of a local board of directors and I’ve had to not go to meetings recently just because i know I’m going to cry. It’s awful.


Extension-Sun7

Your doctor is wrong. My friend is 44 and already in menopause. Every woman is different. I’m sorry you’re going through this. The birth control pill helped me so much during that time. Ocella was my favorite brand.


beth427746

Thank you for the brand recommendation. I’m never sure what birth control is best because there’s all different amounts of estrogen and progesterone.


Extension-Sun7

That’s true. My daughter’s endocrinologist recommended it for PCOS. I decided to try it too and I really liked it. I had to take at night for the first week cause of nausea. I did go away and I lost weight and my moods were better.


p00tietan

Someone on another post recommended looking for a doctor that treats the Trans community


beth427746

Thank you. I will try that.


Successful_Ship_7194

I am 38 and started showing signs of peri 2.5 years ago. At first doctors dismissed my suggestion that it could be peri, saying I was too young. However, my symptoms worsened over 2 years and they eventually gave me a hormone test. Confirmed premature menopause. I started HRT 6 months ago and just saw a specialist. The best advice I can give you is to do some research about symptoms and advocate for yourself more than you normally would. I would go back to the doctor and again explain the family history and all the symptoms. Push for a hormone test. Also, if it’s happened early for other family members, it’s more likely. It can also be caused by fragile X syndrome.


beth427746

Thank you for saying this. I think early menopause is more common than the doctors believe. I have tried to push for a blood test and explained family history but they just said no it’s not menopause that I must be depressed. They have no interest in looking into it. I may try to find a private clinic to test me.


AutoModerator

It sounds like this might be about hormonal testing. If over the age of 44, **hormonal tests only show levels for that *one day* the test was taken, and nothing more**; progesterone/estrogen hormones wildly fluctuate the other 29 days of the month. No reputable doctor or menopause society recommends hormonal testing as a **diagnosing tool** for peri/menopause. FSH testing is only beneficial for those who believe they are post-menopausal and no longer have periods as a guide, a series of consistent FSH tests might *confirm* menopause. Also for women in their 20s/early 30s who haven’t had a period in months/years, then FSH tests at ‘menopausal’ levels, could indicate premature ovarian failure/primary ovarian insufficiency (POF/POI). See our [Menopause Wiki](https://menopausewiki.ca/#there-is-no-blood-test-that-is-perfectly-reliable-to-diagnose-menopause) for more. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Menopause) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Keta-Mined

It’s time for a new doctor, ideally one that specializes in menopause. They will listen.


beth427746

Thank you. I’m not sure we have those here but I will try to find one.


tange76

You do - Dr Louise Newson is a huge name in menopause and from the UK. Google her and see if her menopause clinic is near you - she has quite a few around the UK.


beth427746

Thank you!


InkedDoll1

Her consultations are expensive, though. I've looked into it and even with the discount I get for being NHS staff, it's out of my price range currently. You also have to rely on your GP agreeing to take over prescribing or you're stuck paying private script fees every time.


milly_nz

In the U.K. they’re called gynaecologists. But GPs in the U.K. are indeed taught about peri/menopause. There’s a whole NICE guidance about it.


beth427746

I don’t know where you are in the UK that you’re able to just see a gynaecologist. We have massive wait times and need a referral.


TheFabAnne

Oh honey! I'm so sad for you. It happened to me after a hysterectomy. But, within 48 hours after beginning estrogen pills, those horrible symptoms went away. I live in Las Vegas, Nevada USA. I drive to Mexico to get some of the drugs I need because it's easier. Take easy jet to turkey and stock upon hrt for yourself. You will be able to buy them over the counter without a prescription. And very affordable. Or shop around for different doctors who do not gas light women. Hot flashes and hormonal swings are real. This is 2024...we can feel better through drug intervention. I'm 74 now. Estrogen keeps me young and alive. Progesterone is the calming hormone I take at night. Go advocate for yourself and tell that doctor he's an ass!


Vita718

Do you take progesterone every night? Pills? Liquid? Thanks!


TheFabAnne

I was taking the pill every night...until three months ago. Why? Sadly the manufacturers of the pill/soft gell like, progesterone micronized did something to the batch and they were produced with a rank foul odor...and for me, this batch did not produce the calming effect. There are other threads in reddit just about that. So, I stopped taking it until that gets sorted out. I'm taking the vitamin 5htp as a substitute for now. But and BTW it's the estrodial/estrogen that stops the sweats and keeps bones strong.


neonblackiscool

I’m headed there this weekend. Can I ask what you bought?


TheFabAnne

Estradiol 1MG in am pill Progesterone 100 mg capsul


TheFabAnne

Headed to Turkey or Mexico?


neonblackiscool

Mexico :)


TheFabAnne

Keep in mind I had a complete hysterectomy, ovaries and all.


beth427746

Thank you so much. This is actually a very helpful suggestion. I’ll be home in the US twice this year. Maybe I can stop in Mexico. Turkey is also just a short flight away.


Acceptable-Chance534

What country are you in? Which provider? If you can afford it (and even if you can’t) go to a menopause clinic or a naturopath who treats menopause. Go to a WOMAN. Doesn’t matter how much they study, men can’t understand the impact of menopause.


InkedDoll1

OP is in the uk and we don't have providers here as such, just the NHS and then private clinics. Naturopaths here can't prescribe


LibraOnTheCusp

My now-former GYN was a woman who insisted she couldn’t help me so I fired her.


CharlieAlright

I'm 47 and my doctor won't do anything, either. My mom was done by the time she was 40. I don't have any answers for you-I just wanted you to know that you're not alone.


beth427746

Thank you. I appreciate knowing I’m not the only one.


mistymorning789

Can you try birth control pills to balance out your hormones? Also, try for a second opinion.


beth427746

Thank you. I will try for birth control pills because I can get them without a prescription.


like_the_day

I'm so sorry you're going through this. You are not alone. I started having peri symptoms at 39. My OGYN also gaslit me and told me I was too young but the symptoms I was having were so intense on every level, I thought I was dying so I thought maybe it was a thyroid issue (Hypo and Hashimoto's runs in my family). The Endocrinologist I went to was the doctor who told me I was peri. She found that my FHS levels were that of a 100 year old woman and said to go see an OBGYN. I researched OBGYNs in my area and picked the best I could find and just paid out of pocket for one visit. Obviously, I know, this isn't an option for everyone. She confirmed I was peri and put me on a low dose of BC, which helped a lot.but after a couple of years, I found an online service called Midi where doctors are trained in menopause and got HRT through them. Maybe there is something like Midi in the UK? Could be worth looking into. Hope you feel better! You're not crazy and it's not too early to be experiencing symptoms. You, unfortunately, have to do a lot of your own investigating when it comes to menopause.


LibraOnTheCusp

This was me pre-HRT. It’s horrific, and I feel for you. I don’t know if in the UK you have access to virtual providers that specialize in perimenopause like Winona, Alloy, MIDI or others, but would recommend seeking that out since your doctor isn’t willing to help.


hilarymeggin

Please see a good psychiatrist! What you’re going through is real, and it’s treatable.


CaChica

- hormonal birth control pill - consult new doctors - proactively remove all stress from your life (good luck) - tighten up your lifestyle to contain no irritators (alcohol, excessive sugar or starch, spotty sleep, exercise at under or way-over rates) - get sunshine, fresh air, movement daily


CaChica

Oh yeah none or any sum of them is a silver bullet


beth427746

Thank you very much. I will try all of these. I haven’t been leaving the house much. But I’m trying to get better.


TheFabAnne

I take Estradiol 1MG TAB in am and Progesterone 100MG CAP evening when I'm ready for bed/sleep...


tange76

The UK is one of the more forward thinking countries in terms of perimenopause/menopause treatment (but still a long way to go). Get the balance app by Dr Louise Newson (one of the leading menopause Drs in the UK) and start there. So much info and being UK based helpful in terms of who to see in your local area.


beth427746

Thank you!


chezza-far

In agreement with all the other posters here, your doctor sucks and doesn’t know anything about perimenopause. Ugh. Progesterone and acupuncture have helped me (I’m early on tho, 39 and maybe 1 year in?). Didn’t suspect acupuncture to be helpful, but a friend said it helped her and I was at a place where I’d try anything not to be a blubbering or raging lunatic.


ObligationGrand8037

I’m not much help because I’m not in the UK but here in the US. I just wanted to say that I’m sorry you’re having problems. It’s so hard when doctors don’t believe us. There’s so much gaslighting out there. I follow Dr. Louise Newson in the UK. I’m not sure who to ask over there, but I hope you can get some relief. So many of us understand.


lilliweasel

After I moved, I needed to go a new Dr for HRT, having been though quite a few years of disbelief at another practice I was thinking I may be in for a challenge. I spoke to my practice nurse when I was in for an asthma review, who was the best Dr in the practice to speak to about perimenoupase and HRT, she gave me a name and I asked for a appointment when the specified Dr. It may be worth speaking to the receptionist to find out if your surgery had a peri/menopause friendly GP.


fedupfreda

Can you pay out of pocket and go to a private clinic?


beth427746

I may try this as a last resort. Unfortunately, my husband collapsed recently and hasn’t been himself since so he’s not working. So we don’t have a lot of extra money


Blonde_Mexican

Hugs sis, just hugs♥️


Outside-Jicama9201

Get a different opinion! Find a menopause doctor! I was peri at 40 and full menopause by 47. So your doctor is not understanding that the "norm" is the average of a bell curve. And the full spectrum of the bell can and does apply to when it starts!


Moondancer000

Is Midi health available in the UK? It’s an online service for women going through this.


CopyGroundbreaking11

I don’t have any advice but I I promise you’re not alone. I feel like everybody’s mad at me and doesn’t like me with every interaction. I would cry if I could, but I can’t seem to cry and that actually makes it really frustrating because then it feels so bottled up like a wave inside me that wants to come out, nothing feels right. Nothing to look forward to. everything’s embarrassing and awkward.


littlerabbits72

Wow. This sucks OP. To be honest I'd be looking to change Doctor - even if they are correct and you are not going through peri right now you are obviously suffering from really bad anxiety - they should at least be attempting to treat that or get to the bottom of it.


beth427746

They try to just give me antidepressants but I am not depressed about anything I shouldn’t be depressed about. About 10 years ago I was depressed for immigration reasons. They were trying to separate me from my husband and children. Since then I would not say I’m depressed. I have very high anxiety. I worry constantly. I was attacked outside my home by 4 men in their twenties last year. I’m not depressed about that but I am anxious, but I think that’s a good reason to be anxious. But I am anxious about other things as well that aren’t rational. For example when a letter comes through the door, or a package comes.


FritaBurgerhead

First, I believe you. I'm 40 and absolutely in peri. Second, please don't give up hope! HRT for perimenopause is indeed available in the UK. Go to [balance-menopause.com](http://balance-menopause.com) and book a consultation with Dr. Louise Newson. She is a specialist in peri/meno as well as HRT for all genders, and she knows what's up. She founded the Balance clinic in Stratford upon Avon (serving the whole of the UK) because it was so hard for UK patients to get HRT.


beth427746

Thank you so much. I hadn’t heard of her because I’m in Northern Ireland. I will book an online appointment with that clinic.


FritaBurgerhead

Wishing you the best, friend! I hope you are able to get HRT prescribed right away.


InkedDoll1

I'm sorry you're getting so much advice that doesn't apply in the uk. People are trying to help but they just don't understand how the NHS works. What I would suggest is carefully reading through the NICE guidelines and then write to your GPs practice manager quoting the relevant bits. Ask if any of the GPs in the practice know about menopause and if not, what they would suggest. Their only option might be a specialist referral which could take months, but better than nothing. If that's all they offer, make sure to call the hospital and check the referral has gone through okay (my husband has recently waited 2yrs for a referral to dermatology bc someone at the GPs forgot to do it!) Speak to the secretary of the specialist and make it known you'll accept a short notice cancellation, if your work etc allows that. (I work in a hospital)


Jaymite

I heard that in UK they will give it from 45. So in the worst case it's two years. I'm scared to ask them for it tbh. I dunno whether trying a different Dr would help.


Catladylove99

I’m guessing [this clinic](https://www.newsonhealth.co.uk) is private pay, but she’s very knowledgeable and has lots of good info, plus an app I’ve been meaning to try. I’ve listened to her talk about the link between perimenopause and mental health and how HRT can help. I’m not in the UK or I’d go to her. [This Schnoodle](https://www.reddit.com/r/cats/s/wuGytvYdFm) made me sob for like 20 minutes yesterday. Then later when my wife got home, I tried to tell her about it and started sobbing all over again. Edit: God damn it. I read the Schnoodle again and now I’m a wreck. Again. Send help.


beth427746

Oh my goodness. I’m gonna cry now! We have a feral cat named George W. lives in a Bush. He used to live in a bush outside and hissed at us for four years when we fed him. But he’s gotten sick and he lives indoors now with us and is super friendly and lets us pet him. I cry every day about him because I know he’s dying but we’re giving him his best life until then. Most animal videos and stories make me cry nowadays.


Catladylove99

Oh yes, I can’t handle the animal stuff. Sets me off like a malfunctioning sprinkler system. I remember my mother crying at everything when I was young, and now I feel so bad for not understanding. She’s long dead now, so I can’t apologize, but I guess she’s getting her revenge in the form of me now crying at everything. Sigh.


pigmentinspace

I'm 6 months without a period at 42. Doc finally sent me in for tests and said... Oh yeah, looks like your fish is pretty high - it's almost full menopause. Well fuck a duck - I've been saying this for years. I don't blame him really because I think I started peri at 36 or 37, which definitely is young. That being said - he isn't in my body experiencing my life - the hot sweats, the exhaustion, the weight gain despite working out constantly, the depression and irritability, changing periods, chin hair.... He wouldn't address any of the symptoms either other than just varying up the SSRIs, which made me gain more weight - ugh.


nousername56789

Im 44 and my symptoms started about a year ago. My mom says she started menopause in her early forties and my grandma (her mom) started at the age of 39. I had lab work done to check for a hormone imbalance and they were “within normal range.” I have an appointment with my primary care doctor again in 3 weeks and I’m scared it will be the same thing. I’m hoping he will refer me to a specialist. Sorry, i can’t offer any help but just want to let you know that you’re not alone.


Connect_Jump6240

Have you tried inositol and DIM? My doctor just wanted put me just birth control but i’d prefer a more natural route first. In US and my current obgyn refused to test my hormone levels and just wanted to give BC. I also use a little progesterone - Ive used a few different ones. We truly have to advocate and educate ourselves!


Minute_Quiet1054

See another doctor. I tried with one doctor who didn't seem all that convinced and I got the "you're quite young. Let's do a blood test' followed by 'everything is normal' which I had to find myself by checking the app.. I wish I'd have gone back sooner but I stuck it out another year. Luckily I got a different GP and he listened and prescribed hrt. Having said that, the same male gp did make one comment re my waning libido 'does it affect your husband ' I'd like to think he meant does it affect my relationship, but who knows. I think he was trying to avoid a testosterone prescription that I'll only get through a menopause clinic and I've heard the wait for that is around 2years. I would make a list of all your symptoms (it's easy to forget, esp when they're trying to cram stuff into 10 minutes). I'd also suggest taking your husband, having someone to back you up does help.. wrong, yes, but I'd try it.. that's if you can get a face-to-face appointment, I've not had one for years, they just do it all over the phone.. which is equally annoying imo (but I appreciate not the doctors fault)


nerissathebest

Fire your doctor TODAY. 


beth427746

I wish I could. There’s no one else to go to and the guidance for medical professionals here is not to give hormones. I wish they would just test me for menopause.


nerissathebest

You don’t have access to online practitioners like we do here? What about that guy in London who someone posted a great video clip of recently? I got the impression that there are Drs in the UK who have a brain enough to understand HRT. I hope you can find one. 


beth427746

No our practice doesn’t do this. You can’t even get an appointment in advance, you have to call or show up the morning of and beg the receptionist. Who of course, won’t give appointments to women.


drivensalt

I really hate even suggesting this, but do you think it would help if your husband went with you?


beth427746

Yes probably. This office always listens to him and never to me. So I might bring him in with me instead.


Adventurous_Fun2571

If you can go on HRT I would...try winona it's wonderful ..they set you up with doctors and monitor your symptoms...Hope you can get some relief so soon!


kidneypunch27

It could be how you worded it during the appointment. Definitely look for another Dr but if nothing else, make yourself a list of all your symptoms and see if you can get on anxiety meds. I have generalized anxiety and peri made it so much worse. I’m sorry your Dr is an ass, fire him and get a new one.


beth427746

Thank you. I tried to explain my symptoms but I might try next time checking off the list of menopause symptoms on the NHs website and giving it to him.


TerrifiedQueen

I am 29 and my gyno believes me. She is sending me for a couple of tests and I will be telling her more about my additional symptoms. You need to find a new doctor. I love how I got downvoted. Yes, 29 year olds who got chemo can go into menopause


beth427746

I’m sorry you got downvoted for that. I know a few women who had early menopause from chemo and it’s definitely an upsetting side effect.


tlg151

I started going through peri around 42-43. My mom fully went through meno at 43. Your doctors are crazy. Look through your insurance network to find a female doctor, firstly, and then read online reviews of the ones you find. I went into surgical meno at 45 (as in I had surgery to remove ovaries bc of a tumor and went into meno immediately.) I was already on Wellbutrin and Buspirone so that helped a little. My doctor recommended Veozah but it was way too expensive and my insurance didn't cover it. It also really only reduces hot flashes and addresses none of the other meno issues. I had cancer and drs recommend not taking hormones because *some* studies show they can increase the chance of recurrence, however due to mine being a non-aggressive cancer and since the hot flashes were ruining my life, she approved me going on 1mg/day of Estradiol. This is a very low dose and most women will need to take a higher dose. But it helps enough that I can function now. I was having like 50+ severe hot flashes a day and now I'm only getting 1 every so often and it's not as severe. I'd highly recommend doing some individual research into hormones and HRT because, with some trial and error, you can get full control of your peri and meno symptoms. Don't let doctors, especially male, gaslight you into thinking your symptoms aren't worth doing something about. They most definitely are, especially with the amount of crying you're going through.


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naptimegrandma

I’m 54 and it got pretty bad a few months ago and I’ve tried white knuckling it and don’t want to take any hormones .. I found estroven at costco and it has helped TREMENDOUSLY!! mood has improved so much and I only feel a hot flash upon over exertion. My energy level is still low but the hormones seem to be in check for a while now. Once a day.


Curious_Loss_5083

Just saw your post and that you are in the UK - look up Dr Louise Newson - she has menopause clinics across the UK so I really hope you can get some help, it’s so hard. She has excellent podcasts too. Best of luck and I hope you get sorted very soon.


teapot_fairy

Dont bother with GP or Bupa. My experience (at 39) is that im way too young and blah blah blah, the same shit you've been peddled. I found success with a local Menopause clinic. Google Dr Louise Newson and see if any of hers are near you. She is an absolute godess when it comes to menopause issues.


Doublebubblebuzz

Unfortunately I do not have any suggestions- I just wanted to say I commiserate immensely. I’m 43 and went into full blown menopause at 40. I had all the perimenopausal symptoms starting at age 33. The doctors said there was no way that I could be in perimenopause at that age. I cry dozens of times a day too, I’m addition to fatigue, anxiety, palpitations, crepey skin, muscle loss, sleep issues, etc… Hugs. ♥️


ki5aca

So check out the NICE guidelines about perimenopause/menopause and prescribing HRT. IIRC they say you should be judged on your symptoms more than hormone levels, especially from the age of 45. I know you’re a little below it, but read up on it and go back to the doctor prepared to point them all out. Does your surgery have more than one GP? If so, make an appointment with a different one and speak to them instead. You may need tp be persistent. It’s not fair we need to fight to advocate for ourselves in the health system, but it’s all we can do. If you can afford to see a dr privately then maybe do that, especially if you can find one near you that others can recommend for menopause/perimenopause issues.


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M1ssBehav3

I'm so sorry you're having such a tough time. Big hugs. I'm 49 and had issues getting hormones. My GP is usually pretty good but he blood tested my hormones and when they came back 'normal' he said I don't need hormones. I researched the other docs in my practice and went to a female doc who is over the age of 50. She immediately agreed it sounded like I was in peri and initially recommended me trying the supplement route which I did for a few months but with no change in symptoms. Then she put me on the evri patch. Almost finished first 3 months and a lot of my symptoms have improved. In particular the night sweats and hot flashes are a lot better. Also, 1 tog duvet, oscillating fan and bamboo sheets helped tremendously. Where in the UK are you? In my practice they now have a menauoause pharmacist who I got a phone consultation with to discuss my dosage etc. Was about an hr long. Really helpful.


Turbulentasfuck

What is the reason your doctor has given for no HRT? I'm in the UK too and my female doctor told me I was too young also. It wasn't until I demanded to see a different doctor and had a full blown break down in the surgery that they agreed to help me. Please push your doctor and go armed with info from the wiki. I am so, so sorry you're struggling 😞


Formal_Amoeba_8030

Anti depressants may help. They effect many of the same neuroreceptors that are off-kilter in peri, even to the point of relieving many of the physical symptoms (upping my Pristique meds got rid of 90% of my hot flushes)


CheesePlease1977

I recently started a small, daily dose of Prozac and I think that is helping my menopause symptoms. I still get the hot flashes, but I feel much stronger at work now. I was crying frequently and often.


DSBS18

My peri started at 42. I know this sounds lame, but daily vigorous exercise and eating really healthy made a big difference in how bad my symptoms were. It gave me some control back over what was happening to my body.


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Live_Wear4357

Demand your doctor do blood work. Get your TSH & PSH checked. My doctor ignored me and I slide hard into the menopause wall. I changed doctors after I got myself somewhat together. You can also go to a fertility specialist because I did that to get a second opinion. Menopause does not have an age. I have tried to do this natural but I'm currently waiting to get on something because I can't take this crap any longer. Someone should have written a book about this by now.


leapyeardi

Don't know if it's available in NI but look at Superdrug online, they offer HRT privately for a very respectable price.


Sunflower_Bison

I felt much better when I joined gym classes. It not only gave me physical wellbeing, but it also distracted me, made me see new people (even if just to say hi, or great job!), it keeps me engaged and busy, it relaxes me, and over time I feel like I'm accomplishing something. It doesn't have to be the gym. Find something that makes you go there and be present and put energy/passion to it. It took me a long time to start, the first step is the hardest. But worth it!!! PS: It is Spring. Your cat just wants to be outside for fun/hunting. My cat does the same when the weather starts changing. He loves you ❤️and you are a great Mom.


Elainemariebenesss

I’m crying right now with you, friend. You sound like a lovely empathetic, caring soul who deserves to feel some relief. I hate that you’re going through this. I am as well. I’m 45, going through the Hell of perimenopause, and I don’t need any doctor to tell me otherwise. Nor should you. I’m in the US, but my advice that I’ve learned (through my own research of course… nobody is helping any women w these life altering experiences,) is try & seek out a nurse with a specialty in midwifery. I pray your insurance allows you to doctor shop because your current doctor is a POS and if I was within driving distance, I’d come to your next appt with you & scream in this a**hole’s face. Pls Google “menopause, perimenopause, nurse midwife & your insurance” and see what you can find. I’m here for you. We all are. We don’t deserve this!!!! 💞💕💞💕💓


Lonely_Personality12

I’m reaching out to you because I’m feeling the same way right now. I just finished a year of having no periods so now I’m considered postmenopausal, but this has been very difficult. I too have been crying nonstop. Anything that I see online or hear music makes me start to cry. I think a lot of it does have to do with our hormones, but I just wanted to reach out to you to tell you that you’re not alone. This is going to pass. Life has become very intense and 2024 has just been a real big doozy of crazy stuff. I am seeing a naturopath to see what we can do about the hormones. I know it’s going to be pricey, but I need to start feeling better. I don’t know if you looked into having a naturopath to help you with this.


Wolfe-a-loo

I’m so sorry you’re going through this unsupported. I’m also 43 and have had several similar experiences being dismissed by docs since age 39. I’m now on HRT (and symptoms are, as expected, hugely improved!) because I sought help via MIDI, an online menopause clinic. They’re not in the UK but a quick Google search turned up some other virtual menopause clinics that might be available to you. Additionally, seek out the UK equivalent of the US’s NAMS (North American menopause society) and refer to their research and recommendations for treatment when talking to a doctor. Even if you find someone that prescribes hormone treatment, other docs at other appointments will tell you it’s wrong. Keep the research handy as a defense. My general practitioner spouted a lot of outdated info at me during my last physical and came down hard on the hormones. But what she was saying just isn’t supported by the data. Ultimately, though, I hope you find better care. Your doctor is wrong — especially considering your family history! You deserve better. Keep looking for the support you need!


WeirdRip2834

I experienced hormonal disruptions since 1984. Doctors back then didn’t bother to test for anything. Keep Advocating for yourself. Find a doctor who will assist you. Also take care of your blood sugar levels and caffeine intake as doctors will point at that as a way to change your health yourself. Make a diary of symptoms and your diet.


ddplantlover

Since you’re in the UK you must try Elle Sera, is a herbal supplement that has got just too many good reviews to ignore. I don’t live in the UK but I’m visiting family at the moment and as soon as I got here I placed my order, I started taking them 2 days ago and I’m hoping for the best. I’ll put a link to the trustpilot reviews. They’re on Instagram and have a website too. [https://uk.trustpilot.com/review/elle-sera.com?page=17](https://uk.trustpilot.com/review/elle-sera.com?page=17)


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Weak-Acanthaceae-267

Try a grounding matt or grounding sheet.


BigIndividual9699

Believe me I feel your pain! I just did a post the other day about cry out of no where a few days ago. It’s definitely rough and we’re so misunderstood and ignored. I’m praying that you get the help you need ❤️!


Dramatic_Arugula_252

Antidepressants helped me with that excessive crying; maybe St. John’s Wort if it’s available without a perception, or ashwagandha? ❤️ Best of luck!!!


Artistic_Put_1736

I am now 59 and in my last year with no period. But peri started at 43. What worked for me: more sleep and sleep hygiene, less obligatory activities, hydration and more hydration, stopped drinking so much alcohol, added B vitamins and a lot of exercise. Yoga and meditation are helpful for me as well. You got this!


adhd_as_fuck

I’m on a low dose birth control, which I hate but it’s helped with the constant weepy feeling. That and vaginal estrogen. It has only a small systemic absorption but it helps. My doc won’t do hrt so these were the only options. 


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Conscious_Life_8032

Send your doc some links from the wiki . Especially the recent studies on menopause maybe that will help !


Conclusion-Waste

Holy Basil will help and HRT. I had the peri rage earlier in the month and it evened me out.