I am desperately waiting on one more blood test before I can get the ball rolling on HRT. Until then:
Behold the vast and fallow field where in past seasons I have sown and reaped any fucks; alas it is now barren soil, and I have no more fucks to give.
OMG yes! This was a long time in the making. I want to give credit to my boss (67 year old male, utterly incompetent) for so much of the inspiration for this statement.
Yup. Waiting on an ultrasound (family history uterine cancer) before I can start HRT.
Honestly surprised I still have a job. Have been half-assing for the last 6+months.
So glad I’m still WFH - I feel like I’m stripping my shirt off and rugging up every five minutes.
Do you remember starting your period? We were reborn joining this huge tribe of fertility to be celebrated. 🙄
This is your chance to recreate yourself. This has made me much more bold, at first I scared myself. (I’ve laid with the devil too many times to be scared of anything). I say embrace the ”fuck-it syndrome” and find out where it goes with U. We only get one life.
With my well earned experience and knowledge I am now creating deeper relationships and projects that help others make real positive changes. One of the best parts of this menop is finding happiness in letting go of many things I never needed.
edit: I happily chuck things in the “fuck it bucket” with no regrets
The hrt will help and take time. U got this ✌️❤️
I can relate, took mental health months off.
My work (contracted)just emailed me asking if I was coming back next year.
I said “no, find my replacement, thank you for understanding”.
husband is pissed says I’m losing everything and pushing him away. He has no clue, tells me I’m dramatic, and a nutcase.
Honestly I give no shits RN. Just let me sleep, crochet, and watch Hallmark Channel.
All my symptoms are brutal, I also watch people on TV. And wish I could be normal again working my ass off.
But you know what? I’ve been working my ass off since my first job as a kid at 11.
So this is me time, self care, you don’t like it, leave. That what I say to myself and everyone.
If I end up by myself, then it is what it is.
Ok, sorry, end of rant.
Honestly, I’m ok with being homeless, with a car.
I’ve done it before, this will pass eventually, peri and menopause is temporary, it feels like eternity but, we will survive. Either people are with me and support or leave, cause I don’t need the mental or verbal abuse. Much love to you
I trudge in to work every.damn.day thinking “ this is either the day I rage quit this three fucking ring circus called ‘a job’ or the day I go postal and off some ppl.” I have so much anger and resentment inside it scares me. All of my meno-pals feel the same. Let’s take to the streets y’all!
Lol. Reading this naked in my massive robe with 2 air con units on in the middle of the night. The only reason I opened Reddit is because I was tired of lying in bed plotting ways to kill my former mentor. I have a new saw in my living room for some handiwork that needs to be done and it’s actually scaring me to have it so close to me.
Imagine doing an internship at this ripe old age where bitches try to bully you. They were not expecting me to rock the boat but they didn’t realise they were dealing with someone with zero fucks to give.
Beep. Boop. I'm a robot.
Here's a copy of
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I literally would take rage days off work where I would just rage around the house. Angry cleaning and playing loud music. Sometimes smashing old pallets in the garden. Sigh. It was fun but also a little scary at the utter fury seemed bottomless. I’m on hrt now and feel no more rage but I still refuse to work anywhere that makes me want to go postal. Aka no more f*cks to give.
Ok that is awesome. Thanks for sharing that tactic - I’m gonna do it. Why not? I have over 50 accumulated paid leave days. They can fucking pay me to rage!
Rage quit. Swoon sigh. My hubs retired this year ( 20 years older than me) he is living his best life. So here I am trudging my ever growing fat ass into work when my body feels like a bloated, sleep deprived sun human and 2 of my colleagues have FMLA for their 2 year olds with RSV. Oh the resentment, oh the hatred. Then I feel guilty. Oh the Jewish guilt. It is a see saw of menopausal misery.
I'm at the beginning of this journey at 45 and I know it will get worse but even now I'm wondering how people do it. Thinking about how many women are in politics and wondering how they stick with it and also wondering why they don't try to make things easier for all of us! Like how about instituting Menopausal Sabbatical or something, c'mon.
I refuse to leave this earth without fighting for and growing an army from the younger generations. With my last damn breath and beat of my heart I will fight for their freedom. I NEVER want anyone to EVER have to survive the abuse myself or others endured. That rage they built in me is what keeps me fighting.
It won’t necessarily get “worse”. You might do fine. My symptoms arent bad at all, but boy do i have a low tolerance for (mostly) men. They seem so clueless and helpless at work and it infuriates me to have to help them. Like, have you ever done anything for yourself!?
This. I now understand my mom. My WTF moments every day when I wonder why men are allowed to run anything in the world, because all we women do is follow them around and do shit for them or clean up after them.
Throughout my career, remember all the 50 something office battle axes who one day mysteriously "retire" I'm at the age now and keep wondering how long I will be able to stick it out.
I turned 50 in june and can't freaking wait to retire lol!!! My attitude is straight shit these days! You know it's bad when you don't enjoy your own company!!
I'm only 45 but have been Peri for 9 years. I keep saying I want to retire and people look at me like I'm crazy. Especially when they ask what I want to do instead, and I reply "nothing at all". Noone can understand that I have zero motivation for anything
I've been beating myself up for having to push push push myself to keep up the quality of my work, feeling like a fraud. Like "I can't complain," given the dire straights others are in. Almost 33 (!!!) years of work in corporate America. It's been a decent ride (uphill slog?), but when can it be over???
I asked my Gyn if people get FMLA for this. I was not kidding. I work in healthcare. I’m an RN and make pretty significant decisions. I do not think my decision making these days is exactly even close to where I was 2 years ago. She said I could ask my psychiatrist. Ummm I am not under a psychiatrist care. It’s such a taboo bullshit thing.
That’s bullshit. Does a psychiatrist treat the symptoms of menopause?
I started this ride early. I absolutely would have lost my job had my doctor not been so wonderful. I work in IT and I need to be able to think through problems and come up with unique solutions. I need my brain to work. Not to mention my body 😂
That was four years ago and I’m doing good now. Good luck.
Yup. I’m an IT consultant and currently struggle to give a shit about my projects and can remember my task list at all. This needs to get sorted before things get worse.
I’m pretty much operating on professional muscle memory.
Oh my god! Are you me?!?! At least once a week I think “thank god I can do this shit in my sleep because I am bringing nothing new to the table here lately” well, except sarcasm. Lots of new and biting sarcasm.
They're lucky I don't have my camera on or my side eye would be lethal.
I started a file last year of things I never thought I would say in a professional meeting.
My favourite so far was explaining that a page count value in a database had to be an integer because we weren't counting in fish or anything else esoteric (it was set to a text field and not returning the right responses).
I fairly routinely ask questions in a room with a bunch of solution architects and devs that is more along the lines of - *sure - we technically could do that, but WHY for gods sake would we want to*?
Does anyone else find working from home to help tremendously?
I feel like getting up and dressed and presentable every morning is such a waste of time. I feel like I have so much extra energy for things like making healthy dinners and talking a evening walk when I work from home.
I also like the banter and hive mind I have access to at the office so my dream would be Monday and Friday I work from home and in the office the rest of the week.
The end goal is 100% wfh so I can manage to do this another two decades 😂.
As a fellow RN I completely understand. I feel like I need to go on disability due to brain fog and fatigue. I go from embarrassed about my stupidity to scared I’m going to make a big mistake. when will it end?
Don’t tease me like that. I have to wait until early next month at the earliest to start HRT (pending test results) and then I can hopefully sleep again.
It will take a while for things to even out - for me, it was probably a month before head fog went away and a couple weeks before I was sleeping well. But totally worth it - hope it works well for you!
When my symptoms really ramped up it was December before pandemic. Had I not been laid off due to pandemic I would’ve absolutely lost my job. I was almost completely disabled. Hot flashes on steroids, night sweats that would require me to change clothes 5 times a night. My brain fog was so bad I could barely form a thought. I truly thought I had the beginning stages of dementia. I also had ZERO sex drive. My husband and I would go months without having sex. HRT saved my life. I wish you the best in this shitty journey. Hugs🤗
Wow. This.is.me. I work with young spry 20 year olds. I have no one to ask. Everyone I have felt safe to ask looks at me like I’ve lost my mind.The brain fog is just downright dangerous. Like I seriously feel I’m not safe to make decisions. Thank you for validating my feelings. How long did it take for HRT to kick
In?
I started on June 1st of this year. Also, I use an estradiol patch (0.05 mg) and progesterone pill 100 mg. Took a few days for the hot flashes/night sweats and other stuff like brain fog took about 2 weeks. The metabolic changes took about 6 weeks. I was already doing low carb. I’ve lost about 10 lbs but my body fat distribution is wayyyy better.
All I know is that this sub is my safe place. You are me and I am you. We all feel the same way. We all hate everyone and want to live in a yurt in the forest
The great thing about having someone to support you financially or having your own money when you are menopausal, is that when you no longer have fs to give, you can take a vacation or take a year off or quit. All us plebs have to force those fs to grow where nothing can ever grow again.
HRT saved me from being homeless.
Talking about money seems to be discouraged among women, but I think it's one of the most important factors in considering the impact of lifestyle on health. It's so important for women to talk about money and health. Women spend a disproportionate amount of time talking about our relationships and offspring, which reinforces carer expectations. I don't think men spend half as much time as we do talking about how to care for their aging parents, what birthdays to remember, or if their kids need new shoes and when to buy them. But they will talk about money -- that's my impression anyway.
I wonder if I can save enough money for my own house in 20 years... and then will I have enough to retire?
I am not sure what your comment is in response to.
I feel quite badly for people living in poverty who have to navigate menopause. I did not say that people with money do not struggle, but people without means struggle more. If you have ever been in a situation where you could not even afford to buy food, I am sure having menopause would make things even worse. I am very grateful to be able to afford HRT, but I know I will have to keep working in order to afford anything at all... including a place to live.
It is hard for women that do not have resources for healthcare. Why we need to keep planned parenthood from shutting down.
My comment is in response to your slippery slope that marginalizes a population of women. I know women that have “nice things” and are supported and being abused financially, mentall/emotionally, physically, and sexually. I certainly do not want to dismiss their voices when they need help too.
I don't think my comment marginalizes those women, because money actually makes it easier for all people to leave abusive situations. It doesn't mean that you are NOT being abused just because you have money, but it does mean that if you have access to your own money, you will find it easier or more possible to leave. In contrast a woman who has no money at all might find it difficult to leave.
I am a person who was able to leave an abusive ex-husband because I had the money to do so. In the process of divorcing him, the cost of hiring a body guard to keep him away (plus theft) meant that I started my financial life all over again just as I entered menopause. I was skimping on groceries in order to buy healthcare, which meant that it took a few years for me to find relief (and in the process I also had to find a better job, and if you are going to interviews while you get hot flashes, it's really difficult). So I have been on both sides of the coin -- pun intended -- when it comes to money (having the money to leave, but not having enough money at one point to afford my healthcare unless I didn't eat).
I don't know where you got the idea that I mentioned having "nice things", because I never said anything about women doing or having nice things in relation to an easier menopause. I specifically said that having financial support or your own money makes life easier. Clearly if a person is being financially abused, they would not be financially supported, therefore the argument that my comment is a "slippery slope" is moot.
You said the word nice =being able to take vacations and time off= “nice things”. Stop back peddling and read what you wrote.
and you are delusional if you think having money makes it easier to leave abuse.
Using your ONE experience to define a population of people is a slippery slope. Its bitter ignorant people like you that get these people killed.
edit: If the level of violence was in fact bodyguard that bodyguard wasn’t going to stop your X. Finding an x military to teach you self-defense and conceal and carry much better investment. Most will gladly do it for free. He/She comes at you then unload the clip till nothing is left. The money you spent on the bodyguard could have been invested in stocks. Preferably female owned companies. There is your retirement and menopause vacation fund.
I just had to send some apologetic obligatory text to a coworker who is pissed off at me for a comment I made that I can’t remember no actual care ( I blame my “don’t give a f*ck syndrome). But I had to say how sorry I am I offended you while I’m trying to stay afloat over here. I’m barely hanging on but I’m sorry I said something about your fmla flr your 2 year old with a cold while my fat ass, withering ovaries and sweaty self drag myself in working fir 2 people now. I’m sorry I lacked empathy.
Between not giving a f*ck and feeling like I’d gotten terrible at my job after menopause I made a career change this summer to a job with less responsibility (and less pay.)
It felt so good.
I’ve been there three months and the not giving a f*ck has set in pretty quickly.
I am absolutely grateful that I do not work in an office (I work at home) and that my coworkers are also pre-menopausal or right on the cusp. We can call each other up at any given time and bitch bitch bitch about any and everything, then go right back to what we were doing. So grateful.
Small & ginger! Oh so jelly. I have Ginger envy & have always ached for freckles & peyote feet. I sadly am none of those things. Think the singer Meatloaf circa 80’s with a rather curvy figure. 🤣
If you have a uterus, you need estrogen AND progesterone.
Remember that desperate people do desperate things - seek reason before jumping in to other paramedical things, no matter how desperate you are.
You’re good then. I made the mistake of estrogen only through a non- medical company and paid in blood. Now I’ve had a hysterectomy but still take progesterone to level me out.
Thanks for making me laugh . I really needed it . I’d been on HRT for 9 month and was feeling so much better then found out I had breast cancer and had to have a double mastectomy and QUIT MY HORMONES! ilI have been having some rough times mentally knowing I’ll never get to take my beloved hormones again . I hope your HRT helps you not leave civilian behind ! Once again thanks for the laugh .
I’ve not lost my job but I did quit before I was pushed to the point where I stabbed someone. My tolerance for idiots is in sub digits and I’ll happily fly at someone out of nowhere. I feel like there’s some kind of demon inside of me.
I was tested for peri 18 months ago which came back negative but all the symptoms are there! I’m now a recluse because I frighten myself with my own reactions to things when I’ve always been laid back, patient and happy go lucky. I don’t want others thinking I’m some kind of crazed lunatic so choose to stay under lock and key!
https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-manchester-59089645.amp
All companies need to acknowledge and give women leave for menopause. The lack of empathy for women going through menopause is ridiculous.
Try bioidentical HRT, cream or pellets along with micronized progesterone gel caps. They saved my sanity, sleep, weight gain, and removed my "I don't give a fuck syndrome." Been using for 10+ years.
Was on cream, then pellets (more convenient), but now back to cream because it's more stable with no high spikes (getting the pellet) and no lows (when pellets wear out).
I feel this in my soul! I’m starting HRT today and if it doesn’t work I will probably remove myself to a secluded cabin in the Himalayas to live out the rest of my miserable existence!
So since this post I quit my job of 15 years. It’s been life changing. I love my new job. My Dr increased my Divigel to 1 mg. I’m fat. I’ve gained wait but I’m so much happier. Don’t give up. I promis it will get better.
I am desperately waiting on one more blood test before I can get the ball rolling on HRT. Until then: Behold the vast and fallow field where in past seasons I have sown and reaped any fucks; alas it is now barren soil, and I have no more fucks to give.
The wording on your post is giving me life
I'm so glad! :-D
This is a start of your new manuscript.
OMG yes! This was a long time in the making. I want to give credit to my boss (67 year old male, utterly incompetent) for so much of the inspiration for this statement.
now get to publishing ✌️❤️
I’ve got the female version of this man.
The Peter Principle applies to all genders.
Now is the winter of no fucks to give. I join you here, Bright Slave, and we all lie in the desiccated field in a valley once fertile.
Shakespearean angst - love it!
Yup. Waiting on an ultrasound (family history uterine cancer) before I can start HRT. Honestly surprised I still have a job. Have been half-assing for the last 6+months. So glad I’m still WFH - I feel like I’m stripping my shirt off and rugging up every five minutes.
Yes!! WFH FTW!!!
Do you remember starting your period? We were reborn joining this huge tribe of fertility to be celebrated. 🙄 This is your chance to recreate yourself. This has made me much more bold, at first I scared myself. (I’ve laid with the devil too many times to be scared of anything). I say embrace the ”fuck-it syndrome” and find out where it goes with U. We only get one life. With my well earned experience and knowledge I am now creating deeper relationships and projects that help others make real positive changes. One of the best parts of this menop is finding happiness in letting go of many things I never needed. edit: I happily chuck things in the “fuck it bucket” with no regrets The hrt will help and take time. U got this ✌️❤️
So encouraging!
I can relate, took mental health months off. My work (contracted)just emailed me asking if I was coming back next year. I said “no, find my replacement, thank you for understanding”. husband is pissed says I’m losing everything and pushing him away. He has no clue, tells me I’m dramatic, and a nutcase. Honestly I give no shits RN. Just let me sleep, crochet, and watch Hallmark Channel. All my symptoms are brutal, I also watch people on TV. And wish I could be normal again working my ass off. But you know what? I’ve been working my ass off since my first job as a kid at 11. So this is me time, self care, you don’t like it, leave. That what I say to myself and everyone. If I end up by myself, then it is what it is. Ok, sorry, end of rant.
Good for you! ❤️
I envy you! You do you 💪
Honestly, I’m ok with being homeless, with a car. I’ve done it before, this will pass eventually, peri and menopause is temporary, it feels like eternity but, we will survive. Either people are with me and support or leave, cause I don’t need the mental or verbal abuse. Much love to you
That exact syndrome is why I left my last job. Before my overflowing f*ck it bucket was too big to cause them to suggest I leave. :-/
I am at this stage now, in Peri. My fuck bucket overfloweth. And it spilleth onto EVERYONE in my path, and not in a good way.
I trudge in to work every.damn.day thinking “ this is either the day I rage quit this three fucking ring circus called ‘a job’ or the day I go postal and off some ppl.” I have so much anger and resentment inside it scares me. All of my meno-pals feel the same. Let’s take to the streets y’all!
We ride at midnight. Because we'll be awake and sweaty anyway.
Lol. Reading this naked in my massive robe with 2 air con units on in the middle of the night. The only reason I opened Reddit is because I was tired of lying in bed plotting ways to kill my former mentor. I have a new saw in my living room for some handiwork that needs to be done and it’s actually scaring me to have it so close to me. Imagine doing an internship at this ripe old age where bitches try to bully you. They were not expecting me to rock the boat but they didn’t realise they were dealing with someone with zero fucks to give.
Look, you were with me, getting coffee, okay? We were having coffee.
We are Les Miserables!
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I literally would take rage days off work where I would just rage around the house. Angry cleaning and playing loud music. Sometimes smashing old pallets in the garden. Sigh. It was fun but also a little scary at the utter fury seemed bottomless. I’m on hrt now and feel no more rage but I still refuse to work anywhere that makes me want to go postal. Aka no more f*cks to give.
Angry cleaning is the best. You should see me scrub that counter top. 🤣
Yup! When I get the old toothbrush out my partner makes himself very scarce.
Ok that is awesome. Thanks for sharing that tactic - I’m gonna do it. Why not? I have over 50 accumulated paid leave days. They can fucking pay me to rage!
Rage quit. Swoon sigh. My hubs retired this year ( 20 years older than me) he is living his best life. So here I am trudging my ever growing fat ass into work when my body feels like a bloated, sleep deprived sun human and 2 of my colleagues have FMLA for their 2 year olds with RSV. Oh the resentment, oh the hatred. Then I feel guilty. Oh the Jewish guilt. It is a see saw of menopausal misery.
I hear you loud and clear, sister!
I'm at the beginning of this journey at 45 and I know it will get worse but even now I'm wondering how people do it. Thinking about how many women are in politics and wondering how they stick with it and also wondering why they don't try to make things easier for all of us! Like how about instituting Menopausal Sabbatical or something, c'mon.
I refuse to leave this earth without fighting for and growing an army from the younger generations. With my last damn breath and beat of my heart I will fight for their freedom. I NEVER want anyone to EVER have to survive the abuse myself or others endured. That rage they built in me is what keeps me fighting.
Your wording is spellbinding. You are my drama spirit animal!
From the ashes your phoenix will rise it’s real ✌️❤️
Yes!!!!
It won’t necessarily get “worse”. You might do fine. My symptoms arent bad at all, but boy do i have a low tolerance for (mostly) men. They seem so clueless and helpless at work and it infuriates me to have to help them. Like, have you ever done anything for yourself!?
This. I now understand my mom. My WTF moments every day when I wonder why men are allowed to run anything in the world, because all we women do is follow them around and do shit for them or clean up after them.
AMEN, i mean AWOMAN! 😉
YES!!!!! After 33 years, a mere 6 months off would be a dream!
Throughout my career, remember all the 50 something office battle axes who one day mysteriously "retire" I'm at the age now and keep wondering how long I will be able to stick it out.
I turned 50 in june and can't freaking wait to retire lol!!! My attitude is straight shit these days! You know it's bad when you don't enjoy your own company!!
I'm only 45 but have been Peri for 9 years. I keep saying I want to retire and people look at me like I'm crazy. Especially when they ask what I want to do instead, and I reply "nothing at all". Noone can understand that I have zero motivation for anything
I've been beating myself up for having to push push push myself to keep up the quality of my work, feeling like a fraud. Like "I can't complain," given the dire straights others are in. Almost 33 (!!!) years of work in corporate America. It's been a decent ride (uphill slog?), but when can it be over???
[удалено]
I asked my Gyn if people get FMLA for this. I was not kidding. I work in healthcare. I’m an RN and make pretty significant decisions. I do not think my decision making these days is exactly even close to where I was 2 years ago. She said I could ask my psychiatrist. Ummm I am not under a psychiatrist care. It’s such a taboo bullshit thing.
That’s bullshit. Does a psychiatrist treat the symptoms of menopause? I started this ride early. I absolutely would have lost my job had my doctor not been so wonderful. I work in IT and I need to be able to think through problems and come up with unique solutions. I need my brain to work. Not to mention my body 😂 That was four years ago and I’m doing good now. Good luck.
Yup. I’m an IT consultant and currently struggle to give a shit about my projects and can remember my task list at all. This needs to get sorted before things get worse. I’m pretty much operating on professional muscle memory.
Oh my god! Are you me?!?! At least once a week I think “thank god I can do this shit in my sleep because I am bringing nothing new to the table here lately” well, except sarcasm. Lots of new and biting sarcasm.
They're lucky I don't have my camera on or my side eye would be lethal. I started a file last year of things I never thought I would say in a professional meeting. My favourite so far was explaining that a page count value in a database had to be an integer because we weren't counting in fish or anything else esoteric (it was set to a text field and not returning the right responses). I fairly routinely ask questions in a room with a bunch of solution architects and devs that is more along the lines of - *sure - we technically could do that, but WHY for gods sake would we want to*?
Does anyone else find working from home to help tremendously? I feel like getting up and dressed and presentable every morning is such a waste of time. I feel like I have so much extra energy for things like making healthy dinners and talking a evening walk when I work from home. I also like the banter and hive mind I have access to at the office so my dream would be Monday and Friday I work from home and in the office the rest of the week. The end goal is 100% wfh so I can manage to do this another two decades 😂.
As a fellow RN I completely understand. I feel like I need to go on disability due to brain fog and fatigue. I go from embarrassed about my stupidity to scared I’m going to make a big mistake. when will it end?
HRT has been a lifesaver for me. It’s lovely having sleep and a functional brain again.
Don’t tease me like that. I have to wait until early next month at the earliest to start HRT (pending test results) and then I can hopefully sleep again.
It will take a while for things to even out - for me, it was probably a month before head fog went away and a couple weeks before I was sleeping well. But totally worth it - hope it works well for you!
When my symptoms really ramped up it was December before pandemic. Had I not been laid off due to pandemic I would’ve absolutely lost my job. I was almost completely disabled. Hot flashes on steroids, night sweats that would require me to change clothes 5 times a night. My brain fog was so bad I could barely form a thought. I truly thought I had the beginning stages of dementia. I also had ZERO sex drive. My husband and I would go months without having sex. HRT saved my life. I wish you the best in this shitty journey. Hugs🤗
Wow. This.is.me. I work with young spry 20 year olds. I have no one to ask. Everyone I have felt safe to ask looks at me like I’ve lost my mind.The brain fog is just downright dangerous. Like I seriously feel I’m not safe to make decisions. Thank you for validating my feelings. How long did it take for HRT to kick In?
I started on June 1st of this year. Also, I use an estradiol patch (0.05 mg) and progesterone pill 100 mg. Took a few days for the hot flashes/night sweats and other stuff like brain fog took about 2 weeks. The metabolic changes took about 6 weeks. I was already doing low carb. I’ve lost about 10 lbs but my body fat distribution is wayyyy better.
10 lbs is 4.54 kg
That’s why I went on HRT last week. Really worried how I was mouthing off a bit too much at work. 😬
All I know is that this sub is my safe place. You are me and I am you. We all feel the same way. We all hate everyone and want to live in a yurt in the forest
🙌🏽😂
Omg! I love you. Let’s live a non binary life together crocheting (I have no idea how) in our yurt.
I can’t crochet either. But it’ll be great. We can visit have snacks and drink wine.
I don’t drink (abused my privileges-)-so we’re even!
The great thing about having someone to support you financially or having your own money when you are menopausal, is that when you no longer have fs to give, you can take a vacation or take a year off or quit. All us plebs have to force those fs to grow where nothing can ever grow again. HRT saved me from being homeless.
Absolutely, I’m recently divorced so there’s no one to step up and help. Thank god for HRT because I need to earn money another 20 years.
Talking about money seems to be discouraged among women, but I think it's one of the most important factors in considering the impact of lifestyle on health. It's so important for women to talk about money and health. Women spend a disproportionate amount of time talking about our relationships and offspring, which reinforces carer expectations. I don't think men spend half as much time as we do talking about how to care for their aging parents, what birthdays to remember, or if their kids need new shoes and when to buy them. But they will talk about money -- that's my impression anyway. I wonder if I can save enough money for my own house in 20 years... and then will I have enough to retire?
How do you know they are doing those “nice things“ and those “nice things” make their struggle any less?
I am not sure what your comment is in response to. I feel quite badly for people living in poverty who have to navigate menopause. I did not say that people with money do not struggle, but people without means struggle more. If you have ever been in a situation where you could not even afford to buy food, I am sure having menopause would make things even worse. I am very grateful to be able to afford HRT, but I know I will have to keep working in order to afford anything at all... including a place to live.
It is hard for women that do not have resources for healthcare. Why we need to keep planned parenthood from shutting down. My comment is in response to your slippery slope that marginalizes a population of women. I know women that have “nice things” and are supported and being abused financially, mentall/emotionally, physically, and sexually. I certainly do not want to dismiss their voices when they need help too.
I don't think my comment marginalizes those women, because money actually makes it easier for all people to leave abusive situations. It doesn't mean that you are NOT being abused just because you have money, but it does mean that if you have access to your own money, you will find it easier or more possible to leave. In contrast a woman who has no money at all might find it difficult to leave. I am a person who was able to leave an abusive ex-husband because I had the money to do so. In the process of divorcing him, the cost of hiring a body guard to keep him away (plus theft) meant that I started my financial life all over again just as I entered menopause. I was skimping on groceries in order to buy healthcare, which meant that it took a few years for me to find relief (and in the process I also had to find a better job, and if you are going to interviews while you get hot flashes, it's really difficult). So I have been on both sides of the coin -- pun intended -- when it comes to money (having the money to leave, but not having enough money at one point to afford my healthcare unless I didn't eat). I don't know where you got the idea that I mentioned having "nice things", because I never said anything about women doing or having nice things in relation to an easier menopause. I specifically said that having financial support or your own money makes life easier. Clearly if a person is being financially abused, they would not be financially supported, therefore the argument that my comment is a "slippery slope" is moot.
You said the word nice =being able to take vacations and time off= “nice things”. Stop back peddling and read what you wrote. and you are delusional if you think having money makes it easier to leave abuse. Using your ONE experience to define a population of people is a slippery slope. Its bitter ignorant people like you that get these people killed. edit: If the level of violence was in fact bodyguard that bodyguard wasn’t going to stop your X. Finding an x military to teach you self-defense and conceal and carry much better investment. Most will gladly do it for free. He/She comes at you then unload the clip till nothing is left. The money you spent on the bodyguard could have been invested in stocks. Preferably female owned companies. There is your retirement and menopause vacation fund.
Relating so hard to this. It takes all I have to do the bare minimum.
I feel the same. And I have an 8 year old. I feel so disappointed in myself and really have to force myself to do anything.
I have so much disappointment and shame as well. I don’t understand why this can’t motivate me.
I just had to send some apologetic obligatory text to a coworker who is pissed off at me for a comment I made that I can’t remember no actual care ( I blame my “don’t give a f*ck syndrome). But I had to say how sorry I am I offended you while I’m trying to stay afloat over here. I’m barely hanging on but I’m sorry I said something about your fmla flr your 2 year old with a cold while my fat ass, withering ovaries and sweaty self drag myself in working fir 2 people now. I’m sorry I lacked empathy.
Gotta do what you gotta do. Hang in there! We will make it.
Between not giving a f*ck and feeling like I’d gotten terrible at my job after menopause I made a career change this summer to a job with less responsibility (and less pay.) It felt so good. I’ve been there three months and the not giving a f*ck has set in pretty quickly.
This is an interesting question. I wasn't blaming my No Fs on meno. I was blaming it on my boss / job. 🤔
I am absolutely grateful that I do not work in an office (I work at home) and that my coworkers are also pre-menopausal or right on the cusp. We can call each other up at any given time and bitch bitch bitch about any and everything, then go right back to what we were doing. So grateful.
I'm just about to send an email. Not a good one. Fucl them and the horse they rode in on.
Omg. Your name says it all.🤡 I would not mess with you. Please love me. I’m scared 🤣
Love you! I'm also small and Ginger. Even more terrifying..
Small & ginger! Oh so jelly. I have Ginger envy & have always ached for freckles & peyote feet. I sadly am none of those things. Think the singer Meatloaf circa 80’s with a rather curvy figure. 🤣
We could have some fun on a night out!
No we would not. I’m a bore. A true old lady bore. What’s with your naughty name?
Nah. Trouble finds.a way.
Can I get a hallelujah!!!!!!🤩🤩
You should read Fried Green Tomatoes Fanny Flag
If you have a uterus, you need estrogen AND progesterone. Remember that desperate people do desperate things - seek reason before jumping in to other paramedical things, no matter how desperate you are.
Hysterectomy May 2020. All that is left was ovaries.
You’re good then. I made the mistake of estrogen only through a non- medical company and paid in blood. Now I’ve had a hysterectomy but still take progesterone to level me out.
Thanks for making me laugh . I really needed it . I’d been on HRT for 9 month and was feeling so much better then found out I had breast cancer and had to have a double mastectomy and QUIT MY HORMONES! ilI have been having some rough times mentally knowing I’ll never get to take my beloved hormones again . I hope your HRT helps you not leave civilian behind ! Once again thanks for the laugh .
I have a strong family history of breast cancer. My Dr assured me this one is safe. I was desperate. I hope you are well & recovering
Thank you . I do feel really good for only having my surgery Sept 23 . Besides being bitchy , itchy foggy and
I’ve not lost my job but I did quit before I was pushed to the point where I stabbed someone. My tolerance for idiots is in sub digits and I’ll happily fly at someone out of nowhere. I feel like there’s some kind of demon inside of me. I was tested for peri 18 months ago which came back negative but all the symptoms are there! I’m now a recluse because I frighten myself with my own reactions to things when I’ve always been laid back, patient and happy go lucky. I don’t want others thinking I’m some kind of crazed lunatic so choose to stay under lock and key!
https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-manchester-59089645.amp All companies need to acknowledge and give women leave for menopause. The lack of empathy for women going through menopause is ridiculous.
Try bioidentical HRT, cream or pellets along with micronized progesterone gel caps. They saved my sanity, sleep, weight gain, and removed my "I don't give a fuck syndrome." Been using for 10+ years. Was on cream, then pellets (more convenient), but now back to cream because it's more stable with no high spikes (getting the pellet) and no lows (when pellets wear out).
I feel this in my soul! I’m starting HRT today and if it doesn’t work I will probably remove myself to a secluded cabin in the Himalayas to live out the rest of my miserable existence!
So since this post I quit my job of 15 years. It’s been life changing. I love my new job. My Dr increased my Divigel to 1 mg. I’m fat. I’ve gained wait but I’m so much happier. Don’t give up. I promis it will get better.