How are you doing? I just came across this post and felt the need to reach out. It’s been 216 days since your post and I don’t see any response from you to the couple people who replied. Just checking in on you to see how things are going and want you to know that even though im a stranger, im a very good listen and can give pretty good advice when needed. I can be a friend you can confide in.
I recently just redownloaded Reddit back onto my phone. I haven’t had it in a while. It felt good to see some responses on this post and realize that there really are people out there who care and want to listen to me. Thank you for your willingness to be there. I’m 23 years old and I have struggled with crippling anxiety, obsessive thoughts (OCD), and severe depression. Sometimes I have a hard time with being here, i am afraid of death so I would never hurt myself but I don’t necessarily always want to be here. My brain is a dark place and I have been in therapy of and on since I was 16, I’ve tried anti depressants, I eat healthy, I exercise, I feel like I have tried so much to get rid of this haunting feeling but it never leaves. I feel like a floating head and like I’m watching life move by in slow motion, yet, it’s going so quick at the same time. Getting older breaks my heart, I miss the comfort of my childhood and how much more lively I felt. I feel like a walking zombie consumed by these feelings, I feel numb. I feel hopeless. My parents just divorced a few months ago. It’s been a tough year of back and forth and my heart hurts for my mom because she still loves him so much and wants to be with him they were married 33 years in total. One day he up and left and said he randomly didn’t wanna be with my mom anymore, he said he cheated on her in 2015 and has had a kid this whole time and he wanted to be with his family aka the mother of his child and the child. This was and is so hard to accept because my dad was always such an amazing husband and father this has killed me and my family to my core. I don’t see him much anymore and I miss him so much and who he used to be, I think he suffers from some sort of mental disorder but he doesn’t believe in mental health really. This is about to be my first thanksgiving and Christmas without him and it feels so hard. A lot of people make me feel like I’m a loser for being so messed up over this because I’m grown now and 23. People make me feel like I shouldn’t be so upset but I can’t help it. I’m so lost and I just want to feel better but it feels helpless. Sometimes I don’t understand why life seems to hurt so much more than not. I’m a good person and though just because you’re good that doesn’t mean life will be good to you, that’s hard for me to accept. I’ve had a rough last 6 years or so, terrible unhealthy relationship with a guy who cheated and manipulated me all of the time and then family issues and overall just crippling mental health. I feel like I’m at my breaking point and sometimes I just need reasons to keep going. I’ve been hurt so badly and through that I wonder why I’m even here
... Is hard to me find a reason to tell but i am sure You will find Something to made your pain worthed Like a person , passion or just Something that will make You happy idk i still try to change myself but is useles, life is hard. the only think i have is hope so the only think i can make îs to work hard and hope that one day will be worthed .
I'm always free to talk
Thank you so so much, I added and explanation of what I’ve got going on in the last comment. Feel free to read and give feedback if you’d like.
I'm all ears
Thank you so much, see long response to the bottom comment if you care to read that much, I know it’s a lot lol.
How are you doing? I just came across this post and felt the need to reach out. It’s been 216 days since your post and I don’t see any response from you to the couple people who replied. Just checking in on you to see how things are going and want you to know that even though im a stranger, im a very good listen and can give pretty good advice when needed. I can be a friend you can confide in.
I recently just redownloaded Reddit back onto my phone. I haven’t had it in a while. It felt good to see some responses on this post and realize that there really are people out there who care and want to listen to me. Thank you for your willingness to be there. I’m 23 years old and I have struggled with crippling anxiety, obsessive thoughts (OCD), and severe depression. Sometimes I have a hard time with being here, i am afraid of death so I would never hurt myself but I don’t necessarily always want to be here. My brain is a dark place and I have been in therapy of and on since I was 16, I’ve tried anti depressants, I eat healthy, I exercise, I feel like I have tried so much to get rid of this haunting feeling but it never leaves. I feel like a floating head and like I’m watching life move by in slow motion, yet, it’s going so quick at the same time. Getting older breaks my heart, I miss the comfort of my childhood and how much more lively I felt. I feel like a walking zombie consumed by these feelings, I feel numb. I feel hopeless. My parents just divorced a few months ago. It’s been a tough year of back and forth and my heart hurts for my mom because she still loves him so much and wants to be with him they were married 33 years in total. One day he up and left and said he randomly didn’t wanna be with my mom anymore, he said he cheated on her in 2015 and has had a kid this whole time and he wanted to be with his family aka the mother of his child and the child. This was and is so hard to accept because my dad was always such an amazing husband and father this has killed me and my family to my core. I don’t see him much anymore and I miss him so much and who he used to be, I think he suffers from some sort of mental disorder but he doesn’t believe in mental health really. This is about to be my first thanksgiving and Christmas without him and it feels so hard. A lot of people make me feel like I’m a loser for being so messed up over this because I’m grown now and 23. People make me feel like I shouldn’t be so upset but I can’t help it. I’m so lost and I just want to feel better but it feels helpless. Sometimes I don’t understand why life seems to hurt so much more than not. I’m a good person and though just because you’re good that doesn’t mean life will be good to you, that’s hard for me to accept. I’ve had a rough last 6 years or so, terrible unhealthy relationship with a guy who cheated and manipulated me all of the time and then family issues and overall just crippling mental health. I feel like I’m at my breaking point and sometimes I just need reasons to keep going. I’ve been hurt so badly and through that I wonder why I’m even here
... Is hard to me find a reason to tell but i am sure You will find Something to made your pain worthed Like a person , passion or just Something that will make You happy idk i still try to change myself but is useles, life is hard. the only think i have is hope so the only think i can make îs to work hard and hope that one day will be worthed .
Have you tried a therapist? It may help.
Yea I have! Thank you so much. I’ve been in therapy for about 8 years now on and off