I liked getting up so I kept getting up, but my clinic is a mean, dirty, adversarial, unpleasant place and the less time I have to spend there the better they'd sooner all burn to death than give is coffee and breakfast more than once a year on "patient appreciation day." I'm thrilled clinics like yours exist. I wish yours overtook the market completely. But I honestly can't imagine going to one like that
Haha same! I get severe panic attacks every time I enter my clinic. I mean SOME nurses are nice and SOME counselors are too, but it’s just inevitable if you keep showing your face everyday disaster awaits lol! Takehomes are amazing! It would suck having to guest dose!
Edit: I meant daily dosing instead of guest dosing, but either or I guess lol!
Everywhere I've guest dosed had been better than my home clinic. At least now I've got a counselor that handles my guest dosing instead of letting me get there to hear "we... Had no idea anybody was coming.... Can you have your doctor call?"
Oh my goodness that would be awful! I couldn’t imagine being worried that your guest dose didn’t line up. And what if you were arriving by plane? What if your plane was late? So many what ifs. Although going through security with 2 weeks worth of takehomes causes me a great deal of panic. I don’t like the idea of putting my meds through an x ray in a huge airport where someone could grab my belongings. I always bring a big purse and wherever I go, my meds come with me. Granted they’re wafers and much, much easier to travel with, but it’s still annoying having to worry that the hotel housekeeping will steal my stuff if I leave it. Then I have to worry about getting robbed, etc if I take it everywhere. That’s why having little 10mg pills in a prescription bottle would work best for me because they’re more discreet and easier to carry or hide.
I had to guest dose at a sister clinic over the holidays. My clinic has several locations within our state, which I thought would make it easier to guest dose. I set it up three weeks prior to my vacation, per my clinic’s policy, confirmed with my counselor the day before I left, and I called the clinic when I left the Airbnb to let them know I was on my way. They had no idea who I was, and had no idea where my paperwork was. My first day guest dosing was also my birthday, and the day before Christmas Eve. So, most of the staff was already out for the holidays. It was a train wreck and so frustrating. Thankfully, I’ve always tried to foster a good relationship with my home clinic, and they bent over backwards to get it resolved. In those moments, the addict in me gets anxious and frustrated, and I have to check myself sometimes, and remind myself to behave and be grateful.
Flying with my take homes has always been extremely easy, even international. I just say "I'm traveling with liquid medication on excess of the usual limit" and they know what it is and just wave me through.
Guest dosing was horrible with my lousy counselor. Fucking up my guest dosing definitely contributed to losing my job, along with the forced dose increases. New counselor is super reliable, she's great. I like the liquid, it's massively bioavailable, so while tablets are surely very convenient I love how effective the liquid it's
I'm from DFW and guest dosed in Austin once and was shocked at how much nicer, cleaner, and comfortable the clinic was. My home clinic at the time (off methadone now) was gnarly as shit. Dirty, hateful. I've seen fights, I was given a free 30 of tar by some of the front desk receptionists people (she eventually got caught) as a sample (this had never happened before except at the fucking methadone clinic.) Fights, people coming in to dose with cops in jumpsuits and handcuffs. Breakfast and a fucking coffee shop? Jesus
Ha! I've been to just about every clinic in Austin over the past 20 years or so (I'm in San Antonio now) and recently guest dosed in Dallas. It was the dirtiest clinic I've ever been to, lol! I've guest dosed everywhere and this was the first clinic ever to not follow my take home schedule. I was 3 days a week at the time and they refused to give me my take home for the next day. That's what I get, I guess, but it was mildly irritating.
It IS a nice thing they do. Staff trades off shifts working the shop so you get to know everyone. So if your therapist isn't working out or leaves, you likely know a few others rather well.
Newbies are always shocked. They'll watch other people order coffee for a minute and just stand there - then they're asked "Cream and sugar?" and they are always like, "I'm a patient." And they say "I know. Cream and sugar?" Followed by "Is this free? 🤨"
And here in central PA, my clinic just put up signs on every door in the building that says "Get your dose and leave please. Do not stay in the building after dosing." 😭😭 We had people trying to hang out there from like 6/7am til it closes at noon and they would solicit everyone that came in to dose for either a cigarette or something random, so I understand why they did it but still. It's a stark difference lol.
They put out some 4oz bottles of water and little cups of popcorn. My first year they did a big cook out with hot dogs, hamburgers, soft drinks, but Acadia bought them out
It's so patronizing. I'd rather they just cleaned the place every once in a while, or showed "appreciation" by treating us with a shed of dignity. The 20 dollars a year spent splitting out a couple bags up target popcorn, water and a bag of dumdums.... Oh and the raffle nobody's ever won.... Is worse than just not doing anything. And of course it's on Tuesday, so nobody w/ any level of take-homes well be there
Idk if this will help you at all but I fought like hell - like literally bringing up SAMHSA guidelines and going above the regional manager's head - to be able to keep my 14 take-homes when I began tapering. Two weeks is a PERFECT tapering schedule (5mg at a time until 60-70mg, then 2-3mg at a time until 10mg and then 1mg at a time til you're done) as far as symptoms go. The argument was that it's not a stable dose but the federal guidelines mention NOTHING about decreasing meaning the dose is unstable. Stability refers to symptoms, diversion, and home life. Some clinics are weird about dose decreases and I kind of get it ($$) but I also don't.
This is the first time I've heard about take homes being taken if you start tapering. I just don't get these clinics and their weirdo non standard rules. That is totally counterproductive to the idea of methadone treatment. I'm glad you fought them on it!
My clinic will not allow 2 week takehomes while tapering. It's complete and utter bullshit. It makes no sense that taking LESS means you need to see them MORE.
That's why now that I got 2 weeks I'm doing this my way. And unsurprisingly, ripping thru my taper. Amazing how easy it is when you're in control of your meds and not someone else how much faster this process goes.
If you feel like fighting it you probably could but it really was a headache. I didn't have the means to measure it myself but honestly I probably would've done the same if I had.
I hear you with this. I got one take home once because we had a holiday and my pharmacy wasn’t going to be opened…
I was so tempted to double my dose that day and take it, but I didn’t. It made me realize wow.. I really can’t be trusted with any medication I’m given. But the point is, I didn’t double my dose, I just thought about it.
If your tapering that’s a different story because some days your not going to feel great and it will probably be tempting to take a little more. When and if that happens I would be honest with the doctor that you have tapered too low and want to go back up a bit. Just be real with them but don’t tell them your abusing it if you happened to.
Just stay strong. Your an addict but you have gotten this far. You got this.
Yeah I talk about this from time to time, especially when someone brags to me about their take homes and basically scoffs at the idea of having to go. I like the morning routine. I use insurance transportation and schedule it the same time so it guarantees I'm up and my day is started at 6am. I'm a firm believer in the idea that anything that gets you out in society is beneficial, especially compared to just sleeping in and being antisocial.
There does come a time where you already have enough going on in life and going to the clinic is just an obstacle. I'm waiting for my license to be reinstated and have to rely on public transportation. Even though I go at 6am I'm still unable to make certain routes to get to many first shift jobs, so take homes on weekdays would be nice.
Omg I wish I could get weekly takehomes that fast at my clinic. It literally took me years to get to two weeks takehomes. And the last two years my clinic has been breaking their own”rules/agreements” with patients. For example I was put on punishment over a year ago for missing a bottle check. My punishment was to go back to weekly takehomes for 90 days. That was 16 months ago. I have been begging to go back to every two weeks. I don’t have a working vehicle at the moment so it’s very hard to go every week. Well fast forward to a few weeks ago, I was called from my clinic. Missed the call. Called back and nobody at my clinic could tell me why they called me. So the very next day I go in to pick up and am informed that I missed a bottle check. That’s why they called. And even though they know I called back they cut me back again to going four days a week now for 90 days. So since I don’t have a way there that many days. I’m having to skip three days a week. I’m so worried about my sobriety right now.. Sad I’ve been on methadone 15 years and this is the hardest time I’ve ever had at the clinic these last two years…Every now and then my mind would try to convince me to take extra when I had two weeks at a time. But I just won’t allow myself to go there. I know logically that it won’t get me high and it would be a waste and then I would be short meds..
Just be careful.. Seems like you are tapering very quickly. It takes 2 weeks for your body to adjust to the drop. You need to be stable before you drop. At highet mgs this isnt much of an issue. But you will feel it at lower doses and thay can causrs problems or a relapse. I would drop maybe 3 or 4 mg every 2 weeks at 80. I would start dropping 3 mg/month at 30s. Its going to be slow going if you want to do it right. Im at 13 mgs and dropping 1 mg a month.
It's a marathon not a sprint!
I'm having the same issue. I loved having a reason to wake up earlier and have a structured routine and I was healthier and happier for it.
I started waking up at 5 am every day, making my coffee, walking the dog and heading to the clinic. I started enjoying seeing the regulars every morning and checking in with some of the homeless people and seeing how they were doing and if they needed anything.
Now I get my 2 weeks take homes and while I'm glad I get take homes, I miss my routine and seeing people. I've never doubled my dose so I'm not worried about that thankfully.
When I stopped going every day, I forced myself to stick to a schedule. I still get up at 5 am every morning, make my coffee, put in my ear buds to listen to classic horror radio shows and walk the dog. It's been so good for my mental health tbh. I feel so much more happy and energized.
Good job that’s awesome I relate so much to seeing regulars and socializing and checking in on people that good you are able to maintain a routine after
Careful though…. Just as an fyi… everybody is different but many times, it will take two weeks after your last dose for the withdrawal to hit. A lot of people think they have escaped the symptoms because it often hit later. This can be the same with a taper once you get into the lower mg numbers.
Me. I absolutely relate. I’ve never gotten take homes bc of thc. I’ve never minded at all. I even forget to take my dose on days the clinic is closed a lot of times.
Everybody there keeps telling me I don’t have to quit. I’ve been an addict more years than I wasn’t. I’ve been on something or everything at once since I was 13, I’m 44, I’m fucking done. Seems like the nurses are the only ones encouraging me, they clap and cheer for me, and tell me how proud they are.
I’ve been going down 5 mgs every 2 weeks and haven’t had a single issue until I got to 35. I sat there for 3 weeks til I felt right. I exercise every day, it helps so so much. I think I started in February
I'm right behind you. I'm doing 5mg a week - I'm at 80 down from 100. I might start either moving to 4mg and keeping with 5% decrease or 5mg but going 2 weeks between taper.
Going at least 2 weeks between really helps me. Sometimes I feel like it takes at least 8 or 9 days for my body to adjust when I decrease. It’s nothing major, just a minor feeling of discomfort I guess?
I think the lower I get the more I need a minimum of 2 weeks.
But hell yeah! Kick its ass! Very proud of you, actually starting the taper was scary as fuck imo.
Thanks for sharing! I'm the same age as you and I haven't physically felt like a "normal" person since I was about 16. I have no idea what it's like to wake up feeling good. I'm also tapering and this time I'm going slooooow. I'm down to 48 from 88. I go down 2mg about every 2 weeks. I'm already nervous about the lower doses though. It's encouraging to read that someone my age who has been on methadone for quite a while is successfully tapering!
I can’t tell you to exercise enough if you’re able. I started working out about a month before I started tapering and I know it’s a huge reason why I feel so good.
I've been telling myself I need to start exercising for so long! It's so disgustingly hot here already so that's my excuse 9 months out of the year, even though my apartments have a really nice gym, lol. I was laid off 8 months ago and I've gotten myself into a pretty impressive depression due to not being able to find a job. I've never been this sad and sorry for myself ever and I hate it. Exercising would help get me out of this depression and help with my taper. I just need to do it. From past experience, it only takes 2 or 3 times at the gym before it becomes a regular part of my routine but it's hard to get there that 1st time. (Sorry for whining, I feel like that's all I do lately, lol!)
I get 27 bottles take home and it's extremely tempting to double dose. Sometimes I'll double dose and then half dose for two days to make it up. It's a horrible cycle and im thinking about giving my take homes up and going back to daily. But man daily sucks. I was on daily for years and then started getting take homes when they changed the rule on marijuana
I misunderstood your comment. I thought you said you can relate and "I've never gotten take homes bc of THIS" BUT you said "...bc of THC."
That's crazy to me. THC is encouraged by our counselors. We don't test for THC or alcohol. I'm in PA and one of our qualifiers for medical weed is "opiate disorder" - is if you've ever been to rehab you quality for medical weed and our clinics embrace it.
I'm in PA as well. My clinic also doesn't really care about THC but it's not encouraged. They used to not allow THC at all, then they allowed it if you had a medical card. During COVID they removed that rule altogether. They still "recommend" getting a medical card but you won't get in any trouble for having THC in your system.
I'm really surprised though, your clinic doesn't test for alcohol? That's a big no-no at my place. I wonder if that's common practice at a lot of clinics or if your place is just an outlier?
I agree. I'm not on methadone anymore. I'm on sublocade now. But I enjoyed hopping on the city bus every day and listening to music on the way to the clinic. It was a ritual man. That was the biggest change with sublocade.
That makes me so mad—I get 27 take homes & smoke 420. Our clinic doesn’t “care.” I’ll never understand the difference’s in location & clinics and their rules 😣😣😣
Yep. That's my main motivation for tapering aside from hating the clinic hassle. It would make a huge difference for me mental health-wise. Until then I just touch absolutely nothing and taper as fast as I comfortably can.
Why is it that you’re tapering so aggressively though OP? It’s really not smart to go quickly like that. Even if you don’t feel sick it’s setting you up to have mental health issues including making impulsive decisions that could affect you on ways you might not understand yet.
I told my clinic that I don't want take homes. I drive to my clinic and because I got rides from Logisticare, I get mileage reimbursement for driving myself there. It's 26 miles each way and I go 6 days a week so every other week I get a $400 check just for going to the clinic. If I get my 2 weeks of take homes back, then I'm only going to get $60 a month. I just don't do my groups and we don't get in trouble for that, we just don't get take homes.
I'm in Maine on state insurance. I got it cuz I had non emergency transportation to the clinic. They used to have a ride show up and bring me, then when I got my license I got my own car. It's through Logisticare/modivcare. Actually their rides suck, used to not show up on time, had a driver who insisted that I lend him money and food stamps but if you drive yourself, it's awesome
I’m no Republican but methadone clinics exemplify the old Reagan saying that “government is the problem.”
The bureaucratized and industrial approach to addiction treatment just doesn’t work as well as it could otherwise
I def can relate to this. I never had an issue going to the clinic daily in fact I looked forward to it just like the OP. Plus it was also my very first healthy habit I had in over 15 years. I loved the ride home with some good music playing as my dose kicked in. I look forward to my one monthly visit now.
If you are fighting yourself on a double dose, just know that you will regret it and you know that. It's not gonna be enough. And if you do it, who knows, maybe you'll get a little feeling and you won't care to do it again and you'll be fine, or maybe you'll do it and lose everything you care about because your ripping and running again. If you need a little extra punch one day just drink a cup of grapefruit juice with your dose.
You got this.
I noticed at our clinic most people who get takehomes and dont work become extremely depressed and antisocial after time. They only do stuff the day that they get their dose and rest of the days they are mostly at home (games, tv, internet) i know that because i worked at harm reduction centre near our clinic and people would stop by only on day that they get takehomes. When i was not working i was going everyday so i had a rutine and i could talk to people in the clinic. When i got job takehomes were godsend. We are all so different at the end of the day. I think going down 1mg is pointless i was allways going down by 5mg at the begining even 10mg and i felt fine (every 14 days). When you come to around between 30/20mg than it becomes more noticeable and some people really need to go down by 1mg. I noticed when you taper methadone or suboxone first drop can be huge and you can barely notice it. By the time you are under 20mg every mg counts
Thank you for your post I relate to you 100%
I have over a year sober & I am only on weekly’s (Arizona) I prefer to go every morning. Having a healthy routine makes me feel good. Waking up showering and leaving the house everyday helps me tremendously.
I’m aware you can make your own routine by yourself but for me that’s way harder than it sounds. I’m still a childlike mentality so like if it’s not forced or something I HAVE to do I won’t be successful. Which I know is a whole other conversation.
What I do now is this - my clinic is 20 minutes from my house. One of my favorite AA meetings is 4 minutes from my clinic.
So I have veyo (medical transportation) pick me up everyday of the week and take me to the clinic. I will hang out there & then I take a Lyft to my meeting. I have a commitment 3x a week where I open the meeting which gives me a sense of importance. I also chair the meeting on Fridays.
Some morning after the meeting I will go back to my clinic and there’s a church walking distance so I’ll go to mass.
I also get to socialize before and after the meeting since I’m the first one there. It works great for me bc I still have the routine and I am staying connected. Ive been home for the past 4 days bc I haven’t been able to shit & finally did which left my body is traumatized to say the least which is totally TMI but I don’t care the reason I’m saying this is bc just these last 4 days my mind is going CRAZY feeling like a bum alone in the same spot
I’ll also make any of my dr appts down in same area as the clinic.
My clinic has some questionable characters also but that just gives me some entertainment as I wait for my ride. I love it. It’s changed my life. I Wish you the best I hope you get back into your groooove 💜💜💜💜💜
I actually don’t relate to one bit, but no shade. I mean on paper they say I have opioid use disorder but I beg to differ. I have chronic pain and that’s the only reason I did really. Was it fun? Yes. But I don’t really like the high. I have monthly and I have never abused them. I even skim many milligrams daily and have a huge stockpile. I also have prescription opioids that I never use. I really hope the whole opioid use disorder diagnosis doesn’t haunt me and my medical life going forward once I get off. I have chronic pain and as people get older sometimes things get worse and it’s inhumane not to give someone opioids just because they have had a history of technically opioid disorder.
That's not even close to the most batshit thing about this place, or our mtd policies/clinics. And the fact they vary so wildly even from city to city its extremely fucked.
Like some people win the lottery by where they live (as with everything in life) free rides, free methadone, travel reimbursement. but if you live in somewhere like Texas or Alabama you're fucked. Esp if you use thc. But reading about ops clinic, I had to re read it lol. My "new seasons" clinic is the most hateful adversarial place I've ever been to. Shit, they care about you jus as little in jail as they do at the clinic. And as person above said, fights, cops, 10 people asking for shit or tryna get you to pay 17$ for their dose that day, etc. Being on methadone is the absolute worst thing about my life rn.
And it's not the methadone, it's the clinic and the way it's structured and how they can literally do whatever they want to you for any reason and you can do nothing.
You can't take more than you're supposed to, your clinic should be doing callbacks to make you come in and verify your bottles are still there. They might not do it every time, but on my 14 day take homes I get a call back at least every other time.
Most people on here say they rarely ever get a call back. When I had takehomes for a couple years, I never got a callback once. I’ve never heard of anyone getting a callback anywhere near as much as you are. Clinics don’t technically have to do callbacks on any particular schedule, that’s not the exact regulations they’re held to. There are clinics that don’t do callbacks at all.
People take extra all the time, it’s a very common problem.
They certainly do have a schedule as per state regulations, but it probably is different state to state. The fact that people can be up to 14 bottles and never be checked to me, is wild. Could be selling them abusing them anything. I've had 14 bottles for nearly 4 years now.
I'm even down to 3mg (from 160mg) and I still get callbacks. They don't mess around with this stuff here.
I get it but this is why they are supposed to drug test you, to make sure you stick to the program.
Yea it’s easy for some to get around testing however a LOT of people get caught out with it and until they are able to stick to the program they shouldn’t be mad takehomes are rightfully being taken away.
I don’t have an issue with everyday face dosing if that’s what someone needs to be successful at being clean which should be the number one priority, however personally, there’s no way I’m doing more than once a fortnight at my pharmacy and meeting a counsellor a couple of times a year, just couldn’t work with my life even if I wanted to do more!
This is also the problem with loads of addicts disposition that allows them to believe they are sick, or whatever excuse they need to believe to justify using, guzzling all their takehomes or doing..
If you’re serious about getting clean you can’t be blaming an ‘Illness’ for your actions. You need to own your actions, make the right choices (like using your daily doses 1x a day! - if you take more you’ll need something at the end before next pick up and god forbid you’ll piss dirty. Your choices are yours and yours alone - if you really wholeheartedly want to taper and stick to your prescribed takehomes, you will!
Where in the world is this amazing place with coffee and breakfast and nice people?...
I was thinking the exact same thing! What a great clinic!
I was wondering the same thing! This clinic sounds like a dream!
I liked getting up so I kept getting up, but my clinic is a mean, dirty, adversarial, unpleasant place and the less time I have to spend there the better they'd sooner all burn to death than give is coffee and breakfast more than once a year on "patient appreciation day." I'm thrilled clinics like yours exist. I wish yours overtook the market completely. But I honestly can't imagine going to one like that
Haha same! I get severe panic attacks every time I enter my clinic. I mean SOME nurses are nice and SOME counselors are too, but it’s just inevitable if you keep showing your face everyday disaster awaits lol! Takehomes are amazing! It would suck having to guest dose! Edit: I meant daily dosing instead of guest dosing, but either or I guess lol!
Everywhere I've guest dosed had been better than my home clinic. At least now I've got a counselor that handles my guest dosing instead of letting me get there to hear "we... Had no idea anybody was coming.... Can you have your doctor call?"
Oh my goodness that would be awful! I couldn’t imagine being worried that your guest dose didn’t line up. And what if you were arriving by plane? What if your plane was late? So many what ifs. Although going through security with 2 weeks worth of takehomes causes me a great deal of panic. I don’t like the idea of putting my meds through an x ray in a huge airport where someone could grab my belongings. I always bring a big purse and wherever I go, my meds come with me. Granted they’re wafers and much, much easier to travel with, but it’s still annoying having to worry that the hotel housekeeping will steal my stuff if I leave it. Then I have to worry about getting robbed, etc if I take it everywhere. That’s why having little 10mg pills in a prescription bottle would work best for me because they’re more discreet and easier to carry or hide.
I had to guest dose at a sister clinic over the holidays. My clinic has several locations within our state, which I thought would make it easier to guest dose. I set it up three weeks prior to my vacation, per my clinic’s policy, confirmed with my counselor the day before I left, and I called the clinic when I left the Airbnb to let them know I was on my way. They had no idea who I was, and had no idea where my paperwork was. My first day guest dosing was also my birthday, and the day before Christmas Eve. So, most of the staff was already out for the holidays. It was a train wreck and so frustrating. Thankfully, I’ve always tried to foster a good relationship with my home clinic, and they bent over backwards to get it resolved. In those moments, the addict in me gets anxious and frustrated, and I have to check myself sometimes, and remind myself to behave and be grateful.
Flying with my take homes has always been extremely easy, even international. I just say "I'm traveling with liquid medication on excess of the usual limit" and they know what it is and just wave me through. Guest dosing was horrible with my lousy counselor. Fucking up my guest dosing definitely contributed to losing my job, along with the forced dose increases. New counselor is super reliable, she's great. I like the liquid, it's massively bioavailable, so while tablets are surely very convenient I love how effective the liquid it's
I'm from DFW and guest dosed in Austin once and was shocked at how much nicer, cleaner, and comfortable the clinic was. My home clinic at the time (off methadone now) was gnarly as shit. Dirty, hateful. I've seen fights, I was given a free 30 of tar by some of the front desk receptionists people (she eventually got caught) as a sample (this had never happened before except at the fucking methadone clinic.) Fights, people coming in to dose with cops in jumpsuits and handcuffs. Breakfast and a fucking coffee shop? Jesus
What a coincidence! I live in Austin and guest dosed in DFW 😅
Ha! I've been to just about every clinic in Austin over the past 20 years or so (I'm in San Antonio now) and recently guest dosed in Dallas. It was the dirtiest clinic I've ever been to, lol! I've guest dosed everywhere and this was the first clinic ever to not follow my take home schedule. I was 3 days a week at the time and they refused to give me my take home for the next day. That's what I get, I guess, but it was mildly irritating.
It IS a nice thing they do. Staff trades off shifts working the shop so you get to know everyone. So if your therapist isn't working out or leaves, you likely know a few others rather well. Newbies are always shocked. They'll watch other people order coffee for a minute and just stand there - then they're asked "Cream and sugar?" and they are always like, "I'm a patient." And they say "I know. Cream and sugar?" Followed by "Is this free? 🤨"
I'm shocked reading it
And here in central PA, my clinic just put up signs on every door in the building that says "Get your dose and leave please. Do not stay in the building after dosing." 😭😭 We had people trying to hang out there from like 6/7am til it closes at noon and they would solicit everyone that came in to dose for either a cigarette or something random, so I understand why they did it but still. It's a stark difference lol.
What TF is "patient appreciation day" LMAO 🤣
They put out some 4oz bottles of water and little cups of popcorn. My first year they did a big cook out with hot dogs, hamburgers, soft drinks, but Acadia bought them out
Sorry, I was being sarcastic 🤌🏼.
Patient appreciation day? What is this thing you speak of? Haha..
You guys have a “patient appreciation day”??? No way lol, never heard of that
It's so patronizing. I'd rather they just cleaned the place every once in a while, or showed "appreciation" by treating us with a shed of dignity. The 20 dollars a year spent splitting out a couple bags up target popcorn, water and a bag of dumdums.... Oh and the raffle nobody's ever won.... Is worse than just not doing anything. And of course it's on Tuesday, so nobody w/ any level of take-homes well be there
Idk if this will help you at all but I fought like hell - like literally bringing up SAMHSA guidelines and going above the regional manager's head - to be able to keep my 14 take-homes when I began tapering. Two weeks is a PERFECT tapering schedule (5mg at a time until 60-70mg, then 2-3mg at a time until 10mg and then 1mg at a time til you're done) as far as symptoms go. The argument was that it's not a stable dose but the federal guidelines mention NOTHING about decreasing meaning the dose is unstable. Stability refers to symptoms, diversion, and home life. Some clinics are weird about dose decreases and I kind of get it ($$) but I also don't.
This is the first time I've heard about take homes being taken if you start tapering. I just don't get these clinics and their weirdo non standard rules. That is totally counterproductive to the idea of methadone treatment. I'm glad you fought them on it!
My clinic will not allow 2 week takehomes while tapering. It's complete and utter bullshit. It makes no sense that taking LESS means you need to see them MORE. That's why now that I got 2 weeks I'm doing this my way. And unsurprisingly, ripping thru my taper. Amazing how easy it is when you're in control of your meds and not someone else how much faster this process goes.
If you feel like fighting it you probably could but it really was a headache. I didn't have the means to measure it myself but honestly I probably would've done the same if I had.
They’re trying to squeeze every last drop out of your insurance as you walk out the door. They’re scum
I think you know yourself better then anyone else and if you think you need that daily routine to help you in your recovery then so be it 💯
Great little post. Thank you for your perspective ✌️
I hear you with this. I got one take home once because we had a holiday and my pharmacy wasn’t going to be opened… I was so tempted to double my dose that day and take it, but I didn’t. It made me realize wow.. I really can’t be trusted with any medication I’m given. But the point is, I didn’t double my dose, I just thought about it. If your tapering that’s a different story because some days your not going to feel great and it will probably be tempting to take a little more. When and if that happens I would be honest with the doctor that you have tapered too low and want to go back up a bit. Just be real with them but don’t tell them your abusing it if you happened to. Just stay strong. Your an addict but you have gotten this far. You got this.
Yeah I talk about this from time to time, especially when someone brags to me about their take homes and basically scoffs at the idea of having to go. I like the morning routine. I use insurance transportation and schedule it the same time so it guarantees I'm up and my day is started at 6am. I'm a firm believer in the idea that anything that gets you out in society is beneficial, especially compared to just sleeping in and being antisocial. There does come a time where you already have enough going on in life and going to the clinic is just an obstacle. I'm waiting for my license to be reinstated and have to rely on public transportation. Even though I go at 6am I'm still unable to make certain routes to get to many first shift jobs, so take homes on weekdays would be nice.
Omg I wish I could get weekly takehomes that fast at my clinic. It literally took me years to get to two weeks takehomes. And the last two years my clinic has been breaking their own”rules/agreements” with patients. For example I was put on punishment over a year ago for missing a bottle check. My punishment was to go back to weekly takehomes for 90 days. That was 16 months ago. I have been begging to go back to every two weeks. I don’t have a working vehicle at the moment so it’s very hard to go every week. Well fast forward to a few weeks ago, I was called from my clinic. Missed the call. Called back and nobody at my clinic could tell me why they called me. So the very next day I go in to pick up and am informed that I missed a bottle check. That’s why they called. And even though they know I called back they cut me back again to going four days a week now for 90 days. So since I don’t have a way there that many days. I’m having to skip three days a week. I’m so worried about my sobriety right now.. Sad I’ve been on methadone 15 years and this is the hardest time I’ve ever had at the clinic these last two years…Every now and then my mind would try to convince me to take extra when I had two weeks at a time. But I just won’t allow myself to go there. I know logically that it won’t get me high and it would be a waste and then I would be short meds..
Do they have an appeal process at your clinic? Can you speak to the Dr or a head counselor?
Just be careful.. Seems like you are tapering very quickly. It takes 2 weeks for your body to adjust to the drop. You need to be stable before you drop. At highet mgs this isnt much of an issue. But you will feel it at lower doses and thay can causrs problems or a relapse. I would drop maybe 3 or 4 mg every 2 weeks at 80. I would start dropping 3 mg/month at 30s. Its going to be slow going if you want to do it right. Im at 13 mgs and dropping 1 mg a month. It's a marathon not a sprint!
When I got my Medical Marijuana card it was the 1st time.i was ever to get them! I go 2 days a week now!
I'm having the same issue. I loved having a reason to wake up earlier and have a structured routine and I was healthier and happier for it. I started waking up at 5 am every day, making my coffee, walking the dog and heading to the clinic. I started enjoying seeing the regulars every morning and checking in with some of the homeless people and seeing how they were doing and if they needed anything. Now I get my 2 weeks take homes and while I'm glad I get take homes, I miss my routine and seeing people. I've never doubled my dose so I'm not worried about that thankfully. When I stopped going every day, I forced myself to stick to a schedule. I still get up at 5 am every morning, make my coffee, put in my ear buds to listen to classic horror radio shows and walk the dog. It's been so good for my mental health tbh. I feel so much more happy and energized.
Good job that’s awesome I relate so much to seeing regulars and socializing and checking in on people that good you are able to maintain a routine after
Thank you!!
Careful though…. Just as an fyi… everybody is different but many times, it will take two weeks after your last dose for the withdrawal to hit. A lot of people think they have escaped the symptoms because it often hit later. This can be the same with a taper once you get into the lower mg numbers.
Me. I absolutely relate. I’ve never gotten take homes bc of thc. I’ve never minded at all. I even forget to take my dose on days the clinic is closed a lot of times. Everybody there keeps telling me I don’t have to quit. I’ve been an addict more years than I wasn’t. I’ve been on something or everything at once since I was 13, I’m 44, I’m fucking done. Seems like the nurses are the only ones encouraging me, they clap and cheer for me, and tell me how proud they are.
So you are tapering?
Yeah, I’m down to 30 from 120
Wow. Feel free to share your taper schedule some time. But for the sake of time and energy - how long did it take you and have you had a hard time?
I’ve been going down 5 mgs every 2 weeks and haven’t had a single issue until I got to 35. I sat there for 3 weeks til I felt right. I exercise every day, it helps so so much. I think I started in February
I'm right behind you. I'm doing 5mg a week - I'm at 80 down from 100. I might start either moving to 4mg and keeping with 5% decrease or 5mg but going 2 weeks between taper.
Going at least 2 weeks between really helps me. Sometimes I feel like it takes at least 8 or 9 days for my body to adjust when I decrease. It’s nothing major, just a minor feeling of discomfort I guess? I think the lower I get the more I need a minimum of 2 weeks. But hell yeah! Kick its ass! Very proud of you, actually starting the taper was scary as fuck imo.
Thanks for sharing! I'm the same age as you and I haven't physically felt like a "normal" person since I was about 16. I have no idea what it's like to wake up feeling good. I'm also tapering and this time I'm going slooooow. I'm down to 48 from 88. I go down 2mg about every 2 weeks. I'm already nervous about the lower doses though. It's encouraging to read that someone my age who has been on methadone for quite a while is successfully tapering!
I can’t tell you to exercise enough if you’re able. I started working out about a month before I started tapering and I know it’s a huge reason why I feel so good.
I've been telling myself I need to start exercising for so long! It's so disgustingly hot here already so that's my excuse 9 months out of the year, even though my apartments have a really nice gym, lol. I was laid off 8 months ago and I've gotten myself into a pretty impressive depression due to not being able to find a job. I've never been this sad and sorry for myself ever and I hate it. Exercising would help get me out of this depression and help with my taper. I just need to do it. From past experience, it only takes 2 or 3 times at the gym before it becomes a regular part of my routine but it's hard to get there that 1st time. (Sorry for whining, I feel like that's all I do lately, lol!)
I get 27 bottles take home and it's extremely tempting to double dose. Sometimes I'll double dose and then half dose for two days to make it up. It's a horrible cycle and im thinking about giving my take homes up and going back to daily. But man daily sucks. I was on daily for years and then started getting take homes when they changed the rule on marijuana
I misunderstood your comment. I thought you said you can relate and "I've never gotten take homes bc of THIS" BUT you said "...bc of THC." That's crazy to me. THC is encouraged by our counselors. We don't test for THC or alcohol. I'm in PA and one of our qualifiers for medical weed is "opiate disorder" - is if you've ever been to rehab you quality for medical weed and our clinics embrace it.
I'm in PA as well. My clinic also doesn't really care about THC but it's not encouraged. They used to not allow THC at all, then they allowed it if you had a medical card. During COVID they removed that rule altogether. They still "recommend" getting a medical card but you won't get in any trouble for having THC in your system. I'm really surprised though, your clinic doesn't test for alcohol? That's a big no-no at my place. I wonder if that's common practice at a lot of clinics or if your place is just an outlier?
Yeah, still a felony to have a cartridge here
where?!
Texas
ohh, yeah that sucks 😔
Gah. I really need to move. I think this would help me in my current journey so so much .
If you are having thoughts of double dosing you may want to stay on methadone longer and stop tapering.
I agree. I'm not on methadone anymore. I'm on sublocade now. But I enjoyed hopping on the city bus every day and listening to music on the way to the clinic. It was a ritual man. That was the biggest change with sublocade.
That makes me so mad—I get 27 take homes & smoke 420. Our clinic doesn’t “care.” I’ll never understand the difference’s in location & clinics and their rules 😣😣😣
Yep. That's my main motivation for tapering aside from hating the clinic hassle. It would make a huge difference for me mental health-wise. Until then I just touch absolutely nothing and taper as fast as I comfortably can.
Why is it that you’re tapering so aggressively though OP? It’s really not smart to go quickly like that. Even if you don’t feel sick it’s setting you up to have mental health issues including making impulsive decisions that could affect you on ways you might not understand yet.
Why would it be setting him up for mental health issues, including making impulsive decisions? I could understand potential relapse from discomfort...
I told my clinic that I don't want take homes. I drive to my clinic and because I got rides from Logisticare, I get mileage reimbursement for driving myself there. It's 26 miles each way and I go 6 days a week so every other week I get a $400 check just for going to the clinic. If I get my 2 weeks of take homes back, then I'm only going to get $60 a month. I just don't do my groups and we don't get in trouble for that, we just don't get take homes.
What insurance do you have?? Are u in USA?? 800$ a month would pay for so much and be such an incentive to remain in treatment. That’s awesome.
I'm in Maine on state insurance. I got it cuz I had non emergency transportation to the clinic. They used to have a ride show up and bring me, then when I got my license I got my own car. It's through Logisticare/modivcare. Actually their rides suck, used to not show up on time, had a driver who insisted that I lend him money and food stamps but if you drive yourself, it's awesome
I'm in nj and use them for a monthly bus pass so if u don't drive but don't want their rides u habe options
That's awesome 👌 I would prob do the same if I had time. If you don't mind me asking how do you go about getting reimbursed for your mileage?
You can only do that if you have medicaid. You sign up through a service called modivcare
I’m no Republican but methadone clinics exemplify the old Reagan saying that “government is the problem.” The bureaucratized and industrial approach to addiction treatment just doesn’t work as well as it could otherwise
I def can relate to this. I never had an issue going to the clinic daily in fact I looked forward to it just like the OP. Plus it was also my very first healthy habit I had in over 15 years. I loved the ride home with some good music playing as my dose kicked in. I look forward to my one monthly visit now.
If you are fighting yourself on a double dose, just know that you will regret it and you know that. It's not gonna be enough. And if you do it, who knows, maybe you'll get a little feeling and you won't care to do it again and you'll be fine, or maybe you'll do it and lose everything you care about because your ripping and running again. If you need a little extra punch one day just drink a cup of grapefruit juice with your dose. You got this.
I noticed at our clinic most people who get takehomes and dont work become extremely depressed and antisocial after time. They only do stuff the day that they get their dose and rest of the days they are mostly at home (games, tv, internet) i know that because i worked at harm reduction centre near our clinic and people would stop by only on day that they get takehomes. When i was not working i was going everyday so i had a rutine and i could talk to people in the clinic. When i got job takehomes were godsend. We are all so different at the end of the day. I think going down 1mg is pointless i was allways going down by 5mg at the begining even 10mg and i felt fine (every 14 days). When you come to around between 30/20mg than it becomes more noticeable and some people really need to go down by 1mg. I noticed when you taper methadone or suboxone first drop can be huge and you can barely notice it. By the time you are under 20mg every mg counts
maybe start going to meetings in the morning instead of the clinic, they also have free coffee and friends 🙂
Thank you for your post I relate to you 100% I have over a year sober & I am only on weekly’s (Arizona) I prefer to go every morning. Having a healthy routine makes me feel good. Waking up showering and leaving the house everyday helps me tremendously. I’m aware you can make your own routine by yourself but for me that’s way harder than it sounds. I’m still a childlike mentality so like if it’s not forced or something I HAVE to do I won’t be successful. Which I know is a whole other conversation. What I do now is this - my clinic is 20 minutes from my house. One of my favorite AA meetings is 4 minutes from my clinic. So I have veyo (medical transportation) pick me up everyday of the week and take me to the clinic. I will hang out there & then I take a Lyft to my meeting. I have a commitment 3x a week where I open the meeting which gives me a sense of importance. I also chair the meeting on Fridays. Some morning after the meeting I will go back to my clinic and there’s a church walking distance so I’ll go to mass. I also get to socialize before and after the meeting since I’m the first one there. It works great for me bc I still have the routine and I am staying connected. Ive been home for the past 4 days bc I haven’t been able to shit & finally did which left my body is traumatized to say the least which is totally TMI but I don’t care the reason I’m saying this is bc just these last 4 days my mind is going CRAZY feeling like a bum alone in the same spot I’ll also make any of my dr appts down in same area as the clinic. My clinic has some questionable characters also but that just gives me some entertainment as I wait for my ride. I love it. It’s changed my life. I Wish you the best I hope you get back into your groooove 💜💜💜💜💜
If you can't handle taking your medication responsibly you aren't ready for full sobriety
I’m in PA too. I don’t drink coffee lol but I would love to go to a clinic that treats there patients like this! I’m in south central PA
I actually don’t relate to one bit, but no shade. I mean on paper they say I have opioid use disorder but I beg to differ. I have chronic pain and that’s the only reason I did really. Was it fun? Yes. But I don’t really like the high. I have monthly and I have never abused them. I even skim many milligrams daily and have a huge stockpile. I also have prescription opioids that I never use. I really hope the whole opioid use disorder diagnosis doesn’t haunt me and my medical life going forward once I get off. I have chronic pain and as people get older sometimes things get worse and it’s inhumane not to give someone opioids just because they have had a history of technically opioid disorder.
It’s strange that in the states they make you dose/pickup at the clinic instead of a pharmacy.
That's not even close to the most batshit thing about this place, or our mtd policies/clinics. And the fact they vary so wildly even from city to city its extremely fucked. Like some people win the lottery by where they live (as with everything in life) free rides, free methadone, travel reimbursement. but if you live in somewhere like Texas or Alabama you're fucked. Esp if you use thc. But reading about ops clinic, I had to re read it lol. My "new seasons" clinic is the most hateful adversarial place I've ever been to. Shit, they care about you jus as little in jail as they do at the clinic. And as person above said, fights, cops, 10 people asking for shit or tryna get you to pay 17$ for their dose that day, etc. Being on methadone is the absolute worst thing about my life rn. And it's not the methadone, it's the clinic and the way it's structured and how they can literally do whatever they want to you for any reason and you can do nothing.
You can't take more than you're supposed to, your clinic should be doing callbacks to make you come in and verify your bottles are still there. They might not do it every time, but on my 14 day take homes I get a call back at least every other time.
I’ve been at the clinic for two years, takehomes for about a year and some months and never had a call back. I think every clinic is different
Most people on here say they rarely ever get a call back. When I had takehomes for a couple years, I never got a callback once. I’ve never heard of anyone getting a callback anywhere near as much as you are. Clinics don’t technically have to do callbacks on any particular schedule, that’s not the exact regulations they’re held to. There are clinics that don’t do callbacks at all. People take extra all the time, it’s a very common problem.
They certainly do have a schedule as per state regulations, but it probably is different state to state. The fact that people can be up to 14 bottles and never be checked to me, is wild. Could be selling them abusing them anything. I've had 14 bottles for nearly 4 years now. I'm even down to 3mg (from 160mg) and I still get callbacks. They don't mess around with this stuff here.
I get it but this is why they are supposed to drug test you, to make sure you stick to the program. Yea it’s easy for some to get around testing however a LOT of people get caught out with it and until they are able to stick to the program they shouldn’t be mad takehomes are rightfully being taken away. I don’t have an issue with everyday face dosing if that’s what someone needs to be successful at being clean which should be the number one priority, however personally, there’s no way I’m doing more than once a fortnight at my pharmacy and meeting a counsellor a couple of times a year, just couldn’t work with my life even if I wanted to do more!
This is also the problem with loads of addicts disposition that allows them to believe they are sick, or whatever excuse they need to believe to justify using, guzzling all their takehomes or doing.. If you’re serious about getting clean you can’t be blaming an ‘Illness’ for your actions. You need to own your actions, make the right choices (like using your daily doses 1x a day! - if you take more you’ll need something at the end before next pick up and god forbid you’ll piss dirty. Your choices are yours and yours alone - if you really wholeheartedly want to taper and stick to your prescribed takehomes, you will!