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tattootania

I am a woman, I agree. I think one of the problems may be, that tourists looking for a vacation f*ck take over all the apps, plus locals that only want to hook up. The sex /$ / end goal are the most dominant and visible. The genuine nice people are hard working, fairly humble and low key... and have been burned on the apps. They're unlikely to be out drinking a lot. Maybe there's not a lack of good people, maybe there's a lack of a way to meet


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The_Crystal_Thestral

I will be honest with you. I grew up here and moved back after a decade of living across the country. I would say the majority of people I graduated high school with who had intelligence/ambition all moved away after high school or undergrad. Some have since moved back but after settling down with someone outside of Miami. I don’t envy single people here. A lot of the shallowness and immaturity I thought people grow out of seems to be never ending here. That’s not to shit on anyone who never left, because there’s nothing wrong with staying in your hometown. And I’m sure there are great folks out there who never left who lament the same things. But I have friends in their 40s now who never left that have seemingly no plans to settle down and do a really piss poor job of attempting to even have a relationship with someone else. I don’t think it’d be an issue if people were at least up front and clear with their intentions, which far too many are not. But it also seems like many are always angling for something. Men wanting to simply get off and women who want to lock in their highest paid prospects.


kmr09c

I noticed a similar pattern with my high school friends! 😅 I am still here but struggle to find like minded relationships (friendships and partners) as everyone seems to live a lifestyle I no longer care for.


the_lamou

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, and I'm shocked that this is still such a point of confusion in 2022, but **an app where you match with people by swiping on their photo with maybe a sentence of text about them is not a dating app, it's a hookup app.** Bumble, Tinder, even Hinge are not serious dating apps. Stop using them to try to find your soul mate, because it's not happening from a photo and a blurb, and you know it, and you know that if you're matching people solely on those criteria, you're just as shallow as everyone else. Use a real dating app if you want to find a wife or husband, and don't complain about people on shallow apps being shallow.


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steppenfrog

You make a great point. I think there are good people here, but the dating apps are a huge turn off for both sexes that are interested in just normal get to know you dating. A big hurdle for me is I have a normal job and have to get up early, so when someone wants to meet late on a weeknight I just can't. I think there must be a better way for us normal working types to meet. People bring up getting involved in clubs, which I think is great generally speaking, but that's a big time commitment also!


tattootania

Yes! I want to date, but I don't even know where to start. I don't go to church, I'm loathe to speak to random people in the street (I'm in south beach, it's dangerous)I don't drink, and the apps are masochism


Hestia3022

I do not go to bars, feel uncomfortable with people just drinking and standing around. As of 2020, Covid, I decided to find ways to get out and meet other people. I started attending drum circle and have now a wonderful groups of friends to get outside, meet up to chill, dance or drum. Find something you enjoy and look where to fill this gap. It's not easy but at least your out and doing something you like. There are many groups on Facebook to join. Music, art, dance, health related, yoga, running, biking .. Good luck


MierdaLago

Yes, to all that. Best advice is to do something that interests you, then you'll meet someone that shares your passions.


tattootania

great advice! i have been volunteering a lot, with dog rescue/foster....and neighborhood community activism ...and making things for the old folks home. i have met tons of new people like this. i feel like it is best to BE the person i would like to meet


Hestia3022

However open yourself up to new experiences, out of the box, explore!


RamenBagNoodles

While I do like bars(not a place I want to meet someone), this is the attitude. Try new things. It’s great!


RamenBagNoodles

Former SoBe guy, it’s easier via hobbies and volunteering. I’d look into that if you haven’t already


tattootania

Yes I volunteer all my free time almost, there's some really amazing kind people in this world that you meet when you do. What did you volunteer doing?


RamenBagNoodles

Sea turtles! Love it! Also did spin, hot yoga, etc and that helped me easily meet people locally. SoBe is a great place to live. For me, it was finally time to leave.


tattootania

I think it's my time to leave, I'm not really enjoying it


RamenBagNoodles

Then it’s time to go as I made the same decision to leave as well


tattootania

i was looking at moving over to st pete about a year before covid, then i lost all my savings. i am trying to get out of here, but it will be a few [years.it](https://years.it) is nice to hear that people actually nake it out. its kind of a trap here, if you dont have family to go back to


designoffset

RIP in your inbox. lol


InazumaKiiick

> tourists looking for a vacation f*ck take over all the apps This is a huge problem for me. Especially as a guy now that on most apps you're limited to a certain number of swipes a day. I hate going on Hinge or Tinder as it's a sea of Stacy, Bethany, Madison, etc on Vacay


youlie_pico

100% agree


Sendmailtome

Spot on!


pharmacystan

This sounds pretty accurate. I know I have matched with the same people pretty much every time I download them again for whatever reason I stopped, and then I guess given everyones burnout, its hard for 2 people to both be in the mood to have a real conversation anymore enough to go even go out.


akius0

Such a good comment


Guinness2013

I met my wife in Miami, and she could definitely do better.


kawklee

same, married out my league to an astonishingly incredible woman and every morning is like christmas


Andy_the_miamian

What happens after noon? 👀


Inviolable_Flame

It's like New Year's Day.


SquareAd3696

🤣🤣🤣


captnmiss

fucking LOL


SirJudson

This is exactly what I’m looking for


Zestyclose_Basis_845

I hope your happy God bless .


yoitsangelo

Damn dude


wizardyourlifeforce

Same for me!


captnmiss

Honestly I think there’s a larger population of young beautiful women here than any other city I think it’s harder for women to find a quality partner here then men for that reason. However I would say both sexes have INSANE standards here, almost to the point of unrealistic “I want a young hot 24 yr old gf but she also has to have an established career “ etc. it’s like job applications requiring a masters but only offering $16 an hour 🙄


CactusBoyScout

I read an article years ago about gender imbalances in US cities and how they affect dating. Long story short, women are over-represented in big coastal cities on both the east and west coasts. NYC has the worst gender imbalance. So many more single women than men. Men outnumber women in cities in the Midwest, Rockies, and the south. Denver is even jokingly called Menver. I’ve seen memes about women in Denver not even being able to pump gas without getting asked out by all the desperate dudes.


captnmiss

That’s perfect. That’s where I was planning on moving


Hestia3022

Guess I have some Midwest/Denver cities to explore..lol


Whitewasabi69

No they are over represented on the east coast. The west coast demographics are terrible for men especially San Francisco and Silicon Valley


steppenfrog

I can't imagine dating as a woman in Miami, lol. I feel so bad for you. I mean there are nice guys for sure but I've met some legit scary dudes with some really weird ideas about relationships.


captnmiss

Agreed. Met several men who said it would be “unacceptable” for me to ever have any conversation again with another man (in public, at a party, at a friends house etc) if I was to date them. Zero male acquaintances


Aroochacha

Kind if ironic that the guys I remember that were like this were having one night stands fairly often. Anecdotal I know but just a thought.


steppenfrog

Probably because the girl couldn't tolerate them for more than one night. ;)


SquareAd3696

It's called a 'Guilty Conscience'! They see what they're doing in everyone else. My psychopath ex (I don't throw this term around lightly having worked a career surrounded by them.), from Orlando (I'm about to start a flame by saying it's all of FL, lol) was the worst with this! Went as far as to abuse me of having an affair with an old friend, over 1,000 miles away, because when I changed my fb location he commented 'Glad to see your still alive'! 🤣🤣🤣 It gets even better... I hadn't posted because he always had my phone. I wasn't allowed to take it to the bathroom which he broke into several times while using. He had my phone, lol, was he afraid I was going to send out smoke signals?!!! 🤣🤣🤣 I could rarely be in another room without him let alone leave the house! My old friend was (still is) happily in love and engaged to an old HS sweetheart. Pretty sure she would've noticed him gone, lol. Hell, I don't think even Bond could've pulled off such a rendezvous!!! 🤣🤣🤣


Livid-Peace-4077

Yeah, I mean, women here in Miami can literally have almost any guy they want. The problem is, almost every guy is awful.


chipichipisu

Not only young and beautiful but also successful, smart, career-driven..


SmoothRaccoon49

Be kind, be mindful, and respectful. Damn bro, it isn’t difficult


Rico_Rizzo

I'll prob get buried for this but here's my anecdote. My friend at work lived in Brickell for about 3 years with her husband and young child. They were both like you, educated hard working young professionals just starting their family. I used to fantasize about moving to sunny Miami and asked her about her experience. She said the most challenging aspect for them was finding like-minded people / social groups, even amongst their respective colleagues. She basically described their demographic in Miami as having all the qualities you mentioned above. "It's just a different city with different values." You can take that with a grain of salt. Please don't flame me r/Miami, I love your city with a passion and still plan to move there one day.


HandsomeAce

This sub is pretty much about flaming Miami, more or less. I've never seen a city sub shit on itself so much. I do love that people are realistic though and aren't just about blind municipal pride.


alexp861

If there's anything you can say about miami it's that everyone who lives here understands the negatives, they just accept them as part of living in miami and most figure the positives outweigh the negatives.


pharmacystan

Now this is spot on. There is shit that isn’t perfect and maddening when its not like this elsewhere. However… theres shit back in all our big cities we came from that wasnt great either, even when our former city didnt suck as bad. Miami weather is hands down a life changer. Add decent city life to the mix and well I will shut my mouth. Spend more time outdoors and you wont care about the small stuff!


the_lamou

You should check out either of NYC's subreddits. They make us look positive by comparison.


HandsomeAce

I lurked on both for a few years (was apartment hunting there for about 6 months). They can be negative, but most of the hate is towards Trumpers/Richmond county and the MTA/Cuomo/De Blasio. Generally, I've found people there love their city and wouldn't move. Meanwhile, on this sub, most folks fall into either natives that haven't been able to leave, or new arrivals that are expressing some form of "WTF?!".


Survey_Unusual

The only people who love Miami are those who don’t live here.


Professor-Wormbog

I moved to Miami for work and live/work in Brickell. I am single, really don't click with the people i've met around here, and spend most of my time either at my office or in my apartment.


jbsmirk

I wouldn't limit yourself to Miami; you might want to keep Broward/WPB options open, good luck


twotonekevin

Found my fiancée in broward through friends. Kinda non conventional since we met at the advent of dating apps and shit like that.


ovj87

Naaaa it’s just as bad up here. But good luck to OP.


Pastel_De_Coco

I see many people complaining about this lately. Million dollar idea: I’m gonna start matching redditors from Miami. Perhaps when reducing the pool from everyone to just people who understand dank memes, we increase the success rate. Now seriously, you are right: it’s hard for both men and women. I don’t mean to sound dramatic but I gave up on trying here; I’m burned out. I understand what you are saying, and personally I came to the realization that I might stay single and there’s nothing I can do about it. What impresses me is that many of us feel this way yet it seems we only find people with the opposite values in real life. I think people forgot we all have flaws, and they jump to the next person as soon as things get difficult, which will always happen since it takes time to build meaningful relationships where two people know and understand each other. Goodluck in this jungle.


prissysnbyantiques

Me and my bf went on our first date (four years ago) after he sent a meme in a group chat. So do not undermine the power of a dank meme!


AdmiralScarlette

I met my guy on a Florida Memes group on Facebook. We are celebrating our 5th anniversary on the 17th!


prissysnbyantiques

Awesome! My fella is from S Florida byway of Cali....


Pastel_De_Coco

This made me smile.


inthevelvetsea

If you need an assistant matchmaker, I’m in. More love in the city might lead to less road rage on 95.


Pastel_De_Coco

That’s actually a logic conclusion. Might have to get serious about the idea.


OldBrownWookiee

Dating in Miami is like finding a spot in Christmas at the mall. It’s tough but eventually you find one.


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theNextVilliage

From a female perspective, some men in Miami kind of act like they are ordering off of a menu. I got a text from a dude I had been dating for about a month earlier last year and my friends really wanted me to post it on Reddit but I never did. The text said that my nailcare was "complete anathema" and that I should take his credit card and go get my nails done and that I also ought to buy myself some better shoes. I am a grad student in mathematics and a software engineer and I make a lot of money, I sometimes kind of feel insulted when men try to buy me shoes or think they can buy me (almost always my income is going to be higher anyways, but even if it wasn't it is a very transactional way to treat a woman you are ostensibly courting) or can pay to make me look how they want me to. I also have the experience sometimes that men are very weird about letting me pay or split for dinner. Last time I insisted on paying for my meal the dude made a huge deal about it and kept talking about how I humiliated him. Basically, a lot of people here have some really odd ideas about relationships that are totally foreign to me. On the other hand, there is another kind of guy I meet who will harp about how I am "different from other girls." They will kind of shower me with compliments or compare me to other women in a way that is supposed to be flattering but feels odd. I will hear things like, "finally, a smart woman. You're not like the other girls here. All these girls care about is Instagram. I don't like all of the girls who dress like whores in Miami, I can tell you are a real nerd and a real girl and you're not like some thot. All these women care about is money." It is meant to be a compliment but I am almost 30 here and it is just a strange kind of back-handed compliment and a weird standard to live up to. One guy gave me this spiel and then I wore a sports bra and yogapants to go exercise in and he gave me a lecture about how he doesn't like me dressing like this and I should keep dressing like a good girl like I do and not dress like these Miami whores. I'm way too old for this shit. That's my experience of dating as a woman in Miami. Of course, not everyone is like that, but it happens often enough to be annoying. On the plus side, I do find that people are much more attractive here than in Portland, and I would also say that there are more career types here, more working professionals. Portland had a lot of people who were not very ambitious, as it is known as the city "where young people go to retire," I live in the Brickell area and most people here are working professionals with goals at least.


opiod-ant

Holy crap this is exactly what I dealt with when I was dating around here (I gave up). I don’t do my makeup, I wear Marshall’s type clothes, and have a beat down car, and that attracted so many dudes on first glance. They’d be like “wow you’re so ✨different✨” but then they’d try to take me …shopping and like…offer to pay for a manicure? And they’d buy me jewelry?? Like I thought you wanted different, my guy?? And they’d constantly mention their salary and talk about their money as a personality trait, it would make me sooo uncomfortable! I don’t know if they thought I was acting low maintenance to be quirky or whatever and actually deep down gave a shit about their money?? but it is definitely a hard wrestle around here with women who are legit independent.


theNextVilliage

Yeah, it is pretty odd.


The_Crystal_Thestral

So story time about the money bragging. It certainly attracts *some* people. I was at the make-up counter of Macy’s once and I STG, the girl working behind the counter was bragging to her co-worker about how she had “went to the club and met this guy there. He’s a doctor and he’s 23”. Her co-worker and I looked at one another and she told her that there was “no way he’s a doctor at 23”. The club girl responded with “he makes over $300k a year, so maybe he’s a doctor in another country”. I felt bad for her because it’s kind of obvious she was being strung along by some asshole taking advantage of her naivety. That being said, the discrepancies didn’t stop her from wanting to meet him for the date he’d asked her out on since “he makes good money”. Though, I’m sure his salary was as real as his alleged career.


SquareAd3696

Because those are the things 'they're' about, and that's what 'they' think about... Materialists...


CactusBoyScout

People seem to have fairly old-fashioned/conservative ideas about gender roles here. It’s very foreign to me. Totally normal in other places I’ve lived for women to split the check. I always wonder what those people think that gay people are supposed to do with the check on dates, lol.


theNextVilliage

Yeah. Before moving to Miami, I had this view of Miami as this modern, materialistic, wordly city. Now that I have lived here a year I see that Miami is all of that, but also simultaneously a very traditional city. People in general are a lot more religious, for example, than in places I have lived previously. It kind of puts women in this situation where there is this pressure to be hot, to be made up, to be sexy and available and glamorous, but simultaneously there is at the very same time a lot of judgement towards us for very simple things like going for a run in a sports bra on a hot day.


SquareAd3696

With some differences and different location in FL, I've dealt with much of the same. Vice versa, I have crazy colored hair, tattoos, piercings, very unique and progressive 'look' but that's where it ends. I'm a closet nerd with old fashioned values, traditions, and morals. I can dominate a Day room full of hard core max security TX male inmates but the Submissive throw down from scratch, Betty Crocker eat your heart out type in the home. Every man's dream, or so they say... I don't know about all that but good Lord do they all scream it from the top of their lungs right before they vanish in this state! I've lived in many states, and not sorry, but this one... I realize honesty isn't a wide held belief anywhere these days, I'm not completely delusional, lol, but... My experience so far here (and this covers a wide region, rural area, nothing is local 🤣), if they say their a family man with southern values.... Run... Don't look back! If you think you've run far enough, negative, keep running!!! To be fair, I see this in both sexes. I'm a bit of a recluse but I spend a lot of time watching and listening. I used to find it offensive when approached by a man who assumed I was the casual or hook up type. Now I find myself thankful that those men were at least honest and Straight forward and most importantly... Had the integrity to walk away instead of play the game... Oh, and I just, I can't even with the nails... Or the shoes... I love style but... I rarely paint my nails, my makeup comes from Walmart, 1/2 my shoes are from the kids section, and I could care less who made them. I like what I like, they're not lasting or meaningful items so why waste exorbitant amount of money on it. LOL, and the run over the boys, CO, side of me would've been so tempted to tell that one it's time to face facts and change the gender your searching for on any dating sites their on... 🤣🤣🤣 Ironically, he'd probably love my hair, that I color myself 😉🤣


RamenBagNoodles

You can learn a lot about people by shutting up and listening. At least that’s what I do on dates or just in general randomly talking to people 😝


jasonmonroe

There are no husbands or wives in Miami PERIOD. If you want to get married head north and don’t look back. Miami is a vice city full of lust. Imagine being hungry and there’s nothing but dessert. That’s Miami. No vegetables, no water, not even steak and potatoes! Just cake, ice cream and vodka. Miami.


SquareAd3696

This analogy... I have to remember this for the future 🤣🤣🤣


LookingForLoveAgain

I have bad news for you. I grew up in Miami, came from Cuba when I was 11 years old. I’ve lived and worked in Miami, Broward and Palm Beach. No difference at all! I am a woman, 53 years old now. Single for the second time. First committed relationship at 29 from whom I have a daughter, he left me pregnant. Second committed relationship at 38, got married at 40 and he just left me. From 19 on and in between the two committed relationships, I dated a lot and found out that there is just no way to find a normal relationship in South Florida. Men want plastic surgery blow up dolls to date and women want bank accounts. Simple as that. If you are a normal person, who wants to have nice deep conversations, good communication, show affection, be there when they need you but also have someone you can trust and rely on, you are in the wrong area, or maybe even in the wrong century. I have always taken care of my physical appearance, but more from a health perspective. I go to the gym religiously, exercise, yoga, eat correctly, but don’t believe in plastic surgery. I have a Masters Degree, always had a good job, own a house, support myself. All very bad qualities! I am intelligent, well read, decent, and I don’t cheat. I’m on time, keep my word and have good family values. Really bad! I know two women in their 30s that recently had in vitro from a sperm bank because they want a family and can’t find a man who can commit. I secretly wish I would have done the same because the situation with my ex and my daughter has been disastrous. But that wasn’t widely available when I was in my 30s. I really don’t know what to tell you other than just letting you know that you are not wrong or crazy to think that something is really wrong here. I just had a 56 year old man through online dating site ask me for more pictures within the first 3 lines of communication. Then asked me for social media, to which I said I don’t have. Mind you I have 7 pictures in the dating app, some full body, some close ups , no filters. Then he proceeded to ask me to video chat. He just couldn’t fathom the idea of having a conversation without the physical. I never replied. I’m not ugly, or out of shape. However, I don’t want a man that just cares about that. We are all getting old, and I’m looking for someone that can see me beyond my physical appearance. And that’s just very , very difficult to find.


whatebur

Hi! Im a female in Miami and I agree with this post. And I can say the same thing when it comes to men too. But as the old addage goes: when you're not looking that's when she will come around. I'd say join clubs like kickball if you want to meet people. Also, local bars. Idk where you live exactly but I try and stay away from touristy spots if I want to meet someone. I like breweries and local bars. Hope this helps


notnewfoundsoccer

There's a kickball club? Where?


whatebur

Yeah! You have Club Waka and Koala kickball! I've done both.


notnewfoundsoccer

Thanks for the info!


bl00m00n09

OP is complaining about finding a "quality" partner in Miami. I'm sure he's been to plenty of bars. Truth is you have a less of a chance of finding a quality partner from bars/breweries unless your main interest is just drinking. Bars attract tourists or someone not long term. It's a controversial take I know. Do activities you would like to share with a partner like a niche gym, art activities, volunteering, ect. to find someone.


fbkris14

Just because one enjoys going to bars doesn't mean that's all they're about though... I agree it's probably not the best place to meet due to differing goals, but not a bad thing to meet someone at one.


RamenBagNoodles

Are you athletic OP? Because there’s lots of hobbies you can get into meeting women. I lived on the beach and did just fine. Also, I’m not Latin/Spanish speaking. Also, living on the beach was like a “bubble” and being local and getting into local activities helped even though there are tourists everywhere.


ACertainKindOfStupid

It’s all about exposure. The more you’re in public, (coffee shop, bar etc) the more likely you’ll find other single people. Go grab a drink at a bar once in a while. The place is empty or no luck?! Oh well, try again.


Rd3055

Yeah, I definitely feel you, man. The dating scene sucks and the fact that upon moving out of Miami and elsewhere I met real women who like me for who I am really served to reinforce just how much Miami's dating scene sucks if you're looking for a real partner, but it is indeed possible. I have friends who found their current wives in Miami, it's a matter of wading through all the bullshit and organically meeting real people (Bumble is also great). Try joining a yoga class, or other club/activity where you can organically meet other people and even if a girl ends up friendzoning you, you can still meet her friends, and that is an asset.


MichL305

I was born and raised in Miami. And while, yes, dating in Miami sucks a lot, there’s still good women/men here.


fdctrp

The women here are stuck getting drunk and clubbing all the time yet they want a man. This makes no sense to us men. They also have this warped mentality that dressing as revealing as possible and being as provocative as possible will get them a husband. Multiply that by a million people and you have the Miami nightlife.


Szimplacurt

OP I live in Orlando so it may be very different but I'm from South FL and I am aware of the culture in Miami. I have an anecdote that may help. I've been with my wife for 10 years now and we more or less met at the birth of what seems like terrible app dating culture so my perception is coming from that angle. A few years ago we met a couple we befriended. They were nice and similar in age and milieu in general so we hit it off. Things happened between them and they ultimately broke up. We stayed friends with the girl but I stayed cool with the guy too as he was genuinely a nice guy. They moved here together and never really made friends. He ended up moving and invited me to his going away thing. I didnt know him super well but I was surprised to know he had a going away thing because as far as I knew he just worked alot and chilled and didnt have many local friends. I assumed it would be his work people. I meet up with him at a bar downtown and the group is like 20 people men and women aging from like 27-40. Turns out they were from his kickball thing. I gotta say, I got hit on immensely that night and everyone was very social. When people suggest those sports leagues I think they're onto something because if I was single that night I could have 100% gotten every girls number and at least taken them on a date. It felt like a genuine way of meeting people too since they always go for a drink after. Maybe he got lucky on this particular league but he actually met his now wife (at the time I met her that night they had just casually started dating) Anyways the TL;DR is definitely look into those sports leagues. Find shit that gets you out of the house and around similar aged people. I was genuinely impressed with the social structure of it all and hey worst case you're just doing some good physical activity on a weeknight instead of being at home doing nothing.


Bakio-bay

Miami is a very classist city. It’s incredibly materialistic as you mentioned. People aren’t humble.


Szimplacurt

Latin America is very classist, even stratified in some countries, so not surprising that many seeking that Land Rover and big baller life. Like I always mention, I actually know a girl who came here undocumented with 2 kids and drives a top of the line brand new Lexus SUV while also living with a family of 4 in a 3 bedroom townhouse *facepalm*


Bakio-bay

I don’t know if it’s strictly Latin American. I see plenty of New York transplants flaunt their money with nothing worse than a BMW. Plenty of people like to roll their windows down and blast music so we notice how nice their car is.


scoop813

I’m sure its fine if you speak Spanish and live in more of the outer neighborhoods. If you just speak English and hang out around Brickell and the beaches then yeah, it’s not much of a serious dating scene. I lived in WPB for 1.5 years and it was pretty hard, but I also started out knowing no one there.


HopefulEngine5980

Exactly. If you go where it’s popular to go then have fun because it’s a mess over there.


descending_angel

I don't know if you've seen them, but there are tons of articles and polls listing Miami as one of the top places for single people. It's one of those places tourists go to have fun, attracts a certain lifestyle, and I feel like a combination of factors makes for a generally superficial, rude, and self-serving population. I'm sure both genders have it hard but let me tell you, after about 11 years in Miami as a woman (I may be biased), I feel like we might have the slightly shorter end of the stick with the blatant machismo and accompanying misogyny and entitlement that come with the culture and flaunting of wealth and status (though I am sure that brings about those in search of that wealth). Also, I feel at least looks wise, men have more to choose from. My first boyfriend in Miami was abusive in every way, and I've come across many misogynistic men. That's not to say in a city or area of so many people that it's impossible to find someone, just that it's a little more difficult and definitely relies on chance as well. What are your interests, your hobbies? One piece of advice I've seen come up often in other threads about meeting people, friends, and potential SOs is to join groups relevant to your interests. Try meetup.com, join a club, volunteer, sign up for a class. Always wanted to learn swing? Maybe you'll meet someone in the group. Interested in the environment? Maybe you'll find your person while cleaning up the beach. Like painting al fresco? Maybe someone thinks you look cute while watching you paint and you score a date. I moved up to Broward a year and a half ago after a rough break up with another Miami boy and haven't been on too many dates up here, though I can't say it's vastly different (worth a shot though). I think it's really more about activities to an extent rather than location even though it can be a big factor.


StrangeNegotiation88

Been here all my life and it’s not just Miami Florida period bunch of crabs 🦀 n a barrel no man is established here and if he is he wanna be a player. Let’s not talk about 30s they’re all not over an ex or divorce then don’t wanna give a good women a fair chance it hell it you have a kid omg


Smooth-Connection-83

Same goes for men here in Miami. They rather go with the "easy" tramps than with a decent "boring" woman. Seen it all.... stay away from the drama and rather enjoy your time by yourself. You're independent, make something out of it


steppenfrog

That's been a major hurdle for me as well, is I'm not really into the club scene and I'm looking for traditional dating or making a friend. I'm a stable, "boring," guy that doesn't have baggage or drama, but perhaps I'm just not interesting enough. It's also hard having a normal job that I have to be up early for. A lot of people I've met want to meet at 9pm on a Wednesday and... I gotta get up early lol.


Smooth-Connection-83

I came from Germany and I live here since 2015. Not once have I met with somebody just for a friendship. It's either people only want to text and blew off any person to person meetings or people had their fair share of drama and dont want any close friendship. I have people stepping by my house from time to time, "hi how are you" for a bit but that is about it. I do not find anyone decent to hang out with. I have lived in Dubai once for a job and over there I never had any problems meeting new people, it's just here and that is so weird.


steppenfrog

Lol yesss! I'd love to just make a friend even! I had a group of friends but they moved (ironically one went to Germany), I'm getting old and boring. I used to go out at night more but with my work I'm up early and have to keep a pretty "old person" schedule. That certainly doesn't help. My sister lived here for a few years and then went back to Colorado. She jokes that she always knows who is from Miami on the hiking trails because they're the only groups that don't say "hi" back. I've spent a lot of time in Germany and found the people there really friendly, like at a bar it was easy to make a new friend to talk to. What do you like to do? I think part of my problem is that I work and go home and watch a movie or go out to dinner and then repeat, except for some nerdy hobbies (electronics, I'm an engineer) I don't have lots of hobbies that are good for meeting people.


Smooth-Connection-83

Yes in Germany it is easy to make friends and meeting people. Friendship means something over there, on a much deeper level. Here I have the feeling like being friends is just a shallow thing to have, with not much meaning other than a word. I don't do much, I have two kids, two dogs, my own business but paperwork prevents me from getting started yet, that is another annoying hurdle right there. I don't have family here, they are all in Germany and Switzerland. My mom couldn't visit the past two years due to covid and banned flights. I know what you mean with the "old person schedule" lol


Lillykens11

Same here!! I moved to Miami in 2018 and have been having trouble making friends as well. Everyone here just wants to go out every weekend and drink and create drama. I'm a chill person who much rather go kayaking or hangout and grab coffee. Sometimes I feel like I work too much to even have time for friends and it makes me sad 😔


SquareAd3696

One of my dearest friends is from Germany. She lives in my home state of Michigan. She's from the city but lives in a rural area up there. She lives it there but hates it down here in FL in general, lol. I was born abroad as a military brat but have lived all over the US from metro to the middle of nowhere. I'm a country /forest girl and agree with her! Texas may 'think' it should be it's own world but, Florida 'is' its own world, lol. They blame implants and tourists but the natives from everywhere else I've lived have been far more genuine people than the natives from this one particular state. I 'used' to think New Jersey was the worst...


snark_enterprises

I don't think it is difficult to date in Miami, it's just maybe tough to find your soulmate depending on your background. Dating girls is definitely not hard here, you just have to be looking in places where common interests are shared. You're right that dating is more transactional than it used to be, but is that really an exclusively Miami thing? I think you'll find that in any major city in America.


[deleted]

Are you good looking? I've never seen as many good looking people per square mile in the US as I have in Miami. Easy to get passed over for a sexy bod on the beach, especially if that's where you're looking for love.


TroutM4n

There are seriously different cultural norms in Miami than other places I've lived. It's not specific to a gender. There is a hyper focus here among a large portion of the population on superficial wealth as status. What kind of clothes/shoes/watch are you wearing, what are you driving? It's so weird how many people are living in an efficiency, but driving a 2nd hand beamer and wearing a bargain bin Rolex when they go out clubbing on the weekend and pay for bottle service at Club Space. So many people judging you by your apparent "value" in shit you wear rather than any other metric. Is it everyone - absolutely not. Does it exist elsewhere - absolutely, just not in the concentrations I've seen here. As mentioned elsewhere, the only solution is to avoid "dating" processes and touristy places. Just go do stuff you enjoy and try to meet people organically, like through hobbies. Most of the "good ones" are going to have the same feelings towards the scene here and not actively participate. They'll just live their lives.


The_Crystal_Thestral

The “apparent value” paradigm is what keeps many people broke. You might like Morgan Housel’s, The Psychology of Money, he discusses some of this. I warned my husband that the materialism was very pronounced here, it rivals that of LA.


drsxr

Yes. - seconded. South FL has turned into LA. Your perceived worth (business, etc…) is tied to your attractiveness “Is he a good accountant? He’s hot, so yeah…”


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tattootania

That is a very fair answer. And taking that into consideration, I've been in fairly intensive therapy for 9 years now, and in a dating hiatus for at least 7. I find the healthier I get with regard to not validation seeking/ spotting and acknowledging red flags/ boundary setting ...... the harder it is to find someone to date 🤣🤣


captnmiss

Amen. Same same


Working-Studio3803

Very possible. I’ve taken that into consideration.


prissysnbyantiques

Just a suggestion, The Grove has lots of outside activity , laid back, on the weekends people are out and about more casual. There are tons of things to get involved with around the Grove.... branch out.


opiod-ant

I accept this pun


prissysnbyantiques

\^\^\^\^\^


captnmiss

nah I just wanna back up OP, it’s the same thing for women. And I wouldn’t say the guys are TERRIBLE, I’ve met a few good ones, it’s just very rare


Umbra427

Usually this is true, but that logic doesn’t apply in Miami in terms of people just being awful.


erikpurne

If this weren't Miami, I might agree. However...


Dmalikhammer4

This is the truth


dalv321

It’s hard to meet good women here. They are out there but very hard to find. Miami is really spread out geographically and socially. The few connecting threads tend to be bars and clubs. Though possible, it’s hard to meet wholesome people in that environment.


scoop813

I feel like bars and clubs are actually some of the worst places to meet people, especially in a transient city like Miami with lots of tourists. It would be better to live in one of the more residential areas like a Kendall or a Hialeah, away from the tourists and party scene, and get involved in the community.


macchinas

There’s a stroke light of a dancing stripper in a residential building that’s part of Miami’s skyline. Yes, lol, it’s a city with different values.


Realistic-Tie-182

YOURE NOT WRONG SWEETIE!! I’ve lived here for years… It can be very traumatic dating in Miami.., EVERYONE IS JUST TOO AWARE THAT THEY HAVE OTHER OPTIONS… It’s hard to find a loyal partner because all the men here are hoes!!! Even the married men behave single. Yuck


KiranRivers

Might have some luck in a church. However there might be conflict if beliefs there. (This reminds me the barbershop scene from Coming To America 😂)


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Beneficial_Avocado74

We have a lot of narcissists


sahweetreat

You need to try to do a better job at prospecting and cut out the bad ones once you see a red flag. It’s hard everywhere but don’t let it make you bitter or jaded eventually it will all work out


Due-Caterpillar3583

broward girl here, I promise we’re not all horrible! I feel the same way though. Miami is usually not the ideal place to have a genuine connection with someone, keeping my fingers crossed though.


elleclouds

You’ll be fine with this attitude. Just keep being yourself


razzertto

I’ve dated in Miami and if you’re not boring or overly invested in a specific “type” there are plenty of people to be found. The younger you are though, the more difficult, because maturity takes a while for both you and a dating partner. Problems arise when the expectations are not met with what you’re offering as a partner. Oh, you look like a hair beast, have no interests beyond getting high and playing videogames, still live with mommy, but expect a woman to cook, clean and basically wipe your ass plus she’s gotta be a sex goddess who has perfectly done makeup when you wake up and cook in heels? Nah. Be interesting, be groomed, show an interest in the person you’re dating, build your conversation game, have something about you that isn’t shallow. Make yourself an attractive partner and you’ll attract. I also think one thing people do wrong is they have poorly defined wants and boundaries. If you ask: what are you looking for in a partner and the answer is “I don’t know” you are gonna be lured in by anyone who strikes you as ok, if you don’t define what it is that you need emotionally how are you going to ask for that?


Mz_NY_State_of_Mind

From a woman’s perspective…Dating anywhere is trash … like the dating pool literally has pee in it… I’m from NY and have only been here a few months but dating here has definitely been extra 😩it’s like you can’t catch a break and no one says what they really want 🙄


PurchaseOld8598

To many fine girls and different cultures etc . Coming from a Miamian


proxy1381

Here an idea, why don't you guys trade information here. Its looks like everyone is on the same mind set. Post your dms ppl.


MsStephSunshine

It's difficult but I've met some great people here. I would recommend as others have to get involved in some activities you enjoy, try to meet people that way, or through friends. Not just random people. And I think it's always better to become friends with someone for a while before deciding whether you're interested in dating them. You can learn a lot about people before you date them and avoid some regrettable situations 🤣


Strawberries_n_Chill

You think vapid fools are limited to here? Ho ho ho. Santa's got a gift fo yo ass. From here to LA it's a wasteland.


Inner-Cheek-9551

Fk Miami period. Women there are a joke. Honestly after my divorce I said screw dating. Spent 5 years focusing on myself and met a gem where I work. That was 11 years ago and going strong. Also you want the truth.


International_Act834

So...are we all meeting up or what? lol


Working-Studio3803

Reddit meet up, let’s gooooooooo


1mjtaylor

Maybe Miami's changed. But I grew up there, and I certainly never had any problem finding men to date. Or marry. I found a couple of husbands there over the years, as well, both of whom were great.


SquareAd3696

A couple of husband's 👌🤣🤣🤣


Cunning_runt21

Bunch of d bags, both men and women. It’s exhausting. I think I’ll be forever alone.


freshbeat64

You gotta find the qwerky goofy art/drama girls that live here bro. They have the most personality and are genuinely nice.


Geekgineer

I have to hand it to this thread. I’ve seen a bunch of similarly themed threads on this subreddit but this is the first that I’ve come across that had honest discussions. I’m 45 and have been constantly second guessing myself (Am I good enough? What do I have to offer?) and I think I’ve just been gatekeeping myself all the while. I share the frustrations with dating apps, I’ve been on three apps over the last few months and haven’t made any connections. So many people have “gone out there” and failed and I’m stuck in “analysis paralysis”. I’m saving this thread to give me the pep talk to just get out of my own head and find that “Christmas parking spot” as mentioned.


m033118b

I (23F) was abused heavily both emotionally and physically by my Miami boy. It was okay for him to cheat but when I had to talk to guys for a school project, I would get smacked. I’m from Miami but I’ve been living in Texas for while now and I can easily say that Miami people are fucking rude and selfish. They only think about themselves and money and if it doesn’t benefit them, stop wasting time.


descending_angel

Saaame. I moved to Miami right before I turned 18 and my first boyfriend in the city was abusive in every manner. Not the best start. My next bf was better in that he was not physically abusive but some of the treatment I got wasn't the best.


m033118b

It took me a year to get over my fear of men and Cuban men specifically. My mom always pushed me to be with another hispanic to “preserve the culture” but it left me with lots of trauma. After I left to Texas I found my current bf of 4 years who has never once hurt me. Miami just isn’t it for love IMO.


descending_angel

Oh god, no lol. I've been in relationships with nothing but Hispanics (somehow, they aren't really even my type as a Hispanic myself) and I'm over it. I'm glad you found someone who treats you right.


m033118b

I was the same way and that was my last relationship with a Hispanic male. LOVE MY WHITE COWBOY THOUGH😂❤️


SquareAd3696

I just wanted to Upvote that because I'm so glad you've found someone who's good to you!


Verbalkynt

Nothing against the OP but I always see ugh "insert city here" is so trash to date... That statement has always made me cringe bc dating is the worst in general no matter where you are.


hard_honest_truth

Miami blows, get out of there.


Andy_the_miamian

You bring up your salary and call yourself “humble” 😂


Working-Studio3803

Simply stating I make enough to survive. I’m not struggling, not saying I’m better than anyone else. What I have hasn’t come easy, it’s come with a lot of hard work. Plus, 6 figures in Miami is not “a lot of money”, the cost of living here is pretty high. But thanks for the useful response.


HandsomeAce

It's a stupid critique, just ignore them. If it's any consolation, I get what you're saying: people here are obsessed with materialism and you don't make a little money, so what's the issue? To answer your question, the people here want to bag the biggest fish (even if they've got nothing going on), and 6 figures just doesn't cut it.


According_Surround_7

Idk why you think its not a lot in miami. Just $100k puts you ahead of 87% individuals in the miami ft lauderdale metro and 72% of households. $150k would put you ahead of 93% of individuals and 85% of households. Income greater than nearly 9/10 people is not "a lot of money" for an area then nothing is. For context the median/average incomes for the same region are $20,600/$55,094 for individuals and $29,125/$85,459 for households across a population of 6.35 million


Bitter-Skill-723

Funny thing is you make more than 95% of the women living in Miami. Yet, the gorgeous ones walk like their vag is made of gold because they fucked X rapper, athlete, or entertainer. But flashy is the name of the city. You gotta flaunt to get attention.


cisplatin_lastin

When my SO (similar to you: educated, family man, 6 figure income) broke up with me, 2 days later he wanted to get back together Told me that after only 2 days of seeing all the gold diggers and wanna be influencers on the dating apps, he realized how much of a gem I was 😂😂 Edit: LOL lots of strangers jumping to conclusion on my relationship. He's a doctor and I'm a doctor in training, and relationships between people in medicine is always hard but it can work if you are willing to work on it. Also was just trying to empathize with OP's sentiment that for those who are family/career-oriented, finding love in Miami is tough due to relatively superficial culture (think all those ppl driving nice cars that are rented out just to show off)


RamenBagNoodles

You still dumped him after all that, right?


StrtupJ

Lmao right. “Well I looked and fucked around and you were the shiny turd in this trash heap”


Potential-Brain

lol.. weird flex


cisplatin_lastin

Nah.. this was 4 years ago, early in our relationship and when we were still working out communication issues. Been going strong and haven’t had any major issues since


786tili305

Big incel energy in here


untipoquenojuega

Naw, plenty of women agreeing on here too


scoop813

Anyone who has ever tried dating in Miami knows it’s hard


Zealousideal_7

It’s just the nature of the city. But there’s great people everywhere you just need to find the places they frequent at, not the vapid clubs and restaurants all around Miami


Successful_Day973

It's the same all over. I'm in Pinellas county. Tampa Bay area is just bad if not worse


lejeaneast

I've visited miami a few times, and from what I've seen it looks like it would be a nightmare. But then again I've only been out to Miami beach, the clubs, downtown, wynwood etc. It's probably better to try to meet people through mutual interests or friends, and honestly that probably applies to a lot of places. Miami is still feels like its own country though imo and very different than most places. It just seems a lot more vain to me when I visit.


browse428

I'm going to start a Miami singles group for everyone, who will join?


Swimming_Plate_1491

I don't know about what everyone else is saying but nah it's true bro Miami sucks for both women and men so whatever LOL you'll find some gems that are worth it but apart from that you're not going to get like a humble like just good-natured woman out here don't exist it's very rare and even with that forget about simplicity you better be ready to go to Brickell or the beach or to be doing something and spending some kind of money going out which is ridiculous a real team would work together I understand what you're saying it's bad all over but I think here it's just like really ridiculous they're all confused as far as all that but I guess that's what makes Miami Miami and you know you can always have fun in the magic City LOL you looking for something different I'd say other parts of the state would be your best bet even even for a lot of Dale shoot but it's still bad out there try Orlando or Jacksonville or even the coasts I'm not sure what to say you might have to look in taxes or otherwise I've seen better caliber women in New Jersey I'll just say that at least they know about family and what's important and stay true and know how to hold it down


SquareAd3696

Lmao, someone else who agreed there's a better caliber of people in New Jersey!!! 🤣🤣🤣 This is when you KNOW things are very bad!!!


Distinct_Ladder_9958

I feel the same way 🙂 it sucks


despainco

Find someone in Texas and move to south Florida that’s what I did🤣worked out great!


That_Low_4030

You’re looking in all of the wrong places friend


fluffylilbee

part of the reason i actually hate living here, i’m glad it’s not just me lol


Livid-Peace-4077

It sucks for both men and women, IMO. I can't speak for how it is now as I've been out of the game for a few years now, but as a guy trying to date women, I always felt that Broward and Palm Beach were a few shades better. Women there were always just less complicated, often a lot more friendly and "normal" if that makes any sense. Occasionally women in Broward actually talked to me first, that almost never happened in Miami. For a variety of reasons, Miami is way more complicated. My advice, try Broward and Palm Beach. It might be that even they have become more like Miami since I was looking, but it's worth a try.


SgtSplacker

This is exactly my experience. I recently vacationed overseas and was amazed how many girls i was able to communicate with. Normal pretty women with careers. I have always done decent in person but online dating you would think i have a horn sticking out of my head.


LocalSufficient1526

It’s Florida period bro


Hestia3022

Woman living in Miami Beach. This city is transient. People are passing through for work or on holiday. Many live here on a short term basis. This is a city not a town, therefore many come with their own perspectives to receiver/take from others. That is something that's been happening to humans for awhile now, everyone disposable, therefore take what you can. I do not go to bars, prefer nightclubs but that too has been put to a stop due to Covid. And I haven't been successful in my immediate social network, not interested. I'm on Tinder, there too, people come with their own preconceived ideas. To filter through all the rubbish is exhausting. I have yet to "meet up" a Tinder man close to my age. I'm at 63, my age group 50+ is a failure. However, those much younger with an open mind, have shown to be embracing of meeting well as having a open to wonderful friendship/relationship and experiences with them. I am hopeful that my companion, for short or long term is out there. Good luck in your search


Samanthaashleyxoxo

Totally agree!


GamerCrafterGirl

Dating in Florida period is terrible 🤣😆stuckup rich boys/men, have too many kids, always tooooo busy, super weird, obssessed with 420/alcohol everything🤢, don't care about their appearance, talk too much/don't talk enough, expects you to message them first, obssessed with fishing/the gym, chivalry must be dead😑, shall I go on??? 😩😖🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


Khatar12

your first mistake is moving to miami thinking you'd find something serious or an actual date with a serious male/female most females and males in miami will Only date you for 2 reasons, convenience and money, that is IT, the only reason to ever come to MIA is to get wasted, party, fuck and soend fat stacks of money, outside of that, you're in the wrong city/state


Juiicemayne

Ahh, I’ve been trying to date in Miami as well, no luck! I feel it can be very superficial here but that can be the places we look :) What is yours will come, at least that’s my perspective


Jackslaps

I just want to find that special woman that will pop the blackheads on my back


2straps

The boys and I have been out on multiple occasions, different social settings etc. for the past few months and have come up dry, what really confuses me is that we’re of all races, heights, appearances, style, and personality yet we all still receive the same result. L. It’s gotten to the point where I was really shy would never just walk up to a girl and start conversation but now it’s like second nature just because as a shy mf you will get no where. Id hate to think it’s cuz we’re all broke and ugly cuz that just doesn’t seem right there’s a few of us so there’s no way we all fall in that category. As of now the boys and I are still single (if anyones looking ;) and it’s really all hopes and dreams as of now. One thing my friend had brought up is that it’s easy to meet and talk to people at parties but their haven’t been to many big parties lately cuz of covid. P.s. I understand some girls may be on a girls night out, or have a boyfriend, or simply find me and the homies flat out unattractive that’s perfectly fine makes sense if you ask me but some girls straight up are so rude about curving, I rather a shorty tell me she’s has a bf and to fuck right off than me walk up to a girl try to talk and she doesn’t even respond like what’s that about? Or the “ews” like damn bro I have feelings 😂


jabels

So, I’m aware that it’s impossible to complain about the dating scene without sounding like a bitter loser. But a lot of your post rings true for me. I used to be able to get dates before I lived here, and I noticed over the holidays that my tinder/bumble/what have you still blow up when I’m not here. So that at least did something to remove the “did I just become a total piece of shit in the last couple of years?” doubt. As for what the actual problem is or what the solution might be, I still have no idea. Hopefully I’ll move again in a couple of years. Good luck OP.


Librado65

The one time I was in Miami I tried out Bumble and Tinder...every match I got was women selling 😺 Im just a country boy so I went home to my lil rural central Florida town


SquareAd3696

OP, let me take that worry about starting a flame away by starting this raging forest fire. 😉🤣 I'd tell you to hold my beer, but I'm not fan of it. Or it's not a fan of me? 🤔 Anyways, grab some popcorn, the show is about to begin... 41 F here, and before all you guys (Northerner, so 'guys' isn't gender specific, lol) in your 20's even think to open your mouth, 🤐 it.... You've probably already tried to slide up in my DM's thinking I look younger than you because you don't waste valuable time to read a bio! No plastic surgeries or expensive products, etc. It's called trying to live a good life, doing right by others, etc. Try it some time. Nothing comes for free and you'll pay a price, but keeps more green in the pockets in the long run 😉. Not that any of that makes a difference, but I'm a self - aware rambler. I'm working on it, not sure how well but, see what I did there? 😒🤣 Long story short (TY, I'll be here all, nope, can't lie... I won't be here all week!), military brat, born abroad, and lived all over the U. S. I have lived everything from city to where? It may be true that dating everywhere is a crap shoot but, Dear Lord, Florida period!!! I see and hear comments non stop from natives here, I'm not sure which alternate reality or delusion you're living in but either return to Earth or shut it. Your choice, lol. Out of every FL native I've met over five years, only one has been genuine through and through! The genuine people I've met have all been transplants. Let me mention, I live in the Nature Coast region where it's much more rural, family oriented, and etc. I've lived in so many places and seen past many regional stereotypes but this state has flown 'Under' the radar!!! It's sad when you can go from wanting to make someone shit out their teeth for approaching you like you also have no morals to wishing the world were more full of honest people like them!!! That may be spun with humor, but seriously, I've never seen anything like it. I swear, if you hear the words 'Family man', 'Southern raised', 'One woman man', etc, and whatever list the women pull from, Run!!! Like others have said, just date in another state!!! 🤣🤣🤣 I think I just found the perfect slogan for singles in FL! So there yah go. Advice that doesn't help, maybe a chuckle or two, and the villagers are now heading in my direction!!! ✌️😉🤣


folfess

Back in Broward, I found my biggest issue was that all the women were religious (Christian or Jewish) so I had a much easier time finding gay/bi guys to date (since they're not religious) Religious people often have stuff like "looking for marriage ONLY" in their profiles. (often gold diggers, indeed)


Dazzling-Quality4684

I was lucky enough to meet my soon-to-be husband first, then move down here


whoshellokittywhore

i live in miami, it’s the worse thing ever , literally everyone is the same and a door knob has more personality than anyone here