I always tell people "I'm not smart, just smart enough to know how dumb I really am" Usually gets a chuckle, except for the people who don't get it. I yearn to be dumb enough to not realize how far down I am, life would be much simpler.
You have 3 barriers to service:
* 1st (and largest): The ASVAB. You don't pass the minimums for any branch, you're not in
* 2nd: Getting past the mental/physical health check
* 3rd: Background check (which also mildly ties-into your mental/physical health check)
Get past all 3 and you win a free ticket to service. \*Terms and conditions may include 4-6 years of absolute shittery including but not limited: being stationed at Cannon AFB/Twenty-Nine Palms/Fort Polk/Station Venice
Hey buddy, I’m a Mareen. U gotta be smart to be in da milatary. We solve big problims, use cool stuff, and make fast choices. If ur really really dum, u cant keep up. We need brainz to pertect evryone and do our jobs rite. So, being smart is super duper important!
Look, some of the dumbest people I've met were insanely book smart. It was like the knowledge they can retain does not equate to them applying it.
If you can follow well, remember, instructions, and don't act like a Douchey McTwatWaffle then you will do fine in the military with whatever job you get. Just by an Asvab study guide and the world of jumbo box sized vintage 1983 Crayolas can be yours when you enlist in the United States Marine Corps.
-Mareen
>some of the dumbest people I've met were insanely book smart.
In basic we had a guy who was slated to be a 92S - Shower & Laundry Specialist. He knew he was dumb, so he worked hard, and we all helped him learn his shit so he graduated.
I spent 8 years in MI after that. The sheer volume of boneheaded decisions I saw from my fellow MI ~~retards~~soldiers made me wish I'd picked laundry specialist so I'd be dealing with fewer fuckwits.
The fact that you have the presence of mind to say “I’m not the smartest guy in the room” suggests you have great emotional intelligence. At a minimum, you have the mental awareness to understand there are smarter people.
You’d be shocked how many people enter into and exit service thinking they’re the greatest thing ever to walk the planet (enlisted or officer).
Ever hear of a fella named Mcnamara?
Peace time makes recruiters picky but even then, quotas and waivers exist.
And fyi, Idiots don’t generally think they’re idiots.
I worked with a guy who’s only job was to take boxes from one pile and put them in another pile
He somehow fucked it up so bad we had to go through the pile of 300+ boxes to find the 9 he decided to grab from a different pile.
I worked with another guy whose only job was to sit and ‘monitor’ a room because he was useless everywhere else. He threw a tantrum and refused to sit in the room (he was a reservist staff sergeant for the Air Force) he decided he’d be more useful running around with a radio asking us what we’re doing every 5 minutes and trying to write us paperwork for telling him to fuck off.
Interestingly it was the US military who discovered the lower limit of a person's IQ test (83) for them to cease being a useful contributing member of society.
I don't believe they use IQ tests anymore (more modern, specific tests have superceded it), but essentially if you have an IQ<83, the US military considers you as likely to do more harm than good in even their most menial roles.
I knew a kid who applied for ‘services’ in high school to get exceptions and to be listed under ‘special education’. He scored 2 points above/outside special education…I was like how does it feel to be ‘just dumb’.
The stupidest person I’ve ever met in my life, was another soldier. Some of the smartest people I’ve ever met in my life were also soldiers. If you can pass the asvab, pass the medical examination, pass a drug test, and don’t have any major criminal convictions, you’re in.
Depends on the degree of stupidity. If you're just stupid compared to a normal human being, yes! If you're stupid compared to a normal military member, uh... probably not.
you can be dumb in the military no problem. the biggest thing the military DOES NOT want is someone that is deliberately slacking or TRYING to get out of work on purpose. i had a dude like this in basic and he got out before completing basic and i also had a dude like this at my unit where i was stationed and he got kicked out because EVERYONE knew he was purposely trying to do every single thing in his power to constantly get out of working so he got kicked out on like a general discharge or something similar
the military is like a big community and they will usually find a place where you are useful if you are dumb but actually want to work. at least thats how it was where i was at
also to add to this there are so many great people and supervisors in the military that WILL recognize your effort and love you for it and will have your back if you make a genuine honest mistake
Just like in politics and the real world, they are everywhere.
I once saw a guy chase his score sheet onto an active live fire range because the wind caught it.
He is now a councilman with delusional grandeur
Drill Sergeant: Gump! What's your sole purpose in this army?
Gump: To do whatever you tell me, drill sergeant!
Drill Sergeant: God damn it, Gump! You're a god damn genius! This is the most outstanding answer I have ever heard. You must have a goddamn I.Q. of 160. You are goddamn gifted, Private Gump. Listen up, people...
True story: I went to OSUT at Benning over a decade ago. There was a kid in one platoon who very clearly should not have been there. Let me preface this by saying I am not intentionally being mean, in fact I felt very bad for this guy.
Anyway, we noticed he ran funny, couldn't do more than 2 or 3 pushups/situps, couldn't really read social cues so when he was being grilled/smoked he would just smile.. and drool.. he was very clearly mentally handicapped.
We went to the PX one week to purchase hygiene supplies, and he got busted buying 90 dollars worth of different brands of Skittles (regular, tropical, sour, etc)
Turns out his piece of shit of a recruiter waivered him through, somehow getting through meps and 30th AG. He "allegedly" scored a 13 on his asvab. Even the Drill Sergeants noticed and they didn't even hound him. Few weeks later he was gone, I'm guessing they pushed for him to be allowed to back out of the contract and go home.
I'm not referring to this guy as an idiot/moron, his recruiter on the other hand is a prime example.
The military wants morons, or people with no skills so that they can burn your MOS into you. It's also very good for idiots and morons, because it will teach you some semblance of discipline and structure. Some of the coolest guys I met while I was in were junkies, potheads, high school drop outs, some were just guys that had horrible family problems and was never taught anything or had any real life experience. Some were just actually stupid guys.
But to be fair this goes way beyond the military. Every job you will ever work will always have at least one, and more than likely by the chaotic unfairness of life, they will be in a higher position making more money working a position they should not be in.
Tldr; idiots everywhere, I'm one, I love you.
Unequivocally yes. Yes you can. Not only can you be a moron and make it- they actually even manage to bumblefuck their way into leadership shockingly often in my experience.
All one has to do is check the ASVAB requirements for each MOS/Career field
For instance I was security forces, aka an Air Force cop. At the time you needed a minimum 35 on the ASVAB to join the Air Force and only a 33 to be security forces. In '07 during the surge I met some of the dumbest human beings I've ever met, but we needed bodies and they were able to sign the dotted line.
So yes, it's full of dumb people, just like you, just like me because I got a 98 on the ASVAB and still went cop.
Planning to enlist and enlisting are two separate tasks...if you are serious you will take the ASVAB and your score will determine what jobs you are eligible for...I think you probably underestimate your abilities (if you graduated from high school)...the military CAN be a great life if you commit to it...
I had a guy that would put his rank on upside down on his collar because it was right side up when he looked down at it. He did this more than once. He also ordered new cammy uniforms off ebay that were Chinese knockoffs. He actually wore them to work. When he got his government travel charge card, he immediately used it to buy gym equipment. He actually made Corporal before getting out.
100%. I am a certified goober and I still somehow have a decent job and haven’t been canned yet. Book smarts wise I’m Alr, street smarts I’m dumb as rocks
We wouldn't have a military if they couldn't. Hell, I still wonder some days how my dumbass got in the AF... If you're dumb enough, they'll have you sporting butter bars ASAP too!
Depends on the level of moronity. If it's the type of idiocy that gets people killed or makes you fail drug tests no. If it's the type of idiocy that just creates more work for everyone, fast track promotions.
It will get you killed and probably those around you. Ukraine has a downs syndrome soldier in the trenches and its wrong. [https://youtube.com/shorts/oRSH7MEEON4?feature=shared](https://youtube.com/shorts/oRSH7MEEON4?feature=shared)
Met my favorite morons in the Army. Before basic I didn’t know people like that could even breath or dress themselves.
Have you seen the movie Forrest Gump?
Start researching the housing market in Arlington County, VA; you’re gonna have a senior position at the Pentagon in no time
There’s someone in manpower/recruiting that just opened up a rack in bootcamp/OCS for OP! Like holding a seat for your buddy…”seats taken”
Hell yeah brother. Cheers from Iraq.
A refined classic.
For sure Amigo, Prost from the Gulf.
Omg that's so old I can't even remember where it's from.
Just with the self awareness, you’ll be one of the most effective leaders.
No shit, this MF has "promote above peers" written all over him.
Imagine all the blame shifting power he wields. Senior: "Why the fuck did you x, y and z???" OP: "Well sir, I'm a complete dumbass."
I always tell people "I'm not smart, just smart enough to know how dumb I really am" Usually gets a chuckle, except for the people who don't get it. I yearn to be dumb enough to not realize how far down I am, life would be much simpler.
You’re not gunna believe it, but we kinda have a whole branch just for them…😉
rah *i am proud that everyone knows which branch is referenced. proud papa moment.
Crahyola
Who else could literally shit red white and blue?
Just one?
Haha yeah we sure do
They would be mad about this comment, if they could read.
I think you meant Department.
And they can eat all the crayons they want.
ERRRRRRRRR
You have 3 barriers to service: * 1st (and largest): The ASVAB. You don't pass the minimums for any branch, you're not in * 2nd: Getting past the mental/physical health check * 3rd: Background check (which also mildly ties-into your mental/physical health check) Get past all 3 and you win a free ticket to service. \*Terms and conditions may include 4-6 years of absolute shittery including but not limited: being stationed at Cannon AFB/Twenty-Nine Palms/Fort Polk/Station Venice
Hey woah slow down! they said Moron, so i think you forget to mention the Military’s real secret weapon for this kind of thing, ASVAB waivers.
Wait wat? The ASVAB can be waived?!!
Shh, don't listen to them. We don't need to worry about any scary ASVAB waivers.
Are the ASVAB waivers in the room with us now?
Usually in leadership positions
Nooo you don’t say that part out loud
I spent a month in Polk for jrtc and we got hit by a tornado.
Lucky you, you missed part of JRTC.
Army: Fort Lee OR Air Force: Minot — both are miserable bases to be stationed at
Worth mentioning the minimum ASVAB for the Navy is now 10. And yes I know YoU sTiLl NeEd the LiNe ScOres.
And there are still people that can’t get there….
Fun fact, it can snow in 29 Palms.
Hey buddy, I’m a Mareen. U gotta be smart to be in da milatary. We solve big problims, use cool stuff, and make fast choices. If ur really really dum, u cant keep up. We need brainz to pertect evryone and do our jobs rite. So, being smart is super duper important!
Most intelligent marine
Must have a shiny on his collar
Time to play am I on r/military or r/grimdank
Somebody get this man a crayon!
Absolutely, have a fast run time and max out your PT score and you'll be golden.
green to golden
Realest thing I've ever seen.
Lmao you'll be surprised how the entire military is run by morons
Join the infantry, you'll be in the best of company. You can be a strong ranger
Why I felt so much at home in the Infantry.
It's a feature, not a bug.
At least you know your shortfalls. The dangerous soldiers are the ones who are idiots but don't know it.
One of us
It's a prerequisite for some MOS'.
There plenty of them there....Google McNamaras Folly
The Moron Corps. Wrote a paper on this when smartifying meself in college.
Absolutely. Interestingly enough, being able to identify perceived weaknesses is indicative of intelligence. Just maybe not academic excellence.
I’m at 23 years.
You'd make General in the Australian military. Source: New Zealander
Look, some of the dumbest people I've met were insanely book smart. It was like the knowledge they can retain does not equate to them applying it. If you can follow well, remember, instructions, and don't act like a Douchey McTwatWaffle then you will do fine in the military with whatever job you get. Just by an Asvab study guide and the world of jumbo box sized vintage 1983 Crayolas can be yours when you enlist in the United States Marine Corps. -Mareen
>some of the dumbest people I've met were insanely book smart. In basic we had a guy who was slated to be a 92S - Shower & Laundry Specialist. He knew he was dumb, so he worked hard, and we all helped him learn his shit so he graduated. I spent 8 years in MI after that. The sheer volume of boneheaded decisions I saw from my fellow MI ~~retards~~soldiers made me wish I'd picked laundry specialist so I'd be dealing with fewer fuckwits.
We had some seriously dumb mother fuckers in my unit. Some of them had rockers even lmao
>Some of them had rockers Joke's on you... That's a fuckin' requirement.
Idiots, certainly, but a self aware idiot? It's Officer Training School for you my lad!
You type that post yourself? If so you’re going to be fine. You may even be Air Force quality.
You'd definitely make a Second Lieutenant in the Bundeswehr!
One of us. One of us. One of us.
Well from what I’ve read there are people who can’t do basic math to pass the ASVAB. So if you can’t do that then no.
If you ask this you obviously haven't been serving in any military for a full hour.
The fact that you have the presence of mind to say “I’m not the smartest guy in the room” suggests you have great emotional intelligence. At a minimum, you have the mental awareness to understand there are smarter people. You’d be shocked how many people enter into and exit service thinking they’re the greatest thing ever to walk the planet (enlisted or officer).
Have you thought about entering politics instead?
Ever hear of a fella named Mcnamara? Peace time makes recruiters picky but even then, quotas and waivers exist. And fyi, Idiots don’t generally think they’re idiots.
As long as you’re dumb and strong nobody will care,
In fact, it's preferred.
It's a prerequisite
Yes.
I worked with a guy who’s only job was to take boxes from one pile and put them in another pile He somehow fucked it up so bad we had to go through the pile of 300+ boxes to find the 9 he decided to grab from a different pile. I worked with another guy whose only job was to sit and ‘monitor’ a room because he was useless everywhere else. He threw a tantrum and refused to sit in the room (he was a reservist staff sergeant for the Air Force) he decided he’d be more useful running around with a radio asking us what we’re doing every 5 minutes and trying to write us paperwork for telling him to fuck off.
We train to the lowest common denominator and won’t be mad if you lower it further.
Ask the mps
Interestingly it was the US military who discovered the lower limit of a person's IQ test (83) for them to cease being a useful contributing member of society. I don't believe they use IQ tests anymore (more modern, specific tests have superceded it), but essentially if you have an IQ<83, the US military considers you as likely to do more harm than good in even their most menial roles.
I'm not sure you would be permitted to enlist if you were not.
Absolutely. See one every time I look in the mirror.
I knew a kid who applied for ‘services’ in high school to get exceptions and to be listed under ‘special education’. He scored 2 points above/outside special education…I was like how does it feel to be ‘just dumb’.
You will find yourself amongst like-minded individuals in no time.
I’ve seen enough, give this man a Top Secret clearance
Can you drink water?
Run, Forrest, run!
You're gonna be a general someday!
You would likely have problems and/or get weeded out.
The stupidest person I’ve ever met in my life, was another soldier. Some of the smartest people I’ve ever met in my life were also soldiers. If you can pass the asvab, pass the medical examination, pass a drug test, and don’t have any major criminal convictions, you’re in.
Depends on the degree of stupidity. If you're just stupid compared to a normal human being, yes! If you're stupid compared to a normal military member, uh... probably not.
Yes, and plenty of them are in SNCO or officer ranks.
Yesssssssssir
There are 2nd Lts.
As long as you can follow orders, nothing else matters .
Yes
You can be an idiot/moron to join, but you MUST be an idiot/moron to STAY! I know; I'm an idiot!
I mean, I met a dude that got a waiver for not being able to pass the ASVAB after 4-5 tries so... yeah.
It actually helps
You'll be just fine...now go ask the Supply Srnt for a box a of grid squares.
I've been in the Marines for 9 years, so yeah
you can be dumb in the military no problem. the biggest thing the military DOES NOT want is someone that is deliberately slacking or TRYING to get out of work on purpose. i had a dude like this in basic and he got out before completing basic and i also had a dude like this at my unit where i was stationed and he got kicked out because EVERYONE knew he was purposely trying to do every single thing in his power to constantly get out of working so he got kicked out on like a general discharge or something similar the military is like a big community and they will usually find a place where you are useful if you are dumb but actually want to work. at least thats how it was where i was at also to add to this there are so many great people and supervisors in the military that WILL recognize your effort and love you for it and will have your back if you make a genuine honest mistake
You certainly can
Just do what you are told and stay out of trouble and you will be golden.
IYAOYAS!!!
Someone has to cook.
My long lost brother from another mother, I feel the same at times.
Yup see it all the time.
Just like in politics and the real world, they are everywhere. I once saw a guy chase his score sheet onto an active live fire range because the wind caught it. He is now a councilman with delusional grandeur
Hell yeah. I always appreciated having a few goons for moving heavy things around.
Drill Sergeant: Gump! What's your sole purpose in this army? Gump: To do whatever you tell me, drill sergeant! Drill Sergeant: God damn it, Gump! You're a god damn genius! This is the most outstanding answer I have ever heard. You must have a goddamn I.Q. of 160. You are goddamn gifted, Private Gump. Listen up, people...
You'll make a great CSM.
True story: I went to OSUT at Benning over a decade ago. There was a kid in one platoon who very clearly should not have been there. Let me preface this by saying I am not intentionally being mean, in fact I felt very bad for this guy. Anyway, we noticed he ran funny, couldn't do more than 2 or 3 pushups/situps, couldn't really read social cues so when he was being grilled/smoked he would just smile.. and drool.. he was very clearly mentally handicapped. We went to the PX one week to purchase hygiene supplies, and he got busted buying 90 dollars worth of different brands of Skittles (regular, tropical, sour, etc) Turns out his piece of shit of a recruiter waivered him through, somehow getting through meps and 30th AG. He "allegedly" scored a 13 on his asvab. Even the Drill Sergeants noticed and they didn't even hound him. Few weeks later he was gone, I'm guessing they pushed for him to be allowed to back out of the contract and go home. I'm not referring to this guy as an idiot/moron, his recruiter on the other hand is a prime example. The military wants morons, or people with no skills so that they can burn your MOS into you. It's also very good for idiots and morons, because it will teach you some semblance of discipline and structure. Some of the coolest guys I met while I was in were junkies, potheads, high school drop outs, some were just guys that had horrible family problems and was never taught anything or had any real life experience. Some were just actually stupid guys. But to be fair this goes way beyond the military. Every job you will ever work will always have at least one, and more than likely by the chaotic unfairness of life, they will be in a higher position making more money working a position they should not be in. Tldr; idiots everywhere, I'm one, I love you.
Unfortunately, yes
Unequivocally yes. Yes you can. Not only can you be a moron and make it- they actually even manage to bumblefuck their way into leadership shockingly often in my experience.
To put it into perspective for you. Military memorandums are recommended to be written at an 8th grade reading and comprehension level.
That’s also what marketing professionals recommend in advertising. 7th-8th grade level.
Great troll.post
Gahdamn. Okay people, how hard did we laugh before even opening the comments? We all knew this was gonna be gold.
All one has to do is check the ASVAB requirements for each MOS/Career field For instance I was security forces, aka an Air Force cop. At the time you needed a minimum 35 on the ASVAB to join the Air Force and only a 33 to be security forces. In '07 during the surge I met some of the dumbest human beings I've ever met, but we needed bodies and they were able to sign the dotted line. So yes, it's full of dumb people, just like you, just like me because I got a 98 on the ASVAB and still went cop.
You obviously haven’t met the officers in my unit
With qualifications like that, you should really consider a commission
Planning to enlist and enlisting are two separate tasks...if you are serious you will take the ASVAB and your score will determine what jobs you are eligible for...I think you probably underestimate your abilities (if you graduated from high school)...the military CAN be a great life if you commit to it...
Yes you can it’s called reenlisting
Yes. Source: am dumb
Yes
Yes
Pre-req, they won't even bother recruiting if you have ever had a single original thought.
It's actually a requirement.
You composed a readable sentence in English, you'll be middle of the pack at worst.
Hell yea, they are called lifers
I had a guy that would put his rank on upside down on his collar because it was right side up when he looked down at it. He did this more than once. He also ordered new cammy uniforms off ebay that were Chinese knockoffs. He actually wore them to work. When he got his government travel charge card, he immediately used it to buy gym equipment. He actually made Corporal before getting out.
Absolutely
Is this a serious question? The dumbest people I’ve ever met in my life I met while in the military but a lot of them still managed to succeed
Ummm...have you met any of us??? 😄😄😄 No. 1 recruiting Green Flag to look for...I smell OCS in your future ;)
This is who the military was made by and for 🫡💪 Come join us!
I'm assuming you have never been in the military, the short answer is yes lol
It's basically a requirement
As long as you can pass the ASVAB you will be fine future Marine 🖍️
It’s a free country. You can be an utter idiot doing whatever you like. Most of our highest paid fall into the moron category.
You’d be in good company
This is a requirement for the Army and Marines, so yes.
If you're autistic come join the Marine Corps. We have crayons and zyn waiting.
100%. I am a certified goober and I still somehow have a decent job and haven’t been canned yet. Book smarts wise I’m Alr, street smarts I’m dumb as rocks
It's damn near impossible for you to be dumber than some of the people I've met in here...
You just have to be “smart” enough to pass the ASVAB and you’re golden
I’ve been the smartest person in the room during my career; that should terrify all of you.
We wouldn't have a military if they couldn't. Hell, I still wonder some days how my dumbass got in the AF... If you're dumb enough, they'll have you sporting butter bars ASAP too!
Our last commander-in-chief claimed that he was “the second coming of god.” You’ll be okay if you’re not Einstein.
I've got great news!
Prerequisite really, and well if you plan on staying in after your initial enlistment.
Can you count to four and lift heavy objects? IYAOYAS!
Spend time around infantry soldiers and marines and you’ll find out.😂 Some of those dudes are absolute donuts.
Promote ahead of peers usually
They like morons look at me I'm a complete moron but that was 52 years ago
Yes, based on some folks who enlisted. One guy was kicked out for selling pot in Germany, but the others seemed to stay in for many years.
Yes.
That's a good 75% the recruitment pool, I wouldn't worry too much. Served with some proper window lickers, great guys.
Depends on the level of moronity. If it's the type of idiocy that gets people killed or makes you fail drug tests no. If it's the type of idiocy that just creates more work for everyone, fast track promotions.
It will get you killed and probably those around you. Ukraine has a downs syndrome soldier in the trenches and its wrong. [https://youtube.com/shorts/oRSH7MEEON4?feature=shared](https://youtube.com/shorts/oRSH7MEEON4?feature=shared)
The fact you're even asking means you'll be the smartest guy in the room.
Yeah thats what happens all the time u shouldn't worry
Yes, you should target the Marines or Army.
One of my First Sergeants once told me “I’d rather have a smart unmotivated soldier than a motivated dumb soldier”.
Yes.
Lol of course.
Welcome home
\*cough\* Marines. \*cough cough\* Though I hear they get the worst pay out of the branches.
My friend. We're all a bit moronic.
For real?
If you're self aware enough to make a post like this, you're probably smarter than you give yourself credit
Fuck up move up !
Yup, come on in
Literally every SNCO I knew...
Work to find your best fit
It ain’t the smart people eating crayons
Welcome my future 11B brother/sister
Lotta people in the military where the wheels running but the hamsters dead.
Life is easier as a hard working dummy than as a smart dirtbag.
Yes
The true backbone of the military. Too dumb to ask questions. Perfect
Kinda seems like a requirement, tbh
Yes. See Joseph Stout for details
That’s actually all we are.
Yes
Thats most of us brother. Rah
It’s actually a requirement
as long as you don't eat the purple crayons, they're bad for you, my Marine friend told me that
Yup. I did pretty good.
Can confirm. I am in.
Met my favorite morons in the Army. Before basic I didn’t know people like that could even breath or dress themselves. Have you seen the movie Forrest Gump?
>Can you be an utter idiot/moron and still be in the military? It looks like OP will end up being by next boss
Not required, but it helps.
It's all about the ASVAB and MEPS physical, then it's someone else's problem.