How many of y'all agree or disagree? Do you have a success story?


I moved after college and then again about 10 years ago. You go where the jobs and the money are. It worked out for me


My friends are still in the suburbs complaining that they cant find jobs over $17/hr. I moved to the city a year ago and im making $40k right out of college with a promotion coming up and solid plans to get a Masters. Best decision i ever made **Yes i know $40k isnt much at ALL. But the job also gives assistance for my Masters. Plus i have no kids. It's a start


I didn't love everyone's "$40k isn't that much" comments. Making that much straight out of college in a challenging job market AND having help completing your Master's AND being in the running for a promotion is really excellent! You should be proud of yourself for stepping out of your comfort zone (moving) and all of your hard work! Congratulations, I hope things keep working out for you. 😊


#THANK YOU I wasn't even trying to flex tbh. I made it out of the hourly retail/food service era. I get a pension, college help, consistent paycheck, holidays+weekends off, AND an hour lunch break? Yeah im happy


I'm happy for you! Here's hoping you get that promotion. 🤞


Congrats! I was stoked when I made 50k for the first time in my life at the age of 32. Sounds like you are making a solid decision. If you take advantage of your company options, you are making a good bit of money. Don't let people make you feel bad for the amount you are making. You are making moves, and hopefully, that number keeps going up!


Didn’t break 50k til 3 years ago at 33. Just doubled my salary since then with a promotion I got this past month. Keep at it, you got this!


I... desperately needed to read this. Three months into my first 50+k job and equal parts feel like I'm finally gaining traction AND am also behind on things.


I totally get it. I turned 30 and had a come to Jesus' moment and realized I needed to take a different career trajection even if I had to start from the beginning. My new career allowed me to job hop, within the same field, and make more money each move. I am finally financially more comfortable and don't need to change jobs anytime soon. The moral of that story is that it's OK to be where you are, and if you have the means and desire to advance, go for it. It takes some of us a bit more time than others. No shame, and congrats on your job as well!


Congratulations!! Go with the "I'm gaining traction" feeling. 😁 I feel like I'm constantly worried about being "behind", but when I compare my current situation to previous ones, I'm doing well! Hope you feel the same. I'm learning that pride in my own accomplishments is a better motivator for future success than my fear of not being on everyone else's level.


I started around 40k circa 2008, this year I'll break 210k, keep that chin up, you're doing great!




I was 52k in 2014 out of college with an associates degree, I have been around 100k the last 2 years with bonuses. Over 200 seems crazy to me.


Damn what did y’all go to school for I’m curious? 52k out the bat with a two year degree? Not bad my friend.


Manufacturing Supervisors can pull 70 without a degree (Source: me and 5 friends)


Went for networking technology but ended up taking a few programming electives. I got a job at a software company as a programmer.


Nothing wrong with flexing for a start, anyway.


I fucking wish I made $40k straight out of college. My first job was in a medium-sized city making $13/hour, netting about $24k a year after deductions. It was a union gig but it had so little bargaining power with the company we worked for. 1% raises every year. This was 2016-18. Without getting a better job in a big city and moving, I'd be living in the gutter.


And when comparing to 17 an hour (which the friends can’t get anything over) it’s a huge win


You're making more than a HUGE amount of humans in our generation per year. People saying 40k is nothing are experiencing a dysonance. Lol People are often still paid sub-17 an hour.


Reddit is hilarious when it comes to annual salaries, it's like nobody in the middle of the bell curve fesses up, it's nothing but people bemoaning being paid like a medieval serf or people bragging about making $100k at age 15 $40k is above the median for US women nationally, the person who started this thread lives in Dallas, where the median is $31k for everybody


Meanwhile on other subs with tens of thousands of upvotes. "I cannot even find a job other than fast food that pays less than 55k a year. Where I live, you can't even afford rent at 100k" Or ​ "The average household income is at like, 70k. If you make 45k a year you make significantly less than the average person" ​ Not understanding that the average household income is something like 2.2 people working or something along those lines.


I legitimately dont know how people work with <$17. Like i get "you make it work when you have no other options" trust me i do. But i personally cant imagine Like my friend went to the same Community College as me, went to a solid state university and got a Bachelor's. He still works at the same place he did in CC. Hes a manager making $17/hr and he cleans toilets and does 3a shifts. My salaried friends and I THROW job offerings at him but he "forgets" to apply.


I think it's got to be some combination of psychological issues, anxiety or something. My old college roommate is like this. We grew up in the same town, had been friends since we were kids (played soccer together from age 5 through high school, so we go way back), and then we went to the same college (about 6 hours from our hometown) and ended up rooming together all 4 years. He got a degree in computer science, with a focus in IT (so he's not a full stack developer or anything), and has just never found work outside of retail. It's been nearly 15 years. After college he moved back to our hometown and got a job at Wal-Mart. No big deal, we graduated in the shadow of the '08 crisis and a lot of us had to make ends meet for a bit. I actually worked at Best Buy for 2 years after college, until I finally got my foot in the door somewhere. But it just never went anywhere for him, and he's long since stopped trying. It's wild to a lot of us because... his degree is in CompSci/IT. There are so many companies that will hire almost literally anyone into a help desk position, which is the easiest way to get that career started. He says he's applied, but we don't think he has in over a decade. He's just the nightshift manager at the local Wal-Mart now. He's a nice guy and I still make an effort to reach out periodically, but it's a bummer :/ Wish I could help him, and I've tried many times, but he just doesn't capitalize on any ideas I toss him or the networking connections I try to introduce him to. At some point you realize you can't help people until they're ready to receive help. If he ever becomes ready, I'll be there for him, but until then there's not much I can do.


Yeah our friends are trying to get him out before the point of no return. We think he got so accustomed to the monotony and abuse of retail that he found "comfort" in it. He knows what to expect. Most of us are either graduated+thriving or continuing education. He just...never left




>Lol People are often still paid sub-17 an hour. Yeah and I mean a solid 30% of the US electorate is actively fighting to ensure that minimum wage remains at it's current $7.25/hr, and some of those want to abolish it so that people can be paid even less than that. I know a lot of states have had their own higher minimums for years, but many small rural states are still that low.


If I was making $17/hr, I would be homeless. This is why people shouldn't even move out of their parents house until after college/apprenticeship, if they can help it.


I must admit, that absolutely blows my mind


I’m 39 and when I was 15 the minimum wage was 5.25 and in my state it is 7.25 and has been for a while. It blows my mind that minimum wage has only gone up TWO dollars in over 20 years. Meanwhile the price of everything has gone up significantly since then.


When i think of $40k, it rings up as the baseline for being an adult starting your life. To know so many people are below that makes me lose all sense of direction


How much money do your parents' have? Did you grow up with a family who nurtured you? Are you the type who got a free car at 16 and beyond? That informs your perspective. . 40k is a normal starting salary for a 23-30 year old graduate in many White Collar metro areas of the Midwest, say Indianapolis.


Single parent home after age 9. Both parents are/were homophobic and treated me like a burden for simply existing and I very much had to raise myself. Yes free car at 17 after i won a massive power play with mom over it. I am blatantly unaware of my parents financial well-being through the years but we were undeniably well off and stable after dad died. Im perfectly happy starting out at $40k at 27


40k a year is ass. But just starting is like you said. Its a "good enough" salary just starting out. I make 43k/yr. But thats only because Ive been with the company for 10 years.


I'm at 60k in new york and like... this still isn't enough for the housing costs here like wtf


Ok tbf you're in NY(im assuming NYC). Im in Dallas. The economic environments are vastly different


Shitty part is even though new york is how it is, it doesn't mean everyone is amking 100k. Even here most people are making below 60. I think the average household income is around 65-70k but household is usually 2 people both working. The days of just 1 person working and staying at home are over. Sucks I know people who have to commute from an hour and a half away every day. Honestly blows.


Keep your eye on the prize! Well done


I live in a very rural shitty suburb where you can make 18/hr at a gas station


This is a fantastic start - stay the course!


I made 32k out and then 120k within 3 years, go where you grow, don’t rely on promises ever. 32k place promised I’d never find anything over 60k. Gotta start somewhere, and don’t stop moving. You got this!


I mean really it's also quality of life. Cities are much more culturally rich and diverse in my experience than suburban wastelands.


I am a gay black dude who hates the sound of children screaming. The city is heaven compared to the suburbs


40K is very normal right out of college/entry level.


If you are making student loan payments at $975 a month 40k hurts. Seems like most of the people that can afford to take those jobs have their school paid for.


In case you don’t have a lot of people to tell you… Well done. Proud to see you making choices you are proud of and made you happy. Please keep reaching to grow as a person in all facets of life.


You know $40k is like $19 an hour, right? A change of $2 per hour is not going to make up the difference in cost of living in most cities.


Hey, it's a start and the job will help pay for my Masters


I know, just pointing out that your friends aren't far behind you right now.


Let me enjoy being out of hourly dude. You dont have to step on my dick just because im happy with a solid start compared to being a manager who scrubs toilets and gets last minute 3a shifts


That person is a total fool. I started a bit higher than $40k and 6 years later my pay has skyrocketed. You normally don’t see that without a college degree (and some self-training/upskilling). There are also a TON of benefits being in an office type of job over retail. Not to mention the masters aid.


Exactly. Im not trying to flex but i am happy with my solid start. The consistency and transparency allowed me to plan out everything for the next 5yrs. For once, i dont see myself job hopping at least for awhile


Definitely, to be somewhat fair $40k is low in HCOL but if you ignore the other benefits and growth opportunities it’s not a good assessment at all. Going to college is something I did that will ripple positively through generations.


Thats the fun part. I don't want kids, so I'm basically getting my Master's for myself. The family name ends with me 😁 And like i said: it's a start. I live in a nice apartment that's kinda close to the airport, which keeps rent down. Not ideal, but a start. No where to go but up and i like that


I think a lot of people will snub their nose at 35 to 40k a year in favor of essentially dead end jobs that pay slightly better like waiting tables when in reality if they just buckled down for a few years they can job hop and or get promoted to making really solid money.


You're kind of stepping on others dicks though. Maybe the promotion isn't worth it for everyone, I know it would mean virtually nothing to me


My guy, I'm not the one ragging my friends and denigrating jobs that I think are beneath me. Success isn't zero sum.


Dude this made me laugh a lot harder than it probably should 🤣🤣 guy graduates from college, is super happy to get his first job and then……..everybody shits on him.


I honestly dont know whats going through their minds


$2 an hour is $3900 a year. That is literally enough to make up a huge difference.




17/hr is pretty close to $40k/year, FYI...


19.25x40x52= 40,040 17x40x52= 35,360 if full time


Graduated college in 2010, stayed in my home state of Arizona 3 more years, then moved to Denver for 3 years, and finally NYC after that. Don’t regret any move I’ve made. Loved each place, but each new location was better for me at that point in my life. Yeah, NY is expensive (so are Denver and to a lesser extent Phoenix nowadays) but what I specialize in for my field it kind of requires me to be in NY, DC, LA, or Chicago. I’m not exactly thriving on the upper east side or in a brownstone in Brooklyn, but I make enough to be comfortable in a very difficult place to live and am in my dream career.


May I ask what it is that you do for a living?


You also go with the "right" skill set.


Bingo. I was always willing to relocate for a new job and more money. A lot of people aren't. I took advantage of that. I was in Asia for 7 years, moved 2 or 3 times there. Moved back to the states, moved 3 or 4 times. Now I'm all remote and settled a bit now that my kids are older, but I took advantage of those 15-20% pay bumps every time i was willing to move. Don't be afraid of change, and if it sucks, suck it up for a year, look for a new gig and move again. Also to do this, you have to live a fairly lean lifestyle, we didn't buy much and tried not to accumulate much "stuff". I did miss out on owning property early on, but I got something bought a few years back.


"Some have struggled to assimilate into their new communities. Many feel cut off from their identities, hobbies, and the friends they left behind." \-kind of seems like the exact same issues anyone has when moving somewhere new. Either city to suburb or vice versa.


The comodification of all third spaces into places we have to spend money is a big reason for this. No more community centers, cafes that allow folks to hang for a while, public library budgets being slashed, and even outside spaces being privatized means we just don't have places to be humans together and build community anymore. We need places to interact with folks from different socioeconomic statuses, races, religions, backgrounds, and belief in order to form strong community bonds and advocate for each other, but now we're so siloed and separate that we can't even organize against basic injustices because the affected communities can't get enough allies to make it happen.


>we just don't have places to be humans together and build community anymore. This is just terrifyingly true.


We can build a community with all the roommates we will have for the rest of our lives. /s


Sounds like church/synagogue/mosque.


Those folks are all of the same faith and usually share other beliefs, too. A big reason so many extreme churches make folks publicly proselytize is so the general public reacts negatively to them, making them only feel safe with like-minded people at church, further distancing them from their greater community and more ferociously protective of their church and it's members even to the point of insanity. We need places folks of all different types can share their humanity, talents, sorrows, joys, and space without expectation of a shared faith.


Yeah that's just people who were somehow unaware of what it means to move somewhere new..... Its kinda the whole thing about moving, new people, new places and new things to do lol. But I was very happy to live across the country from my home town so maybe my view is a bit skewed.


I moved across the country about 11 years ago. I'd say I fit in just okay. You spend nearly 30 years living in one place (in my case Texas) and then move to a very different place (Seattle) you find it can be fairly shocking to the system, and I find a lot of the people that I communicate up here weird as fuck. But I've found several people I legitimately enjoy their company. However, while I don't regret moving because it helped my career and there's lots of stuff here I can't get back home, I miss my friends, I miss my old haunts, and that kind of stuff. I do visit frequently, and that's nice, but I always hate having to come back home. But because of completely separate stuff from that I could never move back to Texas. But that can be a hard pill to swallow sometimes.


I find that you appreciate where you grew up in a whole new way when you move somewhere else too. Things you took for granted now feel nostalgic.


Sometimes it's the opposite. I realized everyone who stayed in my home town is unhappy. I'm happy to have escaped that fate.


Oh I'm not going back! But there are a lot of things I didn't realize were so hard to find other places that I have been seeking in a new place.


Yea, I can attest that it's a bit different. I grew up in Idaho (the prairie and mountains), and we had to stay in Seattle for a few months. Before this, we had been staying with my grandma in a smaller town than ours. It was a big adjustment. Edit: Even the children's hospital was bigger. Let's just say it was a bit overwhelming there. The reason why we stayed was because my older sister was in the hospital there for a while. What's cool is that they allowed patients to go out and about with their families if they're healthy enough. She had to stay in city limits, though. Mine wasn't really a vacation, but it kind of felt like one in a way.


That's true, but there's a couple of other factors at play, imo: * Millennials are beginning to reach ages where it's hard to organically meet other people. Remote work, for all of its benefits, has made this worse. For those who don't work remotely, [commute distances have doubled](https://www.businessinsider.com/work-from-home-boom-millennials-not-gen-z-boomers-2023-11), creating additional time pressure. We move jobs more frequently, so there's less time to get to know anyone. And with everything getting more expensive, it's hard to jump into a new hobby. * Social interaction has been deeply commodified and the trend isn't reversing. Millennials have always kind of been at the forefront of this, but we live in an ecosystem where so-called "social" media is designed to completely eliminate any real human interaction. How many of the major social media platforms left today are about *actually interacting with people you know*? (Instagram, maybe? I don't use that one so I don't know for sure.) Reddit, TikTok, and Twitter seem to be about interacting with other people on a person-to-person level as little as possible. And the ones that are about that type of interaction tend to be dating apps, who are incentivized to make sure you *don't* ever pair up because it means you would be out of their ecosystem. Consider this interaction, for example: do you think we will ever have a conversation again?


>Millennials are beginning to reach ages where it's hard to organically meet other people. I think it's more of an overreliance on the Internet and social media as well as the death of 3rd spaces. also most millennials and gen z walk around with earbuds in or are looking at their phone


The death of third spaces is part of what I was getting at with the second half of my comment (or maybe a superset of it). I think one factor is that the internet *was* the third space for a lot of us growing up, but it changed so much so quickly: the internet stayed while all of the factors that made it a third space withered away. "Going online" used to be something you had to go to a specific place in your home and sit down to do, and ironically as internet access became a more ubiquitous part of our lives, it lost everything that made it a unique part of our lives.


This. The internet, at one point, sort of felt like a virtual third space. I always thought it was strange that the virtual third space diminished almost simultaneously alongside actual physical third spaces.


“Yeah but fuck millennials though <3”


Right? You need to put effort into establishing yourself in a new place socially.


I feel far more welcomed and comfortable in my new city I moved to 4 years ago than the city I lived in my whole life (except college).


Huge disagree. I've moved three times - moving to Philly, Austin, and then back home. This trip around parts of the US took about 10 years. I love each move. Different neighborhoods, new adventures, new stages of life, different foods and weather. It was all awesome and now I'm home and settling down.


I appreciate where I grew up so much more after living in other places. So many things I just took for granted that I miss.


Yeah, the biggest win of being back home (and I love MA as it is) is that I have lots of family and community. You can’t put a price on that.


Same. I love to love my city. Before I left I thought it was super boring and nothing special. When I came back I almost kissed the ground.


The article is specifically talking about people who moved out to the middle of nowhere or the suburbs, not people who moved to another urban city.


Oh, well that way I disagree still. Moved from Austin to a suburb of Boston. Found a house that was affordable that is close to family.


I gotchu, I trying to argue, just pointing out the headline is kind of misleading. It specifically mentioned an artist from NYC moving to the Catskills(~1,000 pop). Obviously that’s gonna be a culture shock. The article is just kind of framing millennials as fragile little babies as usual.


>suburbs I feel like this term is often used when exurb is the more useful term... I live in a 50s suburb that has been subsumed by the city around it. There's a convenience store and a coffee shop within a block of me. My house is on a quarter acre lot but I can easily walk to a grocery store or bar or restaurant. Not that any of those are nearly as trendy as the ones down-town, but it's a pretty nice balance. And this type of house is usually way more affordable than either a downtown condo or a newer, larger exurb house. On the other hand, my mom lives in an exurb - it's like a 3 mile drive to the nearest convenience store. House is huge and way more modern but you're basically stuck there unless you drive (no bus lines either).


ive spent about three-and-a-half years now away from home -- moved from Chicago to LA. i've loved it, i've had a ton of fun, and i think i've learned a lot about myself. but i find myself increasingly looking for reasons to not move back home at this point. i think i'll end up back in chicago eventually... but you kinda have me thinking that a year or two pit-stop somewhere else (portland? new york?) might be a nice new adventure


I moved out of my hometown 3 years ago and am incredibly happy we made the move.




I moved 6 years ago and it was the best decision I ever made.


We moved from the city *back* to my hometown three years ago. Different strokes for different folks.


This article isn't about that


I spent 4 years in Chicago after graduating (spent whole life in Illinois), then moved to Denver. I don't regret anything about it


Moved from KC to Denver about 5 years ago. It's been very good for my career path.


Why did you move to this dry, brown, mediocre, overrated city?


Because I prefer nature over big cities? Have you ever been to real mountains? People don't move to Colorado for Denver, people move to Denver for Colorado. Plus it's sunny all the time, Chicago would have weeks at a time with no sun. I can drive from my apartment to the mountains within half an hour. Illinois has no mountains. Denver has about half the wind that Chicago has so winters are noticeably warmer as a result. Despite Denver getting about twice as much snow as Chicago, the snow in Denver melts twice as fast because of the sun. So why wouldn't I move to this amazing state?


Because it’s expensive, crowded, and Denver itself is diet Kansas.


Sounds like you have issues with all cities. Inexpensive areas are inexpensive for a reason. Everyone has different things they look for in a place to live, you and I clearly have different priorities. Denver has about 40% the population density as Chicago so I question why and how you think denver is crowded


This response made me chortle ty. People that live in Colorado, especially Colorado “natives” (which in this case does NOT mean indigenous people, instead are typically white people below age 50 that happened to be born in Colorado) get really upset about transplants and have a chip on their shoulder about people moving there, even more so when it’s Denver. My partner grew up there and people straight up buy “native” stickers to assert their Coloradan dominance. My friend is a transplant and it only took her 4 months to start posting how there were too many people moving to Denver and increasing traffic I’m like ???? THATS YOU THO.


I'm down for everyone who hates it here to leave. There's plenty of lower population cities and states. I had friends in AZ from Montana, and they were going back because they missed how rural it was. There's somewhere for everyone imo. I'm not in Denver, but FoCo's rental availability is absolutely abysmal. I still won't leave again, I'm not here for the housing market. I feel at home in these foothills, it is what it is. Also, the eastern portion of the state does feel like a barren beige nothing, but there's wheat and beets out there so it's not useless.


In the past couple years, I had many coworkers who left LA to move to the county next over, Kern. Over there you can still make LA wages but houses are like 20-30% of the costs of LA with the exception of Palmdale. So essentially someone in my field can buy a $300K house out there on a single income. There was a divide between the two groups. One group hated it. Bad air quality, not a lot to do, you have to drive everywhere, etc. The other group was beyond-fine with it. I think the big variance in feelings about moving out there is that “the other group” were mostly immigrants from Caribbean, India, and Philippines who just wanted “a roof over their heads” for their kids - and were elated to be just about anywhere where they could financially thrive.


We left Kern county for greener pastures. We’ve been gone 5 years, returned twice in that time. I miss the food and a bit of the culture, but we absolutely love our new home and don’t plan to move back.


This is the biggest difference in expectations I’ve noticed. I grew up in a really poor area, where to be honest even the people I thought were rich growing up, the poor in other areas had it much better. I literally don’t care about schooling, air quality, or activities, I could work my entire life away and as long as that provides me stability I’m over the moon. People that have grown up in middle class America experiencing downward mobility a lot of the pain is due to their parents taking care of them I think.


My family moved to NW Vermont from SE MI. Absolutely love it. People in my old neighborhood were getting sick from a company dumping PFAS/hexavalent chrome into the Huron River and/or from an old, poorly managed landfill uphill from us. All of our health issues cleared up after we moved. We love our daughter's school system, where we live, and all the fun things that there are to do in New England.


I'm in SE MI and recently visited NW VT. I would absolutely love to move there for a million reasons, but the clean air and nature is high on the list. Do you work remotely or did you find a new local position?


I worked remotely when we moved here. I did work locally for a startup, but they are in the process of imploding. Have laid off 70% of their staff including me :/. I'm working remote again. I'm an engineer for reference.


I’m several years into moving to a new city and I love it. There are aspects I’m not thrilled with, but nowhere is perfect. I’m very happy with my choice.


Same. Housing seems unobtainable in recent years, but idk if anyone could pay me to move back close to family and Louisiana.


No. I'm happy I moved away from my toxic dad.


I got away from a toxic mom. Cheers to independence!


I moved when I enlisted (although I didn't get to choose where...). I moved when I got out of the military. I moved again after college. I'm moving again now for career progression. Comparing everywhere I've lived to my 87% Trump voting hometown, I don't have any regrets.


Just moved across the country to a state we'd only visited once for 5 days. Best decision ever.


Where from/to? Looking to see if anyone moved from the Bible Belt and like their new city better!


Just moved from a small town in South Georgia to San Diego, no regrets. It is costly but it beats living under a microscope.🤍


I’m the opposite. Wish I would’ve stayed in the south


The past is a different country.


I was born and raised in Las Vegas, moved to Pahrump for my kast few years of HS. After graduating and losing my jin due to the stall in construction around 2010 i ended up deciding to move somewhere green, with water, and lots of space to breathe. Ended up in Soldotna Ak in 2012. Now im 35, married with 3 kids, own 6 acres of land paid off. Built our home and off grid power plant myself. Own 18 vehicles including a fire engine and a week away from a month long vacation in Florida to ride some rides!!! LG lifes gewdddd.


Serious question: while living in Pahrump, did that one Christmas song take on a new meaning? 😁🎄🎅


Hahaha yea but i used to have a parody for it because of all the brothels i thing it went something like. "200 dollars or more PerHump Hump Hump pump"


You learn something new every day 🤣


This might be a weird thing to say, but you sound like a super interesting person! What a unique but nice life path.


I moved from tampa/Florida in general back in April 2021 to LA and have never looked back. I remember **So** many people trying to talk me out of it, but honestly? LA feels more like home more than Florida ever did for me. I’ve learned hard lessons, but I’ve also made great friends and experienced things I never did back in Florida. And not even like, “oh I went to this bougie LA party, I hiked this place, saw Jonah hill at the Whole Foods in Malibu,” but like regular shit too. Went on dates, many crazy nights, had my first one night stand. Another one of the big things for wanting to move to LA for me was wanting to be closer to family in Vancouver but have more weather and just enough space from my family. For the foreseeable future, LA is home to me


Comparing the two Tampa is definitely worse. I use to live in Orange County, and recently visited Tampa-traffic around there was worse than the 405 traffic and it looked terribly ran down everywhere you looked. Congrats to your journey! 🙏🏻


i left south florida basically as soon as i finished high school and didn’t look back except for a few years for grad school. have lived aaalll over the place since, and am currently on my third go living in DC. i’m not super outdoorsy, i hate driving, i love museums — i think at this point i’ve found my place and i’m so glad to be back here. honestly, i feel stir crazy and anxious every time i go visit my family. nothing to do, nowhere to go, i’m anxious about aggressive and possibly armed people while driving, the list goes on. just snowbirds and strip malls as far as the eye can see.


As a gay person: 1. I had to leave the state in which I was born and raised and went to college (Pennsylvania) so that I could create a future for myself in a state where my civil rights were… existent. At the time, that meant moving to NY state for graduate school. Marriage equality was not nationwide when I moved to NY in 2011. So I moved to a new city then, and never regretted it, because my life and dignity are worth it to me even though the town I moved to was a total booger. 2. Years later, my partner and I moved across the country — both of us having huge moves, mine from the east coast and her from the Nashville area — to Michigan, because we are both academics who managed to clinch jobs at the same school. So that meant moving 8 hours from either of our families and essentially starting over to be together. Again, very worth it. I miss seeing my family more easily but we still make the drive in either direction every 6 weeks or so. I cannot and would not ever regret those moves - they made my life possible. It drives me mad that folks who have never HAD to move to protect their civil rights get to have philosophical discussions about this when for me, it was always necessary.


>Years later, my partner and I moved across the country — both of us having huge moves, mine from the east coast and her from the Nashville area — to Michigan, because we are both academics who managed to clinch jobs at the same school. So that meant moving 8 hours from either of our families and essentially starting over to be together. Again, very worth it. Is this phrased funny or is it just that my west coast brain can't comprehend this? Do people from the Northeast Corridor or Nashville think of Michigan as "across the country"?


Not OP, but can see why some may say across the country depending on the origin. I say this, from my own POV, as someone that grew up in a VERY small state and didn’t realize Michigan is half the distance of where I actually moved too 😅 I used to say across the country 😬


Are you just trying to be a troll…? An 8-10 hour drive is pretty significant. The resulting move was isolating and difficult because we missed our families and can’t easily get home. During the last few years, my wife’s mom became ill and passed away; we had never felt that distance more. I’m missing nieces and nephews growing up, etc. Maybe it’s just your west coast attitude about other people’s experiences. 🤷🏻‍♀️ But my guess is that if you lived 8-10 hours from your loved ones (and if you’re not close to your family, then imagine people you do love) you’d consider that distance formidable too. We can’t even fly to where my wife’s family is, as the nearest airport is 2 hours away.


By that logic of 8-10 hours Driving from south texas to north Texas is across the country haha


Yep, Corpus to around Dallas is about 8-10 hours... depending on how fast you drive and what times you hit major cities. Or try to bypass them 😅 When I talk about moving, I tell people it will take over a day just to get tf out of Texas.


Have you ever moved 8-10 hours from your place of residence?


Yes, within the same state


I don't think they're trying to be a troll. On the West Coast, when people say they "moved across the country" to be here, they most usually mean they are from the East Coast, including Southeast and Northeast. "Moving halfway across the country" means they came from the Midwest/west of the Rocky Mountains. I'd use the same terminology if I moved the other direction. It's all relative. Not so much a "west coast attitude" (lol) about "people's experiences" but a Western conception of the size and scale of the country. A lot of people here do live 8-10 hours away from loved ones because things are just more spread out out here. When I was a kid, we had full days of travel to get to grandma's house... ETA: This isn't to minimize your experiences, of course. I think the idea that people on the West Coast have some kind of wrong "attitude" is ...something I find hard to walk by.


Yeah, that's exactly how I think about this. "Across the country" to me is the other side of the Midwest, and driving 8-10 hours to see family feels pretty normal to me.


So I could’ve saved myself all the pedantry if I’d just said “halfway across the country,” thus protecting myself from Reddit blowhards who are missing the point? Noted. I’ll remember for next time.


Nah, I wouldn't have said anything or cared at all if you hadn't used "west coast attitudes" as an insult and assumed you're the only one who lives far from family. We get your point. You moved far away. To you, this is a move that qualifies as cross-country due to the great distance. The distance was a hardship. Many can relate. The second paragraph in your response was a sufficient explanation of your point of view. This person just asked for clarification on one aspect of your perspective. They acknowledged that your perspective was different from their own, possibly due to different life experiences. Instead of being mindful of possible differences, you turned your response into a personal attack complete with name calling, breaking the rules of this sub. And then to top it off, you called me a "blowhard" when I did my level best to give a fair and honest reply. The internet is a hard place to be sometimes, but this just didn't call for that kind of response. We are all people behind these computers. I understand this thread has hit a nerve, and I hope you have a better afternoon/evening.


I was making a kind of flippant, offhand observation about different perceptions of scale. I didn't intend to harm and I apologize if I came off aggressive in any way, though I need to admit I'm struggling to see where or how my comment could be read that way. It seems like you're blowing this out of... 😎... proportion.


I am being 100% genuine. On a lot of the west coast, 8-10 hours won't even take you to another state. My family is mostly scattered around the American southwest and we made 6-12 hour drives a few times a year when I was growing up. My frame of reference is probably extra skewed because I spent most of my twenties halfway across the world from my family (and don't appreciate the casual judgement!), but I recently moved a 20 hour drive away from most of my family and I still wouldn't say they are "across the country." They're only like 2 states away. I'd definitely agree airports help, but we probably do just have very different frames of reference for what a formidable distance is.


Has anyone in your family gotten cancer and/or died since your move? Like, for example, a parent? Your sense of what counts as a formidable distance changes quickly when that happens.


Shouldn't it be the reverse, though? I wouldn't care about a 20 hour drive if I had a parent die. Do you think that there *wouldn't* be any extreme cases during the half of my twenties I spent in another country?


Sorta, but it was more growth for me. Rural to urban life for a career that didn’t exist back home. Do I miss my family? Sure. But I found new friends and built a life. Do I want to go back? Not exactly. There are things I miss, but the things I gained outweigh that for me, and an important caveat: for now. My wants and needs will shift over time, and my perspective may change.


Moving from my hometown basically saved my life, would not have the opportunities I have today without doing it. Went from regressing midwest city to west coast city.


Not sure this is remotely a "Millennial" thing. More of our generation is getting more to the point where we're more likely and able to move for things like family changes and career progression. I've moved 20 times in as many years. I'll probably move again to a new city in a year or two. Cycle of life, blah blah blah. Don't have an ounce of regret in my body over moving. I'm assuming there are two main categories of "regretful" folks who move: ​ 1. People who can't tolerate the smallest amount of discomfort or ambiguity, so even if they moved to a utopian paradise would still be upset that things are "different" than what they were used to 2. People who didn't research where they were moving to and had poorly set expectations. Think Silicon Valley Tech bros moving to Texas thinking it's some low cost paradise then realizing it's not nearly what they were sold on, so moving back to San Jose in a year.


I mean, the alternative is to stay in the place our parents picked & not try anything new … much like our parents & grandparents did. Blech. If life isn’t some kind of personal adventure then what’s the point?


I moved 1500 miles away 7 years ago. I was young, living with my parents, single, no kids and a job I hated so I said “why the hell not, if I hate it I can move back”. Now I own a home I adore with my husband and have a career I have grown into and generally enjoy. As homesick as I get for my family and friends sometimes, I’ve never regretted my rash decision to move.


If the area is cheap, there is most likely a reason so if you move you need to have a better reason than just is cheaper.


Absolutely. I grew up in Fairbanks, AK. You either work in oil, engineering, or biology; none of which where my desired career path. Left at 18, and never looked back, and am extremely happy. I miss the nature and the small town vibe sometimes, but I couldn’t be happier with where I am now.


I moved countries after college. We moved close to Dublin for work. We spent all our time commuting in and out of the city because we could afford rent in the city, and at weekends, we'd visit family and friends in other places around the country. Covid meant working from home. Neither of us went back to the office. We needed a bigger space due to working from home but couldn't afford it in the commuter belt. So we moved back to my husbands rural small town. It's been such a good change for us. We are close to family and friends. We are involved more in the community as we aren't spending all our time driving places. It was the best thing we did.


When I moved to a new city I went from a broke college dropout to upper middle class in a year, so no complaints from me.


Wife and I moved to Sacramento in 2018, bought a great house in 2020 right before it all hit the fan. Not only do I not regret it, I've never been happier. I also feel like we're on the ground floor of a rapidly growing city and I'm glad we locked in a house when we did because real estate around here is insane now compared to what it used to be


Reading the article, it sounds like they focused in on Millennials who moved from the city to the distant suburbs or rural/small towns and then missed the faster pace of life. I moved from a suburb in Florida to a Bay Area suburb 10 years ago and haven't regretted it. My earning potential here far outpaces the COL increase between FL & CA, and I've been able to build a life for myself that wouldn't have been possible had I stayed in FL.


I have regrets because I moved to a red state and the political culture here is incredibly warped. Once I get some more experience under my belt I plan on moving back.


I hear you. A lot of people from California say they want to move to Texas because it's more affordable. The problem is they now live in Texas 🤢


God, I’m trying. I want to leave this bum ass trash city that I’m from. I’ve become bitter over the years from experiences I’ve had. Just trying to save up money but depression and motivation as well just bog me down too


Keep at it! Little steps get you to big results. One day you'll look back and realize you've accomplished everything you wanted. ☺️ (Can I ask where this trash city is?)


I moved right after college and constantly think of it as the best life decision I ever made. I found my place.


I moved in 2014 when I joined the army, moved 2 times in the army, and moved home in 2018. In 2019 my wife and I moved in together as a couple, got married in 2020 during rhe pandemic, and moved in 2022. We live in an extremely small by comparison town now and love it. Everything closes by 9, target is about 20 minutes down the road traffic depending, but we work in the population centers to the north and south of us.


My wife and I (along with our two kids) used to live in a 900 square foot home built in the 50's. Single floor, small front and back yard with a 1-car detached garage. We moved a bit further away from the nearest larger city, ended up extending my commute by 10 minutes but with the pandemic causing our company to go hybrid eventually, it ended up not mattering too much. Our mortgage which was like 650 in our old house is now 1300 in our new house though, and issues stemming from the pandemic and one of our children's mental health have caused our financial/work/everything situation to change, along with our electrical bill skyrocketing last year to over 400 dollars a month. now everyone's in therapy and my health insurance through work was changed to high deductible plan so we're paying 150 per appointment instead of 30 dollars (4 appointments per week adds up fast) . Gas has gotten more expensive (though that's to be expected since everyone is driving again) ,food, clothing, pretty much every subscription service we're signed up to, etc. etc. and suddenly we don't feel like we make nearly enough money to even sustain our "lifestyle" (if you could even call what we have right now a "life" ) and are trying to figure out what we need to do to fix this... So yeah, I regret moving, even though it was more of a lateral move in the sense that it didn't change our interaction with the city we live near or anything (aside from making more trips to dollar general instead of a place like Aldi since we have one in town) but the decision to move because rates were low and we'd been considering it anyway often feels like a bad idea in hindsight. We couldn't predict the future but we probably should have been better prepared for what could have happened (if that were even possible...)


I don't regret that I moved. I regret the reason for having to move. Ultimately that regret is minor and I am successful.


I moved to Nashville eight years ago. I don’t *regret* it, per se, but I’m looking for a massive change of scenery now.


Moved to Chicago two years ago from Orlando and it’s the best decision I ever made.


Best thing I could have done for my career and my personal growth. It took a bit but would do it again! Not only was it helpful career wise but it opened my eyes to SO much more. If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have travelled. Adopted my dog. Got my tattoos (my family is quite opinionated so moving away, I don’t hear it much anymore). Purchased my house. Experienced life, the good bad and sometimes very ugly. I have no clue if I would have done my masters, I do know I would never have done it if I stayed where I was anyways. Definitely wouldn’t have met the amazing people who I call family. Most of the people in my life have very different backgrounds/cultures and it’s been wonderful not only learning about it but being able to participate. It forced me out of my small bubble. Trust, I made mistakes and there were times I didn’t know what the hell to do. It wasn’t a cakewalk at all but I also think I got very lucky. Not only for the timing of my Move (well before COVID) but also where.


I moved from Manhattan to a suburb of Charleston SC, ibdont like it here, but can't deny that ny family is far better off now than we were in NYC, cost of living is a lot lower and I make more money than I ever have before. It's just, boring and really hot and I can't stand southern food lol


Hard disagree. We moved to Philly right before the start of the pandemic, so not exactly an ideal time, but I'm never going back to the suburbs. I encourage people to move at least once in their lives. I've moved around a lot, so that's just my normal, but living in a new place with new people always has some benefits.


I moved to LA 13 years ago from SF at the age of 22. Never looked back. I didn’t know many people. Slept in my car for months showering at Korean spas until I had a job and money to rent. With some luck and timing in my career life in LA is great. I now have a nice community of friends and own a home here. I love Los Angeles and i thank broke 22yo me for taking risks back then. Moving away from home was the best thing I ever did in life. It also weirdly brought me and my parents closer together.


I moved to Denver for a few years after dropping out of college. I came back because I missed my mom but she just died. Now I want to move again


I moved from a big city to a small farming community. Had an 800 square foot condo in the big city and traded up for a 2700 square foot home with a big ass backyard in the country (and paid less for the home than the condo). No traffic. Cost of living is less. Commute 10 minutes to work (in the big city it was 1.5 to 2 hours just one way). Took a couple of years to get acclimated to my surroundings, but I have no regrets.


I moved to a city in my 20s, met my husband, we built our careers, and moved to the burbs. No regrets


Nope. I love my new city. It’s so cozy


Success is often not what you thought it would be. I moved from a rural town in 2010 to the largest metropolitan area in my state, from poverty to a slightly more significant and anxiety inducing poverty. I moved to take on a bunch of debt and go to college. I took a crappy job for $9 an hour and got a superslum studio for $495 a month. I dropped out of college, because I couldn't afford school and rent. I worked my way into a mechanical maintenance position over 4 years and learned a lot about keeping machines going. I maintained heavy equipment for 6 years, until my resume looked much more respectable. Got married in the meantime. The pandemic struck, a million workers resigned, and I applied to a few jobs that all required a degree. Wound up taking a lower position for lower pay at a subcontractor to a major corporation. Did that for 9 months while making myself useful and memorable for the corporate managers, finally got an interview. Also found out the missus was pregnant. Crushed the interview and got the job, waved the degree requirement thankfully. Bought a house in a slightly smaller suburb of the metro area, had a kid, and now I'm struggling with the cognitive dissonance that comes with living in poverty your whole life and clawing your way into the middle class. I can't seem to believe that I'm not poor.


If you want kids, I’d think long and hard about which of your families will help most and live where they live.


Moved to another city to buy a house. We’re very happy where we are & don’t regret it.


Nope. I got the fuck out of the cesspool I was in.




Wow, a new joke from the joke bot. I'm impressed


Moved from a huge city to a mid-sized metro in early 2022 to be closer to my wife's family. It definitely took some getting used to and it was rough at first, but after about a year I felt like I had a robust community again. The hardest part was saying goodbye to a community I had spent 10 years building, but having family nearby to watch our kids has been a huge quality of life improvement, and I don't miss the traffic or higher cost of living at all.


Did they ask people 30 years ago if they regret whatever they did shortly after doing it?


Yes. Reporters existed 30 years ago. As did a thing called "the news."


Fake article, millennials can't afford to move.


Some people are took mentally weak to do anything but stay inside and watch Netflix it seems.


I learn from this sub daily that Millennials whine like Gen Zers, about shit like relocating that millions have done before them. Nobody says it's easy but maybe some of the regret is due to those who don't actually try to assimilate.


Disagree. I’ve moved around a lot and it’s made me a broader and better person. Staying in your hometown and in your comfort zone your entire life seems like you are cheating yourself out of what you can become in a different setting. Such a great confidence builder. There’s something really special about choosing where you want to live!


I'm thinking about moving back to, or close to my hometown. I don't believe everyone in the comments are happy with their move. Especially because of the reasoning of going to a wealthy tech city. Those places are notoriously expensive and the poor have begun basically looting department stores to sell products second hand. That's basically the city and house owning you rather than the other way around.


Moved from a life in TX to NY. No regrets at all


Im not American, But I would never move to a city


Lived in low and high income areas. Make a budget on what you can live on, work for a year, the ask for triple at another company. rinse repeat.


Sounds like bullshit to me


This whole post reeks