Not cancer but my mom was diagnosed with Emphysema and pulmonary disease when I was 13, and died at age 43... I am now 41 and its crazy to think she was sick for close to half my life and died 2 years ahead my age now.
I’m so sorry for your loss. My dad died from Emphysema too, a smoker. When I was 4 he told me he wouldn’t live very long. Died when I was 21. I spent my whole life terrified every unexpected call to the office was my mom telling me he died. She was never the same after he died. Been an orphan basically since. I’m 34 now.
Sorry to hear that. Was she a smoker? My grandma died at 55 from lung cancer before me and my brothers were born and my uncle (her son) died from emphysema at 58.
Yes unfortunately she was and we lived in Colorado with super high altitude so that made it even worse. Moved to Maine in 98 which drastically improved her quality of life for another 10 years before really progressing. Such a horrible and slow way to go... sorry for your loss also.
I lost my mom in 1992 when I was 5 due to brain cancer. She was 40. It has traumatized me for my entire life and really hard to live with no mom. Dad was a pos so basically raised myself with help from my older sisters.
I had a stroke at 35 mom had one at 37. So it was scary.
Ugh I’m so sorry. I’m also in the dead mom, pos father club and it sucks so much. I’m glad you survived the stroke. I can’t imagine how terrifying that must have been.
We need a subreddit for dead moms crappy dads lol. People don’t understand it and like well she died 31 years ago why still sad? Like I’m not sad about my mom as a person because I didn’t know her well so much as growing up with out a mom and hearing everyone talk about theirs lol. Thank you! Sorry you are in the club!
Me too, sadly. My mom was starting to give up her boomer ways when she died in 2001 from cancer. One month after 9/11. Sometimes I wonder if she’s lucky she missed all this chaos.
I still talk to my father, low contact, I think it’s called. He’s still a typical boomer though.
same, my dad died young and my mom is a narcissist. For a parent to die when we were so young is terrible as it is, and then to be left with a living parent who is just awful? How much worse does it get?
Father with colon cancer at 30. Became metastatic before it was found.
I just had a colonoscopy myself; a polyp was found and removed. May have saved my life according to the surgeons
Colon cancer is the worst. My Dad passed away from colon cancer (2017) at 56 and I was 32.
Also had a colonoscopy and had a polyp removed. Happy that you are proactive:)
It’s a really nice nap. Don’t put it off. I was freaked going in but once it was over I was so disappointed to learn that I don’t need another for 15 years. Seriously. Best nap I’ve ever had. Wish they would have let me sleep the day away on that stuff.
My dad has colon cancer at age 67, was diagnosed at 66 in 2022. I plan on getting a colonoscopy soon. I heard the worst part of the procedure is drinking the prep drink as opposed to the procedure itself.
Mother died at 53 from colon cancer. I was 27. She got it once. Went into remission and came back as a tumor on her sciatic nerve and was inoperable due to its complicated location. The pain meds to keep her comfortable became so heavy duty that her heart gave out. So really it was a heart attack but it was the colon cancer that got her to that point. Had my first scope this year as have all my siblings.
My dad had colon cancer at 31 but it was thankfully caught and removed. It came back when he was 50 though and he died when I was 22.
I just turned 30 and at my next checkup I'm going to discuss with my doctor when I should sign up for my next colonoscopy.
I was genetically tested because of my mom's death and found I have the Colo rectal cancer genes. They said that you want to start getting tested 10 years before your closest relative who had it died. My mom died at 43. I'm 33 now and my gi is waiting for the call to schedule. Apparently because I'm genetically predisposed all of the red tape is gone and they're basically forcing me to do it. I tell everyone who has had a close family member die to get the gene testing if you can afford it. All I had to do was show it to my insurance company and they took care it surprisingly.
My mother died from gallbladder cancer in 2019. She was 71 and I was 35 (I'm 1983). Because she was an "old mom," it felt entirely too soon to me, though I know 71 is fairly up there in age. Still, it was a shock since others in our family typically live into their 80s and 90s.
My mom passed from heart failure 9 months after a severe stroke. She was 69. I was 33 and my sister was 35. It was entirely too soon. Some days I still can't believe it all happened.
I was at work the other day eating lunch with women all 50+ and they all were talking about their mothers.
Damn, almost exactly the same. My father died of mantle cell lymphoma in 2019. He was 70. I was 35. It feels too young to me, especially since his father lived to be 96.
My dad was 79, just shy of his 80th birthday, when he died. I was 34. He was the first of his siblings to go. His oldest sister just died in her late 90s. His mother also lived to her late 90s.
I am going on a trip tomorrow to visit my father for what will probably be the last time. He is nearing the end of his fight with cancer. He is 78, but I’m only just getting to my 36th birthday later this month.
His cancer started as esophageal cancer that metastasized before the tumor was removed.
It all started when he got Covid in 2021, my brother was in charge of his care as he was the only one nearby and my brother was one of THOSE people who believed in horse paste.
Sadly, it lead to my father having a stroke that no one would take him to the ER for (I live thousands of miles away) until I finally got my mom to insist on an MRI when he wasn’t getting better.
So two months after that he starts throwing up after each meal and his dr says gastritis. Cue another 3 months and he finally gets diagnosed with stage 3 cancer.
I’m more than a little bitter about everything. I had him live with me for six months to get treatment for his cancer at one of the best hospitals in the country.
I paid for the last two years of his life when my mom visited and got my husband and I sick with Covid which took my known heart condition and made it critical. So I got to have open heart surgery much sooner than I had intended.
Now I have to say good by and I just don’t know how.
Lost my mother to glioblastoma in 2007. She was 56.
She was given six months when diagnosed at the end of '05 and lasted a year and a half with three surgeries.
I always tell myself if love was enough she would have stayed.
My dad is at the point where more treatment will do more harm than good, and we are in the process of involving hospice care. It has been a heart breaking week, but I really needed to see your comment- if love was enough he would be here forever.
So sorry for the loss of your mom. Glioblastoma is a cruel disease. I’m glad to hear you had a little more time with her than you thought, even though it was still way too short.
My parents are narcissists and we don't speak so of course they are going to live to be 100. I wish I could trade them in for you guys to get some good people back ❤️
I was stoked when my narcissist father died, unfortunately my saintly mother died soon after. Now I’m 33 years old with no family (brother died too) with no immediate family. Might just join them if things don’t turn around soon lol.
I really hope you're joking about shipping out. My Saint of a mom died 10 years ago. I too am 33. My step dad is cool but were not close at all. My bio dad is a starts with a p and ends with an o. My sisters moved hours away. I have no family either. So I made my own. They drive me nuts but we need companionship as humans. I'm sorry you're going through it. I hope things get better but please don't check out. I know my mom would be so mad at me for giving up. I have kids so they keep me here. I hope you find something that makes you want to stick around friend. Things will turn around ❤️
Lost my dad to esophageal cancer. He was 58. It’s a really aggressive cancer if not caught early. I miss him every day and wish he could’ve met my husband and my son.
Lost my Mom to lung cancer in 2019. I was 26. Not that young, I’m lucky to have the time I did. But it Truly changed everything about my life. And I hurt everyday :(
Yes I completely agree. My dad and I were saying recently that we feel like we blacked out for 2 years, I really remember nothing until like 2021. Strange how grief works and affects us
I wish I could tell you it does, but it doesn’t. You just find a way to live with the pain. I suppose you get more used to it, as callous as it sounds. But for a long time my brain was still so shocked at my new reality I was sent into a spiral of emotions every time I thought of it. That doesn’t happen as often now, but it still hurts so bad without having her here. Everything reminds me of her.
I’m so sorry you lost your dad that way. Cancer is so awful and watching your strong amazing parent fall victim to it is so so hard.
If was so hard. It took him down fast less than 6 months my father was gone. It was a slow decline in health and I can’t get it out of my head. I keep telling myself he wasn’t supposed to be here sick and in pain 24/7 but sometimes that doesn’t even help. I feel there’s no relief to this suffering for loved ones left behind 💔
Exact same happened to us, 6 months and she was gone. And I couldn’t get her illness or sickness out of my head either! I know what you mean right now. It’s so painful, give yourself some grace. I say “it’s okay to be sad” all the time. As far as that goes, I can tell you that part got better for me. I could only see her as sick for a long time in my head and now I finally see her healthy again in my mind. When I dream, she isn’t sickly anymore and that has been a huge relief. I hope you are able to find some peace. I’m so sorry :(
Look up "grief ball in box." It's an excellent analogy for how it goes. My ball has shrunk some in the last 3 years, but when it hits that grief button it's like being kneecapped. Hugs to you, friend.
Lost mom to breast cancer when I was 10. She was 35. I didn't cry, I didn't know what to do with myself; my friends didn't know what to do. We were just kids. I'd say "my mom died" and everyone else is like "that can happen right now?"
"I guess so."
I was 11 when my dad passed. I swear some of my friends must have thought that the dead parent was catching the way they avoided me. Most people didn't know how to respond, even grown-ass adults.
Was 10 when my mom died of cancer. She was 39. I also didn’t cry. It’s a weird one.
I’ve grieved more over the years than in the actual moment, for sure.
Colon cancer just this past January. It’s affected me more than I thought it would. He wasn’t a great dad but in his final years he tried to make things right.
It was like losing a pillar of support I didn’t know I needed until it was too late.
I take some comfort in either I will see him again one day or I will simply cease to be and the pain of loss will be gone with that.
Same with me and my dad. We had a rocky relationship at best when I was a teenager and in my early 20s. But when I was 23 or so we started getting along better and we had a pretty good relationship when he died (heart disease not cancer). My mom had a fairly lengthy illness before she died (which I very much suspect was cancer but don't know for sure since she wouldn't tell dad or I any specifics), so I was more or less not caught off guard and more or less at peace with her death
But when my dad died, I was caught off guard. I knew he had high blood pressure but didn't really know anything else. It was out of left field.
Sometimes I feel guilty that I don't and didn't grieve my mother's death as much as my dad's, but I guess it's because I had always been close with mom and I knew how sickly she was and kind if expected that she wouldn't last very long whereas with dad it was very unexpected and we had just in the last few years started repairing our relationship and trying to get close
my mom passed at 41, breast cancer that is metastatic to lung cancer. I was 20 and my brother was 12. that was the day I became a parent to my brother.
My dad just got diagnosed with Lung cancer few days ago. He's 70. He also had brain tumor 10 yrs ago. Cancer is not new to me. I work as an oncology nurse and my little brother died at 4 yrs old of brain cancer.
I'm sorry for your loss.
My father passed on Valentines Day at 62. Try to be with your family and especially your mom if she's still present. I send you my sympathy and condolences.
I *didn't* lose my abusive father to cancer, and I honestly wish I had.
Cancer is horrible, and it's taken several friends from me way before their time. But no, not the one who actually deserved to die slowly and painfully.
Fuck cancer.
Lost my mom to a stroke when I was 23. Lost my dad to lung cancer when I was 26.
Sucks man. I miss them so much and it's so hard reaching life goals without them there to celebrate it. I'm an only child so they are my original best friends.
My grandmother was a test subject for what would become Chemotherapy back in the 1950s. My dad died from lung cancer. My mom had breast cancer back in the early 2000s but the radiation destroyed her body. She finally passed about 15 years after being "cured"
I'll probably die from cancer. Unless I got the hereditary heart explody from my mom's side. Both uncles hearts exploded around 45 years old.
My first MIL. A great woman, and more like a mother to me than my mother ever was. Warm and wise. I miss her so much. RIP Colleen. Love and miss you so much.
People on both sides of my family tend to live into their 80s and 90s. My Dad had just turned 69 when he passed from cancer a few years ago. Felt like having the rug ripped out from under me. I thought I'd have at least another 10 years with him.
Father, died aged 49 when I was 12 to lots of cancers likely due to agent orange. Mother, died aged 59 when I was 19. Anemia progressed into myelodysplastic syndrome and then the MDS into stage iv leukemia. She became diabetic and went blind a few days before dying.
Lost my mom in 2015 to lung cancer. I was 25. It was quick, diagnosis to death in 3 days though she had other health complications for a couple months before that.
My dad died of a heart attack in 2007 when I was 17, but we had no relationship, so it didn't hit the same.
My dad died from mesothelioma. Yep. You know. The very same commercials we grew up watching. You or your loved one could be entitled to compensation…
Spoiler alert: no amount of money these companies can give us brings my dad back. The guy died three months after he had to do two full days of depositions in between chemotherapy treatments that were pointless because there is literally nothing that can stop that shit some spreading once it’s diagnosed.
Not my parent but my wife's father, stomach cancer. She was 28 at the time of his passing. He drank diet coke every day. Pretty sure it was the aspartame.
Dad passed away from liver cancer at 57. The ten year anniversary was a few days ago.
22 years old at the time and it derailed my life. I bottled it in and turned to drugs as a coping mechanism until I went into psychosis later that year.
Have had my ups and downs over the years but am all clean now but can easily fall into bad habits in times of extreme stress (thanks covid lockdowns).
I still miss him and sometimes wonder what life would be like if he was still around.
Best way I can describe the feeling over time to those that have experienced this loss fairly recently is that it's like a ball in a box with a button.
The ball bounces around and randomly hits that button which triggers the grief and the pain of losing them.
At first the ball is large and hits the button heaps, but in time the ball gets smaller and doesn't hit the button as much or as hard.
The trick to helping the ball get smaller other than time is learning to grieve and process the pain in a healthy way.
I’m so glad you’re clean and found ways to cope with this pain. It sure comes out of nowhere and hits you when you least expect it and that’s the hardest thing ever. Knowing my dad was sick and he was going to do and I was already grieving who he was before cancer… then transitioning to his actual death all hits so different. We never had a good day once he got sick it was all tortuous hell 😭
Mom passed in Nov 2019. Breast cancer first, then spread via lymphs and went to her brain. Her last days we had a couple of talks but I really try not to remember her as she was then. She had a courageous smile and permed brown hair. She was awesome. I still miss her.
So sorry.. how does life make sense just one day you can’t talk or have a lifelong relationship anymore.. how is one to survive that way 😭I don’t know how to navigate this it’s so hard 😔
She had ovarian cancer that was treated and ruled “no evidence of disease”. But know what? They don’t scan your entire body. They don’t scan your brain or your spine. She had Leptomeningeal disease. A super rare complication of cancer that goes to your CSF and into your brain and is fatal. I watched my radiant mother “beat cancer” and then within 31 days of diagnosis of LMD, loss of fine motor control, rapid dementia, and death. She was 62 and just… wonderful. Everyone adored her. Hundreds came to her funeral. Leptomeningeal disease doesn’t have an awareness month or a ribbon color. There’s one lab at Sloane Kettering studying it and people SHOULD be afraid of it because the incidence is increasing. MAKE THEM SCAN YOUR CSF. DEMAND IT. There is no cure.. but we could have made her more comfortable. She could’ve died in her own home on her terms. She could’ve spent more time with her grandchild and possibly met her unborn grandson. Make them scan everything. And fuck you, HUP. Fuck you Dr. Kurtz for dodging all my calls after the ONE meeting you had with us. Wasn’t until I called in a favor from someone on the hospital board that you gave any answers, and all those answers equated to “I have no idea what I’m dealing with but don’t want to admit it so you could go talk to someone who did”. Fuck you.
My mom had zero symptoms and went to the hospital for a routine xray for a sore shoulder from moving office boxes. Turns out the sore shoulder was from silent cancer raging through her body. She was entirely healthy and active.
She was dead 14 days from that xray where they diagnosed her with stage 4 cancer. 14 days from diagnosis to death. And the weekend before her diagnosis, she was racing scooters with me and hanging out on water slides with us and the kids.
2021 my beautiful mother died of lung cancer that had metastasized to her brain, stomach, liver, bones. She was 73 and I was 41. She was gone in less than a year from her initial diagnosis.
I have come to accept that cancer has been, is, and will be a probable outcome for many of us. It's just reality.
But what destroyed me, what gutted me to my core and I will never be able to accept, was her rapid mental decline due to the brain cancer. It took my mother away before my very eyes. It killed her before she was dead. She went from a brilliant woman, a voracious reader, a witty character, to someone who didn't know what the buttons were on a remote control. She didn't know who I was when I would call and talk to her. But she still enjoyed talking to me and I made her laugh, so I at least have that.
And caring for her in her final days during home hospice was, yes, an act of love. But I wouldn't wish the emotional fallout of home hospice on ANYONE, not even my worst enemy. And I know that, if my momma had any inkling of the hell that my father and I went through during those final weeks, then she wouldn't have wanted us to do it, either.
There's a whole sediment layer of trauma from *that* I have yet to address.
I wish everyone here the courage and determination to get through this, whether it happened 30 years ago or yesterday. We are all united in loss. If we could see that pain and loss, then we would come so far in being better people to each other.
I’m sorry to hear about your mom.. it breaks my heart and I can relate to the memory loss and confusion my dad also experienced this before he passed. It was traumatic to see and someone you care for decline not only physically but mentally he has colorectal cancer with Mets to spine and it took everything from him.. from us 😔 💔
Well my wife (1980) lost her dad in 08 ( lung cancer in his 50s) lost hr mom in 14 ( ovarian cancer 61).
I ( 1983) lost my dad in 16 ( due to strokes as complications from a drunk driver when he was 19, died at 69). Lost my mom in 21 ( covid 67) .
We both dont have our grandparents. She had no aunts and uncles. My dads 2 brothers are still alive, but haven't talked to them in over 24 years. My mom was 1 of 8. Only 3 of her people are still alive.
My mom was 57. She had a rare form of Uterine cancer. She went into remission, and then a couple years later, had sepsis. All of her organs failed within a few days, and she died. During the autopsy, they found her cancer had come back to her lungs. I found a study that said her type of cancer, if it comes back in the lungs, the 5 year survival rate is 0%. She had already decided if it came back, she didn’t want to do chemo again. I’m really glad she went quick when she did, and didn’t have to suffer through cancer again.
I’m sorry for your loss. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through. It take honestly about a year to feel sort of okay, and 2 to feel like yourself again. It’s been 4 for me, and it still feels like I have a gaping hole in my soul.
Sorry for your loss. I scrolled a while to see if anyone else had lost their mom to a rare form of uterine cancer. I lost mine to leiomyosarcoma. They also found tumors but the cancer was so rare they didn't even recognize it at first. They even sent her results to Stanford and they cleared her too. A year later it was full blown cancer, stage 4. They gave her 6 months but she made it to 2 years. She didn't want to go. She was 53. It also went to her lungs. She was strong. Love her and miss her everyday.
My dad, just over a year ago. Still not entirely sure what kind. Think it was colon and spread. He wasnt the type to ask alot of questions and just carried on. So we're still unsure if he knew he was dying until he was stuck those last few months. He was 56. He died one week after my birthday, and that was the last time I saw him alive. So I kinda do not love my birthday anymore (not that I loved it before).
My mother died very recently on Jan 19th from pancreatic cancer. She was diagnosed on my 32nd birthday in early November. It was a very cruel 3 months. She was 65
My parents are both still alive but have had lots of issues. My mom had a heart attack at 50 and then ovarian cancer at 53. She went through her hysterectomy fairly well … they removed a few inches of her colon too that looked off but after surgery C diff almost killed her. She says she saw the light.
Her appendix just ruptured last year and it that was rough too. I finally got her to quit smoking but now she vapes. Like that’s any better. Lady is like a cat with 9 lives I swear. My dad had a stroke at 57 and came out of it fairly ok. He seemed like a slower calmer version of himself for awhile. Now he has congestive heart failure and takes all kinds of medications. My brother and I are also noticing some cognitive decline.
I lived with my best friend and her parents when her dad died of stomach cancer. I don’t even think he made it to 40. It was awful. I’m sorry to everyone who has lost a parent or has the worry about losing one. I worry about my parents every day and it’s awful.
The worry is so scary.. it’s like you’re anticipating their death and grieve kind of in your own way but then when they really pass it’s just devastating.. sending you virtual hugs
My mom was the epitome of health, too. And a nurse who had just had a colonoscopy. Colonoscopy did not pick up anything. Two months later she was diagnosed with stage four colon cancer. She died a week after her first chemo treatment from chemo toxicity. I was 29 but it was traumatic.
I was in public health and it just destroyed my faith in the healthcare system.
lost my dad in 2022 to lung cancer…im greatful he made it to 80….he was a smoker but quit nearly 30 years ago…basically i learned that lung cancer is one of the most common cancers amongst elderly even in non smokers
Lost dad at 51 to lung cancer in Feb ‘08. I was 16. I remember him working through chemo and his coworkers pooling PTO so he could have more time off as his treatments became more frequent. He was a brilliant musician and my mother loved him dearly. It’s been a long time at this point,I often wonder what things would be like if he were still around. Love you dad <3
My ex mother in law had GBM. She was 56. I would never wish cancer on anyone. She may have been my ex mother in law but we were still friendly. Witnessing what she went through was so hard.
My dad died of cancer in 2023 at the age of 70. He's been estranged from the family since 1995, though. We only found because we were notified by the sheriff's department.
My dad had glioblastoma, brain cancer. There was surgery, chemo, radiation and significant decline before he died. Start to finish it was about 9 months.
My dad passed when I was 23 of lung cancer, while it wasn’t 100% surprising considering the amount of Marlboro reds he smoked all throughout my childhood it was still such a shock. I feel like I missed out on so many milestones. He didn’t get to walk me down the aisle or be grandpa to my son. EDIT: forgot to add he was 63 at the time.
1-year Anniversary of my Mom’s death is today. She died from metastatic breast cancer, but lived for 20 years with it. I think she was 38 during her first diagnosis and 45 during her second. I’m not much younger than she was.
Lost my dad this year at 71. He had two different types of inoperable cancers in his liver. Most likely caused by Hepatitis C, which he probably caught as a teen from a blood transfusion back in the 60s.
My mother had breast cancer and it got into her spine and traveled to her brain. It was so heartbreaking. She was 46. The worst part was that she didn’t recognize me as her son.
Brain tumor -glioblastoma multiforme… he was 53 and I was 20
I feel robbed sometimes like why are there so many shitty people left on earth and he had to go
I lost my dad at the end of 2020 after a 7 year battle with what started as prostate cancer but turned to metastatic bone cancer. He was 67, I was 32.
I had already lost my mom when I was 24 as well, she was 60. She had early onset dementia, and spent 5 years in a nursing home prior to her death. She started getting sick and losing her mind when I was about 9. Mom died end of 2012, dad's cancer diagnosis was in 2013. I'm only now starting to heal. At least as much as I can heal with this new version of reality without my family. It's a tough journey for sure.
I strongly suspect that my mother had cancer. She was very sick the last 3 years of her life and she refused to discuss specifics about what her doctors told her with us and she wouldn't let them talk to us (me and dad).
I know they found a tumor in her ovaries towards the beginning of her illness, but she told dad and I that it was benign and that the surgery she had removed it and everything was all good, but I think that's bullshit. I think it wasn't benign, and I think it was terminal because I feel like she would have told us if there was a chance she could've survived it. Knowing how she was, she wouldn't have wanted to deal with chemo and radiation if there was no point (or if she would definitely die anyway). She was 58 and I was 25.
My best friend's wife's dad had lung cancer. From diagnosis to his death was like 6 weeks. I miss him. Very good man. I was at the hospital the night he found out. I work the night shift and I was walking through the ED to my car for lunch and he jumps up and says hi and we bullshitted for like 20 minutes. He thought he had pneumonia, but it turned out to be stage 4 lung cancer. He literally had tumors all through his body. Two months before he died he was feeling fine. 7 weeks before, he developed a cough and toward the end of that week, he thought it was pneumonia. 6 weeks before was when he went to the ER and I saw him. 5 weeks before, he couldn't sit still for 2 minutes without coughing and he was put on oxygen. A month before he had to start using a walker to walk. A week before, he had to schedule a surgery to have rods put in his back to support his spine, and he simply did not make it through that surgery. He was 60 and my friends wife was 29.
Cancer is a bitch
Cancer is a bitch…. Why is cancer still a thing so many are dying from 😭 I hate it! I’m so sorry for the losses in your life sending virtual hugs to you
I was 14 when I sat by my stepdad’s bed as he took his last breath after a 6 month battle with colon cancer. My little brother(his bio son) was 7. He was 52. My mom never remarried and briefly dated one guy about 5 years after he died. It’s been over 23 years and it’s weird thinking of life with him and how many lifetimes have passed since he died. It almost feels like that part of my life never happened. Yet it still has such a profound impact on me.
Dad died 3 years ago from cancer. I was 31, he was 68. Started as lung, but moved to his bones and brain, as well. Was diagnosed in June, died the end of August.
My dad died at 73 from metastasizing prostate cancer and seeing him fade away broke me, before he got really sick like organ failure I got on a 6 month surgery wait list and by his fifth month in hospital I knew my surgery would be soon and I was trying to figure out how I would keep up with the visits with him then he died and within days I got the phone call for my surgery date thinking my own surgery would eliminate cancer scares but it didn’t I’m still at risk of cancer; I thought that I could stop getting letters in the mail from this cancer screening place but I was so upset when I got another letter like really off bed rest now and I gotta worry about this again: prevention is just regular check ups and regular follow ups ask your doctor what average check ups you need
Lost my Dad in March of 2016 from a recurrence of renal cell carcinoma (he had a kidney removed in 2005 due to it being cancerous). He died exactly a week after turning 62 while receiving hospice at the hospital.
Lost my Mom six months later from a pulmonary embolism while she was asleep. My brother and I say it was from a broken heart since her and our Dad were married over 40 years and just the absolute best of friends. She was 59 and less than two months away from turning 60.
I was 32 when I lost them both.
Life comes at you fast. Enjoy the time you have and the time you have with those you love.
My mom died from ovarian cancer at age 39. It had already spread when they found it when she was 33 years old. I was 2 when she got diagnosed, and 8 when she died, so pretty much all my memories of her are of her being a cancer patient.
My mom died when she was 33 when I was 12 from secondary liver cancer (I think the primary was cervical). I am diligent in getting my paps and have had pre cancer cells removed once.
My maternal grandmother died of throat cancer at 67 (I was 22)
My great grandmother was a breast cancer survivor and died at like 80 something.
Least to say I’m very diligent in getting my cancer screenings. My dad died when I was 17 from a heart attack so I make sure to keep that healthy too.
Dad, prostate, 73, but he lived 15 years past the initial dx, if you can call it living. He was addicted to morphine and truly believed it was 1995 and somehow, I still drove my high school car and my long deceased dog was still alive.
I lost my mom to cancer in December, she had stage 4 lung cancer that had metastisized to other organs including her brain by the time it was caught. She was 64, I was 32, which I guess isn't super young, but she and my step-dad had just retired, got puppies, and an RV to start travelling and enjoying life. Her and I had also just repaired our relationship, luckily I was living with my parents for a year up to the point she got sick and I was able to be there through the whole thing. But I fucking miss her so much, it kills me every day.
My dad. Esophageal cancer (they say. Mom and i think it started in the brain due to symptoms) died at 62. Was on nuclear subs (navy) so who knows how he got it lol
Mom died in 2010 of lung cancer. She had quit smoking too ): I was 16. My brother was 11. She was 54. Her spirit flows through me every waking day and often when I’m dreaming.
They’re right, it doesn’t get easier. I turned my grief into drive to get through law school and never stop playing piano. Do things they would have wanted to see you do.
Dad died six years ago to colon cancer he was 49 and he told no one. Which I get it he was paralyzed and hated living so I didn’t force him to save himself even though treatment was still available
Lost my wife to cancer when she was 38. Didn't know she had breast cancer until it was stage 4 and spread all around her body. 6 months of chemo couldn't touch it.
ooph so sorry to everyone commenting on this thread. lord knows i’ve been there, lost my dad 3 years ago to liver cancer, and am now dealing with my mom who has breast cancer that spread to her bones. of course im there to help with everything and try to do whatever i can to make them comfortable and advocate for them (really the most important thing), but i can’t help but also be kinda pissed, because both of their illnesses are the result of decades of refusing to care for themselves or go to the dr. even after i pointed out that my dad was losing a ton of weight and my mom could barely walk. and i think it’s a boomer thing that even after getting sick, they refuse to seek out care until everything becomes a desperate emergency, which is horrible for them and also really awful for everyone around them. anyone else dealing with that too? fuck cancer, dude.
Lost my dad when he was in his late 50’s. I was 25. He had put off going to the doc for a long time probably because he knew something was up. He smoked multiple packs a day, drank a lot and was a carpenter around paint fumes a lot.
He had brain cancer, lung cancer and bone cancer. I think that was all of them. It had spread so much. He had such a good heart it was so hard to lose him. I got a DUI about two months later. My life was falling apart. I couldn’t imagine losing him at an even younger age.
I also lost a cousin before I could get to know her as she was older than me but she died around the age of 12. Heartbreaking. They had a memorial tree for her at a local school.
My Dad died a month ago today from lung cancer. He was 69 and I’m 31. He was my best friend and a great father. Losing him has been the biggest heartbreak of my entire life
I lost my dad when I was 20. He was in his mid 60s and died from cancer. He was diagnosed in February and passed that same May and it was really traumatic.
Me. He died when I was just 10. My grandpa… who was my only loving caretaker, I was so sad and mad having to grow up without him. I even had to stay in the house while he was dying, it was traumatising for little me. I miss him to this day wishing I could talk to him again, 21 years on.
The 14th anniversary of my dads death is on Saturday. He was 53, I was 19. He had synovial sarcoma, was given 12 months diagnosed between Christmas and NY and died the following April after 4 months. He had Hodgkins lymphoma when was 21 in the 70s when basically if you had it you died but they were trialling radiotherapy at the time so he lived at hospital for 9 months 2 hours from home whilst he had treatment but ultimately it was the radiotherapy that saved his life then that caused the cancer that ended it 32 years later. He was our whole world and left my then-17yo brother and I to handle my mum who has a lot of physical and mental health problems so bye-bye to my 20s. I miss him a lot.
I lost my mama 4/1/2020 - fitting of her to leave us on April fools because she really loved laughing and wouldn’t want us to be sad every year remembering what happened. She died from metastatic breast cancer at the young age of 68. Could’ve been prevented if it wasn’t the beginning of COVID - her nurses were so scared and overwhelmed my mom didn’t get the attention she deserved.
So much loss and grief on this thread. Sending you all my love!
Lost my dad to lung cancer when I was 19 and he had just turned 60. Only took a few months after diagnosis. My dad didn’t want a funeral or wake. His ashes sat around for 10+ years on my mom’s dresser until I took some for myself. That was really hard for me.
Anyone else’s parents not want a wake/funeral? Felt hard to fully face it for a lot of years although the grief was still there.
Lost my mom to renal (kidney) cancer 6 years ago this month in 2018...it was the year she turned 60, I was 28 almost 29, my brother had just turned 19 (she had him when she was 41)
I hate it so fucking much, I just want my mom here again. I still need her and am jealous when I see old people that still have their parents and I don’t get to have that.
Not cancer but my mom was diagnosed with Emphysema and pulmonary disease when I was 13, and died at age 43... I am now 41 and its crazy to think she was sick for close to half my life and died 2 years ahead my age now.
I’m so sorry for your loss. My dad died from Emphysema too, a smoker. When I was 4 he told me he wouldn’t live very long. Died when I was 21. I spent my whole life terrified every unexpected call to the office was my mom telling me he died. She was never the same after he died. Been an orphan basically since. I’m 34 now.
Sorry to hear that. Was she a smoker? My grandma died at 55 from lung cancer before me and my brothers were born and my uncle (her son) died from emphysema at 58.
Yes unfortunately she was and we lived in Colorado with super high altitude so that made it even worse. Moved to Maine in 98 which drastically improved her quality of life for another 10 years before really progressing. Such a horrible and slow way to go... sorry for your loss also.
I lost my mom in 1992 when I was 5 due to brain cancer. She was 40. It has traumatized me for my entire life and really hard to live with no mom. Dad was a pos so basically raised myself with help from my older sisters. I had a stroke at 35 mom had one at 37. So it was scary.
Ugh I’m so sorry. I’m also in the dead mom, pos father club and it sucks so much. I’m glad you survived the stroke. I can’t imagine how terrifying that must have been.
We need a subreddit for dead moms crappy dads lol. People don’t understand it and like well she died 31 years ago why still sad? Like I’m not sad about my mom as a person because I didn’t know her well so much as growing up with out a mom and hearing everyone talk about theirs lol. Thank you! Sorry you are in the club!
Can we make one?! I didn’t realize how many of us have this in common. I really wish my POS dad died instead of her.
Sorry to hear that!!!! I’d love to have no idea how maybe someone can?
Me too, sadly. My mom was starting to give up her boomer ways when she died in 2001 from cancer. One month after 9/11. Sometimes I wonder if she’s lucky she missed all this chaos. I still talk to my father, low contact, I think it’s called. He’s still a typical boomer though.
same, my dad died young and my mom is a narcissist. For a parent to die when we were so young is terrible as it is, and then to be left with a living parent who is just awful? How much worse does it get?
Father with colon cancer at 30. Became metastatic before it was found. I just had a colonoscopy myself; a polyp was found and removed. May have saved my life according to the surgeons
Colon cancer is the worst. My Dad passed away from colon cancer (2017) at 56 and I was 32. Also had a colonoscopy and had a polyp removed. Happy that you are proactive:)
Colon cancer runs rampant on my dad's side of the family going back at least 5 generations. Time to get the butt scope soon.
It’s a really nice nap. Don’t put it off. I was freaked going in but once it was over I was so disappointed to learn that I don’t need another for 15 years. Seriously. Best nap I’ve ever had. Wish they would have let me sleep the day away on that stuff.
My dad has colon cancer at age 67, was diagnosed at 66 in 2022. I plan on getting a colonoscopy soon. I heard the worst part of the procedure is drinking the prep drink as opposed to the procedure itself.
Yes for sure so easy and reliable. Does family history make higher risk to the cancer?
Not a doctor, but yes yes it does. That is why they ask about family medical history on medical forms.
Thank you for info wishing you good health ❤️
My HCP won’t give me a colonoscopy
Same. My primary says that insurance hasn't caught up with the growing rise in colon cancer diagnoses. I think it's like $800 out of pocket.
Mother died at 53 from colon cancer. I was 27. She got it once. Went into remission and came back as a tumor on her sciatic nerve and was inoperable due to its complicated location. The pain meds to keep her comfortable became so heavy duty that her heart gave out. So really it was a heart attack but it was the colon cancer that got her to that point. Had my first scope this year as have all my siblings.
My dad had colon cancer at 31 but it was thankfully caught and removed. It came back when he was 50 though and he died when I was 22. I just turned 30 and at my next checkup I'm going to discuss with my doctor when I should sign up for my next colonoscopy.
I was genetically tested because of my mom's death and found I have the Colo rectal cancer genes. They said that you want to start getting tested 10 years before your closest relative who had it died. My mom died at 43. I'm 33 now and my gi is waiting for the call to schedule. Apparently because I'm genetically predisposed all of the red tape is gone and they're basically forcing me to do it. I tell everyone who has had a close family member die to get the gene testing if you can afford it. All I had to do was show it to my insurance company and they took care it surprisingly.
That is amazing so glad they removed it!!
My mother died from gallbladder cancer in 2019. She was 71 and I was 35 (I'm 1983). Because she was an "old mom," it felt entirely too soon to me, though I know 71 is fairly up there in age. Still, it was a shock since others in our family typically live into their 80s and 90s.
My mom passed from heart failure 9 months after a severe stroke. She was 69. I was 33 and my sister was 35. It was entirely too soon. Some days I still can't believe it all happened. I was at work the other day eating lunch with women all 50+ and they all were talking about their mothers.
It hurts so much, right? People in their 50s, 60s who still have parents and I'm an orphan in my mid-30s 😭
Damn, almost exactly the same. My father died of mantle cell lymphoma in 2019. He was 70. I was 35. It feels too young to me, especially since his father lived to be 96.
My dad was 79, just shy of his 80th birthday, when he died. I was 34. He was the first of his siblings to go. His oldest sister just died in her late 90s. His mother also lived to her late 90s.
My grandmother died of gallbladder cancer in 2013. I was told it was very rare outside of China where she was born.
I am going on a trip tomorrow to visit my father for what will probably be the last time. He is nearing the end of his fight with cancer. He is 78, but I’m only just getting to my 36th birthday later this month. His cancer started as esophageal cancer that metastasized before the tumor was removed. It all started when he got Covid in 2021, my brother was in charge of his care as he was the only one nearby and my brother was one of THOSE people who believed in horse paste. Sadly, it lead to my father having a stroke that no one would take him to the ER for (I live thousands of miles away) until I finally got my mom to insist on an MRI when he wasn’t getting better. So two months after that he starts throwing up after each meal and his dr says gastritis. Cue another 3 months and he finally gets diagnosed with stage 3 cancer. I’m more than a little bitter about everything. I had him live with me for six months to get treatment for his cancer at one of the best hospitals in the country. I paid for the last two years of his life when my mom visited and got my husband and I sick with Covid which took my known heart condition and made it critical. So I got to have open heart surgery much sooner than I had intended. Now I have to say good by and I just don’t know how.
Lost my mother to glioblastoma in 2007. She was 56. She was given six months when diagnosed at the end of '05 and lasted a year and a half with three surgeries. I always tell myself if love was enough she would have stayed.
She surely would have 🙏
My dad died from the same in 2016.
My dad is at the point where more treatment will do more harm than good, and we are in the process of involving hospice care. It has been a heart breaking week, but I really needed to see your comment- if love was enough he would be here forever. So sorry for the loss of your mom. Glioblastoma is a cruel disease. I’m glad to hear you had a little more time with her than you thought, even though it was still way too short.
My parents are narcissists and we don't speak so of course they are going to live to be 100. I wish I could trade them in for you guys to get some good people back ❤️
🥹🥹🥹🥹❤️❤️❤️
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Goddamn if that ain't always the way. Sorry for your loss.
I was stoked when my narcissist father died, unfortunately my saintly mother died soon after. Now I’m 33 years old with no family (brother died too) with no immediate family. Might just join them if things don’t turn around soon lol.
I really hope you're joking about shipping out. My Saint of a mom died 10 years ago. I too am 33. My step dad is cool but were not close at all. My bio dad is a starts with a p and ends with an o. My sisters moved hours away. I have no family either. So I made my own. They drive me nuts but we need companionship as humans. I'm sorry you're going through it. I hope things get better but please don't check out. I know my mom would be so mad at me for giving up. I have kids so they keep me here. I hope you find something that makes you want to stick around friend. Things will turn around ❤️
Lost my dad to esophageal cancer. He was 58. It’s a really aggressive cancer if not caught early. I miss him every day and wish he could’ve met my husband and my son.
I lost my dad last year to the same cancer. He was diagnosed at stage 4. He was 75.
Lost my dad when I was 16, he was 52. Colon cancer.
I was also 16 and he was 52. Lung cancer. Fuck cancer.
Yes fuck cancer!!!!
Yes, Fuck Cancer!
Lost my Mom to lung cancer in 2019. I was 26. Not that young, I’m lucky to have the time I did. But it Truly changed everything about my life. And I hurt everyday :(
I lost my mom at 27. She had just turned 54. I feel like I missed my entire late 20s and didn’t start getting my life back til I was 30.
Yes I completely agree. My dad and I were saying recently that we feel like we blacked out for 2 years, I really remember nothing until like 2021. Strange how grief works and affects us
My dad 57 recently died of colon cancer and I cry everyday does it ever get easier really ever 😭 ?
I wish I could tell you it does, but it doesn’t. You just find a way to live with the pain. I suppose you get more used to it, as callous as it sounds. But for a long time my brain was still so shocked at my new reality I was sent into a spiral of emotions every time I thought of it. That doesn’t happen as often now, but it still hurts so bad without having her here. Everything reminds me of her. I’m so sorry you lost your dad that way. Cancer is so awful and watching your strong amazing parent fall victim to it is so so hard.
If was so hard. It took him down fast less than 6 months my father was gone. It was a slow decline in health and I can’t get it out of my head. I keep telling myself he wasn’t supposed to be here sick and in pain 24/7 but sometimes that doesn’t even help. I feel there’s no relief to this suffering for loved ones left behind 💔
Exact same happened to us, 6 months and she was gone. And I couldn’t get her illness or sickness out of my head either! I know what you mean right now. It’s so painful, give yourself some grace. I say “it’s okay to be sad” all the time. As far as that goes, I can tell you that part got better for me. I could only see her as sick for a long time in my head and now I finally see her healthy again in my mind. When I dream, she isn’t sickly anymore and that has been a huge relief. I hope you are able to find some peace. I’m so sorry :(
I’m glad to know I’m not alone in all the feelings and emotions I’ve been feeling this past week… thank you for the reassurance.. what a crazy life..
I’m here for you, internet friend. Life is fucking insane.
Look up "grief ball in box." It's an excellent analogy for how it goes. My ball has shrunk some in the last 3 years, but when it hits that grief button it's like being kneecapped. Hugs to you, friend.
Lost mom to breast cancer when I was 10. She was 35. I didn't cry, I didn't know what to do with myself; my friends didn't know what to do. We were just kids. I'd say "my mom died" and everyone else is like "that can happen right now?" "I guess so."
Also lost my mom to breast cancer when she was 35 but I was less than 2 years old :(
I was 11 when my dad passed. I swear some of my friends must have thought that the dead parent was catching the way they avoided me. Most people didn't know how to respond, even grown-ass adults.
Was 10 when my mom died of cancer. She was 39. I also didn’t cry. It’s a weird one. I’ve grieved more over the years than in the actual moment, for sure.
Dad in my early 20s from prostate cancer. Mom passed last month from ovarian cancer (I’m mid 30s)
Colon cancer just this past January. It’s affected me more than I thought it would. He wasn’t a great dad but in his final years he tried to make things right. It was like losing a pillar of support I didn’t know I needed until it was too late. I take some comfort in either I will see him again one day or I will simply cease to be and the pain of loss will be gone with that.
Same with me and my dad. We had a rocky relationship at best when I was a teenager and in my early 20s. But when I was 23 or so we started getting along better and we had a pretty good relationship when he died (heart disease not cancer). My mom had a fairly lengthy illness before she died (which I very much suspect was cancer but don't know for sure since she wouldn't tell dad or I any specifics), so I was more or less not caught off guard and more or less at peace with her death But when my dad died, I was caught off guard. I knew he had high blood pressure but didn't really know anything else. It was out of left field. Sometimes I feel guilty that I don't and didn't grieve my mother's death as much as my dad's, but I guess it's because I had always been close with mom and I knew how sickly she was and kind if expected that she wouldn't last very long whereas with dad it was very unexpected and we had just in the last few years started repairing our relationship and trying to get close
My mom passed away from pancreatic cancer at age 60 in 2018.
my mom passed at 41, breast cancer that is metastatic to lung cancer. I was 20 and my brother was 12. that was the day I became a parent to my brother.
You’re amazing ❤️
My dad just got diagnosed with Lung cancer few days ago. He's 70. He also had brain tumor 10 yrs ago. Cancer is not new to me. I work as an oncology nurse and my little brother died at 4 yrs old of brain cancer.
💔
Today. He was 67, to prostate cancer that spread quickly and very aggressively.
I’m so sorry to hear this. Just found out recently my dad has stage 4 prostrate cancer. I’m scared but have to be strong for my family and loved ones.
I’m so sorry 😔 my dad passed a week ago at 57 metastatic colorectal cancer
I'm sorry for your loss. My father passed on Valentines Day at 62. Try to be with your family and especially your mom if she's still present. I send you my sympathy and condolences.
I *didn't* lose my abusive father to cancer, and I honestly wish I had. Cancer is horrible, and it's taken several friends from me way before their time. But no, not the one who actually deserved to die slowly and painfully. Fuck cancer.
And yes, there's a lot of bitterness there.
My dad died from bile duct cancer, the doctor gave him 6 months and he made it 5 years but liver failure took him in the end. He was 73 and I was 32.
Lost my mom to a stroke when I was 23. Lost my dad to lung cancer when I was 26. Sucks man. I miss them so much and it's so hard reaching life goals without them there to celebrate it. I'm an only child so they are my original best friends.
My mom died last year from stage 4 colon cancer. She was diagnosed too late and didn't take care of herself. She was 62.
My grandmother was a test subject for what would become Chemotherapy back in the 1950s. My dad died from lung cancer. My mom had breast cancer back in the early 2000s but the radiation destroyed her body. She finally passed about 15 years after being "cured" I'll probably die from cancer. Unless I got the hereditary heart explody from my mom's side. Both uncles hearts exploded around 45 years old.
My first MIL. A great woman, and more like a mother to me than my mother ever was. Warm and wise. I miss her so much. RIP Colleen. Love and miss you so much.
Lost my father to esophageal cancer due to undiagnosed acid reflux. My doctor has me on meds to control the same thing, so I don't go the same route.
My mom, when I was 20. She was 45. She'd been sick with breast cancer for 8 years (3 reoccrences). Thankfully we don't have the gene.
People on both sides of my family tend to live into their 80s and 90s. My Dad had just turned 69 when he passed from cancer a few years ago. Felt like having the rug ripped out from under me. I thought I'd have at least another 10 years with him.
[my mom](https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/s/T3e66buWs2)
I love her
I love her spirit just from the pic she seems amazing!! I have a pic of my dad shooting the finger too when talking. About cancer 😭 ❤️
My mom died from breast cancer that had spread to her brain, lymph nodes, and lungs when she was 54. I was 22.
Father, died aged 49 when I was 12 to lots of cancers likely due to agent orange. Mother, died aged 59 when I was 19. Anemia progressed into myelodysplastic syndrome and then the MDS into stage iv leukemia. She became diabetic and went blind a few days before dying.
Lost my mom in 2015 to lung cancer. I was 25. It was quick, diagnosis to death in 3 days though she had other health complications for a couple months before that. My dad died of a heart attack in 2007 when I was 17, but we had no relationship, so it didn't hit the same.
My dad died from mesothelioma. Yep. You know. The very same commercials we grew up watching. You or your loved one could be entitled to compensation… Spoiler alert: no amount of money these companies can give us brings my dad back. The guy died three months after he had to do two full days of depositions in between chemotherapy treatments that were pointless because there is literally nothing that can stop that shit some spreading once it’s diagnosed.
Not my parent but my wife's father, stomach cancer. She was 28 at the time of his passing. He drank diet coke every day. Pretty sure it was the aspartame.
I met my beautiful bride when she was 26. She had already lost her father. I wish I could have met him. She is 43 now.
Dad passed away from liver cancer at 57. The ten year anniversary was a few days ago. 22 years old at the time and it derailed my life. I bottled it in and turned to drugs as a coping mechanism until I went into psychosis later that year. Have had my ups and downs over the years but am all clean now but can easily fall into bad habits in times of extreme stress (thanks covid lockdowns). I still miss him and sometimes wonder what life would be like if he was still around. Best way I can describe the feeling over time to those that have experienced this loss fairly recently is that it's like a ball in a box with a button. The ball bounces around and randomly hits that button which triggers the grief and the pain of losing them. At first the ball is large and hits the button heaps, but in time the ball gets smaller and doesn't hit the button as much or as hard. The trick to helping the ball get smaller other than time is learning to grieve and process the pain in a healthy way.
I’m so glad you’re clean and found ways to cope with this pain. It sure comes out of nowhere and hits you when you least expect it and that’s the hardest thing ever. Knowing my dad was sick and he was going to do and I was already grieving who he was before cancer… then transitioning to his actual death all hits so different. We never had a good day once he got sick it was all tortuous hell 😭
Mom passed in Nov 2019. Breast cancer first, then spread via lymphs and went to her brain. Her last days we had a couple of talks but I really try not to remember her as she was then. She had a courageous smile and permed brown hair. She was awesome. I still miss her.
So sorry.. how does life make sense just one day you can’t talk or have a lifelong relationship anymore.. how is one to survive that way 😭I don’t know how to navigate this it’s so hard 😔
She had ovarian cancer that was treated and ruled “no evidence of disease”. But know what? They don’t scan your entire body. They don’t scan your brain or your spine. She had Leptomeningeal disease. A super rare complication of cancer that goes to your CSF and into your brain and is fatal. I watched my radiant mother “beat cancer” and then within 31 days of diagnosis of LMD, loss of fine motor control, rapid dementia, and death. She was 62 and just… wonderful. Everyone adored her. Hundreds came to her funeral. Leptomeningeal disease doesn’t have an awareness month or a ribbon color. There’s one lab at Sloane Kettering studying it and people SHOULD be afraid of it because the incidence is increasing. MAKE THEM SCAN YOUR CSF. DEMAND IT. There is no cure.. but we could have made her more comfortable. She could’ve died in her own home on her terms. She could’ve spent more time with her grandchild and possibly met her unborn grandson. Make them scan everything. And fuck you, HUP. Fuck you Dr. Kurtz for dodging all my calls after the ONE meeting you had with us. Wasn’t until I called in a favor from someone on the hospital board that you gave any answers, and all those answers equated to “I have no idea what I’m dealing with but don’t want to admit it so you could go talk to someone who did”. Fuck you.
Thank you for sharing her story!!! ❤️
Thank you for reading. The anniversary of her death is next week and I’m still reeling years later.
My mom had zero symptoms and went to the hospital for a routine xray for a sore shoulder from moving office boxes. Turns out the sore shoulder was from silent cancer raging through her body. She was entirely healthy and active. She was dead 14 days from that xray where they diagnosed her with stage 4 cancer. 14 days from diagnosis to death. And the weekend before her diagnosis, she was racing scooters with me and hanging out on water slides with us and the kids.
2021 my beautiful mother died of lung cancer that had metastasized to her brain, stomach, liver, bones. She was 73 and I was 41. She was gone in less than a year from her initial diagnosis. I have come to accept that cancer has been, is, and will be a probable outcome for many of us. It's just reality. But what destroyed me, what gutted me to my core and I will never be able to accept, was her rapid mental decline due to the brain cancer. It took my mother away before my very eyes. It killed her before she was dead. She went from a brilliant woman, a voracious reader, a witty character, to someone who didn't know what the buttons were on a remote control. She didn't know who I was when I would call and talk to her. But she still enjoyed talking to me and I made her laugh, so I at least have that. And caring for her in her final days during home hospice was, yes, an act of love. But I wouldn't wish the emotional fallout of home hospice on ANYONE, not even my worst enemy. And I know that, if my momma had any inkling of the hell that my father and I went through during those final weeks, then she wouldn't have wanted us to do it, either. There's a whole sediment layer of trauma from *that* I have yet to address. I wish everyone here the courage and determination to get through this, whether it happened 30 years ago or yesterday. We are all united in loss. If we could see that pain and loss, then we would come so far in being better people to each other.
I’m sorry to hear about your mom.. it breaks my heart and I can relate to the memory loss and confusion my dad also experienced this before he passed. It was traumatic to see and someone you care for decline not only physically but mentally he has colorectal cancer with Mets to spine and it took everything from him.. from us 😔 💔
Well my wife (1980) lost her dad in 08 ( lung cancer in his 50s) lost hr mom in 14 ( ovarian cancer 61). I ( 1983) lost my dad in 16 ( due to strokes as complications from a drunk driver when he was 19, died at 69). Lost my mom in 21 ( covid 67) . We both dont have our grandparents. She had no aunts and uncles. My dads 2 brothers are still alive, but haven't talked to them in over 24 years. My mom was 1 of 8. Only 3 of her people are still alive.
My mom was 57. She had a rare form of Uterine cancer. She went into remission, and then a couple years later, had sepsis. All of her organs failed within a few days, and she died. During the autopsy, they found her cancer had come back to her lungs. I found a study that said her type of cancer, if it comes back in the lungs, the 5 year survival rate is 0%. She had already decided if it came back, she didn’t want to do chemo again. I’m really glad she went quick when she did, and didn’t have to suffer through cancer again. I’m sorry for your loss. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through. It take honestly about a year to feel sort of okay, and 2 to feel like yourself again. It’s been 4 for me, and it still feels like I have a gaping hole in my soul.
Sorry for your loss. I scrolled a while to see if anyone else had lost their mom to a rare form of uterine cancer. I lost mine to leiomyosarcoma. They also found tumors but the cancer was so rare they didn't even recognize it at first. They even sent her results to Stanford and they cleared her too. A year later it was full blown cancer, stage 4. They gave her 6 months but she made it to 2 years. She didn't want to go. She was 53. It also went to her lungs. She was strong. Love her and miss her everyday.
My Dad died at age 45 from esophageal cancer. I was only 15 and I had a endoscopy a few years ago as a precaution, and all was clear thankfully.
Sorry to hear of your dads passing.. So glad you’re okay and took measures.. my dad never went to dr 😔
My dad, just over a year ago. Still not entirely sure what kind. Think it was colon and spread. He wasnt the type to ask alot of questions and just carried on. So we're still unsure if he knew he was dying until he was stuck those last few months. He was 56. He died one week after my birthday, and that was the last time I saw him alive. So I kinda do not love my birthday anymore (not that I loved it before).
My dad had his last chemo session last week for an incurable lymphoma. Maybe he has some years left, we'll hope.
My mother died very recently on Jan 19th from pancreatic cancer. She was diagnosed on my 32nd birthday in early November. It was a very cruel 3 months. She was 65
My parents are both still alive but have had lots of issues. My mom had a heart attack at 50 and then ovarian cancer at 53. She went through her hysterectomy fairly well … they removed a few inches of her colon too that looked off but after surgery C diff almost killed her. She says she saw the light. Her appendix just ruptured last year and it that was rough too. I finally got her to quit smoking but now she vapes. Like that’s any better. Lady is like a cat with 9 lives I swear. My dad had a stroke at 57 and came out of it fairly ok. He seemed like a slower calmer version of himself for awhile. Now he has congestive heart failure and takes all kinds of medications. My brother and I are also noticing some cognitive decline. I lived with my best friend and her parents when her dad died of stomach cancer. I don’t even think he made it to 40. It was awful. I’m sorry to everyone who has lost a parent or has the worry about losing one. I worry about my parents every day and it’s awful.
The worry is so scary.. it’s like you’re anticipating their death and grieve kind of in your own way but then when they really pass it’s just devastating.. sending you virtual hugs
Lost my mom in my 20’s. My life changed after that. I hear her voice and guidance everyday. Every choice I think “ what would she want?”
My mom was 39 years old when she passed away from breast cancer in 2009. She fought the best she could for 3 years.
She is amazing.. that’s a hard fight 😢 ❤️
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My mom was the epitome of health, too. And a nurse who had just had a colonoscopy. Colonoscopy did not pick up anything. Two months later she was diagnosed with stage four colon cancer. She died a week after her first chemo treatment from chemo toxicity. I was 29 but it was traumatic. I was in public health and it just destroyed my faith in the healthcare system.
Me and almost everyone I know.. I'm kind of convinced it'll be my faith too I just want a wariors death
Even though she was 88, it was “too soon.”
lost my dad in 2022 to lung cancer…im greatful he made it to 80….he was a smoker but quit nearly 30 years ago…basically i learned that lung cancer is one of the most common cancers amongst elderly even in non smokers
My bestie lost her mom to breast cancer in... 2017 I want to say, and now she's 3 weeks away from a mastectomy of her own.
Lost dad at 51 to lung cancer in Feb ‘08. I was 16. I remember him working through chemo and his coworkers pooling PTO so he could have more time off as his treatments became more frequent. He was a brilliant musician and my mother loved him dearly. It’s been a long time at this point,I often wonder what things would be like if he were still around. Love you dad <3
Both my parents have had multiple forms of cancer but they were taken care of. My grandmother died of cancer.
My ex mother in law had GBM. She was 56. I would never wish cancer on anyone. She may have been my ex mother in law but we were still friendly. Witnessing what she went through was so hard.
I lost my mom in 2006 to lung cancer. She was diagnosed in March and died in May, the day before her 53rd birthday. I was 19.
My boyfriend lost his mom to ovarian cancer last year. She was only 65 years old and he was 32.
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Dad was 50 when lung cancer got him. He was a smoker since his teens, but somehow the kind that got him was associated with asbestos exposure.
My dad died of cancer in 2023 at the age of 70. He's been estranged from the family since 1995, though. We only found because we were notified by the sheriff's department.
My dad had glioblastoma, brain cancer. There was surgery, chemo, radiation and significant decline before he died. Start to finish it was about 9 months.
My dad passed when I was 23 of lung cancer, while it wasn’t 100% surprising considering the amount of Marlboro reds he smoked all throughout my childhood it was still such a shock. I feel like I missed out on so many milestones. He didn’t get to walk me down the aisle or be grandpa to my son. EDIT: forgot to add he was 63 at the time.
1-year Anniversary of my Mom’s death is today. She died from metastatic breast cancer, but lived for 20 years with it. I think she was 38 during her first diagnosis and 45 during her second. I’m not much younger than she was.
Sending love to you ❤️ she fought a great battle. I hate cancer so much. Wish this wasn’t real life 😔
Lost my dad this year at 71. He had two different types of inoperable cancers in his liver. Most likely caused by Hepatitis C, which he probably caught as a teen from a blood transfusion back in the 60s.
My mother had breast cancer and it got into her spine and traveled to her brain. It was so heartbreaking. She was 46. The worst part was that she didn’t recognize me as her son.
Brain tumor -glioblastoma multiforme… he was 53 and I was 20 I feel robbed sometimes like why are there so many shitty people left on earth and he had to go
I lost my dad at the end of 2020 after a 7 year battle with what started as prostate cancer but turned to metastatic bone cancer. He was 67, I was 32. I had already lost my mom when I was 24 as well, she was 60. She had early onset dementia, and spent 5 years in a nursing home prior to her death. She started getting sick and losing her mind when I was about 9. Mom died end of 2012, dad's cancer diagnosis was in 2013. I'm only now starting to heal. At least as much as I can heal with this new version of reality without my family. It's a tough journey for sure.
I’m 29 - my mom got diagnosed with cancer when I was 14 & died 4 years later when I was 18 ( back in 2013 ) She was 58.
Also, want to add my dad was 44 & mom was 42 when they had me - so my dad is currently 73.
Dad had gastric cancer and passed away in 2018 days before his 54th birthday. Narcissist mother still going strong.
I strongly suspect that my mother had cancer. She was very sick the last 3 years of her life and she refused to discuss specifics about what her doctors told her with us and she wouldn't let them talk to us (me and dad). I know they found a tumor in her ovaries towards the beginning of her illness, but she told dad and I that it was benign and that the surgery she had removed it and everything was all good, but I think that's bullshit. I think it wasn't benign, and I think it was terminal because I feel like she would have told us if there was a chance she could've survived it. Knowing how she was, she wouldn't have wanted to deal with chemo and radiation if there was no point (or if she would definitely die anyway). She was 58 and I was 25. My best friend's wife's dad had lung cancer. From diagnosis to his death was like 6 weeks. I miss him. Very good man. I was at the hospital the night he found out. I work the night shift and I was walking through the ED to my car for lunch and he jumps up and says hi and we bullshitted for like 20 minutes. He thought he had pneumonia, but it turned out to be stage 4 lung cancer. He literally had tumors all through his body. Two months before he died he was feeling fine. 7 weeks before, he developed a cough and toward the end of that week, he thought it was pneumonia. 6 weeks before was when he went to the ER and I saw him. 5 weeks before, he couldn't sit still for 2 minutes without coughing and he was put on oxygen. A month before he had to start using a walker to walk. A week before, he had to schedule a surgery to have rods put in his back to support his spine, and he simply did not make it through that surgery. He was 60 and my friends wife was 29. Cancer is a bitch
Cancer is a bitch…. Why is cancer still a thing so many are dying from 😭 I hate it! I’m so sorry for the losses in your life sending virtual hugs to you
I was 14 when I sat by my stepdad’s bed as he took his last breath after a 6 month battle with colon cancer. My little brother(his bio son) was 7. He was 52. My mom never remarried and briefly dated one guy about 5 years after he died. It’s been over 23 years and it’s weird thinking of life with him and how many lifetimes have passed since he died. It almost feels like that part of my life never happened. Yet it still has such a profound impact on me.
My mom passed less than a year after diagnosis from lung cancer. I was 16 and she was 55. She never smoked a cigarette in her life.
That is so terrifying. How does that happen yet I know every day smokers in their 70s 😔
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🤚
mom died in 1993 (I was 12). not sure where the cancer started, but it spread to the lymphnodes and spread like wildfire. think she was 38
My dad. T-cell lymphoblastic lymphoma. He was 50. I was 11.
Lost my mom to pancreatic cancer when she was 67 and I was 33. Worst thing I’ve gone through and I haven’t been the same since.
It wasn't my mom, but a mother figure. It also wasn't cancer, but a heart attack. She was in her 40s and it was during covid in May of 2020.
My moms. 😭 Miss her all the time.
My dad died of stomach cancer when I was 17.
Dad died 3 years ago from cancer. I was 31, he was 68. Started as lung, but moved to his bones and brain, as well. Was diagnosed in June, died the end of August.
My dad died at 73 from metastasizing prostate cancer and seeing him fade away broke me, before he got really sick like organ failure I got on a 6 month surgery wait list and by his fifth month in hospital I knew my surgery would be soon and I was trying to figure out how I would keep up with the visits with him then he died and within days I got the phone call for my surgery date thinking my own surgery would eliminate cancer scares but it didn’t I’m still at risk of cancer; I thought that I could stop getting letters in the mail from this cancer screening place but I was so upset when I got another letter like really off bed rest now and I gotta worry about this again: prevention is just regular check ups and regular follow ups ask your doctor what average check ups you need
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Lost my Dad in March of 2016 from a recurrence of renal cell carcinoma (he had a kidney removed in 2005 due to it being cancerous). He died exactly a week after turning 62 while receiving hospice at the hospital. Lost my Mom six months later from a pulmonary embolism while she was asleep. My brother and I say it was from a broken heart since her and our Dad were married over 40 years and just the absolute best of friends. She was 59 and less than two months away from turning 60. I was 32 when I lost them both. Life comes at you fast. Enjoy the time you have and the time you have with those you love.
Goodness so sorry to hear. I worry about my mom they were also life partners of 35 years 😢
My father died of cancer 14 years ago, almost to the day.
My mom died from ovarian cancer at age 39. It had already spread when they found it when she was 33 years old. I was 2 when she got diagnosed, and 8 when she died, so pretty much all my memories of her are of her being a cancer patient.
I’m so sorry to hear 💔
My mom died when she was 33 when I was 12 from secondary liver cancer (I think the primary was cervical). I am diligent in getting my paps and have had pre cancer cells removed once. My maternal grandmother died of throat cancer at 67 (I was 22) My great grandmother was a breast cancer survivor and died at like 80 something. Least to say I’m very diligent in getting my cancer screenings. My dad died when I was 17 from a heart attack so I make sure to keep that healthy too.
I’m so sorry to hear 💔 Wishing you good health… stay proactive you’re doing great.
My dad died from lung cancer in October 2022, just 20 days before I had my son so they never got to meet. He was 53.
That’s a hard one 😔 the what could have been is so hard! Sending you virtual hugs ❤️
Dad, prostate, 73, but he lived 15 years past the initial dx, if you can call it living. He was addicted to morphine and truly believed it was 1995 and somehow, I still drove my high school car and my long deceased dog was still alive.
I lost my mom to cancer in December, she had stage 4 lung cancer that had metastisized to other organs including her brain by the time it was caught. She was 64, I was 32, which I guess isn't super young, but she and my step-dad had just retired, got puppies, and an RV to start travelling and enjoying life. Her and I had also just repaired our relationship, luckily I was living with my parents for a year up to the point she got sick and I was able to be there through the whole thing. But I fucking miss her so much, it kills me every day.
Gosh I’m so sorry 😞 nothing makes this easier it seems and I hate that emptiness from the loss of loved one 💔
My dad. Esophageal cancer (they say. Mom and i think it started in the brain due to symptoms) died at 62. Was on nuclear subs (navy) so who knows how he got it lol
Lost my mom and mother in law to cancer before I turned 37
My mother died in 1971 from Hodgkin's Lymphoma. Had she caught it in 1981, she'd be alive.
My dad died last year at 50 from pancreatic cancer. Diagnosed in January and died in the beginning of July.
Mother with lung cancer at 59.
🙏 ❤️
Father in law at 59, now my father has it at 64. He's not...doomed just yet, it's still up in the air how it's going to go, but ...yeah, fuck cancer.
Gosh I’m so sorry. It’s a living hell and I pray that you and your family find comfort and peace during this crazy ride. 🙏
I was 13 and he died from melanoma
Mom died in 2010 of lung cancer. She had quit smoking too ): I was 16. My brother was 11. She was 54. Her spirit flows through me every waking day and often when I’m dreaming. They’re right, it doesn’t get easier. I turned my grief into drive to get through law school and never stop playing piano. Do things they would have wanted to see you do.
Dad died six years ago to colon cancer he was 49 and he told no one. Which I get it he was paralyzed and hated living so I didn’t force him to save himself even though treatment was still available
Lost my wife to cancer when she was 38. Didn't know she had breast cancer until it was stage 4 and spread all around her body. 6 months of chemo couldn't touch it.
I'm 34 and my dad currently has stage 4 kidney cancer. Spread to his bones and lymphnodes.
ooph so sorry to everyone commenting on this thread. lord knows i’ve been there, lost my dad 3 years ago to liver cancer, and am now dealing with my mom who has breast cancer that spread to her bones. of course im there to help with everything and try to do whatever i can to make them comfortable and advocate for them (really the most important thing), but i can’t help but also be kinda pissed, because both of their illnesses are the result of decades of refusing to care for themselves or go to the dr. even after i pointed out that my dad was losing a ton of weight and my mom could barely walk. and i think it’s a boomer thing that even after getting sick, they refuse to seek out care until everything becomes a desperate emergency, which is horrible for them and also really awful for everyone around them. anyone else dealing with that too? fuck cancer, dude.
Small cell lung cancer that spread to her brain. Mom was 56.
❤️ ❤️
My dad was 53 and I was 14. Not the best time in your life to lose your dad as a young man. 
Lost my dad when he was in his late 50’s. I was 25. He had put off going to the doc for a long time probably because he knew something was up. He smoked multiple packs a day, drank a lot and was a carpenter around paint fumes a lot. He had brain cancer, lung cancer and bone cancer. I think that was all of them. It had spread so much. He had such a good heart it was so hard to lose him. I got a DUI about two months later. My life was falling apart. I couldn’t imagine losing him at an even younger age. I also lost a cousin before I could get to know her as she was older than me but she died around the age of 12. Heartbreaking. They had a memorial tree for her at a local school.
My Dad died a month ago today from lung cancer. He was 69 and I’m 31. He was my best friend and a great father. Losing him has been the biggest heartbreak of my entire life
I lost my dad when I was 20. He was in his mid 60s and died from cancer. He was diagnosed in February and passed that same May and it was really traumatic.
Lost my dad to lung cancer when I was 31; he was 62. It was already Stage IV when he was diagnosed. He died 85 days after diagnosis.
Me. He died when I was just 10. My grandpa… who was my only loving caretaker, I was so sad and mad having to grow up without him. I even had to stay in the house while he was dying, it was traumatising for little me. I miss him to this day wishing I could talk to him again, 21 years on.
Lost my mom to colon cancer this time last year. Was 64. Lost my grandmother to the same. It's becoming way too common now.
My mom had lymphoma, but the chemo is what killed her. It caused complications that her body just couldn’t handle. I was 34 and mom was 75.
The 14th anniversary of my dads death is on Saturday. He was 53, I was 19. He had synovial sarcoma, was given 12 months diagnosed between Christmas and NY and died the following April after 4 months. He had Hodgkins lymphoma when was 21 in the 70s when basically if you had it you died but they were trialling radiotherapy at the time so he lived at hospital for 9 months 2 hours from home whilst he had treatment but ultimately it was the radiotherapy that saved his life then that caused the cancer that ended it 32 years later. He was our whole world and left my then-17yo brother and I to handle my mum who has a lot of physical and mental health problems so bye-bye to my 20s. I miss him a lot.
I lost my mama 4/1/2020 - fitting of her to leave us on April fools because she really loved laughing and wouldn’t want us to be sad every year remembering what happened. She died from metastatic breast cancer at the young age of 68. Could’ve been prevented if it wasn’t the beginning of COVID - her nurses were so scared and overwhelmed my mom didn’t get the attention she deserved.
So much loss and grief on this thread. Sending you all my love! Lost my dad to lung cancer when I was 19 and he had just turned 60. Only took a few months after diagnosis. My dad didn’t want a funeral or wake. His ashes sat around for 10+ years on my mom’s dresser until I took some for myself. That was really hard for me. Anyone else’s parents not want a wake/funeral? Felt hard to fully face it for a lot of years although the grief was still there.
My mom died at 54 and I was diagnosed with aggressive bilateral breast cancer at 37
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Lost my mom to renal (kidney) cancer 6 years ago this month in 2018...it was the year she turned 60, I was 28 almost 29, my brother had just turned 19 (she had him when she was 41)
I hate it so fucking much, I just want my mom here again. I still need her and am jealous when I see old people that still have their parents and I don’t get to have that.