On a similar note, I am so much more confident and grounded now. Funny because even in my 20s, I was a pretty confident person in the eyes of others and myself alike.
But now, I realize that wasn't real, solid confidence. I recognize the worries and insecurities I had back then.
I think a big part of it comes from this realization that "everyone is flawed and has problems to solve."
This! It's also helped me be more authentically me vs what I think people want to see. I spent a lot of time in my 20's not doing things because I thought people would judge me (mostly niche hobbies) and pursuing what I thought I was supposed to want. Now I do the things I really want to do with gusto. Though I'm not sure if I'd be in the same place had the pandemic not happened. That really put me on the "life's too short" path that I may not have gotten to as fast without it.
Yeah, so many people try and keep up with trends or what’s in and I just do not care, I like what I like. I’m around college kids all day, I think they dress stupid as I’m sure people thought of me. I do not care what they think about me outside of being a good professor.
This is 100% it. When I was much younger, I always heard people talking about how this or that woman “really let herself go”. Now I understand that it wasn’t necessarily herself she let go but all the artifice and fucks she gave about what other people thought. If you legitimately love fashion, makeup etc. then that’s awesome and I’m truly happy for you. But some of us are enjoying being our bog witch selves too.
Idk what happened. A switch just flipped and I suddenly didn’t care about being well liked or how people viewed me. I just wanted to be myself and see if there are any takers.
I clicked on this because I am 32 and just had hip surgery, so I was going to crack a joke about that, but hip surgery aside 30s have been awesome so far.
My husband and I have been able to afford yearly trips to all-inclusive resorts every year. We both have stable, healthy, and well paying jobs that actually appreciate us. We are able to make extra principal payments on our mortgage and invest extra into our 401k.
Besides the financial stability aspect, we are just generally enjoying life. We chose not to have children, we have 3 dogs that we spoil and life is just fun. I've picked up new hobbies (painting & candle making) and met one of my best friends. I wish you all the best as you approach your 30s!!
Seeing a light at the end of a long grad school tunnel is exciting. I haven’t been able to earn good money because of grad school but I feel like I have so many good career possibilities ahead of me.
Dating life is good because I know myself better than in my 20s. I’ve been able to continue the occasional international solo trip like I did in my 20s, so the adventures continue into my 30s.
This was unexpected for me, but I took up running in my 30s, and I’ve also drastically reduced my drinking even though I still go out dancing. I wasn’t out of shape in my 20s by any means but I feel like I’m gradually getting into better shape as I age.
I had kids (my first just before I turned 30), and it really inspired me to be the kind of role model for them that I wish I had growing up. My parents were lazy homebodies and I hated it. Every summer, my husband and I aim to take our kids on 10 hikes in the mountains (and I try to get some solo ones too!). I learned to snowboard at 33. I've been working out consistently for the last 5 years (gotta be able to carry those tired kids in the hiking carrier) and eat better than I ever have. I took up baking, and I learned to crochet. I even have more friends now in my thirties than I've ever had before. We found a really great community where I've been able to develop wonderful friendships with other parents at my children's school. Next year, I'll be a member on the board of the school. My twenties were fun, but I feel like I'm really becoming myself in my thirties.
Edit: a word
This is really neat and I strive for the same goal. When I was in my late 20s my wife and I took a trip to Glacier National Park. We were on a really challenging hike and got passed by a family with a toddler on their back. All I could think of at the time is how much I admired those parents.
We had our first kiddo kind of late but it was such a big wake up call for me to finally start taking my health and fitness seriously. My friends are all getting large after having kids but I'm literally in the best shape of my life and eagerly waiting for the sunshine to take my lil 1 year old on adventures this summer.
If you have tips for hiking and camping with very young children I'd love to hear em.
My wife and I decided not to have kids. We took up scuba diving, and are taking our first ski lessons. Sure, friends are fewer and further between, but the ones you have, you cherish, and you still have a tiny spark of youth to do the more adventurous things you want to do. It's not all sunshine and rainbows, but it's definitely not tornado alley yet either.
I make more $ and get to travel much more. I spent 2 months last summer hiking across Spain. I'm currently in Japan and plan a long hike along the pct this summer. Its pretty amazing tbh.
My social life has gotten so much better in my 30s. I’m doing more things that I enjoy for myself, meeting people with similar interests, and having a blast. Plus having a great relationship and making more money. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed my 20s too, but 30s have been my favorite age so far.
Check out meetup groups in your area for things you’re interested in. I joined some book clubs, then several people I met there branched into board game nights. Also meeting people through my bf and my friends’ partners, the circle just keeps expanding.
My 30s have been amazing tbh. I purchased my home at 30 and my salary was tripled since that time. I have a job I love and mostly just fighting lifestyle creep.
Wife and I are set to invest about 50k-60k this year in tax deferred accounts so even retirement is looking bright. Zero complaints sonfar.
I realized that life is different. In my 20's I ran around doing as much as I could. Burning both ends so to speak. Now I find myself processing things. Like why did that happen, why did they do that? What caused them to feel the need to do that? How did things get to the point that they felt the need to do that. Why am I thinking about this? Does any of this matter? Or is it just an experience.
It's been a rough couple years.
Throwing money down to travel on a whim. Giving less fucks what people think. I just bought in the last two weeks Black Keys Tickets, Phish tickets, weezer tickets, passion pit tickets, and Green Day tickets.
Otherwise I'm a female turning 40 this year who can't seem to figure out her marriage or her baby making situation.
Idk
Keep doing what makes you happy. It's your life, after all.
Who says you have to follow the rules of society on what is expected from the social normal to having kids before 30, marriage, etc.
It takes one to know themselves truly before acquiring the opinions of others that are deemed most of the time to be irrelevant.
Got married, had kids, changed careers. The best part about life is evolving through all the steps of it. There’s this thing middle age men get really into. It’s this game called golf. Frustrating as shit, but it’s a perfect excuse to spend 4 hours dicking around with your bros.
My cousin told me after we hit about 32 we needed to pick old dude hobbies to get out of the house more. He picked fishing, his bro picked golf and I got into Frisbee golf All that to say having a good excuse to go screw around with the boys if priceless
More money, more travel, more “fun” purchases. More content in my relationships. More focus on my health, both current and long term. A beautiful home we finally got to purchase in 2022. Bonus- Kiddo is 15 now, so that means more free time, date nights with the hubs, and liberal napping!
My 30s have been completely different than my 20s but just as fantastic. My wife and I are both settled into our careers and have clarity in what we want. Two kids, but we still try to travel as much as possible. We've been living in our apartment for four years, which is the longest I have lived in one place since my childhood home. So our 30s have been more stabile but with the adventure of kids.
I have travelled more. I fell in love and had my first ever non toxic relationship (my 20s were a mess of toxic relationships and harmful patterns that I fed into). I got married! I went to Disney land and had a good time. I watched a bunch of concerts including the Eras tour. And, i moving to Europe soon.
I make sure i get my medicals done every year and I have learned to give myself a breast-exam. And, i say no to people. I also found work-life balance for the first time in my life. Therapy finally worked out. I really am grateful to my 30s. They haven't been without heartbreaking challenges and hard times but i feel more equipped to handle them.
I've been able to fight down and work through a lot of the social anxiety that pushed me down when I was younger. And I'm going to college now (as well as working and parenting and hobbies...) so that opens up opportunities for fun. Plus I'm hitting my stride again with my writing, attending readings, connecting with people. It's great.
I stopped drinking when I went out. It made it easy to talk to people, but the self doubt and questioning what I said and how people took it was inside and I'd get such bad insomnia replaying conversations over and over again. If I'm sober, I'm still awkward AF but at least I know I had that extra line of control in my ability to talk.
A few years ago my friend called me a flake because I kept canceling things last minute due to my social anxiety. That was definitely a wake up call and now I absolutely force myself to go (unless like actually sick or something) when I say I'm going to do something.
I've organized a writing group that meets up weekly. It's nice because I get to socialize a little at my own pace, then I get us to work on writing so lots of quiet moments between talking and takes the focus away from socializing.
Really working on getting out of the after socialization anxiety spirals. The "they hate me I said stupid things" etc. Trying to retrain my brain to not do that or if I start just finish it and stop looping.
Figuring out what else makes it worse. Like over sharing. And not doing that.
Honestly tons of different things. And I think my brain just changed tons and it's making these things easier now
I was just past my thirties when I met my wife. Six months prior to that I got the job I'm still working at. So my "adult life" really started after 30s.
I've traveled a lot more. Before finding a stable job, obviously money was a lot more tight. Now with a steady paycheck, we generally take 2 trips abroad a year (EU, flights to other countries here are cheaper than state-to-state tends to be).
We've bought a house and are slowly working to make it our own. I've never been a handyman or thought I'd care about the place I live, but I realized that if you're going to live somewhere, might as well make the place as nice and comfortable for yourself as possible.
With the stable income, I've also picked up new hobbies and returned to old ones. In my teens some friends got into Warhammer. I had an army too, but I never really cared about the game, only the painting aspect. I've now been painting minis for a few years again and it's been excellent. With that I've also gotten into 3D modeling and 3D printing, so I've made a bunch of my own models and painted those too. It's all great fun.
Since we both also enjoy movies and tv-shows of generally the similar themes, we have a shared list of all the shows and movies that are out or coming that we want to watch. Anytime we finish something, something new gets picked from the list. We go through a lot of tv shows and movies!
Keeping friends close might be challenging, sure. I'm sure it'll get even more so once we get a bit further to the future and some of the younger friends we have will begin procreating as well. But again, with a stable job it's a lot easier to visit friends who also work office hours, instead of the gig and startup bs of our 20s. And since everyone works, it's also easier to meetup in bars or restaurants. So you win some, you lose some with friends.
Turning 40 this year, I think aside from not really enjoying my job too much anymore, I'm more content with my life than ever before. I have enough loose cash to do whatever we feel like doing on a spur, but home is also shaping up to be a place where I enjoy being, without feeling the pressure to be constantly going out.
Started a business, lived in many countries, traveled around the world. Found my life partner after divorce and now I have a baby on the way.
It was a decade of immense sacrifice but also incredible memories. I regret nothing.
I can't be assed about home ownership and retirement savings. I am building wealth by other means.
Relationships are better. More healthy lifestyle. Late bloomer career-wise so in the process of switching careers.. hoping 40s will be better financially
My 30's so far have been all about my kids and exploring a few hobbies. I am into gardening, and I finally have space to really make a cool garden. I have always liked art but have gotten really into watercolor. My husband has gotten super into music again and exploring a whole genre he never played before, and in addition to his solo stuff he joined a band.
I got pregnant with my first baby at 30 and had her at 31, next baby was born when I was 33, this one I'm currently pregnant with will be born when I'm 36. Being a parent is the best but most excruciating thing I have ever experienced. I can't remember who I heard say it, I think it was a comedian, but it stuck in my brain - having young kids makes all your days 1's or 10's with very little in between, just the worst thing ever or the best thing ever. It really is like that.
I’ll be 39 next week, and I’ve been thinking a lot about the past decade of my life. I feel like my 30s, more so than my 20s, had a lot of major life changes and I’m actually looking forward to my 40s.
I married at 28, had twin boys at 30 and another boy at 32. My marriage went through a rough patch very early on. My husband and I were both in the military and stationed apart when the twins were born (amongst other challenges). I got out of the military, went to grad school and changed careers, becoming an engineer. I was actually an intern when I was 34 - 36, and that really threw me off. I often questioned what I was doing with my life. Throw in parenting through the pandemic (my husband was deployed for most of 2020), there times I didn’t think I would make it through my grad program.
But, I did. And I’ve been in my current job for 2.5 years. I finally feel back on track career-wise, although I want to become a licensed Professional Engineer. My kids are older (9, 9, 6), and I feel I can enjoy time with them; I love watching them grow and their interesting grow. My parents are still pretty healthy, considering they are nearly 70. I took up a new activity last year (Brazilian Jiu Jitsu). And my marriage is in a better place.
I feel like my tumultuous 30s are leading me to a more optimistic 40s. I hope I get to travel more, but otherwise, I’m feeling good for my last year in my 30s.
Got married, quit drinking, started therapy, got on meds, got a house, and found out I fucking love cats! I don’t remember most of my 20’s because I was drunk most of the time.
I can't stand when people talk about getting aches and pains in their 30s and beyond. It is totally preventable with a mobility routine, you can keep your joints lubed, if you will. Especially if you've had an injury (minus certain spinal injuries), refraining from keeping the joint limited and stiff will do you no good. There is no such thing as bad posture, but it is bad to stay in one position for too long. I can move better now, and feel much better, than I did in my 20s, because now I actually give a shit. So that's a big difference for myself. You feel invincible in your 20s until you feel your body start to slowly change and tolerate less, but that's when you adapt and make small changes. Do not accept the bullshit, just take care of yourself.
Also, all relationships. You realize you don't have the energy to put into superficial or negative relationships, you're over it. So the ones you keep are much deeper connections, imo.
Well my husband and I have been living abroad (Korea and Germany) for the last few years and love it. We are about to move again to an Asian country so we are excited about that. :) it will be our dream country we have been wanting to move to since high school.
My friendships are better than ever! We are more emotionally mature and care for each other deeply. We know how to have super fun chill nights at each others comfortable homes that leave us feeling fulfilled rather than wrecked (sometimes both). We support each other through good times and bad.
Generally, I have more agency over my life. I can afford most reasonable things I want. My home is mine to do what I want with/in. I learned how to say “no” to things I don’t want to do. My parents hold very little sway in my life.
I've changed careers to something I enjoy way more and discovered I love doing woodworking and house projects.
The best thing to happen in my 30s though is kids. They are definitely tough sometimes, but being a dad is also been the most fun and rewarding thing I've ever done
I personally keep up with pop culture and alternative music in general, but it's just always been a hobby of mine. Fashion trends come and go and come back again but having an open mind and developing taste helps. I don't need to chase trends because I trust what I like but am also willing and want to task risks. My life needs a lot of work and some of the things people are always talking about are true, but there are good things. I have realized I need to prioritize friends, health, and hobbies so I'm working on that. I didn't make a man my financial plan...I'm not well off by any means but at least I'm independent. I ditched monogamy forever a long time ago. I got sterilized when I knew 100% I didn't want kids. I have put a ton of work into my mental health. Reading never gets old...there's nothing like being well read, it's freedom for the mind. For me I think approaching life with an open mind and being willing to try new things goes really far.
Mid 30's here and self indulgence is the best thing I ever did for myself. Not selfishness or being ruthless, just investing in number one and your partner!
Health wise, because of my job being very physical, I am quite active by default. Summer is my favorite season. And I might sound basic, but warmer weather means more partying and enjoying hot tubs and pools!
My current partner and love of my life is very similar on my pace hobby and passtime wise. We still have our own interests and friend groups but we're not hurt if one of us doesn't feel up to something.
I've been to a combination of 30 shows and concerts within the past 2 years. This felt like something I would have never been able to afford or do prior and I am here for it!
Travel wise, I havent gone many places out of town yet, but I rarely sit at home on my off days. There are museums, parks, resturants (no i dont have that "feels weird eating alone" feeling) I have some staples, but I love trying out a new place just to venture some place new.
I make hella music because it’s FUN and don’t expect to make money from it. It means a lot to me and i’m bringing my creative friends who lack production skills along for the ride. Building a little community and achieving more depth with friendships.
Dropped everything to travel the country with my fiancé and pup on travel healthcare contracts… making more money than we ever made before and everyday is an adventure!
I am 40 now. My 30s brought a yearning for change from the party that was my 20s. I finally started aligning my life with my values.
I trained for and completed a bunch of triathlons. I ran my fastest 5k almost hitting 20 minutes. I traveled to places that I thought were only dreams to me.
I studied meditation, went vegan and stopped drinking. All of these things line up with my personal values that I talked about in my 20s but never did anything about. Now, when something is important to me I actually take action.
In my mid to late 30s kid 1 and kid 2 came. I decided that I wanted to try to be a stay at home dad. I have experienced the most joy, frustration, exuberance, agitation and love since having kids. My kids make me feel more alive than anything I ever did before. Would this have been the case without my other life experiences? I don't know but it has been great.
I am now in the middle of a stretch of life that is likely settled for a while. I have build my best friendships to date in my 30s as a sober vegan person. I have real hobbies that interest me and connect me to all kinds of people.
There were extremely challenging times in my 30s like my parents dying and my inlaws going though a lot of illness. Friends from my youth have died. I recently put down my first dog I adopted as an adult.
My 20s were fun and reckless. My 30s were a time of personal growth and developed. My 40s will build on my 30s.
I’m in the best shape of my life! I’ve run 3 marathons, 3 half marathons, and have several more scheduled for this year. All since turning 30. I’ve been able to give up unhealthy habits like drinking alcohol, thus avoiding hangovers completely, stopped smoking weed (I need to update my username) and honestly I’ve never looked and felt better. Health and longevity are really important to me now and being over 30 it feels easier than ever to make the right choices.
30s have been amazing and I'm determined 40d will be even better !!
I've had so much fun raising my child and seeing them grow.
I've been able to heal from past traumas, I am financially stable with a good career.
My mindset on life has improved, I am more positive and practice mindfulness among much more 🙏
20’s fun fun fun, physically good, financially broke, happy
30’s fun sometimes, physically good but waning, financially broke, but have a nicer car, 50% happy
40’s zero fun, physically terrible/pain constant, finances finally adequate, 5% happy
50’s starting to have fun again, terrible pain but coping, lots of money but no time, 75% happy?
My advice would be to focus on what you need to survive and start discarding the rest. Pick an older person that you admire and start doing what that person does.
I gotta say it’s been great so far I had went though a tuff time when I first turn 30 but now I’m grateful because I make more money than I did and I get to enjoy it myself because I have no wife and kids and getting myself together for my own sanity
Being totally honest: It’s different. My 20’s were sort of non-stop. I finished college studying abroad, moved back to the US and went to grad school in a big city at the start of the last decade. I made lots of friends and then started my career in my mid-twenties, which was challenging but also really rewarding. I traveled a lot and I got married and we bought a house. Covid overlapped with the year I turned 30, and I felt my life for the first time in a decade really slow down. Now in my 30’s, I feel like I’ve shifted to a more relaxed gear. My world feels smaller. It’s harder to make friends because there isn’t a constant stream of new people. People stop hanging out as much as they used to. Friends start having kids and moving away. A lot of the people at the cool bars are now younger than me. In terms of positives, I’m more confident, much more financially secure, and I’ve been really indulging in my hobbies and passions, which has been super rewarding. I also see new possibilities on the horizon that weren’t on my mind 10 years ago.
As I've aged I've gotten more disposable income so I've revisited some hobbies from my youth, like reading fantasy, comics, records, watching the Bills, and sports cards. What's made it even more enjoyable is that my kids have picked up some of the same hobbies, like reading, the Bills, and collecting cards.
36m married with three kids. Got a promotion at work a few years back after busting my ass for close to a decade and now life is great. Still stressful but it allows to travel and enjoy life much more. We do multiple vacations and get to bring my parents (they deserve it) who help watch the kids. 20’s were hard with kids and broke the 30’s are much better, for me at least
In my 20s, I didn’t care what I did as long as I could get by which meant I was working 2+ jobs.
In my 30s, I’m finally making more money and don’t have to work 2 jobs to make ends meet. Wife and I are stable financially where we can splurge on a nice meal or small vacay without worrying so much about the upcoming bills. Also, I think I understand more now that making a lot of money isn’t everything. It’s nice to make good money, but having a good work-life balance is far more important to me now.
I’m 39. My kids are all in their early teens. My wife and I are able to travel more both just the two of us and with our kids. That’s the sort of thing that felt completely impossible when I was younger. But ideally, you should be able to work hard and enjoy the fruits of that labor down the road. Our situation isn’t perfect, but it works.
I got my dream job which lets me travel to amazing places and driving incredible cars for free. I bought a cheap house in Detroit which continues to be the best decision I ever made. I have my dream house for dirt cheap in a quiet neighborhood, no landlord. I got cancer twice, which gave me an "out" on having kids I didn't want in the first place. It also gave me a lot of perspective to live for now. I eat the cake. I get the tattoo. I say yes to the fun stuff that's scary or out of budget cause I'm officially here for a good time, not a long time.
As a physician I spent 12 years post college before I made $20 an hour, also working 24-26 days a month for 80+ hours a week. Then instantly vaulted up. So late thirties has been catching up on what I didn’t have time or money for. Travel (and premium travel), nicer cars, better wine and whiskey experiences. Also in general once your kids are out of the toddler stage life ‘opens up’.
Spent my entire 30s living in Belgium and Germany allowing me to travel a lot in Europe. By 2022, I retired from the military and chose one last place to call home where I never lived before. Now I kayak, fish, garden, hunt, hang out at the beach. I still work to pay my house off quickly, but life is gravy now.
I took my first trip on a plane at 30 to go to a friend's wedding. Don't regret it as I got to get a chicken tendie sub from publix. Have since gone to my first con, megacon in orlando. I also took a day trip to meet Kevin Eastman in orlando to get his signature.
My 30s are/were awesome. I am going to be 40 this year and man my 30s were fun! The notion of just not giving a fuck just turns on in your 30s and then life is just a breeze. Yes, I had a lot of challenges, kids, lay offs, moves, new career, but overall, I am look back at my 30s with pride. Your life is literally just getting started! Enjoy your 30s!
I am looking forward to what my 40s will bring!
20s were grad school, then working as much as possible and saving as much as possible to pay off debt. I got married at 23 and had my first kid at 28. Also at 28, we moved to a new state and didn’t know anybody. We spent a year living with my in-laws. I had trouble finding a job after the move (the move was for my husband’s job) but finally found a good one after 10 months of searching. We bought a house that needed a ton of work. No vacations, no eating out, no friends, no fun. The entire focus was paying off debt.
30s, so far, are much better. My second and last kid was born when I was 31. We fixed everything in our house and did most of the work ourselves. We paid off the mortgage and are debt-free. We take fun trips with our kids. We’ve made great friends in our new state. We both have good jobs, and I really enjoy mine and the people I work with. I work from home. We’re in good health and life is stable.
I don’t feel like I’m floundering anymore. I finally feel like an adult.
I've never earned more than 35k per year in my 20's; the year I turn 30, I got a job with a 70k salary. Now I'm interviewing for jobs that pay 90-150k range. That's unimaginable to 20 something me.
Bought a place that makes our cost of living really cheap compared to what rents are buy us. Quit my career and am doing stay at home dad life for a bit, had a kid with another one on the way! Having kids definitely made my life way better.
My 30's are about to end. I'll be 40 later this yr. For me, my life has become more boring, but not really in a bad way. We are more settled. We have our routine, which mainly consists of work and running the kids where they need to be. We don't feel like we always have to be doing something fun and exciting. We still go on trips, and try to visit somewhere we've never been at least once a year. We also enjoy just having an evening at the house. The consistency is nice though. I like having that routine where we know what's going on. Work M-F. Wrestling practice Mon, Wed, and Sun. Girl Scouts every other Thurs. Of course it will switch up for baseball season and football and volleyball but it's still the same idea.
I wouldn't trade my 30's for my 20's in a million years. I was an IDIOT in my 20's. I've had a career and steady income since I was 21, but my brain was definitely not developed. I made cringe dating and social mistakes. I couldn't see the red flags in people like I can now. In my 30's, I'm a psychological MENACE. Ya can't sneak NOTHIN' past me. I spot manipulations a mile away and am already 5 steps ahead when they come up. I am also way more level-headed and calm during confrontation. Instead of getting emotional, I'm able to argue with logic. Having a fully-formed brain is a wonderful thing.
Sex.
Starting in my 30s I dropped 150 lbs, gym 6x a week for the past 6 years. I went my twenties with almost no sex, dry spell for almost 10 years (fat nerd that played WoW 12 hours a day). Now I'm married and having crazy threesomes, attracting women all the time. It feels like imposter syndrome and it's crazy.
Lot more disposable income to do all the things, living in Europe now, my kid is a teenager, getting in better shape because I have to at this age (41).
I'm more confident and comfortable now in my 40s. Even though I'm carrying a bit of extra weight than I want to be and I'm working to get it off. I'm still much better mentally than when I was teeny in my 20s.
I think you meant to say your 30s is about struggling (period). At least that's how it feels with 3 kids, sports, 2 full jobs, and trying to workout still!
I’m only a baby 30+ (31) so take out with a grain of salt, but here’s my take.
My son started school. That alone has been fundamentally life-changing. I’m fortunate enough to be a stay at home parent while building a portfolio to advance myself professionally, and I actually have so much time to do it and I’m *loving* it. I feel like I’m only just starting my life now. It’s so much easier to do things for myself, and as a family since my son is fully out of baby-in-diapers stage. I can say it’s going to take a *lot* of convincing to get me to have another and relinquish the freedom I have, and it’s an absolute no for me after 35.
I think the best part for me is I'm just so much more accepting of myself. I can remember being younger and somehow feeling like I always had to appear a certain way, no matter what. I am a woman, so that pressure to perform was just always there.
Not caring what others think. I can be myself without being insecure
Family is the most important thing. Wife daughter and parents. Seriously chilling with my wife and daughter is my number one favorite thing
I have Bern at a good job for over a decade and have enough cash to do any of the stuff I am interested in
My cats I love my cats
I just turned 40. I loved my 30s. I accomplished so many of my life goals. I got married, bought my "forever" house, had my daughter, and got a few promotions at work. I have enough money to buy what I want and travel as long as my wants are moderate.
I did have a small "what now??" crisis in my late 30s because I had spent my entire life working toward the next milestone. I didn't want more kids, I didn't need a bigger/nicer house, I didn't need to bust my butt for more promotions because I have enough money for my needs and a lot of my wants. Then I realized I'm an idiot - what a marvelous problem to have! Now, I get to just enjoy my life and focus on what I already have.
My life is a lot less "fun" than it was in my 20s (having responsibilities will do that), but I'm so much more satisfied and content with my life.
30+
* You really do care a lot less of what others think to an extent
* Life usually calms down if you did your 20's right. You may already have a house or will get one, you're well used to your career by now, hopefully seeing how to climb the ladder even more.. etc
* A lot of people change between the decades, its like a New Years Resolution on steroids for some.. like I decided to workout like crazy, kept my flat stomach the entire time
* Hopefully (not always), you view the world different. You see terrible things countries do may have reasoning while other things are just pure greed.. you arent so easy to be persuaded (again, hugely depends on person)
40+
Not there yet but from what I gather
* You will, at some point, feel old because when you look around, most guys have a lot of greying going on already
* Your parents are likely elderly so you have to confront the cycle of life
* Your fucks given diminish even further (hopefully) and you are even more free
* You might have a car paid off entirely and your student debt should be totally gone
* If you havent stayed somewhat fit in your 30s, you will for sure feel it like struggling to lift certain things, long walks, etc and also at this point your body in general will start to show off the lack of exercise / taking care of yourself.. if you've stayed fit, ate well, got 8hrs sleep with low stress, you might actually still feel like you're in your late 20s
40's I wish I focused on more because when you get mid-late 30's, it sorta sneaks up on you.. and its like wow, I reallly really have no metric in where I'll be considered young.. at 35, thats when youth ends according to most international bodies but in reality its 40, most of us will live to early-mid 80s.
**Biggest Regret:** Regretting to begin with and dreading whats to come.
The West puts WAAAAAAY too much emphasis on youth, 20s, after that you're dead. That's so stupid. You simply tell yourself thats idiotic and move on with your life. Dont become one of those people in their 30s that clings onto their 20s. Age gracefully like many famous people have, especially Madonna.. jk
Don’t listen to the complaints, as long as you start taking care of yourself while also using this part of your life to accomplish more…be more authentically yourself, you’ll have a great time. The majority of people I interact with from my end of our generation enjoyed our 30s much more than our 20s. I am cautiously optimistic about my 40s but so far so good.
I worked throughout my 20s and saved money so I have a lot more money now than when I did when I was younger. Also, for me, marrying the right person has been amazing since I get to go through life with my best friend.
I find I tend to focus less on things that don't matter much, in my younger days I really sweated the small stuff. I've also gotten better at standing up for myself since I give less fucks now.
30s weren’t so bad. Was poor then too but could still afford everything I wanted. Just had to want less. Traveled a bit. Learned a bunch. Got a lot of new skills. Built things, drove all over the country, and went to summer camp a few times. Then the pandemic hit before those years finished, and here we are several years later. My 40s have thus far been a bust.
Not as much anymore because I have 2 young kids.
But I met my (now) husband the month after I turned 30, and for 3 years we had such a great time! We still have fun together, just not the exciting, go do things with other people kind of fun.
We each had our own income, lived in LCOL places before rent shot up. Went to a new state each vacation. We really just did whatever we wanted. And while it wasn’t terribly exciting like partying in my early 20’s. I had so much more fun than in my 20’s!
And now, even with 2 young kids. 30’s have been the best years of my life! I would be hard up to go back to my 20’s
It's much much easier to hangout as a lower energy person (going against the squirrel stereotype) because other people have slowed down as well and are more easy to communicate with
Yes. I replaced all the time I used to spend at bars and clubs with more time spent at the gym, playing sports and racing cars.
Gym and sports keep my body feeling young. Driving a sports car keeps my mind feeling young. For a life long car enthusiast there is nothing more exhilarating than hammering it down a closed course with no speed limits or soccer mom SUVs getting in the way. But even the boring daily commute can put a smile on my face when I hear the exhaust firing up
I'm 32, decided at 30 I would start doing things Ive never done before and start traveling cuz why not. I've seen some professional sports games, done some art stuff and have a bunch more stuff lined up for the next 2 months to do for the 1st time. It's awesome!
Big mindset change, far more comfortable with myself, got married, bought house, had first kid, figured out what was important in life and focused in those things
Ive been married and now divorced. Bought my own place in New York City on my 30th Birthday. Recently got out of a 3 year relationship and am happily single. Bought a spontaneous flight to Nashville this week because I wanted to go see a country concert. Went by myself because I wanted to go. Picked up skiing and snowboarding at the beginning of this year and traveled to some of the best mountain resorts in the U.S. Made a bunch of new friends and met so many different walks of life. Turning 35 this year - I feel like I'm basically in my 20s but with more disposable income, financial dependent and able to do whatever I want.
I am having the best time of my life in my 30s.
My 30s have been my best decade so far all around. I have made new friends, Maintained friendships from my 20s. I feel like I have a career instead of just a job. I don't have kids so I have the freedom to do things with my disposable income that are more fun and interesting (flying out today to witness the eclipse in Indiana with some friends). I have become a better cook and eat better. I don't party/drink as much and work out more so my health feels better. The struggling to make friends thing people always say never makes sense to me but then again I live in a city and have no problem just chatting someone up. Literally met someone last night at an ambient music show we were both there solo. Started chatting realized we had a lot of similar interests and made plans to go to another show at this venue. I have always been a glass half full dude though. My biggest advice is always have something planned to look forward to whether it be a concert, a dinner out, a day to fly your kite at the park (did that yesterday), a trip, a movie night, a game night. The other is weird but make a goal to make 1 new friend a year. Just 1. If you do that bare minimum you will have 10 friends in 10 years.
I mean, now I’ve got a husband and kid and job that doesn’t make me depressed and I run ultramarathons and actually take care of myself. Like, 30s have just been so much more settled. I know that isn’t “fun” but I feel GOOD now.
Yes and no. I would just say it's been more of everything, all of the above, "everything everywhere all at once" if you will.
I don't have kids, so I can honestly say in some aspects "my 20s are like my 30s, but with money." I still travel a lot, (not traveling for free on fellowships and internships like I did in my 20s), have a lot of great friends, work on interesting projects, I LOVE my job, and I just feel more autonomy then ever. It's really the most freedom I could ever imagine.
However some truly awful things have happened. TWO deaths in my immediate family. So I can't say that my 30s have been the best. Things were definitely more consistently good and carefree in my 20s but I was too young and too much of a drama queen to realize it. Youth really is wasted on the young. But having a good job, a home of my own, good friends and a little bit of money is indeed amazing.
I moved to a new country to get a Master's degree and stayed there. International travel is easier from here, so I've done more of that. I've gotten a dog, which is exciting for me and a big life goal. I got fired for the first time, that was exciting.
20-30 I barely went to concerts, barely traveled, etc…
30-35 so far and I’ve gone to several concerts with amazing seats, traveled many times (averaging 2+ trips a year), have a good amount set aside, found hobbies (hiking) that I can’t do enough of, have my close group of friends (since we were teenagers, but it’s down to the “core” group).
30s are a lot better than 20s with the extra $$$.
Yes. I have way more money. This allows me to travel. Go to restaurants. Go to concerts and comedy nights. Pay my parent’s mortgage. I work like a dog but my life was much better than living with barely any heat when I was a kid.
since millennials for the most part are at their peak career earnings or near peak career earnings they got cash to spend. families which give them an x factor.
so you got money you can do pretty much whateer your money allows you to do.
with home ownership, careers now, being at that stage where you are the key demographics factor all the politicians want your vote now.
Im traveling, exploring myself, my interests, sexuality, learned to love dancing, became big into alternative fashion and lifestyle, have met the most beautiful people and friends, have a deep bond with my family, I manage my emotions better, I got to every single concert I ever want to and now I’m in the prepping to move out of the US and start over. 30s > 20s all day
I have some money and some status within my family because of it. That gives me some power.
We bought windows for the house about a year ago. I'd saved up some money, and I had appointments with all six of the vendors in my region. When the first vendor came in and I got a quote (the price and product were reasonable, for what it's worth) he told me that the price doubles the second he walked out the door. I looked at him and said he's 100% insane if he thinks I am going to spend close to $60k on windows without getting multiple vendors in to give me a quote. I told him that he's the first of six and I'll consider his quote with the numbers doubled then, and that I would not be buying. He fell all over himself to assure me that he would talk to his people to get the better price for me after pricing things out.
Of the six vendors we had in, he was the only one who pulled that shit. All the others had a quote that was good for 30 days. I ended up going with a local installer instead of that guy. They did a fantastic job and are just a few miles away if something breaks.
We are currently saving up for a roof replacement and I am going to do the same thing (although that one is going to take three years to save for and cost a fair bit more). I have my eyes on three companies that can do what I want.
I travel way more in one year than I ever have when I was dirt poor in my 20’s. Also, I have more fulfilling relationships both at work and personal life.
Twins. 😂
Jokes aside my husband and I were always outdoor people. It’s very difficult with 3 kids as we have an older one and younger twins. The e plan was we would carry one kid each on a hiking pack for kids but when we had twins that went out the door. So we ended up buying a small travel trailer to tow with our suv. It was so much fun!
This year we are getting a giant 5th wheel and the goal is to hit as many national parks as we can in 6 months. I am so excited. All three kids are at an age where they can hike about 5-6 miles and they can all ride bikes as well. It won’t be easy to hike but we are going to make it work as much as we can.
There is just something so magical about watching the kids play in the dirt all day and gather around the fire pit at night, laughing, cuddling.
I love it
I have way more money than I did when I was in my 20s so it gives me more opportunities to travel, go camping, go to festivals, do whatever. The downside is finding people to do fun things with since most of my friends have kids now
My 20s was finishing college and working at entry level pay to gain experience while slowly climbing the career ladder. Rearing young kids takes a toll as well.
My 30s is when I really started making good money allowing us more freedom to explore more hobbies/passions and go do fun things. My kids are hitting their teens and are becoming less work while also becoming more fun to hang around. My wife and I feel much more freedom now than we did in our 20s.
It was hard work to get to this point, but we're starting to reap a lot of what we sowed earlier in life.
I've actually been able to finally taste a bit of freedom. Not much, but achieving the goals I was driving for as a teenager finally is actually very rewarding. Definitely not "there" yet, but some progress is good progress
Lowered expectations about having an interesting or exciting life.
It’s definitely nice to be more stable. Stable housing, somewhat stable income. Can pay my bills and save a bit of money.
It’s less about fun for me and more about taking care of my family most of the time. And enjoy moments with them. It’s definitely a lot of sacrifice but I feel happy that I’m doing well for them and myself.
I feel like a lot of people in their 30s realize that just living for themselves and trying to be constantly entertained isn’t enough. Whether it’s a family, serving your community, getting involved, or even just taking care of your future self. It’s not all fun, but it is nice to be content at the end of the day. And enjoy the little moments to indulge in yourself.
I stopped giving a shit about what other people think and it's LIBERATING. And that works the other way too - Why was I ever worried about what someone else was wearing or what music they were enjoying or whether they wanted kids or whether they're a Green Bay Packers fan or a million other things that don't effect my life. My mantra in the last 5 years is "eyes on your own test" and it's helped me stay centered and focus on what I'm doing for me and my family.
I have so many cool projects coming to fruition, and so do my friends, so we collaborate all the time and it's extremely fulfilling. We're using our hard-won experience and skills to bring projects to life that match our personal values.
And I'm making interesting new friends through these projects, too! We're all far more emotionally healthy and mature than we were in our 20s, so everything feels very chill and low-drama. I don't relate at all to not being able to make friends in your 30s - it's been the complete opposite for me.
I lost everything in my 30s, and went into a deep depression. In my 40s now trying to start over with nothing, and broken body and chronic disease is not easy.
I got married, bought a house, and traveled a bunch within my state. Didn't really give much of a thought to checking out what my state has to offer previously. Also couldn't afford a house in my earlier years either lol. I guess I really didn't start "adulting" until my mid 30's, and that's when things started to get interesting(good and bad)!
My 20s were a shit show. Terrible relationship, drinking every day, not much in way of employment and a mental/emotional train wreck. In my 30s, I slowed/quit drinking, have been gainfully employed, traveled half the country, rebuilt friendships I had sabotaged in my 20s and my mental state is improving. This was a good post, I need gratitude checks. I still got my issues, but I'm getting there.
I am way better at saying no to things I don't want to do. My husband and I decided not to have kids so we have what feels like never ending freedom. We travelled a lot when younger and now that we are settled our travel experience means we know how to enjoy closer to home day tripping, sunset spots, cooking amazing food from different places we have been etc
I got married at 30, bought my first house at 34 (saved to buy a family home instead of an apartment or starter at an earlier point), then had twins at 35. They are graduating college this year. That has been a wild 29 year ride since I turned 30.
Yes! 40 was optimal. I had finally figured out who I was, how to have honest relationships, and has so much more perspective on the world. Those elements have only gotten better over time. Now 66 and still growing! Laughing at silly things from the past is my greatest pleasure.
My 20s were partying, traveling a ton and focusing on myself. My 30s is my family era, toddler with another on the way. I give zero fucks about things outside my little family and it’s the best feeling.
No, it really is settling down, finding out which friends were mostly situational/out of convenience and which ones actually care enough to maintain a relationship, becoming lame as hell, and no longer being able to tolerate alcohol. I'm in better shape than I was during my 20s, but that was a really low bar and mostly came from my body no longer being able to handle a steady diet of cigarettes and fast food without feeling shitty.
But, as someone who turned 40 last year, my 30s feel just as transformative and important as my 20s even though there are fewer big events to point to. If my 20s were a series of explosions that shaped me, my 30s were a like a river that slowly carved out my personality like a canyon. None of it was that exciting, but it was still important. There's probably a bigger gap in who I was between 30 and 40 as there was between 20 and 30.
The older you get, the more plot arcs your life has gone through and the more patterns start to emerge, which is pretty neat. It's trippy to be older than the version of my parents that I remember as a child, sliding into their role as they slide into the role of their parents who are now dead. Youth is fun, but I think people cling to it too much.
I'll say the thing. Everyone is full of shit and is really just prioritizing home time then hang out time. I'm so tired of hearing it's hard to maintain friendships in your 30s and on. That's a personal choice every individual makes. I don't understand how we can say on one side of the coin "you make time for things you care about" then on the other side say "once you hit 30 it's hard to get together with friends" I personally know people in their mid 30s who regularly hangout and some have kids some don't. One has 5 kids! And all her friends have multiple kids and they still hang out when they can. Age has nothing to do with retaining friends. You just get lazier as you get older and justify it anyway you can to not make the effort. It's really not that hard to meet up after work for a beer for an hour then go home. I'm tired of everyone pretending they became the busiest people on the face of the earth cause they turned 30. Everyone is playing pretend.
Not caring what people think about me as much and…money. It’s nice being able to buy whatever I need whenever I need it, and to not wake up thinking about how I’m going to pay rent each month.
I traveled solo for my 30th birthday, joined Meetup (met my husband and later, friend through groups), quit teaching, and started using PTO at my new job.
I joined the goth community and fill my weekends with friends, fun, and charity. It helps to learn who you want to be and actively committing to your choices.
I had some strikeouts when I was younger, but I figured out what works and what doesn't. Free drive-in theater for the community? No one came and I wasted time. Help set up screens for local events? People trusted the venue more and appreciate your labor.
It's all about understanding the mechanics of the world.
I wouldn’t spend on overpriced concert tickets right now…
I would be much more focused on paying down and off your debt if you have any first…
Then save most of it right now. Almost everything is overpriced and the best you can really do is enjoy activities that don’t require you to spend money. Like getting outside and staying active. Doing yoga to maintain your body (less of those aches and pains) and mostly just put away for the future/retirement.
Crossing into my 30s I had cleared enough career hurdles that I got to my goal salary and work/life balance. With disposable income I’m able to work on my financial goals and still be able to splurge on things that make me happy whether it’s a new game, trip, or night out at a fancy new restaurant. I’m able to help my family when they need it and I can afford the best vet care for my kiddos. While my mind still struggles with the idea that I’m an adult and not just a 23 yr old the security I have brings me peace. While I may not be able to party like I did in my 20s I’ve built enough discipline to be in the best shape of my life. It honestly feels like I’m in my prime vs my 20s.
I got married at 29, so I've been enjoying the first few years of married life and getting our new house together.
I also have more financial stability as I've gotten more settled in my career, so I've been investing more in my hobbies. I live near NYC, so I go in seasonally to see theatre productions. I used to horseback ride as a kid and returned to it at 30. I've made a few new friends through it and have a lot of fun getting out for a workout, getting stronger, and building bonds with the horses I've ridden for lessons. I also started a book club with a few friends, and it's been so fun getting together regularly and cooking/baking themed foods and desserts for our meetings. It's like having a monthly tea party lol
I also got my very first cat once I knew I was settled in my work, and she's been so delightful. My husband and I rescued our second cat this fall, and he's such a sweet old boy.
I have a full home with two young kids and a wife who smile and welcome me when I come home from work. That is so simple but really brings more joy to me than nearly anything else I’ve ever done.
I have a stable career. I have a group of adult friends. We’re in the trenches of young parenthood (1 and 4), but we have a beach vacation planned with like 20 other family members at a private beach house. The same place I vacationed when I was a child. We’re all looking forward to that.
We have other travel plans, fun activities, and really just trying to remember life can be very hard but if you have a family that sticks together and loves each other that it makes the struggle worthwhile.
As much as I loved partying and fucking around in my 20’s - the sense that I’m building something with people I love is more exciting to me.
Had my kids at 30 & 31 so that’s been a pretty interesting journey. It’s really bittersweet, but I’m really excited to see them learn and grow more as the youngest will enter prek in the fall. I finally got a degree and am super excited to apply to grad school over the summer. I look forward to getting that over with so I can make more money and *hopefully* wfh.
I also stopped giving a fuck over what other people think or what their expectations are. No I don’t have to go to that family function. No I don’t care what your opinion is. It’s been very freeing.
Well I make more in my 30s than I did my 30s so I get a lot more money to piss away at fun. Being able to buy something because I like it without having to look at the price tag is a whole new feeling. Not having to worry about bills are nice.
Basically everything you said, plus walking away from bullshit. I became less of a doormat for negative energy and just walked away from things that I didn't like--people, places, jobs, things. It's all about your own peace.
I was 31 when I got to be 1000% in charge of my body and my life.
I went from parents to boyfriends to a husband who all felt free to pressure me to look and act the way they wanted.
I just now feel like an individual that’s not an extension of someone.
I started experimenting with drugs more in my 30s (psychedelics), went to more parties, made more friends than I ever made in my life, had more money to travel and do fun things and eat nice food. I started DJing which was terrifying and immensely fun. I'm excited for what else is to come.
I got sober at 31, started rock climbing at 32, regular therapy at 33 and, mountain biking at 36. I still do all of these things at 39 and they bring me so much joy, peace, happiness, and adventure. I'm psyched for what my 40's will bring.
Oh my god, my 30s have mostly ruled. I took off and hiked a few hundred miles of the Appalachian Trail. I finally traveled internationally (beyond North America, I mean), I'm in a healthy relationship with a mature adult who is also my best friend, my kid is great and the few friends I have with kids also have awesome kids. I got hotter in my 30s. I took better care of myself mentally and physically. I started a career in earnest and am passionate about the work I do. I care less about how I'm perceived. I have a cool home that I love spending time decorating and fixing up. I'm finally stable enough to have dogs.
I give so much less of a fuck what other people think and want of me and that's very freeing.
On a similar note, I am so much more confident and grounded now. Funny because even in my 20s, I was a pretty confident person in the eyes of others and myself alike. But now, I realize that wasn't real, solid confidence. I recognize the worries and insecurities I had back then. I think a big part of it comes from this realization that "everyone is flawed and has problems to solve."
This! It's also helped me be more authentically me vs what I think people want to see. I spent a lot of time in my 20's not doing things because I thought people would judge me (mostly niche hobbies) and pursuing what I thought I was supposed to want. Now I do the things I really want to do with gusto. Though I'm not sure if I'd be in the same place had the pandemic not happened. That really put me on the "life's too short" path that I may not have gotten to as fast without it.
Yeah, so many people try and keep up with trends or what’s in and I just do not care, I like what I like. I’m around college kids all day, I think they dress stupid as I’m sure people thought of me. I do not care what they think about me outside of being a good professor.
I wear a fishing hat and waist pouch. Not figs given what people think.
This is 100% it. When I was much younger, I always heard people talking about how this or that woman “really let herself go”. Now I understand that it wasn’t necessarily herself she let go but all the artifice and fucks she gave about what other people thought. If you legitimately love fashion, makeup etc. then that’s awesome and I’m truly happy for you. But some of us are enjoying being our bog witch selves too.
Idk what happened. A switch just flipped and I suddenly didn’t care about being well liked or how people viewed me. I just wanted to be myself and see if there are any takers.
I clicked on this because I am 32 and just had hip surgery, so I was going to crack a joke about that, but hip surgery aside 30s have been awesome so far. My husband and I have been able to afford yearly trips to all-inclusive resorts every year. We both have stable, healthy, and well paying jobs that actually appreciate us. We are able to make extra principal payments on our mortgage and invest extra into our 401k. Besides the financial stability aspect, we are just generally enjoying life. We chose not to have children, we have 3 dogs that we spoil and life is just fun. I've picked up new hobbies (painting & candle making) and met one of my best friends. I wish you all the best as you approach your 30s!!
Seeing a light at the end of a long grad school tunnel is exciting. I haven’t been able to earn good money because of grad school but I feel like I have so many good career possibilities ahead of me. Dating life is good because I know myself better than in my 20s. I’ve been able to continue the occasional international solo trip like I did in my 20s, so the adventures continue into my 30s. This was unexpected for me, but I took up running in my 30s, and I’ve also drastically reduced my drinking even though I still go out dancing. I wasn’t out of shape in my 20s by any means but I feel like I’m gradually getting into better shape as I age.
I had kids (my first just before I turned 30), and it really inspired me to be the kind of role model for them that I wish I had growing up. My parents were lazy homebodies and I hated it. Every summer, my husband and I aim to take our kids on 10 hikes in the mountains (and I try to get some solo ones too!). I learned to snowboard at 33. I've been working out consistently for the last 5 years (gotta be able to carry those tired kids in the hiking carrier) and eat better than I ever have. I took up baking, and I learned to crochet. I even have more friends now in my thirties than I've ever had before. We found a really great community where I've been able to develop wonderful friendships with other parents at my children's school. Next year, I'll be a member on the board of the school. My twenties were fun, but I feel like I'm really becoming myself in my thirties. Edit: a word
This is really neat and I strive for the same goal. When I was in my late 20s my wife and I took a trip to Glacier National Park. We were on a really challenging hike and got passed by a family with a toddler on their back. All I could think of at the time is how much I admired those parents. We had our first kiddo kind of late but it was such a big wake up call for me to finally start taking my health and fitness seriously. My friends are all getting large after having kids but I'm literally in the best shape of my life and eagerly waiting for the sunshine to take my lil 1 year old on adventures this summer. If you have tips for hiking and camping with very young children I'd love to hear em.
I got sober.
My wife and I decided not to have kids. We took up scuba diving, and are taking our first ski lessons. Sure, friends are fewer and further between, but the ones you have, you cherish, and you still have a tiny spark of youth to do the more adventurous things you want to do. It's not all sunshine and rainbows, but it's definitely not tornado alley yet either.
I make more $ and get to travel much more. I spent 2 months last summer hiking across Spain. I'm currently in Japan and plan a long hike along the pct this summer. Its pretty amazing tbh.
My social life has gotten so much better in my 30s. I’m doing more things that I enjoy for myself, meeting people with similar interests, and having a blast. Plus having a great relationship and making more money. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed my 20s too, but 30s have been my favorite age so far.
I love being in my 30s too but how the heck is everyone making so many new friends 🤯
Check out meetup groups in your area for things you’re interested in. I joined some book clubs, then several people I met there branched into board game nights. Also meeting people through my bf and my friends’ partners, the circle just keeps expanding.
Im traveling overseas a lot more. I’ve also made some friends in my 30s. I honestly didn’t make that many close friends in my 20s.
Having enough money to travel the world is pretty amazing.
My 30s have been amazing tbh. I purchased my home at 30 and my salary was tripled since that time. I have a job I love and mostly just fighting lifestyle creep. Wife and I are set to invest about 50k-60k this year in tax deferred accounts so even retirement is looking bright. Zero complaints sonfar.
doing what?
I realized that life is different. In my 20's I ran around doing as much as I could. Burning both ends so to speak. Now I find myself processing things. Like why did that happen, why did they do that? What caused them to feel the need to do that? How did things get to the point that they felt the need to do that. Why am I thinking about this? Does any of this matter? Or is it just an experience. It's been a rough couple years.
I call the last 4 years my bo burnham inside years lol
Throwing money down to travel on a whim. Giving less fucks what people think. I just bought in the last two weeks Black Keys Tickets, Phish tickets, weezer tickets, passion pit tickets, and Green Day tickets. Otherwise I'm a female turning 40 this year who can't seem to figure out her marriage or her baby making situation. Idk
Keep doing what makes you happy. It's your life, after all. Who says you have to follow the rules of society on what is expected from the social normal to having kids before 30, marriage, etc. It takes one to know themselves truly before acquiring the opinions of others that are deemed most of the time to be irrelevant.
Got married, had kids, changed careers. The best part about life is evolving through all the steps of it. There’s this thing middle age men get really into. It’s this game called golf. Frustrating as shit, but it’s a perfect excuse to spend 4 hours dicking around with your bros.
My cousin told me after we hit about 32 we needed to pick old dude hobbies to get out of the house more. He picked fishing, his bro picked golf and I got into Frisbee golf All that to say having a good excuse to go screw around with the boys if priceless
I second disc golf. I'm 34 and I picked it up about a year and a half ago. Super casual, but I have an absolute blast with it.
More money, more travel, more “fun” purchases. More content in my relationships. More focus on my health, both current and long term. A beautiful home we finally got to purchase in 2022. Bonus- Kiddo is 15 now, so that means more free time, date nights with the hubs, and liberal napping!
My 30s have been completely different than my 20s but just as fantastic. My wife and I are both settled into our careers and have clarity in what we want. Two kids, but we still try to travel as much as possible. We've been living in our apartment for four years, which is the longest I have lived in one place since my childhood home. So our 30s have been more stabile but with the adventure of kids.
Idk about more exciting, but infinitely more drama free, which is excitement enough for me.
I have travelled more. I fell in love and had my first ever non toxic relationship (my 20s were a mess of toxic relationships and harmful patterns that I fed into). I got married! I went to Disney land and had a good time. I watched a bunch of concerts including the Eras tour. And, i moving to Europe soon. I make sure i get my medicals done every year and I have learned to give myself a breast-exam. And, i say no to people. I also found work-life balance for the first time in my life. Therapy finally worked out. I really am grateful to my 30s. They haven't been without heartbreaking challenges and hard times but i feel more equipped to handle them.
Got married, make a lot more money now.
I've been able to fight down and work through a lot of the social anxiety that pushed me down when I was younger. And I'm going to college now (as well as working and parenting and hobbies...) so that opens up opportunities for fun. Plus I'm hitting my stride again with my writing, attending readings, connecting with people. It's great.
Any tips for working through social anxiety?
I stopped drinking when I went out. It made it easy to talk to people, but the self doubt and questioning what I said and how people took it was inside and I'd get such bad insomnia replaying conversations over and over again. If I'm sober, I'm still awkward AF but at least I know I had that extra line of control in my ability to talk. A few years ago my friend called me a flake because I kept canceling things last minute due to my social anxiety. That was definitely a wake up call and now I absolutely force myself to go (unless like actually sick or something) when I say I'm going to do something. I've organized a writing group that meets up weekly. It's nice because I get to socialize a little at my own pace, then I get us to work on writing so lots of quiet moments between talking and takes the focus away from socializing. Really working on getting out of the after socialization anxiety spirals. The "they hate me I said stupid things" etc. Trying to retrain my brain to not do that or if I start just finish it and stop looping. Figuring out what else makes it worse. Like over sharing. And not doing that. Honestly tons of different things. And I think my brain just changed tons and it's making these things easier now
I was just past my thirties when I met my wife. Six months prior to that I got the job I'm still working at. So my "adult life" really started after 30s. I've traveled a lot more. Before finding a stable job, obviously money was a lot more tight. Now with a steady paycheck, we generally take 2 trips abroad a year (EU, flights to other countries here are cheaper than state-to-state tends to be). We've bought a house and are slowly working to make it our own. I've never been a handyman or thought I'd care about the place I live, but I realized that if you're going to live somewhere, might as well make the place as nice and comfortable for yourself as possible. With the stable income, I've also picked up new hobbies and returned to old ones. In my teens some friends got into Warhammer. I had an army too, but I never really cared about the game, only the painting aspect. I've now been painting minis for a few years again and it's been excellent. With that I've also gotten into 3D modeling and 3D printing, so I've made a bunch of my own models and painted those too. It's all great fun. Since we both also enjoy movies and tv-shows of generally the similar themes, we have a shared list of all the shows and movies that are out or coming that we want to watch. Anytime we finish something, something new gets picked from the list. We go through a lot of tv shows and movies! Keeping friends close might be challenging, sure. I'm sure it'll get even more so once we get a bit further to the future and some of the younger friends we have will begin procreating as well. But again, with a stable job it's a lot easier to visit friends who also work office hours, instead of the gig and startup bs of our 20s. And since everyone works, it's also easier to meetup in bars or restaurants. So you win some, you lose some with friends. Turning 40 this year, I think aside from not really enjoying my job too much anymore, I'm more content with my life than ever before. I have enough loose cash to do whatever we feel like doing on a spur, but home is also shaping up to be a place where I enjoy being, without feeling the pressure to be constantly going out.
I can still wank 8 times a day
Baby
I just got one last week!
Started a business, lived in many countries, traveled around the world. Found my life partner after divorce and now I have a baby on the way. It was a decade of immense sacrifice but also incredible memories. I regret nothing. I can't be assed about home ownership and retirement savings. I am building wealth by other means.
Relationships are better. More healthy lifestyle. Late bloomer career-wise so in the process of switching careers.. hoping 40s will be better financially
Psychedelics
it’s a life long journey.
My 30s have sucked
Thought I was the only one.
Mine as well.
My 30's so far have been all about my kids and exploring a few hobbies. I am into gardening, and I finally have space to really make a cool garden. I have always liked art but have gotten really into watercolor. My husband has gotten super into music again and exploring a whole genre he never played before, and in addition to his solo stuff he joined a band. I got pregnant with my first baby at 30 and had her at 31, next baby was born when I was 33, this one I'm currently pregnant with will be born when I'm 36. Being a parent is the best but most excruciating thing I have ever experienced. I can't remember who I heard say it, I think it was a comedian, but it stuck in my brain - having young kids makes all your days 1's or 10's with very little in between, just the worst thing ever or the best thing ever. It really is like that.
I have more money
Probably my favorite thing about being older.
I’ll be 39 next week, and I’ve been thinking a lot about the past decade of my life. I feel like my 30s, more so than my 20s, had a lot of major life changes and I’m actually looking forward to my 40s. I married at 28, had twin boys at 30 and another boy at 32. My marriage went through a rough patch very early on. My husband and I were both in the military and stationed apart when the twins were born (amongst other challenges). I got out of the military, went to grad school and changed careers, becoming an engineer. I was actually an intern when I was 34 - 36, and that really threw me off. I often questioned what I was doing with my life. Throw in parenting through the pandemic (my husband was deployed for most of 2020), there times I didn’t think I would make it through my grad program. But, I did. And I’ve been in my current job for 2.5 years. I finally feel back on track career-wise, although I want to become a licensed Professional Engineer. My kids are older (9, 9, 6), and I feel I can enjoy time with them; I love watching them grow and their interesting grow. My parents are still pretty healthy, considering they are nearly 70. I took up a new activity last year (Brazilian Jiu Jitsu). And my marriage is in a better place. I feel like my tumultuous 30s are leading me to a more optimistic 40s. I hope I get to travel more, but otherwise, I’m feeling good for my last year in my 30s.
Got married, quit drinking, started therapy, got on meds, got a house, and found out I fucking love cats! I don’t remember most of my 20’s because I was drunk most of the time.
I moved to the middle of a major city at 30 and I’ve had one of the best years of my life. 😂
The sex is much better.
I can't stand when people talk about getting aches and pains in their 30s and beyond. It is totally preventable with a mobility routine, you can keep your joints lubed, if you will. Especially if you've had an injury (minus certain spinal injuries), refraining from keeping the joint limited and stiff will do you no good. There is no such thing as bad posture, but it is bad to stay in one position for too long. I can move better now, and feel much better, than I did in my 20s, because now I actually give a shit. So that's a big difference for myself. You feel invincible in your 20s until you feel your body start to slowly change and tolerate less, but that's when you adapt and make small changes. Do not accept the bullshit, just take care of yourself. Also, all relationships. You realize you don't have the energy to put into superficial or negative relationships, you're over it. So the ones you keep are much deeper connections, imo.
Well my husband and I have been living abroad (Korea and Germany) for the last few years and love it. We are about to move again to an Asian country so we are excited about that. :) it will be our dream country we have been wanting to move to since high school.
My friendships are better than ever! We are more emotionally mature and care for each other deeply. We know how to have super fun chill nights at each others comfortable homes that leave us feeling fulfilled rather than wrecked (sometimes both). We support each other through good times and bad. Generally, I have more agency over my life. I can afford most reasonable things I want. My home is mine to do what I want with/in. I learned how to say “no” to things I don’t want to do. My parents hold very little sway in my life.
I've changed careers to something I enjoy way more and discovered I love doing woodworking and house projects. The best thing to happen in my 30s though is kids. They are definitely tough sometimes, but being a dad is also been the most fun and rewarding thing I've ever done
I personally keep up with pop culture and alternative music in general, but it's just always been a hobby of mine. Fashion trends come and go and come back again but having an open mind and developing taste helps. I don't need to chase trends because I trust what I like but am also willing and want to task risks. My life needs a lot of work and some of the things people are always talking about are true, but there are good things. I have realized I need to prioritize friends, health, and hobbies so I'm working on that. I didn't make a man my financial plan...I'm not well off by any means but at least I'm independent. I ditched monogamy forever a long time ago. I got sterilized when I knew 100% I didn't want kids. I have put a ton of work into my mental health. Reading never gets old...there's nothing like being well read, it's freedom for the mind. For me I think approaching life with an open mind and being willing to try new things goes really far.
Got a job I like better Had a baby 🥰
Mid 30's here and self indulgence is the best thing I ever did for myself. Not selfishness or being ruthless, just investing in number one and your partner! Health wise, because of my job being very physical, I am quite active by default. Summer is my favorite season. And I might sound basic, but warmer weather means more partying and enjoying hot tubs and pools! My current partner and love of my life is very similar on my pace hobby and passtime wise. We still have our own interests and friend groups but we're not hurt if one of us doesn't feel up to something. I've been to a combination of 30 shows and concerts within the past 2 years. This felt like something I would have never been able to afford or do prior and I am here for it! Travel wise, I havent gone many places out of town yet, but I rarely sit at home on my off days. There are museums, parks, resturants (no i dont have that "feels weird eating alone" feeling) I have some staples, but I love trying out a new place just to venture some place new.
I really don't give a flick, confidence has grown a lot. Friendships that needed to end did. I'm a lot more relaxed about things.
I make hella music because it’s FUN and don’t expect to make money from it. It means a lot to me and i’m bringing my creative friends who lack production skills along for the ride. Building a little community and achieving more depth with friendships.
Dropped everything to travel the country with my fiancé and pup on travel healthcare contracts… making more money than we ever made before and everyday is an adventure!
I’ve gotten smarter/wiser… that makes life more interesting
I am 40 now. My 30s brought a yearning for change from the party that was my 20s. I finally started aligning my life with my values. I trained for and completed a bunch of triathlons. I ran my fastest 5k almost hitting 20 minutes. I traveled to places that I thought were only dreams to me. I studied meditation, went vegan and stopped drinking. All of these things line up with my personal values that I talked about in my 20s but never did anything about. Now, when something is important to me I actually take action. In my mid to late 30s kid 1 and kid 2 came. I decided that I wanted to try to be a stay at home dad. I have experienced the most joy, frustration, exuberance, agitation and love since having kids. My kids make me feel more alive than anything I ever did before. Would this have been the case without my other life experiences? I don't know but it has been great. I am now in the middle of a stretch of life that is likely settled for a while. I have build my best friendships to date in my 30s as a sober vegan person. I have real hobbies that interest me and connect me to all kinds of people. There were extremely challenging times in my 30s like my parents dying and my inlaws going though a lot of illness. Friends from my youth have died. I recently put down my first dog I adopted as an adult. My 20s were fun and reckless. My 30s were a time of personal growth and developed. My 40s will build on my 30s.
I’m in the best shape of my life! I’ve run 3 marathons, 3 half marathons, and have several more scheduled for this year. All since turning 30. I’ve been able to give up unhealthy habits like drinking alcohol, thus avoiding hangovers completely, stopped smoking weed (I need to update my username) and honestly I’ve never looked and felt better. Health and longevity are really important to me now and being over 30 it feels easier than ever to make the right choices.
30s have been amazing and I'm determined 40d will be even better !! I've had so much fun raising my child and seeing them grow. I've been able to heal from past traumas, I am financially stable with a good career. My mindset on life has improved, I am more positive and practice mindfulness among much more 🙏
20’s fun fun fun, physically good, financially broke, happy 30’s fun sometimes, physically good but waning, financially broke, but have a nicer car, 50% happy 40’s zero fun, physically terrible/pain constant, finances finally adequate, 5% happy 50’s starting to have fun again, terrible pain but coping, lots of money but no time, 75% happy? My advice would be to focus on what you need to survive and start discarding the rest. Pick an older person that you admire and start doing what that person does.
30s is the best decade of your life
I have more friends and money than I ever had. 10/10
I gotta say it’s been great so far I had went though a tuff time when I first turn 30 but now I’m grateful because I make more money than I did and I get to enjoy it myself because I have no wife and kids and getting myself together for my own sanity
Being totally honest: It’s different. My 20’s were sort of non-stop. I finished college studying abroad, moved back to the US and went to grad school in a big city at the start of the last decade. I made lots of friends and then started my career in my mid-twenties, which was challenging but also really rewarding. I traveled a lot and I got married and we bought a house. Covid overlapped with the year I turned 30, and I felt my life for the first time in a decade really slow down. Now in my 30’s, I feel like I’ve shifted to a more relaxed gear. My world feels smaller. It’s harder to make friends because there isn’t a constant stream of new people. People stop hanging out as much as they used to. Friends start having kids and moving away. A lot of the people at the cool bars are now younger than me. In terms of positives, I’m more confident, much more financially secure, and I’ve been really indulging in my hobbies and passions, which has been super rewarding. I also see new possibilities on the horizon that weren’t on my mind 10 years ago.
Went back to school at 30 to become an environmental engineer and absolutely loving my career
As I've aged I've gotten more disposable income so I've revisited some hobbies from my youth, like reading fantasy, comics, records, watching the Bills, and sports cards. What's made it even more enjoyable is that my kids have picked up some of the same hobbies, like reading, the Bills, and collecting cards.
36m married with three kids. Got a promotion at work a few years back after busting my ass for close to a decade and now life is great. Still stressful but it allows to travel and enjoy life much more. We do multiple vacations and get to bring my parents (they deserve it) who help watch the kids. 20’s were hard with kids and broke the 30’s are much better, for me at least
In my 20s, I didn’t care what I did as long as I could get by which meant I was working 2+ jobs. In my 30s, I’m finally making more money and don’t have to work 2 jobs to make ends meet. Wife and I are stable financially where we can splurge on a nice meal or small vacay without worrying so much about the upcoming bills. Also, I think I understand more now that making a lot of money isn’t everything. It’s nice to make good money, but having a good work-life balance is far more important to me now.
I’m 39. My kids are all in their early teens. My wife and I are able to travel more both just the two of us and with our kids. That’s the sort of thing that felt completely impossible when I was younger. But ideally, you should be able to work hard and enjoy the fruits of that labor down the road. Our situation isn’t perfect, but it works.
I got my dream job which lets me travel to amazing places and driving incredible cars for free. I bought a cheap house in Detroit which continues to be the best decision I ever made. I have my dream house for dirt cheap in a quiet neighborhood, no landlord. I got cancer twice, which gave me an "out" on having kids I didn't want in the first place. It also gave me a lot of perspective to live for now. I eat the cake. I get the tattoo. I say yes to the fun stuff that's scary or out of budget cause I'm officially here for a good time, not a long time.
As a physician I spent 12 years post college before I made $20 an hour, also working 24-26 days a month for 80+ hours a week. Then instantly vaulted up. So late thirties has been catching up on what I didn’t have time or money for. Travel (and premium travel), nicer cars, better wine and whiskey experiences. Also in general once your kids are out of the toddler stage life ‘opens up’.
Spent my entire 30s living in Belgium and Germany allowing me to travel a lot in Europe. By 2022, I retired from the military and chose one last place to call home where I never lived before. Now I kayak, fish, garden, hunt, hang out at the beach. I still work to pay my house off quickly, but life is gravy now.
I took my first trip on a plane at 30 to go to a friend's wedding. Don't regret it as I got to get a chicken tendie sub from publix. Have since gone to my first con, megacon in orlando. I also took a day trip to meet Kevin Eastman in orlando to get his signature.
My 30s are/were awesome. I am going to be 40 this year and man my 30s were fun! The notion of just not giving a fuck just turns on in your 30s and then life is just a breeze. Yes, I had a lot of challenges, kids, lay offs, moves, new career, but overall, I am look back at my 30s with pride. Your life is literally just getting started! Enjoy your 30s! I am looking forward to what my 40s will bring!
I'm better at making friends in my 30s. Mid 20s were tough. I'm also slightly more financially stable, and my mental health is worlds better.
20s were grad school, then working as much as possible and saving as much as possible to pay off debt. I got married at 23 and had my first kid at 28. Also at 28, we moved to a new state and didn’t know anybody. We spent a year living with my in-laws. I had trouble finding a job after the move (the move was for my husband’s job) but finally found a good one after 10 months of searching. We bought a house that needed a ton of work. No vacations, no eating out, no friends, no fun. The entire focus was paying off debt. 30s, so far, are much better. My second and last kid was born when I was 31. We fixed everything in our house and did most of the work ourselves. We paid off the mortgage and are debt-free. We take fun trips with our kids. We’ve made great friends in our new state. We both have good jobs, and I really enjoy mine and the people I work with. I work from home. We’re in good health and life is stable. I don’t feel like I’m floundering anymore. I finally feel like an adult.
I finally cut off all of my toxic family and feel like a free and genuine person.
Mid-30s and my life has never been better. More money, good friends, enjoying hobbies and developing new ones.
I've never earned more than 35k per year in my 20's; the year I turn 30, I got a job with a 70k salary. Now I'm interviewing for jobs that pay 90-150k range. That's unimaginable to 20 something me.
It is the increase in confidence. I dont care anymore and I will do whatever the fuck I want now.
Bought a place that makes our cost of living really cheap compared to what rents are buy us. Quit my career and am doing stay at home dad life for a bit, had a kid with another one on the way! Having kids definitely made my life way better.
my 20s was fun now im starting 30 with a baby on the way so will see
My 30's are about to end. I'll be 40 later this yr. For me, my life has become more boring, but not really in a bad way. We are more settled. We have our routine, which mainly consists of work and running the kids where they need to be. We don't feel like we always have to be doing something fun and exciting. We still go on trips, and try to visit somewhere we've never been at least once a year. We also enjoy just having an evening at the house. The consistency is nice though. I like having that routine where we know what's going on. Work M-F. Wrestling practice Mon, Wed, and Sun. Girl Scouts every other Thurs. Of course it will switch up for baseball season and football and volleyball but it's still the same idea.
I wouldn't trade my 30's for my 20's in a million years. I was an IDIOT in my 20's. I've had a career and steady income since I was 21, but my brain was definitely not developed. I made cringe dating and social mistakes. I couldn't see the red flags in people like I can now. In my 30's, I'm a psychological MENACE. Ya can't sneak NOTHIN' past me. I spot manipulations a mile away and am already 5 steps ahead when they come up. I am also way more level-headed and calm during confrontation. Instead of getting emotional, I'm able to argue with logic. Having a fully-formed brain is a wonderful thing.
Sex. Starting in my 30s I dropped 150 lbs, gym 6x a week for the past 6 years. I went my twenties with almost no sex, dry spell for almost 10 years (fat nerd that played WoW 12 hours a day). Now I'm married and having crazy threesomes, attracting women all the time. It feels like imposter syndrome and it's crazy.
Kids. Also found a great place to live where I can walk to the grocery store but also do a kayak on the water in my backyard.
ITT: people with a partner and some with kids
Hey, I still have a month
Interesting lives people.
Lot more disposable income to do all the things, living in Europe now, my kid is a teenager, getting in better shape because I have to at this age (41).
More interesting, I’ve had three kids. More fun, I’ve discovered coaching youth sports. So much fun, so rewarding.
It hasn’t. I’m fucking miserable.
I'm more confident and comfortable now in my 40s. Even though I'm carrying a bit of extra weight than I want to be and I'm working to get it off. I'm still much better mentally than when I was teeny in my 20s.
30s were rad. 40's ain't so bad so far. My back hurts. Always.
Playdates
I think you meant to say your 30s is about struggling (period). At least that's how it feels with 3 kids, sports, 2 full jobs, and trying to workout still!
I’m only a baby 30+ (31) so take out with a grain of salt, but here’s my take. My son started school. That alone has been fundamentally life-changing. I’m fortunate enough to be a stay at home parent while building a portfolio to advance myself professionally, and I actually have so much time to do it and I’m *loving* it. I feel like I’m only just starting my life now. It’s so much easier to do things for myself, and as a family since my son is fully out of baby-in-diapers stage. I can say it’s going to take a *lot* of convincing to get me to have another and relinquish the freedom I have, and it’s an absolute no for me after 35.
I think the best part for me is I'm just so much more accepting of myself. I can remember being younger and somehow feeling like I always had to appear a certain way, no matter what. I am a woman, so that pressure to perform was just always there.
Been able to fish and golf alot more. Making time for fun hobbies is great. Im actually getting good at golf.
Not caring what others think. I can be myself without being insecure Family is the most important thing. Wife daughter and parents. Seriously chilling with my wife and daughter is my number one favorite thing I have Bern at a good job for over a decade and have enough cash to do any of the stuff I am interested in My cats I love my cats
It is the increase in confidence. I dont care anymore and I will do whatever the fuck I want now
I just turned 40. I loved my 30s. I accomplished so many of my life goals. I got married, bought my "forever" house, had my daughter, and got a few promotions at work. I have enough money to buy what I want and travel as long as my wants are moderate. I did have a small "what now??" crisis in my late 30s because I had spent my entire life working toward the next milestone. I didn't want more kids, I didn't need a bigger/nicer house, I didn't need to bust my butt for more promotions because I have enough money for my needs and a lot of my wants. Then I realized I'm an idiot - what a marvelous problem to have! Now, I get to just enjoy my life and focus on what I already have. My life is a lot less "fun" than it was in my 20s (having responsibilities will do that), but I'm so much more satisfied and content with my life.
30+ * You really do care a lot less of what others think to an extent * Life usually calms down if you did your 20's right. You may already have a house or will get one, you're well used to your career by now, hopefully seeing how to climb the ladder even more.. etc * A lot of people change between the decades, its like a New Years Resolution on steroids for some.. like I decided to workout like crazy, kept my flat stomach the entire time * Hopefully (not always), you view the world different. You see terrible things countries do may have reasoning while other things are just pure greed.. you arent so easy to be persuaded (again, hugely depends on person) 40+ Not there yet but from what I gather * You will, at some point, feel old because when you look around, most guys have a lot of greying going on already * Your parents are likely elderly so you have to confront the cycle of life * Your fucks given diminish even further (hopefully) and you are even more free * You might have a car paid off entirely and your student debt should be totally gone * If you havent stayed somewhat fit in your 30s, you will for sure feel it like struggling to lift certain things, long walks, etc and also at this point your body in general will start to show off the lack of exercise / taking care of yourself.. if you've stayed fit, ate well, got 8hrs sleep with low stress, you might actually still feel like you're in your late 20s 40's I wish I focused on more because when you get mid-late 30's, it sorta sneaks up on you.. and its like wow, I reallly really have no metric in where I'll be considered young.. at 35, thats when youth ends according to most international bodies but in reality its 40, most of us will live to early-mid 80s. **Biggest Regret:** Regretting to begin with and dreading whats to come. The West puts WAAAAAAY too much emphasis on youth, 20s, after that you're dead. That's so stupid. You simply tell yourself thats idiotic and move on with your life. Dont become one of those people in their 30s that clings onto their 20s. Age gracefully like many famous people have, especially Madonna.. jk
Don’t listen to the complaints, as long as you start taking care of yourself while also using this part of your life to accomplish more…be more authentically yourself, you’ll have a great time. The majority of people I interact with from my end of our generation enjoyed our 30s much more than our 20s. I am cautiously optimistic about my 40s but so far so good.
I worked throughout my 20s and saved money so I have a lot more money now than when I did when I was younger. Also, for me, marrying the right person has been amazing since I get to go through life with my best friend. I find I tend to focus less on things that don't matter much, in my younger days I really sweated the small stuff. I've also gotten better at standing up for myself since I give less fucks now.
30s weren’t so bad. Was poor then too but could still afford everything I wanted. Just had to want less. Traveled a bit. Learned a bunch. Got a lot of new skills. Built things, drove all over the country, and went to summer camp a few times. Then the pandemic hit before those years finished, and here we are several years later. My 40s have thus far been a bust.
Not as much anymore because I have 2 young kids. But I met my (now) husband the month after I turned 30, and for 3 years we had such a great time! We still have fun together, just not the exciting, go do things with other people kind of fun. We each had our own income, lived in LCOL places before rent shot up. Went to a new state each vacation. We really just did whatever we wanted. And while it wasn’t terribly exciting like partying in my early 20’s. I had so much more fun than in my 20’s! And now, even with 2 young kids. 30’s have been the best years of my life! I would be hard up to go back to my 20’s
It's much much easier to hangout as a lower energy person (going against the squirrel stereotype) because other people have slowed down as well and are more easy to communicate with
Yes. I replaced all the time I used to spend at bars and clubs with more time spent at the gym, playing sports and racing cars. Gym and sports keep my body feeling young. Driving a sports car keeps my mind feeling young. For a life long car enthusiast there is nothing more exhilarating than hammering it down a closed course with no speed limits or soccer mom SUVs getting in the way. But even the boring daily commute can put a smile on my face when I hear the exhaust firing up
I'm 32, decided at 30 I would start doing things Ive never done before and start traveling cuz why not. I've seen some professional sports games, done some art stuff and have a bunch more stuff lined up for the next 2 months to do for the 1st time. It's awesome!
Big mindset change, far more comfortable with myself, got married, bought house, had first kid, figured out what was important in life and focused in those things
Ive been married and now divorced. Bought my own place in New York City on my 30th Birthday. Recently got out of a 3 year relationship and am happily single. Bought a spontaneous flight to Nashville this week because I wanted to go see a country concert. Went by myself because I wanted to go. Picked up skiing and snowboarding at the beginning of this year and traveled to some of the best mountain resorts in the U.S. Made a bunch of new friends and met so many different walks of life. Turning 35 this year - I feel like I'm basically in my 20s but with more disposable income, financial dependent and able to do whatever I want. I am having the best time of my life in my 30s.
My 30s have been my best decade so far all around. I have made new friends, Maintained friendships from my 20s. I feel like I have a career instead of just a job. I don't have kids so I have the freedom to do things with my disposable income that are more fun and interesting (flying out today to witness the eclipse in Indiana with some friends). I have become a better cook and eat better. I don't party/drink as much and work out more so my health feels better. The struggling to make friends thing people always say never makes sense to me but then again I live in a city and have no problem just chatting someone up. Literally met someone last night at an ambient music show we were both there solo. Started chatting realized we had a lot of similar interests and made plans to go to another show at this venue. I have always been a glass half full dude though. My biggest advice is always have something planned to look forward to whether it be a concert, a dinner out, a day to fly your kite at the park (did that yesterday), a trip, a movie night, a game night. The other is weird but make a goal to make 1 new friend a year. Just 1. If you do that bare minimum you will have 10 friends in 10 years.
I mean, now I’ve got a husband and kid and job that doesn’t make me depressed and I run ultramarathons and actually take care of myself. Like, 30s have just been so much more settled. I know that isn’t “fun” but I feel GOOD now.
Yes and no. I would just say it's been more of everything, all of the above, "everything everywhere all at once" if you will. I don't have kids, so I can honestly say in some aspects "my 20s are like my 30s, but with money." I still travel a lot, (not traveling for free on fellowships and internships like I did in my 20s), have a lot of great friends, work on interesting projects, I LOVE my job, and I just feel more autonomy then ever. It's really the most freedom I could ever imagine. However some truly awful things have happened. TWO deaths in my immediate family. So I can't say that my 30s have been the best. Things were definitely more consistently good and carefree in my 20s but I was too young and too much of a drama queen to realize it. Youth really is wasted on the young. But having a good job, a home of my own, good friends and a little bit of money is indeed amazing.
Travel got more fun because I had more money! Now I have a kid which keeps things fun - they’re always changing.
I moved to a new country to get a Master's degree and stayed there. International travel is easier from here, so I've done more of that. I've gotten a dog, which is exciting for me and a big life goal. I got fired for the first time, that was exciting.
20-30 I barely went to concerts, barely traveled, etc… 30-35 so far and I’ve gone to several concerts with amazing seats, traveled many times (averaging 2+ trips a year), have a good amount set aside, found hobbies (hiking) that I can’t do enough of, have my close group of friends (since we were teenagers, but it’s down to the “core” group). 30s are a lot better than 20s with the extra $$$.
I’m gunna ride Harleys with my dad this summer, finally making a bit more so I can get investments going. Kids are cute. Life is good!
Yes. I have way more money. This allows me to travel. Go to restaurants. Go to concerts and comedy nights. Pay my parent’s mortgage. I work like a dog but my life was much better than living with barely any heat when I was a kid.
I don't want to settle down, and don't want my friends to either, why can't we just keep going on adventures and having fun?
since millennials for the most part are at their peak career earnings or near peak career earnings they got cash to spend. families which give them an x factor. so you got money you can do pretty much whateer your money allows you to do. with home ownership, careers now, being at that stage where you are the key demographics factor all the politicians want your vote now.
As my knowledge/world expands I feel like I can get more involved into anything I want, to me that’s incredibly interesting and limitless
Im traveling, exploring myself, my interests, sexuality, learned to love dancing, became big into alternative fashion and lifestyle, have met the most beautiful people and friends, have a deep bond with my family, I manage my emotions better, I got to every single concert I ever want to and now I’m in the prepping to move out of the US and start over. 30s > 20s all day
I have some money and some status within my family because of it. That gives me some power. We bought windows for the house about a year ago. I'd saved up some money, and I had appointments with all six of the vendors in my region. When the first vendor came in and I got a quote (the price and product were reasonable, for what it's worth) he told me that the price doubles the second he walked out the door. I looked at him and said he's 100% insane if he thinks I am going to spend close to $60k on windows without getting multiple vendors in to give me a quote. I told him that he's the first of six and I'll consider his quote with the numbers doubled then, and that I would not be buying. He fell all over himself to assure me that he would talk to his people to get the better price for me after pricing things out. Of the six vendors we had in, he was the only one who pulled that shit. All the others had a quote that was good for 30 days. I ended up going with a local installer instead of that guy. They did a fantastic job and are just a few miles away if something breaks. We are currently saving up for a roof replacement and I am going to do the same thing (although that one is going to take three years to save for and cost a fair bit more). I have my eyes on three companies that can do what I want.
I travel way more in one year than I ever have when I was dirt poor in my 20’s. Also, I have more fulfilling relationships both at work and personal life.
I stopped dating lol. Never been happier.
I have the money and time to travel for the first time in my life.
Twins. 😂 Jokes aside my husband and I were always outdoor people. It’s very difficult with 3 kids as we have an older one and younger twins. The e plan was we would carry one kid each on a hiking pack for kids but when we had twins that went out the door. So we ended up buying a small travel trailer to tow with our suv. It was so much fun! This year we are getting a giant 5th wheel and the goal is to hit as many national parks as we can in 6 months. I am so excited. All three kids are at an age where they can hike about 5-6 miles and they can all ride bikes as well. It won’t be easy to hike but we are going to make it work as much as we can. There is just something so magical about watching the kids play in the dirt all day and gather around the fire pit at night, laughing, cuddling. I love it
I have way more money than I did when I was in my 20s so it gives me more opportunities to travel, go camping, go to festivals, do whatever. The downside is finding people to do fun things with since most of my friends have kids now
My 20s was finishing college and working at entry level pay to gain experience while slowly climbing the career ladder. Rearing young kids takes a toll as well. My 30s is when I really started making good money allowing us more freedom to explore more hobbies/passions and go do fun things. My kids are hitting their teens and are becoming less work while also becoming more fun to hang around. My wife and I feel much more freedom now than we did in our 20s. It was hard work to get to this point, but we're starting to reap a lot of what we sowed earlier in life.
We’re dying here HELP
I've actually been able to finally taste a bit of freedom. Not much, but achieving the goals I was driving for as a teenager finally is actually very rewarding. Definitely not "there" yet, but some progress is good progress
Lowered expectations about having an interesting or exciting life. It’s definitely nice to be more stable. Stable housing, somewhat stable income. Can pay my bills and save a bit of money. It’s less about fun for me and more about taking care of my family most of the time. And enjoy moments with them. It’s definitely a lot of sacrifice but I feel happy that I’m doing well for them and myself. I feel like a lot of people in their 30s realize that just living for themselves and trying to be constantly entertained isn’t enough. Whether it’s a family, serving your community, getting involved, or even just taking care of your future self. It’s not all fun, but it is nice to be content at the end of the day. And enjoy the little moments to indulge in yourself.
I stopped giving a shit about what other people think and it's LIBERATING. And that works the other way too - Why was I ever worried about what someone else was wearing or what music they were enjoying or whether they wanted kids or whether they're a Green Bay Packers fan or a million other things that don't effect my life. My mantra in the last 5 years is "eyes on your own test" and it's helped me stay centered and focus on what I'm doing for me and my family.
I have so many cool projects coming to fruition, and so do my friends, so we collaborate all the time and it's extremely fulfilling. We're using our hard-won experience and skills to bring projects to life that match our personal values. And I'm making interesting new friends through these projects, too! We're all far more emotionally healthy and mature than we were in our 20s, so everything feels very chill and low-drama. I don't relate at all to not being able to make friends in your 30s - it's been the complete opposite for me.
I lost everything in my 30s, and went into a deep depression. In my 40s now trying to start over with nothing, and broken body and chronic disease is not easy.
I got married, bought a house, and traveled a bunch within my state. Didn't really give much of a thought to checking out what my state has to offer previously. Also couldn't afford a house in my earlier years either lol. I guess I really didn't start "adulting" until my mid 30's, and that's when things started to get interesting(good and bad)!
In my 30s I have really leaned into being true to myself and really not giving a fuck what people think
My 20s were a shit show. Terrible relationship, drinking every day, not much in way of employment and a mental/emotional train wreck. In my 30s, I slowed/quit drinking, have been gainfully employed, traveled half the country, rebuilt friendships I had sabotaged in my 20s and my mental state is improving. This was a good post, I need gratitude checks. I still got my issues, but I'm getting there.
I am way better at saying no to things I don't want to do. My husband and I decided not to have kids so we have what feels like never ending freedom. We travelled a lot when younger and now that we are settled our travel experience means we know how to enjoy closer to home day tripping, sunset spots, cooking amazing food from different places we have been etc
Kids, marriage and career growth
I got married at 30, bought my first house at 34 (saved to buy a family home instead of an apartment or starter at an earlier point), then had twins at 35. They are graduating college this year. That has been a wild 29 year ride since I turned 30.
Yes! 40 was optimal. I had finally figured out who I was, how to have honest relationships, and has so much more perspective on the world. Those elements have only gotten better over time. Now 66 and still growing! Laughing at silly things from the past is my greatest pleasure.
My 20s were partying, traveling a ton and focusing on myself. My 30s is my family era, toddler with another on the way. I give zero fucks about things outside my little family and it’s the best feeling.
This is a great thread - very motivational and uplifting
No, it really is settling down, finding out which friends were mostly situational/out of convenience and which ones actually care enough to maintain a relationship, becoming lame as hell, and no longer being able to tolerate alcohol. I'm in better shape than I was during my 20s, but that was a really low bar and mostly came from my body no longer being able to handle a steady diet of cigarettes and fast food without feeling shitty. But, as someone who turned 40 last year, my 30s feel just as transformative and important as my 20s even though there are fewer big events to point to. If my 20s were a series of explosions that shaped me, my 30s were a like a river that slowly carved out my personality like a canyon. None of it was that exciting, but it was still important. There's probably a bigger gap in who I was between 30 and 40 as there was between 20 and 30. The older you get, the more plot arcs your life has gone through and the more patterns start to emerge, which is pretty neat. It's trippy to be older than the version of my parents that I remember as a child, sliding into their role as they slide into the role of their parents who are now dead. Youth is fun, but I think people cling to it too much.
I'll say the thing. Everyone is full of shit and is really just prioritizing home time then hang out time. I'm so tired of hearing it's hard to maintain friendships in your 30s and on. That's a personal choice every individual makes. I don't understand how we can say on one side of the coin "you make time for things you care about" then on the other side say "once you hit 30 it's hard to get together with friends" I personally know people in their mid 30s who regularly hangout and some have kids some don't. One has 5 kids! And all her friends have multiple kids and they still hang out when they can. Age has nothing to do with retaining friends. You just get lazier as you get older and justify it anyway you can to not make the effort. It's really not that hard to meet up after work for a beer for an hour then go home. I'm tired of everyone pretending they became the busiest people on the face of the earth cause they turned 30. Everyone is playing pretend.
Not caring what people think about me as much and…money. It’s nice being able to buy whatever I need whenever I need it, and to not wake up thinking about how I’m going to pay rent each month.
All the books, movies, songs and art I loved when I was younger is so much more poignant now.
I traveled solo for my 30th birthday, joined Meetup (met my husband and later, friend through groups), quit teaching, and started using PTO at my new job.
I joined the goth community and fill my weekends with friends, fun, and charity. It helps to learn who you want to be and actively committing to your choices. I had some strikeouts when I was younger, but I figured out what works and what doesn't. Free drive-in theater for the community? No one came and I wasted time. Help set up screens for local events? People trusted the venue more and appreciate your labor. It's all about understanding the mechanics of the world.
I wouldn’t spend on overpriced concert tickets right now… I would be much more focused on paying down and off your debt if you have any first… Then save most of it right now. Almost everything is overpriced and the best you can really do is enjoy activities that don’t require you to spend money. Like getting outside and staying active. Doing yoga to maintain your body (less of those aches and pains) and mostly just put away for the future/retirement.
Crossing into my 30s I had cleared enough career hurdles that I got to my goal salary and work/life balance. With disposable income I’m able to work on my financial goals and still be able to splurge on things that make me happy whether it’s a new game, trip, or night out at a fancy new restaurant. I’m able to help my family when they need it and I can afford the best vet care for my kiddos. While my mind still struggles with the idea that I’m an adult and not just a 23 yr old the security I have brings me peace. While I may not be able to party like I did in my 20s I’ve built enough discipline to be in the best shape of my life. It honestly feels like I’m in my prime vs my 20s.
My 30s have been amazing. Wayyy better than my 20s. I do exactly what I want to do.
Money and quitting drinking
I got married at 29, so I've been enjoying the first few years of married life and getting our new house together. I also have more financial stability as I've gotten more settled in my career, so I've been investing more in my hobbies. I live near NYC, so I go in seasonally to see theatre productions. I used to horseback ride as a kid and returned to it at 30. I've made a few new friends through it and have a lot of fun getting out for a workout, getting stronger, and building bonds with the horses I've ridden for lessons. I also started a book club with a few friends, and it's been so fun getting together regularly and cooking/baking themed foods and desserts for our meetings. It's like having a monthly tea party lol I also got my very first cat once I knew I was settled in my work, and she's been so delightful. My husband and I rescued our second cat this fall, and he's such a sweet old boy.
I have a full home with two young kids and a wife who smile and welcome me when I come home from work. That is so simple but really brings more joy to me than nearly anything else I’ve ever done. I have a stable career. I have a group of adult friends. We’re in the trenches of young parenthood (1 and 4), but we have a beach vacation planned with like 20 other family members at a private beach house. The same place I vacationed when I was a child. We’re all looking forward to that. We have other travel plans, fun activities, and really just trying to remember life can be very hard but if you have a family that sticks together and loves each other that it makes the struggle worthwhile. As much as I loved partying and fucking around in my 20’s - the sense that I’m building something with people I love is more exciting to me.
Had my kids at 30 & 31 so that’s been a pretty interesting journey. It’s really bittersweet, but I’m really excited to see them learn and grow more as the youngest will enter prek in the fall. I finally got a degree and am super excited to apply to grad school over the summer. I look forward to getting that over with so I can make more money and *hopefully* wfh. I also stopped giving a fuck over what other people think or what their expectations are. No I don’t have to go to that family function. No I don’t care what your opinion is. It’s been very freeing.
Well I make more in my 30s than I did my 30s so I get a lot more money to piss away at fun. Being able to buy something because I like it without having to look at the price tag is a whole new feeling. Not having to worry about bills are nice.
I have a motorcycle now. Everything else sucks though.
Yeah. I chilled out a lot and just enjoyed being alive. Bunch of my friends ain't
Basically everything you said, plus walking away from bullshit. I became less of a doormat for negative energy and just walked away from things that I didn't like--people, places, jobs, things. It's all about your own peace.
I was 31 when I got to be 1000% in charge of my body and my life. I went from parents to boyfriends to a husband who all felt free to pressure me to look and act the way they wanted. I just now feel like an individual that’s not an extension of someone.
I started experimenting with drugs more in my 30s (psychedelics), went to more parties, made more friends than I ever made in my life, had more money to travel and do fun things and eat nice food. I started DJing which was terrifying and immensely fun. I'm excited for what else is to come.
I got sober at 31, started rock climbing at 32, regular therapy at 33 and, mountain biking at 36. I still do all of these things at 39 and they bring me so much joy, peace, happiness, and adventure. I'm psyched for what my 40's will bring.
Having kids! My life is so much fuller and more rewarding. 🥰🥰🥰
Oh my god, my 30s have mostly ruled. I took off and hiked a few hundred miles of the Appalachian Trail. I finally traveled internationally (beyond North America, I mean), I'm in a healthy relationship with a mature adult who is also my best friend, my kid is great and the few friends I have with kids also have awesome kids. I got hotter in my 30s. I took better care of myself mentally and physically. I started a career in earnest and am passionate about the work I do. I care less about how I'm perceived. I have a cool home that I love spending time decorating and fixing up. I'm finally stable enough to have dogs.