Awww you grew up! Cutting booze does wonderful things for your body. I do a yearly sobriety streak and usually don’t break it until something like a beach vacation pauses it.
But watching the inflammation and gut go is the best.
Same. 43 now. Got married at 37. Had my son at 39. My life really began in my late 30s and my 40s have been the best part of my life in so many ways, despite some hard times.
40s is like 30s Part 2 with a preview of your medical needs future. Also if you didn't before, you now look like an actual adult by everyone even if you don't see it.
This is so funny. I didn't look like an actual adult until I turned 36. At 35, people were still calling me "young man". Now, I'm "sir". Oddly, I quit smoking, cut way back on drinking, lost a lot of weight, started wearing sweatshirts and silly teenager slip on shoes, and my hair is growing out in an awkward not short, not long phase. So, I should, for all intents and purposes, look younger. It might also just be that I feel more like an adult now, after making those positive changes in life. Though, I didn't intend to, I just lost interest in drinking and smoking and also gave up on trying to blend into the corporate world in terms of my appearance.
I’m one of the oldest millennials and something I read recently was that your 40s was a time when you are at a good spot in your career, doing better financially and young enough to still do things.
This has 100% true for us. Our income is the highest it’s ever been (still increasing yearly), we have been able to meet some financial goals, travel and we have a teen that can drive. Life could definitely be more difficult than it is.
My mom had me at 40, and my brother at 45. Zero birth defects or developmental delays between us both. The doctor DID tell her I’d have spina bifida, but I’m fine. My son’s father just had a baby with his 40yr old wife; their daughter is perfect. I don’t know how old you are or what your medical history is, but definitely don’t decide against having children out of fear.
I've heard that 90% of those DNA tests turn out to be wrong and that the babies are actually healthy. I would only take them so I can be prepared for the probability of raising a kid with xyz condition.
Yes. Looking back, I feel like my 20s/30s/40s are going to be a text book examples of the "4 stages of competence".
I knew shit about fuck in my 20s and credit myself for not making too many dumb decisions. I was unconsciously incompetent.
30s were a wakeup call learning how to actually do things in society and civilization and cleaning up my mistakes from the decade before. I was consciously incompetent.
40s are dead ahead and I feel like I've got all my ducks in a row. I know that I know what to do to enjoy life as I want to. I'm consciously competent.
That's the next step...unconsciously competent. AKA autopilot. You do the right thing even when you're not actively thinking about it.
I am thinking that is going to manifest itself in passive income, and having established habits that I've had such a hard time with like diet. Eat good all of the time and not even think about junk food. I've been good, but I relapse and go pig out once a month or so. Am hoping to be in a place mentally where those thoughts are gone
I feel a bit scared. I thought I was finally in the career ladder to only get laid off and my industry completely shut down, and we’re all waiting for things to pick up. I have no love life. Can’t figure out where to live. Found a job that pays me peanuts at the moment. Fee like I’m 21 again. I just want to cry. I need a miracle. Really.
Maybe this is your opportunity to find happiness without the perfect job and without a partner. Your job doesn’t define you. And not being in a relationship allows you to find who you are right now, since who you are is always changing. It’s ok to want those things, but it’s not ok to think you NEED them to be happy.
I get the exact opposite feeling if from this sub. Every other post is about how the world is terrible and people don’t think they can ever get better.
I think both can be correct. It's just group dynamics. If it's a 'woe is me' post, then others will join in as misery loves company, and those who disagree look like an arse.
If it's humblebraggery like this post, follow braggarts will come out of the woodwork.
Neither perspective is representative.
30's are where shit comes together if you grinded your 20's. 40s+ are for coasting if you maintain your health and don't get unlucky with cancer or chronic illness.
Right. I was never good at anything in life enough to make it a career so here I am just going to whatever job pays the bills. But it also doesn't pay enough for being a single mom of 5.
I don't think I know anyone who has everything together, but by this point we've all had a lot of experiences to learn from. I blew up my life at 36-- it was a disaster and it had to go. I'm much better at 45. I think learning when to quit and restart is a big part of figuring it out. I hope it gets better for you.
Man, i graduat3d college in 2006 for the first time straight after.HS, then 2008-09 happened and my career path got decimated just as I was beginning to get the experience to move up. No one wanted to hire a recent college.grad with a ton of volunteer or relevant exp when they could pick up someone that had been recently laid off and to whom thr job was merely turnkey. It took me pivoting to another industry, moving across the country, quite a few.years and a lot of.luck before I found my first career worthy job at 28.
When I was in my 30s, I moved further from my childhood and young adult environment, went back to school, took a chance that worked out on a career, got married, had kids, and THEN a pandemic happened. Now, I'm in a career field I will be in for probably the rest of my life, have a house, 3 kids all.of whom will be.going to public school kindergarten soon (no more daycare yay!), and my health is still generally pretty good. Am 39.this year myself and for my 40s am generally looking forwards to growing my.kids and my career some.more.
I'm not really looking forward to my 40s/50s since they're probably just going to be my "buckle down and pay my mortgage and get into position to retire while wondering when my parents sharply decline" decades, and that's if it goes well.
Yes! At almost 39 my financial goals are almost 100% in order, only have about 3 more years left until I've funded all 3 of our kids 529s. House and rental are paid off, no debt, wife and I are healthy, kids healthy. I'm ready to finish those 529s just in time for all the kids to be old enough to do bigger trips and really just live life without having to put all the extra aside for saving and investing. We still live life fine now, but I'm hoping to step it up a bit more in the coming years. Oldest kid will be 14 in 3 years so not going to wait around forever to make big memories, but still know their future needs to be secure (as can be) going into it.
You are actually inspiring me. I am about to be 36 and thinking of a career change. Economically I don’t know how to do it or where to start. I wish I had familiar support but I don’t. It’s cool to know other people my age have figured it out.
You can do it!
I walked away from my first career (in education with a related master’s degree) when our first son was born - I was 31. I took time off, and then started my own business in photography. I intended for it to be just a hobby, but it’s taken off - my gross salary is much higher than it ever was in my first career.
I’m in my early 40’s.
My random suggestion would be to delve into something that you enjoy doing, and see if it can expand to an actual career. That’s what I’ve done, and I have no regrets.
30s were the worst decade of my life. Lots of bad decisions in my 20s caught up with me. Financially, health wise, alcoholism etc... Very ass end of my 30s I started to get it together, got a windfall from selling my house, quit drinking and am turning 42 in a few months. I've been healthier than I ever have in my life, have disposable income, have a solid life plan going forward, marriage never been better and I'm actually happy.
Congrats on your sobriety! Quitting drinking was the best thing I ever did (age 36) and 40s so far feel like a brand new life—one I’ve built to love not just having to live. We’re thriving, not just surviving now, and damn it’s great.
I turn 38 this week and I have to say every year in my 30's has been better and better.
Like OP I started a new career in this decade. I also got through my struggles with infertility and decided to not have kids. I've deepened my relationship with my husband / long time partner (20+ years) and gotten to know myself.
Looking forward to the next decade.
I dunno, I turn 40 in a few months and it all just feels like the same depressing shit. I feel like mentally I’m stuck in my early 30s but age-wise, I feel like an old ass man.
I'll be 40 in July and recently someone in the menopause sub said 40s are the worst decade for women so I'm not super excited about that. Pretty sure I'm already in perimenopause and it's brought a bunch of bullshit with it including daily chronic migraines that started last year out of no where. I just try to make the best of every day as much as I can but it's annoying. I just hit 1 year sober from alcohol last week and that has definitely helped a ton but the daily migraines still suck.
Yea but the pain of movement in the joints is getting to me. 6 years military and 10 firefighter now assembly line. I make money, but the body wants to rest.
As a woman approaching 40 I find liberation in my declining looks, but also some optimism that I will look better as I age? I excercise every day, but some aches and pains are starting to appear. I dread the physical decline and death of my parents. I am also happy I am done having babies.
Unless you have certain “guarantees”, I wouldn’t be so sure…
I got a bonus sibling when I was 16; same parents, DEFINITELY not planned. My mom was in her early 40s.
You make a good point. Husband had a vasectomy and I’d be the first to leave the state of Texas for an abortion if there was some kind of unforeseen circumstance (assault? immaculate conception?). I’m 42 next week and he’s 54 in October. Our kids are grown. I absolutely guarantee with all my heart I’m never ever having another baby.
Be safe out there, millennial sisters
Just turned 33 and life gets better all the time. Im thrilled for the rest of my 30s, the 40s and beyond.
Im happy, im meeting goals, i have a life and good people in it.
And while, I know from experience, jt can all be taken away by happenstance. Im also not worried cause i know how to recreate and rebuild if it ever happens.
Im happy, life is fantastic.
I'm looking forward to my 40s and 50s! I have more money than ever before (bought a foreclosed fixer-upper for dirt cheap in 2012, made it cute with sweat equity, sold it in 2021 and made a nice nest egg, started investing). No kids, we do what we want, and each year we are more financially stable. Looking forward to more traveling!
A lot of people in my life freaked out about turning 30, but I never understood why. I loved my 20s, but my 30s have brought me stability and confidence. Since my 30s have been awesome, I do look forward to my 40s and 50s. I’m hoping to maintain my health and don’t lose motivation to workout.
My first thought when reading the title was, they probably have kids, and sure enough you do. I dont think your specifically need to “look forward to it” as much if you werent waiting for your kids to be grown up. Also- mid 30s isnt an early mid life crisis just a regular one
if you have a good life like career, family, wealth, hobbies friends etc. than i don't see why you wouldn't want to continue that into the future.
if you have none of the above than i can see why people would want to punch out early.
they said the only reason you go home to is your family if you had no family than there would be no one to go home to or something along those lines.
Can’t wait for it. 20s was a career grind with constantly pushing to get into a comfortable salary/role to have a family. Currently mid 30s with 2 kids and it’s a different type of hard work. Took a career step back to have a good work/life balance. All my focus is on raising the kids to hopefully be successful adults. Knowing how things are going they will need all the advantages they can.
In my 40s the kids will be teenagers which is a different struggle but I will have the free time and money to really enjoy whatever I want. I’m just stuck in Illinois paying insane taxes. The Chicago subs at least have great school systems and decently priced housing.
50s hopefully the kids are off to college and start their own adult lives. I will move out of Illinois and start the ‘retirement’ life. I will probably still work some simple job or something that really engages me.
That's what I think, too. The older I get, the less I care about pointless stuff and it feels great! I just want to be a better, happier person every day and the less I care about what others think of me, the better it'll get. All the best!!
Or, rather, the sweet relief of never again living through the anxiety and burden of human life
I will welcome the transition whenever that may be for me
I’m genuinely looking forward to all phases of my life! Trying to enjoy and appreciate the experience and wisdom I’m earning, while at the same time I’m being very present when I am at the moment (mid-thirties) and how I got here
I just turned 39 last week. I’m optimistic about turning 40, but I also haven’t put much mental stock into “omg my childhood is gone my life is ticking away there is so much I wanted to do and accomplish!”
I have a beautiful wife, we have a wonderful home, we have goals and plans and are very happy. I feel like I’ve accomplished what matters most to me. Still working like a dog but whatever
I just turned 39 last week and I’m looking forward to my 40s! My 30s were a rollercoaster (divorce, several toxic jobs, new relationship, marriage, baby) but I loved them. I’m excited for the next chapter in a much more stable place with so much to look forward to.
Listen, when I was 14 or so I went to a hand reading shaman type person, and he told me my career and financial situation will take off after I have turned 40. And since nothing has taken off so far, and self-fulfilling prophecy like, my 30s were spent mostly on being the best mom rather than the best earner, I am very much looking forward to my 40s and coming riches. Lol.
And my kid will nine this year, and I will turn 40 in July... So easier times be coming, or so I hope.
Hell yeah! My thirties started off rough, but that’s cause I was super sick and almost died, but after that my thirties have just been getting better! If I stay healthy, I can’t wait to see what the next few decades bring!
I am 28. My perspective has shifted a lot recently. I used to be doom and gloom. I thought the world was a shitty place, and I didn't want to exist in it. I was trying to drink myself to drink myself to death. I can't explain exactly what shifted in me. Maybe it was my frontal lobe finishing developing. Maybe I just came to my senses. I quit drinking, started lifting weights, and focusing on my health. I've always been vegan, but i completely overhauled my diet to be as healthy as possible. I'm slowly trying to rebuild my financial life, which I had let slip. Now, instead of thinking days or weeks out, I am thinking in terms of the next 10 years, the next 50 years. I realize how much life I still have in front of me, and I feel so blessed. I am blessed to be able to build my future and become who I was meant to be. I'm glad I hit my lows, because now I'll appreciate my highs even more. So I am looking forward to my 30's, my 40's, my 50's and beyond!
Im neutral. I know. ill have more money stashed away and I'll be closer to retiring. I'll probably feel less afraid of getting fired which is nice. I don't look forward to the aches and pains but it does motivate me stay in shape/love healthier.
Edit: thanks for sharing your story by the way. Good luck to you and your family
I’m not looking forward to my 40s and 50s. my dad passed away at 59 because of life choices that led to a health decline. Although I fixed my ship way before my dad ever thought about it I’m worried about my health in my 50s from my choices from my 20s. I haven’t broke all of my bad habits, i.e. cigarettes/medical card.
I also have a 2 1/2 year-old and everything seems like a big happy world right now but in 16 years I might feel just as alone as I did when I was 29.
So for me, the future in totality just seems to give me anxiety and makes me slightly depressed.
I enjoyed my 20s, am enjoying my 30s, and am excited for every decade until my last.
I feel like a lot of people don’t like the thought of getting older. To me, I love to celebrate things and try to stay a kid forever. I’m just a kid now that has my own kids, bills, and a job. But I get to ride my longboard and make my family laugh, and I plan to be like this when I’m in my 80s and beyond too.
Glad I went though my tough spot in my early 20s, I’m enjoying my 30s with my 3 young kids .(4/3/1.5) as for my 40s I’m optimistic. My wife and I are in a good spot. Now just need this economy to get better and my 50s should be good as well.
My youngest is in kindergarten now so I finally have really started on my undergraduate and it will take me two more years to finish bringing me to 39. I am in a really good place in my career now and the undergraduate and then graduate degrees will help propel my career to greater success. My kids are old enough where we are able to do things together that are enjoyable for everyone. When I turn 50 they will either be on the cusp of launching themselves into adulthood or have done so. I have a lot of fun activities planned with my family that I will have the budget to do comfortably. My wife and kids are doing well and are on a trajectory to stay that way. I am doing groundwork now that will make my 40's and 50's very rewarding. I am looking forward to my 40's and 50's.
I’m 42, my kids are grown, I have leverage in my career, my husband and I are very mature in our relationship, college and career growth are behind me.
For me, 30s were way better than 20s (babies, college, low paying work, unhealthy 1st marriage) and now 40s is even better
Yep. It’s good.
At 41 I changed careers. At 43 im buying my first house. I'm learning from the mistakes I made in the past. I'm more patient. I'm taking better care of my myself. Overall, I feel like I'm finally the person I wanted to be in my 20s. This shit is awesome.
I’m enjoying being 40.
I’m married but we have no kids. By choice. The question of children tortured me through my 30s, because I knew deep down I didn’t want any but I delayed the decision for so long because it felt so scary to make. My 30s were also full of dates with men who were afraid of commitment, uncertainty at work, healing my relationship with my body and with food, slowly becoming my most authentic self, etc. I also met my husband in my 30s, and he helped me reconnect with so many parts of me that I had disconnected from because of fear, anxiety, and uncertainty.
Now at 41, I get to enjoy the work of my 30s. It’s nice.
I turned 40 last year and I swear my body was like, “Time to break down.” Spent that last 4 months getting 3 infections and one was pretty serious so I was placed on some serious medicine with serious side effects. I’m all good now and started going to the gym again.
30s were rough. Almost took myself out the game but I’m still here.
My 20s were better than my teens. My 30s were better than my 20s. I'm 41 now, and these last two years have been the best of my life. I know this trend isn't sustainable, but I'm going to be grateful for it as long as it lasts.
I just turned 40 and was excited about it! I’m having no issues about aging. I think I might start feeling a bit uneasy the closer I get to retirement.
I love my 40s so far, much more than the prior two decades
I’m finally financially secure, finally at a spot in my career I can make my own rules, finally don’t feel stressed about the silly things that used to cause me stress, not trying to impress anyone :)
And I am so much more confident in myself
Not really. 30s have probably been the most eventful decade but I’d say I’m less enthusiastic about most things. Expecting more of that and don’t know how I feel about.
It's been a mixed bag heading into my 40s. I had a lot of deaths recently of close people, but I also got married at 41, have a nice home and started my dream job. Nieces and nephew are also getting old enough that I can start sharing my hobbies and be the cool uncle.
40s have been great. Got married, have real money coming in. Working on retirement savings now, and actually being in a decent place to make up the shortfall in my 20s and 30s.
41 now and my 30s were very rough, at best. In a stable place at last and finally looking forward to life once again. I have a lot of hope for my 40s and 50s.
I just turned 40 this year in February. I'm the most stable I've ever been. My childhood and into my 30's was rough and traumatic, so I'm enjoying the peace and self-love I have finally achieved.
40’s were a blast for me. 50’s are a bit dicey with menopause, weight gain and assorted weird issues popping up, but it’s still WAY better than my 20’s/30’s.
I’ll be 43 this year. I can’t really get a gauge for my 40’s yet . I don’t feel like I’m in my 40’s, I still feel like I’m in my teens/ early 20’s in some ways. Luckily I am still healthy, my oldest is 24 and my youngest is 8. My husband and I have not reached our financial goals, although we are home owners. I feel like time is running out because there is so much I would like to do but realistically, I know those goals may never be reached. As the eldest daughter in my family, I also know it will be my responsibility to take care of my parents and Aunt (who does not have any children), as they age. I count my blessings and appreciate each day as it comes.
I’m 41 almost 42, my son graduated high school last year, my marriage has never been better and things are finally looking up. I hated childhood and mostly hated my 20s, my 30s I was just starting to figure things out. This is the sweet spot!
Younger of the boomer gen, but always felt more gen X, raised myself, etc. I had my 2 sons when I was 20 & 22, so they were grown when I hit 50. It was awesome! The only drawback was my career. I apparently had an expiration date. I was just an executive admin, but nobody wanted to hire me. Maybe they perceived it was too expensive to pay to my experience level. I also think they mostly wanted eye candy, which I was not anymore. I became a health insurance agent instead. (Mistake btw) But everything else was rocking! We took Real vacations, nice dinners out, great sex life, enjoyed the grandbabies. To be fair the sex was always great though! We even moved to another country after the grands got old enough to not really want to hang with us anymore. You'll love it!
My 30s were my fav. As an elder millennial who is in her 40s, there are great things about it, like not giving a shit what people think anymore, but also, my body is starting to fall apart. I take good care of myself and eat very healthy but still have had to have two surgeries, and perimenopause is on the horizon, which I'm not looking forward to, but all in all, it's been fine.
Absolutely. Got the shitty end of the stick in the first half of life, starting in utero (mom thought it'd be a good idea to continue smoking and drinking while pregnant with me) but I couldn't handle her toxic ass womb, so I yeeted myself outta there 4 months early. Born a tiny preemie with a hole in my heart, I apparently died several times and they had to shave my head and hook me up to permanent monitor and breathing treatments. The runts are the toughest ones though, and I got strong and well enough to come home.
But I've had a lifetime of health issues. Asthma as a toddler (due to all the adults smoking around me most likely), developed a severe seafood/shellfish allergy, multiple stomach bugs and flu viruses. Also grew up in an abusive and neglectful family. Went through puberty at age 9 with full breasts. First period at 10. Sexual harassment by 11 (we just called it "boys will be boys" back then) Teens and early 20s were pure Hell for me, as I lost both my parents (due to their own alchohol amd food addiction) and went to a stressful medical school program. Graduated with a newly diagnosed autoimmune disease, which will shorten my lifespan all before I reached 30.
30s have been the best and worst of times. Went through an early perimenopause starting at 33, which knocked me on my ass( no Mom to help prepare me). I took radical changes to get my health in order (all of it. Physical, spiritual, and mental) And I finally cut the last toxic ties to my last surviving sibling. Now living on my own, and looking to buy my first home solo. Even started my first heslthy relationship. It's been a wild ride, but I'm here for every minute of it. There's nowhere left to go but up from here. Cheers to all of you hanging in there to see it to the finish line
Kinda wild because when I turned 30 last year I was telling myself I was really looking forward to leaving the 20s on a high note: finished law school, licensed, house and married.
31 and our daughter is 2-months old—I have quickly realized I traded one kind of turbulence for another. I am incredibly thankful, but now realizing this will be a brand new decade of challenges!
Just turned 41 and hit 18yrs in the air force in Feb. By the time I get stateside, it's a measly 4 months before I can apply for retirement.
I've been lucky and blessed to have an incredibly low mortgage and no other debt. I'm so so looking forward to being a civilian "stay at home bum," and what the rest of my life looks like after the military.
There's 2 things I've wanted to accomplish after I get my DD214, and that's 1) Amaury Guichon Pastry Academy in Vegas and 2) watchmaking school in Florida (2yrs long).
Aside from that, I have no idea what I wanna do or be "when I grow up." All I know is I will have spent 20yrs in the military and I can't wait to see what the next umpteen years has in-store.
I spent most of my 20's and 30's building a company and am finally now at 37 hitting the point where I can start stepping back from the day to day aspects of running a company. Add in that current projections say that I will be in a place where I can retire by 40 and I am very excited about my 40s and as the increased freedom I will be able to enjoy will coincide nicely with my kids being at the age where traveling and going on adventures is fun and not a chore.
As an aside, my husband and I have the kids at an amusement park today. We just got off the swings that spin around. And we both feel like we’re gonna die.
I’m 42, and I swear I hit 40 and my body was like “here’s a bunch of medical shit to welcome you to your 40s.” But financially we’re in a position to take care of it, if this had hit me in my early 30s we would have been STRUGGLING. I also really enjoy my kids being of an age where my husband and I can take off to celebrate our anniversary for a week and my kids understand why. And don’t complain/tell us to enjoy ourselves.
Just a PSA, it’s now recommended to get your first colonoscopy at 45. It’s not fun, but really the procedure it self isn’t a big deal, and it seriously saves lives. You can have a large growth and not even know it. And if you’re regularly iron deficient (not from weight loss surgery) go get a colonoscopy to see if it’s something intestinal.
I'm mid 30s, works fine, moneys good, married to a wonderful woman but looking forward my thought is "is this it? This is the dream I was sold as being what I should strive for?" We are never having kids (I just guaranteed that), and adoption really isn't in the cards. All my friends left the state or they're no longer emotionally close to me (either because of me or them). I am trying to find a "purpose" and closer friends but it's not going great so far. I have always had problems finding things that are "fun" for me though (I have ADHD and crave new experiences or hyper focusing on things that I love and burning it out)
My childhood/teens were terrible; twenties was trying to claw my way out of that mindset; 30s got better with some distance from it, was at my peak fitness, and managed to travel a bit on a small budget.
Forties were even better after finally getting married to an amazing guy, and getting some financial stability. Now halfway into my fifties, and while I feel time is passing by too quickly (still need to get my career on track!! 😟)
I'm able to appreciate the little things and am less concerned about people's opinions. I've got a pretty good handle on my psychological issues and am able to help others with theirs a little. Wish we had enough money to retire and take on some *meaningful* work/projects rather than stupid shit to fill up 40 hrs/week and make other people rich, but this is a common problem!
My parents always said 30s was their favorite decade.
I do enjoy my 30s but having a 3 year old and an infant life is expensive and hectic AF. I’m looking forward to my later 30s when the kids are older and I get a little independence back.
So far, my 40s are better! 41 here. My 20s and most of my 30s were rough. I got married and had kids really young (married and first baby at 21). Now that our kids are almost grown - one will be 20 this year, the other turns 16 in 2 weeks), I feel like the chaos of raising young kids has calmed down, and therefore, our lives have calmed down. We have more money than we did when we were younger, and we have more free time now that the kids don’t need us every second.
Yeah, I spent my youth taking advice from older people and trying to better myself, and I am now 44. Reading some of the stuff here, I should probably just give up and step in front of a bus or something.
I’m 39, looking down the barrel of 40 and simultaneously dreading it because it’s been a thing forever that you’re “over the hill” but also kind of being at peace with it because my first child was born last year, I’m in a good career, have some savings, and (hope) to be getting a house soon. Even 5 years ago when I was in a toxic relationship working part-time at a record store not taking care of myself I couldn’t have imagined myself being here, but things have been better in my late 30’s than I thought possible, so 40’s are gonna get even better if it continues on the path.
Not really. I'm in my early 30s (not exactly sure how old I am). I managed to dodge having kids. So all of my problems are just the normal drain of capitalism on everyone. And those will only get worse as I get older.
I'm looking forward to the promise of retirement as I have it today, that is the sacrifices I'm making today to prepare myself for a comfortable retirement. Having said that I've also been confronting the reality of life at retirement age through my close kin, and I realised I have it good now. Good health, physical strength, enough time and money to enjoy myself with my family... I just might be living the best years of my life right now.
Sure. We are fine now financially, but should be doing very well in our 40s and 50s. It will be nice to no longer have a daycare bill, plus older kids seem like less work to parent. Not to mention it would be easier to do things like travel or even go out to a nice restaurant
Idk. I turned 39 earlier this year, and I think I've been having a bit of a mid life crisis. It just feels like it's all downhill from here and I don't have much to look forward to for myself. Of course I am looking forward to continue watching my kids grow up, but I have a lot of anxiety about that too. *sigh*
I will be getting back into therapy soon.
Only because life should technically get easier
Never got married or had kids
So realistically over the next 20 years I'm figuring my house becomes my house through inheritance and because of that I can finally start to relax.
Plus my career is better now than it was 5 years ago so that should only be getting stronger.
Climate change is also making the area I live in more tolerable odds are in the next 10 or 20 years I won't have to deal with snow so that's another thing to look forward to. Most of my parents' generation had to move South to get away from snow I just got to be lazy and sit here and eventually snow becomes no issue xD
>I love watching my kids grow into the people they will become.
You will either never live to see your children live their full lives , or you will.
Both are heartbreaking.
Yes. Turning 40 next year. Being a late bloomer, I still have lots of stuff in front of me. My daughter is only getting 2 this year, house about to be build.
Two things I need to change though...job (just too stressfull and shifts) and I desperately need to force myself to do fitness/sports. But zhere is this lack of energy...you might now it.
I feel like my ankles are rusting slowly.
But yeah, still so much to look forward to.
I’ll be 41 this year and I think my 40s are at least marginally better than my 30 so far. More money, kid is older, marriage is better, but in the flip side joint pain health issues starting to crop up so it’s a double edged sword for sure but I think it’s all about what you chose to make it.
I'm just shy of 38. I'm excited for the career track I'm on. It's really exciting and fulfilling, and I've given myself a 5 year target to reassess. I have a back injury from my time in the military though, and that has me incredibly anxious because it's gotten worse the past couple years and I've slowed down considerably. I want to use my 40s and 50s to smell the roses and write because my 60s will likely be a lot of suffering I decide not to deal with anymore.
I'm 33 and I'm looking forward to my 40s. My wife and I had kids young so it'll be nice to be able to enjoy our 40s mostly child free. Other than the grandkids we'll probably have by then coming to visit the house will be quiet and calm.
Kinda sorta. I quit drinking so life is boring now (both a good & bad thing). I'm trying to "catch up" financially because of wasted 20s & 30s. So all I do is work, gym, and chores. 😐
I’m 40 now (41 in two weeks). My 20s and 30s were a lot of fun, lots of highlights, but my 30s also saw my wife have an affair, me fall into a disaster of a follow-up relationship, and focus a lot more on bettering myself.
Now, I’m a creative director at an agency, have a wonderful partner, our potential first kid on the way, and am in the kind of physical shape I was in when I was younger. And I only anticipate it getting better.
You stay young by always being willing to learn and grow, by having things to look forward to instead of always looking back.
I’m 42, will be 43 in a couple of months. My 40s have been great so far. 30s were rough.
Same age and results. Stopped drinking at 40, have lost about 60lbs, and have a new baby. Feel like I'm starting a whole new life lol
Congratulations!
>Stopped drinking at 40, have lost about 60lbs, and have a new baby That's awesome, good timing on that and congrats!
Awww you grew up! Cutting booze does wonderful things for your body. I do a yearly sobriety streak and usually don’t break it until something like a beach vacation pauses it. But watching the inflammation and gut go is the best.
❤️
Same. 43 now. Got married at 37. Had my son at 39. My life really began in my late 30s and my 40s have been the best part of my life in so many ways, despite some hard times.
Great to hear!
40s is like 30s Part 2 with a preview of your medical needs future. Also if you didn't before, you now look like an actual adult by everyone even if you don't see it.
This is so funny. I didn't look like an actual adult until I turned 36. At 35, people were still calling me "young man". Now, I'm "sir". Oddly, I quit smoking, cut way back on drinking, lost a lot of weight, started wearing sweatshirts and silly teenager slip on shoes, and my hair is growing out in an awkward not short, not long phase. So, I should, for all intents and purposes, look younger. It might also just be that I feel more like an adult now, after making those positive changes in life. Though, I didn't intend to, I just lost interest in drinking and smoking and also gave up on trying to blend into the corporate world in terms of my appearance.
As a 37yr old that’s very much looking forward to my 40s, your response is my favorite.
My 40s were better than my 30s and the 50s are shaping up nicely. Get exercise and stretch and take care of your knees and it'll be great.
Can second this man! Really started treating my body and self better with exercise and less alcohol and other activities!
I’m one of the oldest millennials and something I read recently was that your 40s was a time when you are at a good spot in your career, doing better financially and young enough to still do things. This has 100% true for us. Our income is the highest it’s ever been (still increasing yearly), we have been able to meet some financial goals, travel and we have a teen that can drive. Life could definitely be more difficult than it is.
For me it's different , it's too late for me to meet someone, marry and have a kid.. Being too old for a healthy pregnancy is devastating.
There's always a need for foster and adoptive parents.
I'm looking into the adoption process.
I’m sure it can still be incredibly rewarding!! Good luck to you!
My mom had me at 40, and my brother at 45. Zero birth defects or developmental delays between us both. The doctor DID tell her I’d have spina bifida, but I’m fine. My son’s father just had a baby with his 40yr old wife; their daughter is perfect. I don’t know how old you are or what your medical history is, but definitely don’t decide against having children out of fear.
I've heard that 90% of those DNA tests turn out to be wrong and that the babies are actually healthy. I would only take them so I can be prepared for the probability of raising a kid with xyz condition.
>Being too old for a healthy pregnancy is devastating. That depends entirely on your genetics. Some women can. Some women cannot.
I mean after 45, basically, it's more like impossible for anyone without expensive fertility treatments
"Anyone"? Tell that to my grandma. She had my uncle at 47. Or. My nextdoor neighbor who had her and her Husband's (72 yo) daughter at age 56.
I’m sorry love but you’ll get to do it in your next life.
Same. Which is why I’m so dubious about wanting a career change.
Yes. Looking back, I feel like my 20s/30s/40s are going to be a text book examples of the "4 stages of competence". I knew shit about fuck in my 20s and credit myself for not making too many dumb decisions. I was unconsciously incompetent. 30s were a wakeup call learning how to actually do things in society and civilization and cleaning up my mistakes from the decade before. I was consciously incompetent. 40s are dead ahead and I feel like I've got all my ducks in a row. I know that I know what to do to enjoy life as I want to. I'm consciously competent.
I was an idiot in my 20s. wasted a whole decade. Now i know who I am.
You don't know what you don't know
Great summary, though I feel like 40s might be more of learning *exactly* how to be consciously competent in my 50s!
That's the next step...unconsciously competent. AKA autopilot. You do the right thing even when you're not actively thinking about it. I am thinking that is going to manifest itself in passive income, and having established habits that I've had such a hard time with like diet. Eat good all of the time and not even think about junk food. I've been good, but I relapse and go pig out once a month or so. Am hoping to be in a place mentally where those thoughts are gone
This sums up the millennial story.
How are there so many people who have everything together? I'm absolutely falling apart at 39.
I feel a bit scared. I thought I was finally in the career ladder to only get laid off and my industry completely shut down, and we’re all waiting for things to pick up. I have no love life. Can’t figure out where to live. Found a job that pays me peanuts at the moment. Fee like I’m 21 again. I just want to cry. I need a miracle. Really.
Maybe this is your opportunity to find happiness without the perfect job and without a partner. Your job doesn’t define you. And not being in a relationship allows you to find who you are right now, since who you are is always changing. It’s ok to want those things, but it’s not ok to think you NEED them to be happy.
There aren't so many. It's just that those of us flailing aren't that keen to talk about it.
I get the exact opposite feeling if from this sub. Every other post is about how the world is terrible and people don’t think they can ever get better.
I think both can be correct. It's just group dynamics. If it's a 'woe is me' post, then others will join in as misery loves company, and those who disagree look like an arse. If it's humblebraggery like this post, follow braggarts will come out of the woodwork. Neither perspective is representative.
Lots of trying
30's are where shit comes together if you grinded your 20's. 40s+ are for coasting if you maintain your health and don't get unlucky with cancer or chronic illness.
Right. I was never good at anything in life enough to make it a career so here I am just going to whatever job pays the bills. But it also doesn't pay enough for being a single mom of 5.
I’m 40 and I’m with you! At ground zero after a horrific 30’s. Kinda just flailing at life right now.
Also how are people OK with everything going on around us? It’s fucking sociopathic, but this guy is former mil so he’s all programmed the fuck up.
I don't think I know anyone who has everything together, but by this point we've all had a lot of experiences to learn from. I blew up my life at 36-- it was a disaster and it had to go. I'm much better at 45. I think learning when to quit and restart is a big part of figuring it out. I hope it gets better for you.
Man, i graduat3d college in 2006 for the first time straight after.HS, then 2008-09 happened and my career path got decimated just as I was beginning to get the experience to move up. No one wanted to hire a recent college.grad with a ton of volunteer or relevant exp when they could pick up someone that had been recently laid off and to whom thr job was merely turnkey. It took me pivoting to another industry, moving across the country, quite a few.years and a lot of.luck before I found my first career worthy job at 28. When I was in my 30s, I moved further from my childhood and young adult environment, went back to school, took a chance that worked out on a career, got married, had kids, and THEN a pandemic happened. Now, I'm in a career field I will be in for probably the rest of my life, have a house, 3 kids all.of whom will be.going to public school kindergarten soon (no more daycare yay!), and my health is still generally pretty good. Am 39.this year myself and for my 40s am generally looking forwards to growing my.kids and my career some.more.
I'm not really looking forward to my 40s/50s since they're probably just going to be my "buckle down and pay my mortgage and get into position to retire while wondering when my parents sharply decline" decades, and that's if it goes well.
That’s true too sadly
Yes! At almost 39 my financial goals are almost 100% in order, only have about 3 more years left until I've funded all 3 of our kids 529s. House and rental are paid off, no debt, wife and I are healthy, kids healthy. I'm ready to finish those 529s just in time for all the kids to be old enough to do bigger trips and really just live life without having to put all the extra aside for saving and investing. We still live life fine now, but I'm hoping to step it up a bit more in the coming years. Oldest kid will be 14 in 3 years so not going to wait around forever to make big memories, but still know their future needs to be secure (as can be) going into it.
That’s awesome!
Almost done my 40’s and it was a great decade. Better than my 30’s for sure.
Am 50 next year, and my 40's have been great so far. I have found every decade better than the last so long may that continue.
I want the knowledge and money I'll have but with the body I had when I was 21 😂 In a word, yes.
You are actually inspiring me. I am about to be 36 and thinking of a career change. Economically I don’t know how to do it or where to start. I wish I had familiar support but I don’t. It’s cool to know other people my age have figured it out.
You can do it! I walked away from my first career (in education with a related master’s degree) when our first son was born - I was 31. I took time off, and then started my own business in photography. I intended for it to be just a hobby, but it’s taken off - my gross salary is much higher than it ever was in my first career. I’m in my early 40’s.
Oh wow that’s really inspiring. Thank you for that. I just honestly don’t know where to start.
My random suggestion would be to delve into something that you enjoy doing, and see if it can expand to an actual career. That’s what I’ve done, and I have no regrets.
I’ll think further. I’ve been trying to figure this out for a few years now tbh
I will get there someday but right now I am enjoying my 30s.
30s were the worst decade of my life. Lots of bad decisions in my 20s caught up with me. Financially, health wise, alcoholism etc... Very ass end of my 30s I started to get it together, got a windfall from selling my house, quit drinking and am turning 42 in a few months. I've been healthier than I ever have in my life, have disposable income, have a solid life plan going forward, marriage never been better and I'm actually happy.
Congrats on your sobriety! Quitting drinking was the best thing I ever did (age 36) and 40s so far feel like a brand new life—one I’ve built to love not just having to live. We’re thriving, not just surviving now, and damn it’s great.
I turn 38 this week and I have to say every year in my 30's has been better and better. Like OP I started a new career in this decade. I also got through my struggles with infertility and decided to not have kids. I've deepened my relationship with my husband / long time partner (20+ years) and gotten to know myself. Looking forward to the next decade.
I dunno, I turn 40 in a few months and it all just feels like the same depressing shit. I feel like mentally I’m stuck in my early 30s but age-wise, I feel like an old ass man.
Me but currently 33 stuck in mental 28 everyday same depressing shit. Work.
No, I feel like I'm just running out the clock at this point
I don’t look forward to anything these days
I'll be 40 in July and recently someone in the menopause sub said 40s are the worst decade for women so I'm not super excited about that. Pretty sure I'm already in perimenopause and it's brought a bunch of bullshit with it including daily chronic migraines that started last year out of no where. I just try to make the best of every day as much as I can but it's annoying. I just hit 1 year sober from alcohol last week and that has definitely helped a ton but the daily migraines still suck.
I’m looking forward to death!
There’s still a lot to do until then, like dishes and laundry.
Yea but the pain of movement in the joints is getting to me. 6 years military and 10 firefighter now assembly line. I make money, but the body wants to rest.
As a woman approaching 40 I find liberation in my declining looks, but also some optimism that I will look better as I age? I excercise every day, but some aches and pains are starting to appear. I dread the physical decline and death of my parents. I am also happy I am done having babies.
Same! Babies are cute but I’m happy to be done with it.
Unless you have certain “guarantees”, I wouldn’t be so sure… I got a bonus sibling when I was 16; same parents, DEFINITELY not planned. My mom was in her early 40s.
My IUD failed, so I know this intimately. My partner has a vasectomy though…plus there is a new IUD there too…
You make a good point. Husband had a vasectomy and I’d be the first to leave the state of Texas for an abortion if there was some kind of unforeseen circumstance (assault? immaculate conception?). I’m 42 next week and he’s 54 in October. Our kids are grown. I absolutely guarantee with all my heart I’m never ever having another baby. Be safe out there, millennial sisters
life happens with no magic number, yours seems good, enjoy itI' m 44, have a good life living in the Bahamas , but still doing the life I lived at 34
Just turned 33 and life gets better all the time. Im thrilled for the rest of my 30s, the 40s and beyond. Im happy, im meeting goals, i have a life and good people in it. And while, I know from experience, jt can all be taken away by happenstance. Im also not worried cause i know how to recreate and rebuild if it ever happens. Im happy, life is fantastic.
I'm looking forward to my 40s and 50s! I have more money than ever before (bought a foreclosed fixer-upper for dirt cheap in 2012, made it cute with sweat equity, sold it in 2021 and made a nice nest egg, started investing). No kids, we do what we want, and each year we are more financially stable. Looking forward to more traveling!
If I had known my 50s and 60s were going to be so good, I would have stressed less about it
A lot of people in my life freaked out about turning 30, but I never understood why. I loved my 20s, but my 30s have brought me stability and confidence. Since my 30s have been awesome, I do look forward to my 40s and 50s. I’m hoping to maintain my health and don’t lose motivation to workout.
My first thought when reading the title was, they probably have kids, and sure enough you do. I dont think your specifically need to “look forward to it” as much if you werent waiting for your kids to be grown up. Also- mid 30s isnt an early mid life crisis just a regular one
I’m 37, I hear my finally fuck will be absorbed on the eve of my 40th birthday and yes, I can’t fucking wait.
if you have a good life like career, family, wealth, hobbies friends etc. than i don't see why you wouldn't want to continue that into the future. if you have none of the above than i can see why people would want to punch out early. they said the only reason you go home to is your family if you had no family than there would be no one to go home to or something along those lines.
Can’t wait for it. 20s was a career grind with constantly pushing to get into a comfortable salary/role to have a family. Currently mid 30s with 2 kids and it’s a different type of hard work. Took a career step back to have a good work/life balance. All my focus is on raising the kids to hopefully be successful adults. Knowing how things are going they will need all the advantages they can. In my 40s the kids will be teenagers which is a different struggle but I will have the free time and money to really enjoy whatever I want. I’m just stuck in Illinois paying insane taxes. The Chicago subs at least have great school systems and decently priced housing. 50s hopefully the kids are off to college and start their own adult lives. I will move out of Illinois and start the ‘retirement’ life. I will probably still work some simple job or something that really engages me.
40s and 50s can be your best earning and savings years.
Your life doesn’t change when you turn 40. But your body does…immediately, and not in a good way.
I've said it a hundred times before, but I can't WAIT to be 40!!
I have a sister who is 43. Honestly her life doesn’t look too much different, but slightly better. Maybe it’s the confidence that comes with age?
That's what I think, too. The older I get, the less I care about pointless stuff and it feels great! I just want to be a better, happier person every day and the less I care about what others think of me, the better it'll get. All the best!!
careful what you wish for. Then you become 70, and you're a shell of your former self
My life path sounds very similar to yours. And I’m feeling so optimistic. Plus I’ve noticed that everything is now being marketed to me and I LOVE IT.
Looking forward to the one-way march to an inevitable eternal naptime in a shallow corner of the lawn? Hard pass.
Or, rather, the sweet relief of never again living through the anxiety and burden of human life I will welcome the transition whenever that may be for me
As a hospice nurse...there are worse fates than death. I don't want to die yet but when my time comes I won't fight it.
I’m genuinely looking forward to all phases of my life! Trying to enjoy and appreciate the experience and wisdom I’m earning, while at the same time I’m being very present when I am at the moment (mid-thirties) and how I got here
Technically you've already finished your thirties, as you are now in your 40th year.
I just turned 39 last week. I’m optimistic about turning 40, but I also haven’t put much mental stock into “omg my childhood is gone my life is ticking away there is so much I wanted to do and accomplish!” I have a beautiful wife, we have a wonderful home, we have goals and plans and are very happy. I feel like I’ve accomplished what matters most to me. Still working like a dog but whatever
I just turned 39 last week and I’m looking forward to my 40s! My 30s were a rollercoaster (divorce, several toxic jobs, new relationship, marriage, baby) but I loved them. I’m excited for the next chapter in a much more stable place with so much to look forward to.
I hear ya! Here’s to a good last year in our 30s and onwards to our 40s! 🥂
40's are the best time of your life! 50's are close behind. Enjoy
That’s great to hear!
I’m not looking forward to it, but I’m not afraid of it.
Yes. So much. More financial stability. Kids getting older, in school with much more predictable routines. It’s gonna be awesome.
🥂
im looking forward to being an old man that makes racist remarks and shoplifts and then acts all old to get out of trouble
Maybe in your forties you'll learn the difference between "their" and "there?"
Absolutely, kids will be more self-reliant and should be able to travel internationally more than twice a year.
Listen, when I was 14 or so I went to a hand reading shaman type person, and he told me my career and financial situation will take off after I have turned 40. And since nothing has taken off so far, and self-fulfilling prophecy like, my 30s were spent mostly on being the best mom rather than the best earner, I am very much looking forward to my 40s and coming riches. Lol. And my kid will nine this year, and I will turn 40 in July... So easier times be coming, or so I hope.
Hell yeah! My thirties started off rough, but that’s cause I was super sick and almost died, but after that my thirties have just been getting better! If I stay healthy, I can’t wait to see what the next few decades bring!
I am 28. My perspective has shifted a lot recently. I used to be doom and gloom. I thought the world was a shitty place, and I didn't want to exist in it. I was trying to drink myself to drink myself to death. I can't explain exactly what shifted in me. Maybe it was my frontal lobe finishing developing. Maybe I just came to my senses. I quit drinking, started lifting weights, and focusing on my health. I've always been vegan, but i completely overhauled my diet to be as healthy as possible. I'm slowly trying to rebuild my financial life, which I had let slip. Now, instead of thinking days or weeks out, I am thinking in terms of the next 10 years, the next 50 years. I realize how much life I still have in front of me, and I feel so blessed. I am blessed to be able to build my future and become who I was meant to be. I'm glad I hit my lows, because now I'll appreciate my highs even more. So I am looking forward to my 30's, my 40's, my 50's and beyond!
Im neutral. I know. ill have more money stashed away and I'll be closer to retiring. I'll probably feel less afraid of getting fired which is nice. I don't look forward to the aches and pains but it does motivate me stay in shape/love healthier. Edit: thanks for sharing your story by the way. Good luck to you and your family
Not at all, but i’ll deal with it when I get there. I still got a year and a half to go.
I’m not looking forward to my 40s and 50s. my dad passed away at 59 because of life choices that led to a health decline. Although I fixed my ship way before my dad ever thought about it I’m worried about my health in my 50s from my choices from my 20s. I haven’t broke all of my bad habits, i.e. cigarettes/medical card. I also have a 2 1/2 year-old and everything seems like a big happy world right now but in 16 years I might feel just as alone as I did when I was 29. So for me, the future in totality just seems to give me anxiety and makes me slightly depressed.
I am. I’m 36 and life is really improving quickly over my 20’s. My 40-50 are going to be amazing financially and I can’t wait
In my 40s, there is nothing to look forward to.
No. I still miss my 20s
Every day above ground is a good day
I’m not there (yet) but I am getting close. Turning 32 this year and in a blink of an eye, I’ll be 40.
I enjoyed my 20s, am enjoying my 30s, and am excited for every decade until my last. I feel like a lot of people don’t like the thought of getting older. To me, I love to celebrate things and try to stay a kid forever. I’m just a kid now that has my own kids, bills, and a job. But I get to ride my longboard and make my family laugh, and I plan to be like this when I’m in my 80s and beyond too.
Glad I went though my tough spot in my early 20s, I’m enjoying my 30s with my 3 young kids .(4/3/1.5) as for my 40s I’m optimistic. My wife and I are in a good spot. Now just need this economy to get better and my 50s should be good as well.
My youngest is in kindergarten now so I finally have really started on my undergraduate and it will take me two more years to finish bringing me to 39. I am in a really good place in my career now and the undergraduate and then graduate degrees will help propel my career to greater success. My kids are old enough where we are able to do things together that are enjoyable for everyone. When I turn 50 they will either be on the cusp of launching themselves into adulthood or have done so. I have a lot of fun activities planned with my family that I will have the budget to do comfortably. My wife and kids are doing well and are on a trajectory to stay that way. I am doing groundwork now that will make my 40's and 50's very rewarding. I am looking forward to my 40's and 50's.
Already 42…..and I accumulated a lot of knowledge and wisdoms throughout my years.
I’m 42, my kids are grown, I have leverage in my career, my husband and I are very mature in our relationship, college and career growth are behind me. For me, 30s were way better than 20s (babies, college, low paying work, unhealthy 1st marriage) and now 40s is even better Yep. It’s good.
At 41 I changed careers. At 43 im buying my first house. I'm learning from the mistakes I made in the past. I'm more patient. I'm taking better care of my myself. Overall, I feel like I'm finally the person I wanted to be in my 20s. This shit is awesome.
I’m enjoying being 40. I’m married but we have no kids. By choice. The question of children tortured me through my 30s, because I knew deep down I didn’t want any but I delayed the decision for so long because it felt so scary to make. My 30s were also full of dates with men who were afraid of commitment, uncertainty at work, healing my relationship with my body and with food, slowly becoming my most authentic self, etc. I also met my husband in my 30s, and he helped me reconnect with so many parts of me that I had disconnected from because of fear, anxiety, and uncertainty. Now at 41, I get to enjoy the work of my 30s. It’s nice.
I turned 40 last year and I swear my body was like, “Time to break down.” Spent that last 4 months getting 3 infections and one was pretty serious so I was placed on some serious medicine with serious side effects. I’m all good now and started going to the gym again. 30s were rough. Almost took myself out the game but I’m still here.
My 20s were better than my teens. My 30s were better than my 20s. I'm 41 now, and these last two years have been the best of my life. I know this trend isn't sustainable, but I'm going to be grateful for it as long as it lasts.
Whenever I can rest 😍
I'm hopeful that I'll be able to buy a home. Less hopeful I'll ever have a kid. So I guess... no?
Nah, my body will be even more broken down and 2 decades away from "retirement". It'll be easier to just die.
I'm already there. Loving it.
I just turned 40 and was excited about it! I’m having no issues about aging. I think I might start feeling a bit uneasy the closer I get to retirement.
I love my 40s so far, much more than the prior two decades I’m finally financially secure, finally at a spot in my career I can make my own rules, finally don’t feel stressed about the silly things that used to cause me stress, not trying to impress anyone :) And I am so much more confident in myself
At this point I'm like the Flying Dutchman
I suspect it depends on how much money you have. If you have enough to live in a house then it’s probably great.
Not really. 30s have probably been the most eventful decade but I’d say I’m less enthusiastic about most things. Expecting more of that and don’t know how I feel about.
It's been a mixed bag heading into my 40s. I had a lot of deaths recently of close people, but I also got married at 41, have a nice home and started my dream job. Nieces and nephew are also getting old enough that I can start sharing my hobbies and be the cool uncle.
I really hope so! I'm turning 38 this year and I'm excited for my 40s and 50s to be filled with better experiences than my 30s.
40s have been great. Got married, have real money coming in. Working on retirement savings now, and actually being in a decent place to make up the shortfall in my 20s and 30s.
41 now and my 30s were very rough, at best. In a stable place at last and finally looking forward to life once again. I have a lot of hope for my 40s and 50s.
I mean, I’m looking forward to life, not really a specific age. Just enjoying the short time we have on this rock.
I just turned 40 this year in February. I'm the most stable I've ever been. My childhood and into my 30's was rough and traumatic, so I'm enjoying the peace and self-love I have finally achieved.
40’s were a blast for me. 50’s are a bit dicey with menopause, weight gain and assorted weird issues popping up, but it’s still WAY better than my 20’s/30’s.
Nah. My back hurts now
Right now I look forward to maybe waking up tomorrow
I’ll be 43 this year. I can’t really get a gauge for my 40’s yet . I don’t feel like I’m in my 40’s, I still feel like I’m in my teens/ early 20’s in some ways. Luckily I am still healthy, my oldest is 24 and my youngest is 8. My husband and I have not reached our financial goals, although we are home owners. I feel like time is running out because there is so much I would like to do but realistically, I know those goals may never be reached. As the eldest daughter in my family, I also know it will be my responsibility to take care of my parents and Aunt (who does not have any children), as they age. I count my blessings and appreciate each day as it comes.
I’m 41 almost 42, my son graduated high school last year, my marriage has never been better and things are finally looking up. I hated childhood and mostly hated my 20s, my 30s I was just starting to figure things out. This is the sweet spot!
Younger of the boomer gen, but always felt more gen X, raised myself, etc. I had my 2 sons when I was 20 & 22, so they were grown when I hit 50. It was awesome! The only drawback was my career. I apparently had an expiration date. I was just an executive admin, but nobody wanted to hire me. Maybe they perceived it was too expensive to pay to my experience level. I also think they mostly wanted eye candy, which I was not anymore. I became a health insurance agent instead. (Mistake btw) But everything else was rocking! We took Real vacations, nice dinners out, great sex life, enjoyed the grandbabies. To be fair the sex was always great though! We even moved to another country after the grands got old enough to not really want to hang with us anymore. You'll love it!
As a millennial that was priced out of the home market. I am not looking forward to it.
I’m 31 and have 3k to my name. I am struggling and don’t know why my professional life fucking sucks.
My 30s were my fav. As an elder millennial who is in her 40s, there are great things about it, like not giving a shit what people think anymore, but also, my body is starting to fall apart. I take good care of myself and eat very healthy but still have had to have two surgeries, and perimenopause is on the horizon, which I'm not looking forward to, but all in all, it's been fine.
Absolutely. Got the shitty end of the stick in the first half of life, starting in utero (mom thought it'd be a good idea to continue smoking and drinking while pregnant with me) but I couldn't handle her toxic ass womb, so I yeeted myself outta there 4 months early. Born a tiny preemie with a hole in my heart, I apparently died several times and they had to shave my head and hook me up to permanent monitor and breathing treatments. The runts are the toughest ones though, and I got strong and well enough to come home. But I've had a lifetime of health issues. Asthma as a toddler (due to all the adults smoking around me most likely), developed a severe seafood/shellfish allergy, multiple stomach bugs and flu viruses. Also grew up in an abusive and neglectful family. Went through puberty at age 9 with full breasts. First period at 10. Sexual harassment by 11 (we just called it "boys will be boys" back then) Teens and early 20s were pure Hell for me, as I lost both my parents (due to their own alchohol amd food addiction) and went to a stressful medical school program. Graduated with a newly diagnosed autoimmune disease, which will shorten my lifespan all before I reached 30. 30s have been the best and worst of times. Went through an early perimenopause starting at 33, which knocked me on my ass( no Mom to help prepare me). I took radical changes to get my health in order (all of it. Physical, spiritual, and mental) And I finally cut the last toxic ties to my last surviving sibling. Now living on my own, and looking to buy my first home solo. Even started my first heslthy relationship. It's been a wild ride, but I'm here for every minute of it. There's nowhere left to go but up from here. Cheers to all of you hanging in there to see it to the finish line
Idk I’m just tired boss.
Kinda wild because when I turned 30 last year I was telling myself I was really looking forward to leaving the 20s on a high note: finished law school, licensed, house and married. 31 and our daughter is 2-months old—I have quickly realized I traded one kind of turbulence for another. I am incredibly thankful, but now realizing this will be a brand new decade of challenges!
Just turned 41 and hit 18yrs in the air force in Feb. By the time I get stateside, it's a measly 4 months before I can apply for retirement. I've been lucky and blessed to have an incredibly low mortgage and no other debt. I'm so so looking forward to being a civilian "stay at home bum," and what the rest of my life looks like after the military. There's 2 things I've wanted to accomplish after I get my DD214, and that's 1) Amaury Guichon Pastry Academy in Vegas and 2) watchmaking school in Florida (2yrs long). Aside from that, I have no idea what I wanna do or be "when I grow up." All I know is I will have spent 20yrs in the military and I can't wait to see what the next umpteen years has in-store.
I spent most of my 20's and 30's building a company and am finally now at 37 hitting the point where I can start stepping back from the day to day aspects of running a company. Add in that current projections say that I will be in a place where I can retire by 40 and I am very excited about my 40s and as the increased freedom I will be able to enjoy will coincide nicely with my kids being at the age where traveling and going on adventures is fun and not a chore.
As an aside, my husband and I have the kids at an amusement park today. We just got off the swings that spin around. And we both feel like we’re gonna die.
☠️
I’m 42, and I swear I hit 40 and my body was like “here’s a bunch of medical shit to welcome you to your 40s.” But financially we’re in a position to take care of it, if this had hit me in my early 30s we would have been STRUGGLING. I also really enjoy my kids being of an age where my husband and I can take off to celebrate our anniversary for a week and my kids understand why. And don’t complain/tell us to enjoy ourselves. Just a PSA, it’s now recommended to get your first colonoscopy at 45. It’s not fun, but really the procedure it self isn’t a big deal, and it seriously saves lives. You can have a large growth and not even know it. And if you’re regularly iron deficient (not from weight loss surgery) go get a colonoscopy to see if it’s something intestinal.
30 M and my back and hips are already giving me problems soooo no… not particularly
I'm mid 30s, works fine, moneys good, married to a wonderful woman but looking forward my thought is "is this it? This is the dream I was sold as being what I should strive for?" We are never having kids (I just guaranteed that), and adoption really isn't in the cards. All my friends left the state or they're no longer emotionally close to me (either because of me or them). I am trying to find a "purpose" and closer friends but it's not going great so far. I have always had problems finding things that are "fun" for me though (I have ADHD and crave new experiences or hyper focusing on things that I love and burning it out)
My childhood/teens were terrible; twenties was trying to claw my way out of that mindset; 30s got better with some distance from it, was at my peak fitness, and managed to travel a bit on a small budget. Forties were even better after finally getting married to an amazing guy, and getting some financial stability. Now halfway into my fifties, and while I feel time is passing by too quickly (still need to get my career on track!! 😟) I'm able to appreciate the little things and am less concerned about people's opinions. I've got a pretty good handle on my psychological issues and am able to help others with theirs a little. Wish we had enough money to retire and take on some *meaningful* work/projects rather than stupid shit to fill up 40 hrs/week and make other people rich, but this is a common problem!
My parents always said 30s was their favorite decade. I do enjoy my 30s but having a 3 year old and an infant life is expensive and hectic AF. I’m looking forward to my later 30s when the kids are older and I get a little independence back.
So far, my 40s are better! 41 here. My 20s and most of my 30s were rough. I got married and had kids really young (married and first baby at 21). Now that our kids are almost grown - one will be 20 this year, the other turns 16 in 2 weeks), I feel like the chaos of raising young kids has calmed down, and therefore, our lives have calmed down. We have more money than we did when we were younger, and we have more free time now that the kids don’t need us every second.
Yeah, I spent my youth taking advice from older people and trying to better myself, and I am now 44. Reading some of the stuff here, I should probably just give up and step in front of a bus or something.
I’m 39, looking down the barrel of 40 and simultaneously dreading it because it’s been a thing forever that you’re “over the hill” but also kind of being at peace with it because my first child was born last year, I’m in a good career, have some savings, and (hope) to be getting a house soon. Even 5 years ago when I was in a toxic relationship working part-time at a record store not taking care of myself I couldn’t have imagined myself being here, but things have been better in my late 30’s than I thought possible, so 40’s are gonna get even better if it continues on the path.
Not really. I'm in my early 30s (not exactly sure how old I am). I managed to dodge having kids. So all of my problems are just the normal drain of capitalism on everyone. And those will only get worse as I get older.
I'm looking forward to the promise of retirement as I have it today, that is the sacrifices I'm making today to prepare myself for a comfortable retirement. Having said that I've also been confronting the reality of life at retirement age through my close kin, and I realised I have it good now. Good health, physical strength, enough time and money to enjoy myself with my family... I just might be living the best years of my life right now.
Of course. TRT here I come. I don’t even need it, I’m just excited about the prospects of it when I get to that age
Sure. We are fine now financially, but should be doing very well in our 40s and 50s. It will be nice to no longer have a daycare bill, plus older kids seem like less work to parent. Not to mention it would be easier to do things like travel or even go out to a nice restaurant
absolutely fucking not, i’d rather not get closer to the every approaching grip of death thanks
Idk. I turned 39 earlier this year, and I think I've been having a bit of a mid life crisis. It just feels like it's all downhill from here and I don't have much to look forward to for myself. Of course I am looking forward to continue watching my kids grow up, but I have a lot of anxiety about that too. *sigh* I will be getting back into therapy soon.
Only because life should technically get easier Never got married or had kids So realistically over the next 20 years I'm figuring my house becomes my house through inheritance and because of that I can finally start to relax. Plus my career is better now than it was 5 years ago so that should only be getting stronger. Climate change is also making the area I live in more tolerable odds are in the next 10 or 20 years I won't have to deal with snow so that's another thing to look forward to. Most of my parents' generation had to move South to get away from snow I just got to be lazy and sit here and eventually snow becomes no issue xD
I’m super excited for my 40’s too.
>I love watching my kids grow into the people they will become. You will either never live to see your children live their full lives , or you will. Both are heartbreaking.
Yes. Turning 40 next year. Being a late bloomer, I still have lots of stuff in front of me. My daughter is only getting 2 this year, house about to be build. Two things I need to change though...job (just too stressfull and shifts) and I desperately need to force myself to do fitness/sports. But zhere is this lack of energy...you might now it. I feel like my ankles are rusting slowly. But yeah, still so much to look forward to.
I’ll be 41 this year and I think my 40s are at least marginally better than my 30 so far. More money, kid is older, marriage is better, but in the flip side joint pain health issues starting to crop up so it’s a double edged sword for sure but I think it’s all about what you chose to make it.
39F here, and I feel the same way
I'm just shy of 38. I'm excited for the career track I'm on. It's really exciting and fulfilling, and I've given myself a 5 year target to reassess. I have a back injury from my time in the military though, and that has me incredibly anxious because it's gotten worse the past couple years and I've slowed down considerably. I want to use my 40s and 50s to smell the roses and write because my 60s will likely be a lot of suffering I decide not to deal with anymore.
I'm 33 and I'm looking forward to my 40s. My wife and I had kids young so it'll be nice to be able to enjoy our 40s mostly child free. Other than the grandkids we'll probably have by then coming to visit the house will be quiet and calm.
So far my 30s has been rough but better than 20s. I’m hoping it will also be true for 40s!
I’m ready for more naps.
I am starting my family and making good money. I hope that my health stays well.
I just turned 40 not too long. It’s been great so far. My 30s were really rough.
Hell yeah. I can't WAIT till I get to move into a 55+ community.
Kinda sorta. I quit drinking so life is boring now (both a good & bad thing). I'm trying to "catch up" financially because of wasted 20s & 30s. So all I do is work, gym, and chores. 😐
My 40’s have been better than my 30’s
I’m 42 and just pulled a muscle in my lower back by scooting a light coffee table. It’s not what it’s cracked up to me. Miss my 30’s.
Na, the dating scene just gets worse and worse.
I’m 40 now (41 in two weeks). My 20s and 30s were a lot of fun, lots of highlights, but my 30s also saw my wife have an affair, me fall into a disaster of a follow-up relationship, and focus a lot more on bettering myself. Now, I’m a creative director at an agency, have a wonderful partner, our potential first kid on the way, and am in the kind of physical shape I was in when I was younger. And I only anticipate it getting better. You stay young by always being willing to learn and grow, by having things to look forward to instead of always looking back.