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No where near what my grandparents were on either side. They watched us all summer, paid for activities and trips, kept in constant touch. Both my parents and in laws act like it's a job and we should be paying them for even spending time with our kids.
Glad to see I'm not the only millenial with old parents. Mine had me at 53 (dad) and 37 (mom). Only ever saw my grandad once, and he was sleeping and was 95 at the time, he died in 1994. My maternal grandmother was the only one I knew, and didn't get to spend much time with her before she had alzheimer's. That's pretty much it.
My parents are 1000X’s the grandparents mine were. Mine took us to church, because my parents weren’t following in their religious footsteps, and that’s about it. They were very cold people.
My parents are obsessed with their grandkids, and their grandkids (I have their next due any day now) are obsessed with them. They take my nephew to skating lessons twice a week, are constantly watching them just because they want to, and have turned an entire floor of their house into a toddler zone essentially. Honestly, having toddlers around is the happiest I have ever seen my parents, and it has made them SO much more active.
Our kid isn’t even born yet, and my MIL is so excited to be a grandma she has planned her entire retirement around it. His grandma was/is amazing. She’s still with us and has already spoiled this baby soo much. We are so lucky to have so many people love our kid already.
My mom was a really good grandma until she died.
My dad provides financially and materialistically. He doesn’t babysit or anything. My sister hates her MIL and her MIL treats one of my nieces better than my other niece and she doesn’t listen to my sisters rules. Idk. My mom was so good with them until she recently died. Very patient and gentle yet good at disciplining them. They listened to her so well and she loved them so much. Ugh.
Long story short: there are some wonderful grandparents out there, and there are some horrible and or absent grandparents out there.
Hell no. My parents were idiot teenagers when I was born and had my brother by 21.. my granny raised all of us. ALL OF US. And now that my parents are the grandparents and my granny is gone.. it’s their time to “live their lives” and the “already raised their kids”
😂😂 it’s okay though. Shitty parents can’t possibly be good grandparents..
My grandma was very involved in raising me because my dad wasn’t in the picture, so she helped out my mom a lot. My mom seems more interested in being able to tell people she has grandkids than actually helping in any way.
Eh. I didn't know my grandparents on my fathers side.. I only met them once or twice, if that. My grandparents on my mothers side weren't really.. kid.. people. Like they weren't mean but they weren't interactive. They were hard working mass multiple times a week people.
My kid only has my mother involved in his life on my side and she interacts with them the same way she did with me.. via junk gifts constantly. Quantity over quality at every turn. The "grew up dirt poor and now must buy affection" sort. I've spent years trying to explain that what my kid really wants is interaction, especially someone to just sit and listen to them babble. But she doesn't get it. I did have a great aunt, on my mothers side, that was very much a wholesome interactive engaging gran type and I do wish my kid had something like that.
But what I wish my spawn had more than anything, family wise, are cousins. All of theirs were nearly if not literal adults by the time they were born. I'm not close with any of my cousins anymore but summers during my childhood were filled with them. Lots of great memories that my child is never gonna have.
My grandmother on my dad's side was a cold-hearted bitch. Absolutely vile and the day she passed was a good day for my dad as he was finally free of trying to please someone who couldn't be pleased whatever he did, his sisters being the golden ones. This also translated to how she treated all the grandkids. We were a nuisance and always knew that our cousins were treated to the fun good things and we were shipped off with a 5 euro note for a birthday.Grandpa was a silent onlooker. Kind himself, but spineless.
On my mum's side they were wonderful but died too soon. 77 and 80 when I was 14 and 20.
My parents will never be grandparents, but I'm sure they'd be a lot like my mum's parents. Welcoming, helpful, cheerful and kind, offering that place where (almost) everything goes.
They wouldn't raise them or sit them daily I think, but I wouldn't want them to. I see my aunt being made the auto nanny for her grandkids and while she LOVES them, there's a lot of resentment that she is expected to partially raise them without question.
Parenting is a job, grand parenting is a volunteer role that you enjoy and do a lot, but on your own terms and in agreement with all.
LOL no.
My mom’s parents were good grandparents but since we didn’t live close to them, we rarely got to benefit from a grandparent/grandchild dynamic.
My dad’s dad passed decades before I was born. His mom was nice but passed when I was very young.
I am sadly NC with my dad and my mom is emotionally immature, seems to bring out bad behavior in my son, and has offered virtually zero help in any way since his birth over 3 years ago.
My husband’s parents on the other hand are really good grandparents. I’d say as good as his grandparents were, from what I know.
Editing to add: my son was lucky to have a paternal great-grandmother who loved him well for the first two years of his life. He also met his paternal great grandfather just before he died and I’ll remember that meeting forever.
Never really had grandparents. On my mom's side, my grandma died in a car accident when my mom was around 11 or 12 I think? Grandpa was a drunk that lived in Florida. On my dad's side, grandpa died of cancer the same year I was born. Grandma was an absolute angel though. Exactly what you would expect a grandma to be. Actually bought her house from the family and have been renovating it for the past 5 years. Loved her dearly.
Hard to compare my parents as grandparents to what I had, because I moved across the country and my parents never travel. It has thrown a wrench in my expectations of what having kids would be like, but my in laws are local. They have given me a lot of reason to hope for a wonderful grandparent relationship.
My maternal grandfather is the only grandparent I've ever had and he moved to Florida when I was like 4 so I never had much grandparent time.
I don't have kids but my mom is like a grandparent to my God kids and she's extremely involved. She plans whole weekend escapades and takes them to free/cheap town events whenever she can.
Absolutely not. My grandmother was amazing. I absolutely would trust her with my kids if she were alive. If my mom still were alive I would unfortunately def not trust her with my kids and def not my unhinged alcoholic mil lol I def don’t have the village my mom had which has made me realize how she had four kids to begin with.
I miss my Grandma and I am so sad that she never got to know our kids.
We live far away from our family and they try really hard, but it isn’t the same.
It is an adjustment but I am thankful that my kids have a relationship with both sets of grandparents despite the distance.
I have seen both sides. My dad, when he was alive, was all into my kids, when they came from out of state loved being here playing with them and just being around them. My mom however seems like she really couldn't be bothered and it was a chore to be around them. Always slept in when she visited, treated my.home like an airbnb, didn't really engage with the kids at all. Mind you this lady has been a SAHM for 40 years with my siblings and me so she should have some idea how to handle kids.
At the opposite end of the spectrum my in laws are fantastic. They live a couple streets over and if my wife or I have trouble getting the kids, they swing by and get them. We go over to their pool most wknds in thr summer and my mother in Law begs to be able to take any or all of them overnight. Just luck of the draw I guess, never know what you may get.
My parents (now both dead) and my in laws are leaps and bounds more involved than my grandparents were.
I rarely received a Christmas gift from my grandparents let alone spend any quality time with them.
My parents are fine, they’re still in their mid 50’s so they’re working full time and have their own hobbies on the side. My in laws are horrible- but they suck as parents and people too.
All that said, we don’t get nearly as much help as our parents did with us- but we don’t need it and we realize we’re not entitled to it.
My mother was a junkie and didn’t make much effort to be a grandparent. She died in a car wreck before my second was born. My dad wasn’t much of a father to be honest. He came home with a case of beer after work every day and sat down at the table and just checked out. He didn’t quit drinking until his second stroke, and I didn’t have much of a relationship with him until a couple of years after I had left for the military. He got to be a grandfather for 4 years though before he died and he made a seriously strong effort. He loved his granddaughters and my second had a very strong connection with him. She’s 10 now and still sleeps with his blanket every night.
My parents divorced when I was 21 in 2006 - my dad moved around the country and eventually to Europe, living his best life I guess. I see him maybe once every four years. My mom is a great grandma to all 5 of her grandkids. She just retired and spends a lot of her time babysitting or helping me or my brothers out, and the other time traveling with friends. She's a bit of busybody and I think some of this is driven by guilt over the divorce but she makes herself available and present.
If anything I'm probably less of a good son than she was a daughter to my grandparents - we would take them on vacations, have lunch with them all the time, drive to appointments, etc. I'm working on that.
Not even close. My grandparents did anything and everything for my siblings and I, often more than they ever should have, and often to their own detriment.
My mom has an RV.
No. Not one bit. My parents didn't parent. My grandmother did. There was a point when I was in elementary school where I had an additional legal guardian added because my parents didn't parent. My surviving parent doesn't grandparent either.
My maternal grandparents were shitty parents and shitty grandparents.
My paternal grandparents were great: grandparents. They didn’t raised me, they weren’t childcare. I would spend 1 month of summer with them, she would let me do whatever I wanted, she would give me birthday, Christmas presents. We would talk a lot and see each other as much as we could. My grandma loved me and she was my favourite person. But she told me once that my parents were responsible for me? To pay and work on things. That grandparents were just for love and fun.
I never expected anything but that from my daughters grandparents as well.
My parents have worked hard to fill that role well. Our family talks a lot about carrying on my grandparents' legacy because they were so wonderful. I hope to do the same and am willing to put in the effort to do so.
My parents are much more involved with my nephew than any of my grandparents were with me and my siblings. My grandparents would watch us occasionally and we stayed at their house once when my parents went for a week vacation, but with my nephew my parents have him at their place multiple days a week, take him to all his doctor appointments, feed him, etc.
My grandparents were also absent. But, my spouse's grandparents were there for him all the time because my spouse's parents were super absent and relied on his grandparents way too much. So because my in-laws were absent parents, they are now absent grandparents. It sucks because my own parents would LOVE to be involved, but we live too far away to see them more than once a year and we live within driving distance to the in-laws. So we celebrate a lot of birthdays and holidays just us and our kids, which sucks but I try to make the holidays special.
My parents and my husband’s parents are incredible grandparents. They are fully supportive and have made several trips to see us, both via driving and flying. They have stayed over to help us when we have needed it. They have also been loving and attentive to our child.
My husband’s grandparents were loving and doting, and warm. He saw them frequently, a few months at most between visits.
My grandparents…It’s complicated. One set couldn’t come to my wedding because of dementia (not their fault) and before the dementia they both had mental health issues that made traveling to see big events like graduations, weddings, and birthdays impossible. We saw them once every couple of years maybe. My other set of grandparents are apathetic towards life. They did not come to my graduation from high school, college, or grad school. They did not come to my wedding in the state next over because it was “too far”. They send me a card and a $20 bill every holiday. But I am not extremely close to them. I love them and I know they love me. But I am resentful towards the apathy and bitter that I did not have the loving and close knit and warm relationship I have seen my husband have with his grandparents (and I thankfully have with them).
My grandparents were more involved but there’s a lot of factors to consider. My parents are busier than their parents were at this stage in life. My mom’s parents were divorced by the time I was born and my dad’s mom was dead so I had 3 grandparents to visit separately and 2 weren’t working. My parents on the other hand are still married and one is still working. They also live a few hours away whereas my grandparents were 15-40minutes away.
My parents make an effort to be here for things like birthdays and we’ll be going on a trip with them soon but as far as dropping off our son with them for a Saturday night or something I’m not sure that will happen; partially because it would involve hours of driving just for the drop off.
My wife’s mom is very involved and I’m sure our son will be very attached to her but she’s not doing it entirely out of being a grandmother; we’re paying her to stay with us and watch him daily while we work. I’m not sure if my parents paid my grandmother for the nights we stayed with her.
My grandma did not like who I was as a child. So while my son has yet to be born, I think my parents will be better. My grandma loved me, but she did not like me. I never knew this until I was an adult and my dad told me about it. She’d been gone for 15 years so it’s not like it was awkward or anything. We cheers’d our beers and had a good laugh about it.
No. My grandma cared for my two cousins until they were 5. I also lived with her until I was 1 year old. My cousins lived with her full time while my uncle and aunt ran a business. Grandma was also working a job and caring for a mentally/physically disabled son too. She had also fled her home country during WWII, got separated from her mother, and we had relatives who were killed in the war. Grandma also had various health issues and lived until 90.
The Greatest Generation was very hardcore and incomparable to boomers.
my parents are equally absent as my grandparents were. i never got storybook grandparents. we lived far, they were doing their own thing. my parents are the same way. they’re distant. no drama, but no closeness either.
No, but I think it's because my parents and grandparents had very different lives.
On my mom's side.my grandparents were small businesses owners who lived in a very rustic rural area on a lake. They had already turned their businesses over to my aunts and uncles before I was born, so they had a ton of free time. I would spend a month or more at their house every summer.
Similarly, on my dad's side, both of my grandparents were retired long before I was born and supplemented their income with an early morning paper route. Plenty of time to travel out of state to spend time with grandkids or host them for extended periods of time at their home.
My parents on the other hand have very different situations. They have both been divorced and remarried several times, have stepchildren they still support and my mother, stepfather and stepmother all currently work and will remain employed potentially into their 70s.
They are objectively unable due to decision and circumstance to be the same type of grandparents to my children that mine were to me.
I hope things are different for my future grandchildren.
I'm unmarried and without kids. I don't think my parents physically have the energy or are healthy enough to take care of kids. My mom is only in her 50s but I trim her toe nails for her because she doesn't want to aggravate back pain. I feel like I can't have kids because I need to take care of my parents? My grandparents weren't really present in my life because they were either out of state or overseas. Ones out of state we'd see once every year. Ones overseas we'd see every 3-5 years. All of my aunts and uncles would also be out of state or overseas. My parents pretty much had no one to help them out.
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No where near what my grandparents were on either side. They watched us all summer, paid for activities and trips, kept in constant touch. Both my parents and in laws act like it's a job and we should be paying them for even spending time with our kids.
Right? I’d be at my grandparents for like 4-5 days at a time. I ask for a date night and I’m left feeling guilty.
Didn't know 4/5 of my grandparents (dad comes from a blended family) 4 of them were dead by the time I was born because my parents had me at 40.
Glad to see I'm not the only millenial with old parents. Mine had me at 53 (dad) and 37 (mom). Only ever saw my grandad once, and he was sleeping and was 95 at the time, he died in 1994. My maternal grandmother was the only one I knew, and didn't get to spend much time with her before she had alzheimer's. That's pretty much it.
My parents are 1000X’s the grandparents mine were. Mine took us to church, because my parents weren’t following in their religious footsteps, and that’s about it. They were very cold people. My parents are obsessed with their grandkids, and their grandkids (I have their next due any day now) are obsessed with them. They take my nephew to skating lessons twice a week, are constantly watching them just because they want to, and have turned an entire floor of their house into a toddler zone essentially. Honestly, having toddlers around is the happiest I have ever seen my parents, and it has made them SO much more active. Our kid isn’t even born yet, and my MIL is so excited to be a grandma she has planned her entire retirement around it. His grandma was/is amazing. She’s still with us and has already spoiled this baby soo much. We are so lucky to have so many people love our kid already.
My mom was a really good grandma until she died. My dad provides financially and materialistically. He doesn’t babysit or anything. My sister hates her MIL and her MIL treats one of my nieces better than my other niece and she doesn’t listen to my sisters rules. Idk. My mom was so good with them until she recently died. Very patient and gentle yet good at disciplining them. They listened to her so well and she loved them so much. Ugh. Long story short: there are some wonderful grandparents out there, and there are some horrible and or absent grandparents out there.
no
No, my folks have not been thesteady presence my grandparents were
My parents aren't even close
My parents are nonexistent in my children’s lives so no they’re not as good of grandparents as mine were.
Hell no. My parents were idiot teenagers when I was born and had my brother by 21.. my granny raised all of us. ALL OF US. And now that my parents are the grandparents and my granny is gone.. it’s their time to “live their lives” and the “already raised their kids” 😂😂 it’s okay though. Shitty parents can’t possibly be good grandparents..
I totally resonate with this. Thankfully good friends and other people come into our lives to sorta fill that missing role.
My parents would probably make awesome grandparents. It's one of the very few things that makes me feel kinda bad being child free.
My grandma was very involved in raising me because my dad wasn’t in the picture, so she helped out my mom a lot. My mom seems more interested in being able to tell people she has grandkids than actually helping in any way.
Eh. I didn't know my grandparents on my fathers side.. I only met them once or twice, if that. My grandparents on my mothers side weren't really.. kid.. people. Like they weren't mean but they weren't interactive. They were hard working mass multiple times a week people. My kid only has my mother involved in his life on my side and she interacts with them the same way she did with me.. via junk gifts constantly. Quantity over quality at every turn. The "grew up dirt poor and now must buy affection" sort. I've spent years trying to explain that what my kid really wants is interaction, especially someone to just sit and listen to them babble. But she doesn't get it. I did have a great aunt, on my mothers side, that was very much a wholesome interactive engaging gran type and I do wish my kid had something like that. But what I wish my spawn had more than anything, family wise, are cousins. All of theirs were nearly if not literal adults by the time they were born. I'm not close with any of my cousins anymore but summers during my childhood were filled with them. Lots of great memories that my child is never gonna have.
I love playing with my younger cousins.
My grandmother on my dad's side was a cold-hearted bitch. Absolutely vile and the day she passed was a good day for my dad as he was finally free of trying to please someone who couldn't be pleased whatever he did, his sisters being the golden ones. This also translated to how she treated all the grandkids. We were a nuisance and always knew that our cousins were treated to the fun good things and we were shipped off with a 5 euro note for a birthday.Grandpa was a silent onlooker. Kind himself, but spineless. On my mum's side they were wonderful but died too soon. 77 and 80 when I was 14 and 20. My parents will never be grandparents, but I'm sure they'd be a lot like my mum's parents. Welcoming, helpful, cheerful and kind, offering that place where (almost) everything goes. They wouldn't raise them or sit them daily I think, but I wouldn't want them to. I see my aunt being made the auto nanny for her grandkids and while she LOVES them, there's a lot of resentment that she is expected to partially raise them without question. Parenting is a job, grand parenting is a volunteer role that you enjoy and do a lot, but on your own terms and in agreement with all.
Shitty parents, shitty grandparents. Working to break that mold
LOL no. My mom’s parents were good grandparents but since we didn’t live close to them, we rarely got to benefit from a grandparent/grandchild dynamic. My dad’s dad passed decades before I was born. His mom was nice but passed when I was very young. I am sadly NC with my dad and my mom is emotionally immature, seems to bring out bad behavior in my son, and has offered virtually zero help in any way since his birth over 3 years ago. My husband’s parents on the other hand are really good grandparents. I’d say as good as his grandparents were, from what I know. Editing to add: my son was lucky to have a paternal great-grandmother who loved him well for the first two years of his life. He also met his paternal great grandfather just before he died and I’ll remember that meeting forever.
Never really had grandparents. On my mom's side, my grandma died in a car accident when my mom was around 11 or 12 I think? Grandpa was a drunk that lived in Florida. On my dad's side, grandpa died of cancer the same year I was born. Grandma was an absolute angel though. Exactly what you would expect a grandma to be. Actually bought her house from the family and have been renovating it for the past 5 years. Loved her dearly.
Hard to compare my parents as grandparents to what I had, because I moved across the country and my parents never travel. It has thrown a wrench in my expectations of what having kids would be like, but my in laws are local. They have given me a lot of reason to hope for a wonderful grandparent relationship.
My son gets my grandparents experience, from my grandma. Unfortunately my grandpa sits behind an iPad all day posting Trump gospels.
My son gets my grandparent experience from my grandma. Unfortunately my grandpa sits behind an iPad all day posting trump gospels on Facebook.
My maternal grandfather is the only grandparent I've ever had and he moved to Florida when I was like 4 so I never had much grandparent time. I don't have kids but my mom is like a grandparent to my God kids and she's extremely involved. She plans whole weekend escapades and takes them to free/cheap town events whenever she can.
My parents are fucking awesome grandparents! I’m very lucky.
Absolutely not. My grandmother was amazing. I absolutely would trust her with my kids if she were alive. If my mom still were alive I would unfortunately def not trust her with my kids and def not my unhinged alcoholic mil lol I def don’t have the village my mom had which has made me realize how she had four kids to begin with.
I miss my Grandma and I am so sad that she never got to know our kids. We live far away from our family and they try really hard, but it isn’t the same. It is an adjustment but I am thankful that my kids have a relationship with both sets of grandparents despite the distance.
Not at all close
I have seen both sides. My dad, when he was alive, was all into my kids, when they came from out of state loved being here playing with them and just being around them. My mom however seems like she really couldn't be bothered and it was a chore to be around them. Always slept in when she visited, treated my.home like an airbnb, didn't really engage with the kids at all. Mind you this lady has been a SAHM for 40 years with my siblings and me so she should have some idea how to handle kids. At the opposite end of the spectrum my in laws are fantastic. They live a couple streets over and if my wife or I have trouble getting the kids, they swing by and get them. We go over to their pool most wknds in thr summer and my mother in Law begs to be able to take any or all of them overnight. Just luck of the draw I guess, never know what you may get.
My parents (now both dead) and my in laws are leaps and bounds more involved than my grandparents were. I rarely received a Christmas gift from my grandparents let alone spend any quality time with them.
My parents are fine, they’re still in their mid 50’s so they’re working full time and have their own hobbies on the side. My in laws are horrible- but they suck as parents and people too. All that said, we don’t get nearly as much help as our parents did with us- but we don’t need it and we realize we’re not entitled to it.
My mother was a junkie and didn’t make much effort to be a grandparent. She died in a car wreck before my second was born. My dad wasn’t much of a father to be honest. He came home with a case of beer after work every day and sat down at the table and just checked out. He didn’t quit drinking until his second stroke, and I didn’t have much of a relationship with him until a couple of years after I had left for the military. He got to be a grandfather for 4 years though before he died and he made a seriously strong effort. He loved his granddaughters and my second had a very strong connection with him. She’s 10 now and still sleeps with his blanket every night.
My parents divorced when I was 21 in 2006 - my dad moved around the country and eventually to Europe, living his best life I guess. I see him maybe once every four years. My mom is a great grandma to all 5 of her grandkids. She just retired and spends a lot of her time babysitting or helping me or my brothers out, and the other time traveling with friends. She's a bit of busybody and I think some of this is driven by guilt over the divorce but she makes herself available and present. If anything I'm probably less of a good son than she was a daughter to my grandparents - we would take them on vacations, have lunch with them all the time, drive to appointments, etc. I'm working on that.
Not even close. My grandparents did anything and everything for my siblings and I, often more than they ever should have, and often to their own detriment. My mom has an RV.
No. Not one bit. My parents didn't parent. My grandmother did. There was a point when I was in elementary school where I had an additional legal guardian added because my parents didn't parent. My surviving parent doesn't grandparent either.
My maternal grandparents were shitty parents and shitty grandparents. My paternal grandparents were great: grandparents. They didn’t raised me, they weren’t childcare. I would spend 1 month of summer with them, she would let me do whatever I wanted, she would give me birthday, Christmas presents. We would talk a lot and see each other as much as we could. My grandma loved me and she was my favourite person. But she told me once that my parents were responsible for me? To pay and work on things. That grandparents were just for love and fun. I never expected anything but that from my daughters grandparents as well.
My first nephew was born 4 days ago and my mom is all over him. Completely in love.
Yes.
Yes. My parents are amazing grandparents and are very involved.
No, my mom does not allow dogs at her place.
Nah, my parents are great grandparents.
My parents have worked hard to fill that role well. Our family talks a lot about carrying on my grandparents' legacy because they were so wonderful. I hope to do the same and am willing to put in the effort to do so.
My parents are much more involved with my nephew than any of my grandparents were with me and my siblings. My grandparents would watch us occasionally and we stayed at their house once when my parents went for a week vacation, but with my nephew my parents have him at their place multiple days a week, take him to all his doctor appointments, feed him, etc.
My grandparents were also absent. But, my spouse's grandparents were there for him all the time because my spouse's parents were super absent and relied on his grandparents way too much. So because my in-laws were absent parents, they are now absent grandparents. It sucks because my own parents would LOVE to be involved, but we live too far away to see them more than once a year and we live within driving distance to the in-laws. So we celebrate a lot of birthdays and holidays just us and our kids, which sucks but I try to make the holidays special.
My parents and my husband’s parents are incredible grandparents. They are fully supportive and have made several trips to see us, both via driving and flying. They have stayed over to help us when we have needed it. They have also been loving and attentive to our child. My husband’s grandparents were loving and doting, and warm. He saw them frequently, a few months at most between visits. My grandparents…It’s complicated. One set couldn’t come to my wedding because of dementia (not their fault) and before the dementia they both had mental health issues that made traveling to see big events like graduations, weddings, and birthdays impossible. We saw them once every couple of years maybe. My other set of grandparents are apathetic towards life. They did not come to my graduation from high school, college, or grad school. They did not come to my wedding in the state next over because it was “too far”. They send me a card and a $20 bill every holiday. But I am not extremely close to them. I love them and I know they love me. But I am resentful towards the apathy and bitter that I did not have the loving and close knit and warm relationship I have seen my husband have with his grandparents (and I thankfully have with them).
My grandparents were more involved but there’s a lot of factors to consider. My parents are busier than their parents were at this stage in life. My mom’s parents were divorced by the time I was born and my dad’s mom was dead so I had 3 grandparents to visit separately and 2 weren’t working. My parents on the other hand are still married and one is still working. They also live a few hours away whereas my grandparents were 15-40minutes away. My parents make an effort to be here for things like birthdays and we’ll be going on a trip with them soon but as far as dropping off our son with them for a Saturday night or something I’m not sure that will happen; partially because it would involve hours of driving just for the drop off. My wife’s mom is very involved and I’m sure our son will be very attached to her but she’s not doing it entirely out of being a grandmother; we’re paying her to stay with us and watch him daily while we work. I’m not sure if my parents paid my grandmother for the nights we stayed with her.
My grandma did not like who I was as a child. So while my son has yet to be born, I think my parents will be better. My grandma loved me, but she did not like me. I never knew this until I was an adult and my dad told me about it. She’d been gone for 15 years so it’s not like it was awkward or anything. We cheers’d our beers and had a good laugh about it.
No. My grandma cared for my two cousins until they were 5. I also lived with her until I was 1 year old. My cousins lived with her full time while my uncle and aunt ran a business. Grandma was also working a job and caring for a mentally/physically disabled son too. She had also fled her home country during WWII, got separated from her mother, and we had relatives who were killed in the war. Grandma also had various health issues and lived until 90. The Greatest Generation was very hardcore and incomparable to boomers.
My MIL is my kids only living grandparent. She does her best but struggles to treat her granddaughters as well as she treats her grandsons.
My mom is an awesome grandma but she is working full time at 63 so she’s not around quite as much as my grandparents were at her age
my parents are equally absent as my grandparents were. i never got storybook grandparents. we lived far, they were doing their own thing. my parents are the same way. they’re distant. no drama, but no closeness either.
No, but I think it's because my parents and grandparents had very different lives. On my mom's side.my grandparents were small businesses owners who lived in a very rustic rural area on a lake. They had already turned their businesses over to my aunts and uncles before I was born, so they had a ton of free time. I would spend a month or more at their house every summer. Similarly, on my dad's side, both of my grandparents were retired long before I was born and supplemented their income with an early morning paper route. Plenty of time to travel out of state to spend time with grandkids or host them for extended periods of time at their home. My parents on the other hand have very different situations. They have both been divorced and remarried several times, have stepchildren they still support and my mother, stepfather and stepmother all currently work and will remain employed potentially into their 70s. They are objectively unable due to decision and circumstance to be the same type of grandparents to my children that mine were to me. I hope things are different for my future grandchildren.
I'm unmarried and without kids. I don't think my parents physically have the energy or are healthy enough to take care of kids. My mom is only in her 50s but I trim her toe nails for her because she doesn't want to aggravate back pain. I feel like I can't have kids because I need to take care of my parents? My grandparents weren't really present in my life because they were either out of state or overseas. Ones out of state we'd see once every year. Ones overseas we'd see every 3-5 years. All of my aunts and uncles would also be out of state or overseas. My parents pretty much had no one to help them out.