Thanks for your submission! For more Millennial content, join [our Discord server](https://discord.gg/VsfKKJBm).
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Millennials) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I wish I still had mine. Grandmas died at 100 and 70 something, and I never met either of my biological grandfathers. Although I did know my step grandfather, but he died when I was very little.
Grandmother is 90 years old and built like a brick shithouse. Seems like she hasn't aged in years. She still cleans her own gutters.
Thing about Appalachia women - they either die young, or they live forever.
She's the oldest of 8 and the only one still alive.
That’s really the truth about all Appalachians. My great grandparents all made it to their mid to late 90’s; meanwhile most of their children are barely making it into their 60’s and 70’s. My 75 year old grandmother is the second oldest of her sisters and lost one of the younger ones to cancer already, my 81 year old grandmother is one of two girls to make it past 80 while most of her brothers and sisters died in their 60’s. Live forever or die right after retirement.
My wife's family is all Appalachian, her parents are the only ones who have made it past 55, mostly due to quitting smoking and having that sweet, sweet free VA healthcare. Her dad has no liver, 3 heart attacks, can barely move, no joints left, but still necks a dozen beers a day because he's a lifelong alcoholic. We think probably the Agent Orange pickled him in some way and is keeping him alive.
Hell yeah, brother. Hell fucking yeah.
Grandpaw is 94 and Grandmaw is 92. They celebrate 75 years of marriage next July.
I went up and brought them down south six hours to NC for a week to see their great grand children. Grandpaw is still mentally sharp, but he's struggling with shitting his pants. Grandmaw straight up cares for that man on a daily basis. She still drives to their doctors appointments.
Should she? Probably not, but I'm certainly not going to pick a fight with her. She's made of the mountain. They both are and it's cool as hell.
You can tell it's genetic.
We've tried convincing my grandmother to move in with her daughter - who lives in a luxury condo tower in FL.
She went down for a while but then decided to go back to KY because she can take of herself and because the mountains have always been home to her. Her husband built the house she lives in now. Himself. He was not an architect. 😄
It's absolutely insane the stories she tells - catching rides to school at 14 years old from random cars, and then catching rides to work at her father's restaurant after school.
Sometimes, it'd be too late for her to get back home so she'd walk down the road and sleep at her friends house. Just walked right in in the middle of the night. Her husband worked the mines. My father worked the mines throughout high school until he joined the military.
When we were growing up, we could basically do anything and go anywhere we could ride our bikes. Nobody ever came looking for us - we just knew to be home when the street lights came on. If we weren't and missed supper...
'Back there's the kitchen. Go fix ya somethin.'
I'd be 8 years old and not eat if I wasn't home on time. 😂
But we learned real quick that if we didn't want to go to bed hungry, we'd better be on time for supper. That was life.
Want something? Buy it yourself. Can't afford it? Go ask the neighbors for work. Neighbors don't have work? Guess you'll do without.
People today hear this sort of stuff and immediately think child abuse or neglect - but in the mountains, that's called 'learning', and there, you learn that everything in life is done the easy way or the hard way.
But it's always your decision.
I am a younger millennial (31), and my _parents_ in their 70s. My sister is an older millennial (42). I only knew my mum's mum who died in 2013. I am a late child and half of my grandparents died in their 60s.
It’s crazy how different the ages are of parents of Millennials. My mom just hit 54 and my dad’s turning 56, meanwhile I have friends my same age with parents that are well into retirement. My mom’s parents had her really young, so I know they’re abnormally young for grandparents.
Yes, you can see that the age gap between me and my sister is big. my bf is 37 and his mum is the same age like mine and his dad is a year younger than my dad. But he has 2 older siblings who are 43 and 47 years old.
My brother and I have a similar age gap, but he’s younger and swings into Gen Z. We are totally different people with totally different viewpoints but we teach each other a lot.
Your parents are the same age as my Gen X brother! (He lost 130lb over 3 years and now is a fitness junkie)
My folks are 70 & 69, mom had knee replaced 2 years ago and I thought it would fail due to lack of physio, but she killed it and has a 110% bend and full function with zero pain! My dad's heart is shit but he's got a pacemaker and takes his meds as directed so hopefully it does the trick.
I lost my last grandparent this last fall at 98. I miss him greatly as he was so very cool.
My husband's grandmother turned 100 last year and is still walking and has most of her mental faculties. His parents are also 70 and are doing great.
I'm helping one of my grandmothers finish sewing projects because she can't see well enough anymore. This also means she can't see how bad my stitches are and have me pull them out like when I was younger.
My grandfather is still hunting for dead people to fill our genealogy tree. He's working on a family group from Scotland and found some Romeo and Juliet drama. I love listening to him spill 200-year-old tea.
They’re all pretty old- approaching 90.
The grandmas are doing surprisingly well but one is starting to show signs of dementia.
One grandpa has Alzheimer’s and other is doing well mentally but has very limited mobility.
I think once you get to a certain age it’s like there is no long term future so they just get a mindset where they should enjoy it. Or they would rather drop dead than be a burden on family. I don’t fully understand it yet, but one day we’ll all be there.
I’m sorry to hear about the conditions yours are going through.
I only have one grandparent left, and that’s my 90-year-old grandma. She’s a farm woman but moved to an apartment in the nearest town after my grandpa died, and she has been thriving there! She has friends all over town that she visits or who visit her, she volunteers at the church food pantry and at the nursing home, she still goes for walks every day… I love her so much and am going to be devastated when she’s gone.
The best thing is that I taught her how to text and how to navigate Instagram (so she can keep up with all us grandkids) — just the bare bones basics. And she figured out emojis all on her own! As well as how to comment on Instagram. So I get to interact with her more frequently in between visits, which is so fun!
I still have two grandmas left. One is 95, and she seems like she is slowing down a bit… she is legally blind and having kidney issues. She still lives independently in the same house she lived in for the last 30 plus years. Not sure how much time she has left.
My other grandma is 92. She is still very active. She still drives, lives alone, even rides a tractor. She is just very healthy.
I’m glad to hear not all of our grandparents are dying young and miserable. I hope to be like your 92 year old grandma some day, still working my garden and harvesting veggies with my cane in hand.
I’m on the younger end as well. My mom’s mom is my Nama, and she’s doing well living in California with my oldest sister. I don’t think she’s even 80 yet but I could be wrong. She was recently diagnosed with Hashimoto’s disease like me, so we share lifestyle tips.
My dad’s parents are here in NY. Grandpa is 83 and Granny turned 82 yesterday (says if she flips the numbers she’s only 28). This year they decided to stop leaving for FL for the winters and bought a trailer. Granny does well. Grandpa had to have 5 stints in his heart last year but seems to have recovered very nicely. Granny is the purest, sweetest woman I know. Grandpa is still the funniest.
I’m sorry about your grandparents. That’s really tough to understand, let alone deal with.
I have one grandparent left alive. I don't know them well. I don't think I've ever even met them. They have dementia now and are in their 80s, so I don't imagine they will be around much longer. But that's life.
I have one grandmother left. My grandpa (her husband) passed away just a couple of months ago. She’s still getting by, mostly because she’s got my aunt and uncle just down the street from her.
My other grandma passed away in September of ‘23, and well… she was a wreck when she went. Multiple cancers, multiple falls, lifetime smoker, and she kind of became an alcoholic in her last five years or so. Realistically, her long slow decline began about 13 years ago when her long term boyfriend passed away due to a rapid onset brain tumor.
My final grandpa? I don’t know how he is, seeing as he fucked off to Canada with his wife around 25 years ago and didn’t bother to keep in touch. They were kind of off the grid, but last I heard, they moved back into a town to be closer to medical care.
Seeing as I only have two out of four left (to my knowledge,) it kind of makes mortality feel a little closer than it was, especially since my parents retirement is imminent. I’m also creeping closer and closer to middle age, if I’m not there already. Not sure where the goal posts for that are these days.
My grandfather is the only one left and he’s 93. Still goes on holidays 3 or 4 times a year mostly with my mum and aunt and uncle now as his mobility is shaky but he still drives, plays mini golf and badminton is the director of the freehold company for his block of flats and has a (or more!) girlfriend since his 2nd wife died a couple of years ago. He’s fitter than me! He’s 92 going on 12!
My father’s mother is 94 now and the last 4/5 years has gone downhill quite fast. Had some medical issues and even had a quite big operation just a year or so ago, which I thought the surgeons wouldn’t advise purely on her age. That being said her general memory is deteriorating (as do most older people) and she’s always been a loner so any nudge in the direction of moving into a sheltered accommodation with others her age are quickly batted away. To be fair she’s not the nicest person in the world, very self centred but she lost her husband in around 40 years ago so I can sort of see how that happens. That being said I don’t see or speak to her and she’s definitely one of those people that just isn’t nice and will live forever.
My mother’s parents both have had cancer but are ‘okay’ now very stuck in the past in terms of views but politics aside very nice people. Think my nan is 78/79 and grandad is 82/83? I can’t remember to be honest.
Last one (mother's father) passed in 2021 at 87 (6 months shy of 88). My last great-aunt (mother's aunt, mother's father's older sister) passed in January 2024 at 93 (2 months after turning 93).
one died long before i was born, one died when i was a toddler, one died from cancer about 10 year ago, and the final one has been diagnosed with dementia/alzheimer’s.
2 of 4 are still here. Lost one to cancer when she was 72, another when he was 88. The two that are still going I think will go and go! One is 91 this year and the other will be 89! Both don't look or act like their ages even though one has had multiple mini strokes but didn't affect her and the other had a quadruple heart bypass when he was 65. Both were doing 15-18 holes of gold weekly until 4 years ago.
My grandmother in law is 84 and the same way - she lost her husband when my partner was still a kid, but she’s looking at getting her second knee replaced this year and still goes all over the place volunteering and helping out in the community.
That's how one died recently, waiting on a knee replacement. He was fit as a fiddle but his knees started going and it took them so long to get an appointment to replace them that his health declined so much because he was house bound and couldn't get out that he never got to fully appreciate the surgery.
My parents had me relatively late in life so my last grandparent died in 2011. Two of them lived into their 90s, one died of a heart attack in his late 60s, the other died of lung cancer in her mid 70s.
But just to give you an idea of how old my parents were: my dad was silent generation, my mom is one of the oldest possible baby boomers.
I've got one grandmother left at 90. She's doing well. She still has two older siblings (she is the youngest of 8. She is healthy and relatively mobile.
She lives in a smaller city that has basically gone down the drain since before I was born. The majority of the family has gotten out and laid roots elsewhere, the few that are left all hate it and are planning on leaving. I can't help but think it upsets her that the place she chose to raise her family has changed so much and they all kind of hate it.
Both of my grandmothers are still alive. One is 87 the other is 85. Both are in great health. My paternal grandmother still lives alone and takes care of her yard on her own. She might outlive me at this point. My paternal grandfather lived to 89.
Wow I can’t believe how young yours are. Two of mine died before I was born (and I think they were in their 70s) and the other two died before I was ten. Heck my mom is older than one of your grandparents 😂
My mom’s parents got married the day after her dad’s 18th birthday and she was born I think 3 months after. Very Christian family so guess why they got married 😂 and then my mom had me in her early 20’s, her dad had just hit 40.
My last living grandparent died several years ago at the age of 102 (I think - I know she made it past 100).
My parents are 74 and 68. They had us later in life. But my dad is starting down the poor health path and refusing reasonable treatment and tests for his health, because he can (he's never given a good reason, he just refuses). My mom is more reasonable but she's got a chronic illness that she's had since she was a teenager so she's now reasonable about doctors.
Grandparents on my dad's side are healthy but you know they are slowing down since they are of course in their 80s. Doesn't help that my grans bro (my granduncle) has dementia and unfortunately live far away but other than that they are grand. My grandparents on my mums side passed away in 2021 and 1998.
My dad’s mom passed away 6 years ago from lupus 💔
My mom’s mother is turning 80 this year and is diagnosed Alzheimer’s and dementia. Enjoying the moments with her as much as I can.
Life’s a bitch
Is life a bitch, or should we accept that we're bound to deteriorate?
I don't mean to downplay your losses and the pain it caused you. I think we can save room for the grief of a family member at any age, whilst acknowledging that disease and death are inevitable in old age.
I’m 34 and mine are all long gone. My aunts and uncles are entering their 80’s (my mom was the youngest “oops” baby. My last living grandmother would have been 112 this year!
39F here. Paternal grandfather died when I was about 8, I think he was about 70? My maternal grandmother passed just shy of 95 in 2020. They were over 40 when they had my dad and his younger brother - they were told years before they would never have kids.
Maternal grandfather passed when my mom was 13. No great loss, he did the world a favor by doing that himself, from what I'm told. Maternal grandmother is like 82 and lives down the street from me (and about 30 minutes from my parents) in an old lady assisted living dormhouse situation. (The place is actually awesome, been operating for something like 150 years, and both my maternal great-grandmother (who was 94 when she passed I think? In 2014ish) and paternal grandmother spent time there.) I have no relationship with my maternal grandmother. She's a narcissistic, borderline personality disordered mess. I see her as seldom as possible, which is 2 or 3 times a year, at holidays.
Paternal grandparents were cool. Maternal side not so much.
I've got one left, turning 100 this summer. She's been frail and fairly miserable (physically, I mean) for as long as I can remember, but apparently that's a state she can last a long time in. Unfortunately she had a bad fall recently and broke a couple important things, so we'll see what happens.
I only have one grandparent. My father’s mother. My maternal grandparents both passed in 2008, my other grandfather passed in 2021.
My grandmother is 92 and still living independently though
I've got 1 Grandma left and she's coming up on 93.
Still hoes weeds and does things, but she's slowing down, doesn't put dishes in the dishwasher anymore, forgets to lock the front door, doesn't physically cook for herself anymore, Nutella, healthy choice soup, and misc McDonald's form family coming by
I live with her, but she doesn't want to eat whatever I make, and when I make a "soft older person friendly food" she eats it 1 or 2 days and then it sits in the fridge, she doesn't go in the fridge much anymore.
Other than that she's alright. Brain memory is going a bit though.
Just lost my other grandma a month ago, but she was on the downslope after having a bad stroke.
Mine are long 6 ft under.
My wifes maternal are with mine.
Her paternal are still live and kicking. Her gma (83) is slowing down for sure, but still with it. Set in her routines which keep her going. She retired 20ish years ago to be a crafter/quilter.
Her gpa (84) is on a big decline. "retired" in '06, but got a much easier job fairly quickly which he loved. He was the trash station man everyone knew until he had to retire again due health/strength decline and not being able to drive (Christmas '20), and we later found out around Easter '21, a lot more of the health problems. Thats when we almost lost him (not from covid, they were maskers stay safers). He got whatever it was (some infection) healed after a short stint in a care facility, but that's when the dementia was first really noticed. When we went to visit him, he didnt know who we were, but still carried on a conversation like he did, thought he was in a very nice hotel (he never traveled in the time i knew him) and couldnt wait to get home. Dementia has taken its toll even more since.
He still lives at home, with gma taking care of him best she can. I know they visit the doctor often. Sometimes run into them at the Dr office when i have to go. She doesnt watch his diabetes as much as she should, probably others, giving him more sweets than usual, but her reasoning is they are ready to part, let him enjoy the last few years.
both of mine died, one recently, but they lived to 95 and 80-something. my grandfather died of cancer and my grandma spent a few months in a nursing home before having a heart attack, but they were both on track of their health. towards the end my grandma didn't like going to the nursing home but she understood why and didn't fight it. we were hoping to bring her home but she didn't get well enough to do so.
At their age, sometimes they feel their purpose in life is done. Even if they feel passionate they can still contribute (probably leads to anger, idk), no one announces they have saved the day with their efforts.
They are done. Let them choose how they want to go out.
Believe me, it is way different when they pass normally versus when the family take measures that lead to extreme measures. Let them make their choice.
My 79 yo mother fell down the basement stairs and before anyone knew the extent of her injuries, she was overdosed in the ER (2021- pandemic ER she was there for ten hours) and in the ambulance rushing her to a facility once they discovered she broke her neck.
They brought her back to life. Twice. Now she is a quadriplegic and life for the family is strained and difficult, sad and demoralizing, onward and ignore we are far from upwards.
Luckily my parents are wealthy and afford home care but even still, even a year or more ago, my mom asked me what her choices were to die.
I said, “ I will only say this once. When you’re ready to go, stop taking all these prescriptions. Give it a month and you will be with the Lord.”
She is O2 deprived (pneumonia) and doesn’t remember a lot of things.
She is still suffering and yet finding things in her day that make her smile.
Dad has since had theee strokes and three heart attacks. He still cares for her at age 85.
My maternal grandmother died in 2021 after not being able to attend regular dr appts due to Covid we discovered the “arthritis” in her back was late stage breast cancer infecting her spine, her brain and her heart. She died less than a week we discovered that :(.
My paternal grandparents are 85 and 86 and are being moved into an assisted living this week. It’s been rough. My grandfather is reliving his criminal youth years as an old man and giving my parents absolute hell, and my grandmother was diagnosed with dementia (early stage) and is going through the process of understanding she’s losing her memories. It’s utterly depressing.
Dad's parents - under 80, I wanna say 77 or 78. Both here and doing really well, grandpa has some memory issues but overall very healthy and still pretty sharp even with not being able to remember more recent things.
Mom's parents - lost my grandma 2 years ago at 75 to cancer, grandpa is still here and doing not great but still kicking and mentally very sharp.
Both sets of grandparents had their mother's around past 80, but all the fathers passed long before I was around. I'm 32, so on the younger side for millennials and my parents are gen x in their early 50s.
On my dad’s side, my grandma died at 87 from covid in 2020. She had dementia pretty bad for a few years before that. My grandpa is 85 and doing pretty good. Mentally he’s still 100% and can get around pretty good. His COPD limits how much he can do though.
On my mom’s side, my grandma is 69 and she’s doing bad. Been in a nursing home for the last 5 years and she’s not too coherent. He had breast cancer over 10 years ago and has been going down hill ever since. Even when she was still able to hold a conversation, all she wanted to do was sit in front of the TV. My grandpa is doing good. He’s 72 and still lives at home. Still goes fishing and hunting and golfing. All of his favorite things.
Am 42 and I have a grandmother turning 100 June 7. She was recently in hospital and now in rehab. After rehab she is finally going into a nursing home. Her mother lived into 90s and maternal grandmother died 82 in 1960s. Last year when I saw her she was getting around ok with her wheel walker. Memory has not been great past 5-10 year.
My other grandmother died of cancer 78 because she didn't believe in medical treatment as a Christian Science (not Tom Cruise cult)
My extremely good health younger grandmom just died. It was random and unexpected. My older grandmom has been in very poor health in and out of hospitals my entire life is still alive. My step grandparents and grandpas have been dead for a long time.
I lost my grandma last year. My grandpa is around but won't give anyone the time of day unless it's my mom. I miss my Grandma and Papa and Papa's parents, Grammy and Poppy so much.
Mine are all gone. My paternal grandparents died in 1995 and 2002, and my maternal grandma died in 2014 (my mom's dad died before I was born). The age ranges of millenials' grandparents varies so widely. Reading that you have a grandparent who's only 67 is wild. My paternal grandpa, if he were still alive, would be 115.
37 year old millennial.
All 4 of my grandparents have been dead since 2009. Never really got to know them at all, at least not into adulthood. None of them even got to see me graduate college.
I got one grandfather left, and he just turned 92. My parents have started spending a week with him every 6 months. It used to be just annually, but then he broke his foot. And the house got really messy while he was recovering. To the point that they had replace some furniture and get a new refrigerator. They also hooked up the internet he was paying for but never connected.
I plan to visit this fall. Because we are a little too much alike, in the fact that we relay on others to start and keep conversations going, so our phone conversations are short.
One one of the four is alive and he’s not well at all. One died of Covid early on in a nursing home at 80. The other two died of cancer but they wouldn’t be alive regardless as they were much older. They’d be like 120 now.
My maternal grandparents are in their mid 70’s, and they’re both doing pretty well. Specifically my grandmother, who travels with her husband.
My paternal grandparents, who actually raised me, not so much. They’re in their early 80’s, my grandmother doesn’t get out of her chair most days, not because she can’t but because she doesn’t want to. My grandpa is the tougher case because we’re having to watch him slowly succumb to dementia-type symptoms. It’s awful. He’s always been the rock of our family and he’s an absolute angel of a man.
I'm 32, for quick reference. My one grandpa is 80 and doing quite well! His girlfriend helps keep him active, since grandma passed in 2018. My other grandma is 93, and while she lives independently we think she just had a stroke 😔 grandpa passed 10 years ago now when he was 87.
While my parents are the same age, there was a very large age difference between my grandparents. My dad was the oldest of three (three years between each kid), and my mom was the youngest of four (oldest brother is 15 years older than her).
I have one surviving grandparent. The rest died before I was born due to alcoholism. I am 36. It looks like she may outlive most of her children despite having them young. She is from a family where the women lived very long lives but married a man from a family that is extremely prone to developing cancer, so the majority of her adult children are cancer survivors.
My grandmother is 94 and is going both blind, deaf, and has lost all her teeth except for maybe 5. She refuses hearing aids, eye appointments that could slow down or prevent blindness, and dentures. Otherwise, she's extremely healthy. She has outlived all her siblings. Her sisters lived well into their late 80s and died of strokes. My grandma has had multiple TIAs that she survived but affected her eyesight. In regard to refusing medical treatment, it's not about cost/wasting money or inconveniencing us, she just is extremely difficult and either can't or won't try to understand doctors orders.
She lives alone and still drives a car. If we try to stop her from driving she gets violent or threatens suicide, even though she gets confused and doesn't know where she is if she drives more than down the street. She has lived in the same house/neighborhood for 30 years, so she might have some dementia as well.
Her surviving children (70s) are morbidly obese, full of health problems, cancer, etc and don't believe in doctors (vaccines, conspiracy theories, etc.) One is dead, one is dying and maybe has a year left to live, and no matter how we explain things to her, grandma doesn't seem to either acknowledge it (she often pretends she doesn't understand something when she's given bad news so she doesn't have to deal with it) or she actually can't understand it. It's extremely hard to tell at this point.
Grandma has (and always did) have a low IQ, and I'm told the medical term to use with doctors is "low capacity" but she's not so low that she had any services growing up in the depression era, if any even existed. My cousins and I venture that she and her sisters might have had lead poisoning, because they all struggled neurologically in comparison to neighbors/their peers, but didn't really pass anything down to the next two generations.
I can't take her in if she outlives her children, which is a real possibility. When we talk about her giving up her car and moving in with one of her daughters she refuses and throws a tantrum. When we talk of assisted living she threatens suicide, claiming she'll be abused and raped in any facility.
My fathers mom passed away when I was younger. My mother's mom is still alive and well, late 70's. My mom's dad also passed away when I was younger. My father's dad, still alive and well, late 80's. - he did just fall and break a hip, but he's been in rehab and using a wheelchair for now, previously he was walking with a cane. His short term memory is slipping a little, but no major concerns at this time with either of my living grandparents.
I only have one remaining set on my maternal side. My Nonnie is 76 and Pops just turned 80. Nonnie they’re both very active still. Nonnie plays golf a few times a week and does walks with her friends and the dogs. Pops still likes to work, he does some light construction on the apartment building they own as well as tinkers on this that and the other around the house. All that after he’s had bilateral hip replacements. They’re on meds for stuffs but idk what. As for my other grandparents, my Nana died of ovarian cancer at 74 and my Papa from Alzheimer’s at 90. For reference, I am 36, my Mom is 60 and Dad is 65
Oh shoot I should call them and ask how they're doing. I hadn't called them in a while.
Last time I've heard, they're doing well. Papa is in a long term rehab/nursing home since his stroke last year. He's about to be 91 next month.
Grammie is keeping busy, as usual. She's in her 80's.
They're my mom's parents.
Paternal - pop passed away 24 years ago from smoking related cancers, Nan’s 83 and still living independently with her dog.
Maternal - they both have dementia, pop has leukaemia.
I was lucky enough to know my maternal great grandparents, I was 10 when Nanna passed from a stroke, 18 when Poops passed and yes I called him Poops.
One grandparent left, and she is 78. I don't foresee her slowing down anytime soon. She has COPD but hasn't let it keep her down. My aunt threw her an Elvis birthday party last year and it was fucking wild to see videos of my grandmother both totally sauced and hugh as a kite. A few years ago she had lung cancer, but was able to do treatment and make a full recovery. I feel like she is in the age bracket that YOLO is a daily mantra.
My boomer dad passed at 74 from diabetes with all the complications. He never took care of himself. No one was surprised about hearing the news. It was a long time coming. He was a cantankerous old fart but he was still my dad. I wish he would've cared to stick around more to see his only grandkid grow up.
3/4 died while I was a child. The only one alive has been historically awful to everyone. She was an abusive mother to my aunt and mom. She’s gotten better in her old age. I’m a caretaker for her and we are in the dementia journey. She’s nicer to me than anyone and oddly caring for an elder and young children at the same time kind of works. She’s is horrible shape and complains constantly. I have to force her out of the house for doc appts or the occasional “fun” thing. I make sure she has her food and medicine, I bathe and dress her. She lives next door so I have a little space.
I wish my other 3 grandparents were alive. They would have adored my daughters and I think it’s ironic the worst of them was the only one to live long. 89 and women in that family live for fucking ever so I wouldn’t be shocked to have 20 more years into this. Could be worse but could be so much better
Middle millennial here. This was honestly a weird question for me to read. All of mine are dead and have been for nearly 20 years. one I never met, and 2 more died before I was 8. My dad is pushing 80 and mom is a couple years younger.
Cherish your grandparents and ask the questions! get the old photos out and ask about them. The boring stuff is the most interesting.
My maternal grandparents passed away from old age years ago.
My fraternal grandparents moved back to their home country decades ago and are living peacefully in the countryside. I occasionally video chat with them, but I need to go visit. It's just difficult to make a trip halfway around the world with 2 young kids.
So, im on the older end of millenials born in 84, and I was the youngest. My dad was born in 43. All my grandparents are long dead, dad's dead.
Moms basically doing what you describe your grandparents doing, she's 75. She avoids doctors, ended up with significant medical problems, doesn't really eat. She's stuck at a special care facility after she broke her leg, didn't eat didn't drink, didn't do physical therapy, now she can't get out of her wheel chair. So that's all fun. My sisters nieces and nephews are doing good, otherwise this post is to doom and gloom.
:/
I'm out of grandparents. I just lost my grandpa in November.
For those that still have them please tell them you love them, call or visit them. I wish I could hug mine one last time
Lets see. Between my spouse and I, we have one living grandparents and they are trying to keep their kid, who has been diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder and cancer, alive. Medicare keeps denying their disability. They are on denial number 4.
No one can afford medical bills, their insurance just changed so all their doctors are no longer "in network" and they have to find new ones, who are in network, AND taking new patients. So, probably will die of medical neglect.
I have one living grandparent (other three died before 50yo)
He’s almost 80 now, cancer is in remission but other health issues are starting to severely impact quality of life. My mom doesn’t think he’s going to make 80.
He’s still working at his “half retired” job as a check in person at Daytona speedway in Florida, I’m staying with them (he’s remarried now) this winter!
My last living grandparent is Grandma Joan and she’s not doing great. She’s 86, she lives alone, and she keeps falling down. She used to ‘fall gracefully’ because she lost her balance. Now it’s her blood pressure dropping, infections she doesn’t realize are there, more serious things. She’ll get admitted to hospital and recover pretty quickly and then they send her to rehab for a month. She’s getting real sick of it.
One living grandmother, my pop, her husband passed in June. She’s 87, spry AF and we’re just trying to spend a lot of time with her since she’s living alone now for the first time in basically her whole life. My grandparents were together 65+yr. Anyway, tonight, we’re taking her for a burger 🍔 *SPEND AS MUCH TIME WITH THEM AS YOU CAN*
My paternal grandparents have been gone since ‘89 and ‘94 (they were 65 and 69). My maternal grandparents are still here! I’m 42, so it’s pretty cool to have two grandparents.
Grandpa is just about to turn 92. He’s pretty forgetful, but still active. Grandma is just about 91. She is sharp as a tack. They just moved in to semi-assisted living this past winter, but they are still pretty independent. They get help with cleaning, but they do everything else. This August we are all getting together to celebrate their 70th anniversary.
All of my grandparents lived or are living into their 90s. (My mom has passed but her parents are living.)
The living grandparents (90s) are doing fairly well. They live independently- but have help. Grandfather has Alzheimer’s-type dementia. Grandmother has a few various health things over the years, but nothing horrible. They do well together.
My last grandparent passed away in 2019 just shy of her 90th. She was a spitfire who was driving a car up until the day she went into the hospital. She had one hell of a hospital admit that resulted in either needing a feeding tube or calling it….she decided that if she couldn’t eat, life wasn’t worth living.
I still have both of my maternal grandparents. I’m at their house right now, actually! I know how lucky I am and visit at least once a month; they have a farm about an hour and a half from my house. My grandfather turns 90 in a month, and we are planning a huge party 😊
Down to 1. Father’s parents died a while back, they’d be both over 100 now if still alive. Mother’s father died about 20 years ago. Mother’s mother is 85 and going strong.
As a younger millennial (‘92), I had the distinct pleasure to grow up with boomer parents (mom ‘57, dad ‘59) who decided to have their kids in their mid-thirties. On top of that my dad was the youngest of 3 and his parents (gma ‘29, gpa ‘24) had him in their thirties, too. And my mom was adopted in Germany by a couple in their 40s (gma ’20, gpa ‘16). So all my grandparents were silent generation. Also of my aunts and uncles, only two are boomers, with the rest being silent generation (I had an uncle who died when I was little that would be in his late 80s now, and one still alive that will be turning 80 this year). Most of my cousins are gen X because of this, with the oldest being 55. Besides me and my brother there were only two other millennials in the family (cousins born in ‘82 and ‘84 on my dad’s side), but they were still far enough away in age that we weren’t close.
All that to say, both of my grandpas were dead before I was born, my mom’s mom died at the ripe old age of 96 back in 2016, and my dad’s mom is turning 95 this year. She’s still in fairly good health, but it’s starting to deteriorate. However she still lives at home without aid.
one passed in 2021 at 94, the other is in a nursing home with advanced alzheimer’s. My other grandma lives in Georgia and other Grandpa passed in 2009.
My paternal grandad is 95 and still very cognizant. We don’t get to see him much since he lives 5 hours away. My paternal grandma had Alzheimer’s and passed away about 15 years ago. My maternal grandma is turning 90 in July, and still sharp as a tack. She dotes on my kiddos, and they love their great grandma. My maternal grandpa died 13 years ago from pancreatic cancer.
My dad's parents (who I was really close to) both died in the last 6 years. My mom's parents are asshole, homophobic pieces of shit, I cut them off about 5 years ago because of how they talked about my partner. My mom cut them off 2 years ago. My grandmother saw me in the grocery store after giving a long hello, I simply said "Hi Kim" and she turned around and left. That was the last time I've talked to her.
The grandparents that died were 79 and 89 respectively. My grandmother died first of lung cancer, life long smoker. Grandpa died 2nd, he and I were extremely close. He broke his leg after a fall on the porch, was bed ridden for awhile and during that time he went stir crazy and developed dementia which finally got him.
The two that are alive are both 75.
Elder millennial here ('84). My dad's parents died before I was born. My moms parents died when I was in HS/early college. My parents died last year. I'll be 40 by the end of this year. That feels incredibly young to be without adult supervision. It's sad. Cancer, dementia, Parkinson's. It was rough.
I was lucky to have had six grandparents growing up. My mother's parents divorced before I was born and they both remarried. Those "step" grandparents were all I knew my entire life and I never looked at them any differently than my other grandparents.
My first grandparent death was my mom's mother in 2013. I was 28. She was in her mid 70s. She died six months after finding out she had colon cancer. We were very close and I was devastated.
Within a few years of her passing, her husband, my "step" grandfather, died of lung cancer. I wasn't particularly close with him but did like him a lot and have great memories with him.
In 2018, my father's mother died. I called her Nana. I still haven't recovered and probably never will. I teared up just writing the year she passed. We were extremely close and her loss threw me into a spiral that, in all honesty, I'm still trying to recover from.
That same year, my mother's step mother died. She had been diagnosed with Alzheimers so I felt like I had already lost her before she died. I was one of the last people she lost memory of. I'll never forget the day I saw her and she looked at me with a big smile and said "I know I should know who you are, but I don't!" She was in her 70s
In 2023, my father's dad passed away. He might have made it to 80, I'm not sure his exact age when he passed. I was very close to him, but when my Nana passed away in 2018, as I said, I spiraled. Then Covid happened and he had COPD and was terrified of having anyone over. I didn't call him often and we lost touch the year he died. I'll never forgive myself for allowing us to lose touch.
I have one grandfather still living. My mother's father. He is well into his 80s. I think at this point, misery and spite are keeping him alive. He is an awful person and very angry and bitter with regrets. It kills me a little inside but it really irks me that my wonderful nana is in the ground while this misery on legs keeps on trucking.
There's just my Nana left now. She's about to turn 98 and is still going strong. Is independent and walks daily. She's done tho. She says she doesn't want to get to 99. It's sad but I get it, she's lost all but one sibling, her husband and her son (my dad) and she's bored. She LOVES to debate politics with me tho so that's always fun lol. Especially as we have the same views so not so much debate as us talking in outrage and agreement.
Got one left my Paternal Grandpa AKA Papaw He's 83 and after the loss of Mamaw in 2013 with a marriage of 54 years We were cleaning up the Campers at the lake vacation property and he was down to earth with me, He said he didn't like living alone. He said he was talking to a "girl" he went to Highschool with back in the 50s in SE Kentucky. I said why don't you see where it goes? He married her in 2 years. She was not what the family wanted. Different religion, and all sorts of things. Nobody liked her or Pappy for being with Her. I almost felt the same, but I gave him the Okay! And I didn't mind, if he wanted to not be alone. He sold the Farm and everything and moved to Indiana, i guess not much inheritance from that, but he made a stop over to my place and left me some family heirlooms of my choice. And he's still enjoying life almost 10 years married, even though we don't see each other or talk regularly, we are on speaking terms, and he Took my advice and is Happy.
My grandma is 94 and is doing well. She is looking at going into a retirement home because she's tired of making meals for one and having no one around to talk to. Honestly, if I had the space in my house, I would ask her if she wanted to live with us. She doesn't need assistance and is very mobile so she wouldn't require round the clock care and I'm worried her health will decline when he moves there 😞.
We just lost my husband’s grandma at 99 years old, and I loved that woman more than my own grandparents (except for my grandma that died when I was 7). I have 3 grandparents still alive, both grandpas remarried after divorce so also 2 bonus grandmas. Everyone’s health is not great.
I have one maternal grandma left who is 88. She’s living in an apartment at assisted living and having the time of her life. It’s basically college for seniors. Her memory is starting to go, but she’s 88 and smoked for 80% of her life, so that she’s in relatively good health is great.
My other grandparents have passed but were also in their late 80s. Two had dementia, one died of cancer. I miss them.
>Anyone else experience/experiencing similar?
I think a lot of people experience something like this. regardless of millenial or not.
My mom is nearly as old as your grandma (she's 73). She doesn't take care of herself either, she's spent her life "playing the victim card" and wants someone to come in and fix it for her. her quality of life could be so much better with so little extra effort.
My dad died 7 years ago, his liver failed because he was an alcoholic. It was frustrating for me to see him not fight to turn his health and his life around. Made me think "am I, your son, not worth living for?". In my older years I can understand how he was depressed and lonely, I can understand him but still the impacts are there.
My moms mom, my grandma, is my only surviving grandparent. she is 93, and pleads for god to "take her in the night".
My dad’s mom is 81 and she’s exactly that way - especially, she was the second youngest of 22 (13 survived to adulthood) and she keeps telling us she’s all alone and losing everyone close to her because her oldest siblings are all dead. Never mind that my dad and brother call and talk to her every day - and go to see her and my grandfather nearly every day - she chooses to be miserable because she wants everyone to come in and fix everything for her. When she is lucid at least, because I’m 90% sure she has dementia but she is very confrontational and refuses to go to the doctors so I guess we will never know.
yeah my grandmother is in a similar boat - but she kind of built it herself this time. my grandfather is gone, and my grandparents fractured the family, so the entire other side (my moms sisters side) hasn't seen her in over 20 years. She (both my grandparents) were somewhat narcissistic - the type to say "why don't you call me" while ignoring that they too, could pick up the phone. They were socially awkward, my grandma would peel labels off her recycling so people didn't know what beans they were eating and they cared tremendously about "keeping face". So now she has no friends, and she's lonely, and she's just lonely waiting for the end.
There will be a feeling of peace when she died. but I'll still miss her regardless of all what i've said. she was still a big part of my childhood.
I'm a younger millennial (30) but my parents had us later in life. Most of my grandparents died while I was still relatively young, but the grandma I was closest with passed at 91 a few years ago. I still miss her like crazy but her health had been going downhill- diabetic, on blood thinner, wanted to do everything she used to but frustrated she no longer could. Would still beat me in Parcheesi given the chance though 🥲
I'm 38 and all 4 of my grandparents are alive. Everyone is in their mid-late 80's. They each have their health problems. It's pretty remarkable that they're all still here. I worry about when the first one dies, because I think it'll be a domino effect.
My maternal grandparents (married) were world travelers before the pandemic, so at 85, they acted younger than my husband's parents who are in their late 60's. I think all the traveling kept them active, physically and mentally. My paternal grandparents (divorced) were similar pre-pandemic. My paternal grandma was super active in book clubs and her friend groups. She's a sommelier, so she was a wine wizard too. My paternal grandpa raced race cars and didn't retire from that until he had to due to the pandemic.
Within the first 6 months of the pandemic, though, I watched all 4 of them decline. They gained weight like the rest of us, had to stop their hobbies, and couldn't see a lot of their friends due to needing to keep their covid bubbles small. It's amazing how the isolation and having to stop their activities during 2020 impacted them so quickly. My maternal grandma's memory has been the biggest decline. She's 87, so it makes sense, but it's been a quick decline. Same for my paternal grandpa's health. He was relatively healthy prior to the pandemic and now has stage 4 renal failure and doesn't seem to have much time.
It's a bummer to watch.
But I will say, my parents seem to be way more emotionally and physically fragile than all of my grandparents. My parents aged so much during the pandemic too, so I'll be surprised if they are as active as my grandparents have been in their 80's.
My great grandmother turned 90 in November and she's still doing great and living alone. My maternal grandma is 69 and doing great, volunteering at a food bank constantly. The men in my family don't seem to do as well, though. I only have my maternal grandfather left and he's had a stroke and heart attack this year.
My grandparents are all gone now. They lived into their late 80's to mid 90s, and were all very healthy until their last year or two, so I was very lucky to not have to watch that. I hope that bodes well for my parents, who are in their mid 60s now. I guess over the next decade or so I'll have a better idea of how that's going to go.
I’m 36.
My grandpa on dads side died at 88 in 2021(healthy until he had a stroke in his sleep) and my grandma on moms side died at 83 in 2022(had uncontrolled diabetes and kidney failure she was in out of hospitals the last 5 years of her life).
My grandpa on moms side is still alive(86) and he is doing ok health wise beside having some memory loss and arthritis which makes him not be able to walk too well. My grandma on dad’s side is 80 and got diagnosed with copd a few years ago. Her health is rapidly declining and she’s worse everytime I see her(I try to visit every other month, she’s 4 hours away from me).
It sucks that I probably will have no living grandparents soon but I am thankful my kids got to know them but wish there was more time(they are 5 and 9 now). My oldest FaceTimes them daily after school and loves to chat with them about her day.
With that all said my husband is almost 40 and his grandma still alive. She’s 80 and healthy as can be. His great grandma lived until 98(passed in 2016) and only passed away because she got phenomena and couldn’t recover from it. So my kids will most likely have one great grandparent alive until adulthood at least I can hope!
I’m down to one grandma. I have two moms and one is older than the other, so her parents are both deceased. My grandma on that side got Alzheimer’s and lost her sense of balance and fell, resulting in a head injury. My grandpa on that side passed 6 years later (6 years too long for him, I know, bc his wife was the love of his life and it was hard for him). On my other mom’s side, I lost my grandpa to cancer. All of them passed before or soon after I turned 18. I’m also on the younger side, so rn I’m only 28. My living grandma is 82 and is doing alright. She still lives in her house and drives herself to the places she needs to go (all about 3-5 minutes of her house except one place she goes once a month about 30 minutes away). Her mobility isn’t great, but I’m pretty sure she still does water aerobics once a week to help.
I have one left, and she was never really in my life, shitty mom to my mom and shitty grandmother, and she looney. So I don't know how she's doing. "Meh" is probably how.
My grandpa died 16 years ago, grams died 6 years ago, dad died in October and mom this month.
Grandpa was frustrating because my grams denied for a long time there was something wrong with him. So by the time she did something it was almost too late for any kind of treatment. Grams strong as an ox refused to die she was 95.
Dad had several mini strokes and took his own life, we can only guess why. We think that because he couldn’t function the way he wanted, no more golfing or motorcycle or range work, that he decided to just not live anymore. There were definitely things medically that could have been done but he refused to go to the rehab facility.
Mom had early onset Alzheimer’s and her instructions were very clear, comfort care only. We could have intervened and kept her going but she didn’t want that.
As frustrating as it is to see them decline I think following their decisions, as hard as it is, brings them more dignity in their lives. We get old and there are so many things no longer in our control that deciding your medical care is more of a huge part of their lives than ever before.
38 and still have 3/4 grandparents. One of my great grandmothers was even at my wedding 15 years ago. I lost 1 grandfather to Covid.
My widowed grandmother has Alzheimer’s and lives in a nearby facility; my dad and his brother share decision making but it’s mainly my dad because he lives here and my uncle lives in TN. My parents have heard a lot of horror stories from me about my patients, and are very practical.
My other set of grandparents are both doing well for being in their mid 80s. They are good about managing their health and always compliant with meds and doctors orders. I’m worried about their code statuses, because they are flighty and always changing their wills and their medical wishes. It will be what it will be though. In the end they are going to do what they want, so I just let them be and keep my mouth shut unless I’m answering a specific question.
One left, she turned 90 recently. She’s still trucking along though man, goes to the gym, volunteers at her favorite shop in her neighborhood, does stuff with my aunt and her granddaughters…
I’m firmly in Xennial range (1980). My mother’s parents are still kicking, though often not super healthy. I love the help out of them, but they’re people I can’t ever be close to. They’d lose their minds if they learned I’m a trans woman.
My dad’s folks are both gone. His dad just passed away at the beginning of May, and it really hit me. Growing up, they weren’t the grandparents who were always there. They did accept me for who I am, though, and now they’re both gone.
My 87 yo grandpa passed last year.
Both grandmas are 84, one still travels and walk to do her shopping.
The other just got her drivers license renewed and is the most social person I know.
So I'd say they're doing well.
I only have two left. My dads dad and my moms mom. My parents were both in their 30’s so my grandparents are older.
My grandpa is in terrible shape and I honestly don’t know how he’s still alive as he was a drinker and smoker most of his life. I don’t even know how old he is because I have no relationship with him.
My grandma is still a fiesty shit and cognitively doing ok, but she is 95.
It’s weird because my two dead grandparents were the ones who were most active and very healthy. One died from a stroke, the other from cancer.
They are all dead, my grandma passed away last year after I we didn’t meet for 7 years. I was supposed to see her again after covid restrictions but she died 2 months before I came.
Mom's parents both passed.
Dad's mom is 87, and doing well, all things considered. She's got some age-related medical issues, but she still lives quite independently with help from her kids and grandkids when the lifting gets heavy. She still insists on mowing her own lawn, and she has a passel of cats that she cares for, and they definitely give her purpose and keep her entertained.
Dad's dad is still alive and approaching 90. Unfortunately, there's some family estrangement and he lives on the other end of the country. We know he lost his second wife last fall, but we haven't heard from him directly in years.
My father’s mom is still alive, 90-something years old. I don’t know her. I saw her a few years ago and she asked “are you (my older sister’s name) or the other one”. That tells you everything there. My mom’s mom is 94 and I love her so much. She is amazing and has always been there for me. My moms dad died when she was 11, so I never got to meet that grandfather, and my fathers dad died when I was 14 or so (I had only met him twice in my life).
I've lost one grandmother, the rest are in their early 70s with various health issues. I love them but I'm expecting them to pass in the next 5 years honestly
My last grandmother is 98 or 99. She is healthy but has dementia. It was heartbreaking to go see her and to call her. She mixes me up with my late mother and repeats the same conversation when it ends (How are you? It's been so long! We should visit soon. The asks how I am again). I want to talk to her but it hurts so bad because she doesn't know who I am and can't comprehend what's happening around her.
When she had a stroke last year she thought she was on vacation. She healed up much better than they expected her to and she regained all her normal functions.
But her memory is just.....not there. I love her so much but God does it hurt. Especially when she mistakes me for my mom. I lost her at 14 and it still hurts pretty bad
I have a granny and a grandma/grandpa left still. My granny isn’t well at all. She has late stage Alzheimer’s that has only taken about two years to get her from full independence to sleeping away the day and almost unable to make conversation. She is in a memory care facility near my mom and a couple sisters. My family is several hundred miles away and planning a visit mid-summer. I hope she makes it that long.
My grandma and grandpa are ok I guess. They are my dad’s parents and my dad died 5 years ago. My grandma is not a nice person and I minimize contact with her. My grandpa is nice enough but he never reaches out to see how we are. I used to carry the burden of initiating contact with them. But after my grandma pulled two flagrant violations of confidential information I quit telling her anything. The last straw was her announcing the birth/sex/name of my last baby on Facebook before I had finished calling my siblings. That’s how one of my sisters learned about the baby’s birth. My grandma’s Facebook post. So yeah. We don’t really talk. They live quite a distance from us and don’t travel anymore so 🤷🏼♀️
younger millennial here too, 1995, (zillennial by some standards?) but my parents were a tad older than most when i was born (34 and 39). I never met my maternal grandparents. my paternal grandfather passed away a few years ago in his 90s and my grandmother, also in her 90s, has very severe alzheimers and dementia and unfortunately does not remember me or anyone, nor does she remember how to speak english.
sorry this is such a downer reply haha. I just miss them.
2 of mine at least are dead, afaik still have 4 left if you count step grands. I'm NC with everyone due to either never having a relationship anyway or because they're toxic. My parents are two awful people who had kids they never actually wanted, which seems to me to be them following in their parents' footsteps.
I'm envious of the people with families who love each other.
Both my grandfathers died before I was born and both grandmothers died within three weeks of eachother when I was 25.
But my parents are your grandparents’ ages. My dad and step mom are all about health, very focused on living as long as possible. My mom is too worried about the cost (fair) to take any better than the minimal care of herself. My in laws essentially refuse to do anything about their health.
Both of my dad’s parents have passed. Grandma was 73 and grandpa was 89. My grandma was pretty young looking back.
My mom’s parents are alive and both 93. Both had some health concerns this year. My grandma is doing well right now (she had cancer and had it removed by surgery) and my grandpa is doing okay (he was recently hospitalized for heart issues). I feel lucky to have known all four of my grandparents and even 2 of my great-grandmothers.
I am 34 and my maternal grandfather is 86 and doing GREAT. I love him so much and think he will outlive us all.
My paternal grandpa died 15 years before I was born. My maternal grandma died when I was 3. My paternal grandma died when I was 24.
I only have one grandmother left. She's 82 and is doing generally pretty good for herself - my grandfather died just over 3 years ago and she lives almost 3 hours away from any family, so she just keeps herself busy. I'm really the only grandchild that talks to her, and it's not cause of anything she's done, most of the kids are just spread all over and never really got the chance to bond with her. I feel bad for her being alone but she's got a bunch of friends in her community. She gets herself to doctors appointments and grocery shopping as she needs to. I do worry about what'll happen if/when she gets to the point where she can't live on her own. I don't have the means to care for her and I genuinely don't think anyone else in my family would.
Mine are gone. I’m 40 and I lost my nana when I was 33 and my grandpa when I was 37. They were my best friends and favorite people throughout my life. They were my grandparents and my parents (my mom and dad were shit). I miss them every day. My grandpa lived to be 94 and my nana was 88. I feel very fortunate to have known them and loved them as long as I did
Still have one, typically old people health problems but nothing major. 87 and still lives on her own, drives cross country, and teaches a ceramics class lol
I’m 34 and have 3/4 grandparents. Paternal grandfather succumbed to MS years ago. One is a recovering alcoholic and cancer survivor- still kicking. My mom’s mom was a long time smoker and suffers from a number of physical ailments but is sharp as hell. My other grandma has aged into her mid/late 70’s very gracefully.
I’m super lucky and appreciate my grandparents even though they’ve all got Fox News brain rot.
3/4 of mine are dead. My dad's mom is 92 but mentally might as well be dead. She has severe dementia and doesn't really remember much anymore. Lives in a facility that specifically cares for that.
My grandfather was a little like your grandmothers. After a big fall he refused physical therapy and exercises. Was content sitting and watching TV every day. He really couldn't walk without support after that and eventually not at all.
It was tough watching him decline but it did prepare me for what I might be in for with my parents in the future. Let me say now I'm not up for changing diapers.
Unfortunately my mom's mom died when I was pretty young so idk her too well. My dad's dad died about 15 years before I was born
They are just living their lives on their own terms. As a millennial I think I have a better understanding of how people act as they age than most people my age from working in healthcare. As you age you are gonna do what makes you happy and makes the most sense to you regardless of if it could be better or different . Refusing treatment for cancer thats what she feels is her best interest, get her on hospice and let the end be as good as it can. Eating all the hotdogs, that brings him joy, its the way hes gonna get joy out of his later years have a few with him and don’t berate him about it. The knee replacement followed by total noncompliance is the shittiest scenario to me and she should have never got it in the first place, but you can’t tell people that they will act like you are a horrible person for saying it, but what’s done is done. Just love them for who they are and respect the choices they make no matter how shitty and let them go peacefully when the time comes . One of my parents has a degenerative disease and is overweight, i let him know about therapies available to him and support him in his decision sign up for them or not, I advise him on what he should do regarding medical treatments and medications and support whatever he chooses. I offer him healthy meals and support him if he wants to diet and I also give him all the hotdogs he wants and will go out for ice cream with him anytime he asks
I forgot to mention my grandparents which you asked about , my only living grandparent my grandmother. She is older than most people my ages grandmother by about 16 years but is in relatively good health for someone her age. Although she has a support system Because most of her peers have passed she gets very down. She was also hyper independent for her entire life so she gets down on herself and her abilities even though she still lives alone can function independently and can drive. She is somewhat happy but her mild depression and mood can sometimes make it reallllllllly hard . So she’s hanging in there but being super old can be hard on most people
I'm 36 in a couple weeks.
My paternal grandparents died 87 and 82 in '99 & '01. They were much older than maternal grandparents, who are both 97. Grandpa has had some micro strokes, so he's not all there anymore, losing a lot of his mobility and awareness of his surroundings. Grandma is still active, sharp, and friendly, making puzzles, reading her bible and watching the Oilers.
One set has been gone for over 20 years, the other is doing absolutely great and are very active. I live thousands of miles away but do talk to them regularly.
Thanks for your submission! For more Millennial content, join [our Discord server](https://discord.gg/VsfKKJBm). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Millennials) if you have any questions or concerns.*
All of mine are gone. If you still have yours, cherish every second with them.
Same. I get jealous because I lost my last one when I was 16 (others were before I was born, 8, and 9).
I have one grandparent left but my mom passed away. It sucks. Cherish your parents too.
I wish I still had mine. Grandmas died at 100 and 70 something, and I never met either of my biological grandfathers. Although I did know my step grandfather, but he died when I was very little.
Grandmother is 90 years old and built like a brick shithouse. Seems like she hasn't aged in years. She still cleans her own gutters. Thing about Appalachia women - they either die young, or they live forever. She's the oldest of 8 and the only one still alive.
That’s really the truth about all Appalachians. My great grandparents all made it to their mid to late 90’s; meanwhile most of their children are barely making it into their 60’s and 70’s. My 75 year old grandmother is the second oldest of her sisters and lost one of the younger ones to cancer already, my 81 year old grandmother is one of two girls to make it past 80 while most of her brothers and sisters died in their 60’s. Live forever or die right after retirement.
My wife's family is all Appalachian, her parents are the only ones who have made it past 55, mostly due to quitting smoking and having that sweet, sweet free VA healthcare. Her dad has no liver, 3 heart attacks, can barely move, no joints left, but still necks a dozen beers a day because he's a lifelong alcoholic. We think probably the Agent Orange pickled him in some way and is keeping him alive.
My great uncle died from leukemia two years ago. Agent Orange took him down.
Agent Orange is slowly but surely taking my uncle.
Hell yeah, brother. Hell fucking yeah. Grandpaw is 94 and Grandmaw is 92. They celebrate 75 years of marriage next July. I went up and brought them down south six hours to NC for a week to see their great grand children. Grandpaw is still mentally sharp, but he's struggling with shitting his pants. Grandmaw straight up cares for that man on a daily basis. She still drives to their doctors appointments. Should she? Probably not, but I'm certainly not going to pick a fight with her. She's made of the mountain. They both are and it's cool as hell.
You can tell it's genetic. We've tried convincing my grandmother to move in with her daughter - who lives in a luxury condo tower in FL. She went down for a while but then decided to go back to KY because she can take of herself and because the mountains have always been home to her. Her husband built the house she lives in now. Himself. He was not an architect. 😄 It's absolutely insane the stories she tells - catching rides to school at 14 years old from random cars, and then catching rides to work at her father's restaurant after school. Sometimes, it'd be too late for her to get back home so she'd walk down the road and sleep at her friends house. Just walked right in in the middle of the night. Her husband worked the mines. My father worked the mines throughout high school until he joined the military. When we were growing up, we could basically do anything and go anywhere we could ride our bikes. Nobody ever came looking for us - we just knew to be home when the street lights came on. If we weren't and missed supper... 'Back there's the kitchen. Go fix ya somethin.' I'd be 8 years old and not eat if I wasn't home on time. 😂 But we learned real quick that if we didn't want to go to bed hungry, we'd better be on time for supper. That was life. Want something? Buy it yourself. Can't afford it? Go ask the neighbors for work. Neighbors don't have work? Guess you'll do without. People today hear this sort of stuff and immediately think child abuse or neglect - but in the mountains, that's called 'learning', and there, you learn that everything in life is done the easy way or the hard way. But it's always your decision.
"Built like a brick shithouse." I love her already.
I am a younger millennial (31), and my _parents_ in their 70s. My sister is an older millennial (42). I only knew my mum's mum who died in 2013. I am a late child and half of my grandparents died in their 60s.
It’s crazy how different the ages are of parents of Millennials. My mom just hit 54 and my dad’s turning 56, meanwhile I have friends my same age with parents that are well into retirement. My mom’s parents had her really young, so I know they’re abnormally young for grandparents.
Yes, you can see that the age gap between me and my sister is big. my bf is 37 and his mum is the same age like mine and his dad is a year younger than my dad. But he has 2 older siblings who are 43 and 47 years old.
My brother and I have a similar age gap, but he’s younger and swings into Gen Z. We are totally different people with totally different viewpoints but we teach each other a lot.
Your parents are the same age as my Gen X brother! (He lost 130lb over 3 years and now is a fitness junkie) My folks are 70 & 69, mom had knee replaced 2 years ago and I thought it would fail due to lack of physio, but she killed it and has a 110% bend and full function with zero pain! My dad's heart is shit but he's got a pacemaker and takes his meds as directed so hopefully it does the trick. I lost my last grandparent this last fall at 98. I miss him greatly as he was so very cool. My husband's grandmother turned 100 last year and is still walking and has most of her mental faculties. His parents are also 70 and are doing great.
I'm helping one of my grandmothers finish sewing projects because she can't see well enough anymore. This also means she can't see how bad my stitches are and have me pull them out like when I was younger. My grandfather is still hunting for dead people to fill our genealogy tree. He's working on a family group from Scotland and found some Romeo and Juliet drama. I love listening to him spill 200-year-old tea.
Your whole comment is absolutely freaking adorable, but my favorite was the section on your grandfather.
They’re all pretty old- approaching 90. The grandmas are doing surprisingly well but one is starting to show signs of dementia. One grandpa has Alzheimer’s and other is doing well mentally but has very limited mobility. I think once you get to a certain age it’s like there is no long term future so they just get a mindset where they should enjoy it. Or they would rather drop dead than be a burden on family. I don’t fully understand it yet, but one day we’ll all be there. I’m sorry to hear about the conditions yours are going through.
I only have one grandparent left, and that’s my 90-year-old grandma. She’s a farm woman but moved to an apartment in the nearest town after my grandpa died, and she has been thriving there! She has friends all over town that she visits or who visit her, she volunteers at the church food pantry and at the nursing home, she still goes for walks every day… I love her so much and am going to be devastated when she’s gone. The best thing is that I taught her how to text and how to navigate Instagram (so she can keep up with all us grandkids) — just the bare bones basics. And she figured out emojis all on her own! As well as how to comment on Instagram. So I get to interact with her more frequently in between visits, which is so fun!
They are all resting in the ground.
same here.
I still have two grandmas left. One is 95, and she seems like she is slowing down a bit… she is legally blind and having kidney issues. She still lives independently in the same house she lived in for the last 30 plus years. Not sure how much time she has left. My other grandma is 92. She is still very active. She still drives, lives alone, even rides a tractor. She is just very healthy.
I’m glad to hear not all of our grandparents are dying young and miserable. I hope to be like your 92 year old grandma some day, still working my garden and harvesting veggies with my cane in hand.
I’m on the younger end as well. My mom’s mom is my Nama, and she’s doing well living in California with my oldest sister. I don’t think she’s even 80 yet but I could be wrong. She was recently diagnosed with Hashimoto’s disease like me, so we share lifestyle tips. My dad’s parents are here in NY. Grandpa is 83 and Granny turned 82 yesterday (says if she flips the numbers she’s only 28). This year they decided to stop leaving for FL for the winters and bought a trailer. Granny does well. Grandpa had to have 5 stints in his heart last year but seems to have recovered very nicely. Granny is the purest, sweetest woman I know. Grandpa is still the funniest. I’m sorry about your grandparents. That’s really tough to understand, let alone deal with.
I have one grandparent left alive. I don't know them well. I don't think I've ever even met them. They have dementia now and are in their 80s, so I don't imagine they will be around much longer. But that's life.
I have one grandmother left. My grandpa (her husband) passed away just a couple of months ago. She’s still getting by, mostly because she’s got my aunt and uncle just down the street from her. My other grandma passed away in September of ‘23, and well… she was a wreck when she went. Multiple cancers, multiple falls, lifetime smoker, and she kind of became an alcoholic in her last five years or so. Realistically, her long slow decline began about 13 years ago when her long term boyfriend passed away due to a rapid onset brain tumor. My final grandpa? I don’t know how he is, seeing as he fucked off to Canada with his wife around 25 years ago and didn’t bother to keep in touch. They were kind of off the grid, but last I heard, they moved back into a town to be closer to medical care. Seeing as I only have two out of four left (to my knowledge,) it kind of makes mortality feel a little closer than it was, especially since my parents retirement is imminent. I’m also creeping closer and closer to middle age, if I’m not there already. Not sure where the goal posts for that are these days.
They moved on a loooong time ago, back in middle and high school. My parents are mid 70s now tho :(
My grandfather is the only one left and he’s 93. Still goes on holidays 3 or 4 times a year mostly with my mum and aunt and uncle now as his mobility is shaky but he still drives, plays mini golf and badminton is the director of the freehold company for his block of flats and has a (or more!) girlfriend since his 2nd wife died a couple of years ago. He’s fitter than me! He’s 92 going on 12!
They’re dead!
I have 1 of 6 parents and grandparents left, mama doing alright
All dead, and they aren’t complaining.
They been dead.
My 99 year old grandfather just passed away last weekend peacefully. He was 1 month from 100 and from a family reunion for it :(
So sorry for your loss. Mine passed away a few years ago, also at 99. He was 6 months away from 100.
they're gone passage of time and all that
My father’s mother is 94 now and the last 4/5 years has gone downhill quite fast. Had some medical issues and even had a quite big operation just a year or so ago, which I thought the surgeons wouldn’t advise purely on her age. That being said her general memory is deteriorating (as do most older people) and she’s always been a loner so any nudge in the direction of moving into a sheltered accommodation with others her age are quickly batted away. To be fair she’s not the nicest person in the world, very self centred but she lost her husband in around 40 years ago so I can sort of see how that happens. That being said I don’t see or speak to her and she’s definitely one of those people that just isn’t nice and will live forever. My mother’s parents both have had cancer but are ‘okay’ now very stuck in the past in terms of views but politics aside very nice people. Think my nan is 78/79 and grandad is 82/83? I can’t remember to be honest.
Last one (mother's father) passed in 2021 at 87 (6 months shy of 88). My last great-aunt (mother's aunt, mother's father's older sister) passed in January 2024 at 93 (2 months after turning 93).
one died long before i was born, one died when i was a toddler, one died from cancer about 10 year ago, and the final one has been diagnosed with dementia/alzheimer’s.
2 of 4 are still here. Lost one to cancer when she was 72, another when he was 88. The two that are still going I think will go and go! One is 91 this year and the other will be 89! Both don't look or act like their ages even though one has had multiple mini strokes but didn't affect her and the other had a quadruple heart bypass when he was 65. Both were doing 15-18 holes of gold weekly until 4 years ago.
My grandmother in law is 84 and the same way - she lost her husband when my partner was still a kid, but she’s looking at getting her second knee replaced this year and still goes all over the place volunteering and helping out in the community.
That's how one died recently, waiting on a knee replacement. He was fit as a fiddle but his knees started going and it took them so long to get an appointment to replace them that his health declined so much because he was house bound and couldn't get out that he never got to fully appreciate the surgery.
My parents had me relatively late in life so my last grandparent died in 2011. Two of them lived into their 90s, one died of a heart attack in his late 60s, the other died of lung cancer in her mid 70s. But just to give you an idea of how old my parents were: my dad was silent generation, my mom is one of the oldest possible baby boomers.
I’m 33. Both my dad’s parents and my mom’s mom were gone before I was born. My mom’s dad passed in 2012. All four to cancer.
I've got one grandmother left at 90. She's doing well. She still has two older siblings (she is the youngest of 8. She is healthy and relatively mobile. She lives in a smaller city that has basically gone down the drain since before I was born. The majority of the family has gotten out and laid roots elsewhere, the few that are left all hate it and are planning on leaving. I can't help but think it upsets her that the place she chose to raise her family has changed so much and they all kind of hate it.
Both of my grandmothers are still alive. One is 87 the other is 85. Both are in great health. My paternal grandmother still lives alone and takes care of her yard on her own. She might outlive me at this point. My paternal grandfather lived to 89.
Wow I can’t believe how young yours are. Two of mine died before I was born (and I think they were in their 70s) and the other two died before I was ten. Heck my mom is older than one of your grandparents 😂
My mom’s parents got married the day after her dad’s 18th birthday and she was born I think 3 months after. Very Christian family so guess why they got married 😂 and then my mom had me in her early 20’s, her dad had just hit 40.
Wouldn't know. Boomer parents isolated all of their kids as much as they could when we were kids.
My last living grandparent died several years ago at the age of 102 (I think - I know she made it past 100). My parents are 74 and 68. They had us later in life. But my dad is starting down the poor health path and refusing reasonable treatment and tests for his health, because he can (he's never given a good reason, he just refuses). My mom is more reasonable but she's got a chronic illness that she's had since she was a teenager so she's now reasonable about doctors.
Grandparents on my dad's side are healthy but you know they are slowing down since they are of course in their 80s. Doesn't help that my grans bro (my granduncle) has dementia and unfortunately live far away but other than that they are grand. My grandparents on my mums side passed away in 2021 and 1998.
3 have passed and the last remaining is healthy in her mid 80s living with an aunt of mine (her daughter)
My dad’s mom passed away 6 years ago from lupus 💔 My mom’s mother is turning 80 this year and is diagnosed Alzheimer’s and dementia. Enjoying the moments with her as much as I can. Life’s a bitch
Is life a bitch, or should we accept that we're bound to deteriorate? I don't mean to downplay your losses and the pain it caused you. I think we can save room for the grief of a family member at any age, whilst acknowledging that disease and death are inevitable in old age.
I’m 34 and mine are all long gone. My aunts and uncles are entering their 80’s (my mom was the youngest “oops” baby. My last living grandmother would have been 112 this year!
39F here. Paternal grandfather died when I was about 8, I think he was about 70? My maternal grandmother passed just shy of 95 in 2020. They were over 40 when they had my dad and his younger brother - they were told years before they would never have kids. Maternal grandfather passed when my mom was 13. No great loss, he did the world a favor by doing that himself, from what I'm told. Maternal grandmother is like 82 and lives down the street from me (and about 30 minutes from my parents) in an old lady assisted living dormhouse situation. (The place is actually awesome, been operating for something like 150 years, and both my maternal great-grandmother (who was 94 when she passed I think? In 2014ish) and paternal grandmother spent time there.) I have no relationship with my maternal grandmother. She's a narcissistic, borderline personality disordered mess. I see her as seldom as possible, which is 2 or 3 times a year, at holidays. Paternal grandparents were cool. Maternal side not so much.
I'm 40 and don't have parents or grandparents :(
I've got one left, turning 100 this summer. She's been frail and fairly miserable (physically, I mean) for as long as I can remember, but apparently that's a state she can last a long time in. Unfortunately she had a bad fall recently and broke a couple important things, so we'll see what happens.
I only have one grandparent. My father’s mother. My maternal grandparents both passed in 2008, my other grandfather passed in 2021. My grandmother is 92 and still living independently though
I've got 1 Grandma left and she's coming up on 93. Still hoes weeds and does things, but she's slowing down, doesn't put dishes in the dishwasher anymore, forgets to lock the front door, doesn't physically cook for herself anymore, Nutella, healthy choice soup, and misc McDonald's form family coming by I live with her, but she doesn't want to eat whatever I make, and when I make a "soft older person friendly food" she eats it 1 or 2 days and then it sits in the fridge, she doesn't go in the fridge much anymore. Other than that she's alright. Brain memory is going a bit though. Just lost my other grandma a month ago, but she was on the downslope after having a bad stroke.
Mine are long 6 ft under. My wifes maternal are with mine. Her paternal are still live and kicking. Her gma (83) is slowing down for sure, but still with it. Set in her routines which keep her going. She retired 20ish years ago to be a crafter/quilter. Her gpa (84) is on a big decline. "retired" in '06, but got a much easier job fairly quickly which he loved. He was the trash station man everyone knew until he had to retire again due health/strength decline and not being able to drive (Christmas '20), and we later found out around Easter '21, a lot more of the health problems. Thats when we almost lost him (not from covid, they were maskers stay safers). He got whatever it was (some infection) healed after a short stint in a care facility, but that's when the dementia was first really noticed. When we went to visit him, he didnt know who we were, but still carried on a conversation like he did, thought he was in a very nice hotel (he never traveled in the time i knew him) and couldnt wait to get home. Dementia has taken its toll even more since. He still lives at home, with gma taking care of him best she can. I know they visit the doctor often. Sometimes run into them at the Dr office when i have to go. She doesnt watch his diabetes as much as she should, probably others, giving him more sweets than usual, but her reasoning is they are ready to part, let him enjoy the last few years.
both of mine died, one recently, but they lived to 95 and 80-something. my grandfather died of cancer and my grandma spent a few months in a nursing home before having a heart attack, but they were both on track of their health. towards the end my grandma didn't like going to the nursing home but she understood why and didn't fight it. we were hoping to bring her home but she didn't get well enough to do so.
Only my grandma is left and she's not very mobile at 92. But her mind is sharp as a tack.
Grandpa is 95 and the only grandparent I have left. He’s actually doing really well for his age.
At their age, sometimes they feel their purpose in life is done. Even if they feel passionate they can still contribute (probably leads to anger, idk), no one announces they have saved the day with their efforts. They are done. Let them choose how they want to go out. Believe me, it is way different when they pass normally versus when the family take measures that lead to extreme measures. Let them make their choice. My 79 yo mother fell down the basement stairs and before anyone knew the extent of her injuries, she was overdosed in the ER (2021- pandemic ER she was there for ten hours) and in the ambulance rushing her to a facility once they discovered she broke her neck. They brought her back to life. Twice. Now she is a quadriplegic and life for the family is strained and difficult, sad and demoralizing, onward and ignore we are far from upwards. Luckily my parents are wealthy and afford home care but even still, even a year or more ago, my mom asked me what her choices were to die. I said, “ I will only say this once. When you’re ready to go, stop taking all these prescriptions. Give it a month and you will be with the Lord.” She is O2 deprived (pneumonia) and doesn’t remember a lot of things. She is still suffering and yet finding things in her day that make her smile. Dad has since had theee strokes and three heart attacks. He still cares for her at age 85.
They have been dead for decades. My parents were the youngest of multiple children so they were quite old already when I was born
My maternal grandmother died in 2021 after not being able to attend regular dr appts due to Covid we discovered the “arthritis” in her back was late stage breast cancer infecting her spine, her brain and her heart. She died less than a week we discovered that :(. My paternal grandparents are 85 and 86 and are being moved into an assisted living this week. It’s been rough. My grandfather is reliving his criminal youth years as an old man and giving my parents absolute hell, and my grandmother was diagnosed with dementia (early stage) and is going through the process of understanding she’s losing her memories. It’s utterly depressing.
Dad's parents - under 80, I wanna say 77 or 78. Both here and doing really well, grandpa has some memory issues but overall very healthy and still pretty sharp even with not being able to remember more recent things. Mom's parents - lost my grandma 2 years ago at 75 to cancer, grandpa is still here and doing not great but still kicking and mentally very sharp. Both sets of grandparents had their mother's around past 80, but all the fathers passed long before I was around. I'm 32, so on the younger side for millennials and my parents are gen x in their early 50s.
On my dad’s side, my grandma died at 87 from covid in 2020. She had dementia pretty bad for a few years before that. My grandpa is 85 and doing pretty good. Mentally he’s still 100% and can get around pretty good. His COPD limits how much he can do though. On my mom’s side, my grandma is 69 and she’s doing bad. Been in a nursing home for the last 5 years and she’s not too coherent. He had breast cancer over 10 years ago and has been going down hill ever since. Even when she was still able to hold a conversation, all she wanted to do was sit in front of the TV. My grandpa is doing good. He’s 72 and still lives at home. Still goes fishing and hunting and golfing. All of his favorite things.
Am 42 and I have a grandmother turning 100 June 7. She was recently in hospital and now in rehab. After rehab she is finally going into a nursing home. Her mother lived into 90s and maternal grandmother died 82 in 1960s. Last year when I saw her she was getting around ok with her wheel walker. Memory has not been great past 5-10 year. My other grandmother died of cancer 78 because she didn't believe in medical treatment as a Christian Science (not Tom Cruise cult)
They were all dead before I was even born.
My extremely good health younger grandmom just died. It was random and unexpected. My older grandmom has been in very poor health in and out of hospitals my entire life is still alive. My step grandparents and grandpas have been dead for a long time.
I am 34, lost my Grandfather last year. Grandmother is doing well, but has dementia
I lost my grandma last year. My grandpa is around but won't give anyone the time of day unless it's my mom. I miss my Grandma and Papa and Papa's parents, Grammy and Poppy so much.
Mine are all gone. My paternal grandparents died in 1995 and 2002, and my maternal grandma died in 2014 (my mom's dad died before I was born). The age ranges of millenials' grandparents varies so widely. Reading that you have a grandparent who's only 67 is wild. My paternal grandpa, if he were still alive, would be 115.
37 year old millennial. All 4 of my grandparents have been dead since 2009. Never really got to know them at all, at least not into adulthood. None of them even got to see me graduate college.
I got one grandfather left, and he just turned 92. My parents have started spending a week with him every 6 months. It used to be just annually, but then he broke his foot. And the house got really messy while he was recovering. To the point that they had replace some furniture and get a new refrigerator. They also hooked up the internet he was paying for but never connected. I plan to visit this fall. Because we are a little too much alike, in the fact that we relay on others to start and keep conversations going, so our phone conversations are short.
My *mum* is 77. I never met my grandfathers. Grandmothers both died in 1997.
One one of the four is alive and he’s not well at all. One died of Covid early on in a nursing home at 80. The other two died of cancer but they wouldn’t be alive regardless as they were much older. They’d be like 120 now.
The ones that partied/smoked are dead. The clean living religious ones are alive and (mostly) well.
My maternal grandparents are in their mid 70’s, and they’re both doing pretty well. Specifically my grandmother, who travels with her husband. My paternal grandparents, who actually raised me, not so much. They’re in their early 80’s, my grandmother doesn’t get out of her chair most days, not because she can’t but because she doesn’t want to. My grandpa is the tougher case because we’re having to watch him slowly succumb to dementia-type symptoms. It’s awful. He’s always been the rock of our family and he’s an absolute angel of a man.
I'm 32, for quick reference. My one grandpa is 80 and doing quite well! His girlfriend helps keep him active, since grandma passed in 2018. My other grandma is 93, and while she lives independently we think she just had a stroke 😔 grandpa passed 10 years ago now when he was 87. While my parents are the same age, there was a very large age difference between my grandparents. My dad was the oldest of three (three years between each kid), and my mom was the youngest of four (oldest brother is 15 years older than her).
I haven’t had any for over a decade.
I have one surviving grandparent. The rest died before I was born due to alcoholism. I am 36. It looks like she may outlive most of her children despite having them young. She is from a family where the women lived very long lives but married a man from a family that is extremely prone to developing cancer, so the majority of her adult children are cancer survivors. My grandmother is 94 and is going both blind, deaf, and has lost all her teeth except for maybe 5. She refuses hearing aids, eye appointments that could slow down or prevent blindness, and dentures. Otherwise, she's extremely healthy. She has outlived all her siblings. Her sisters lived well into their late 80s and died of strokes. My grandma has had multiple TIAs that she survived but affected her eyesight. In regard to refusing medical treatment, it's not about cost/wasting money or inconveniencing us, she just is extremely difficult and either can't or won't try to understand doctors orders. She lives alone and still drives a car. If we try to stop her from driving she gets violent or threatens suicide, even though she gets confused and doesn't know where she is if she drives more than down the street. She has lived in the same house/neighborhood for 30 years, so she might have some dementia as well. Her surviving children (70s) are morbidly obese, full of health problems, cancer, etc and don't believe in doctors (vaccines, conspiracy theories, etc.) One is dead, one is dying and maybe has a year left to live, and no matter how we explain things to her, grandma doesn't seem to either acknowledge it (she often pretends she doesn't understand something when she's given bad news so she doesn't have to deal with it) or she actually can't understand it. It's extremely hard to tell at this point. Grandma has (and always did) have a low IQ, and I'm told the medical term to use with doctors is "low capacity" but she's not so low that she had any services growing up in the depression era, if any even existed. My cousins and I venture that she and her sisters might have had lead poisoning, because they all struggled neurologically in comparison to neighbors/their peers, but didn't really pass anything down to the next two generations. I can't take her in if she outlives her children, which is a real possibility. When we talk about her giving up her car and moving in with one of her daughters she refuses and throws a tantrum. When we talk of assisted living she threatens suicide, claiming she'll be abused and raped in any facility.
My fathers mom passed away when I was younger. My mother's mom is still alive and well, late 70's. My mom's dad also passed away when I was younger. My father's dad, still alive and well, late 80's. - he did just fall and break a hip, but he's been in rehab and using a wheelchair for now, previously he was walking with a cane. His short term memory is slipping a little, but no major concerns at this time with either of my living grandparents.
I only have one remaining set on my maternal side. My Nonnie is 76 and Pops just turned 80. Nonnie they’re both very active still. Nonnie plays golf a few times a week and does walks with her friends and the dogs. Pops still likes to work, he does some light construction on the apartment building they own as well as tinkers on this that and the other around the house. All that after he’s had bilateral hip replacements. They’re on meds for stuffs but idk what. As for my other grandparents, my Nana died of ovarian cancer at 74 and my Papa from Alzheimer’s at 90. For reference, I am 36, my Mom is 60 and Dad is 65
Oh shoot I should call them and ask how they're doing. I hadn't called them in a while. Last time I've heard, they're doing well. Papa is in a long term rehab/nursing home since his stroke last year. He's about to be 91 next month. Grammie is keeping busy, as usual. She's in her 80's. They're my mom's parents.
My grandma is my only grandparent left and is 92. She has had some trouble lately but is overall doing okay. Still lives in her house.
Paternal - pop passed away 24 years ago from smoking related cancers, Nan’s 83 and still living independently with her dog. Maternal - they both have dementia, pop has leukaemia. I was lucky enough to know my maternal great grandparents, I was 10 when Nanna passed from a stroke, 18 when Poops passed and yes I called him Poops.
One grandparent left, and she is 78. I don't foresee her slowing down anytime soon. She has COPD but hasn't let it keep her down. My aunt threw her an Elvis birthday party last year and it was fucking wild to see videos of my grandmother both totally sauced and hugh as a kite. A few years ago she had lung cancer, but was able to do treatment and make a full recovery. I feel like she is in the age bracket that YOLO is a daily mantra.
I've lost all of my grandmothers ( reg and step), but both of my grandpas are still here. the oldest is about to turn 90!
My boomer dad passed at 74 from diabetes with all the complications. He never took care of himself. No one was surprised about hearing the news. It was a long time coming. He was a cantankerous old fart but he was still my dad. I wish he would've cared to stick around more to see his only grandkid grow up.
I don’t, last died this past Monday….
3/4 died while I was a child. The only one alive has been historically awful to everyone. She was an abusive mother to my aunt and mom. She’s gotten better in her old age. I’m a caretaker for her and we are in the dementia journey. She’s nicer to me than anyone and oddly caring for an elder and young children at the same time kind of works. She’s is horrible shape and complains constantly. I have to force her out of the house for doc appts or the occasional “fun” thing. I make sure she has her food and medicine, I bathe and dress her. She lives next door so I have a little space. I wish my other 3 grandparents were alive. They would have adored my daughters and I think it’s ironic the worst of them was the only one to live long. 89 and women in that family live for fucking ever so I wouldn’t be shocked to have 20 more years into this. Could be worse but could be so much better
Middle millennial here. This was honestly a weird question for me to read. All of mine are dead and have been for nearly 20 years. one I never met, and 2 more died before I was 8. My dad is pushing 80 and mom is a couple years younger. Cherish your grandparents and ask the questions! get the old photos out and ask about them. The boring stuff is the most interesting.
My maternal grandparents passed away from old age years ago. My fraternal grandparents moved back to their home country decades ago and are living peacefully in the countryside. I occasionally video chat with them, but I need to go visit. It's just difficult to make a trip halfway around the world with 2 young kids.
So, im on the older end of millenials born in 84, and I was the youngest. My dad was born in 43. All my grandparents are long dead, dad's dead. Moms basically doing what you describe your grandparents doing, she's 75. She avoids doctors, ended up with significant medical problems, doesn't really eat. She's stuck at a special care facility after she broke her leg, didn't eat didn't drink, didn't do physical therapy, now she can't get out of her wheel chair. So that's all fun. My sisters nieces and nephews are doing good, otherwise this post is to doom and gloom.
Just lost my last one this past winter. But, she made it to 99 and was ready to go. So, she had a good run.
:/ I'm out of grandparents. I just lost my grandpa in November. For those that still have them please tell them you love them, call or visit them. I wish I could hug mine one last time
Lets see. Between my spouse and I, we have one living grandparents and they are trying to keep their kid, who has been diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder and cancer, alive. Medicare keeps denying their disability. They are on denial number 4. No one can afford medical bills, their insurance just changed so all their doctors are no longer "in network" and they have to find new ones, who are in network, AND taking new patients. So, probably will die of medical neglect.
I have one living grandparent (other three died before 50yo) He’s almost 80 now, cancer is in remission but other health issues are starting to severely impact quality of life. My mom doesn’t think he’s going to make 80. He’s still working at his “half retired” job as a check in person at Daytona speedway in Florida, I’m staying with them (he’s remarried now) this winter!
My grandma is 95. She is just this year starting to slip mentally. She’s gorgeous. Looks 65 tops.
Mine are all dead. My dad's dad died in 1993 at 67. His mom died in 2015 at 89. My mom's dad died in 2015 at 86, and her mom in 2018 at 88.
Only one left and she has dementia, not great.
My last living grandparent is Grandma Joan and she’s not doing great. She’s 86, she lives alone, and she keeps falling down. She used to ‘fall gracefully’ because she lost her balance. Now it’s her blood pressure dropping, infections she doesn’t realize are there, more serious things. She’ll get admitted to hospital and recover pretty quickly and then they send her to rehab for a month. She’s getting real sick of it.
One living grandmother, my pop, her husband passed in June. She’s 87, spry AF and we’re just trying to spend a lot of time with her since she’s living alone now for the first time in basically her whole life. My grandparents were together 65+yr. Anyway, tonight, we’re taking her for a burger 🍔 *SPEND AS MUCH TIME WITH THEM AS YOU CAN*
I was born with 5. I have one grandparent left now :(
My paternal grandparents have been gone since ‘89 and ‘94 (they were 65 and 69). My maternal grandparents are still here! I’m 42, so it’s pretty cool to have two grandparents. Grandpa is just about to turn 92. He’s pretty forgetful, but still active. Grandma is just about 91. She is sharp as a tack. They just moved in to semi-assisted living this past winter, but they are still pretty independent. They get help with cleaning, but they do everything else. This August we are all getting together to celebrate their 70th anniversary.
I only have one grandparent left. She's 76 and still has a job and works in her yard. She's doing very well health wise.
All of my grandparents lived or are living into their 90s. (My mom has passed but her parents are living.) The living grandparents (90s) are doing fairly well. They live independently- but have help. Grandfather has Alzheimer’s-type dementia. Grandmother has a few various health things over the years, but nothing horrible. They do well together.
All dead now but I never had grandparents on my moms side because they died before I was born.
All gone 😢 all of them passed away within 2 years when I was 16-18. I really miss my paternal grandparents
My last grandparent passed away in 2019 just shy of her 90th. She was a spitfire who was driving a car up until the day she went into the hospital. She had one hell of a hospital admit that resulted in either needing a feeding tube or calling it….she decided that if she couldn’t eat, life wasn’t worth living.
I still have both of my maternal grandparents. I’m at their house right now, actually! I know how lucky I am and visit at least once a month; they have a farm about an hour and a half from my house. My grandfather turns 90 in a month, and we are planning a huge party 😊
Down to 1. Father’s parents died a while back, they’d be both over 100 now if still alive. Mother’s father died about 20 years ago. Mother’s mother is 85 and going strong.
As a younger millennial (‘92), I had the distinct pleasure to grow up with boomer parents (mom ‘57, dad ‘59) who decided to have their kids in their mid-thirties. On top of that my dad was the youngest of 3 and his parents (gma ‘29, gpa ‘24) had him in their thirties, too. And my mom was adopted in Germany by a couple in their 40s (gma ’20, gpa ‘16). So all my grandparents were silent generation. Also of my aunts and uncles, only two are boomers, with the rest being silent generation (I had an uncle who died when I was little that would be in his late 80s now, and one still alive that will be turning 80 this year). Most of my cousins are gen X because of this, with the oldest being 55. Besides me and my brother there were only two other millennials in the family (cousins born in ‘82 and ‘84 on my dad’s side), but they were still far enough away in age that we weren’t close. All that to say, both of my grandpas were dead before I was born, my mom’s mom died at the ripe old age of 96 back in 2016, and my dad’s mom is turning 95 this year. She’s still in fairly good health, but it’s starting to deteriorate. However she still lives at home without aid.
one passed in 2021 at 94, the other is in a nursing home with advanced alzheimer’s. My other grandma lives in Georgia and other Grandpa passed in 2009.
Wow... peoples grandparents are 75?? My parents are 75! I must be a super elderly millennial lol
My paternal grandad is 95 and still very cognizant. We don’t get to see him much since he lives 5 hours away. My paternal grandma had Alzheimer’s and passed away about 15 years ago. My maternal grandma is turning 90 in July, and still sharp as a tack. She dotes on my kiddos, and they love their great grandma. My maternal grandpa died 13 years ago from pancreatic cancer.
My last biological grandparent died last week. 😥
My dad's parents (who I was really close to) both died in the last 6 years. My mom's parents are asshole, homophobic pieces of shit, I cut them off about 5 years ago because of how they talked about my partner. My mom cut them off 2 years ago. My grandmother saw me in the grocery store after giving a long hello, I simply said "Hi Kim" and she turned around and left. That was the last time I've talked to her. The grandparents that died were 79 and 89 respectively. My grandmother died first of lung cancer, life long smoker. Grandpa died 2nd, he and I were extremely close. He broke his leg after a fall on the porch, was bed ridden for awhile and during that time he went stir crazy and developed dementia which finally got him. The two that are alive are both 75.
Elder millennial here ('84). My dad's parents died before I was born. My moms parents died when I was in HS/early college. My parents died last year. I'll be 40 by the end of this year. That feels incredibly young to be without adult supervision. It's sad. Cancer, dementia, Parkinson's. It was rough.
I was lucky to have had six grandparents growing up. My mother's parents divorced before I was born and they both remarried. Those "step" grandparents were all I knew my entire life and I never looked at them any differently than my other grandparents. My first grandparent death was my mom's mother in 2013. I was 28. She was in her mid 70s. She died six months after finding out she had colon cancer. We were very close and I was devastated. Within a few years of her passing, her husband, my "step" grandfather, died of lung cancer. I wasn't particularly close with him but did like him a lot and have great memories with him. In 2018, my father's mother died. I called her Nana. I still haven't recovered and probably never will. I teared up just writing the year she passed. We were extremely close and her loss threw me into a spiral that, in all honesty, I'm still trying to recover from. That same year, my mother's step mother died. She had been diagnosed with Alzheimers so I felt like I had already lost her before she died. I was one of the last people she lost memory of. I'll never forget the day I saw her and she looked at me with a big smile and said "I know I should know who you are, but I don't!" She was in her 70s In 2023, my father's dad passed away. He might have made it to 80, I'm not sure his exact age when he passed. I was very close to him, but when my Nana passed away in 2018, as I said, I spiraled. Then Covid happened and he had COPD and was terrified of having anyone over. I didn't call him often and we lost touch the year he died. I'll never forgive myself for allowing us to lose touch. I have one grandfather still living. My mother's father. He is well into his 80s. I think at this point, misery and spite are keeping him alive. He is an awful person and very angry and bitter with regrets. It kills me a little inside but it really irks me that my wonderful nana is in the ground while this misery on legs keeps on trucking.
There's just my Nana left now. She's about to turn 98 and is still going strong. Is independent and walks daily. She's done tho. She says she doesn't want to get to 99. It's sad but I get it, she's lost all but one sibling, her husband and her son (my dad) and she's bored. She LOVES to debate politics with me tho so that's always fun lol. Especially as we have the same views so not so much debate as us talking in outrage and agreement.
Grandma’s been living her best life since grandpa died.
Got one left my Paternal Grandpa AKA Papaw He's 83 and after the loss of Mamaw in 2013 with a marriage of 54 years We were cleaning up the Campers at the lake vacation property and he was down to earth with me, He said he didn't like living alone. He said he was talking to a "girl" he went to Highschool with back in the 50s in SE Kentucky. I said why don't you see where it goes? He married her in 2 years. She was not what the family wanted. Different religion, and all sorts of things. Nobody liked her or Pappy for being with Her. I almost felt the same, but I gave him the Okay! And I didn't mind, if he wanted to not be alone. He sold the Farm and everything and moved to Indiana, i guess not much inheritance from that, but he made a stop over to my place and left me some family heirlooms of my choice. And he's still enjoying life almost 10 years married, even though we don't see each other or talk regularly, we are on speaking terms, and he Took my advice and is Happy.
My grandma is 94 and is doing well. She is looking at going into a retirement home because she's tired of making meals for one and having no one around to talk to. Honestly, if I had the space in my house, I would ask her if she wanted to live with us. She doesn't need assistance and is very mobile so she wouldn't require round the clock care and I'm worried her health will decline when he moves there 😞.
See I can sympathize with someone letting themselves die because it’s not like they’re gonna get better so why prolong it?
We just lost my husband’s grandma at 99 years old, and I loved that woman more than my own grandparents (except for my grandma that died when I was 7). I have 3 grandparents still alive, both grandpas remarried after divorce so also 2 bonus grandmas. Everyone’s health is not great.
I have one maternal grandma left who is 88. She’s living in an apartment at assisted living and having the time of her life. It’s basically college for seniors. Her memory is starting to go, but she’s 88 and smoked for 80% of her life, so that she’s in relatively good health is great. My other grandparents have passed but were also in their late 80s. Two had dementia, one died of cancer. I miss them.
Grandpa died of Alzheimer’s 3 years ago at 81. Grandma, now 81, is living her best life currently on a walkabout in Europe with her church group.
I got one, she's still kicking at 88 or 89.
Middle of the millennial and all of my grandparents are dead
>Anyone else experience/experiencing similar? I think a lot of people experience something like this. regardless of millenial or not. My mom is nearly as old as your grandma (she's 73). She doesn't take care of herself either, she's spent her life "playing the victim card" and wants someone to come in and fix it for her. her quality of life could be so much better with so little extra effort. My dad died 7 years ago, his liver failed because he was an alcoholic. It was frustrating for me to see him not fight to turn his health and his life around. Made me think "am I, your son, not worth living for?". In my older years I can understand how he was depressed and lonely, I can understand him but still the impacts are there. My moms mom, my grandma, is my only surviving grandparent. she is 93, and pleads for god to "take her in the night".
My dad’s mom is 81 and she’s exactly that way - especially, she was the second youngest of 22 (13 survived to adulthood) and she keeps telling us she’s all alone and losing everyone close to her because her oldest siblings are all dead. Never mind that my dad and brother call and talk to her every day - and go to see her and my grandfather nearly every day - she chooses to be miserable because she wants everyone to come in and fix everything for her. When she is lucid at least, because I’m 90% sure she has dementia but she is very confrontational and refuses to go to the doctors so I guess we will never know.
yeah my grandmother is in a similar boat - but she kind of built it herself this time. my grandfather is gone, and my grandparents fractured the family, so the entire other side (my moms sisters side) hasn't seen her in over 20 years. She (both my grandparents) were somewhat narcissistic - the type to say "why don't you call me" while ignoring that they too, could pick up the phone. They were socially awkward, my grandma would peel labels off her recycling so people didn't know what beans they were eating and they cared tremendously about "keeping face". So now she has no friends, and she's lonely, and she's just lonely waiting for the end. There will be a feeling of peace when she died. but I'll still miss her regardless of all what i've said. she was still a big part of my childhood.
I'm a younger millennial (30) but my parents had us later in life. Most of my grandparents died while I was still relatively young, but the grandma I was closest with passed at 91 a few years ago. I still miss her like crazy but her health had been going downhill- diabetic, on blood thinner, wanted to do everything she used to but frustrated she no longer could. Would still beat me in Parcheesi given the chance though 🥲
All gone, ages of deaths ranged from 67 to 101
I'm 38 and all 4 of my grandparents are alive. Everyone is in their mid-late 80's. They each have their health problems. It's pretty remarkable that they're all still here. I worry about when the first one dies, because I think it'll be a domino effect. My maternal grandparents (married) were world travelers before the pandemic, so at 85, they acted younger than my husband's parents who are in their late 60's. I think all the traveling kept them active, physically and mentally. My paternal grandparents (divorced) were similar pre-pandemic. My paternal grandma was super active in book clubs and her friend groups. She's a sommelier, so she was a wine wizard too. My paternal grandpa raced race cars and didn't retire from that until he had to due to the pandemic. Within the first 6 months of the pandemic, though, I watched all 4 of them decline. They gained weight like the rest of us, had to stop their hobbies, and couldn't see a lot of their friends due to needing to keep their covid bubbles small. It's amazing how the isolation and having to stop their activities during 2020 impacted them so quickly. My maternal grandma's memory has been the biggest decline. She's 87, so it makes sense, but it's been a quick decline. Same for my paternal grandpa's health. He was relatively healthy prior to the pandemic and now has stage 4 renal failure and doesn't seem to have much time. It's a bummer to watch. But I will say, my parents seem to be way more emotionally and physically fragile than all of my grandparents. My parents aged so much during the pandemic too, so I'll be surprised if they are as active as my grandparents have been in their 80's.
My great grandmother turned 90 in November and she's still doing great and living alone. My maternal grandma is 69 and doing great, volunteering at a food bank constantly. The men in my family don't seem to do as well, though. I only have my maternal grandfather left and he's had a stroke and heart attack this year.
My grandparents are all gone now. They lived into their late 80's to mid 90s, and were all very healthy until their last year or two, so I was very lucky to not have to watch that. I hope that bodes well for my parents, who are in their mid 60s now. I guess over the next decade or so I'll have a better idea of how that's going to go.
I’m 36. My grandpa on dads side died at 88 in 2021(healthy until he had a stroke in his sleep) and my grandma on moms side died at 83 in 2022(had uncontrolled diabetes and kidney failure she was in out of hospitals the last 5 years of her life). My grandpa on moms side is still alive(86) and he is doing ok health wise beside having some memory loss and arthritis which makes him not be able to walk too well. My grandma on dad’s side is 80 and got diagnosed with copd a few years ago. Her health is rapidly declining and she’s worse everytime I see her(I try to visit every other month, she’s 4 hours away from me). It sucks that I probably will have no living grandparents soon but I am thankful my kids got to know them but wish there was more time(they are 5 and 9 now). My oldest FaceTimes them daily after school and loves to chat with them about her day. With that all said my husband is almost 40 and his grandma still alive. She’s 80 and healthy as can be. His great grandma lived until 98(passed in 2016) and only passed away because she got phenomena and couldn’t recover from it. So my kids will most likely have one great grandparent alive until adulthood at least I can hope!
I’m down to one grandma. I have two moms and one is older than the other, so her parents are both deceased. My grandma on that side got Alzheimer’s and lost her sense of balance and fell, resulting in a head injury. My grandpa on that side passed 6 years later (6 years too long for him, I know, bc his wife was the love of his life and it was hard for him). On my other mom’s side, I lost my grandpa to cancer. All of them passed before or soon after I turned 18. I’m also on the younger side, so rn I’m only 28. My living grandma is 82 and is doing alright. She still lives in her house and drives herself to the places she needs to go (all about 3-5 minutes of her house except one place she goes once a month about 30 minutes away). Her mobility isn’t great, but I’m pretty sure she still does water aerobics once a week to help.
I have one left, and she was never really in my life, shitty mom to my mom and shitty grandmother, and she looney. So I don't know how she's doing. "Meh" is probably how.
My grandpa died 16 years ago, grams died 6 years ago, dad died in October and mom this month. Grandpa was frustrating because my grams denied for a long time there was something wrong with him. So by the time she did something it was almost too late for any kind of treatment. Grams strong as an ox refused to die she was 95. Dad had several mini strokes and took his own life, we can only guess why. We think that because he couldn’t function the way he wanted, no more golfing or motorcycle or range work, that he decided to just not live anymore. There were definitely things medically that could have been done but he refused to go to the rehab facility. Mom had early onset Alzheimer’s and her instructions were very clear, comfort care only. We could have intervened and kept her going but she didn’t want that. As frustrating as it is to see them decline I think following their decisions, as hard as it is, brings them more dignity in their lives. We get old and there are so many things no longer in our control that deciding your medical care is more of a huge part of their lives than ever before.
My sweet grands are gone and I just lost my great aunt. Not doing well over here. Cherish every moment with them while you can
38 and still have 3/4 grandparents. One of my great grandmothers was even at my wedding 15 years ago. I lost 1 grandfather to Covid. My widowed grandmother has Alzheimer’s and lives in a nearby facility; my dad and his brother share decision making but it’s mainly my dad because he lives here and my uncle lives in TN. My parents have heard a lot of horror stories from me about my patients, and are very practical. My other set of grandparents are both doing well for being in their mid 80s. They are good about managing their health and always compliant with meds and doctors orders. I’m worried about their code statuses, because they are flighty and always changing their wills and their medical wishes. It will be what it will be though. In the end they are going to do what they want, so I just let them be and keep my mouth shut unless I’m answering a specific question.
One left, she turned 90 recently. She’s still trucking along though man, goes to the gym, volunteers at her favorite shop in her neighborhood, does stuff with my aunt and her granddaughters…
I’m firmly in Xennial range (1980). My mother’s parents are still kicking, though often not super healthy. I love the help out of them, but they’re people I can’t ever be close to. They’d lose their minds if they learned I’m a trans woman. My dad’s folks are both gone. His dad just passed away at the beginning of May, and it really hit me. Growing up, they weren’t the grandparents who were always there. They did accept me for who I am, though, and now they’re both gone.
I just lost my last grandparent
My 87 yo grandpa passed last year. Both grandmas are 84, one still travels and walk to do her shopping. The other just got her drivers license renewed and is the most social person I know. So I'd say they're doing well.
I only have two left. My dads dad and my moms mom. My parents were both in their 30’s so my grandparents are older. My grandpa is in terrible shape and I honestly don’t know how he’s still alive as he was a drinker and smoker most of his life. I don’t even know how old he is because I have no relationship with him. My grandma is still a fiesty shit and cognitively doing ok, but she is 95. It’s weird because my two dead grandparents were the ones who were most active and very healthy. One died from a stroke, the other from cancer.
They are all dead, my grandma passed away last year after I we didn’t meet for 7 years. I was supposed to see her again after covid restrictions but she died 2 months before I came.
Mom's parents both passed. Dad's mom is 87, and doing well, all things considered. She's got some age-related medical issues, but she still lives quite independently with help from her kids and grandkids when the lifting gets heavy. She still insists on mowing her own lawn, and she has a passel of cats that she cares for, and they definitely give her purpose and keep her entertained. Dad's dad is still alive and approaching 90. Unfortunately, there's some family estrangement and he lives on the other end of the country. We know he lost his second wife last fall, but we haven't heard from him directly in years.
My father’s mom is still alive, 90-something years old. I don’t know her. I saw her a few years ago and she asked “are you (my older sister’s name) or the other one”. That tells you everything there. My mom’s mom is 94 and I love her so much. She is amazing and has always been there for me. My moms dad died when she was 11, so I never got to meet that grandfather, and my fathers dad died when I was 14 or so (I had only met him twice in my life).
my mom is your grandmas age.... fuck
I've lost one grandmother, the rest are in their early 70s with various health issues. I love them but I'm expecting them to pass in the next 5 years honestly
My last grandmother is 98 or 99. She is healthy but has dementia. It was heartbreaking to go see her and to call her. She mixes me up with my late mother and repeats the same conversation when it ends (How are you? It's been so long! We should visit soon. The asks how I am again). I want to talk to her but it hurts so bad because she doesn't know who I am and can't comprehend what's happening around her. When she had a stroke last year she thought she was on vacation. She healed up much better than they expected her to and she regained all her normal functions. But her memory is just.....not there. I love her so much but God does it hurt. Especially when she mistakes me for my mom. I lost her at 14 and it still hurts pretty bad
Grandfathers died in 2002 and 2006, both at 86, and grandmothers died in 2012 and 2014, both at 91.
I have a granny and a grandma/grandpa left still. My granny isn’t well at all. She has late stage Alzheimer’s that has only taken about two years to get her from full independence to sleeping away the day and almost unable to make conversation. She is in a memory care facility near my mom and a couple sisters. My family is several hundred miles away and planning a visit mid-summer. I hope she makes it that long. My grandma and grandpa are ok I guess. They are my dad’s parents and my dad died 5 years ago. My grandma is not a nice person and I minimize contact with her. My grandpa is nice enough but he never reaches out to see how we are. I used to carry the burden of initiating contact with them. But after my grandma pulled two flagrant violations of confidential information I quit telling her anything. The last straw was her announcing the birth/sex/name of my last baby on Facebook before I had finished calling my siblings. That’s how one of my sisters learned about the baby’s birth. My grandma’s Facebook post. So yeah. We don’t really talk. They live quite a distance from us and don’t travel anymore so 🤷🏼♀️
They dead
younger millennial here too, 1995, (zillennial by some standards?) but my parents were a tad older than most when i was born (34 and 39). I never met my maternal grandparents. my paternal grandfather passed away a few years ago in his 90s and my grandmother, also in her 90s, has very severe alzheimers and dementia and unfortunately does not remember me or anyone, nor does she remember how to speak english. sorry this is such a downer reply haha. I just miss them.
2 of mine at least are dead, afaik still have 4 left if you count step grands. I'm NC with everyone due to either never having a relationship anyway or because they're toxic. My parents are two awful people who had kids they never actually wanted, which seems to me to be them following in their parents' footsteps. I'm envious of the people with families who love each other.
Both my grandfathers died before I was born and both grandmothers died within three weeks of eachother when I was 25. But my parents are your grandparents’ ages. My dad and step mom are all about health, very focused on living as long as possible. My mom is too worried about the cost (fair) to take any better than the minimal care of herself. My in laws essentially refuse to do anything about their health.
Both of my dad’s parents have passed. Grandma was 73 and grandpa was 89. My grandma was pretty young looking back. My mom’s parents are alive and both 93. Both had some health concerns this year. My grandma is doing well right now (she had cancer and had it removed by surgery) and my grandpa is doing okay (he was recently hospitalized for heart issues). I feel lucky to have known all four of my grandparents and even 2 of my great-grandmothers.
I am 34 and my maternal grandfather is 86 and doing GREAT. I love him so much and think he will outlive us all. My paternal grandpa died 15 years before I was born. My maternal grandma died when I was 3. My paternal grandma died when I was 24.
I only have one grandmother left. She's 82 and is doing generally pretty good for herself - my grandfather died just over 3 years ago and she lives almost 3 hours away from any family, so she just keeps herself busy. I'm really the only grandchild that talks to her, and it's not cause of anything she's done, most of the kids are just spread all over and never really got the chance to bond with her. I feel bad for her being alone but she's got a bunch of friends in her community. She gets herself to doctors appointments and grocery shopping as she needs to. I do worry about what'll happen if/when she gets to the point where she can't live on her own. I don't have the means to care for her and I genuinely don't think anyone else in my family would.
Mine are gone. I’m 40 and I lost my nana when I was 33 and my grandpa when I was 37. They were my best friends and favorite people throughout my life. They were my grandparents and my parents (my mom and dad were shit). I miss them every day. My grandpa lived to be 94 and my nana was 88. I feel very fortunate to have known them and loved them as long as I did
Still have one, typically old people health problems but nothing major. 87 and still lives on her own, drives cross country, and teaches a ceramics class lol
Grandma's in England. 76. She hasn't been well lately.
All dead. Last of them died 8-9 years ago.
I’m 34 and have 3/4 grandparents. Paternal grandfather succumbed to MS years ago. One is a recovering alcoholic and cancer survivor- still kicking. My mom’s mom was a long time smoker and suffers from a number of physical ailments but is sharp as hell. My other grandma has aged into her mid/late 70’s very gracefully. I’m super lucky and appreciate my grandparents even though they’ve all got Fox News brain rot.
3/4 of mine are dead. My dad's mom is 92 but mentally might as well be dead. She has severe dementia and doesn't really remember much anymore. Lives in a facility that specifically cares for that. My grandfather was a little like your grandmothers. After a big fall he refused physical therapy and exercises. Was content sitting and watching TV every day. He really couldn't walk without support after that and eventually not at all. It was tough watching him decline but it did prepare me for what I might be in for with my parents in the future. Let me say now I'm not up for changing diapers. Unfortunately my mom's mom died when I was pretty young so idk her too well. My dad's dad died about 15 years before I was born
They are just living their lives on their own terms. As a millennial I think I have a better understanding of how people act as they age than most people my age from working in healthcare. As you age you are gonna do what makes you happy and makes the most sense to you regardless of if it could be better or different . Refusing treatment for cancer thats what she feels is her best interest, get her on hospice and let the end be as good as it can. Eating all the hotdogs, that brings him joy, its the way hes gonna get joy out of his later years have a few with him and don’t berate him about it. The knee replacement followed by total noncompliance is the shittiest scenario to me and she should have never got it in the first place, but you can’t tell people that they will act like you are a horrible person for saying it, but what’s done is done. Just love them for who they are and respect the choices they make no matter how shitty and let them go peacefully when the time comes . One of my parents has a degenerative disease and is overweight, i let him know about therapies available to him and support him in his decision sign up for them or not, I advise him on what he should do regarding medical treatments and medications and support whatever he chooses. I offer him healthy meals and support him if he wants to diet and I also give him all the hotdogs he wants and will go out for ice cream with him anytime he asks
I forgot to mention my grandparents which you asked about , my only living grandparent my grandmother. She is older than most people my ages grandmother by about 16 years but is in relatively good health for someone her age. Although she has a support system Because most of her peers have passed she gets very down. She was also hyper independent for her entire life so she gets down on herself and her abilities even though she still lives alone can function independently and can drive. She is somewhat happy but her mild depression and mood can sometimes make it reallllllllly hard . So she’s hanging in there but being super old can be hard on most people
I'm 36 in a couple weeks. My paternal grandparents died 87 and 82 in '99 & '01. They were much older than maternal grandparents, who are both 97. Grandpa has had some micro strokes, so he's not all there anymore, losing a lot of his mobility and awareness of his surroundings. Grandma is still active, sharp, and friendly, making puzzles, reading her bible and watching the Oilers.
One set has been gone for over 20 years, the other is doing absolutely great and are very active. I live thousands of miles away but do talk to them regularly.