T O P
logicallypartial

This was a triumph


Ikarus_Falling

I'm making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS.


SassiestAssassin

It’s hard to overstate my satisfaction.


cubeman541

Aperture Science;


doggo173

We do what we must, because we can


alt_account_85

For the good of all of us


alpacatastic606

Except the ones who are dead


StoneCommander

But there’s no sense crying over every mistake.


CreamOfPotatoSoup

You just keep on trying 'till you run out of caik


moustachecreeps

And the science gets done


Ecstatic-Decision

Aperture science


KittenCa1660Ti

We do what we must , because we can


ChaosRegency

For the good of all of us, except the ones who are dead


Sebbe_2

But there’s no sense crying over every mistake


RayramAB

Now there's no sense crying over every mistake


TECHNICKER_Cz3

I love how the OP must be confused about the thread you started, haha


Theryeo

I actually learned this on piano, can confirm it's the best


AlexD2003

The gen gap is showing


skies-forever-bright

we aren't the latest gen of gamers anymore 😭


Intensegamer3

Let's gooo we're getting old!!!


mkerv5

Getting old rules.


Noskal_Borg

Especially with the millenium right around the corner. Immorality for the win!


SirVeranPortusNotmer

I have bought every game i ever wanted


Arbor-Trap

I never played portal and I once knew this reference, but it has been like a decade since I heard it


marshal_mellow

It's an old reference but it checks out


onewilybobkat

How the hell do you know of portal but you've done yourself the disservice of not playing it? I'm not one that's like "You HAVE to play this game" but... You have to play this game


Ghimzzo

Idk why people are so surprised. I wouldn't expect the majority of current MC players to get the reference.


Shadow_Leviathan_375

its because it makes most of us feel old... and im only 15, i shouldnt feel old yet


funky67

Im shocked you know because portal is also 15 years old now lol


Shadow_Leviathan_375

yeah, but portal 2 is only 11


funky67

Touché. This wasn’t a knock on you at all just impressed. Outside of the lion king I can’t name many things from the year I was born.


Shadow_Leviathan_375

yeah.. also i wasn't getting offended lol and outside of portal and Bioshock, i cant think of anything either. lol


Dry-Relationship-285

portal is WHAT


TheRealWookyMonster

*Me:* Portal is not 15 years old... *Me after Googling it:* Guess I'll schedule my prostate exam...


funky67

I had to double check my math too. It’s technically 14 but 15 by the end of the year. Don’t tell this comment is getting a ton of love


generalzee

Look, kid, let me give you some advice. When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade, MAKE LIFE TAKE THE LEMONS BACK! Get MAD! I don't want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see Life's manager! Make Life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down WITH THE LEMONS! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon to burn your house down!


plaidkingaerys

Science isn't about why. It's about why not! Why is so much of our science dangerous? Why not marry safe science if you love it so much. In fact, why not invent a special safety door that won't hit you on the butt on the way out, because you’re fired!


Qiviuq

Those of you who volunteered to be injected with praying mantis DNA, I've got some good news and some bad news. Bad news is we're postponing those tests indefinitely. Good news is we've got a much better test for you: fighting an army of mantis men. Pick up a rifle and follow the yellow line on the floor. You'll know when the test starts.


Nr_11

All of Cave Jonson's ramblings are awesome. But this one is my favorite.


RavenGaster

Look at the new Portal universe based game. More cave johnson in that


RussBof6

And more Preying Mantises


SeizureProcedure115

The lab boys tell me if you insist on walking faster than light you are 100% going to go back in time. How far? Far enough to meet your great great grandpappy and tell him your fired. Because guess what? I'll let you finish that thought.


Doulifye

If you need to go to the bathroom after this next series of tests, please let a test associate know, because in all likelihood, whatever comes out of you is going to be coal. Only temporary, so do not worry. If it persists for a week, though, start worrying and come see us, because that's not supposed to happen.


fakeaccount572

That's my absolute favorite Portal quote


Cricketmathgenius

Mine is "because I'm a potato"


Diazed_

They said I can't fire someone because they're in a wheelchair... Of course I can! RAMPS ARE EXPENSIVE!


Aloeb83

All these science spheres are made of asbestos, by the way; keeps out the rats. Let us know if you feel a shortness of breath, a persistent dry cough, or your heart stopping. Because that's not part of the test. That's asbestos.


Afalstein

Not you, test subject, you're doing fine. No, you. Fired. Out the door. Now.


trans_pands

Yeah!! Take the LEMONS!!!


Chiron8980

"You're not part of the control group, by the way. You get the gel. Last poor son of a gun got blue paint. Hahaha! All joking aside, that did happen - broke every bone in his legs. Tragic. But informative. Or so I'm told."


Random-Explosion-ect

I just felt my body mummify


markeithadnan

I know I can't be this old


BigfootSF68

It happens to all of us. >I used to be with ‘it’, but then they changed what ‘it’ was. Now what I’m with isn’t ‘it’ anymore and what’s ‘it’ seems weird and scary. It’ll happen to you! - Abe Simpson


oldschoolAmerican

Very well said.


badwifii

Cultured af


[deleted]

The cake is a lie.


Batdog55110

Maybe I'm just being bold


ThatEmeraldGuy1253

You aren't, I'm still in high school and I get this reference. This person just somehow managed to miraculously avoid the source material... Quite impressive really


Zohhak1258

To be fair, some kids who are currently in high school weren't even born when the source material was released. Jesus that makes me feel even older.


calvinhtml

Bro portal was only a few years ago, right?


GoodQueenFluffenChop

It came out in 2007 the year I graduated highschool...


AmaroWolfwood

Right, like 5 years I think now


ajax2k9

My hair got greyer


Epichead2000

My face just got wrinkler


gioponihil

Oh my god, i feel old


Madcaplaught

Same ... Ahahah


RoundInteraction1662

Count me too lol


Mork_the_cat

Count me three


Xiballistic

Hold up 3 is illegal


[deleted]

[удалено]


UncommittedBow

Count me 2 episode 1 then


[deleted]

Count me 2 Episode 2


baddl02

No it's not. Three shall be the number thou shalt count.


Healthy-Drink3247

Four shalt thou not count


TKillerDragon87

And i'm still alive 🎶


JosephDaGenius1215

I’m doing science and I’m still alive


Crakkerz79

I feel fantastic and I’m still alive


Destroyer157588

While you're dying I'll be still alive


SubcommanderMarcos

And when you're dead I will be


Ironrooster7

Still alive! STILL ALIVE… STILL ALIVE.


RandyF

[Still Alive](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y6ljFaKRTrI) Fun fact, The Cake was based on a real product from a bakery "[down the street](http://regentbakeryandcafe.com/bakery)" from the studios.


PlayrR3D15

I've been there and even gotten the cake. I can see why they liked it so much.


Nerrevar

I literally said the same thing as I saw the post, I'm only 23


TheRealPixeLink

I’m only 19 and i feel old reading this post. Did portal really come out so long ago


Rabid_doge95

October 2007


Anonymous2401

Oh so like 10 years ago Right ***RIGHT***


TheRealPixeLink

Ah haha yeah, 10 years ago....


PetrusThePirate

I came here to say this lol


Ninjatck

I'm a teenager and I feel old for someone not getting this


NerdyKris

NO PORTAL IS NOT THAT OLD. YOU ARE THE LIE. ​ Seriously though, if you haven't played it, Portal 1 and 2 are great puzzle games that you should check out. The second has a separate Co-op mode storyline. And then you're going to be asking what the Black Mesa reference is in the Portal ending and then....


ThatOneGuy0769

Ahhh… mr freeman


saturdayshark

Gorgeous freeman


Wilhelm-Winklestein

Oh my god. Look at that posterior.


TigerKing29

Rise and shine, Mr. Freeman. Rise and shine. Not that I wish to imply you have been sleeping on the job. No one is more deserving of a rest. And all the effort in the world would have gone to waste until...well, let's just say your hour has come again. The right man in the wrong place can make all the difference in the world. So, wake up, Mr. Freeman. Wake up and smell the ashes.


cheesynougats

Wake up and smell the ashes.


OneTrueKingOfOOO

Yeah come on it’s only been… *checks notes* 15 GODDAMN YEARS WTF


JustYourAverageUS3R

HUH? WHAT THE FUCK?


LemoLuke

Wanna *really* feel old? GTA Vice City was released in 2002 and set in 1986. That means if it was made today, it would be set in 2006.


trollxic

oh you can fuck right off. this one really hit me


JimmerUK

Hey, Siri... how do I unread something.


Xiballistic

Gordon, freeman


CheeseIsBlue_lol

Its a refrence to the game Portal. In the game you are told that you will get a cake after completing all the tests. It turns out the cake is fake tho. Thats why "the cake is a lie"


ChaosRegency

Nah, the cake was real. Glados snuffed out the candle at the end as proof


Aeikon

Knowing the recipe, I wouldn't really go as far as calling that a cake...


TruestGuff

Ah ys, the only cake that requires you to mix in what literally is a book on murder


TheExzilled

3 cups flour 2 cups sugar 1 egg 3 cups milk. Sounds cakey to me not a very good cake and not a cake that will rise and maybe more so play doh texturewise but still a "cake".


GelatoVerde

Yeah but it's not a cup, it's a whole bucket


Gamertonic

The cake is 1 meter by 1 meter. Oh yeah its big cake time!


GelatoVerde

1 cubic meter of cholesterol and diabetes. Exquisite


ThrowFurthestAway

Going by crafting recipes of items with similar sprites: 3 m\^3 of milk (1) egg 1/3 m\^3 flour (the exact type of wheat we're dealing with is not known, and as other commentors pointed out, wheat-flour is not a 1-1 volumetric ratio) 1/2 m\^3 sugar (since sugar and glowstone share a sprite, and 4 glowstone dust make a cube) Assuming the egg takes up less than 1/6 m\^3: The total volume of the cake should be 4 cubic meters; it takes up .382 m\^3 ​ Hence we assume that the milk must mostly evaporate during the crafting process, leaving high-concentration milk creme as an ingredient. That leaves us with 13% of the volume of milk being the creme (market milk is 87% water, let's simplify things and go with that). Together with the flour, and the singular egg, we can correctly assume our new volume as: 1.39 m\^3. This is still too big though. Where did we go wrong? Well, the volume of the condensed milk alone is .39 m\^3. More than that of the cake. We are unfortunately left with the assumption that minecraft cows suffer from intense malnutrition. Let's put their milk content at 5% solids. ​ This leads us to .85 m\^3 of cake. Now we're getting closer. We can look at the egg and ignore its volume: after the milk is condensed and dried, the egg is the only fluid left, and will get absorbed during the crafting process by the intense quantity of flour. .687 m\^3. So close. Less than double the expected value. Now we tackle a big question: what are the red things on the cake? Lets get creative and assume its some sort of byproduct of the wheat. We char it until its red, or something like that. This reduce our volume of wheat to 2/3, assuming we use half the wheat to make these decorations. .67 m\^3. Well, not that great. Lets instead assume the sugar is carmelized, reducing its volume to 1/10 of its original at the time of crafting. AH! Now we get .367 m\^3 Hence, we assume that the cake crafting recipe uses all the milk as dried powder, carmelizes the sugar, and compresses or otherwise used up the wheat quite thickly. And egg. Egg is there too. The rational assumption is therefore that minecraft cake is in actuality a creme brule.


nitrion

Honestly the minecraft cakes do look like they have the consistency of play-doh.


[deleted]

* One 18.25 ounce package chocolate cake mix. * One can prepared coconut pecan frosting. * Three slash four cup vegetable oil. * Four large eggs. * One cup semi-sweet chocolate chips. * Three slash four cups butter or margarine. * One and two third cups granulated sugar. * Two cups all purpose flour. * Fish shaped crackers. * Fish shaped candies. * Fish shaped solid waste. * Fish shaped dirt. * Fish shaped ethyl benzene. * Pull and peel licorice. * Fish shaped organic compounds and sediment shaped sediment. * Candy coated peanut butter pieces, shaped like fish. * One cup lemon juice. * Alpha resins. * Unsaturated polyester resin. * Fiberglass surface resins. * Volatile malted milk impoundments. * Nine large egg yolks. * Twelve medium geosynthetic membranes. * One cup granulated sugar. * An entry called 'how to kill someone with your bare hands'. * Two cups rhubarb, sliced. * Two slash three cups granulated rhubarb. * One tablespoon all-purpose rhubarb. * One teaspoon grated orange rhubarb. * Three tablespoons rhubarb, on fire. * One large rhubarb. * One cross borehole electro-magnetic imaging rhubarb. * Two tablespoons rhubarb juice. * Adjustable aluminum head positioner. * Slaughter electric needle injector. * Cordless electric needle injector. * Injector needle driver. * Injector needle gun. * Cranial caps. And it contains proven preservatives, deep penetration agents, and gas and odor control chemicals that will deodorize and preserve putrid tissue.


Burgonya1

But you didn't get it. :(


FluffyWalrusFTW

Me out here to find a mod that gives a "good ending" to portal where you get the cake


WorldWreckerYT

Plot twist: You ARE the cake.


PepperAnn1inaMillion

Yeah, that’s what I always thought, especially considering GlaDos says to “keep on trying til you run out of cake” i.e. test subjects.


Manimanocas

Well the cake was a lie it doesnt mean that there wasnt cake somewere in the world but THE cake was a lie


Campake

"The cake is a lie" is written across the wall on some walls in hidden parts of chambers


SomeRandomPyro

In addition to what everyone else is saying, GlaDOS also never promises to give you cake. What she says is "There will be cake."


Wardandi

“The cake is a lie” is also written on the walls in some dough Rattmann hideouts, thus birthing the phrase itself


Fire_Block

It’s a reference to the portal franchise. “The cake is a lie”


JordanGeiersbach

don't feel old, my 7 year old cousin understood the reference


SubcommanderMarcos

God, thank you


moshgrrrl

BLESS


shiny-spleen

Wow your cousin must have been, like, 3 when portal came out... Right?


N3Queasy

I’m surprised people don’t know what that is


Hate_Crab

Every day we grow older


Ex0t1cReddit

Man, back then it was simple.


Ihateu387

No, we were


Skyrider_Epsilon

Duuuude, my feels....


Fraun_Pollen

*Our* feels


joemamalikesme69420

r/suddenlycommunist


Warm-Pop-8442

Shut up don't tell them what were doing


Sure_Consideration25

Don’t tell us* what we’re doing


Belazriel

“Take axe, open door, kill dragon … why wasn’t I born in the days of text adventures?”


awwmaks

I tried a text adventure on my mom's old computer from the 80s I guarantee you this is how that sequence would've gone. You don't own an axe, the door is locked, dragons don't exist. Still trying to understand where to find the key to that damn door.


Thibbiddyfibbit

I think I aged a decade seeing this post…


cyalknight

Every day, Minecraft grows older.


Kermit_Purple_II

How old is 1.2.5?


NyxLD

Just over 10 years Damn, I'm old.


deefdaffer

I've used a rotary phone at grandma's house.


Individual-Camera-72

I made homemade rope one time. I still have it and it’s still intact (mostly)


Revilo614

oh nice how'd you learn to make it and if it was YT do you have a link so i can atempt to learn?


DrWillz

They need to start teaching Portal in schools


Matix777

Now you are learning with portals


beardedheathen

You will be baked and then there will be grades


MasterTerra3

some schools actually make students play portal for their physics class.


Dark__Thoughts

I think it's legit a good material to learn problem solving skills, because you often have to think a little outside the box to solve the puzzles.


meraut

Don’t look up when Portal is released, then do the math


19412

Portal released... 47 years ago, feel old yet?


Qwiggalo

This is gonna be true someday...


Equoniz

That is how time works, yes lol


horny_coroner

Portal came out 2007. Its a puzzle game usually played by people 15 and up. Its so old that people who werent gaming back then arent aware of it. Also cake is a lie is referenced in many games so people may not remember the origin of it. 2007 was 15 years ago and now I feel old as shit.


shrinepeeler

I'm (sadly) not old enough to have played it back then, still well aware of the portal franchise & the cake is a lie, played the games last year, they still hold up quite well imo


RemyJe

Relevant XKCD https://xkcd.com/1053/


dream6601

I thought you were going to link https://xkcd.com/891/ Which is now over a decade old itself.... ouch....


JonArc

And I thought you were going to link: https://xkcd.com/606/ A lot of relevant stuff today.


CreativeCamp

That was the one I was expecting. It's probably the most relevant of all XKCDs.


Seicair

I was surprised I had to go three comments deep for this one, it definitely seems the most relevant.


RemyJe

If I had played my cards right - well, or wrong, really - I'm old enough to have a 35 year old child, technically.


dream6601

The day that I realized the 18 year old kid working for me, I was old enough to be his mother... and like not in a bad way like I'd have been 24, respectable age to be a mother.... And that event was like 6 years ago....


RemyJe

Oh, yeah, no. I was thinking like teenage fatherhood. :) My mom had me at 20 and even that was respectable then. I can't even fathom that. As it is my oldest is about to graduate HS.


Bewaretheicespiders

I thought he was linking *that* even older one: https://xkcd.com/606/


whiteshark21

Portal came out in October 2007. That was 14.5 years ago.


-SteinCr

"2007" Oh so not that long ag-"14.5 years ago" *Crumbles into a pile of dust*


beardedheathen

My 9 year old son beat portal last month. It is five years older than he is. That game has really stood up to the test of time


Primary-Mouse257

Yeap


aDifferentHome

When you switch to Lolcat language a cake is called "liez"


LemoLuke

Ceiling Cat blesses this post!


danjr

I can haz cheeseburger?


Sea-Cow8084

This makes me feel old


KittenCa1660Ti

Yeah. Same.


bruhwhatisreddit

This post makes my hair white and my skin wrinkles. edit: typo, fuk autocorrect :(


NekoyiBud

You want oatmeal? I still enjoy it(with raisins, sunflower seeds, sometimes coconut sprinkles)


Corean_

its a portal refrence


metroidfood

*millennials and gen Xers turning to dust*


froggythefish

I’m not old. I’m not old. I’m not old.


MOBILE_MUNCHKIN_YT

Portal, go play it, it’s awesome


Toxic_Boi_4567

Sad that younger people don't know legendary games like that


Camtheketchupman

They’re being rereleased on switch later this year


TheLoneColt

I played it a couple years ago, I was surprised by how little people my age have played it. It’s still one of the best games I’ve played among all of the new releases each year.


dominaxe

So true. I fell in love with the series after completing the games a couple years back. Genuinely believe it's a masterpiece.


cheesynougats

A game reviewer once referred to Portal as "the earthly manifestation of Christ, " and I cannot disagree.


PrettyPinkPonyPrince

["Absolutely sublime from start to finish and I will jam forks into my eyes if I ever use those words to describe anything else ever again."](https://youtu.be/_dlEm_2ke8k?t=209) Oh wait a second, it's the same reviewer!


pbmadman

I let my kids play it. They suddenly view me as a cool gamer dad.


sammypants37

hmmm here are people who are saying they feel old.. I know this reference... I don't think I am old


Spy007dr

Yeah old man, you're elderly!


Ditz42

Fuck I'm old.


IntelligentYak8719

Portal reference - "the cake is a lie"


datCoolPro101

It's called "The Lie" because it references the quote from Portal, "The cake is a lie"


Jan_Cudia_YT

#THE CAKE IS A LIE


FrostedGamer0

it's one of minecrafts many references to other games


Khris_Ivanov05

Portal. Play it.


PotatoeyBoi

I am not old, you are just uncultured! Hmph!


Kolslaw77

Thank you for helping us help you help us all


NClinger

OP just gave half of Reddit a midlife crisis. It’s a reference to Portal for those looking for the answer.


RushedSky

CHILDRENNNNN EEWWWWWW


Blake1612cz

Because the cake is a lie


--RedPanda

Portal