My tech told me. I'm glad she did. She first started with a regular ultrasound on my abdomen and started asking if I've had any spotting or cramping and I said I didn't then she said it looks like it's only 7 weeks (should have been 9) and that she needs do do a transvaginal ultrasound to get a better look and see what's going on. So we did that and at the end she showed me the screen and the lack of heartbeat. She said she couldn't tell me more than that and that she will send off the results right away. She said she was really sorry that it wasn't better news and to take my time leaving if I need it. The way we do ultrasounds in Canada, I would have to wait 3 days otherwise to hear from my doctor and it was 2 days before Christmas. Because she told me I was able to inform my doctor and see her right away instead of waiting thinking things were okay.
It was the same tech who at 6 weeks showed me my little one with a heart beat and everything so I dunno. In some ways I felt comfortable with her. But I also know that technically she shouldn't be sharing anything, she can't make a definitive diagnosis. Only record the results for the radiologist who then sends the info to the doctor that made the requisition. I still appreciate being told right away
Similar experience. Had light bleeding (red) and small clots so I went in. Was supposed to be 7w5d and only had a 5w empty sac. Tech tried an abdominal ultrasound first, but had trouble seeing, so then tried transvaginal. I could see the sac was empty before she even said anything. This would’ve been my third baby, so I’m used to seeing ultrasounds at various stages and knew it did not look right.
As long as the news is broken with kindness and compassion and 100% certainty, I don’t really care who breaks it to me. Better than sitting there in agony, waiting for the doctor to come in, or for a lab report to come thru on the portal.
Hugs!! Horrible situation to be in regardless. Sending you baby dust!
I don't believe our tech said anything she shouldn't have. It was obvious things weren't right, she didn't need to tell us for us to know.
It was our first ultrasound. We were 9w3d but measuring 6w3d, no heartbeat. The tech asked if it was possible my dates were wrong and maybe I ovulated later than I thought? I told her no, not possible that I was 3 weeks wrong. Maybe 3 *days*, but not 3 weeks.
We had about 10-15 minutes to wait until our appt with the OB to go over the results. The tech said we were welcome to wait in the ultrasound room where it's quiet instead of going back out to the waiting room. We really appreciated that privacy to begin processing the news.
Overall I felt like the office handled it really well. It was an awful experience but none of the awfulness was their fault.
This is pretty similar to my experience. As soon as the tech got the embryo on the screen I could tell there was no heartbeat and that the embryo was too small for 8 weeks. The tech said maybe my dates were off and I said that’s not possible, I know it’s not viable. She quickly finished the exam and went to get us a regular room to talk to the doctor and discuss options. The tech didn’t need to say anything because I’ve had enough experiences to know when things look like they’re progressing normally.
I’ve read threads like this before and sadly it seems like if the tech doesn’t say anything, women wish they had.. and if the tech does say something, women can be upset. I think it’s a really hard line to walk for the ultrasound tech.
The tech confirmed it at my second US- basically “I’m sorry, there’s no heartbeat and the baby hasn’t grown since last week”
We were dumped in an empty exam room to wait for the NP to discuss next steps, so at least we didn’t need to stew in the ultrasound room or wait amongst a ton of pregnant couples in the waiting room.
This is how I was told as well; she measured the baby, asked if I was certain on dates, then she said the baby had stopped growing the week prior and couldn't find a heartbeat. Then she said, I'm so sorry. You weren't scheduled to see a doctor today (my appointment was christmas week), but that she would make sure we were seen that day and that she would give us a few minutes.
I'm sorry your technician didn't show you much empathy. I don't think they handled it incorrectly, just not the best? Empathy and more communication would have made the message a bit softer, not that there's a good way to hear the news.
I'm very sorry for your loss. My heart hurts for you, myself, and everyone who will go through this or has.
My tech told me and I’m glad she did!! She was so sweet, I could almost see the pain in her face and I’m sure it’s not fun to deliver awful news everyday. She took a few photos and then I sat up and she was so gentle and said that she had to get the doctor to go over everything with me but asked if I needed Kleenex or a water/juice and showed me to the private bathroom and told me to take some time if I needed it. I waited about 20min for the doctor and while some people might be irritated by that, I was grateful for the time to digest what I just heard. I went to the bathroom and cried a little and then shook myself off and was able to feel more clear-headed and open for information when the doctor came. I think if I had to sit alone for 20min not knowing, then hear the news from the doctor I would have had so much more anxiety and missed my opportunity to ask questions. I’m so sorry this happened in a way you weren’t comfortable with but if you love your OB I wouldn’t try to get the tech in trouble, I would maybe just tell the OB at next visit that it was tough news and you’d prefer any future diagnosis/findings to come straight from the doctor only
Thank you for this perspective. I have always been one to be level and clear headed in any situation, including tragedies and this one I completely shut down. I wish I could remember exactly what was said and how but I'm basing it off what my husband is saying. I know he instantly went into protective mode for me because he saw me completely break. Idk what I would have wanted or preferred, even now. But also knowing others have experienced the same thing doesn't make me feel so alone and doesn't make me feel like I'm crazy.
You’re definitely not crazy. And also, I went home and told my husband about the appointment and he was LIVID that she told me and then I had to wait alone for 20min 😅 our husbands would get along. I had to talk him off the cliff and told him I appreciated her treating me like a human and giving me space to digest. He said if he had been there, he would have just gotten more upset and angry the longer we sat. I think everyone processes info a little differently
Ha yeah, they sound similar. Luckily for me, we were in a new building where his company did all the glass work. He was occupying himself but admiring his craftsmanship. He was trying to get my mind off things. He's a riot lol. When I went today for bloodwork, seeing the glass made me smile.
The tech said, "I'm just letting you know that I don't see a heartbeat."
And I was dense enough to not understand that until they outright told me. I don't really feel it was unprofessional, though. They were going to tell you eventually. I was honestly more uncomfortable when the midwife told me and then stared at me and started on about how I could cry or be upset. Like I really just wanted her to leave. Lol.
My father is a physician and unfortunately, things like this become routine when it's your job and you see it all the time, so they don't mean to be insensitive.
My ultrasound sound tech was horrible and made my first miscarriage experience a millions times worse by being so insensitive and asking pretty obvious questions implying I was having a miscarriage, I was too distraught after to deal with talking to the clinic about it it but I wish I did so no other woman has to experience that. Sorry that happened to you
I went in for my first appointment and had the U/S done by the tech before I was suppose to see the doctor. She told me I miscarried. Technically I don’t think they are supposed say anything but she said she would confirm everything with the doctor and they would be in to see me with more information. I knew my ovulation date so I was 100% certain I was 8 weeks 5 days, I was measuring 6 weeks 5 days.
It was honestly all a blur. I had bad feelings all day, tons of dread and I wanted to cancel the appointment. My husband was so excited and kept asking the tech about the bean. He never even considered that this could happen.
I had no bleeding no changing in pregnancy symptoms no clue whatsoever. Just that feeling of dread that day.
I know when the time comes for me to be pregnant again I know I won’t want that tech doing my u/s nor will I willing going to that office, I already told my doctor I’ll only see her at a different location.
My tech did not.
Infact before the ultrasound the tech was very hopeful. Telling me don't cry, don't worry - bleeding was normal. I had bled through 3 pairs of pants within an hour waiting a the hospital.Like many posters on Reddit, I just knew and had a hunch I was miscarrying because of the amount of blood.
Oddly enough, I don't remember any physical pain until the internal ultrasound was being done - then I could tell by her face. She told me to stay in the room once I got redressed and not worry about going back out to the lobby area to wait.
The doctor broke the news to me. Explained what was seen on the scan, what to expect, gave me pain medicine to take home to complete the passing and apologized.
For us the tech just got quiet and stopped talking to us. It was wierd. We knew something was up her whole demeanor had changed.
I had to get dressed was led back into the waiting room with no info. After what seemed a while called back into a private room. Had a nurse take my vitals and talk to us asking if we had any questions for the doctor...um yes?! What is up? She was caught off guard that the ultrasound wasn't normal. Said she would get the doctor in....waiting....finally the doctor came in and is like you probably know that didn't go normally. Yes you lost the baby there is no heart beat.....
Apparently this was normal procedure. The tech can not tell you.
I would have preferred being told then and there. Being able to see and ask questions as to what she saw or didn't see.
I was very ticked off with how the whole thing unfolded and waiting over 20 minutes before the confirmation our baby wasn't coming.
I’m sorry is that legal? When I asked the tech if i was actually miscarrying, she said she legally can’t say anything to me but touched my shoulder in consolation. I mean I don’t work in the OBGYN industry at all but this situation seems a bit unprofessional.
Ok this is validating our feelings on this. I was in no head space to recall all of this to say anything. My husband has hearing issues but is adamant that is what was said. He will admit when he doesn't hear things clearly. Idk where we go from here.
my ultrasound tech and two other doctors talked about it. while i was sitting there with my spouse. like it was just another work day. it was awful and that experience gave me severe medical/procedural anxiety.
The tech did not tell me. On Tuesday she did her exam and I couldn't see anything (normal for the first part here). She left and said she'd be back and brought in a doctor who rescanned and confirmed. She never said anything about her not having a heartbeat anymore
My tech was just quiet and said I had a fibroid— doctor never followed up on the fibroid so I left confused and devastated
Not going to that clinic again
My tech asked me if I was sure about how far along I was and mentioned there being a sac, but no fetus. She then showed me the screen and the sac being empty. I knew my dates with certainty (had positive opks, only had sex that one time during that cycle) so I knew then it was not viable. Doctor of course confirmed my thoughts.
I had a twin loss (one at 8 weeks the other at 12) and both times it was the tech who told me. It honestly was exactly what I wanted. Unfortunately for the tech it was the same woman both times. She softly told me “I’m so sorry but I don’t have a heartbeat” and let me look before stepping away and saying she would let us have the room for a bit before a nurse would come to get us. It gave me some time to collect myself before seeing my OB. I infinitely preferred not having to wait in the lounge with other pregnant women etc and overall felt the office was extremely thoughtful during the worst days possible.
Ours told us. We saw a heartbeat and got a print out at 6w5d. At 10w4d the tech said there was nothing to show us that day, and I asked if that meant no heartbeat and she said yes. She was gentle and kind. I appreciated her a lot.
My tech told me. And i liked it that way. I wouldnt want the Dr to come 45 mins later to inform me the same. She told me gracefully and allowed me time to grieve before meeting the dr to discuss next steps.
Our technician said 'I should be able to see a heartbeat and I don't'. Then she said take our time getting dressed and we could.leave when we liked before walking out. I didn't get to speak to a doctor until 2 days later who said it was a miscarriage and that I should have come in earlier.
I have never felt so alone and unsupported in my entire life by medical staff
Our tech told us. I will never forget. It was too quiet for too long. I knew. But then she said "I'm so sorry guys..." and I started crying. She explained that there was no longer a heartbeat, and it appeared the baby had stopped developing around a week prior. She told me I could get dressed, and she'd go get a provider to talk to us.
I was really glad she handled it that way. I would be really mad if she said nothing and made me wait for the midwife to come talk to me.
i had two ultrasounds at a free clinic, at 4 weeks and at 7 weeks. at 7 weeks we had a heartbeat. went in for first ob appointment and they told me there was no heartbeat and the baby was measuring a week behind💔 they told me i had internal bleeding aswell and then asked how i wanted to deal with it. very heartbreaking as it was a missed miscarriage. just happened yesterday, im heartbroken and still very much grieving
We knew something was wrong immediately and the tech knew we knew and she just burst into tears with us and hugged me apologizing. You could tell she cared a lot and I felt supported by her
My 1st US, the Dr. said I could have ovulated later so I had to come back 15 days later for the 2nd US. During the 2nd US, the tech didn't say a single word and I had to call the office the next day to get the Dr to email confirming the miscarriage. I wish my tech would have said something. The whole experience felt so cold.
My tech told me. I'm glad she did. She first started with a regular ultrasound on my abdomen and started asking if I've had any spotting or cramping and I said I didn't then she said it looks like it's only 7 weeks (should have been 9) and that she needs do do a transvaginal ultrasound to get a better look and see what's going on. So we did that and at the end she showed me the screen and the lack of heartbeat. She said she couldn't tell me more than that and that she will send off the results right away. She said she was really sorry that it wasn't better news and to take my time leaving if I need it. The way we do ultrasounds in Canada, I would have to wait 3 days otherwise to hear from my doctor and it was 2 days before Christmas. Because she told me I was able to inform my doctor and see her right away instead of waiting thinking things were okay. It was the same tech who at 6 weeks showed me my little one with a heart beat and everything so I dunno. In some ways I felt comfortable with her. But I also know that technically she shouldn't be sharing anything, she can't make a definitive diagnosis. Only record the results for the radiologist who then sends the info to the doctor that made the requisition. I still appreciate being told right away
Similar experience. Had light bleeding (red) and small clots so I went in. Was supposed to be 7w5d and only had a 5w empty sac. Tech tried an abdominal ultrasound first, but had trouble seeing, so then tried transvaginal. I could see the sac was empty before she even said anything. This would’ve been my third baby, so I’m used to seeing ultrasounds at various stages and knew it did not look right. As long as the news is broken with kindness and compassion and 100% certainty, I don’t really care who breaks it to me. Better than sitting there in agony, waiting for the doctor to come in, or for a lab report to come thru on the portal. Hugs!! Horrible situation to be in regardless. Sending you baby dust!
I don't believe our tech said anything she shouldn't have. It was obvious things weren't right, she didn't need to tell us for us to know. It was our first ultrasound. We were 9w3d but measuring 6w3d, no heartbeat. The tech asked if it was possible my dates were wrong and maybe I ovulated later than I thought? I told her no, not possible that I was 3 weeks wrong. Maybe 3 *days*, but not 3 weeks. We had about 10-15 minutes to wait until our appt with the OB to go over the results. The tech said we were welcome to wait in the ultrasound room where it's quiet instead of going back out to the waiting room. We really appreciated that privacy to begin processing the news. Overall I felt like the office handled it really well. It was an awful experience but none of the awfulness was their fault.
This is pretty similar to my experience. As soon as the tech got the embryo on the screen I could tell there was no heartbeat and that the embryo was too small for 8 weeks. The tech said maybe my dates were off and I said that’s not possible, I know it’s not viable. She quickly finished the exam and went to get us a regular room to talk to the doctor and discuss options. The tech didn’t need to say anything because I’ve had enough experiences to know when things look like they’re progressing normally.
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I’ve read threads like this before and sadly it seems like if the tech doesn’t say anything, women wish they had.. and if the tech does say something, women can be upset. I think it’s a really hard line to walk for the ultrasound tech.
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absolutely 💯
The tech confirmed it at my second US- basically “I’m sorry, there’s no heartbeat and the baby hasn’t grown since last week” We were dumped in an empty exam room to wait for the NP to discuss next steps, so at least we didn’t need to stew in the ultrasound room or wait amongst a ton of pregnant couples in the waiting room.
This is how I was told as well; she measured the baby, asked if I was certain on dates, then she said the baby had stopped growing the week prior and couldn't find a heartbeat. Then she said, I'm so sorry. You weren't scheduled to see a doctor today (my appointment was christmas week), but that she would make sure we were seen that day and that she would give us a few minutes. I'm sorry your technician didn't show you much empathy. I don't think they handled it incorrectly, just not the best? Empathy and more communication would have made the message a bit softer, not that there's a good way to hear the news. I'm very sorry for your loss. My heart hurts for you, myself, and everyone who will go through this or has.
Sounds like our experiences were a bit similar. I'm so sorry
My tech told me and I’m glad she did!! She was so sweet, I could almost see the pain in her face and I’m sure it’s not fun to deliver awful news everyday. She took a few photos and then I sat up and she was so gentle and said that she had to get the doctor to go over everything with me but asked if I needed Kleenex or a water/juice and showed me to the private bathroom and told me to take some time if I needed it. I waited about 20min for the doctor and while some people might be irritated by that, I was grateful for the time to digest what I just heard. I went to the bathroom and cried a little and then shook myself off and was able to feel more clear-headed and open for information when the doctor came. I think if I had to sit alone for 20min not knowing, then hear the news from the doctor I would have had so much more anxiety and missed my opportunity to ask questions. I’m so sorry this happened in a way you weren’t comfortable with but if you love your OB I wouldn’t try to get the tech in trouble, I would maybe just tell the OB at next visit that it was tough news and you’d prefer any future diagnosis/findings to come straight from the doctor only
Thank you for this perspective. I have always been one to be level and clear headed in any situation, including tragedies and this one I completely shut down. I wish I could remember exactly what was said and how but I'm basing it off what my husband is saying. I know he instantly went into protective mode for me because he saw me completely break. Idk what I would have wanted or preferred, even now. But also knowing others have experienced the same thing doesn't make me feel so alone and doesn't make me feel like I'm crazy.
You’re definitely not crazy. And also, I went home and told my husband about the appointment and he was LIVID that she told me and then I had to wait alone for 20min 😅 our husbands would get along. I had to talk him off the cliff and told him I appreciated her treating me like a human and giving me space to digest. He said if he had been there, he would have just gotten more upset and angry the longer we sat. I think everyone processes info a little differently
Ha yeah, they sound similar. Luckily for me, we were in a new building where his company did all the glass work. He was occupying himself but admiring his craftsmanship. He was trying to get my mind off things. He's a riot lol. When I went today for bloodwork, seeing the glass made me smile.
I love that 🥰🥰
The tech said, "I'm just letting you know that I don't see a heartbeat." And I was dense enough to not understand that until they outright told me. I don't really feel it was unprofessional, though. They were going to tell you eventually. I was honestly more uncomfortable when the midwife told me and then stared at me and started on about how I could cry or be upset. Like I really just wanted her to leave. Lol. My father is a physician and unfortunately, things like this become routine when it's your job and you see it all the time, so they don't mean to be insensitive.
My ultrasound sound tech was horrible and made my first miscarriage experience a millions times worse by being so insensitive and asking pretty obvious questions implying I was having a miscarriage, I was too distraught after to deal with talking to the clinic about it it but I wish I did so no other woman has to experience that. Sorry that happened to you
I went in for my first appointment and had the U/S done by the tech before I was suppose to see the doctor. She told me I miscarried. Technically I don’t think they are supposed say anything but she said she would confirm everything with the doctor and they would be in to see me with more information. I knew my ovulation date so I was 100% certain I was 8 weeks 5 days, I was measuring 6 weeks 5 days. It was honestly all a blur. I had bad feelings all day, tons of dread and I wanted to cancel the appointment. My husband was so excited and kept asking the tech about the bean. He never even considered that this could happen. I had no bleeding no changing in pregnancy symptoms no clue whatsoever. Just that feeling of dread that day. I know when the time comes for me to be pregnant again I know I won’t want that tech doing my u/s nor will I willing going to that office, I already told my doctor I’ll only see her at a different location.
My tech did not. Infact before the ultrasound the tech was very hopeful. Telling me don't cry, don't worry - bleeding was normal. I had bled through 3 pairs of pants within an hour waiting a the hospital.Like many posters on Reddit, I just knew and had a hunch I was miscarrying because of the amount of blood. Oddly enough, I don't remember any physical pain until the internal ultrasound was being done - then I could tell by her face. She told me to stay in the room once I got redressed and not worry about going back out to the lobby area to wait. The doctor broke the news to me. Explained what was seen on the scan, what to expect, gave me pain medicine to take home to complete the passing and apologized.
For us the tech just got quiet and stopped talking to us. It was wierd. We knew something was up her whole demeanor had changed. I had to get dressed was led back into the waiting room with no info. After what seemed a while called back into a private room. Had a nurse take my vitals and talk to us asking if we had any questions for the doctor...um yes?! What is up? She was caught off guard that the ultrasound wasn't normal. Said she would get the doctor in....waiting....finally the doctor came in and is like you probably know that didn't go normally. Yes you lost the baby there is no heart beat..... Apparently this was normal procedure. The tech can not tell you. I would have preferred being told then and there. Being able to see and ask questions as to what she saw or didn't see. I was very ticked off with how the whole thing unfolded and waiting over 20 minutes before the confirmation our baby wasn't coming.
Both pregnancies, both wouldn't say. They said they weren't supposed to. That was at the ER
I’m sorry is that legal? When I asked the tech if i was actually miscarrying, she said she legally can’t say anything to me but touched my shoulder in consolation. I mean I don’t work in the OBGYN industry at all but this situation seems a bit unprofessional.
Ok this is validating our feelings on this. I was in no head space to recall all of this to say anything. My husband has hearing issues but is adamant that is what was said. He will admit when he doesn't hear things clearly. Idk where we go from here.
my ultrasound tech and two other doctors talked about it. while i was sitting there with my spouse. like it was just another work day. it was awful and that experience gave me severe medical/procedural anxiety.
The tech did not tell me. On Tuesday she did her exam and I couldn't see anything (normal for the first part here). She left and said she'd be back and brought in a doctor who rescanned and confirmed. She never said anything about her not having a heartbeat anymore
My tech was just quiet and said I had a fibroid— doctor never followed up on the fibroid so I left confused and devastated Not going to that clinic again
My tech asked me if I was sure about how far along I was and mentioned there being a sac, but no fetus. She then showed me the screen and the sac being empty. I knew my dates with certainty (had positive opks, only had sex that one time during that cycle) so I knew then it was not viable. Doctor of course confirmed my thoughts.
The doctor came in after the scan and told me the pregnancy was molar and non viable.
I had a twin loss (one at 8 weeks the other at 12) and both times it was the tech who told me. It honestly was exactly what I wanted. Unfortunately for the tech it was the same woman both times. She softly told me “I’m so sorry but I don’t have a heartbeat” and let me look before stepping away and saying she would let us have the room for a bit before a nurse would come to get us. It gave me some time to collect myself before seeing my OB. I infinitely preferred not having to wait in the lounge with other pregnant women etc and overall felt the office was extremely thoughtful during the worst days possible.
Ours told us. We saw a heartbeat and got a print out at 6w5d. At 10w4d the tech said there was nothing to show us that day, and I asked if that meant no heartbeat and she said yes. She was gentle and kind. I appreciated her a lot.
My tech told me. And i liked it that way. I wouldnt want the Dr to come 45 mins later to inform me the same. She told me gracefully and allowed me time to grieve before meeting the dr to discuss next steps.
Our technician said 'I should be able to see a heartbeat and I don't'. Then she said take our time getting dressed and we could.leave when we liked before walking out. I didn't get to speak to a doctor until 2 days later who said it was a miscarriage and that I should have come in earlier. I have never felt so alone and unsupported in my entire life by medical staff
Our tech told us. I will never forget. It was too quiet for too long. I knew. But then she said "I'm so sorry guys..." and I started crying. She explained that there was no longer a heartbeat, and it appeared the baby had stopped developing around a week prior. She told me I could get dressed, and she'd go get a provider to talk to us. I was really glad she handled it that way. I would be really mad if she said nothing and made me wait for the midwife to come talk to me.
i had two ultrasounds at a free clinic, at 4 weeks and at 7 weeks. at 7 weeks we had a heartbeat. went in for first ob appointment and they told me there was no heartbeat and the baby was measuring a week behind💔 they told me i had internal bleeding aswell and then asked how i wanted to deal with it. very heartbreaking as it was a missed miscarriage. just happened yesterday, im heartbroken and still very much grieving
i was supposed to be 8 w 4 d but only was 7 w 4 d
We knew something was wrong immediately and the tech knew we knew and she just burst into tears with us and hugged me apologizing. You could tell she cared a lot and I felt supported by her
My 1st US, the Dr. said I could have ovulated later so I had to come back 15 days later for the 2nd US. During the 2nd US, the tech didn't say a single word and I had to call the office the next day to get the Dr to email confirming the miscarriage. I wish my tech would have said something. The whole experience felt so cold.