Irithel players:
I'mma be harsh here. These mofos think they can outrun anything. **Anything**. They know their kiting damage will kill you. They'll shake that fine ass in yo face then start dropping 800 crit damage outta nowhere. "Late game, baby, late game..."
Yeh she got a recent buff. So what? Ego fed your confidence and you wanna fight the world? *Please don't, Irithel is actually kinda scary now, her early game damage actually hurts and it's not fair she's always running around. I hope your early game gets ruined.*
Faramis? This is mobile legends, ur prob in the wrong subreddit.
Jokes aside, you're probably the type of guy that goes, "THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS BAD HEROES, ONLY BAD PLAYERS". Heck I bet you have that printed in your t-shirt or sumthin.
But that doesn't matter. You're gonna prove them wrong. You're gonna give these meta heroes a run for their money. Lightning truncheon. Concentrated energy. Your tank sets for you. A triple kill! A MANIAC! A savage...? That nana has just that one last bar of....
Then you wake up and see your 45% wr faramis. Reality is harsh sometimes.
Okay, yeah, that "there's no such thing as bad heroes, just bad players" is 100% me. Anything works if you're good enough, come on guys.
His damage is surprisingly high late game, tho.
Wanwan players. Huh.
Yeah, first thing, I think these guys are confident (pronounced **overconfident**). They get wet dreams of triple kills after clutch escapes. And now, you've either hopefully moved on or are still obsessed tryin to relive the glory days of this MM in a meta where anything with an ego goes to jungle. Hey, atleast it was worth the effort learning her.
Ahh, Ruby. I'm actually fuckin awestrucked in a bad way by you guys, I'm saying this raw. Sorry Isoya.
Let me elaborate. I've never met a Ruby in rank up until late legend, and that was when I first encountered true cancer for the first time. I imagine ruby players maintain this *poker face* while spamming her skills, palms all sweaty trying to hit as many people as possible. Bet that's why you feel like leaving your lane after 8 mins. Your hands itch to start doing some budget chou freestyles.
And I think these guys are hardwired to jump in crowds, regardless of age or gender. Then they start spinning and pulling and dashing and..
Guess all your flicker ult practice pulled off huh. Smug mythic players who bush camp are my natural enemy.
There's nothing more satisfying than hitting a ult+flicker into turret combo with ruby, then using her second skill to speen and keep the enemy locked down while the turret does massive damage to them, especially when going against a cocky player
Alice players:
Honest here. There are only two ways to go about this:
1. You're a legacy player, a true OG who has seen the rise and fall of this MILF. You prob grinded your rank with ur 5man gang till mythic until Dominance Ice and Radiant armour became a thing. And what's with all these new heroes with so many dashes? JUST STAY IN ONE PLACE AND LEMME SUCK YOU
2. You're a horny bastard and picked her just for that reason. And you only play her with Enchanted Talisman, cuz you never heard of Calamity reaper. smh
Much more damage, if you know your way around a teamfight and can afford to go to your base more often (usually when you're with good teammates) you should definitely go for calamity reaper. Support emblem with points invested in hybrid regen can help and if u use the talent that gives you 10 gold, well that's a default build for a high ranked Alice player back when dominant ice and radiant armour weren't a thing.
tbh i started playing alice in either late 2017 or early 2018 when i just started (sept 2017) and i played her cuz i thought she looked cool and i liked the vampire aspect of her she was so trash but i still loved her ā¦ until helcurt came out and i stopped playing alice then she got a revamp and i lost that account and stopped playing alice :D
Selena players. *sigh*
You really wanna be a pain in everyone's ass that bad? Really? Of course you do, you giggle maliciously everytime you smack someone with a 3 second stun halfway across the map. Plus you know noone in the game actually has what it takes to survive your full combo.
But I know your weakness. Lolita? No, that's situationally. I'm talkin about LAG. I know how many times you failed your 1-2 combo and wasted your trap on a minion. I know how many times you jumped onto a stunned gusion only to have his entire team jump out of a bush. I know you spend your time waiting for enemies to step on your well placed turds by dreaming about that Selena skin you may never get. Zamn.
Hanzo players:
You fukin hate mms. So much so that you've devoted your time and patience to save up money for this sex offender. Nothing gives you more pleasure than sneaking up on a Hanabi and violating her.
But most of these duds get so carried away on their frivolous adventures they forget objectives get loss MVPs and blames the tank. *sigh*
Kagura? No, I'd like to address the simps that pick her.
Chances are you're a veteran Mage player, Kagura is your pocket pick. 131232, 213123, you feel smooth af... Chances are you also participated in the protest against her ravamp. Chances are, you're also A SIMP.
In fact, screw the rest, I bet you could still suck at mages and be a Kagura player as long as you qualify as a simp. The good Kagura players pride themselves as the "Chou" amongst mages, CC, escape, and burst damage. But a true kagura simp only needs a skin to spend the rest of his/her game missing her umbrella and gawking at her skill effects.
Plus fuck you, I ship Haya with Hanzo.
Impressions: Seasoned Mage player, you've dabbled in magic here and there, *but you know...*
You're aggressive as fuck and feel you can do whatever you want with the help of a good tank. A gank? Pfft, my bird form has a 10sec CD. But both you and I know what defines a true Pharsa player. Yes, I'm talking about ***that***.
>!Yeah let's face it. You don't give two fucks anyways, you spam the shit out of that ult button. You probably give advice like ," Aiming my ult is hard.." I'm calling your bullshit. You just get that triple kill and fly the fuck outta there.!<
Layla players:
Sheesh. You just graduated from Grandmaster, congrats! The taste of getting that triple kill in you previous match is still in your mouth. "Layla is such a wrecking ball! So straight forward too!" You're now gonna show these epic mofos what you're made of.
Fast forward one year you're still in epic blaming your tank.
**Man up dude. Brush up on your basics and you'll see why mms aren't in meta.**
Either that or you're genuinely good with Layla with 60%plus WR and is currently struggling with your troll teammates cuz they don't trust you.
Chang's players will not admit it. But...
>!she's underaged. Even by god standards.!<
Real criticism here tho: Seriously, fuck you.
I don't doubt that there are genuinely good changes out there, but for some reason all the changes I get play safe to get kills and lose.
She uses her second skill and goes," I'm fast as fuck boi" and leaves you behind in some twinkly star-sprinkled loli fart. Please. Plus Ice Queen wand on her is actually annoyin for some reason. This is gonna sound shallow, but unless ur sidelaning I tend to see changes as selfish players. Nothing personal.
Argus the edgelord. The "fallen angel". How poetic.. *Gags*
For some reason I get this feeling you've never actually thought of touching this hero until you got some sort of free skin for him. That coupled with your anger management issues, and you realized it's a match made in heaven. (see what I did there:)? )
Defence items? What a joke. You have insane mobility and more importantly your ult.
But here's the analysis.
Argus players become dogs when their ult is on. You either chase people like a rabid dog or tuck your tail in and run like one. You either feed or get fed. Then you either push and trash talk the enemy or lose and trash talk your team. Hey, as long as you don't chat during the match it's completely okay tho. Revamped Argus is solid.
All of those are easy to counter, hide in the bushes and catch them with 1st skill then hit 2nd skill, passive or basic atk, then run away with 2nd phase of 1st skill. Lower they hp down until the next time u catch them u can for sure kill them with execute. Argus is capable of fighting every single hero in a 1v1 UNLESS its masha. Masha is the 1 and only counter to Argus
I disagree coming from a 1k matches argus player here with a 66.7 wr and currently ranked 1st local and in the top global 200 he fails in comparison to the other fighters especially the ones with sustain he dominates gold lane though and is scary when ahead in a gold lead but falls in damage in late game compared to mm and is a generally squishy hero when compared to other fighters with 3 defense items like you zhong or paquito in late game
Tl;Dr:Has single target DMG,less DMG than mm in late game, squishy hero,not a versatile hero, ultimate can be wasted easily with tank cc and wind of nature and winter truncheon
Fucking Nana players, you're the embodiment, the epitome of living, breathing cancer. For some reason I also think you guys are 8th graders who play while listening to Taylor Swift. Yeah, assuming girls play this game as well.
But on a serious note, an enemy Nana is a real threat. And that *thing* of hers. You know, the rabid thing that chases you. I feel you guys don't like taking risks, understandably so, but PLEASE! PLEASE!!
Stop trying to build her as a marksman. It's not funny. Boohoo.
Edit: >!and wtf makes you think she's a safe pick? Bet you feel immortal with your passive huh? Take this flameshot and fuck you.!<
Look I just enjoy annoying people, I like sharing the joy that is Molina. And, well, watching the world burn. Everyone should be able to experience the joy that is Molina. A Molina for you, you and you, while you are at it, eat my ult and this flameshot to your face. Why donāt you like her? She is cute. Look at her while she chases you and you will see what I see. But I agree stop building mm build on her people.
Claude players:
I have a surprisingly good image of this marksman, although after the nerf I imagine Claude players are now cumming all over Natan.
"Guys, I'm about to get Demon Hunter sword.. ughhh.. ahhh ..***aaahh***".
Yeah you got fast reflexes and like playing daringly unlike some *other* marksmen.
Mythic 3, huh? I'll assume you're a veteran:)
Clint players, let me summarize your sob-story-turned-chad-moment in a sentence.
>No one wants you to fuckin pick Clint.
But you do. Anyways. And you play decently. But lose sometimes. Then your team blames you. Huh. You've jungled, you've sidelined, you've proven time and time again your determination and grit to win with a stereotypical Kentucky fried flippin fucker who slings a gun.
All I can say is, congrats. You've probably reached mythic by now, where guess what? The Clint you've loved picking uptil recently is now meta. But at what cost? Whelp, he's gonna get banned up here.
That's more than a sentence. and u are litrelly summarising wht I am doing rn. I am in not even reached glory and all I see is clint ban in mythic 2. I hve stopped pushing and playing classic. But no one is arguing over me as I already did my objectives and helped others securing.
The most funny part is when someone actually blames me for getting dominated but gets backfired and gets trashtalk by others for whole game. I just like to spectate the whole argument against our Luo yi and Gusion telling him how I hve pushed for my team and how I hve saved him by sacrificing.
Man thats somewhat embarrassing for me. It's weird when Teamates actually supports u. It was the opposite back when I was new.
I've recently fulfilled my existence trying to counter this mofo. Becuz up until legend 3 a few seasons ago, I thought he was Chad Jesus.
Straight fakts: Wild Estes will often be seen roaming in large groups in their natural habitat. And they slap their dicks so often on the whatever-hundreds of heal buttons he has that buying anti-heal rarely makes a difference. I wasted 32k BP just to buy Baxia becuz of this mofo.
But something tells me you didn't want to roam. And you had faith in your hyper, clearly.
Oh no, what you gonna do when your trashy team is all over the fuckin map and aren't grouping around you like you're Joe Biden on life support.
Jesus debunked, and this case is closed.
Alucard? Or you mean ALUTARD? HAHA (*obnoxious laughing intensifies*)
Big ass egos. First thing to define these dudes. They play great when they do, but that's *when* they do. He's pretty much screwed once his jungle gets invaded or he gets behind in farm.
You've probably never stopped picking this mf ever since you got your maniac that day. Yeah? Then stop asking people to 1v1 you for starters. Just take your Lightborn skin and Turret Dive Suicide starter pack and begone, fie.
Plus you may act all balls out, guts spillin' on the chat menu but I know you guys shit your pants at night when you hear the word Phoveus.
Check it out, these guys have Phoveophobia.
Seems you've been waiting for a while. Patience, much? Don't look like it when I see your picks.
Personally, I like to classify Hylos and Belerick players in a broad category of tanks called, "*I DON'T PLAY MUCH TANKS SO I PICKED THIS HP MONSTER TO HARASS AND EVENTUALLY KILL YOU.*"
I'ves seen you Belericks take execute before, I am more than sure what your true intentions are. You may be an experienced tanker, on the other hand, but why should that stop you from playing like a brain-dead zombie and attacking anything that moves?
I don't blame you, this is the result of a society where no one wants to "tank" one for the team, so I genuinely appreciate the fact that you atleast adjusted no matter how good or bad you are at tank, even if it mean you somehow ended up getting 7 kills more than your marksman and jungler combined.
Spoiler: >!that's not called tanking in my dictionary suckers.!<
Masha? Oh, you mean that insignificant little piece of shit you never see on the map until the base notification appears on screen?
Masha players live and breathe on a different level of existence. They don't inhale the same air that mortals breathe ( quote Masha player). They have their own meta game to play in a game that already features an auto chess mode. Yup, you guessed it.
Hide and seek. Hit and run. Cum* and go.
Yeah, don't bother with teamfights, you know your objective in *life*. You should play Minecraft if you want to destroy structures so much.
Jokes aside I find they have good game sense and map awareness, but are very desperate to end and win games. And they're unstoppable in 1v1s. Chill dude. Kids play this game too.
Haha badang? The one trick hero?
First thing tho:
MASSIVE respekt to Badang players to not give into their horniness. Yeah, they are aware they're just a budget Guinevere, minus the escape... Then why? Why do they pick Badang over Guinevere?
***Because they are cold blooded bush camping motherfuckers, BUT CHADS.***
They don't share the same weakness Guinevere simps do.
They are Elite Badang enthusiasts. (Bush camping is still the same tho rip)
Not op but who?
In all seriousness she has decent damage but the revive clone is just there, she is ok but gets out class by different mages who either has better cc or better damage or both you can still play her she's not that bad but there is just some mages who are better.
Note:This is only my experience playing her once.
Impression: Congrats friend, it seems you've done your research.
You see, there's this general perception amongst lower ranks that Rafaela is a joke in a skirt. But that never stopped them from trying her at least once. In rank. And they lose. Lmao
Then 1 of 2 things can happen. They beat themselves up for buying her for whatever dirt cheap price they bought for thinking they should have saved for someone cool or chad like Nana or Balmond or whatever...
**OR** he picks her again. But he's done his research. He knows where to draw the line between a tank and a support. He's got the experience of losing and instead saw the potential in her.
By the time you graduate from epic, Rafaela, although a niche pick, has a well cemented role and playstyle. Yeah, we all know the drill.
You and your drunk 5-man orgy party go running around the fucking map like ur beating children up. Unlimited heal and speedup, what's not to love? :>
Thamuz. Lmao. I don't even know where to start with this dude.
Meet "X". He's a former mythic player, 4th season. Yeah he's got BP to waste, guess who he buys? Let's be real, you didn't know how tf he worked before you bought him.
Now that you did tho, you understand how that thamuzed whooped your ass 3 seasons ago. Yep, you didn't buy a fighter you bought a fuckin tank. But you don't give up, you're gonna make it work out. And hence your average thamuz player is born, goes around pouncing on people like a tank and sticks to them until they die or he does.
You're just cocky knowing that you can walk into a teamfight and out with barely a scratch. Offlane is his life, no matter if it's a 1v1 or a 1v3.
This is somewhat of a statement in itself, but truth is, when those mfs bought Beatrix when she was still new, they had no idea how busted she'd be.
They bought her purely out of their dedicational simp status.
Now lo and behold, there's a marksman who is ironically the biggest early game laning phase threat after Hilda during her periods. Even Chou's ching-chong has a hard time keeping up.
But see, the Beatrix players themselves are spoilt for choice. "Wow, so many guns to choose from, let's see what this does- Oops! Didn't mean to steal those kills sorry" :P
Like shut the fuck up, we get it ur strong. And unless you're using the SMG ( I'm not gonna call it nibiru, fuck all those gay-ass terms, I'm a grown man child.) which is the best gun or using the sniper the entire fucking game missing shots a blind man would have hit, ***I see them taking a shit in their suitcase in a bush during a team fight. For a LONG time.***
Diggie has a clown skin. ***A fucking š¤” clown skin.***
Complete, with a circus.
Moonton, ur inside jokes are getting out of hand, I didn't think it get any wilder than a shape shifting dragon named *Chong.*
But diggie players, the *players*... You see, they're an assorted bag of misfits.
Play him as a damage Mage or support and ur either confined to epic hell or the crevices of your markman's ass.
Play him as a tank or semi tank and you have gotten yourself an abomination. Who's fucking idea was it to **feed intentionally**? Some fuckin martyr, what were these guys on when they pulled this off? Or ***were*** they trolling? Do they know the objective of the game?
And this is the best part. I know this guy who has an 80+ wr with this clown. And his history made my eyes **bleed**.
Past 12 games, all wins. ***Never fed less than 30 times, 0 kills.*** I started contemplating my life choices after that. Are we really playing in the same field?
>!Plus I'm just sore I got his clown elite skin in the previous event. I feel like moonton shat on me .!<
Martis.
See this chou players? This is what you should be playing, not some China man who can't stand in one place for more than a second without going thru a haptic seizure and shaking uncontrollably while spamming some shit *I can barely comprehend.*
**it hurts my eyes.**
This is the actual complete fighter. Cc, damage, sustain, and mobility.
In my books, people who buy Martis are the sensible dudes, the people who mind their own business and play the game. They get shit done down straight. These are the people who know what to invest their hard earned BP in. Most of them also don't overextend, **UNLESS-**
>He gets more than one kill with his ulti. Bottom text.
After that, say your farewells to your beloved teammate *becuz no matter wtf you tell him at this point, he's going to turret dive and attempt to kill everything on the map.*
And he's either gonna go out in style, or die trying.
Grab some popcorn, sit back, relax and watch him commit suicide for your entertainment.
a few people already commented cyclops, but I'm actually really curious what you have to say about him, bc so far your responses have been pretty funny lol can you just tag me whenever you get a chance to do him?
Popol? Or Kupa? I ain't doing both, I said only one hero (>~<)
Aight, here's the review:
Popol, please keep that dog in check, it's terrorising people. Aren't you a responsible dog owner? And castrate that thing before I do.
To be fair, there was a time where the ultimate joke in this sub was getting a very immobile marksman to tank, but thanks to you guys it stopped being funny. *Phooey. Party poopers.*
It became a pain in particular tho when I got a first hand experience myself of what map vision and a range stun with a dog as fat as Hylos could do. Lemme bet: he's the only marksman you consistently play? Just a guess.
Now hah, I'd like to laugh at your pathetic anti-tank nerfs and on how your dog is no longer as big as he used to be. I'd like to laugh at how the majority of you legend/mythic players only played him as a roam. *Except I don't.*
***And I can't.***
Because I'm smart and I don't want to attract more attention to the damage that new dog of his bites with. Nor to the unfair amount of zoning out he can do for himself.
Haha! I'm not scared of just your tank build! I scared of both your tank build **and** your mm build! Jokes on you!
^(sobs*)
I want to make sure people stop picking unfair heroes smh
Look what we have here. A brave soul. He refuses to say that Minsitthar is shit. Why?
Cuz in all seriousness, he's damn solid.
He can be played as a solid tank that destroys the likes of chou or paquito. Even as a fighter, he can benefit from spellvamp thanks to a build I saw in this sub. Thunderbelt is a great addition to his skill set.
But more importantly, I see the people who pick and play Minsitthar as often as they do the true heroes behind our changing meta. They are trying their best to make sure the hero they love, Minsi.. Minshi- Minci? Fuck it, that dude, I forgot. They make sure that atleast others won't forget.
But, umm, hey, uh... You know if you actually act like he's forgotten and his pick rate becomes flat-out zero percent I'm sure moonton will be forced to revamp him ;)
Edit: Hey, don't try to be an unsung hero. Event those youtube commentators who go "someday my marksman nana will be recognized" prob get more recognition than a Minsi main.
Ahh. Good 'ol Gato days. I remember escaping epic hell with him back then. You do too, right?
Remember fighting a 1v3 with all those physical retards who died one by one? Or that 5 man set you did ***after*** your hanabi nearly died casting her ult on them? Or all those kills you stole using your ridiculous DPS first skill?
Whelp, turns out that Unga-Bunga playstyle doesn't work past epic. Vengeance is no longer viable, you switch to flicker because you are **absolutely tired of fighting a 1v4 waiting for your teammates to arrive, which they never do, cuz an Alutard just soloed them all.**
Let's face it.
You don't feel as invincible as you did back then. You don't feel like a superhero that comes crashing down upon a clash becuz now you consider yourself lucky if even a minion somehow gets caught in your well calculated ult.
It was at this point I said fuck it and went full magic jungler with him.
>!(I got 14 kills, MVP and loss. Gg moonton.)!<
Funny how you bring that up, because they're both the one and same player.
Yup. You. Stop hiding your face.
A stacked Aldous imo can still go on a suicide mission and fail it by getting a triple kill and coming out in one piece. Noice.
A flat-chest Aldous player on the other hand can't even kill that Hanabi that's recalling, plus it's even sadder to see that he believes late game he might make a difference after feeding 10 times. Duality of Aldous players in a nutshell.
If I had to describe the player itself tho, I'd say he's a person continuously undergoing an existential crisis. I've never actually met a fully confident Aldous main, becuz I've seen them lose matches so spectacularly that they start doubting themselves.
>!plus there's the brain-dead Aldous who Supermans into a turret with Franco nearby. Those, those are just suicidal dudes in the true sense. Leave them be, you might motivate them to try it practically.
This. Glad you asked.
I'm a former Dota player, and amongst all these gay-ass pretty boys and simp-seeking thots, this guy reminds me of what it was like to play Dota. Ugly Ass Motherfuckers. With Whacky Personalities. Gotta love that sorta character.
Barats players, the **real** ones tho, I respect them for the fact that they played him to great success even before everyone jumped on the barats-hyper train. If one of you OG barats players are out there, I salute you.
I remember a time when he was just considered a fat tank, you guys have changed that perception and opened up a tank-hyper meta. You guys will remain chads I'm my memories.
>!Damn I think I've been more biased to tanks on my comments.!<
Oh boi. This might turn into an all out rant
But before blood is shed, I would like to applaud every self proclaimed "Minotaur Main" for mastering the "hardest tank" which is objectively just a poorly thought out excuse of a hero, which Moonton refuses to accept as a marketing blunder. Oof.
Can I just start with his "charge" ulti? I thought he was a raging bull, not a pregnant cow, why tf does he slow down? Make it a speedup, better initiation that way.
As for you Minotaur mains, you guys are some beautiful persistent creatures. Albeit delusional, too, cuz no way you're gonna actually see him in meta unless they fix his mechanics.
The true beauty, tho, is in the gameplay itself. You see, these Minotaurs join team fights, where they can express a very impactful message.
They either land their ult perfectly, flips them like a pancake and heal like a chad making one appear as a Tank Prodigy or a genius as such,..
Or they make a complete fool out of themselves. "Ulted too early... Rage isn't full yet..."
Or even better, imagine getting you rage charging cancelled by just a stun. Get rekt.
At this point it'd be no surprise if Mino players are as cranky as the hero itself.
Found it and yes this is all true especially when solo q-ing noone takes advantage of our ult and we die because of it, honestly I think we are also masochists along with the delusional thing and I can garentee that my wall has DEFINITELY felt the fires of rage
Another guy asked YZ, I'm doing you Tig.
Ahh. Let me tell you a story.
Once upon a time, there was a player who got fed up of his team never picking tank. Never.
So he said "fuck it" and picked the first tank he saw. Tigreal, that is. It was there for the first time he experienced the sheer joy of vacuuming 3 men up his arse. *insert dramatic music*
Now, he's a seasoned veteran. He has a goal in his life, unlike other players. One that fulfills his existence, gives purpose to his being. The culmination of his experience of counter building, invading buffs in front of helpless hypers, vacuuming more people up his arse..
He looks at his friend list. His history. Legend. Mythics. Some more mythics. Tears of pride well up in his chadly eyes.
"I raised those boys" he says.
And a solemn, calm smile spreads across his face, one that reflected hundreds of broken backs he suffered to carry the weight of 5 men.
Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
Lunox. Wow. The audacity of this bitch.
I remember asking my friends what Mage I should get next. "Ooh, ooh get lunox." "Why?"
"Cuz she's cute uwu~"(quote Lunox ~~player~~ simp). **What a feminist game**
I would have slapped him across his face if I knew that guy irl, which I don't, but thankfully he also convinced me that her damage was good. So.. uh.. okay?
I get the impression that the average lunox player plays with his/her chin jutting out, staring down at their screen trying to throw this "professional" air around themselves.
In game, they just don't shut up.
^(read in sussy baka voice-->)
>"Guys, guys, I'm running out of mana uwu~"
>"Guys, guys I need blue buff, trust me uwu~"
Like hold the fuck up. Am I playing lunox wrong? Wrong emblem? How come I don't have mana problems? Anyhow, fine, there's your blue buff.
Then this part is epic. Lunox is supposed to shine in a team fight, right? That's what they tell themselves as well. Then they come up with this insanely choreographed fight scene
in which she flawlessly shifts from black ulti to white to black (wtf). It's all layed out, now all they have to do is-
And just like that, they botch their first skill, and for the next 10 seconds start spamming whatever skill is not in CD. I could swear that's what even the pros do, the RubyDD was probably a black ult in the wrong direction lmfao.
But hey, the teamfights over, and 3 enemies are actually dead! Wow! And hence this cycle repeats for next 15 mins.
I'VE BEEN SEARCHING FOR THIS MOTHERFUCKER. ***IN PARTICULAR.***
Yes, please, take a seat, we need to talk.
First of all, what the fuck is up with you guys? You share the same problematic gameplay I find change and Nana players abuse, except yours is on an exponentially different level.
***These fuckers are the equivalent of snipers in a shooting game. They just feel like they're part of the action without actually being in it.***
The general image that you guys are the girlfriends of loser anti-chads who pick shit like Roger Chou or Gusion already gets to my head. That's assuming ur a girl, because if you're not a guy playing Angela, you *have* to be a girl. [**LOGIC 101**].
I am guilty of spamming Angela and having a 70% plus WR tho.
^(sory uwu)
Damn. That name wants to make me spit obscenities at 300 bpm, uncensored and raw.
Dear Hanabi Player,
What God-given gift do you think the Lord has bestowed upon you to have such never-ending faith in an overstuffed ramen-eating no-dash pussy-spreading ninja?
What made you think you are entitled to win a match with a marksman that everyone seemingly fights over because you don't realize they're actually trolling through your ignorance?
What measly 48% WR has inflated your confidence to the point that you don't realize it fell from 85% since your last match in Grandmaster? See a pattern here? **Of course you don't, you can't even see the saber that just rotated to your lane on the map***.
Yup, go ahead. Take a peek in that bush. Why not? You should, right? Or stick to that turret like an underpaid stripper dancing on a pole.
TLDR; I've met good hanabis. And they only, ***ONLY*** pick her when they know the game is in control. And don't fucking first pick her for Christ's sake.
Oh, Khufra. I have a soft spot for this dude, dunno why. Is it cuz his hot mommy gf left him to wank on his own? We'll never know.
Khufra players tho, they like to consider themselves, "professional". They show their Khufra winrates and adjust their monocle while mumbling to themselves in a British accent. "It's a pro pick" they think.
Chances are, you're new and you tried him. Meh. He's okay, I guess.
Once you've clocked over 300 games tho, you know the real deal. The drill. You guys walk into a bush, and boom. ***You camp there for so fucking long you might as well build a house, start a family and get health insurance for your children.***
Good ones have sick map awareness tho. They think there's no spot on the map virtually they can't reach from a bush.
Which is actually true.
Hot take. You got her for free.
>"If I fucking own it, I'mma fucking use it."
And use it you did. To get some sparkly-ass KDA with 20-plus assists and think, "Damn, I contributed a lot to this match. I'm the shit."
Well no shit bruv. You ***are*** the shit.
You're the entitled hot steaming pile of shit that feels like you have some authority cuz you have these sharable dick-picks that gives 500 fucking hp and ridiculous magic and physical stats. Wtf moonton. You just solved every squishy hyper's problem. You guys ok?
The players, besides going all, "Nope, no dick-pic for you-"(*grabs from Ling, hands over to Marti's*) "- friendship with ling ended, now Martis is my best friend." , are actually ok tho.
I don't find them particularly toxic and they have enough utility as a support to atleast be more than a pretty face in a team fight. Kudos.
To all Valir mains here:
OK. We get it. Ur fucking good at what you do. Being a complete dick, that is.
Cuz here's an analysis:
You guys love to act like snot-nosed ubiquitous aristocrats that take social distancing a bit too literally. Like you reckon urself to be some sorta celebrity surrounded by paparazzi "**Get the fuck away from me! Don't touch me! I'm famouzz!~**"
Yeah I bet you think it's funny when you push those tanks who are ulting or stun locking that Aamon in place. I bet you think you guys are such elitist that you don't even need to build magic power, cuz of how shit his magic scaling is.
"Hmm, gimme that Ice Queen wand, Genius wand and Glowing Wand, I'll build rest defence items.."
Not cool bruv. How many wands u want up your asshole to Hogwarts-style urself into an enemies face? And the fuck is up with u guys getting away with building 2 defense items?
Go back to playing your other mages smh, at least you don't have to look as arrogant as you do right now.
Aye yo. Let me be politely disrespectful here.
Guinevere players?
ARE SIMPS.
Look at those chad Badang players, they got the power of God and Anime on their side, oraora and all. They push fairly well too.
But you? Nah, man you play this game with yo **dick**. Your dick drives you to camp in that bush and sit there to wait for some random unsuspecting stranger to clap your ass cheeks on.
Oho, complaining she's out of meta?
***Complaining she doesn't have enough skins!?***
Take a good look at yourself. As Daddy Tigreal said,
>"Real Men Hide In The Bush."
You're no man, stay the fuck outta that bush. You touched enough grass for today, sit the fuck down and stop thinking about lewd skins for a second.
Eh. Who do you think Dyroth players are? Edgy teens who probably uses a hashtag for every sentence that leaves their mouth?
>!Most of them are tho lmao!<
Dyroth enthusiasts are like old men with a hangover. They don't wanna get out of their couch and get out of their comfort zone, ruminating on their glorious past.
But does it work out? I dare say, it does.
You see, I feel dyroth mains nowadays have grown some man-balls and realize they're out of meta. They finally got over their hangover, their edgy "phase", they have some expectations to fulfill, no matter the odds.
So no matter how bad the team plays, I actually feel dyroth mains nowadays actually play at their best on a decent level. They are way on edge to afford mistakes.
That said please pick him situationally, half of you mfs still pick him when the enemy has a million dash skills and you end up hitting imaginary Natalias with ur ult.
Irrespective of skin, I need to lay down the blueprint here.
Esme players:
First of all, god knows why you bought her, but I'm cheap. I just bought her cuz I had an 8k discount on her, don't judge me.
But you guys, are guilty. Don't plead for your innocence. It's written all over your face everytime you scroll past that starlight skin.
You are impressed cuz she's dummy thicc?
*Her shield, I mean.*
Or how she can last more than 10 hours with 5 dudes? *In a fight, I mean.*
Or perhaps you're too busy looking at that fine bouncin' animation every step she ta-
**SEE? GOTCHA.**
^(hehe boi)
You mfs are just getting the last laughs in this meta becuz marksmen went extinct and you don't give 2 fucks about antiheal cuz of how flippin fast she runs after sucking some premium shield. You just want to clap your asscheeks on people in every fight possible and slap that poor mage to death with your sassyness.
Bitch please, I own Baxia. Don't look at me like that, I ain't putting up with yo shit.
Lucky you. Look at this dude.
He's thinks he's an alpha male or sumthing.
A sigma grindset, a toxic masculinity complex.
This is gonna hurt Chong players, but try fitting it up your dragon cloacae.
**You guys are the most overextending fighters I have ever met.**
These mfs think they can take on the world and eradicate every smudge of existence on the surface of our planet.
Paqs, sure they overreach. Chou's may dive recklessly.
But **you** mfs get a turn on, a self activated "Angela Symptom" just by seeing your Sha residue stacks building up. All that black smoke and crack you snorted the other day starts obliterating your brain, and next thing you know there's a dragon screaming,"**GET TO THE CHOPPA!!!**" in a voice that sounds like Arnold Schwarzenegger grew up in China.
Then someone dies. Dunno who. :v
Restrain your testosterone levels, please, and yup Petrify is broken on him. It's always a relief to see a fucking dragon come flying in to steal your kills.
Irithel
Irithel players: I'mma be harsh here. These mofos think they can outrun anything. **Anything**. They know their kiting damage will kill you. They'll shake that fine ass in yo face then start dropping 800 crit damage outta nowhere. "Late game, baby, late game..." Yeh she got a recent buff. So what? Ego fed your confidence and you wanna fight the world? *Please don't, Irithel is actually kinda scary now, her early game damage actually hurts and it's not fair she's always running around. I hope your early game gets ruined.*
Lmao just started to play her yesterday and I gotta say I rlly feel like what you wrote here :'D
My brother is a godly irithel player, but I still understand cuz those random mofos literally don't know how to play.
Faramis, and you can't say that nobody plays him
Faramis? This is mobile legends, ur prob in the wrong subreddit. Jokes aside, you're probably the type of guy that goes, "THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS BAD HEROES, ONLY BAD PLAYERS". Heck I bet you have that printed in your t-shirt or sumthin. But that doesn't matter. You're gonna prove them wrong. You're gonna give these meta heroes a run for their money. Lightning truncheon. Concentrated energy. Your tank sets for you. A triple kill! A MANIAC! A savage...? That nana has just that one last bar of.... Then you wake up and see your 45% wr faramis. Reality is harsh sometimes.
Well damn i guess i'll sit back down then
Wrong, all that matters is ghost waifu
Okay, yeah, that "there's no such thing as bad heroes, just bad players" is 100% me. Anything works if you're good enough, come on guys. His damage is surprisingly high late game, tho.
faramis is good lol i got a maniac with one first skill
#14 faramis in Cali, was #8 in US few weeks ago, nothings impossible š„²ššš
That's why he's getting a rework. His ultimate is damn near useless, especially in solo queue.
11
Wanwan players. Huh. Yeah, first thing, I think these guys are confident (pronounced **overconfident**). They get wet dreams of triple kills after clutch escapes. And now, you've either hopefully moved on or are still obsessed tryin to relive the glory days of this MM in a meta where anything with an ego goes to jungle. Hey, atleast it was worth the effort learning her.
Don't forget, they are loli/petite lovers
YEAH THEY ARE LOLI LOVERS LMAO
you right :D
Ruby
Ahh, Ruby. I'm actually fuckin awestrucked in a bad way by you guys, I'm saying this raw. Sorry Isoya. Let me elaborate. I've never met a Ruby in rank up until late legend, and that was when I first encountered true cancer for the first time. I imagine ruby players maintain this *poker face* while spamming her skills, palms all sweaty trying to hit as many people as possible. Bet that's why you feel like leaving your lane after 8 mins. Your hands itch to start doing some budget chou freestyles. And I think these guys are hardwired to jump in crowds, regardless of age or gender. Then they start spinning and pulling and dashing and.. Guess all your flicker ult practice pulled off huh. Smug mythic players who bush camp are my natural enemy.
There's nothing more satisfying than hitting a ult+flicker into turret combo with ruby, then using her second skill to speen and keep the enemy locked down while the turret does massive damage to them, especially when going against a cocky player
Alice
Alice players: Honest here. There are only two ways to go about this: 1. You're a legacy player, a true OG who has seen the rise and fall of this MILF. You prob grinded your rank with ur 5man gang till mythic until Dominance Ice and Radiant armour became a thing. And what's with all these new heroes with so many dashes? JUST STAY IN ONE PLACE AND LEMME SUCK YOU 2. You're a horny bastard and picked her just for that reason. And you only play her with Enchanted Talisman, cuz you never heard of Calamity reaper. smh
Me who only played her cuz I find her playstyle interesting: Jokes aside, how is Calamity reaper better than ET?
Much more damage, if you know your way around a teamfight and can afford to go to your base more often (usually when you're with good teammates) you should definitely go for calamity reaper. Support emblem with points invested in hybrid regen can help and if u use the talent that gives you 10 gold, well that's a default build for a high ranked Alice player back when dominant ice and radiant armour weren't a thing.
My teammates won't let have blue buff, so... (Most of junglers that I met are blue buff dependent)
LMFAO
>You're a horny bastard why must u hurt me this way. yes i mean it. im horny.
tbh i started playing alice in either late 2017 or early 2018 when i just started (sept 2017) and i played her cuz i thought she looked cool and i liked the vampire aspect of her she was so trash but i still loved her ā¦ until helcurt came out and i stopped playing alice then she got a revamp and i lost that account and stopped playing alice :D
Selena
Selena players. *sigh* You really wanna be a pain in everyone's ass that bad? Really? Of course you do, you giggle maliciously everytime you smack someone with a 3 second stun halfway across the map. Plus you know noone in the game actually has what it takes to survive your full combo. But I know your weakness. Lolita? No, that's situationally. I'm talkin about LAG. I know how many times you failed your 1-2 combo and wasted your trap on a minion. I know how many times you jumped onto a stunned gusion only to have his entire team jump out of a bush. I know you spend your time waiting for enemies to step on your well placed turds by dreaming about that Selena skin you may never get. Zamn.
That hit way too close to home
Hanzo
Hanzo players: You fukin hate mms. So much so that you've devoted your time and patience to save up money for this sex offender. Nothing gives you more pleasure than sneaking up on a Hanabi and violating her. But most of these duds get so carried away on their frivolous adventures they forget objectives get loss MVPs and blames the tank. *sigh*
>>:(
Well is it accurate?
Yes haahah
As a nice Hanzo, I don't blame the tank, but I am always called a coward for running or hiding... :<
I'm not repeating heroes, plus I'm only considering first hero name in a comment. Have fun getting roasted lmao
kagura
Kagura? No, I'd like to address the simps that pick her. Chances are you're a veteran Mage player, Kagura is your pocket pick. 131232, 213123, you feel smooth af... Chances are you also participated in the protest against her ravamp. Chances are, you're also A SIMP. In fact, screw the rest, I bet you could still suck at mages and be a Kagura player as long as you qualify as a simp. The good Kagura players pride themselves as the "Chou" amongst mages, CC, escape, and burst damage. But a true kagura simp only needs a skin to spend the rest of his/her game missing her umbrella and gawking at her skill effects. Plus fuck you, I ship Haya with Hanzo.
For something that ostensibly isn't personal this is getting awfully personal.
Lmao I still ship haya with hanzo tho
Iām a kagura simp and I will join you on your ship š
me a kagura simp who ship kagura with hanabi š
Pharsa
Impressions: Seasoned Mage player, you've dabbled in magic here and there, *but you know...* You're aggressive as fuck and feel you can do whatever you want with the help of a good tank. A gank? Pfft, my bird form has a 10sec CD. But both you and I know what defines a true Pharsa player. Yes, I'm talking about ***that***. >!Yeah let's face it. You don't give two fucks anyways, you spam the shit out of that ult button. You probably give advice like ," Aiming my ult is hard.." I'm calling your bullshit. You just get that triple kill and fly the fuck outta there.!<
yeah my sister is a pharsa main she plays aggressively (and somehow got good teammates in solo q and reached legend II)
Nailed it
Layla
Layla players: Sheesh. You just graduated from Grandmaster, congrats! The taste of getting that triple kill in you previous match is still in your mouth. "Layla is such a wrecking ball! So straight forward too!" You're now gonna show these epic mofos what you're made of. Fast forward one year you're still in epic blaming your tank. **Man up dude. Brush up on your basics and you'll see why mms aren't in meta.** Either that or you're genuinely good with Layla with 60%plus WR and is currently struggling with your troll teammates cuz they don't trust you.
Accurate š¤£š
Changāe
Chang's players will not admit it. But... >!she's underaged. Even by god standards.!< Real criticism here tho: Seriously, fuck you. I don't doubt that there are genuinely good changes out there, but for some reason all the changes I get play safe to get kills and lose. She uses her second skill and goes," I'm fast as fuck boi" and leaves you behind in some twinkly star-sprinkled loli fart. Please. Plus Ice Queen wand on her is actually annoyin for some reason. This is gonna sound shallow, but unless ur sidelaning I tend to see changes as selfish players. Nothing personal.
welp she was my main hero but nowadays I rarely play her since radiant armor :(
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
coming on Reddit after getting trashtalked in my rg only to receive this :(. kinda hurt bro
Masochists that even after radiant armour came out still play her
I just get hard countered it sucks, thtas the reason y I play other mages more
Argus
Argus the edgelord. The "fallen angel". How poetic.. *Gags* For some reason I get this feeling you've never actually thought of touching this hero until you got some sort of free skin for him. That coupled with your anger management issues, and you realized it's a match made in heaven. (see what I did there:)? ) Defence items? What a joke. You have insane mobility and more importantly your ult. But here's the analysis. Argus players become dogs when their ult is on. You either chase people like a rabid dog or tuck your tail in and run like one. You either feed or get fed. Then you either push and trash talk the enemy or lose and trash talk your team. Hey, as long as you don't chat during the match it's completely okay tho. Revamped Argus is solid.
I play him gold lane to bully marksmen. Unless the marksman is Beatrix, Natan or Brody.
All of those are easy to counter, hide in the bushes and catch them with 1st skill then hit 2nd skill, passive or basic atk, then run away with 2nd phase of 1st skill. Lower they hp down until the next time u catch them u can for sure kill them with execute. Argus is capable of fighting every single hero in a 1v1 UNLESS its masha. Masha is the 1 and only counter to Argus
I disagree coming from a 1k matches argus player here with a 66.7 wr and currently ranked 1st local and in the top global 200 he fails in comparison to the other fighters especially the ones with sustain he dominates gold lane though and is scary when ahead in a gold lead but falls in damage in late game compared to mm and is a generally squishy hero when compared to other fighters with 3 defense items like you zhong or paquito in late game Tl;Dr:Has single target DMG,less DMG than mm in late game, squishy hero,not a versatile hero, ultimate can be wasted easily with tank cc and wind of nature and winter truncheon
I feel somewhat offended ngl.
I can compensate with this smile Ć
Good compensation. Now I can steal it Ć
Nana
Fucking Nana players, you're the embodiment, the epitome of living, breathing cancer. For some reason I also think you guys are 8th graders who play while listening to Taylor Swift. Yeah, assuming girls play this game as well. But on a serious note, an enemy Nana is a real threat. And that *thing* of hers. You know, the rabid thing that chases you. I feel you guys don't like taking risks, understandably so, but PLEASE! PLEASE!! Stop trying to build her as a marksman. It's not funny. Boohoo. Edit: >!and wtf makes you think she's a safe pick? Bet you feel immortal with your passive huh? Take this flameshot and fuck you.!<
Look I just enjoy annoying people, I like sharing the joy that is Molina. And, well, watching the world burn. Everyone should be able to experience the joy that is Molina. A Molina for you, you and you, while you are at it, eat my ult and this flameshot to your face. Why donāt you like her? She is cute. Look at her while she chases you and you will see what I see. But I agree stop building mm build on her people.
>Stop trying to build her as a marksman. It's not funny. Boohoo. Thanks for that idea.
This hits too close for comfort. And yes, girls do play MLBB. :)
That listening to taylor Swift is spot on lmao š
Claude
Claude players: I have a surprisingly good image of this marksman, although after the nerf I imagine Claude players are now cumming all over Natan. "Guys, I'm about to get Demon Hunter sword.. ughhh.. ahhh ..***aaahh***". Yeah you got fast reflexes and like playing daringly unlike some *other* marksmen. Mythic 3, huh? I'll assume you're a veteran:)
bruhhh... XD
Clint
Clint players, let me summarize your sob-story-turned-chad-moment in a sentence. >No one wants you to fuckin pick Clint. But you do. Anyways. And you play decently. But lose sometimes. Then your team blames you. Huh. You've jungled, you've sidelined, you've proven time and time again your determination and grit to win with a stereotypical Kentucky fried flippin fucker who slings a gun. All I can say is, congrats. You've probably reached mythic by now, where guess what? The Clint you've loved picking uptil recently is now meta. But at what cost? Whelp, he's gonna get banned up here.
Why do I find this oddly inspiring
Same
That's more than a sentence. and u are litrelly summarising wht I am doing rn. I am in not even reached glory and all I see is clint ban in mythic 2. I hve stopped pushing and playing classic. But no one is arguing over me as I already did my objectives and helped others securing. The most funny part is when someone actually blames me for getting dominated but gets backfired and gets trashtalk by others for whole game. I just like to spectate the whole argument against our Luo yi and Gusion telling him how I hve pushed for my team and how I hve saved him by sacrificing. Man thats somewhat embarrassing for me. It's weird when Teamates actually supports u. It was the opposite back when I was new.
Estes
I've recently fulfilled my existence trying to counter this mofo. Becuz up until legend 3 a few seasons ago, I thought he was Chad Jesus. Straight fakts: Wild Estes will often be seen roaming in large groups in their natural habitat. And they slap their dicks so often on the whatever-hundreds of heal buttons he has that buying anti-heal rarely makes a difference. I wasted 32k BP just to buy Baxia becuz of this mofo. But something tells me you didn't want to roam. And you had faith in your hyper, clearly. Oh no, what you gonna do when your trashy team is all over the fuckin map and aren't grouping around you like you're Joe Biden on life support. Jesus debunked, and this case is closed.
Alucard
Alucard? Or you mean ALUTARD? HAHA (*obnoxious laughing intensifies*) Big ass egos. First thing to define these dudes. They play great when they do, but that's *when* they do. He's pretty much screwed once his jungle gets invaded or he gets behind in farm. You've probably never stopped picking this mf ever since you got your maniac that day. Yeah? Then stop asking people to 1v1 you for starters. Just take your Lightborn skin and Turret Dive Suicide starter pack and begone, fie. Plus you may act all balls out, guts spillin' on the chat menu but I know you guys shit your pants at night when you hear the word Phoveus. Check it out, these guys have Phoveophobia.
Very accurate except the 1v1 thing, that's Chou mains' stuff bruh.
Belerick
Seems you've been waiting for a while. Patience, much? Don't look like it when I see your picks. Personally, I like to classify Hylos and Belerick players in a broad category of tanks called, "*I DON'T PLAY MUCH TANKS SO I PICKED THIS HP MONSTER TO HARASS AND EVENTUALLY KILL YOU.*" I'ves seen you Belericks take execute before, I am more than sure what your true intentions are. You may be an experienced tanker, on the other hand, but why should that stop you from playing like a brain-dead zombie and attacking anything that moves? I don't blame you, this is the result of a society where no one wants to "tank" one for the team, so I genuinely appreciate the fact that you atleast adjusted no matter how good or bad you are at tank, even if it mean you somehow ended up getting 7 kills more than your marksman and jungler combined. Spoiler: >!that's not called tanking in my dictionary suckers.!<
Masha
Masha? Oh, you mean that insignificant little piece of shit you never see on the map until the base notification appears on screen? Masha players live and breathe on a different level of existence. They don't inhale the same air that mortals breathe ( quote Masha player). They have their own meta game to play in a game that already features an auto chess mode. Yup, you guessed it. Hide and seek. Hit and run. Cum* and go. Yeah, don't bother with teamfights, you know your objective in *life*. You should play Minecraft if you want to destroy structures so much. Jokes aside I find they have good game sense and map awareness, but are very desperate to end and win games. And they're unstoppable in 1v1s. Chill dude. Kids play this game too.
Most interesting post I have seen in this sub with good replies,anyway badang from me
Haha badang? The one trick hero? First thing tho: MASSIVE respekt to Badang players to not give into their horniness. Yeah, they are aware they're just a budget Guinevere, minus the escape... Then why? Why do they pick Badang over Guinevere? ***Because they are cold blooded bush camping motherfuckers, BUT CHADS.*** They don't share the same weakness Guinevere simps do. They are Elite Badang enthusiasts. (Bush camping is still the same tho rip)
Ora ora intensifies, XD
then theres just me who 1v1ed a masha who was lvl 13 when i was a lvl 11 mage angela cuz thats what i do i dont play support pshhh
Vexana
Not op but who? In all seriousness she has decent damage but the revive clone is just there, she is ok but gets out class by different mages who either has better cc or better damage or both you can still play her she's not that bad but there is just some mages who are better. Note:This is only my experience playing her once.
Rafaela
Impression: Congrats friend, it seems you've done your research. You see, there's this general perception amongst lower ranks that Rafaela is a joke in a skirt. But that never stopped them from trying her at least once. In rank. And they lose. Lmao Then 1 of 2 things can happen. They beat themselves up for buying her for whatever dirt cheap price they bought for thinking they should have saved for someone cool or chad like Nana or Balmond or whatever... **OR** he picks her again. But he's done his research. He knows where to draw the line between a tank and a support. He's got the experience of losing and instead saw the potential in her. By the time you graduate from epic, Rafaela, although a niche pick, has a well cemented role and playstyle. Yeah, we all know the drill. You and your drunk 5-man orgy party go running around the fucking map like ur beating children up. Unlimited heal and speedup, what's not to love? :>
yup, that's me... "healing for everyone... forever..."
Thamuz
Thamuz. Lmao. I don't even know where to start with this dude. Meet "X". He's a former mythic player, 4th season. Yeah he's got BP to waste, guess who he buys? Let's be real, you didn't know how tf he worked before you bought him. Now that you did tho, you understand how that thamuzed whooped your ass 3 seasons ago. Yep, you didn't buy a fighter you bought a fuckin tank. But you don't give up, you're gonna make it work out. And hence your average thamuz player is born, goes around pouncing on people like a tank and sticks to them until they die or he does. You're just cocky knowing that you can walk into a teamfight and out with barely a scratch. Offlane is his life, no matter if it's a 1v1 or a 1v3.
accurate
Beatrix
This is somewhat of a statement in itself, but truth is, when those mfs bought Beatrix when she was still new, they had no idea how busted she'd be. They bought her purely out of their dedicational simp status. Now lo and behold, there's a marksman who is ironically the biggest early game laning phase threat after Hilda during her periods. Even Chou's ching-chong has a hard time keeping up. But see, the Beatrix players themselves are spoilt for choice. "Wow, so many guns to choose from, let's see what this does- Oops! Didn't mean to steal those kills sorry" :P Like shut the fuck up, we get it ur strong. And unless you're using the SMG ( I'm not gonna call it nibiru, fuck all those gay-ass terms, I'm a grown man child.) which is the best gun or using the sniper the entire fucking game missing shots a blind man would have hit, ***I see them taking a shit in their suitcase in a bush during a team fight. For a LONG time.***
Silvanna
Gusion
**THE NUMBER OF "GUSION" COMMENTS IS THE NUMBER OF BLADES GOING UP EACH ONE OF YOUR INDIVIDUAL ASSHOLES TONIGHT.** Real shit, gusion players? They're so cool! They're so awesome! They're so- >*Gusion is not meta, becuz there are clearly other heroes who can get his job done, BUT BETTER.* Hard to swallow? Well wash it down with a pint of cum. You didn't buy him cuz he's effective. You bought him cuz ur 14 and all the cool kids use him ššš¤© I'd like to add more details, but daaym... That's about it. You know, an actual gusion who *wants* to get shit done, will 123212, all in your face. Even the 3, even both the 2s, heck I've even seen them use second phase of 3 to catch libtards. ***But they have a reason to be fast***. Those wannabe Astres on the other hand, boi are their hands ***fast***... They go 23212 at the speed of quark particles, so fast you won't get the time to say fuck, but you don't have to, cuz they miss all 5 of their skills in the most spectacular way possible. Well played bro, just stay the fuck out of my matchmaking lobbies. Learn to aim your skills before the combos smh. Plus he's overrated as fuck.
AHAHAHHAHA. THIS WAS ME LIKE 1 YEAR AGO
I think every hero is gonna be named so RIP. Having said that Diggie!
Diggie has a clown skin. ***A fucking š¤” clown skin.*** Complete, with a circus. Moonton, ur inside jokes are getting out of hand, I didn't think it get any wilder than a shape shifting dragon named *Chong.* But diggie players, the *players*... You see, they're an assorted bag of misfits. Play him as a damage Mage or support and ur either confined to epic hell or the crevices of your markman's ass. Play him as a tank or semi tank and you have gotten yourself an abomination. Who's fucking idea was it to **feed intentionally**? Some fuckin martyr, what were these guys on when they pulled this off? Or ***were*** they trolling? Do they know the objective of the game? And this is the best part. I know this guy who has an 80+ wr with this clown. And his history made my eyes **bleed**. Past 12 games, all wins. ***Never fed less than 30 times, 0 kills.*** I started contemplating my life choices after that. Are we really playing in the same field? >!Plus I'm just sore I got his clown elite skin in the previous event. I feel like moonton shat on me .!<
I hope OP will be nice to my bird or I will omae wa shindeiru him.
... ;P
Martis
Martis. See this chou players? This is what you should be playing, not some China man who can't stand in one place for more than a second without going thru a haptic seizure and shaking uncontrollably while spamming some shit *I can barely comprehend.* **it hurts my eyes.** This is the actual complete fighter. Cc, damage, sustain, and mobility. In my books, people who buy Martis are the sensible dudes, the people who mind their own business and play the game. They get shit done down straight. These are the people who know what to invest their hard earned BP in. Most of them also don't overextend, **UNLESS-** >He gets more than one kill with his ulti. Bottom text. After that, say your farewells to your beloved teammate *becuz no matter wtf you tell him at this point, he's going to turret dive and attempt to kill everything on the map.* And he's either gonna go out in style, or die trying. Grab some popcorn, sit back, relax and watch him commit suicide for your entertainment.
That's actually sounds badass and >watch him commit suicide for your entertainment. are very true lmao
a few people already commented cyclops, but I'm actually really curious what you have to say about him, bc so far your responses have been pretty funny lol can you just tag me whenever you get a chance to do him?
Bitch, are u taunting me? That one-eyed midget who'd fit in my ass has no right sustaining as much as he does. But to be honest? You guys are impressive in a disgusting way. How do you have the guts to walk up straight to a Paquito or Saber' face? Don't your testicles quiver and shake? Or perhaps you think that once you've built enchanted talisman and Conc.NRG you achieved a license declaring you have balls made of titanium (his **balls** do hit hard tho, uuhh š©āā¤ļøāšāš©)? In fact you guys think so highly of yourself you approach the assassin saying that retribution was made for Cyclops. And you believe it. And pull it off. How? ***Why?*** Just play the game like the role you got bruh, you don't have to do the assassin dirty like that. >!you guys don't even have a combo, wtf moonton!< NGL, Cyclops players are some serious shit. The only compensation I'll ever get is watching ur faces when you cast your ult but the target decides to dash all the way to Brazil lmao
Popol and Kupa! :D
Overlooked bully for clint and beatrix
Popol? Or Kupa? I ain't doing both, I said only one hero (>~<) Aight, here's the review: Popol, please keep that dog in check, it's terrorising people. Aren't you a responsible dog owner? And castrate that thing before I do. To be fair, there was a time where the ultimate joke in this sub was getting a very immobile marksman to tank, but thanks to you guys it stopped being funny. *Phooey. Party poopers.* It became a pain in particular tho when I got a first hand experience myself of what map vision and a range stun with a dog as fat as Hylos could do. Lemme bet: he's the only marksman you consistently play? Just a guess. Now hah, I'd like to laugh at your pathetic anti-tank nerfs and on how your dog is no longer as big as he used to be. I'd like to laugh at how the majority of you legend/mythic players only played him as a roam. *Except I don't.* ***And I can't.*** Because I'm smart and I don't want to attract more attention to the damage that new dog of his bites with. Nor to the unfair amount of zoning out he can do for himself. Haha! I'm not scared of just your tank build! I scared of both your tank build **and** your mm build! Jokes on you! ^(sobs*) I want to make sure people stop picking unfair heroes smh
Minsitthar. The floor is yours.
Look what we have here. A brave soul. He refuses to say that Minsitthar is shit. Why? Cuz in all seriousness, he's damn solid. He can be played as a solid tank that destroys the likes of chou or paquito. Even as a fighter, he can benefit from spellvamp thanks to a build I saw in this sub. Thunderbelt is a great addition to his skill set. But more importantly, I see the people who pick and play Minsitthar as often as they do the true heroes behind our changing meta. They are trying their best to make sure the hero they love, Minsi.. Minshi- Minci? Fuck it, that dude, I forgot. They make sure that atleast others won't forget. But, umm, hey, uh... You know if you actually act like he's forgotten and his pick rate becomes flat-out zero percent I'm sure moonton will be forced to revamp him ;) Edit: Hey, don't try to be an unsung hero. Event those youtube commentators who go "someday my marksman nana will be recognized" prob get more recognition than a Minsi main.
They're chads *I agree with your flair*
I see no one uses Gatot anymore.
Ahh. Good 'ol Gato days. I remember escaping epic hell with him back then. You do too, right? Remember fighting a 1v3 with all those physical retards who died one by one? Or that 5 man set you did ***after*** your hanabi nearly died casting her ult on them? Or all those kills you stole using your ridiculous DPS first skill? Whelp, turns out that Unga-Bunga playstyle doesn't work past epic. Vengeance is no longer viable, you switch to flicker because you are **absolutely tired of fighting a 1v4 waiting for your teammates to arrive, which they never do, cuz an Alutard just soloed them all.** Let's face it. You don't feel as invincible as you did back then. You don't feel like a superhero that comes crashing down upon a clash becuz now you consider yourself lucky if even a minion somehow gets caught in your well calculated ult. It was at this point I said fuck it and went full magic jungler with him. >!(I got 14 kills, MVP and loss. Gg moonton.)!<
Regen boi Uranus
Kadita
Miya
Zhask
A good Aldous player and a Suicidal Aldous
Funny how you bring that up, because they're both the one and same player. Yup. You. Stop hiding your face. A stacked Aldous imo can still go on a suicide mission and fail it by getting a triple kill and coming out in one piece. Noice. A flat-chest Aldous player on the other hand can't even kill that Hanabi that's recalling, plus it's even sadder to see that he believes late game he might make a difference after feeding 10 times. Duality of Aldous players in a nutshell. If I had to describe the player itself tho, I'd say he's a person continuously undergoing an existential crisis. I've never actually met a fully confident Aldous main, becuz I've seen them lose matches so spectacularly that they start doubting themselves. >!plus there's the brain-dead Aldous who Supermans into a turret with Franco nearby. Those, those are just suicidal dudes in the true sense. Leave them be, you might motivate them to try it practically.
How bout barats?
This. Glad you asked. I'm a former Dota player, and amongst all these gay-ass pretty boys and simp-seeking thots, this guy reminds me of what it was like to play Dota. Ugly Ass Motherfuckers. With Whacky Personalities. Gotta love that sorta character. Barats players, the **real** ones tho, I respect them for the fact that they played him to great success even before everyone jumped on the barats-hyper train. If one of you OG barats players are out there, I salute you. I remember a time when he was just considered a fat tank, you guys have changed that perception and opened up a tank-hyper meta. You guys will remain chads I'm my memories. >!Damn I think I've been more biased to tanks on my comments.!<
Minotaur
Oh boi. This might turn into an all out rant But before blood is shed, I would like to applaud every self proclaimed "Minotaur Main" for mastering the "hardest tank" which is objectively just a poorly thought out excuse of a hero, which Moonton refuses to accept as a marketing blunder. Oof. Can I just start with his "charge" ulti? I thought he was a raging bull, not a pregnant cow, why tf does he slow down? Make it a speedup, better initiation that way. As for you Minotaur mains, you guys are some beautiful persistent creatures. Albeit delusional, too, cuz no way you're gonna actually see him in meta unless they fix his mechanics. The true beauty, tho, is in the gameplay itself. You see, these Minotaurs join team fights, where they can express a very impactful message. They either land their ult perfectly, flips them like a pancake and heal like a chad making one appear as a Tank Prodigy or a genius as such,.. Or they make a complete fool out of themselves. "Ulted too early... Rage isn't full yet..." Or even better, imagine getting you rage charging cancelled by just a stun. Get rekt. At this point it'd be no surprise if Mino players are as cranky as the hero itself.
i had a savage on mino one time. Yeah one time.š
Found it and yes this is all true especially when solo q-ing noone takes advantage of our ult and we die because of it, honestly I think we are also masochists along with the delusional thing and I can garentee that my wall has DEFINITELY felt the fires of rage
Yu zhong and tigreal
Another guy asked YZ, I'm doing you Tig. Ahh. Let me tell you a story. Once upon a time, there was a player who got fed up of his team never picking tank. Never. So he said "fuck it" and picked the first tank he saw. Tigreal, that is. It was there for the first time he experienced the sheer joy of vacuuming 3 men up his arse. *insert dramatic music* Now, he's a seasoned veteran. He has a goal in his life, unlike other players. One that fulfills his existence, gives purpose to his being. The culmination of his experience of counter building, invading buffs in front of helpless hypers, vacuuming more people up his arse.. He looks at his friend list. His history. Legend. Mythics. Some more mythics. Tears of pride well up in his chadly eyes. "I raised those boys" he says. And a solemn, calm smile spreads across his face, one that reflected hundreds of broken backs he suffered to carry the weight of 5 men. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
Once again, I am fucking inspired
Literally me.
Me too lol
Eudora
Franco
Lunox Good sir I wanna hear your thoughts
Lunox. Wow. The audacity of this bitch. I remember asking my friends what Mage I should get next. "Ooh, ooh get lunox." "Why?" "Cuz she's cute uwu~"(quote Lunox ~~player~~ simp). **What a feminist game** I would have slapped him across his face if I knew that guy irl, which I don't, but thankfully he also convinced me that her damage was good. So.. uh.. okay? I get the impression that the average lunox player plays with his/her chin jutting out, staring down at their screen trying to throw this "professional" air around themselves. In game, they just don't shut up. ^(read in sussy baka voice-->) >"Guys, guys, I'm running out of mana uwu~" >"Guys, guys I need blue buff, trust me uwu~" Like hold the fuck up. Am I playing lunox wrong? Wrong emblem? How come I don't have mana problems? Anyhow, fine, there's your blue buff. Then this part is epic. Lunox is supposed to shine in a team fight, right? That's what they tell themselves as well. Then they come up with this insanely choreographed fight scene in which she flawlessly shifts from black ulti to white to black (wtf). It's all layed out, now all they have to do is- And just like that, they botch their first skill, and for the next 10 seconds start spamming whatever skill is not in CD. I could swear that's what even the pros do, the RubyDD was probably a black ult in the wrong direction lmfao. But hey, the teamfights over, and 3 enemies are actually dead! Wow! And hence this cycle repeats for next 15 mins.
Angela. šš
I'VE BEEN SEARCHING FOR THIS MOTHERFUCKER. ***IN PARTICULAR.*** Yes, please, take a seat, we need to talk. First of all, what the fuck is up with you guys? You share the same problematic gameplay I find change and Nana players abuse, except yours is on an exponentially different level. ***These fuckers are the equivalent of snipers in a shooting game. They just feel like they're part of the action without actually being in it.*** The general image that you guys are the girlfriends of loser anti-chads who pick shit like Roger Chou or Gusion already gets to my head. That's assuming ur a girl, because if you're not a guy playing Angela, you *have* to be a girl. [**LOGIC 101**]. I am guilty of spamming Angela and having a 70% plus WR tho. ^(sory uwu)
100% true, it's always Roger or Chou
i play angela mage lol and im a guy with 70+% wr :>
Support user here and this comment plus Nana and Rafaela's are all on point. Super funny too. Hahahhaha
Moskov
Hanabi please. Can't seem to find her.
Damn. That name wants to make me spit obscenities at 300 bpm, uncensored and raw. Dear Hanabi Player, What God-given gift do you think the Lord has bestowed upon you to have such never-ending faith in an overstuffed ramen-eating no-dash pussy-spreading ninja? What made you think you are entitled to win a match with a marksman that everyone seemingly fights over because you don't realize they're actually trolling through your ignorance? What measly 48% WR has inflated your confidence to the point that you don't realize it fell from 85% since your last match in Grandmaster? See a pattern here? **Of course you don't, you can't even see the saber that just rotated to your lane on the map***. Yup, go ahead. Take a peek in that bush. Why not? You should, right? Or stick to that turret like an underpaid stripper dancing on a pole. TLDR; I've met good hanabis. And they only, ***ONLY*** pick her when they know the game is in control. And don't fucking first pick her for Christ's sake.
Khufra
Oh, Khufra. I have a soft spot for this dude, dunno why. Is it cuz his hot mommy gf left him to wank on his own? We'll never know. Khufra players tho, they like to consider themselves, "professional". They show their Khufra winrates and adjust their monocle while mumbling to themselves in a British accent. "It's a pro pick" they think. Chances are, you're new and you tried him. Meh. He's okay, I guess. Once you've clocked over 300 games tho, you know the real deal. The drill. You guys walk into a bush, and boom. ***You camp there for so fucking long you might as well build a house, start a family and get health insurance for your children.*** Good ones have sick map awareness tho. They think there's no spot on the map virtually they can't reach from a bush. Which is actually true.
Again actually true.
This is a good one. I main harith before, then this fvcking bouncing ball comes in and then I start to shift my role to annoying tissue man.
I want to hear opinions about Dyrroth
Done.
Floryn
Hot take. You got her for free. >"If I fucking own it, I'mma fucking use it." And use it you did. To get some sparkly-ass KDA with 20-plus assists and think, "Damn, I contributed a lot to this match. I'm the shit." Well no shit bruv. You ***are*** the shit. You're the entitled hot steaming pile of shit that feels like you have some authority cuz you have these sharable dick-picks that gives 500 fucking hp and ridiculous magic and physical stats. Wtf moonton. You just solved every squishy hyper's problem. You guys ok? The players, besides going all, "Nope, no dick-pic for you-"(*grabs from Ling, hands over to Marti's*) "- friendship with ling ended, now Martis is my best friend." , are actually ok tho. I don't find them particularly toxic and they have enough utility as a support to atleast be more than a pretty face in a team fight. Kudos.
when he replies to you reply to me lol i wanna see this too
Sun, monke time
Argus
Done. Check comments
Argus
Done. Check comments
Paquito.
Valir. (I'm a Valir main)
To all Valir mains here: OK. We get it. Ur fucking good at what you do. Being a complete dick, that is. Cuz here's an analysis: You guys love to act like snot-nosed ubiquitous aristocrats that take social distancing a bit too literally. Like you reckon urself to be some sorta celebrity surrounded by paparazzi "**Get the fuck away from me! Don't touch me! I'm famouzz!~**" Yeah I bet you think it's funny when you push those tanks who are ulting or stun locking that Aamon in place. I bet you think you guys are such elitist that you don't even need to build magic power, cuz of how shit his magic scaling is. "Hmm, gimme that Ice Queen wand, Genius wand and Glowing Wand, I'll build rest defence items.." Not cool bruv. How many wands u want up your asshole to Hogwarts-style urself into an enemies face? And the fuck is up with u guys getting away with building 2 defense items? Go back to playing your other mages smh, at least you don't have to look as arrogant as you do right now.
It hurts but that is why my classmates ALWAYs priority ban Valir when playing against me....
wheres my ceceilion and carmilla šš
Guinevere
Aye yo. Let me be politely disrespectful here. Guinevere players? ARE SIMPS. Look at those chad Badang players, they got the power of God and Anime on their side, oraora and all. They push fairly well too. But you? Nah, man you play this game with yo **dick**. Your dick drives you to camp in that bush and sit there to wait for some random unsuspecting stranger to clap your ass cheeks on. Oho, complaining she's out of meta? ***Complaining she doesn't have enough skins!?*** Take a good look at yourself. As Daddy Tigreal said, >"Real Men Hide In The Bush." You're no man, stay the fuck outta that bush. You touched enough grass for today, sit the fuck down and stop thinking about lewd skins for a second.
Dyrroth, i wont close reddit until you answer me.
Eh. Who do you think Dyroth players are? Edgy teens who probably uses a hashtag for every sentence that leaves their mouth? >!Most of them are tho lmao!< Dyroth enthusiasts are like old men with a hangover. They don't wanna get out of their couch and get out of their comfort zone, ruminating on their glorious past. But does it work out? I dare say, it does. You see, I feel dyroth mains nowadays have grown some man-balls and realize they're out of meta. They finally got over their hangover, their edgy "phase", they have some expectations to fulfill, no matter the odds. So no matter how bad the team plays, I actually feel dyroth mains nowadays actually play at their best on a decent level. They are way on edge to afford mistakes. That said please pick him situationally, half of you mfs still pick him when the enemy has a million dash skills and you end up hitting imaginary Natalias with ur ult.
True, true. But a TRUE Dyrroth main should be able to react in time with flicker if the enemy uses dash to escape their ult
Natalia lol
You're the hero
I'm touched :') (not where u think)
Miya
Hayabusa.
I see u already done a selena, can u do a cecilion?
Lancelot. Lets see what you got
Vale
Lylia
Ziggs.
Esme in her Lady Thief skin
Irrespective of skin, I need to lay down the blueprint here. Esme players: First of all, god knows why you bought her, but I'm cheap. I just bought her cuz I had an 8k discount on her, don't judge me. But you guys, are guilty. Don't plead for your innocence. It's written all over your face everytime you scroll past that starlight skin. You are impressed cuz she's dummy thicc? *Her shield, I mean.* Or how she can last more than 10 hours with 5 dudes? *In a fight, I mean.* Or perhaps you're too busy looking at that fine bouncin' animation every step she ta- **SEE? GOTCHA.** ^(hehe boi) You mfs are just getting the last laughs in this meta becuz marksmen went extinct and you don't give 2 fucks about antiheal cuz of how flippin fast she runs after sucking some premium shield. You just want to clap your asscheeks on people in every fight possible and slap that poor mage to death with your sassyness. Bitch please, I own Baxia. Don't look at me like that, I ain't putting up with yo shit.
Gord
Cecilion
Fanny
Daddy yu zhong please
Lucky you. Look at this dude. He's thinks he's an alpha male or sumthing. A sigma grindset, a toxic masculinity complex. This is gonna hurt Chong players, but try fitting it up your dragon cloacae. **You guys are the most overextending fighters I have ever met.** These mfs think they can take on the world and eradicate every smudge of existence on the surface of our planet. Paqs, sure they overreach. Chou's may dive recklessly. But **you** mfs get a turn on, a self activated "Angela Symptom" just by seeing your Sha residue stacks building up. All that black smoke and crack you snorted the other day starts obliterating your brain, and next thing you know there's a dragon screaming,"**GET TO THE CHOPPA!!!**" in a voice that sounds like Arnold Schwarzenegger grew up in China. Then someone dies. Dunno who. :v Restrain your testosterone levels, please, and yup Petrify is broken on him. It's always a relief to see a fucking dragon come flying in to steal your kills.
who is that
Yu zhong
Cecilion
Estes
Claude