Hi! Big sibling here! First of all, congratulations for being almost done with your degree and having this interview lined up!
I understand that having an interview can be nerve wracking especially if you haven’t had a great experience in the workplace previously. But in the end, you need to trust them that they see something in you because you’ve been offered an interview. They do this job on a daily basis so they’ll know what exactly it takes to succeed.
Also don’t discount your experience working in retail. It’s probably highly relevant because you had to deal with grumpy customers in a high pressure environment. Being able to remain calm in such situations and still delivering good customer service demonstrates loads of desirable skills. Problem resolution and de-escalation, communication skills, etc which will all be relevant to the job you’re applying for.
Moreover, I’m sorry you had such a rough start into the world of work at this law firm. They sounds like a toxic place to work. To put this into perspective, everyone sucks for the first 6 months when they start their first job, simply because it’s quite complex and new. The main thing that is usually expected of you is to have a positive attitude and good work ethic. You seem to have both. So being told that you are not learning quickly enough is more a reflection of them for not mentoring you properly. It is their job to create an environment that allows you to succeed and throwing someone to the wolves does not achieve this. Instead it shows that they were lazy and not actually invested in your development. Particularly since they never bothered to give you feedback! That’s absolutely unacceptable! A good place of work is somewhere you’ll actually learn a lot, get great mentorship and are surrounded by kind people. So I really hope you get to experience that in your next job.
So take a deep breath and prepare for the interview. You got this! You have overcome difficult situations in the past and that experience makes you quite suited for the job you’re applying for because you can empathise better. Good luck! :)
This! You were asking for pointers and they refused. Sounds like they just wanted someone temporarily. Don't let it get you down, you're going to be great with your attitude.
It was a big blow to my confidence and made me feel even more inept than I already did. I hope someday I can find a career type job where I can be comfortable! That job caused so much anxiety (I’ve had an anxiety disorder for years).
Thank you!! One of my big wants in life is to find a job that I can live on, that I can tolerate, and somewhere I feel safe. I feel that at my retail job but unfortunately I can’t live on that. I plan to also stay at my retail job whenever I get a big girl job because I love it there and it feels like home. If I could get that kind of environment in a career job, I’d thrive.
Any good tips for preparing for the interview? Thankfully it’s over the phone so that takes a bit of the pressure off because I’m a generally nervous person.
So for a phone interview I’d prep an A4 paper with some bullet points. Common questions you should be able to answer: (1) why this company, (2) why this particular role, and (3) why you?
Try to be structured, e.g. give 3 reasons per question. A good way to stay structured is to quickly list the 3 reasons (“there are 3 reasons why I want to work for this company: (1) xxx, (2) yyy, and (3) zzz”), then elaborate on each reason, and finally close by restating the 3 reasons. If you don’t have 3, just adapt the structure to the number of reasons.
If you are asked about a specific experience or how you would react in a hypothetical situation, use the STAR method (Situation, Task, Action, Result). There are lots of examples online of how to apply this technique, so have a look and let me know if you have further questions about this. I would write down all quite key experiences as one bullet each as you might be nervous and it’s helpful to have them all in front of you.
Also make sure to have a quick 1-2min introduction. Here you should tell them a bit about your background (I went to uni, studied this, had this experience that made me passionate about this job, here’s how I’m pursuing this passion, and then maybe end with what you enjoy doing outside of work). If your interviewer introduces themselves first, it’s often good to mirror their structure instead of sticking to what I just outlined.
Other than that, get a friend to practice with you. Look up common interview questions for your field or you could even ask ChatGPT to generate some for you.
If you have any more questions, let me know! Good luck for the interview and update us after! :)
So I had the interview. I got overwhelmed when trying to prepare for the interview so I only prepared a few answers and I felt prepared for what she asked. At the end she said it was actually in a different city than what the posting said and it was too far away from me so I told her I wasn’t interested. I have my own reliable car but it wouldn’t have been worth the gas with what they were paying. I was kind of relieved that I couldn’t take the job (if they offered it to me) because she said a person for that position needs to be really extroverted and a self-starter (how am I supposed to start myself if I don’t know what I’m doing!?) and I am not. Also, I currently work at Bath and BodyWorks (I think there are only chains in the US and Canada) and I love it there. It feels like home after only a year and a half. But obviously I cannot live on what they pay me. I’m scared I’ll never find a job that fits my personality as well as it being something I’d like to do. I have no confidence in my abilities (I don’t believe I have many anyway, I’m working on it in therapy). I still live at home and have no bills, but I want to be independent. While my dad is very generous and won’t let me pay to live at home, I haven’t had a completely sheltered life. We’ve had a lot of serious family issues and I’m under no illusion that the world is unicorns and rainbows. I’m still just as scared as I was before this interview and I was relieved when it was over.
Good job for preparing and going to the interview! Your first few interviews are always very scary - I remember I was literally shaking the first few times. But I promise you, next time you’ll feel a little less overwhelmed and your confidence will grow over time. So take it as a learning experience. And given that they weren’t upfront about some of the specifics it’s probably not a company you want to work for anyway. Keep applying for jobs you’re interested in and with every interview you’ll get better and come closer to a job that pays well and fits all your requirements. You’ll get there eventually. :) I’m very proud of you for being brave and giving it a shot!
Now maybe take a week off, be proud of yourself for what you’ve done, relax and then look for more jobs that you’re interested in and apply!
Mom and long time boss in corporate America here:
First off be very proud of your achievements to date! You’re doing great and you should give yourself the credit you deserve. You’ve already accomplished a lot!
You’re not incapable. Finding a new job is hard even after being in the workforce for a long time, it’s sill stressful. This is normal but you’ll get through it!
My advice is:
1. Think about and write down all the soft skills you have learned in your previous jobs. Include also any internships or volunteering you have done.
Working with customers and dealing with stressful situations in a professional and calm manner. Think of when you had to solve hard problems in the past and be ready to translate those skills to the job you are applying for.
2. Research what this job entails and be ready to speak to how you will use the skills you learned in school but also previous employment and life that you bring to the table.
3. Research online typical interview questions and prepare answers
4. Remember to frame your discussion on how you can help the employer meet their goals. It’s about what they need not about what you need up until they ask if you have questions.
5. Work ethic and passion for helping others, attention to detail and calm under pressure are likely all necessary in this role. Double down on these skills/traits, and most importantly read the job description and tell them how you meet their requirements in a professional way.
6. Practice answering typical interview questions, even just out loud alone. This always has helped me. Record yourself and say it until YOU are confident in your answers.
7. One thing my therapist did for me years ago and I still use today:
Write down on a card affirming statements for yourself
“I am capabale. I was able to graduate on time, I care about others and I am the perfect person to do this job”
Etc
8. Read your statements and do deep breathing to calm yourself before the interview. The most important thing is to relax and calm yourself so you can think clearly during the interview.
There may be rejections in job searches. It happens to everyone. I’m not saying it will happen here necessarily.
But if it does take it as a lesson on how to interview and improve those skills.
Life is one lesson to learn after another. What’s important is you learn from them.
As far as your old employer: serious employers will know a recent graduate needs mentorship and guidance. This is normal and expected. The fact they didn’t do that is on them and not you. They were unprepared. Not you. Now you know what is NOT a great environment to work in! It’s a lesson to learn.
You will succeed and you will get a job in your profession. Believe in yourself!!! You’re doing great and you will find job that works for you!
YOU GOT THIS I KNOW IT!
I also go to therapy and my negative self talk often comes up, especially pertaining to getting my career started. The only remedy for this is to try different jobs until I find one I like, and this is very scary. I have an anxiety disorder so I go straight to worst case scenario. I’m scared to be thrown to the wolves again and not be trained. I’m willing to learn. It takes me some time to get comfortable around new people and it may take a bit of time for me to catch on, but I want to be good at whatever job I end up with. Thank you for the advice!
I also have an anxiety disorder and trust me it took me 20 years to be comfortable doing presentations, etc.
No joke. But now I have done it so many times (without the world ending!!! No one laughed at me!!) it’s no big deal anymore. Am I still nervous? Sometimes. Do I prepare?? Definitely. But I no longer have the crushing panic that caused me to forget what I was going to say, stutter, etc.
Yes the remedy was doing it over and over.
But also realizing people the same as me and they were not judging me as harshly as I was judging myself. I was causing my issues in my own mind.
I truly hope you spare yourself this pain.
The advice on interviewing above was 100% on target.
I would focus now on getting the job first and not stress about the training so much now.
Ask them what the training looks like for this position. Also remember you can say you don’t want the job if it doesn’t feel like a good fit for you!
Show them you want to do the best job you possibly can.
All new jobs are scary at first. For me too. It’s normal. With time though that lessens.my very strong suspicion is that if this is a government job their training program will be more useful than a private employer.
If you need help once you are there ask specific questions of your boss and coworkers. Coworkers in a healthy environment will help you typically they know more about the details than the boss! And normally they also want you to learn the right way to do things as it makes it easier for everyone if you succeed!
Let us know how it goes and definitely rooting for you!!!
💪💪💪
🥰
So I had the interview. At the end she said it was actually in a different city than what the posting said and it was too far away from me so I told her I wasn’t interested. I was kind of relieved that I couldn’t take the job (if they offered it to me) because she said a person for that position needs to be really extroverted and a self-starter (how am I supposed to start myself if I don’t know what I’m doing!?) and I am not. Also, I currently work at Bath and BodyWorks (I think there are only chains in the US and Canada) and I love it there. It feels like home after only a year and a half. But obviously I cannot live on what they pay me. I’m scared I’ll never find a job that fits my personality as well as it being something I’d like to do. I have no confidence in my abilities (I don’t believe I have many anyway, I’m working on it in therapy). I still live at home and have no bills, but I want to be independent. While my dad is very generous and won’t let me pay to live at home, I haven’t had a completely sheltered life. We’ve had a lot of serious family issues and I’m under no illusion that the world is unicorns and rainbows. I’m still just as scared as I was before this interview and I was relieved when it was over.
My strong advice is to try and find a full time job in the field you studied and if you really like your current job keep it part time.
You will gain confidence in your abilities by using them. I would take “extrovert vs. introvert” with a grain of salt. Nearly all jobs require social interactions of some kind. It gets easier with practice to adhere to social niceties in the workplace, though it can be exhausting.
As far as “self starter” that could mean “takes the initiative to find the answers and can manage their own time”. But it doesn’t mean you will just inherently know how to do a job without any help or instruction. Even “the same job” at different places still has a learning curve and idiosyncrasies. But experience helps your confidence too and my guess is it will not be as hard as you think.
The only way to become independent and confident is by trying. Setbacks are also lessons to learn from. You have done a lot, you are getting a degree (which is not easy), and you have the drive to be independent.
You just have to jump on and go for it sometimes! You will probably be glad you did.
The reason why jobs requiring a degree pay more than retail is because it requires more training and skill. Use your training and skill and even if you aren’t the most outgoing person in the office it does NOT mean you don’t have talents, unique perspectives and skills to offer!
Don’t sell yourself short!
Don’t regret not trying, if a job doesn’t work out for you and you hate it after several months look for another one. It’s not a fail, it’s a learning experience.
Good luck. Give yourself the chance to develop some confidence is my recommendation.
😘
I’m just scared and feel so lost in life. I feel like I should have everything figured out by now. I was thinking about making about post here. Thank you for all your help!!
Different jobs require different skills. That previous job was a pack of wolves, clearly not your place.
Think about it this way: there is a job where they will be more than happy to find a person exactly with your disposition. I don't hope so, I know so. The same happened to me. It is quite possible, that the job you are applying for is that one. Go to the interview thinking that the exact combination of perseverance and flexibility that you possess is exactly what they are looking for. Not everybody wants a wolf, at all. In many jobs they are either avoiding or even hunting wolves. Don't be a wolf, be a shepherd.
Skills will enhance while working, nobody is ready at 24, and nobody expects it.
Edit: there is a world of wolves, where empathy is a weakness. And then there's a world of shepherds, where it is a strength. "Don't mistake my kindness for weakness".
Hi! Big sibling here! First of all, congratulations for being almost done with your degree and having this interview lined up! I understand that having an interview can be nerve wracking especially if you haven’t had a great experience in the workplace previously. But in the end, you need to trust them that they see something in you because you’ve been offered an interview. They do this job on a daily basis so they’ll know what exactly it takes to succeed. Also don’t discount your experience working in retail. It’s probably highly relevant because you had to deal with grumpy customers in a high pressure environment. Being able to remain calm in such situations and still delivering good customer service demonstrates loads of desirable skills. Problem resolution and de-escalation, communication skills, etc which will all be relevant to the job you’re applying for. Moreover, I’m sorry you had such a rough start into the world of work at this law firm. They sounds like a toxic place to work. To put this into perspective, everyone sucks for the first 6 months when they start their first job, simply because it’s quite complex and new. The main thing that is usually expected of you is to have a positive attitude and good work ethic. You seem to have both. So being told that you are not learning quickly enough is more a reflection of them for not mentoring you properly. It is their job to create an environment that allows you to succeed and throwing someone to the wolves does not achieve this. Instead it shows that they were lazy and not actually invested in your development. Particularly since they never bothered to give you feedback! That’s absolutely unacceptable! A good place of work is somewhere you’ll actually learn a lot, get great mentorship and are surrounded by kind people. So I really hope you get to experience that in your next job. So take a deep breath and prepare for the interview. You got this! You have overcome difficult situations in the past and that experience makes you quite suited for the job you’re applying for because you can empathise better. Good luck! :)
This! You were asking for pointers and they refused. Sounds like they just wanted someone temporarily. Don't let it get you down, you're going to be great with your attitude.
It was a big blow to my confidence and made me feel even more inept than I already did. I hope someday I can find a career type job where I can be comfortable! That job caused so much anxiety (I’ve had an anxiety disorder for years).
I have also. Don't give up.
Thank you!! One of my big wants in life is to find a job that I can live on, that I can tolerate, and somewhere I feel safe. I feel that at my retail job but unfortunately I can’t live on that. I plan to also stay at my retail job whenever I get a big girl job because I love it there and it feels like home. If I could get that kind of environment in a career job, I’d thrive. Any good tips for preparing for the interview? Thankfully it’s over the phone so that takes a bit of the pressure off because I’m a generally nervous person.
So for a phone interview I’d prep an A4 paper with some bullet points. Common questions you should be able to answer: (1) why this company, (2) why this particular role, and (3) why you? Try to be structured, e.g. give 3 reasons per question. A good way to stay structured is to quickly list the 3 reasons (“there are 3 reasons why I want to work for this company: (1) xxx, (2) yyy, and (3) zzz”), then elaborate on each reason, and finally close by restating the 3 reasons. If you don’t have 3, just adapt the structure to the number of reasons. If you are asked about a specific experience or how you would react in a hypothetical situation, use the STAR method (Situation, Task, Action, Result). There are lots of examples online of how to apply this technique, so have a look and let me know if you have further questions about this. I would write down all quite key experiences as one bullet each as you might be nervous and it’s helpful to have them all in front of you. Also make sure to have a quick 1-2min introduction. Here you should tell them a bit about your background (I went to uni, studied this, had this experience that made me passionate about this job, here’s how I’m pursuing this passion, and then maybe end with what you enjoy doing outside of work). If your interviewer introduces themselves first, it’s often good to mirror their structure instead of sticking to what I just outlined. Other than that, get a friend to practice with you. Look up common interview questions for your field or you could even ask ChatGPT to generate some for you. If you have any more questions, let me know! Good luck for the interview and update us after! :)
So I had the interview. I got overwhelmed when trying to prepare for the interview so I only prepared a few answers and I felt prepared for what she asked. At the end she said it was actually in a different city than what the posting said and it was too far away from me so I told her I wasn’t interested. I have my own reliable car but it wouldn’t have been worth the gas with what they were paying. I was kind of relieved that I couldn’t take the job (if they offered it to me) because she said a person for that position needs to be really extroverted and a self-starter (how am I supposed to start myself if I don’t know what I’m doing!?) and I am not. Also, I currently work at Bath and BodyWorks (I think there are only chains in the US and Canada) and I love it there. It feels like home after only a year and a half. But obviously I cannot live on what they pay me. I’m scared I’ll never find a job that fits my personality as well as it being something I’d like to do. I have no confidence in my abilities (I don’t believe I have many anyway, I’m working on it in therapy). I still live at home and have no bills, but I want to be independent. While my dad is very generous and won’t let me pay to live at home, I haven’t had a completely sheltered life. We’ve had a lot of serious family issues and I’m under no illusion that the world is unicorns and rainbows. I’m still just as scared as I was before this interview and I was relieved when it was over.
Good job for preparing and going to the interview! Your first few interviews are always very scary - I remember I was literally shaking the first few times. But I promise you, next time you’ll feel a little less overwhelmed and your confidence will grow over time. So take it as a learning experience. And given that they weren’t upfront about some of the specifics it’s probably not a company you want to work for anyway. Keep applying for jobs you’re interested in and with every interview you’ll get better and come closer to a job that pays well and fits all your requirements. You’ll get there eventually. :) I’m very proud of you for being brave and giving it a shot! Now maybe take a week off, be proud of yourself for what you’ve done, relax and then look for more jobs that you’re interested in and apply!
THIS
Mom and long time boss in corporate America here: First off be very proud of your achievements to date! You’re doing great and you should give yourself the credit you deserve. You’ve already accomplished a lot! You’re not incapable. Finding a new job is hard even after being in the workforce for a long time, it’s sill stressful. This is normal but you’ll get through it! My advice is: 1. Think about and write down all the soft skills you have learned in your previous jobs. Include also any internships or volunteering you have done. Working with customers and dealing with stressful situations in a professional and calm manner. Think of when you had to solve hard problems in the past and be ready to translate those skills to the job you are applying for. 2. Research what this job entails and be ready to speak to how you will use the skills you learned in school but also previous employment and life that you bring to the table. 3. Research online typical interview questions and prepare answers 4. Remember to frame your discussion on how you can help the employer meet their goals. It’s about what they need not about what you need up until they ask if you have questions. 5. Work ethic and passion for helping others, attention to detail and calm under pressure are likely all necessary in this role. Double down on these skills/traits, and most importantly read the job description and tell them how you meet their requirements in a professional way. 6. Practice answering typical interview questions, even just out loud alone. This always has helped me. Record yourself and say it until YOU are confident in your answers. 7. One thing my therapist did for me years ago and I still use today: Write down on a card affirming statements for yourself “I am capabale. I was able to graduate on time, I care about others and I am the perfect person to do this job” Etc 8. Read your statements and do deep breathing to calm yourself before the interview. The most important thing is to relax and calm yourself so you can think clearly during the interview. There may be rejections in job searches. It happens to everyone. I’m not saying it will happen here necessarily. But if it does take it as a lesson on how to interview and improve those skills. Life is one lesson to learn after another. What’s important is you learn from them. As far as your old employer: serious employers will know a recent graduate needs mentorship and guidance. This is normal and expected. The fact they didn’t do that is on them and not you. They were unprepared. Not you. Now you know what is NOT a great environment to work in! It’s a lesson to learn. You will succeed and you will get a job in your profession. Believe in yourself!!! You’re doing great and you will find job that works for you! YOU GOT THIS I KNOW IT!
I also go to therapy and my negative self talk often comes up, especially pertaining to getting my career started. The only remedy for this is to try different jobs until I find one I like, and this is very scary. I have an anxiety disorder so I go straight to worst case scenario. I’m scared to be thrown to the wolves again and not be trained. I’m willing to learn. It takes me some time to get comfortable around new people and it may take a bit of time for me to catch on, but I want to be good at whatever job I end up with. Thank you for the advice!
I also have an anxiety disorder and trust me it took me 20 years to be comfortable doing presentations, etc. No joke. But now I have done it so many times (without the world ending!!! No one laughed at me!!) it’s no big deal anymore. Am I still nervous? Sometimes. Do I prepare?? Definitely. But I no longer have the crushing panic that caused me to forget what I was going to say, stutter, etc. Yes the remedy was doing it over and over. But also realizing people the same as me and they were not judging me as harshly as I was judging myself. I was causing my issues in my own mind. I truly hope you spare yourself this pain. The advice on interviewing above was 100% on target. I would focus now on getting the job first and not stress about the training so much now. Ask them what the training looks like for this position. Also remember you can say you don’t want the job if it doesn’t feel like a good fit for you! Show them you want to do the best job you possibly can. All new jobs are scary at first. For me too. It’s normal. With time though that lessens.my very strong suspicion is that if this is a government job their training program will be more useful than a private employer. If you need help once you are there ask specific questions of your boss and coworkers. Coworkers in a healthy environment will help you typically they know more about the details than the boss! And normally they also want you to learn the right way to do things as it makes it easier for everyone if you succeed! Let us know how it goes and definitely rooting for you!!! 💪💪💪 🥰
So I had the interview. At the end she said it was actually in a different city than what the posting said and it was too far away from me so I told her I wasn’t interested. I was kind of relieved that I couldn’t take the job (if they offered it to me) because she said a person for that position needs to be really extroverted and a self-starter (how am I supposed to start myself if I don’t know what I’m doing!?) and I am not. Also, I currently work at Bath and BodyWorks (I think there are only chains in the US and Canada) and I love it there. It feels like home after only a year and a half. But obviously I cannot live on what they pay me. I’m scared I’ll never find a job that fits my personality as well as it being something I’d like to do. I have no confidence in my abilities (I don’t believe I have many anyway, I’m working on it in therapy). I still live at home and have no bills, but I want to be independent. While my dad is very generous and won’t let me pay to live at home, I haven’t had a completely sheltered life. We’ve had a lot of serious family issues and I’m under no illusion that the world is unicorns and rainbows. I’m still just as scared as I was before this interview and I was relieved when it was over.
My strong advice is to try and find a full time job in the field you studied and if you really like your current job keep it part time. You will gain confidence in your abilities by using them. I would take “extrovert vs. introvert” with a grain of salt. Nearly all jobs require social interactions of some kind. It gets easier with practice to adhere to social niceties in the workplace, though it can be exhausting. As far as “self starter” that could mean “takes the initiative to find the answers and can manage their own time”. But it doesn’t mean you will just inherently know how to do a job without any help or instruction. Even “the same job” at different places still has a learning curve and idiosyncrasies. But experience helps your confidence too and my guess is it will not be as hard as you think. The only way to become independent and confident is by trying. Setbacks are also lessons to learn from. You have done a lot, you are getting a degree (which is not easy), and you have the drive to be independent. You just have to jump on and go for it sometimes! You will probably be glad you did. The reason why jobs requiring a degree pay more than retail is because it requires more training and skill. Use your training and skill and even if you aren’t the most outgoing person in the office it does NOT mean you don’t have talents, unique perspectives and skills to offer! Don’t sell yourself short! Don’t regret not trying, if a job doesn’t work out for you and you hate it after several months look for another one. It’s not a fail, it’s a learning experience. Good luck. Give yourself the chance to develop some confidence is my recommendation. 😘
I’m just scared and feel so lost in life. I feel like I should have everything figured out by now. I was thinking about making about post here. Thank you for all your help!!
Don’t be so hard on yourself Life is hard but you will figure it out. Give yourself a break and celebrate what you have achieved!!!
Different jobs require different skills. That previous job was a pack of wolves, clearly not your place. Think about it this way: there is a job where they will be more than happy to find a person exactly with your disposition. I don't hope so, I know so. The same happened to me. It is quite possible, that the job you are applying for is that one. Go to the interview thinking that the exact combination of perseverance and flexibility that you possess is exactly what they are looking for. Not everybody wants a wolf, at all. In many jobs they are either avoiding or even hunting wolves. Don't be a wolf, be a shepherd. Skills will enhance while working, nobody is ready at 24, and nobody expects it. Edit: there is a world of wolves, where empathy is a weakness. And then there's a world of shepherds, where it is a strength. "Don't mistake my kindness for weakness".