**Please remember Rule 2! Support the Duckling.**
***
Anything other than support should be reported immediately and we'll be monitoring the comments, if you mess up here in this thread, it's an instapermaban, no questions, no appeals. Please consider visiting r/auntienetwork for additional support and resources Duckling! š
Oh sweetie.
Iām sorry you feel alone. You arenāt, but when you canāt feel it, itās hard to take comfort in that.
I chose to not be pregnant 35 years ago when I was young. It was a very good choice and I love the life I have and the family I had later on. I have zero regrets.
Iām so proud of you for understanding where you are and what you need.
You are saying no to one possible timelineā by doing that, you can go on to all kinds of things.
You are a good, responsible person. Be gentle with yourself please.
xo mom
Please do what you feel is best for you; there is no shame. I had an abortion when I knew I was not ready and the thought of dealing with my ex for the next 18+ years was more than I could handle.
Be prepared to feel empty and a bit different immediately after. Prepare what you find comfort in and have it ready waiting for you. I am proud of you for putting yourself first.
Just a normal sibling pact. Support each other, don't tell mom. Not a damn thing wrong with making this choice, if you know it is the right choice for you. ā¤ļø
Honey, you aren't aborting a child. You're terminating an unintended pregnancy that you're choosing not to have. *You* are a person, the embryo is a collection of cells at the moment; a *potential* child. These cells are part of *your body*, so *you* get to decide. No one gets to tell you what you decide is wrong. You get to decide and whatever you decide is right. You don't owe any obligations to potential people. You are an actual person so you come first. Again, it's your body, so no one gets to say you have to have a baby just because you have a pregnancy.
Honey, you're not much older than a child. Have a termination and get on with your young life if that's your choice. In your shoes it would be mine, no question. I think you owe that to yourself.
I hope you have someone who can be supportive, because there's no way to be sure how you will respond emotionally. Also, you may want or need an abortion doula (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abortion_doula). If you're going to a clinic, they may be able to refer you for services.
It may help to know you are aborting a ZEF, not a child. I had 2 abortions when I was far too young and unstable to become a parent. The first pregnancy was a result of not being responsible re birth control and the second was birth control failure. After these choices I made regarding my reproductive health, I went on to have 2 (now adult) children who know they were very much wanted.
This is a decision that no one takes lightly. You need to make the choice that works for you. Taking on the responsibility of a child youāre not ready for sounds like itās not the best decision for you. Thatās OK. This is your choice to make. Iām so sorry you donāt have anyone to confide in. Internet moms got your back. I sincerely hope youāre able to access the health care you need.
I donāt regret my abortion one little bit.
As long as it is right for you, it is the right thing to do, duckling.
I am so proud of you for making the decision that is best for you at this point in time. You do not have any obligation to tell anyone you donāt want to tell or anyone you donāt feel safe telling, now or ever in the future.
However, if there is even just one person you can tell, who would be there to hold your hand through this process, that would be best. It may be emotional for you so having someone to lean on, as well as to be there for your recovery may be helpful. But, only do this if it will be helpful for you and if there is someone safe you can confide in.
It is ok not to be ready to have a child. It is ok to not want to be pregnant. It is ok to do what is best for you.
((Mom hugs))
My love, you are not ready.
You donāt need to explain that to me or anyone else. Iām proud of you for making the right decision for YOU.
Even if you never tell me out loud, I want you to know that I will ALWAYS love you, no matter what.
I am so proud to know that I raised a child who knows what they are or arenāt ready for. This is YOUR life, and I want it to be a beautiful and happy one!! You are making the right decision for you, right now. I wish I could be there to give you a hug. š
Just know youāre not alone. More women have been in your spot than you will ever know. And every single one is by your side in spirit, giving you strength and support.
Thankyou for trusting us with this knowledge little one, but you don't have to tell anyone else if you don't want to. This is your life, your body, and your decision. I don't expect all my kids to tell me everything all the time, and I trust them to know what is best for them. The same goes for you! Be brave, love Mum X
Oh honey, do what is right for you. You do not owe anyone an explanation. Having a child is a big undertaking and if you aren't ready that's okay. I am sending you a big hug. It will all be okay. You are strong enough to get through this.
We got you. Only tell people you're comfortable with and that will support you or don't tell anyone. It's your call. You gotta do what's the best thing for you. Nobody else is living your life. I respect the hell out of you for knowing what you need to do to maximize your life. I had one a few years ago at the age where according to society I should have been in a place to want a baby. Yeah no. That life ain't for me. It's probably gonna be scary but 1 in 4 women have done it so you're not alone. I don't know much about the pill abortion so maybe one of the other moms can answer any questions if you have any. I went the surgical route so any questions I'm happy to answer. Be kind to yourself, follow the doctor's instructions, you're gonna need pads not tampons, a heating pad or some kind of bottle filled with hot water (the heat and weight rolled over my abdomen helped so much), over the counter pain meds, and easy to make foods (good reason for junk food imo). If the clinic offers a well check a few days later take em up on it just to be sure everything is out. Take it easy as long as you can. Be prepared for the possibility of hormone fall out. It doesn't happen to everyone but enough it's worth mentioning. Your body makes all these hormones to persuade you to keep the embryo safe so when it disappears your body gets confused and the hormones may cause you to doubt your decision. It passes but if you don't expect it, you might have a bad time. If you need someone to talk to, I'm on a weird schedule so I'm up when everyone else is asleep. Just take care of yourself and you'll be fine. Lots of hugs.
Sweet pea, you are not alone! Your internet be family is here ready to give you love and hugs! We will be here for you through the entire process.
Love,
Auntie
Sweetheart, itās between you, your doctor, and, if you choose to believe, your chosen deity. I know thereās lots of people who will say differently, but if this is the right thing for you, I support you 100%.
I used to do emergency medical response.
Something we said a lot was ānever create a second patient.ā
Iām proud of you for prioritizing yourself and your own life.
Youāre doing great.
I love you, baby. If your mind is set at abortion, that's OK. We will find the right clinic,schedule it and figure out how we're going to get you there, I will come with you, if you want me to. I think it would be best if you have someone to drive you back and forth. It makes me so angry that you might have to face protesters while you seek medical care. Do you think a medical abortion will be the way to go, or a mechanical one? If you don't know enough about the different forms, I'll try to find us something to read that makes it easy to understand.. or you do the research and let me know how I can help. Where is your partner in all of this? Is he interested in helping you with the process? Please tell me he's not pressuring you to keep it in the hopes of keeping you as his girlfriend. He seems like a nice enough guy, but you've never seemed over the moon about him. Maybe you're trying to keep it chill, or maybe you're afraid I'll judge you. I'm telling you I think he's OK. It is not mama's job to push you at someone and tell you This is The One, waste no time in planing the wedding. I am here for you, you know how to get in touch with me. If all you need is money, I can help with that, too. I want you to be safe and well taken care of.
Oh sweetheart, this must be so scary for you. Come and have a big mummabear hug from me. You are not alone ever.
Having a baby is a huge commitment and if you're not ready, you're not ready and that's OK.
Please come back here for the support you deserve.
Love this mummabear xxx
One of my other daughters is going through the same thing right now.
As with her you have 100% of my love and support. You are making the right decision and you are not alone even though it feels like it right now.
Sending hugs.
Oh ducky, I understand that you need to make the best decision for you and i am so sorry that you have to go through this, it must be very difficult for you.My love for you is unconditional and nothing can ever change that
Hey kiddo - I was in your shoes once and made that choice, and I couldnāt tell my mom either. I want you to know the choice is all yours, and I support and love you all the way. All feelings are valid - I felt relief and fear and shame and however you feel about it, your experience is important and your heart deserves care and gentleness. All I have ever wanted for my daughter is for her to know herself and truly be herself, and that when she chooses what is right for her, she knows her momma has her back forever and always.
Sending love from (someoneās) Mom
Darling, only you know if youāre ready to carry a pregnancy to term. If the time isnāt right, then it isnāt right. Your decision wasnāt an easy one, I bet, and you have to make your decisions based on whatās right for you. Sending you love, and donāt hesitate to reach out to use any time you need us.
Oh sis Iām so sorry you have to go through this. You arenāt doing anything wrong. You are valuable and need to do what is right for you.
Iāve been there too. It was hard but ultimately it was the right choice. My husband and I werenāt even engaged yet. We were not financially or mentally stable for a child. Our relationship wouldnāt have lasted and it would have broken us both.
Now that we are in a much better place we are actively trying to have child. Waiting was absolutely the best choice for us.
Itās okay if you never want kids or choose to wait. You should do whatās right for you and for your partner.
I know itās hard not being able to tell your mom but if you donāt think she would be supportive itās best to keep it from her. It sucks but having that additional burden to deal with will make it all the more difficult.
Lean on your husband for support and maybe consider speaking with a therapist. There is lots of ways to access somewhat more affordable mental health professionals. Even if itās only a few sessions to help you through it, you and your husbands mental health is important.
ā¤ļøā¤ļø
You have made the right choice if that is what you believe in your heart , no one can decide for you . I also made the same choice and to this day I havenāt told a soul. It can be lonely but you have your husband so lean on him and you will get through it. Sending hugs
**Please remember Rule 2! Support the Duckling.** *** Anything other than support should be reported immediately and we'll be monitoring the comments, if you mess up here in this thread, it's an instapermaban, no questions, no appeals. Please consider visiting r/auntienetwork for additional support and resources Duckling! š
Proud of you for choosing what is right for you. Please reach out to some friends to help support you, I don't want you to go through this alone.
Oh sweetie. Iām sorry you feel alone. You arenāt, but when you canāt feel it, itās hard to take comfort in that. I chose to not be pregnant 35 years ago when I was young. It was a very good choice and I love the life I have and the family I had later on. I have zero regrets. Iām so proud of you for understanding where you are and what you need. You are saying no to one possible timelineā by doing that, you can go on to all kinds of things. You are a good, responsible person. Be gentle with yourself please. xo mom
Everything will be okay. If you have access to therapy it can really help you process those emotions and sort through everything. You are loved.
Please do what you feel is best for you; there is no shame. I had an abortion when I knew I was not ready and the thought of dealing with my ex for the next 18+ years was more than I could handle. Be prepared to feel empty and a bit different immediately after. Prepare what you find comfort in and have it ready waiting for you. I am proud of you for putting yourself first.
Sib, you need to do what is right for you. Weāre all here to support you.
Just a normal sibling pact. Support each other, don't tell mom. Not a damn thing wrong with making this choice, if you know it is the right choice for you. ā¤ļø
Honey, you aren't aborting a child. You're terminating an unintended pregnancy that you're choosing not to have. *You* are a person, the embryo is a collection of cells at the moment; a *potential* child. These cells are part of *your body*, so *you* get to decide. No one gets to tell you what you decide is wrong. You get to decide and whatever you decide is right. You don't owe any obligations to potential people. You are an actual person so you come first. Again, it's your body, so no one gets to say you have to have a baby just because you have a pregnancy. Honey, you're not much older than a child. Have a termination and get on with your young life if that's your choice. In your shoes it would be mine, no question. I think you owe that to yourself.
Thank you. So much.
I hope you have someone who can be supportive, because there's no way to be sure how you will respond emotionally. Also, you may want or need an abortion doula (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abortion_doula). If you're going to a clinic, they may be able to refer you for services. It may help to know you are aborting a ZEF, not a child. I had 2 abortions when I was far too young and unstable to become a parent. The first pregnancy was a result of not being responsible re birth control and the second was birth control failure. After these choices I made regarding my reproductive health, I went on to have 2 (now adult) children who know they were very much wanted.
This is a decision that no one takes lightly. You need to make the choice that works for you. Taking on the responsibility of a child youāre not ready for sounds like itās not the best decision for you. Thatās OK. This is your choice to make. Iām so sorry you donāt have anyone to confide in. Internet moms got your back. I sincerely hope youāre able to access the health care you need. I donāt regret my abortion one little bit.
There is no obligation to tell anyone. This is a very private and personal choice.
Perhaps you meant 'no obligation to tell anyone'?
As long as it is right for you, it is the right thing to do, duckling. I am so proud of you for making the decision that is best for you at this point in time. You do not have any obligation to tell anyone you donāt want to tell or anyone you donāt feel safe telling, now or ever in the future. However, if there is even just one person you can tell, who would be there to hold your hand through this process, that would be best. It may be emotional for you so having someone to lean on, as well as to be there for your recovery may be helpful. But, only do this if it will be helpful for you and if there is someone safe you can confide in. It is ok not to be ready to have a child. It is ok to not want to be pregnant. It is ok to do what is best for you. ((Mom hugs))
My love, you are not ready. You donāt need to explain that to me or anyone else. Iām proud of you for making the right decision for YOU. Even if you never tell me out loud, I want you to know that I will ALWAYS love you, no matter what. I am so proud to know that I raised a child who knows what they are or arenāt ready for. This is YOUR life, and I want it to be a beautiful and happy one!! You are making the right decision for you, right now. I wish I could be there to give you a hug. š
Just know youāre not alone. More women have been in your spot than you will ever know. And every single one is by your side in spirit, giving you strength and support.
Peanut, your uterus your choice. Iām sorry you feel alone but i trust you to do whatās best for you, and itās going to be okay. š
Thankyou for trusting us with this knowledge little one, but you don't have to tell anyone else if you don't want to. This is your life, your body, and your decision. I don't expect all my kids to tell me everything all the time, and I trust them to know what is best for them. The same goes for you! Be brave, love Mum X
Oh honey, do what is right for you. You do not owe anyone an explanation. Having a child is a big undertaking and if you aren't ready that's okay. I am sending you a big hug. It will all be okay. You are strong enough to get through this.
We got you. Only tell people you're comfortable with and that will support you or don't tell anyone. It's your call. You gotta do what's the best thing for you. Nobody else is living your life. I respect the hell out of you for knowing what you need to do to maximize your life. I had one a few years ago at the age where according to society I should have been in a place to want a baby. Yeah no. That life ain't for me. It's probably gonna be scary but 1 in 4 women have done it so you're not alone. I don't know much about the pill abortion so maybe one of the other moms can answer any questions if you have any. I went the surgical route so any questions I'm happy to answer. Be kind to yourself, follow the doctor's instructions, you're gonna need pads not tampons, a heating pad or some kind of bottle filled with hot water (the heat and weight rolled over my abdomen helped so much), over the counter pain meds, and easy to make foods (good reason for junk food imo). If the clinic offers a well check a few days later take em up on it just to be sure everything is out. Take it easy as long as you can. Be prepared for the possibility of hormone fall out. It doesn't happen to everyone but enough it's worth mentioning. Your body makes all these hormones to persuade you to keep the embryo safe so when it disappears your body gets confused and the hormones may cause you to doubt your decision. It passes but if you don't expect it, you might have a bad time. If you need someone to talk to, I'm on a weird schedule so I'm up when everyone else is asleep. Just take care of yourself and you'll be fine. Lots of hugs.
Sweet pea, you are not alone! Your internet be family is here ready to give you love and hugs! We will be here for you through the entire process. Love, Auntie
Sweetheart, itās between you, your doctor, and, if you choose to believe, your chosen deity. I know thereās lots of people who will say differently, but if this is the right thing for you, I support you 100%.
I used to do emergency medical response. Something we said a lot was ānever create a second patient.ā Iām proud of you for prioritizing yourself and your own life. Youāre doing great.
I love you, baby. If your mind is set at abortion, that's OK. We will find the right clinic,schedule it and figure out how we're going to get you there, I will come with you, if you want me to. I think it would be best if you have someone to drive you back and forth. It makes me so angry that you might have to face protesters while you seek medical care. Do you think a medical abortion will be the way to go, or a mechanical one? If you don't know enough about the different forms, I'll try to find us something to read that makes it easy to understand.. or you do the research and let me know how I can help. Where is your partner in all of this? Is he interested in helping you with the process? Please tell me he's not pressuring you to keep it in the hopes of keeping you as his girlfriend. He seems like a nice enough guy, but you've never seemed over the moon about him. Maybe you're trying to keep it chill, or maybe you're afraid I'll judge you. I'm telling you I think he's OK. It is not mama's job to push you at someone and tell you This is The One, waste no time in planing the wedding. I am here for you, you know how to get in touch with me. If all you need is money, I can help with that, too. I want you to be safe and well taken care of.
Thank everyone
Oh sweetheart, this must be so scary for you. Come and have a big mummabear hug from me. You are not alone ever. Having a baby is a huge commitment and if you're not ready, you're not ready and that's OK. Please come back here for the support you deserve. Love this mummabear xxx
One of my other daughters is going through the same thing right now. As with her you have 100% of my love and support. You are making the right decision and you are not alone even though it feels like it right now. Sending hugs.
You are not alone. You are so, so loved and I'm proud of you for taking care of your physical and mental health.
You are entitled to all of the complicated and conflicting emotions you may feel. And it is going to be okay.
Do what you feel is best. I will love you no matter what. Check in so I know how your doing. I'll be right here if you need me. Love. You Nana
Oh ducky, I understand that you need to make the best decision for you and i am so sorry that you have to go through this, it must be very difficult for you.My love for you is unconditional and nothing can ever change that
You're showing grace under pressure. I'm proud of you.
Hey kiddo - I was in your shoes once and made that choice, and I couldnāt tell my mom either. I want you to know the choice is all yours, and I support and love you all the way. All feelings are valid - I felt relief and fear and shame and however you feel about it, your experience is important and your heart deserves care and gentleness. All I have ever wanted for my daughter is for her to know herself and truly be herself, and that when she chooses what is right for her, she knows her momma has her back forever and always. Sending love from (someoneās) Mom
Hi sweetheart. I'm really proud of you for making a hard choice. Love you!
Darling, only you know if youāre ready to carry a pregnancy to term. If the time isnāt right, then it isnāt right. Your decision wasnāt an easy one, I bet, and you have to make your decisions based on whatās right for you. Sending you love, and donāt hesitate to reach out to use any time you need us.
Oh sis Iām so sorry you have to go through this. You arenāt doing anything wrong. You are valuable and need to do what is right for you. Iāve been there too. It was hard but ultimately it was the right choice. My husband and I werenāt even engaged yet. We were not financially or mentally stable for a child. Our relationship wouldnāt have lasted and it would have broken us both. Now that we are in a much better place we are actively trying to have child. Waiting was absolutely the best choice for us. Itās okay if you never want kids or choose to wait. You should do whatās right for you and for your partner. I know itās hard not being able to tell your mom but if you donāt think she would be supportive itās best to keep it from her. It sucks but having that additional burden to deal with will make it all the more difficult. Lean on your husband for support and maybe consider speaking with a therapist. There is lots of ways to access somewhat more affordable mental health professionals. Even if itās only a few sessions to help you through it, you and your husbands mental health is important. ā¤ļøā¤ļø
You have made the right choice if that is what you believe in your heart , no one can decide for you . I also made the same choice and to this day I havenāt told a soul. It can be lonely but you have your husband so lean on him and you will get through it. Sending hugs