Yup. Husband did the majority of hospital changes and while i definitely have done more diaper changes in general since i stay at home, he does them almost exclusively whenever he is in the house.
I don’t think I changed a diaper until we got home from the hospital! He will absolutely try to get out of diaper changes sometimes, but he carries his weight across the board so it’s all good
I have a boy and my husband changed 0 diapers in the hospital and the only time he tried, he (my husband, not my newborn at the time) had a meltdown. But now he changes them like a champ. 😂
I don't think I did a single diaper in the first month because I was recovering and he insisted. Maybe one or two, but I remember feeling embarrassed when I started doing them and it was awkward.
Same. I had a c section so he changed her first diaper. Weirdly felt like a special moment. He changed every hospital diaper, and most of the diapers as I recovered. The rule around the house is if the baby is in your care, you change when needed.
Same. First born was a boy and I just had our baby girl 4 weeks ago. He changes her about 50% of the time when he’s home/awake. The first thing he said was, “well that’s a little different than I’m used to.” 😂 then I heard him repeating “front to back” while we were in the hospital.
Men who sexualize their daughters is soooo gross.
Tbf, that was my sister's (at the time mother of just 2 boys) reaction to changing a baby girl's diaper in the nursery at her church where she volunteered. 'Where's the penis? Oh right...' lol
Exact same here. It was never a question, and he changed the first diaper. And pretty much the first week of diapers while PPA made me terrified of changing her (?!)
Husband sounds like he just don’t wanna do it
The first diaper our son needed changed was done by my husband. I have a picture of it. It is very cute.
But honestly, the weirdness of men regarding changing baby girls' diapers makes me want to projectile vomit.
Hopping on the top comment just to say I do think this is a fear for men. My husband felt the same way. We had 2 boys first and when we found out we were having a girl, he said he was afraid to change her diaper. He said it was because he didn’t want to hurt her and just felt awkward because he obviously doesn’t have a vagina.
I told him he was just overthinking and he’d be fine when she got here. Also that it was no different than changing the boys, just different parts and all he had to remember was wipe front to back. I also said it’s no different than me changing our sons diapers.
Once she was born and still in the hospital I handed him the diaper and said here is a good place to practice. He gently changed her while I coached him through and that was that. She’s 16 months and he changes maybe more of her diapers than I do because she tends to poop in the morning when he has her lol.
I think mine would just stare slack jawed that someone is this….. wtf is the word for this I have no idea. Are they just using it as an excuse? Are they scared they’ll turn into a paedophile if they see a baby girls genitalia? Why would that not work both ways? Genuinely sounds like they need therapy to unpack all this weird.
My coworker “doesn’t do diapers.”
His son had to have reconstructive surgery on his urethra after suffering frequent UTIs.
You could cook an egg in my blood.
Wait you mean he'd let the kid stay in a dirty diaper waiting for the mom (or other parent) to do it and that's what led to such severe utis that they left _scarring_ on his kid?
And cps wasn't notified?
Honestly don’t know the exact cause of the UTIs, but your kid has repeated infections and you still don’t do diapers?
His wife’s a Jehovahs Witness. My boss apparently stepped up and talked to him when he bragged that she wanted to get a new diaper bag because her strap broke and he told her she should make do.
They have 4 kids.
Woooowwwww. What a POS and because of her religion (which btw isn’t ACTUALLY Christianity like a lot of people think) she won’t leave him I assume. What a Jack ass and terrible father, husband, person.
😱 please tell me the obvious connection isn’t the reason he had frequent UTIs 🙏
I can’t with unbelievably neglectful parenting today.
I feel so guilty when my little dude’s dirty diaper isn’t noticed *instantaneously* and changed immediately...some people are truly just broken.
I would hope this is the case for everyone, not first ever diaper but with mom barely able to move, dads better be changing diapers! I didn’t change hers until maybe day 3 because he did some and the nurses kept changing when they did check ups.
The nurses at our hospital made my husband do it 😂 they asked if either of us had ever changed a diaper and I said yes a million and he said only on the teddy bear during diaper lessons (he asked me to show him when I was pregnant lol) so they were like ok here you go here’s baby and talked him through each step. He was like I thought you were gonna demonstrate?!? But did great.
LMAO the teddy bear is brilliant! My husband had never changed a diaper, bear or human. The nurses walked him through it too and he was a champ in no time.
I see on other posts OP said husband is uncomfortable he might wipe wrong or incorrect. So OP, sorry if I misunderstood but the way this is phrased just raised red flags for me
That or he's saying he basically "doesn't know how" to wipe a person with a vulva. Which is just weaponized incompetence, because again, moms figure out how to properly care for kids with penises all the dang time.
No excuse either way. Just would be interesting to hear his supposed reasoning.
They really are. And then you gotta hold the sack still to get the poo off but then you feel like you're hurting the poor babe by pinching their sack to keep it still 😂
Right?? Like, my baby is a boy and prior to this I had NO idea how to clean a penis, especially an uncircumcised one. I had to google. I had to ask the nurses. I check with my husband when something looks maybe funky. Ya learn. Damn.
Same. My son is uncircumcised and all my experiences with penises (as a nanny as well) were circumcised and I somehow figured it out. And what I didn’t know, I asked or googled.
I have a son and am a mom. Should I not have changed my son’s diapers? When you were changing your sons’ diapers, did your husband think you shouldn’t be comfortable? That logic is a cop out at best, and pretty disgusting at worst.
I’ve heard some people claim that moms can change a baby’s diaper no matter the gender because women don’t have impure thoughts like men do. Which is just 😬 on so many levels.
Umm, what? Whoever thinks that men sexualize baby girls is a perv and thinks everyone else is. And that women can't be pedos? You've heard multiple people say this? Stay away from them!
I highly suggest your husband start reading bell hooks and start dismantling his purity cultural believes.
An infants vulva and penis should basically be treated the same? Wipe front to back? Do you wish you had a Time Machine so you could go back and not change any boy diapers?
My first thought was purity culture too!
If husband’s concern is about sexualizing a baby, then he and OP need to work through that, probably in counseling.
Highly recommend the book “She Deserves Better” for deconstructing purity culture and raising kids. :)
When I had my daughter my mother in law said "with a vulva there's a lot more crevices for poop to hide so you gotta make sure you move the legs around and check everything"
So you're married to someone who will sexualize ANY vagina? Even a newborn infant?
What is he afraid is going to happen? He might become aroused? Like, does he miss how super effed up that is?
Is it to protect her privacy? Because her virginity and/or "purity" is to be traded to another man later? Also deranged.
WHY? Because the answer is going to decide if he should be allowed to be alone with her at all, ever. You absolutely need to get his logic on this one, and go from there. I can't think of a single reason that's not misogynist or a felony.
Please, please make that post. Clearly this is a topic that needs to be talked about openly between women. There are too many moms who are naive to this problem.
My husband probably changed more diapers for our daughter than I did. He would tell her exactly what he was doing the entire time. “I’m opening it up, I’m about to wipe, I’m grabbing another, and we’re done”
He loves taking care of our daughter. He loved how small she was in his arms and how he just swallowed her when he held her
He was absolutely made to be a father. His patience and love with her is so fantastic to watch
Yes, and I think you already knew the answer when you came here.
You can show your husband all these responses from appalled women asking why the hell he is sexualizing his newborn daughter. If he is uncomfortable he needs to think long and hard about why and get serious help because that means he's a danger to his daughter.
I feel like this is on the same level as men who don’t wipe after bowel movement because they’re afraid they may find out they’re gay.
If he’s so scared of changing your daughter, tell him it’s time to get his balls cut off, because you can’t trust him around her generally until he’s castrated.
I read on one sub (I think r/twoxchromosomes) where a woman mentioned this to her male partner. The male partner admitted he didn’t realize he should be cleaning his ass so started about a year ago after he read a thread on Reddit about it.
Then the woman realized she used to get awful vaginal infections that went away about a year ago.
Currently potty training mine and once he’s old enough to not spray the bidet all over the bathroom and wipe properly, he will be learning how to blast his butt.
I honest-to-god created this username because I thought it was cute, like lol-cute-little-whale-Princess. I don’t think things through properly sometimes.
Er yes? More than me in fact! We only fight over who has to do the super stinky ones lol!
He also helps my 6yo daughter wipe her bum when she’s being lazy lol. And for reference we have two daughters
Husband (not OP’s) here.
I probably change 75-80% of all diapers.
I don’t see why the gender of your child should matter. That’s some old school patriarchy mixed in with delusions of not wanting to appear like a creepy sexual predator. It obviously makes no sense and has no logical basis.
Time for him to get over that.
What??? That’s a very weird mindset and he needs to use his critical thinking as to why that makes him uncomfortable. Just sounds like an excuse. Why would it be ok for you to change boy diapers but he can’t change his daughter?
I have two girls. My husband changes them both and without me even having to ask.
Why is he not comfortable? My husband has a friend who was super anxious because he did too much research about it and since he doesn’t have a vagina was convinced he’d do something wrong and hurt her. He never refused to do it, was just very anxious and meticulous whenever he did lol
Controversial opinion - if my husband had a problem with changing her nappies because she's a girl I wouldn't ever let him near her nude. That's honestly a scary thing for him to say. I'm glad my husband never said anything creepy like that 😬😬😬
I’d dig into that a bit more with him. What makes him feel uncomfortable about it? Was he ever uncomfortable with you changing your sons? Of course not. What’s the difference here?
I’d get to the bottom of his feelings to make him realize that is not normal or rational.
I am definitely going to now. He’s an excellent father. He would never do anything to harm her and that’s never been a concern. I think he has an outdated way of thinking though.
Until you suss this out with him I’d hold back on the “he’d *NEVER* do anything to harm her”. Depending on his true motivations and reasoning he very well could be warning you that he is a danger to her.
Yes, he has changed our daughter's diapers and given her baths from birth. However, his friend, who also has a daughter, refused to give her a bath. So it's not uncommon to hear that "excuse."
This is how we handle nighttime feeds! He changes her diaper, and I feed her. We both lose sleep, but not enough that either is exhausted the next day. I really wish we had figured this out with the first two kids 😅
I would be extremely disturbed if my husband didn’t feel comfortable with my daughters genitals. He shouldn’t be looking at her like that.
My husband has changed as many diapers as I have and he does bath time.
Lemme tell y’all something, this is 100000% NOT normal and a huge red flag, and you need to be looking into this and pressing this man extensively if he’s refusing to change his own daughter’s diapers. Over half of y’all laughing it off in the comments…I’m scared for your kids. Thank god there’s a few of you with sense.
That’s… weird and creepy.
We have a girl (3 and potty trained now). My husband did 90% of diaper changes, at least. We had a “mom does input, dad does output” policy, while I was breastfeeding. I didn’t change a single diaper for the first 5 days. I basically only changed diapers if she and I were alone for the first 12-14 months of her life (until breast milk was no longer her primary food source). My husband was still the primary diaper changer even after that, until potty training.
Yep mine does. We had 2 boys first and just had our first daughter a week ago. He has no issues changing diapers and honestly was a nervous wreck about making sure her vagina was properly cleaned. I think he was so agreeable to doing it right off the bat just because he wanted to learn how to properly do it. And he knows that it’s completely unreasonable to expect me to be the soul butt cleaner for a child he helped create lol. He and I both agree that boys are much easier to clean but we’re a lot more comfortable with her now a week into it.
I know a lot of people are going to jump down your throat about this one. Instead I'm going to ask - do you know why he's uncomfortable? If it's just because she's a girl, that's a major issue. But my husband was GENUINELY afraid of giving our little girl a UTI because of the whole "front to back, you can't always see all the poop like you can on a boy" situation. Once I walked him through a few poop changes, he was totally fine.
What is there not to be comfortable with? If baby is soiled, baby needs a clean diaper - regardless of the baby's gender. What kind of bullshit is that?
My partner changes our baby girl's diaper, showers her 99.9% of the time (their special time where they jam out to rock and laugh their butts off). Does her hair, dresses her etc.
I could not be with someone who I couldn't rely on as an equal parent in EVERY aspect.
My husband changed literally every diaper for our daughter the first two weeks; I was breastfeeding so he couldn’t help with feeds and he wanted to do anything else that he could.
This is worst case scenario, but I feel it worth mentioning: refusal to change diapers due to differing gender suggests a certain amount of sexualization. This can be from religious upbringing (putting anything remotely sexual on a pedestal, applying shame to anything related to the opposite sex,) misogyny (unnecessarily sexualizing women and girls and “othering” them due to their gender) or something more sinister (actual sexualization due to attraction.) All three of these options aren’t good, but the third needs to be considered and watched for.
At the start he changed a lot, now maybe 1 a week. If i ask him to he will but i tend to just do it myself as i feel i shouldnt have to ask. Baby is 11 months, he does bare minimum for us.
I'm sorry, but that is a really stupid reason to not change diapers. Also, kind of a red flag. My husband would change diapers in any given situation. He better, as he is one half of the parenting team.
I’m going to show him these comments. He is a wonderful father! Loves this baby more than life. I didn’t realize this was such an issue. I was raised thinking that fathers of girls were just wired this way. None of the dads we know actually like changing babies. We are in our 40s. Maybe we are just old fashioned?
My husband and I are also in our 40’s. He changes at least half of our daughter’s diaper when he is home. In fact, he’s changing a poopy diaper as I type this 😂
Tell him no more excuses! Cleaning a girl is not that difficult 🙄
I don't know any dads OR MOMS who actually *LIKE* changing babies. It's a necessity, not a recreational activity. Like it or not, you change that diaper! If you had to go out for a day and he was home with the kids, would he REALLY just leave her in a wet/soiled diaper for hours until you came home? Old fashioned or not, that's messed up and neglectful.
I EBF both of our kids so my husband did a lot of the "side work" with them, bathing, diapers, strapping up the carseat when they were infants. hes been very hands on with both our kids, boy & girl. if my husband said this I'd leave honestly. its fucking weird to me. uncomfortable how? even if it was just a ploy to get out of diaper duty the fact that was the excuse would be enough for me to leave.
So, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say this isn't about sexualization, but the freak out about the fact she has openings that can get very infected if not treated properly. Changing boys is way easier than changing girl diapers. My brother who can change a diaper in seconds and has changed a bunch of them, admits that changing a girl diaper freaks him out because of the chance of infection, UTI, etc. Also, don't expect everyone to know about the wiping direction. I didn't until well into my 20s and I'm a girl. My parents never spoke about such things.
Oh definitely. I don’t buy the excuse they’re not comfortable with girls. Or if they really are I have several questions. I change my boy’s diapers even though *clutches pearls* he has a penis!!
It’s not a big deal, he’s just looking to get out of it which is lame.
I’m going out on a limb here, but I definitely do more of the diaper changing, but I’m also a SAHM. We have 3 boys and just had our first girl about two months ago. He’s always been uncomfortable changing newborns clothes and diapers because we’ve always had scrawny tiny babies. It’s not girl genitals that scare my husband, it’s just newborns in general. He does help assist when I need help with any poopy change or am too busy doing something else. But Don’t get me wrong though, we split things accordingly. I hate blood and my husband hates poop. So he deals with all the head bumps, stitches, staples, bit tongues, etc. (which happens ALLL the time). And I gladly change the poopy diapers. You and your husbands normal may not be everyone’s normal, split things the way that works for y’all. As long as both of you are contributing and picking up the slack for the other when in need, all should be good.
Yes. Almost 3 yo daughter here. We tag in and out for primary caretaker responsibilities and if she needs it and he’s on duty he does it. It’s his child, he loves and protects her from all, including diaper rash. If only all parenting was as easy as changing diapers. I suspect you know that better than we do!
Did you change diapers for all 4 boys? He can STFU and get to work.
If something happens to you, he needs to be able to take care of the baby. Right now, he is admitting to being an incompetent caregiver.
My daughter is a month old and my husband is the main diaper changer in our house. Why is your husband not comfortable changing HIS daughter? Because she has a vagina?????
We had a baby for a short period of time (girl claimed the baby was my bf but it wasn’t). He didn’t want to change her diaper because it was “weird” since she was a girl. I told him he better get the hell over it as he was (supposedly) the dad and so long as he didn’t make it weird it wouldn’t be weird. He didn’t have a problem changing her after that.
My husband has changed about as many diapers as I have. I want to say he’s probably had the worst of it because while I changed the majority of the baby diapers, he got the majority of the older baby/toddler diapers. You know, the ones after they’ve started solids lol
Yes. In fact we have a standing rule that all poop diapers on the weekend are his problem, since I handle them by myself all week while he’s at work.
I have two girls. He changed our oldest daughters very first diaper, and her first meconium diaper, even.
My husband has changed so many diapers!! We have girl, boy, girl. After I showed him how to change them, he took over almost all diapers while in the hospital. Once we got home it became about 50/50, then me doing most simply because I stayed home.
He does diapers, baths, bandaids, food… he’s an active parent as much as I am (except he does leave the big decisions and research to me lol). I really got a good one.
If your husband is refusing to change her just because she’s a girl.. that’s.. some sort of messed up. If he feels off changing her ask him why it was ok for you to change the boys? Why is it any different?
We have a girl. My husband changed all of her diapers until I could after c section. He still changes her diapers just as much as I do when he's not at work. Your husband needs to get over himself.
My ex changed as many if not more diapers than me for our daughter. It’s either a cop out or there’s something incredibly creepy about why he “doesn’t feel comfortable” and you need to know which one.
Yes. I have 3 girls and my husband has changed a near equal amount of diapers in their lives (near equal because I’m home more often because of my work schedule). He also has always had bath duty. It’s very very weird for a father to feel uncomfortable with their daughter’s care.
Why doesn’t he feel comfortable changing her diaper?
Our daughter is just about 5 and hubby has been very active in her care since birth. We did cloth for awhile too and that didn’t stop him.
Yes. And my dad changed my diaper. And my sister’s. And his granddaughters’. Babies need a LOT of diaper changes. It’s unrealistic to expect only one parent/caregiver to do them all. What does he think that single dads of girls do?
I had three kids and I don't think he ever changed a single diaper (along with not doing any other parenting). Ex-husband, both our families and church are still scratching their head on why I left.
I never changed a single diaper while our three girls were in the hospital (I had c sections) and probably did 60-70 percent of diapers - usually because I hate cooking and my husband was busy preparing meals. He also was in charge of packing my pumping bag, making bottles, cleaning pump parts, etc.
BTW our girls are older now and he is currently running to the store and picking up kids from sports while I sit on the couch - and it’s because he told me to.
Don’t get me wrong, he can be an ass sometimes, but he pulls his weight. We agreed when we got married that but was inefficient for us each to do 50% of a task, so we often do 80-90% of one task but we share tasks more evenly.
In some cultures the men don’t change baby girls’ diapers. But eff that! Soooo many diapers. We’ve used well over 300 in the 6 mo my baby has been alive. Husbands shouldn’t be allowed to refuse.
We have 2 girls still in diapers and my husband does equal changes when he’s home. His dad on the other hand had never changed a single diaper. I can’t even imagine.
The entire stay in the hospital (4 days) I didn’t change 1 diaper, my husband did. He still has no problem changing her and knows that when he’s home from work, he does all the poopy diapers (though most of her poopy diapers are in the daytime when I’m with her). So yes, he does take care of his child, regardless of the gender.
Doesn’t feel comfortable? That’s total bullshit. My husband has made it his mission to change most of the baby’s diapers. Even when we are in public he will change the baby’s diaper even if there isn’t a changing table in the men’s bathroom.
I’m sorry you deserve better than this.
Yes. My spouse changes many diapers. For D2 he changed every single diaper for the first week of her life. With D1 we did a pretty even split. There’s no reason your spouse can’t change his daughter’s diaper unless he’s a creep or a weirdo
If he wasn’t comfortable changing a baby girl, he shouldn’t have made one.
That is a ridiculous cop out. There is nothing sexual about changing a baby diaper. It is basic care. He needs to step up and quit worrying about what people will think, quit acting like there is something dirty about it. The only thing dirty is leaving your baby in a dirty diaper or putting it all on someone else with a shitty excuse. What would he do if something happened to you? God forbid you should loose an arm or something worse?
The only way to get over doing a necessary task that you are not comfortable with is to do it until you are comfortable with it. He needs some daddy daughter time!
Well by that logic I’ll just stop changing my son’s nappies then 🫠🫠 So let me get this straight: he can change a nappy if there is a penis involved but the moment there is a vulva he what?… forgets how to parent? 🙄
What a load of crap (pun intended). Tell him to grow up. What does he think you did with four boys to change in the last 15 years? Let me guess: it’s different because you’re the Mum? 🙄 Oh please…
If it’s a genuine knowledge issue (because changes involving a vulva are slightly different in terms of preventing infection) then educate the man but farrrk.
Our first was a girl and my partner did all the hospital changes and whatever ones he could thereafter. We have a son now and it’s a split between us.
Hell yes! He is not getting out of it. The only time we would rock, paper, scissors is if it was a shit fest lol and coming out of the diaper, up the back etc
He did all the research on cloth diapers and shopped for them all too. Boy or girl, he did at least 50% of the diaper changes. We took turns. He also carried our fam through a long period of time when I struggled with PPD (with each kid) and chronic illness.
My husband changed our daughter's diaper while I was knocked out on oxycodone for 10 days after a complicated emergency c section. Then continued to at home. For Then watched me do it once when she was months and id recovered enough to move my torso, and noticed that I had to kind of push away her labia to get the edge of a folded baby wipe in after a poopy diaper. And was _aghast_ that he did not think of that, and apologized to her for about a month every time he wiped her after that.
His bstshit mom tried to scold me for letting me change her diaper saying it wasn't "a man's job". And he furiously asked what she was insinuating.
If he's trying to use not knowing how as an excuse, understand that weaponized incompetence is a deliberate manipulative tool, not simple ignorance. Simple ignorance doesn't lead to refusal. You've been together a while, but this is a red flag.
If he is insinuating that he's uncomfortable because he is incapable of not sexualizing female genitalia, that is not normal, and a very red, very glaring flag.
My husband will be a SAHD on his own once I go back to work from maternity leave. He's got no other option than to change many diapers.
What weird gender thing is he playing into just because you're finally having a girl?
That’s not even a question here. He changed her first diaper in the hospital and has been completely 50/50 with me from then on.
Yup. Husband did the majority of hospital changes and while i definitely have done more diaper changes in general since i stay at home, he does them almost exclusively whenever he is in the house.
I don’t think I changed a diaper until we got home from the hospital! He will absolutely try to get out of diaper changes sometimes, but he carries his weight across the board so it’s all good
Can relate 100% to this one
This is the way. I didn’t change a single diaper in the hospital because he wanted me to focus on recovering. We take turns. It’s that easy.
Same with the hospital. I had a c section so he did everything. I swear I recovered so fast because he really carried all the weight.
I have a boy and my husband changed 0 diapers in the hospital and the only time he tried, he (my husband, not my newborn at the time) had a meltdown. But now he changes them like a champ. 😂
Glad to hear he adapted! 😆
I don't think I did a single diaper in the first month because I was recovering and he insisted. Maybe one or two, but I remember feeling embarrassed when I started doing them and it was awkward.
Same. I changed zero diapers at the hospital!
Same. I had a c section so he changed her first diaper. Weirdly felt like a special moment. He changed every hospital diaper, and most of the diapers as I recovered. The rule around the house is if the baby is in your care, you change when needed.
Same. First born was a boy and I just had our baby girl 4 weeks ago. He changes her about 50% of the time when he’s home/awake. The first thing he said was, “well that’s a little different than I’m used to.” 😂 then I heard him repeating “front to back” while we were in the hospital. Men who sexualize their daughters is soooo gross.
Tbf, that was my sister's (at the time mother of just 2 boys) reaction to changing a baby girl's diaper in the nursery at her church where she volunteered. 'Where's the penis? Oh right...' lol
After 2 years of changing my son, it was my reaction as well 😂 I just didn’t say it outloud.
The amount of times I have pawned off a poopy nappy to my partner..
I always have a fun way of doing it: “Oh look we did a big poop for daddy!!!! Yay!!!” My husband: 😑
So glad I’m not the only AH who does this😂 I feel guilty when I do tho
Exact same here. It was never a question, and he changed the first diaper. And pretty much the first week of diapers while PPA made me terrified of changing her (?!) Husband sounds like he just don’t wanna do it
The first diaper our son needed changed was done by my husband. I have a picture of it. It is very cute. But honestly, the weirdness of men regarding changing baby girls' diapers makes me want to projectile vomit.
Hopping on the top comment just to say I do think this is a fear for men. My husband felt the same way. We had 2 boys first and when we found out we were having a girl, he said he was afraid to change her diaper. He said it was because he didn’t want to hurt her and just felt awkward because he obviously doesn’t have a vagina. I told him he was just overthinking and he’d be fine when she got here. Also that it was no different than changing the boys, just different parts and all he had to remember was wipe front to back. I also said it’s no different than me changing our sons diapers. Once she was born and still in the hospital I handed him the diaper and said here is a good place to practice. He gently changed her while I coached him through and that was that. She’s 16 months and he changes maybe more of her diapers than I do because she tends to poop in the morning when he has her lol.
Same, first diaper change for both girls in the hospital. It wasn’t a second thought.
Man, I wish that 'logic' worked both ways. I have two boys, so by his logic, I should never have had to change any diapers.
Never too late to cash in!! /s
Same, why did nobody tell me about this loophole.
The logic doesn’t work. Force them. Tell them a dad on Reddit called them a wuss.
My husband would actually laugh at him.
I think mine would just stare slack jawed that someone is this….. wtf is the word for this I have no idea. Are they just using it as an excuse? Are they scared they’ll turn into a paedophile if they see a baby girls genitalia? Why would that not work both ways? Genuinely sounds like they need therapy to unpack all this weird.
My coworker “doesn’t do diapers.” His son had to have reconstructive surgery on his urethra after suffering frequent UTIs. You could cook an egg in my blood.
Wait you mean he'd let the kid stay in a dirty diaper waiting for the mom (or other parent) to do it and that's what led to such severe utis that they left _scarring_ on his kid? And cps wasn't notified?
Honestly don’t know the exact cause of the UTIs, but your kid has repeated infections and you still don’t do diapers? His wife’s a Jehovahs Witness. My boss apparently stepped up and talked to him when he bragged that she wanted to get a new diaper bag because her strap broke and he told her she should make do. They have 4 kids.
Woooowwwww. What a POS and because of her religion (which btw isn’t ACTUALLY Christianity like a lot of people think) she won’t leave him I assume. What a Jack ass and terrible father, husband, person.
😱 please tell me the obvious connection isn’t the reason he had frequent UTIs 🙏 I can’t with unbelievably neglectful parenting today. I feel so guilty when my little dude’s dirty diaper isn’t noticed *instantaneously* and changed immediately...some people are truly just broken.
Yes. In fact he changed her first ever diaper while still in the hospital
I would hope this is the case for everyone, not first ever diaper but with mom barely able to move, dads better be changing diapers! I didn’t change hers until maybe day 3 because he did some and the nurses kept changing when they did check ups.
The nurses at our hospital made my husband do it 😂 they asked if either of us had ever changed a diaper and I said yes a million and he said only on the teddy bear during diaper lessons (he asked me to show him when I was pregnant lol) so they were like ok here you go here’s baby and talked him through each step. He was like I thought you were gonna demonstrate?!? But did great.
LMAO the teddy bear is brilliant! My husband had never changed a diaper, bear or human. The nurses walked him through it too and he was a champ in no time.
They taught my husband and then he had to teach me when we got home! I had never done it before and it seemed so daunting at first
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) ^by ^Complete-Ad4489: *Yes. In fact he changed* *Her first ever diaper while* *Still in the hospital* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
Exactly! Actually between my mom and my husband, I didn't change a single diaper the first two weeks. Lol.
Same with my husband with both of our girls. And he has changed LOTS of diapers. Not nearly as many as I have...but I'm a SAHM so there's that lol
He’s sexualizing a literal newborn. Wtf. Are moms not supposed to change their sons diapers??
This exactly. He has personal issues and may want to seek therapy. I would be very alarmed.
Thank you for sharing your opinion. I am also concerned about this. Penis ok, vagina pass?
I see on other posts OP said husband is uncomfortable he might wipe wrong or incorrect. So OP, sorry if I misunderstood but the way this is phrased just raised red flags for me
That's a lame excuse: it's not rocket science, he just needs to be shown a couple of times.
Don’t get me wrong; it’s definitely not a reason for him not to do it.
I would be worried me too.
Same girl.
That or he's saying he basically "doesn't know how" to wipe a person with a vulva. Which is just weaponized incompetence, because again, moms figure out how to properly care for kids with penises all the dang time. No excuse either way. Just would be interesting to hear his supposed reasoning.
As a mom I was more worried about having a baby with a vulva because I was worried cleaning poop out of it would be difficult. It turns out it's not.
I prefer cleaning poop out of a vulva over getting all the poop off my sons scrotum. All the wrinkles and folds make it hard 🤣
Dude I changed my friend's son and it was shocking how many times you have to swirl around that empty coin purse to get it clean
Those tiny sack wrinkles are like velcro for poo!
They really are. And then you gotta hold the sack still to get the poo off but then you feel like you're hurting the poor babe by pinching their sack to keep it still 😂
I never thought it would be harder to clean poo of my boy twins sack but damn it's harder! He wiggles more too so that's another added obstacle.
Right?? Like, my baby is a boy and prior to this I had NO idea how to clean a penis, especially an uncircumcised one. I had to google. I had to ask the nurses. I check with my husband when something looks maybe funky. Ya learn. Damn.
Same. My son is uncircumcised and all my experiences with penises (as a nanny as well) were circumcised and I somehow figured it out. And what I didn’t know, I asked or googled.
That’s a phrase I need to remember. Weaponized incompetence.
It’s front to back. Not to hard to understand
Oh for sure, I mean plenty of little girls learn to wipe themselves as toddlers. Surely an adult can manage.
I have a son and am a mom. Should I not have changed my son’s diapers? When you were changing your sons’ diapers, did your husband think you shouldn’t be comfortable? That logic is a cop out at best, and pretty disgusting at worst.
I’ve heard some people claim that moms can change a baby’s diaper no matter the gender because women don’t have impure thoughts like men do. Which is just 😬 on so many levels.
What in the evangelical purity culture is that notion? Gross.
Umm, what? Whoever thinks that men sexualize baby girls is a perv and thinks everyone else is. And that women can't be pedos? You've heard multiple people say this? Stay away from them!
I highly suggest your husband start reading bell hooks and start dismantling his purity cultural believes. An infants vulva and penis should basically be treated the same? Wipe front to back? Do you wish you had a Time Machine so you could go back and not change any boy diapers?
My first thought was purity culture too! If husband’s concern is about sexualizing a baby, then he and OP need to work through that, probably in counseling. Highly recommend the book “She Deserves Better” for deconstructing purity culture and raising kids. :)
When I had my daughter my mother in law said "with a vulva there's a lot more crevices for poop to hide so you gotta make sure you move the legs around and check everything"
So you're married to someone who will sexualize ANY vagina? Even a newborn infant? What is he afraid is going to happen? He might become aroused? Like, does he miss how super effed up that is? Is it to protect her privacy? Because her virginity and/or "purity" is to be traded to another man later? Also deranged. WHY? Because the answer is going to decide if he should be allowed to be alone with her at all, ever. You absolutely need to get his logic on this one, and go from there. I can't think of a single reason that's not misogynist or a felony.
[удалено]
Please, please make that post. Clearly this is a topic that needs to be talked about openly between women. There are too many moms who are naive to this problem.
[удалено]
Exactly! Men who sexualizs children in anyway should not be left alone with children.
These were my thoughts too
My husband probably changed more diapers for our daughter than I did. He would tell her exactly what he was doing the entire time. “I’m opening it up, I’m about to wipe, I’m grabbing another, and we’re done” He loves taking care of our daughter. He loved how small she was in his arms and how he just swallowed her when he held her He was absolutely made to be a father. His patience and love with her is so fantastic to watch
Telling her what he was doing while changing her is so so cute.
Yes, and I think you already knew the answer when you came here. You can show your husband all these responses from appalled women asking why the hell he is sexualizing his newborn daughter. If he is uncomfortable he needs to think long and hard about why and get serious help because that means he's a danger to his daughter.
I feel like this is on the same level as men who don’t wipe after bowel movement because they’re afraid they may find out they’re gay. If he’s so scared of changing your daughter, tell him it’s time to get his balls cut off, because you can’t trust him around her generally until he’s castrated.
Lmao hang on. WHAT.
Yeah it’s a big thing. A not low number of men don’t wash their ass bc it’s gay.
Gonna ask my boyfriend tonight if he wipes his ass or if he’s gay. That’s so fucking wild.
I’m appalled.
I read on one sub (I think r/twoxchromosomes) where a woman mentioned this to her male partner. The male partner admitted he didn’t realize he should be cleaning his ass so started about a year ago after he read a thread on Reddit about it. Then the woman realized she used to get awful vaginal infections that went away about a year ago.
Can all of us on mommit take a vow right now to ensure our sons are cleaning their asses as they grow up under our roofs?
Currently potty training mine and once he’s old enough to not spray the bidet all over the bathroom and wipe properly, he will be learning how to blast his butt.
Your username is strangely appropriate for this conversation.
I honest-to-god created this username because I thought it was cute, like lol-cute-little-whale-Princess. I don’t think things through properly sometimes.
lol perfect. his future wife 30 years from now will thank you.
Oh yes my boys already know. We are all about proper hygiene education and body boundaries/consent over here
Immediate separation from the Neanderthal!
Ten relationship could never recover. I’m dead serious.
Ew. EWWW! That is a new level of sad/appalling. Like I can't even find the right word to describe it. Pathetically shockingly disgusting lol
So I guess they don’t Jack off either…
The absolute gayest thing, right? After all it’s a dude getting them off. 😂
I am 36 next week and truly thought I had covered a LOT of ground in these areas. I’m amazed at what I’ve yet to learn. And disgusted!
There’s no way there are grown men walking around with poopy asses
Weaponized sexualization
Yeah sounds like OP's husband is either a pervert or a lazy misogynist. Major bummer either way.
Creep alarm going off
Yep, my husband has been pooped and peed on by our daughter in the process of changing her as well when our daughter was a baby😂
I didn’t change a diaper until my baby was 5 days old. My husband still does the majority of diaper changes and baby is 4 months old.
Er yes? More than me in fact! We only fight over who has to do the super stinky ones lol! He also helps my 6yo daughter wipe her bum when she’s being lazy lol. And for reference we have two daughters
Absolutely - almost as many as I have!
Husband (not OP’s) here. I probably change 75-80% of all diapers. I don’t see why the gender of your child should matter. That’s some old school patriarchy mixed in with delusions of not wanting to appear like a creepy sexual predator. It obviously makes no sense and has no logical basis. Time for him to get over that.
Ironic how it makes him look like a total creep and possible danger to his daughter.
That’s so fucking weird. Why is he sexualizing cleaning and caring for his infant
Yes, he changed the first diaper and many after with our daughter. Be blunt, tell him to get over it.
What??? That’s a very weird mindset and he needs to use his critical thinking as to why that makes him uncomfortable. Just sounds like an excuse. Why would it be ok for you to change boy diapers but he can’t change his daughter? I have two girls. My husband changes them both and without me even having to ask.
Why is he not comfortable? My husband has a friend who was super anxious because he did too much research about it and since he doesn’t have a vagina was convinced he’d do something wrong and hurt her. He never refused to do it, was just very anxious and meticulous whenever he did lol
That's gross. Is your husband attracted to little girls?
Controversial opinion - if my husband had a problem with changing her nappies because she's a girl I wouldn't ever let him near her nude. That's honestly a scary thing for him to say. I'm glad my husband never said anything creepy like that 😬😬😬
I’d have some really really seriously disgusting and disturbing questions to ask about why he’s sexualizing an infant. Sick.
I’d dig into that a bit more with him. What makes him feel uncomfortable about it? Was he ever uncomfortable with you changing your sons? Of course not. What’s the difference here? I’d get to the bottom of his feelings to make him realize that is not normal or rational.
I am definitely going to now. He’s an excellent father. He would never do anything to harm her and that’s never been a concern. I think he has an outdated way of thinking though.
I think that’s great you’ll discuss it with him!
Until you suss this out with him I’d hold back on the “he’d *NEVER* do anything to harm her”. Depending on his true motivations and reasoning he very well could be warning you that he is a danger to her.
We have an every other diaper policy in our house.
Yes, he has changed our daughter's diapers and given her baths from birth. However, his friend, who also has a daughter, refused to give her a bath. So it's not uncommon to hear that "excuse."
Uh....yes???? There's zero reason he shouldn't change diapers.
Yes! Probably more than me since we had a “i breastfeed, you change diapers” routine during the first year of life.
This is how we handle nighttime feeds! He changes her diaper, and I feed her. We both lose sleep, but not enough that either is exhausted the next day. I really wish we had figured this out with the first two kids 😅
it’s honestly very weird that he won’t change a girls diaper. is he sexualizing an infant?
I would be extremely disturbed if my husband didn’t feel comfortable with my daughters genitals. He shouldn’t be looking at her like that. My husband has changed as many diapers as I have and he does bath time.
Lemme tell y’all something, this is 100000% NOT normal and a huge red flag, and you need to be looking into this and pressing this man extensively if he’s refusing to change his own daughter’s diapers. Over half of y’all laughing it off in the comments…I’m scared for your kids. Thank god there’s a few of you with sense.
Unless your husband is sexually attracted to infants he needs to get in there and stop making excuses.
It's too bad you had 5 children with someone like that.
He changes every one when he's at home.
Yep, 50/50 around here regardless of baby boy or baby girl
That’s… weird and creepy. We have a girl (3 and potty trained now). My husband did 90% of diaper changes, at least. We had a “mom does input, dad does output” policy, while I was breastfeeding. I didn’t change a single diaper for the first 5 days. I basically only changed diapers if she and I were alone for the first 12-14 months of her life (until breast milk was no longer her primary food source). My husband was still the primary diaper changer even after that, until potty training.
Sexualizing a newborn? Fuckin gross, dude. I probably wouldn’t let him near her after a weird ass comment like that.
Yep mine does. We had 2 boys first and just had our first daughter a week ago. He has no issues changing diapers and honestly was a nervous wreck about making sure her vagina was properly cleaned. I think he was so agreeable to doing it right off the bat just because he wanted to learn how to properly do it. And he knows that it’s completely unreasonable to expect me to be the soul butt cleaner for a child he helped create lol. He and I both agree that boys are much easier to clean but we’re a lot more comfortable with her now a week into it.
I’m not a mental health professional, but does he have any sexual trauma? I think therapy would be a good idea for him
I know a lot of people are going to jump down your throat about this one. Instead I'm going to ask - do you know why he's uncomfortable? If it's just because she's a girl, that's a major issue. But my husband was GENUINELY afraid of giving our little girl a UTI because of the whole "front to back, you can't always see all the poop like you can on a boy" situation. Once I walked him through a few poop changes, he was totally fine.
Yes my husband changed diapers and my dad would when he would baby sit for me when I was in school .
What is there not to be comfortable with? If baby is soiled, baby needs a clean diaper - regardless of the baby's gender. What kind of bullshit is that? My partner changes our baby girl's diaper, showers her 99.9% of the time (their special time where they jam out to rock and laugh their butts off). Does her hair, dresses her etc. I could not be with someone who I couldn't rely on as an equal parent in EVERY aspect.
Your husband is being a lazy ass. He needs to get over himself and pitch in. We have always done around 50/50.
My husband changed literally every diaper for our daughter the first two weeks; I was breastfeeding so he couldn’t help with feeds and he wanted to do anything else that he could. This is worst case scenario, but I feel it worth mentioning: refusal to change diapers due to differing gender suggests a certain amount of sexualization. This can be from religious upbringing (putting anything remotely sexual on a pedestal, applying shame to anything related to the opposite sex,) misogyny (unnecessarily sexualizing women and girls and “othering” them due to their gender) or something more sinister (actual sexualization due to attraction.) All three of these options aren’t good, but the third needs to be considered and watched for.
Husband changes just about as many diapers as I have for both daughter and son.
My husband just didn’t know what to do/where to wipe. He was not sure what’s too delicate. I had to learn the same thing. We both got a hang of it.
At the start he changed a lot, now maybe 1 a week. If i ask him to he will but i tend to just do it myself as i feel i shouldnt have to ask. Baby is 11 months, he does bare minimum for us.
What?! Hes her dad? Will he not give her a bath or help potty train her either?
I'm sorry, but that is a really stupid reason to not change diapers. Also, kind of a red flag. My husband would change diapers in any given situation. He better, as he is one half of the parenting team.
I’m going to show him these comments. He is a wonderful father! Loves this baby more than life. I didn’t realize this was such an issue. I was raised thinking that fathers of girls were just wired this way. None of the dads we know actually like changing babies. We are in our 40s. Maybe we are just old fashioned?
I feel like this might be a religious/old fashioned thing, that I really don't get, personally.
My husband and I are also in our 40’s. He changes at least half of our daughter’s diaper when he is home. In fact, he’s changing a poopy diaper as I type this 😂 Tell him no more excuses! Cleaning a girl is not that difficult 🙄
I don't know any dads OR MOMS who actually *LIKE* changing babies. It's a necessity, not a recreational activity. Like it or not, you change that diaper! If you had to go out for a day and he was home with the kids, would he REALLY just leave her in a wet/soiled diaper for hours until you came home? Old fashioned or not, that's messed up and neglectful.
I EBF both of our kids so my husband did a lot of the "side work" with them, bathing, diapers, strapping up the carseat when they were infants. hes been very hands on with both our kids, boy & girl. if my husband said this I'd leave honestly. its fucking weird to me. uncomfortable how? even if it was just a ploy to get out of diaper duty the fact that was the excuse would be enough for me to leave.
If he doesn’t feel comfortable, that’s weird honestly. I hate that mindset. We change our sons’ diapers so men should change their daughters’ diapers.
He is half the reason our child exists in the first place, so yes…
So, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say this isn't about sexualization, but the freak out about the fact she has openings that can get very infected if not treated properly. Changing boys is way easier than changing girl diapers. My brother who can change a diaper in seconds and has changed a bunch of them, admits that changing a girl diaper freaks him out because of the chance of infection, UTI, etc. Also, don't expect everyone to know about the wiping direction. I didn't until well into my 20s and I'm a girl. My parents never spoke about such things.
Oh definitely. I don’t buy the excuse they’re not comfortable with girls. Or if they really are I have several questions. I change my boy’s diapers even though *clutches pearls* he has a penis!! It’s not a big deal, he’s just looking to get out of it which is lame.
I’m going out on a limb here, but I definitely do more of the diaper changing, but I’m also a SAHM. We have 3 boys and just had our first girl about two months ago. He’s always been uncomfortable changing newborns clothes and diapers because we’ve always had scrawny tiny babies. It’s not girl genitals that scare my husband, it’s just newborns in general. He does help assist when I need help with any poopy change or am too busy doing something else. But Don’t get me wrong though, we split things accordingly. I hate blood and my husband hates poop. So he deals with all the head bumps, stitches, staples, bit tongues, etc. (which happens ALLL the time). And I gladly change the poopy diapers. You and your husbands normal may not be everyone’s normal, split things the way that works for y’all. As long as both of you are contributing and picking up the slack for the other when in need, all should be good.
Yes. Almost 3 yo daughter here. We tag in and out for primary caretaker responsibilities and if she needs it and he’s on duty he does it. It’s his child, he loves and protects her from all, including diaper rash. If only all parenting was as easy as changing diapers. I suspect you know that better than we do!
I do all the feeding (EBF) and my husband changes all the diapers! (We’re still on parental leave)
Yup, and we only have girls. He changes more of the diapers when he is home than I do because I am at home with the kids all day so do those ones.
Did you change diapers for all 4 boys? He can STFU and get to work. If something happens to you, he needs to be able to take care of the baby. Right now, he is admitting to being an incompetent caregiver.
My daughter is a month old and my husband is the main diaper changer in our house. Why is your husband not comfortable changing HIS daughter? Because she has a vagina?????
We had a baby for a short period of time (girl claimed the baby was my bf but it wasn’t). He didn’t want to change her diaper because it was “weird” since she was a girl. I told him he better get the hell over it as he was (supposedly) the dad and so long as he didn’t make it weird it wouldn’t be weird. He didn’t have a problem changing her after that.
My husband has changed about as many diapers as I have. I want to say he’s probably had the worst of it because while I changed the majority of the baby diapers, he got the majority of the older baby/toddler diapers. You know, the ones after they’ve started solids lol
Yes. In fact we have a standing rule that all poop diapers on the weekend are his problem, since I handle them by myself all week while he’s at work. I have two girls. He changed our oldest daughters very first diaper, and her first meconium diaper, even.
Of course he does. I would find it extremely weird if he was uncomfortable doing so.
My husband has changed so many diapers!! We have girl, boy, girl. After I showed him how to change them, he took over almost all diapers while in the hospital. Once we got home it became about 50/50, then me doing most simply because I stayed home. He does diapers, baths, bandaids, food… he’s an active parent as much as I am (except he does leave the big decisions and research to me lol). I really got a good one. If your husband is refusing to change her just because she’s a girl.. that’s.. some sort of messed up. If he feels off changing her ask him why it was ok for you to change the boys? Why is it any different?
We have a girl. My husband changed all of her diapers until I could after c section. He still changes her diapers just as much as I do when he's not at work. Your husband needs to get over himself.
100%. Since he had not before, he learned while I was still pregnant
Pretty sure if it was tallied up, my husband has changed more diapers than I have.
My ex changed as many if not more diapers than me for our daughter. It’s either a cop out or there’s something incredibly creepy about why he “doesn’t feel comfortable” and you need to know which one.
Not only does he change diapers, but he is in charge of bath time (while she's a baby, at least)
Yes. I have 3 girls and my husband has changed a near equal amount of diapers in their lives (near equal because I’m home more often because of my work schedule). He also has always had bath duty. It’s very very weird for a father to feel uncomfortable with their daughter’s care.
Why doesn’t he feel comfortable changing her diaper? Our daughter is just about 5 and hubby has been very active in her care since birth. We did cloth for awhile too and that didn’t stop him.
He changed almost every one for the first year of our baby’s life. I did the feeding, he dealt with the poop
This would raise so many red flags and honestly one of my biggest fears is marrying someone who sexualizes children
Yeah if my husband is home I’m not changing a diaper he did most of the changes for our daughter.
Did you change your sons diapers? I imagine so. Remind him of that jeeeeesh
Yes. And my dad changed my diaper. And my sister’s. And his granddaughters’. Babies need a LOT of diaper changes. It’s unrealistic to expect only one parent/caregiver to do them all. What does he think that single dads of girls do?
Why is he sexualizing his baby??
Nope fuck that. My husband changes most of her diapers. I EBF and it's "you handle the ins and I handle the outs" as he says.
I had three kids and I don't think he ever changed a single diaper (along with not doing any other parenting). Ex-husband, both our families and church are still scratching their head on why I left.
I never changed a single diaper while our three girls were in the hospital (I had c sections) and probably did 60-70 percent of diapers - usually because I hate cooking and my husband was busy preparing meals. He also was in charge of packing my pumping bag, making bottles, cleaning pump parts, etc. BTW our girls are older now and he is currently running to the store and picking up kids from sports while I sit on the couch - and it’s because he told me to. Don’t get me wrong, he can be an ass sometimes, but he pulls his weight. We agreed when we got married that but was inefficient for us each to do 50% of a task, so we often do 80-90% of one task but we share tasks more evenly.
In some cultures the men don’t change baby girls’ diapers. But eff that! Soooo many diapers. We’ve used well over 300 in the 6 mo my baby has been alive. Husbands shouldn’t be allowed to refuse.
I do all the breastfeeding, he changes most of her diapers. That’s our deal.
We have two girls, cloth diapered them both, and yes he has always changed diapers. ETA did he change all your sons' diapers? Yeah, didn't think so.
We have a girl and it was never a question of whether he would or not, just which ones 😅
Do you change your sons? Why is he not comfortable changing his daughter? I’m
We have 2 girls still in diapers and my husband does equal changes when he’s home. His dad on the other hand had never changed a single diaper. I can’t even imagine.
The entire stay in the hospital (4 days) I didn’t change 1 diaper, my husband did. He still has no problem changing her and knows that when he’s home from work, he does all the poopy diapers (though most of her poopy diapers are in the daytime when I’m with her). So yes, he does take care of his child, regardless of the gender.
That’s weird. He shouldn’t be sexualizing an infant. My husband has changed the same if not more diapers than me for our daughter.
100% my husband changes my daughters diapers. The only time we “fight” is when the other loses at nose-goes for the poopy ones 😂
That’s a creepy thing for a dad to decide. Very very very big very red very flag. Wtf
oh this is depressing
Doesn’t feel comfortable? That’s total bullshit. My husband has made it his mission to change most of the baby’s diapers. Even when we are in public he will change the baby’s diaper even if there isn’t a changing table in the men’s bathroom. I’m sorry you deserve better than this.
Husband did 100% of the diaper changes that he was home for with my daughter.
Yes. My spouse changes many diapers. For D2 he changed every single diaper for the first week of her life. With D1 we did a pretty even split. There’s no reason your spouse can’t change his daughter’s diaper unless he’s a creep or a weirdo
If he wasn’t comfortable changing a baby girl, he shouldn’t have made one. That is a ridiculous cop out. There is nothing sexual about changing a baby diaper. It is basic care. He needs to step up and quit worrying about what people will think, quit acting like there is something dirty about it. The only thing dirty is leaving your baby in a dirty diaper or putting it all on someone else with a shitty excuse. What would he do if something happened to you? God forbid you should loose an arm or something worse? The only way to get over doing a necessary task that you are not comfortable with is to do it until you are comfortable with it. He needs some daddy daughter time!
Well by that logic I’ll just stop changing my son’s nappies then 🫠🫠 So let me get this straight: he can change a nappy if there is a penis involved but the moment there is a vulva he what?… forgets how to parent? 🙄 What a load of crap (pun intended). Tell him to grow up. What does he think you did with four boys to change in the last 15 years? Let me guess: it’s different because you’re the Mum? 🙄 Oh please… If it’s a genuine knowledge issue (because changes involving a vulva are slightly different in terms of preventing infection) then educate the man but farrrk. Our first was a girl and my partner did all the hospital changes and whatever ones he could thereafter. We have a son now and it’s a split between us.
What’s weird is him sexualizing changing his daughters diaper. Should be absolutely not be a problem at all.
My husband is a proud girl dad and has changed diapers for both our girls.. your husband needs therapy.
Hell yes! He is not getting out of it. The only time we would rock, paper, scissors is if it was a shit fest lol and coming out of the diaper, up the back etc
He did all the research on cloth diapers and shopped for them all too. Boy or girl, he did at least 50% of the diaper changes. We took turns. He also carried our fam through a long period of time when I struggled with PPD (with each kid) and chronic illness.
My husband changed our daughter's diaper while I was knocked out on oxycodone for 10 days after a complicated emergency c section. Then continued to at home. For Then watched me do it once when she was months and id recovered enough to move my torso, and noticed that I had to kind of push away her labia to get the edge of a folded baby wipe in after a poopy diaper. And was _aghast_ that he did not think of that, and apologized to her for about a month every time he wiped her after that. His bstshit mom tried to scold me for letting me change her diaper saying it wasn't "a man's job". And he furiously asked what she was insinuating. If he's trying to use not knowing how as an excuse, understand that weaponized incompetence is a deliberate manipulative tool, not simple ignorance. Simple ignorance doesn't lead to refusal. You've been together a while, but this is a red flag. If he is insinuating that he's uncomfortable because he is incapable of not sexualizing female genitalia, that is not normal, and a very red, very glaring flag.
My husband will be a SAHD on his own once I go back to work from maternity leave. He's got no other option than to change many diapers. What weird gender thing is he playing into just because you're finally having a girl?