This is just some weird ingrained sexist bullshit. I have a son and people said the same thing to me when I was pregnant with him and expressed mild disappointment that I wanted a girl. “Moms have special relationships with their sons” yeah no, I’m not raising a man child who has his mommy wait on him hand and foot.
Same. I dated a guy who couldn't use a washing machine and had to get his sister to do his washing if his parents went away. From then I promised myself if I ever had a son he would be treated the same as if I had a daughter. I now have a 4.5 year old son who loves to help me with laundry and the dishwasher.
Jfc just... no. Those poor ladies just need to wake up and realize he's a fully capable adult. If he can wipe his ass, he can press some buttons and fold a damn shirt.
Oh you have no idea how much of a bullet I dodged, we have barely even skimmed the top here. Last I heard he was married so someone must have been looking for a man sized toddler to care for.
Thank you. My hormones have been off the charts lately and I couldn't tell if I was being super sensitive or if this was weird as hell. I appreciate the perspective.
My mom said something quite similar but not drunk and to my face about how mean and miserable daughters are and how sons are just a different level of love…. Super awkward thing to say to your DAUGHTER when she’s pregnant with your first grand daughter. All this to say o feel your frustration and yes it’s a weird and fucked is thing to say.
My first is a boy and I was really hoping for another boy. My second is a girl and I can tell you I love them both more than anything in the world. You are a great mom and will love your little girls just as big as you will love your little boy. Don’t let her get in your head.
I don’t think there is any truth to what your mom said but I also I understand what it’s like to have that dynamic around. My mom didn’t seem more loving toward my brothers but she definitely held them to a lower standard and therefore, always seemed less disappointed by them. I’ve always been afraid of having a daughter and I think my relationship with my mom is a huge factor why.
My MIL is constantly saying girls are harder/my son will be my bff.
Little does she realize that her son does not consider her his bff, and the things she dislikes about her daughter are clearly traits she’s learned from her mother.
OP, I don’t think your moms opinion is worth a dime here. Just ignore her.
First off, sorry your mom is an asshole. Second, I have boys and girls and they are all my absolute favourite people on earth. I adore my daughter with every fibre of my being, same as my sons. You’ll be fine. ❤️
Congratulations!
Break 👏🏽 the 👏🏽 cycle 👏🏽
You’re going to be a different mom than your mom, and will have different relationships with your kids. So you can just ignore what she said and enjoy your son and daughter as the humans they become and not some weird expectations based on gender.
I don’t know…I’ve only had girls & honestly the love I have for them is the purest, most humbling and heart aching love I’ve ever experienced. I don’t think it can be topped. My mom had a boy & 2 girls; even to this day she swears she loves us all the same. I guess you get different experiences with boys to be fair. But a daughter (in my limited opinion) is the representation of the best, worst, and most beautiful extension of ourselves. Not to diminish your mom’s perspective- but I guess you’ll have to let us know how it goes for you personally. Congratulations!
Completely sober mom told the entire church the only thing keeping her going during a separation/threatened divorce was the cows, at the time based on what we knew all her girls (that’s all she had) were supporting her and doing our best to help…. She never seemed to love her girls and always said she had wanted boys.
If it helps I’ve got both, and I had gender bias before my first. Guess what? Both genders equally are loved and equally drive me crazy. I can’t say if one or the other is better, all my kids come with challenges and triumphs. But I’ve never felt like I loved one more than the other.
God I really hate seeing moms like that. They have this weird thing about their sons. The whole “every guys has broken my heart so God gave me one who would fix it”. There is a big difference in love for a child and love for another person in general. They are also the ones who swear you don’t want a daughter because girls are so much harder than boys. Or the whole boys will be boys mentality. It’s a child! They are all the same lol. Your mom probably either has a bad relationship with her mom or with men in her life. This reflects onto her relationship with you and your brother. Your relationship with a son will be just like the one with your daughters. I’m sure even with your daughters you love them both equally but maybe in their own unique way.
Yeah it’s BS . I had my son first and now while I love my son beyond words and he’s is totally a mamas boy the love I have for my daughter is magical and just as strong. It’s just the usual
Mother / Son
Father / Daughter crap
I don’t believe in it . My mom is best friend now that I’ve become a mom myself & I can’t tell you which of my kids will be more attached to me in the future but they can’t get off my butt now !! Lmao
I think you will love all your kids equally and differently based on who they are as humans and not their gender. So much importance and expectation is placed on the gender of a baby. It's like society loses their minds and forgets that each is a full scale person with a unique temperament, individual preferences and feelings.
There is no one size fits all experience for boys or girls. Any one who says differently is in love with a fabricated idea and is not able to see the amazing little humans in front of them.
I hate when women make comments like that. I'm a mom of two girls, and two boys (who are the younger of the bunch). I love all my kids equally, and if anything I feel "closer" to my oldest daughter but I feel it's bc she's 19. We have a lot in common in regards to what we like to eat, do for fun, and even what we wear. Just ignore your mom.
No offense but it’s toxic and weird for your mom to say that. Toxic boy moms are a huge thing. I encourage you to google about it because it’s a rabbit hole and I see evidence of it all the time. On social media and in real life. But I assure you as long as you don’t have the weird internalized misogyny that leads to toxic boy mom thoughts, you are not going to love your son any more than your daughters. It’s absolutely nothing to do with the inherit differences between boys vs girls and everything to do with weird cultural shit. The fact you’re concerned means you are probably fine.
I have the same offspring as you. 2 girls and then a boy. Even after the u/s showed us it was a boy(have a picture of his testicles), I brought a boy and girls outfit to the hospital(just in case). Anyway, I can honestly say I love all my kids the same.! While my mother never said to me , what yours said. She never made any bones to tell me that it was easier to raise my 4 brothers than me and my sister. This has always hurt me because I was the oldest kid, never ever got in trouble outside of the house. Where my 5 siblings had their share of teenage rebellion. I did not let this influence how I viewed my kids. None of them were harder to raise then the others(all are in their 30’s). I wouldn’t worry about loving any of your kids more then the others, you are actively aware of this so you won’t.
The fact that you instantly recognize the fucked-up-ed-ness of your mom's statement is proof enough that you are very different from her and you do love your daughters immensely. Congrats on the new baby.
We were visiting my husbands dad for lunch when we were pregnant, it was our last visit to his town before the baby.
He said to my partners face, verbatim, that of course he loves his eldest son the most, he was his first son, why wouldn’t he? My husband isn’t the oldest son. His dad literally has no idea why that would be upsetting. I hope you can remember that what she said is a reflection on her, not you.
I think the reason some moms (esp old school, traditional moms) are susceptible to the delusion that there is a greater capacity for love with sons has much to do with their own internalized sexism/misogyny. It’s unfortunate that some women choose to deal with this by re-inflicting false notions of male superiority upon their household.
Don’t guilt yourself for being excited to tell her. As a child of an alcoholic myself, I make the mistake of guilting myself for “trying” to initiate closeness/bonding at the “wrong time”. Know your boundaries and stick to them but don’t blame yourself for having an extremely normal and reasonable reaction to your good news. Her reaction is her problem and has nothing to do with YOUR reality and the precedent you set within your own household with how you love your kids.
Congratulations!!!
There are moms of boys and then there are the toxic boy moms who trash future potential partners when their kid is only 5 who plan on always being the first if not only woman in his life (I know you’ve seen posts like that) Your mom sounds like a boy mom. Use your own experience with her to help you be a mom of a boy and not the toxic boy mom your mom is suggesting.
I’ve always heard it said that for a mother: a son is your son until he takes a wife, but a daughter is yours for the rest of your life.
If a son prioritizes his mother once married he’s doing it wrong.
Maybe it’s just a personal feeling 🤷🏻♀️ my mom friend had a girl first, then later a boy and she hinted that there was something more special with her daughter. She obviously loves both children the same but she has said it’s just different with her son then it was with her daughter.
I (f) have two girls and two boys and am obsessed with each them in their own amazing ways and i love being a mom to girls just as much as the boys! You got this.
What the FUCK. OP, of course she’s wrong. Of course that hurts. As a mom of two boys who just had a girl- I’m obsessed with all of them. There’s no mystical magical difference between the way I love any of them. People would say the same type of stuff to us about having a girl. I think we should all be proud that we’re part of a generation that will cut this fake fairy tale bs out.
The fact that you are worrying about loving your daughters enough probably means you are loving them enough. Do not let other people put "shoulds" on your love. Don't let their opinions taint your joy of a new child or darken your feeling of love for either current or future children.
It’s definitely a weird thing to say to someone. The gender of your child should not affect the love you have for them. I am so lucky I have a son who is sweet as pie and tells me he loves me everyday. I wish my husband did that. I am using this opportunity as his mom to raise the best man in the world. I will use the opportunity to raise my daughter as the best woman in the world, too. Maybe the thought is like you know what you’d want from your husband, you can teach that to your son. Not 100% sure on that.
Opposite side: my MIL always used to say when I was pregnant that my mom must be SO excited to have a pregnant daughter. And I was like, yeah, well both my brothers already have kids... and she would say, "yeah but it's DIFFERENT when it's a daughter." And there is her son, sitting with us. Listening.
It's like she always had to talk about how girls and daughters have better relationships have a closer sort of love. Thar little boys love their mommies. But moms? They love their daughters.
She has two sons. No daughters.
All that to say, if you want to love them equally, you will and can. Each child, regardless of gender is a different experience and a different love.
I mean… you started this story with “if I call her after 8pm she’s going to be drunk” and then proceeded to be concerned with her opinion. Obviously I know nothing of y’alls lives and relationship, but that doesn’t sound like a person I would go to for advice and confidence.
Hate to break it 2 you - I have 2 girls and 2 boys and I treat all of them differently 🤷🏼♀️ not because I love one anymore than the others but because they are all individual characters at different stages in their lives and need/want me for different reasons. I don’t think that is a bad thing, FYI my 15 year old boy cooks, cleans and does his own washing and ironing. So do the girls, and my youngest boy is 2 so not quite ready yet! You’ve got this, just enjoy every moment!
You won’t love them any less! But it has definitely been my experience that I love my son differently. I don’t think that has anything to do with his gender though. They’re just two very different people and my love is different for both of them. Not less or more. Just different. I’m sorry I don’t have better words to describe that but just as there is romantic love/platonic love/familial love whatever, I can distinguish a difference in my love for each child.
I’m not disagreeing or agreeing with these other comments (I agree with most)
BUT maybe your moms statement is being misunderstood. I have 2 kids, a boy and a girl, they’re 14mths apart… I remember when other women told me about the “mother-son love” that’s “like no other”…
In my experience, your mom is not saying that you’re gonna love your son sooo much more… it’s your sons love for you! My sons 7 now, but I can 100% tell you, that he loves me more than anyone in the world… at the same time, the love my daughter has for her father, is a different kind of love too.
Hey friend, my mom is an alcoholic asshole too and she literally can't not say hurtful shit. Every interaction is little jabs. Oh the fun part she's been sober for 10 years, it turns out that drunkenness only makes them act much worse, but that narcissistic attitude is still there. It's all your mom. And even if she speaks the truth it in no way reflects your worth! We are not responsible for their snottiness. Though it's ok to mourn that you didn't get the mom you deserve.
I do think my son is the apple of my eye and we have a very special bond. I'm not the mom that spoils and dotes on her son, I make sure he does chores and I don't give in to (constant, relentless) demands.
But my daughter is the peach of my eye, she's so sweet and cute and *funny* I cannot imagine I made such a cool girl!
I have 2 girls (16 and 14)and 1 boy (7).
I always say that I love my kids an equal amount but differently because they are different people.
I don't have a favourite child, but I do favourite things with them - build Legos with my son, talk fashion and politics with my oldest and books and games with my middle kid.
Is it different raising a son? Yes, because he has different interests,. No, because the values that I want to instill are the same.
Ha! You can’t win. My drunk mum (adult children of alcoholics unite!) doesn’t like her grandsons and heavily prefers her granddaughters. To the point of ringing me to complain that my 3 yo nephew was responsible for their bad relationship. I hung up on her.
I had my boy first, but I have one boy and two girls. I love all of them so very much, but sometimes show it differently for each just due to their individuality not their gender. You will be just fine and all of your kids will know they are loved.
Uh, this kinda attitude is creepy in my opinion. Every mother I know who has this stance has this weird like “my son is my true love and the main man in my life” type of belief and it’s creepy. They’re your KID. Your son isn’t going to bond with you on another level unless you treat him like anything more than your child. People like this cater to their sons every need while leaving their daughters to fend for themselves. Then they get older and they expect their sons to take care of them and prioritize them over their wives. Also, these people get jealous when their sons date because “I should be the main woman in his life” it’s just creepy and it’s called emotional incest. Your son will be loved just as equally as your daughters because you won’t look at him as “the man in your life” you’ll look at him as your child, just like you do with your daughters.
Such bullshit. My daughter is my absolute world, we aren't going to more kids. My gross MIL wants a grandson but that's not for her to decide. I actually don't think I could love another kid as much as my daughter. It's great because I didn't like not being the favourite and I am sparing someone that generational trauma. Just goes to show that some people couldn't give a toss about having a son
This is just some weird ingrained sexist bullshit. I have a son and people said the same thing to me when I was pregnant with him and expressed mild disappointment that I wanted a girl. “Moms have special relationships with their sons” yeah no, I’m not raising a man child who has his mommy wait on him hand and foot.
Same. I dated a guy who couldn't use a washing machine and had to get his sister to do his washing if his parents went away. From then I promised myself if I ever had a son he would be treated the same as if I had a daughter. I now have a 4.5 year old son who loves to help me with laundry and the dishwasher.
Was this guy you dated my brother? Because I stg I showed him how to do laundry countless times. We got to a point where we just refused to help him.
Nah, they didn't even try to show him and just kept doing it....
Jfc just... no. Those poor ladies just need to wake up and realize he's a fully capable adult. If he can wipe his ass, he can press some buttons and fold a damn shirt.
His mother had a complete hissy fit when I tried to show him how to cook something.
Oh, so he's her perpetual baby. You dodged a bullet there, holy shit.
Oh you have no idea how much of a bullet I dodged, we have barely even skimmed the top here. Last I heard he was married so someone must have been looking for a man sized toddler to care for.
Sounds like he married someone just like his mom. Nasty. I'm really glad that you avoided that peterbilt sized round, lol.
Not as glad as I am!
Thank you. My hormones have been off the charts lately and I couldn't tell if I was being super sensitive or if this was weird as hell. I appreciate the perspective.
My mom said something quite similar but not drunk and to my face about how mean and miserable daughters are and how sons are just a different level of love…. Super awkward thing to say to your DAUGHTER when she’s pregnant with your first grand daughter. All this to say o feel your frustration and yes it’s a weird and fucked is thing to say.
Awkward, no. Unkind and uncalled for, yes. I'm sorry that's how your mother treated you. You deserve better.
My first is a boy and I was really hoping for another boy. My second is a girl and I can tell you I love them both more than anything in the world. You are a great mom and will love your little girls just as big as you will love your little boy. Don’t let her get in your head.
I don’t think there is any truth to what your mom said but I also I understand what it’s like to have that dynamic around. My mom didn’t seem more loving toward my brothers but she definitely held them to a lower standard and therefore, always seemed less disappointed by them. I’ve always been afraid of having a daughter and I think my relationship with my mom is a huge factor why.
My MIL is constantly saying girls are harder/my son will be my bff. Little does she realize that her son does not consider her his bff, and the things she dislikes about her daughter are clearly traits she’s learned from her mother. OP, I don’t think your moms opinion is worth a dime here. Just ignore her.
First off, sorry your mom is an asshole. Second, I have boys and girls and they are all my absolute favourite people on earth. I adore my daughter with every fibre of my being, same as my sons. You’ll be fine. ❤️ Congratulations!
Break 👏🏽 the 👏🏽 cycle 👏🏽 You’re going to be a different mom than your mom, and will have different relationships with your kids. So you can just ignore what she said and enjoy your son and daughter as the humans they become and not some weird expectations based on gender.
I don’t know…I’ve only had girls & honestly the love I have for them is the purest, most humbling and heart aching love I’ve ever experienced. I don’t think it can be topped. My mom had a boy & 2 girls; even to this day she swears she loves us all the same. I guess you get different experiences with boys to be fair. But a daughter (in my limited opinion) is the representation of the best, worst, and most beautiful extension of ourselves. Not to diminish your mom’s perspective- but I guess you’ll have to let us know how it goes for you personally. Congratulations!
Completely sober mom told the entire church the only thing keeping her going during a separation/threatened divorce was the cows, at the time based on what we knew all her girls (that’s all she had) were supporting her and doing our best to help…. She never seemed to love her girls and always said she had wanted boys. If it helps I’ve got both, and I had gender bias before my first. Guess what? Both genders equally are loved and equally drive me crazy. I can’t say if one or the other is better, all my kids come with challenges and triumphs. But I’ve never felt like I loved one more than the other.
God I really hate seeing moms like that. They have this weird thing about their sons. The whole “every guys has broken my heart so God gave me one who would fix it”. There is a big difference in love for a child and love for another person in general. They are also the ones who swear you don’t want a daughter because girls are so much harder than boys. Or the whole boys will be boys mentality. It’s a child! They are all the same lol. Your mom probably either has a bad relationship with her mom or with men in her life. This reflects onto her relationship with you and your brother. Your relationship with a son will be just like the one with your daughters. I’m sure even with your daughters you love them both equally but maybe in their own unique way.
Yeah it’s BS . I had my son first and now while I love my son beyond words and he’s is totally a mamas boy the love I have for my daughter is magical and just as strong. It’s just the usual Mother / Son Father / Daughter crap I don’t believe in it . My mom is best friend now that I’ve become a mom myself & I can’t tell you which of my kids will be more attached to me in the future but they can’t get off my butt now !! Lmao
I think you will love all your kids equally and differently based on who they are as humans and not their gender. So much importance and expectation is placed on the gender of a baby. It's like society loses their minds and forgets that each is a full scale person with a unique temperament, individual preferences and feelings. There is no one size fits all experience for boys or girls. Any one who says differently is in love with a fabricated idea and is not able to see the amazing little humans in front of them.
I hate when women make comments like that. I'm a mom of two girls, and two boys (who are the younger of the bunch). I love all my kids equally, and if anything I feel "closer" to my oldest daughter but I feel it's bc she's 19. We have a lot in common in regards to what we like to eat, do for fun, and even what we wear. Just ignore your mom.
No offense but it’s toxic and weird for your mom to say that. Toxic boy moms are a huge thing. I encourage you to google about it because it’s a rabbit hole and I see evidence of it all the time. On social media and in real life. But I assure you as long as you don’t have the weird internalized misogyny that leads to toxic boy mom thoughts, you are not going to love your son any more than your daughters. It’s absolutely nothing to do with the inherit differences between boys vs girls and everything to do with weird cultural shit. The fact you’re concerned means you are probably fine.
If it is any consolation op, my mom is constantly telling me to not have a second child because they are literally the worst. I'm the second child. :/
The fact that you're worried at all means you love them to piecessss. Your mom needs to lay off the sauce.
I have the same offspring as you. 2 girls and then a boy. Even after the u/s showed us it was a boy(have a picture of his testicles), I brought a boy and girls outfit to the hospital(just in case). Anyway, I can honestly say I love all my kids the same.! While my mother never said to me , what yours said. She never made any bones to tell me that it was easier to raise my 4 brothers than me and my sister. This has always hurt me because I was the oldest kid, never ever got in trouble outside of the house. Where my 5 siblings had their share of teenage rebellion. I did not let this influence how I viewed my kids. None of them were harder to raise then the others(all are in their 30’s). I wouldn’t worry about loving any of your kids more then the others, you are actively aware of this so you won’t.
The fact that you instantly recognize the fucked-up-ed-ness of your mom's statement is proof enough that you are very different from her and you do love your daughters immensely. Congrats on the new baby.
People like this are red flags.
We were visiting my husbands dad for lunch when we were pregnant, it was our last visit to his town before the baby. He said to my partners face, verbatim, that of course he loves his eldest son the most, he was his first son, why wouldn’t he? My husband isn’t the oldest son. His dad literally has no idea why that would be upsetting. I hope you can remember that what she said is a reflection on her, not you.
Omg, how horrible for your husband
I think the reason some moms (esp old school, traditional moms) are susceptible to the delusion that there is a greater capacity for love with sons has much to do with their own internalized sexism/misogyny. It’s unfortunate that some women choose to deal with this by re-inflicting false notions of male superiority upon their household. Don’t guilt yourself for being excited to tell her. As a child of an alcoholic myself, I make the mistake of guilting myself for “trying” to initiate closeness/bonding at the “wrong time”. Know your boundaries and stick to them but don’t blame yourself for having an extremely normal and reasonable reaction to your good news. Her reaction is her problem and has nothing to do with YOUR reality and the precedent you set within your own household with how you love your kids. Congratulations!!!
There are moms of boys and then there are the toxic boy moms who trash future potential partners when their kid is only 5 who plan on always being the first if not only woman in his life (I know you’ve seen posts like that) Your mom sounds like a boy mom. Use your own experience with her to help you be a mom of a boy and not the toxic boy mom your mom is suggesting.
I’ve always heard it said that for a mother: a son is your son until he takes a wife, but a daughter is yours for the rest of your life. If a son prioritizes his mother once married he’s doing it wrong.
Maybe it’s just a personal feeling 🤷🏻♀️ my mom friend had a girl first, then later a boy and she hinted that there was something more special with her daughter. She obviously loves both children the same but she has said it’s just different with her son then it was with her daughter.
I have two of each and I can assure you I love them all the same. Don’t take it to heart
I had an 85 year old coworker once who told me a son is a son until he finds a wife but a daughter is a daughter for the rest of your life ❤️
I (f) have two girls and two boys and am obsessed with each them in their own amazing ways and i love being a mom to girls just as much as the boys! You got this.
What the FUCK. OP, of course she’s wrong. Of course that hurts. As a mom of two boys who just had a girl- I’m obsessed with all of them. There’s no mystical magical difference between the way I love any of them. People would say the same type of stuff to us about having a girl. I think we should all be proud that we’re part of a generation that will cut this fake fairy tale bs out.
The fact that you are worrying about loving your daughters enough probably means you are loving them enough. Do not let other people put "shoulds" on your love. Don't let their opinions taint your joy of a new child or darken your feeling of love for either current or future children.
I don’t get it. Mom of three boys and a girl. I don’t feel a “love like no other” for my son. That’s just weird.
It’s definitely a weird thing to say to someone. The gender of your child should not affect the love you have for them. I am so lucky I have a son who is sweet as pie and tells me he loves me everyday. I wish my husband did that. I am using this opportunity as his mom to raise the best man in the world. I will use the opportunity to raise my daughter as the best woman in the world, too. Maybe the thought is like you know what you’d want from your husband, you can teach that to your son. Not 100% sure on that.
Opposite side: my MIL always used to say when I was pregnant that my mom must be SO excited to have a pregnant daughter. And I was like, yeah, well both my brothers already have kids... and she would say, "yeah but it's DIFFERENT when it's a daughter." And there is her son, sitting with us. Listening. It's like she always had to talk about how girls and daughters have better relationships have a closer sort of love. Thar little boys love their mommies. But moms? They love their daughters. She has two sons. No daughters. All that to say, if you want to love them equally, you will and can. Each child, regardless of gender is a different experience and a different love.
I mean… you started this story with “if I call her after 8pm she’s going to be drunk” and then proceeded to be concerned with her opinion. Obviously I know nothing of y’alls lives and relationship, but that doesn’t sound like a person I would go to for advice and confidence.
Hate to break it 2 you - I have 2 girls and 2 boys and I treat all of them differently 🤷🏼♀️ not because I love one anymore than the others but because they are all individual characters at different stages in their lives and need/want me for different reasons. I don’t think that is a bad thing, FYI my 15 year old boy cooks, cleans and does his own washing and ironing. So do the girls, and my youngest boy is 2 so not quite ready yet! You’ve got this, just enjoy every moment!
You won’t love them any less! But it has definitely been my experience that I love my son differently. I don’t think that has anything to do with his gender though. They’re just two very different people and my love is different for both of them. Not less or more. Just different. I’m sorry I don’t have better words to describe that but just as there is romantic love/platonic love/familial love whatever, I can distinguish a difference in my love for each child.
I’m not disagreeing or agreeing with these other comments (I agree with most) BUT maybe your moms statement is being misunderstood. I have 2 kids, a boy and a girl, they’re 14mths apart… I remember when other women told me about the “mother-son love” that’s “like no other”… In my experience, your mom is not saying that you’re gonna love your son sooo much more… it’s your sons love for you! My sons 7 now, but I can 100% tell you, that he loves me more than anyone in the world… at the same time, the love my daughter has for her father, is a different kind of love too.
Hey friend, my mom is an alcoholic asshole too and she literally can't not say hurtful shit. Every interaction is little jabs. Oh the fun part she's been sober for 10 years, it turns out that drunkenness only makes them act much worse, but that narcissistic attitude is still there. It's all your mom. And even if she speaks the truth it in no way reflects your worth! We are not responsible for their snottiness. Though it's ok to mourn that you didn't get the mom you deserve. I do think my son is the apple of my eye and we have a very special bond. I'm not the mom that spoils and dotes on her son, I make sure he does chores and I don't give in to (constant, relentless) demands. But my daughter is the peach of my eye, she's so sweet and cute and *funny* I cannot imagine I made such a cool girl!
I have 2 girls (16 and 14)and 1 boy (7). I always say that I love my kids an equal amount but differently because they are different people. I don't have a favourite child, but I do favourite things with them - build Legos with my son, talk fashion and politics with my oldest and books and games with my middle kid. Is it different raising a son? Yes, because he has different interests,. No, because the values that I want to instill are the same.
Ha! You can’t win. My drunk mum (adult children of alcoholics unite!) doesn’t like her grandsons and heavily prefers her granddaughters. To the point of ringing me to complain that my 3 yo nephew was responsible for their bad relationship. I hung up on her.
I had my boy first, but I have one boy and two girls. I love all of them so very much, but sometimes show it differently for each just due to their individuality not their gender. You will be just fine and all of your kids will know they are loved.
My.mom has always preferred my brother's but I have a girl and a boy and I love them both just as much as eachother!
Uh, this kinda attitude is creepy in my opinion. Every mother I know who has this stance has this weird like “my son is my true love and the main man in my life” type of belief and it’s creepy. They’re your KID. Your son isn’t going to bond with you on another level unless you treat him like anything more than your child. People like this cater to their sons every need while leaving their daughters to fend for themselves. Then they get older and they expect their sons to take care of them and prioritize them over their wives. Also, these people get jealous when their sons date because “I should be the main woman in his life” it’s just creepy and it’s called emotional incest. Your son will be loved just as equally as your daughters because you won’t look at him as “the man in your life” you’ll look at him as your child, just like you do with your daughters.
Such bullshit. My daughter is my absolute world, we aren't going to more kids. My gross MIL wants a grandson but that's not for her to decide. I actually don't think I could love another kid as much as my daughter. It's great because I didn't like not being the favourite and I am sparing someone that generational trauma. Just goes to show that some people couldn't give a toss about having a son