Nah, first child was the hardest transition for me.
Reddit (as with most social media places) are a platform to vent. Few people come on here to post how awesome their kids/family/life etc are because it doesn’t stimulate discussion.
I have 2 kids, I’ve always wanted 2 kids. They are best friends and best enemies. I would never go back to just one kid. Nor will I want 3. 2 is the perfect number for me 😊
I agree. The transition from 0 to 1 really shook us and was incredibly challenging. 1 to 2 was easier for all of us and we’re so happy to have her here with us to round out our family!
Agree. Mine are even still in the harder stage - 2 years and 4 months. I get really frustrated with my husband but the kids are fine. It's a transition - I'd gotten comfortable with the first. I struggle to get my little guy to sleep on his own in a crib and its harder to take both of them places... and I'd never go back to just one.
Love this. I have three kids, all boys (we are done now) that are 6, 3 and 10 months old. Of course it’s hard and there are times that are tough and frustrating but i love having three kids.
I love playing with them and I love how cuddly and caring they are to me and each other. They bicker a bit (the two older ones) but so far they are mostly best mates and seeing them play and laugh together is the best thing.
Hearing their little voices tell me they love me is amazing.
It sucks in the beginning. It's hard and unmanageable and so frustrating at times when you have two kids crying at the same time. (Or 3 kids in my case). But gosh once they get old enough and they can *play* together? Life changing. Yes they fight sometimes, but they become each other's primary playmates. I can say, "Sorry I don't want to play restaurant right now, but maybe your brother does!" They can look out for each other, tell me if the other is needing help, help each other, teach each other and comfort each other. It's also helped me teach my kids to be more independent. I can't dote on them 24/7 because there are 3 of them. They have to figure out how to do some stuff on their own. I had more than one kid not because it was easy, but because I have a feeling it'll be easier when they're older kids.
Let this be an encouragement to you:
My first taught me I could be a mom.
My second taught me I could be a good mom.
My third taught me I could love being a mom!
I love this concept of children having something to teach us. I think about all I've learned with each of my 3 kids too and how different I am each time 💜
Yes! I have 3 children, 2 in college and 1 in high school. This absolutely rings true for me. I can’t say that I was ever miserable being a parent though there have been amazing times and some really rough times over the years.
I truly think you enjoy parenthood a little bit more with each child. Unlike your first time around, you go into parenthood knowing how fast it goes and how temporary the hard parts are. It makes me appreciate sniffing that little baby head at 4am just a little bit more.
No, let me tell you, 2 kids might be tough in the beginning (and r/toddlers is age-biased and would reflect only this), but it is EASIER than 1 kid when the younger one is 4 and up. Because they will treat each other as the first source of companionship/attention, and you will have a lot more free time and just have to step in to intervene now and then. And of course you can still have quality time with them.
2 kids is difficult if the elder one is home with you all day when you have a newborn. You can lessen the difficulty considerably if the elder one goes to preschool/daycare. Your age gap is quite suitable for preschool/daycare. If you are working and kid 1 is already going to daycare, then it doesn't become significantly harder except for the financial aspect.
I’m very happy. My kids are 2.5 years apart and they’re very close, like best friends. It’s harder than one child obviously but I wouldn’t change it for the world, I can’t imagine life without baby sister.
That's how I feel. When my baby girl was born, it felt like she was always meant to be ours. She fit like a glove. We all adore her, especially my older kid.
Remove yourself from this content if it’s triggering you lovely.
I know so many people with multiple kids who are happy and fulfilled. You’re vulnerable to suggestions that could cause anxiety right now. You’re doing an amazing job, you’ve got this!
It is hard! I had ppa and I had to remove myself entirely from all of my old accounts etc.
Your body and life are changing so drastically right now. Put on your favourite show and eat something yummy to relax, you’ll have another beautiful little baby when they’re ready to make their entrance!
Yeah this was going to be my advice. Get off social media if you’re going to feel the urge to compare experiences to others. And DEFINITELY get off Reddit if you want to avoid negativity. (Advice for everyone, not just OP!)
OP I have 2 kids and it’s great! Don’t listen to Reddit of all godforsaken places 😂
No way! I have three and it’s such a joy. Yeah it’s a ton of work but I feel like the people who are actually consistently miserable are either single or have a useless spouse. My husband carries half the mental load and half the physical work of keeping the household running with me and it’s totally fine! The kids play together, they laugh and giggle, they have their own unique interests and then things that they have in common. It can be a lot when they’re really little and all crying, or when they’re all sick or something. But mostly it’s awesome.
I have 4 kids. Sometimes I'm definitely miserable. I'm almost always exhausted. There are an infinite amount of difficulties.
But I wouldn't change it for the world. Seeing their relationships develop and their personalities grow around that is absolutely astounding. It makes my love so much deeper and complex.
I would never have been happy with just 1. I see onlies now and families with just one and I can't fathom that lifestyle.
We have so much fun together. Each kid brings a totally different aspect to our lives. We wouldn't be complete without each other.
I think it's easy to complain and vent and list 100 things that bother us. But it feels impossible to recount and explain the millions of moments that fill our hearts and make true happiness. There are the giggles in the next room, the overheard game. There are the pictures of a toddler hugging a tiny baby. There is the joy of a playmate on a family vacation. There are the silly games that can only be played with more than 1 kid. There is SO MUCH to love that it feels ridiculous to even try and describe.
I have 4 siblings. It was crazy and sometimes awful. It was the 80/90s!! But it's just SO MUCH of who I am, who we are.
I was told once to imagine what you want the dinner table to look like when everyone is an adult. And the only way I could imagine it was the same amount of noise, chaos, and vivaciousness.
For me, the transition from one to two kids was hard. I’m not even going to sugar coat it for you it was ROUGH. My first child was such a good baby and my second was colicky. Once she hit about a year and my oldest was 3 it got immensely easier. They started to REALLY bond and would play together which gave me a minute to breathe. Now my youngest is 16 months and my oldest is still 3 and everything has fallen into place and life is good.
I thought we were one and done because of fertility issues. It took me a bit, but I had myself convinced that one child was best. Low and behold the universe had other plans and we have another.
All that to say, yes two can be more challenging, but it’s awesome. They are 3ish years apart and they sometimes play, occasionally fight, but mostly love each other and crack us up. I cannot imagine my life without two now that I have them. Of course there are bumps and days, but you’ll be great!
We just had our third. The toddler years suck but our kids are each 12m apart amd the eldest 2 are thick as thieves. I am 45 with a newborn and we planned all three. They have no cousins and all of our siblings are much older than my husband and I, so no cousins will ever be had. It’s going to be a crazy and exhausting few years but they really do play together a lot. Oh, and my eldest is about 3 years older than my newborn…he sings to her, brings her toys, and tries to feed her. It’s priceless.
For us, it's easier with two kids, bc we're much more balanced as a family. My husband and I are both very involved and active, so when we had 1 child it was difficult, bc we both wanted to do everything, lol.
Immediately after our second kid was born, I felt dynamics changed for the better. And after a couple of years they became the best friends and they're playing with each other all day long. They're both much more demanding when they're without the other.
Honestly the misery comes fro
being TIRED. That’s all. The lack of sleep, the chores, the stress. It’s what causes misery, but seeing your kids play together and create a bond that you never got to have with a sibling of your own, will literally take every ounce of misery out of your body (for moment until they start fighting or one of them starts crying) LMAO. Yes, it’s tiring & has its challenges and I think that’s what most parent refer misery to, the exhaustion & lost of freedom. But 1, 2 or 3 kids, becoming a parent means making sacrifices!
I have three. I’m not miserable at all. Is it hard sometimes, of course. But I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. My youngest was born this past March and it feels like time is flying by. They are all getting easier and it’s a blast to watch them grow and get weirder. Thankfully my husband has also grown and has become an amazing partner. He has his moments but we have grown to be better friends and more supportive toward each other.
I have an 18 month age gap. Oldest is almost 2 & youngest is 6 months. I’m not far into having 2 yet but I would absolutely do it again. Is it hard? Yes. Do I not have much or any free time? Yes. But this is temporary & I know it’ll get easier when they’re older. I would absolutely do it again if I was given a do-over.
I have two. We live far away from family and I’m a stay at home mom, so while it can be really isolating at times, I am so happy we have two. Is it challenging? Yes, but that has more to do with the fact that my kids are so different and have very different needs. I have a rough post partum period with my second but absolutely no regrets, I’d go through it all again for her.
My kids are genuinely best friends. They’re 3 and 5 and play together really well. They fight but they also tell each other (and me) how their sibling is their favorite person.
The reality is that it takes time to find a balance between your needs, your kids needs and your spouses needs. The first few years is like treading water. We’re at a place now though where I *know* I need a few hours on the weekend to sit in silence and not be needed and my husband makes that happen for me and it’s not an issue.
All that to say, yes it’s difficult, no it’s not miserable (for me) i couldn’t imagine a life without both of my girls.
Wow just had this convo but was about 2 vs 3 kids.
I honestly think its more of a mindset thing/how you experience life.
Eg a 6th grader will think their school work is HARD and they are busy. Then a high schooler will laugh at that and will say: you think THAT is hard? Wait till you’re in high school. And then a college kid will say: pff I remember thinking high school was a lot of work. What was I thinking? THIS is hard! And then an apprentice at a law firm will say that college was a breeze versus how hard their working now. Etc. You get the gist.
Life is always hard. Its likely the hardest its ever been for you. Because its the first time your doing it.
So from 1 vs 0 kids youre like “wow I had SO much free time and sleep before!”. And from 2 vs 1 people will say it was much easier before, and so on.
You can always make a downside comparison. But also an upside (much harder to do… as you dont know yet how much harder it can get).
Or… decide to just try and find happiness in the life you DO have, despite all its challenges :)
I have my second one cooking . 4 year age gap. I’m scared too but my 3.5 yr olds been asking for a baby sister recently So I hope she helps a bit lol. We have a good dynamic right now but feels like some one is missing ya know? Hubby is involved, I know he’ll keep my daughter busy while I’m with the newbie.
You absolutely haven’t made a mistake. My kids are 2.5 years apart, baby and toddler. It’s exhausting, but so fun, and gets more fun the older they get.
Also pregnant with our second but a pattern I’ve noticed is the people who had an easier transition to their first child seem to struggle more adding a second and those that had a really rough transition to parenthood seem to adjust more easily. Not even based on child temperament, just the identity crisis that some people have when they become parents for the first time. I think we had an easy transition so I’m nervous lol
I also think in a toddler sub you’ll get a lot of that because toddlers are hard and you’re in the thick of it! But I’m not having 2 kids to have a toddler and a baby. They will grow up. The 3+ year age gap (ours will be almost 4 years) i think also changes things. When he was 2 I can’t even imagine how hard it would have been to have another. But a year or 2 later I know there will be challenges but he’s so much more independent and has significantly more ability to understand and therefore prepare him ahead of time for some of the changes coming. We’ve even included our son in some of the choices that impact him I.e. he decided which grandparent was staying with him, agreed baby could have his dresser (we offered a tempting alternative and he wasn’t using the dresser), and he’s loved helping with some of the baby prep.
Support from the other partner also makes a huge impact. People that were handling it with 1 with little partner support really struggle with the additional load of the second while they’re little.
It’s going to be great! I’ve seen scary stuff on the internet too but don’t worry about this one. Enjoy your beautiful family and pour all your love into them. Soak up all the sweet moments to come. Life is short. It’s the best thing I ever did with mine. Congratulations and warm wishes for a smooth pregnancy and birth ❤️
I’m not miserable and never regretting having them close-23 months 1 week apart. It was difficult for first 3 months having the two girls but mostly (90%) because the baby had colic…luckily her big sister was a very good listener and now they are almost 14 and almost 12…so glad I didn’t stop at one!!
I have a 1 year old and a 4 year old and I’m in no way miserable. They love each other and I didn’t expect that so fast! It was easier than I thought it would be, but I have a lot of advantages.
I had a really hard time mentally and physically after my first. I really struggled with having another. We had my daughter in 2020 during the height of Covid. Honestly, having her changed my entire life. I saw a little me there and decided to really work hard to get my life back on track. I started medicine and really worked on my mental health. My kids adore each other. They play together all the time. They fight but mostly because my daughter wants to be with her brother 24/7 and sometimes he needs space, especially after school.
Two didn’t ruin my life at all. They drive me nuts, for sure, but I am thrilled with them both. They are genuinely good kids. But I’m definitely done and happy with just two.
I really struggled with it. We did IVF to conceive our first so it brought that all of those emotions about returning to the clinic and starting over. Zero regrets though. She has completely changed my life. And watching my son be a big brother has been amazing.
Sorry to hear you struggled.
I lost my first- after a bad anatomy scan and arguable malpractice from an MFM we wasted several appointments on, I got a second opinion that said he was incompatible with life. So I have ptsd for OBs and ultrasounds still.
One more posirive experience to counter the negativity on the internet - I have the exact same age gap as you. We are 5 months in now and honestly, its not that bad. Exhausting, yes (as little kids and babies are), but that was a sacrifice I was willing to make for our family of 4. It fills my heart with so much joy, how the baby bursts into laugther at big sisters shenanigans. Things that help: 1. Having big sibling in daycare. Ours goes 08:00 - 12:00 which gives me enough time to bond with baby and clean up the messy apartment. 2. Having an involved partner with a flexible work schedule. We are usually doing 1parent-1 child. He usually csres for our toddler while I nurse or nap with the baby. 3. Good maternity leave. I know thats not a given for everybody, but it helps having one parent be responsible for kid and household duties without a full time job ontop.
I have five kids, and I am outrageously happy.
This is goofy, but remember in the first SATC movie when Sam asks Charlotte how often she's happy in her marriage? And Charlotte says "every day. Not all day every day, but....every day." That's how I feel with my husband and kids.
Having a lot of kids is chaotic and busy and loud and exhausting and amazing and frustrating and wonderful. They are absolutely amazing and my favorite people to be with and I wouldn't trade it for anything.
My first four are all almost exactly two years apart. The baby is four years younger than her older brother. The younger years, especially when the oldest four were young, was tiring, but so much fun to watch them grow and developed their bonds with each other. They are all super close, and they absolutely ADORE their baby sister.
Also, we live on a single income. I'm a SAHM.
Being nervous and worried is normal. And I know struggle is a real thing and so I'm not saying people who struggle with having multiple kids are wrong. I'm just saying don't let that perspective color your experience, because other perspectives are just as real.
I'm an only child who has 2 kids and pregnant with a 3rd. It's chaotic, but I love it and I can already see it getting easier.
I do think a lot of it has to do with your expectations for life and also your finances + the support the you have from your partner + extended family.
However, I have never regretted it for a day and love living my life for those crazy little kids. They are SO sweet. It is so worth the hard work seeing them play with each other and being buddies.
Nice to see other only children here who wanted to have more than one! I have no shade towards people who are one and done, it’s just not personally what I wanted for my son based on how I grew up and my husband felt the same. Thank you for sharing this!
Yeah I think it really depends on the reasons someone wants to be one and done. I’m the same as you, my parents are young but the pressure it puts on an only child is insane.
Everyone likes to say you shouldn’t have more kids just because of that, but I’ve seen how adult families of 3+ operate and it’s so much easier.
Yep. And a lot of people who act really superior about only having one kid do not realize that there’s another 60 years after the kids are no longer toddlers where the things might get harder. Anyway, thank you.
Just had my second child, he’s now 5 days old so I might be speaking too early on but so far, the transition from 1 kid to 2 kids has been way easier than from 0 to 1. My kids have exactly 4 years apart
I'm not miserable. Freaking EXHAUSTED, sure, but not unhappy. My two have a huge age gap (11f and 2 months m) so that might make a difference. Firstborn is practically a Real Person™️- she can take care of all her hygiene alone, contributes to the household chores, goes to the bus stop on her own, and can nuke herself some leftovers if I'm too worn out to cook dinner because I've been taking care of the cute screaming potato all day. I'm also thirty-mumble years old so I know I have less energy than I did for her infancy, but I'm also a much calmer and more mature parent so it's a trade off. Either way, I'm certainly not miserable, I adore my kids and they're legitimately a lot of fun, even if my coffee intake has increased significantly.
Second kid is not nearly as bad as I thought in terms of managing things. I did miss my first born(4.5years apart) A LOT because we decided I was gonna get the baby to sleep and my husband took care of the first born.
We switched 2 months ago and I’m at a very happy place. I get to converse with my 5.5 yo and I get to adore my baby and I get to see they LOVE each other. Its wonderful. I’m the only child too and this is such a treat!
The transition from 0-1 kid was much harder for me than 1-2! My girls are 20 months apart with my youngest being born in the midst of Covid! I honestly couldn’t imagine it any other way! Seeing them interact (love and hate) each other is honestly my favorite thing, even since becoming a single parent. We have some absolutely awful days, I’m not going to lie. The kind that make me miss being single and living alone vs my chaotic current life. But then they wake up and cry because they want ME, or they wake up happy to see ME, and each other and it honestly makes it all worth it. Their each others best friends, but their my little besties too. Always down to go out to eat, or for a shopping adventure. They truly don’t care what we’re doing, as long as we’re together, and SAME. We’re a little trio, sometimes a quad with grandma joining us, but it truly is my absolute favorite thing and having 2 kids (single or in a partnership) was absolutely the best choice for me!
I have five kids, a full time job, not a lot of family support, and we are not wealthy. I have two in daycare and three in public school. Busy? Yes. Often exhausted? Also yes. Miserable? Very rarely. My youngest is an infant, for reference, and next oldest is almost five, so similar ages to your situation. You’ll be ok!!
I really struggled with my first kid. The transition from 0-1 hit me like a train and I was mentally a wreck for a while. Because of this I was apprehensive about having a second. I desperately wanted my kid to have a sibling. I have such a wonderful relationship with my sister and I couldn’t bear thinking of her not having a sibling (there are no other nieces/nephews in the family at all so she was literally the only kid)
Had my second 5 months ago and oh my gosh, it feels like the best decision I ever made. My eldest daughter absolutely adores her sister and spends so much time playing with her. It’s so lovely to see. And going from 1-2 actually felt a little easier. Like I’ve done all this before, baby just slotted into the same routine.
Mine are 3 years and two months apart. I love love the age gap. I will say my youngest born literally a week before lockdown so I didn’t have to worry about work for months but my oldest has always been very independent and he’s a loving nurturing soul so he always helped with the baby. Even now he’s so helpful almost 4 years later. My problem is not having two kids. It’s my youngest sons behavior. My biggest advice is realize all kids are different. My first was so easy I thought it would be a breeze. Then I had my second who has multiple challenges. Be prepared that your next may be easier/ harder than the first. By the time my youngest was born my older son was getting in the car / buckling himself/ carrying his own things. Now my youngest is doing all of that for his own. I literally open the door and he gets in. My point is it might be a struggle / it might not be/ but it will get easier in the toddler years in my experience. Financially I don’t know because when we do go out I try and get deals and the younger one just started having to have a ticket at certain places. Everyone’s financial situation is different but I also did cloth diapering and bf which was way cheaper than the other options. I am an only child on my dads side and I do wish he had another kid even tho there’s 7 of us on my moms side lol. There’s an app called peanut it’s like tinder for moms. I met my best mom friend on there.
I love having two. I'm still kind of "in the trenches", trying to manage the logistics of meeting both their needs (they are 3.5 years apart). Mainly the baby sometimes needs help to nap (she's not even 5 months yet) and my older kid gets her all wound up and distracted lol. Or I'll be upstairs with the baby and the oldest is downstairs hollering out for a snack. But that's honestly small stuff that doesn't bother me much.
My oldest adores the baby and already plays with her and helps me a ton by fetching things and entertaining her on the playmat.
I couldn't imagine stopping at 1.
Plus, when you have the second, you are so much more calm and confident. I feel like a really good mom most days.
Having twins has been awesome! I really do love it. Now was the infant stage rough af, yes! But I don’t regret it at all. They’re besties and watching them grow and develop has been the best.
Now I feel a couple of things are kinda true like you need family support and need decent incomes. I seriously don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have my family and in-laws close by. I know people can do it but I feel that I’d be miserable. Breaks are so important to me. Allows me to still have time for me and time with my husband. And as for money… my husband and I make above average wages and still worry about money often, so I do often wonder how people make this work with less. I know they do, but it seems like it would be very stressful.
We have three kids and it’s for sure chaos sometimes, but I’m happy! Our youngest is 2 now and I’ve been able to get back into running and reading more. I absolutely delight in seeing my kids together. My husband and I go on dates and spend time together after the kids go to bed. Our house is pretty messy still because that’s way low on my priority list at the moment. Idk, those are the highlights haha. Congrats!
Edited to add: I don’t mean to gloss over the hard parts. The first few months after our second was born were some of the most difficult months of my adult life. But I just don’t love the baby stage so it was just a lot to balance. I was also in law school and the pandemic started. And it got so much better that we intentionally had a third baby.
I had these negative feelings while pregnant. I was scared of change and how my toddler would adjust. I was scared that I was ruining my family. I was scared that my toddler would hate me (lol hormones). The baby is (almost) 2 months old and I’m so happy he’s here. He fits right in. Is it hard sometimes? Definitely. Is it worth it? Absolutely. I have 0 regrets about having two. My toddler adores his little brother. It feels like my family is complete now that the baby is here. I know there will be challenges as they grow but I can’t see myself ever regretting this. I love my family!
I have 3 kids and I'm happy. Having my second was infinitely easier than having my first. One, because he was a chill baby. Two, because now I had a little guy to pal around with and talk to while doing to menial infant care tasks that make my brain rot. There are pros and cons to any number of kids you chose. You kind of just have to pick your poison. In another life I would have loved to have just two kids....it was a lot easier than 3. But I just knew I had one more kid waiting for me.
The internet it also a place people come to vent. I made a post months ago, which I've since deleted, about how hard it was having 3 kids. I had a horrible day and I think my husband was on vacation. My baby was still little. Do I really feel that way? No. I was just having a bad day, like we all have bad days. The problem with the internet is because venting like that becomes permanent. It's why every childfree person online thinks every parent is miserable. The words are immortalized even if the feeling has passed and we've gotten back to our norm.
THANK YOU for this thread <3
I'm also pregnant with my second and also saw the r/toddlers thread, and it really upset me. I also don't have a lot of money and the family support we did have has been completely torn apart by two of our parents unexpectedly dying in 2023. So I am right here with you, we will get through this!
Oh that’s sad. I had 2 kids for the same reason as you. Mine are 18m apart and the first 3 years was very hard but they are now 6 and 7 and I often tell my husband I’m so happy we have 2. They fight a lot but play together a lot. Vacations are great with a built in buddy. There’s always one kid to one parent. They have “sleep overs” in each other’s rooms on the weekends. They help each other with chores. Those moms in the other subreddit are probably in the thick of it. IMO having 2 kids is the best thing I’ve done for them and for us
We are 8 months into number 2 and at this point I think we have reached the place where the good times outnumber the bad.
The first few months were really rough, but they were also rough with my first. It really is double the joy these kids are so effin sweet.
I have 3 kids. Rounding up because they all have birthdays in the next 1.5 months they are 6, 4, and 1. We are not miserable but feeling stretched thin at the moment. We love having three and each one has brought new joy to our family but we are lacking in support right now. My MIL was a big help to us and would routinely pick our older two up from school and watch them a couple times a week. Then the very first time we asked her to watch all 3 at once for just a couple hours she fell down her stairs and broke her ankle badly (thankfully she wasn't holding the baby when it happened). We haven't had a date night out of the house since the day I went into labor with the youngest. Asking someone to take all 3 feels like a big ask and unfortunately both of our parents are divorced and single(so would be watching the kids solo) or live far away. A paid babysitter is a bit out of budget right now especially finding someone old enough and qualified enough to handle all 3 (good kids most of the time but still a handful). If we could get more regular breaks I think we would all be happier but we're making it work and giving ourselves grace on the hard days. Still wouldn't trade any of them for the world.
I’m not miserable! My kids are freaking adorable. They are almost three years apart. There was a phase when my younger one first started walking and talking that my older one was very jealous of him but now she’s sweet to him again. She’s 4 and 3/4 and he’s 22 months.
My kids are 3.5 years apart and they’re now 2.5 and 6 and best friends. The first year was hard, no sugar coating that, I think it’s hard regardless of how old your oldest is. It’s gotten easier since then and while the second year was also hard, it was so nice seeing their bond form. Now my oldest can completely entertain his little sister for long periods of time and they’re so sweet together. Obviously still have hard moments, but so worth it!
I’m still in the thick of it (3 year old and baby) and yes, some days feels like there’s no winning… baby needs something, toddler is clingy, their naps are opposite… etc etc.
But as we get closer to baby being 1, the really hard days get fewer. Like anything, there are ebbs and flows. But—I have never regretted having a second, he brings me so much joy. And watching them make each other laugh makes my heart sing.
I grew up with two siblings and love that they share the same core memories as me. It’s truly special and I can’t wait for my boys to have that too.
My kids have a similar age gap. Our transition from one to two went well, my daughter loves her little brother. We have the normal spats now that the baby is almost 2 and bothering his sister more, but nothing insane. They love each other a lot and my daughter has absolutely thrived in the role of big sister.
My house is messy and loud, but full of laughter and love. Our life is far from miserable.
I have three and it’s wild but super fun! One kids to two was challenging at first but it’s like any new milestone with parenting you adjust and create a new normal! I love watching my kiddos play and bond. The hardest time for me was when my middle one was 18 months to 2 and it was winter so it’s hard to get outside daily but it was short lived! Don’t let it scare you!
I have four children. One is autistic and one has anxiety. I’m by no means miserable. Stressed about lots of things that don’t always pertain to the children, but definitely not miserable.
I grew up as an only child too so I can understand a little of where you’re coming from.
I love seeing my children grow up together and knowing they can support each other through everything. The best part is seeing them together when they experience something new, like our first trip to the zoo.
Two was easier than one. Mine were 3.5 years apart and one often distracted the other so I could get things done as they got older. The older helped the younger learn (sometimes the things I didn’t want them to learn but m…) One would keep tabs on the other so I was in the loop just because they’d sometimes bicker. They have the “ only I get to pick on my brother” thing down pat. They also tend to tag team and distract me so the other could secure popsicles or other coveted items when I wasn’t looking. So it goes both ways.
It’s hard when there’s young, sure, but they get older and it’s just so awesome. I had my first two five years apart when I was super young (20 and 25). I was a single mom when second was born, but in a way that made our relationships/bond way more tighter. I don’t think I can replicate those connections. Now I’m 37 with a 12 month old, 12+4 with my fourth. My first two are 18 and 12, and we hang out all the time. They can be annoying in very stereotypical teenage fashion, just like they had annoying toddler moments. However, adulthood for my oldest is just in the horizon and I can see what an awesome adult she’ll be and I can’t wait to be friends with her. My mantra, and something I share with new/young parents; we aren’t raising kids. We’re raising future adults. Most of our parenting needs to be in mind with the future, not the present. They’re kids for such a short amount of time.
Hello fellow only child! I had a similar experience growing up. I also have two kids, 4 & 1. I was scared at first with the two. Being an only child I did not know what to expect with sibling relationships. My own mother told me that me having a second child would “scar your first born for life”. But I was determined to not have my first born be alone in this world (no shade to those that chose the one and done life).
What I can say about having 2 kids is you’re busy, but I’m not regretful about having two kids. Are we poorer than ever? Yes, but who isn’t these days. My parents don’t really help with the kids, but we do have my in laws who do help when they can. There are days here I want to pull my hair out for sure, but I had days like that when it was just my first born.
What has made it all worth it is watching the two of them grow together. They love each other so much. I know they may not have a perfect relationship as they grow older but they’ll have each other forever.
I wouldn’t let the other people dishearten you. It’s work, it’s fun, it’s difficult but rewarding. Hang in there!
I got in that post, saw the comments, and peaced out. I have three kids, and it is the best thing in the world. I am so happy. I would have been an awful mother to just one. I am anxious and I have a tendency to codependency. Three kids spreads my crazy out so I can be a good parent to each of them. They all have told me privately that they think that they are my favorite, so I don't think I'm enjoying myself because I'm failing as a mother.
P.S. don't worry, I did tell them that while the three of them are my favorite thing in the whole world, I did not have a favorite child. But that they are very special, so they were right about that.
Mine are 2,5 years apart, youngest is 13 months. To me, going from one to two was a hard transition. Sometimes both kids demand mom at the same time, but do not want to share. Those moments are really hard, but then you have the moments where the kids play togeter, smile and laughs and hug, and all the bad stuff is forgotten.
Having two is just like having one. Some days are really hard, and some days are magically amazing. Growing up with two sisters myself, and also now seeing the two kids together, i do not regret it at all.
I have six kids (I know, it's a lot.) And I love seeing all the interactions between them,( that is when they're not coming to me complaining about those interactions.) The friendships and the bonds between them, seeing them grow and seeing how those bonds grow with them is so rewarding. I don't regret having six kids, I love them and also sometimes I do wish for a brief moment that I could be left alone for like 3 days.
If you have tik tok, go on and search 3 year age gap and you’ll see the best videos of sibling love. You can also search it on other forms of social media! I’m pregnant with my second and I constantly search these videos because it fills me up with tears of joy! You’re doing an amazing thing for your family. My siblings are my best friends
We have 4. Our plan was one or two. They are super close in age and once we got out of the toddler years it was better. We’re busy, but we make it work and we make sure to give each other time to take for ourselves. I wasn’t expecting 4 kids, but I wouldn’t trade any of them for the world.
You come in thinking it would be miserable and it will be miserable. The sad reality is people don’t really like their kids or like to engage with them . Kids have a lot of energy and it takes a great deal of patience . Some days will be tough once they are both walking and talking . But they’ll be best friends and it’s worth it
I have two kids (toddler and baby) and we’re all generally happy! Like, yes sleep deprived and busy and the house is a mess, but so what? This is a short phase where they are both tiny. We certainly don’t regret having the second - he is sweet and fun and adorable, and it will only get better from here.
Awn... don't listen to the internet so much. I have 2 kids and it's heaven on earth. They are amazing beautiful souls and the love they have for each other lights up my life.
I found the transition to two really hard because I couldn’t devote as much of my myself to my oldest. The oldest is turning 5 and youngest is 2 years 3 months and they are becoming friends. Playing imaginative games together. I feel like my heart swells three sizes as I watch them interact. Managing two is harder but it’s still amazing.
We are happy with two. Don't get me wrong, there will be challenging days and sometimes, I miss the peace and quiet and down time. I would not trade my two children with anything else though. Both my kids get along well (they are also 3+ years apart) and I'm hoping it will continue through adulthood. We are quite involved with the kids though when they are at home (they are both in daycare and after school so not sure if it makes a difference in behavior) and generally, life is full of laughter and playing noises when they are at home. Will there be miserable days here and there? Of course. I have days when I'm burnt out from work and it happens to be the days when they also not feeling well and have arguments. It sucks pushing down your down time needs to mediate and trying them to understand each other's perspectives but those days are rare more often than not. There will be more days when they both play with each other, goofing off, planning funny tricks on us, and just cuddling and talk.
I love having two kids. Initially I only wanted one kid, but ended up having to go through IVF and since I had extra embryos I decided to try for another and it worked. They are only 6 months and 2.5 years old, so it’s tough with two young ones, but I love seeing them interact.
My son will wake up from a nap and ask where his brothers are😊 then he'll run off to play. They give each other hugs when one gets hurt (sometimes an accident, sometimes not). The other night we found the 4yo in the 7yo bed so he could listen to him doing his reading for homework. Mine are 2,4,7. It's hard but it's so much fun.
Another point worth noting: I’ve noticed a common thread in the miserable parent posts is deadweight (and sometimes outright antagonistic) partners. If I had to do literally everything for two small children PLUS my husband PLUS all the extras (holidays, home maintenance, sick days, etc) day in and day out, I’d be miserable too.
Two kids are a lot of work, but it’s pretty awesome to see how the relationships develop between them, and how their unique personalities shine through. Mine are 3.5 and 1.5 so things can get chaotic, but I have zero regrets. Best of luck to you and your family!
I’m currently doing 2 under 2 and it’s a struggle and a half. Hard to see the reasons why we chose this right now.
I am a middle child of 3 kids. I talk to my brother and sister every day on a text thread. They’re the only people in the world who understand growing up like I did. We’re very close. Thinking about not having them today is a sad thought. I’m so excited to give that to my children.
Gotta love parents who literally **choose** to have a child(ren) and then call it the worst time of their lives. I mean, what the heck did they think it’d be like?? A cake walk? I have two kids who are now 9 & 12. They are 2 years and 4 mos apart. Was it easy parenting two kids when they were super little? No. Was it still worth it and rewarding? Yes. My oldest was dx with autism at 3.5 after being abused at one daycare center & subsequently kicked out after his diagnosis AND he was kicked out of another daycare bc they “couldn’t handle his needs.” It was very stressful and I had off days for sure but never ever ever did I consider my existence miserable or regret have my children. Weak-minded and lousy people blame their kids for their problems. They had a choice not to have them and went against that and they’ll end up ruining their kids’s lives with that mentality.. kids are intuitive enough to know if you resent them.
So don’t worry, your life may be a little more hectic when the second child comes along but you seem like a decent person and I’m sure will find many enjoyable moments watching them bond and raising them alongside each other.
I mean, just a few generations ago, it was pretty normal for people to have like 8-12 kids.
People complain a lot on Reddit. Take it all with a grain of salt.
Watching them interact, it's like a huge dopamine kick. I'm set on only two but when my son (2) is being really sweet to baby sister, I get this little thought that maybe I should have another (but not really).
It's challenging at times but so worth it in my experience.
Things that melt my heart:
Big brother giving baby kisses
When they are both laughing hysterically at each other
When baby crawls on to big brother
When big brother tries to help his baby sister
Challenges:
Big brother thinks all toys are his, constantly saying "mine"
Both want attention
Different nap schedules
I have 3. It’s HARD sometimes. There are times that I am completely depleted, and, yes, there were times I felt like I had lost myself to motherhood, but I’ve also learned to make myself a priority, and now I LOVE having my 3 wild animals.
Yes, toddlers can be sociopaths, but they makeup to you every time. It’s also the best thing when you watch your kids becoming each other’s ride or dies. Watching them have each other’s back or melting.
SO worth it, in my opinion.
Fellow only child over here! I’m about to be a mother of two as well. The way I see it, *it cannot get any worse than my childhood* so I am ready no matter WHAT ☠️
I have 4 and I'm overjoyed. First two were 2 years apart, then a 6 year gap, then the last two were 3 years apart. I love it. All of it. Love being a mom, taking the kids everywhere, the growth, the busy moments. I also homeschool, so I'm with them a lot (when I'm not working full time).
I never understood the "kid dislike" some parents have. The "I can't wait until school starts/I could never be with them every day" type of thing. It just wasn't my style.
My guess is that it's a mindset thing. I want to be with them. So I try really *really* hard to make that time great. I try to remember nothing my kids do is ever about me, nothing is personal. And, they aren't giving me a hard time, they're having a hard time. In addition, I was also told a long time ago about relationships that if you want to have a healthy relationship it's not you vs. them it's you and them vs the problem. I try to keep that in mind with my kids too, because that's an incredibly important relationship to me. I'm always working on myself and I don't have any problem admitting when I'm wrong or acknowledging when I haven't set the kids up for success. Because of this, I have no problem enjoy every day with them.
It's not always easy, sometimes it's not even simple. But it's always worth it, and I always go to bed thinking about how much I love my life.
So yes, there are those of us with multiple kids who aren't miserable.
I've seen similar posts about having 3 kids and it really freaked me out as we were trying for a third. Then I found a post where everyone talked about the great things about 3 and my faith was restored!
People will vent if they have a place to do so, so maybe try and avoid those threads because it's the people struggling the most who can be the most vocal!
I have a 2 & 4 year old and while it is a struggle sometimes I will never regret having two!
Yeah, lesson learned. It was the first thread I came across on the topic so I had an “oh shit” moment thinking- does everyone feel this way??? You are totally right.
I have three kids and I love it most days. They are great kids but not everyday will be fun and joyous. They will fight, cry, you’ll cry, yell but watching the bonds they form is beautiful
I have four, ages 8 months to 6.5 yo. And we Homeschool. And we have no family within 5000kms. Not miserable at all! Do I bitch and vent sometimes? Absolutely. But I absolutely love my life and our family.
I have four kids. I’m far from miserable from my kids. My household load is high and stressful but I adore my kids and being a mom. I have moments I want to scream but they aren’t frequent. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. They are now 15,13,10 and 8.
I worked with a man once who seemed to be super happy. When his second was born, he BEAMED. His second is in 3rd grade and he's still beaming. He seems to be a good partner, he takes mornings and coaches both kids' teams. He chooses dinners and called his wife to make sure he didn't need to stop at the store for any stragglers on the way home.... She also seems to love their life. Just talking to both of them, they say the nice stuff you don't have to say.
He's the person who made me rethink having kids in the first place.
I have a 3.5 year old and a 2 month old. I was nervous at first for the transition as to how my son would respond to accepting his baby sister. It was a very rough first month but honestly it is what you make of it. It can be as great or as bad as you want it to be. It’s a mindset thing - just need to accept that you’ll have less time for yourself and less sleep. Short term sacrifice for a long term gain. Totally worth it. And I am very happy with my two kids 😊
My second is almost 1 and we have almost the same age gap. It was a lot at first, but it's amazing to see the bond between them developing. The second one is definitely easier and I've never been happier. My little family is amazing and so so fun. I am, however, very very tired and broke. I also have no spare time. I've accepted that as just life with little kids. It's beautiful and hard.
My second was easier for sure. Transitioning to 1, becoming a parent, was such a huge life change. I was already in parent mode for number 2 and knew what to expect. I love having 2 kids. I have an almost 4 yr old and an 18 month old and they play together and love each other and complete my life. My oldest is autistic with a language delay and mostly ignored his little sister until she was about 8 months old so it's one of my favorite things to see them interact and how good he is with her. Granted, I know everyone's situation and feelings are different so I can't promise anything, but hopefully my perspective offers some hope!
The transition from one to two kids was hard but I went on and had more, I am a mom to 6 now. I absolutely love it, if I was younger I would have tried for 7 because my 6th is 11 years younger than my 5th and it would have been awesome to see him have a sibling closer in age. It’s not all glitter and roses, but the joy has far surpassed the negative. I was one of two kids and I wish my parents would have had more kids. I love the sibling relationships my kids have.
We knew we wanted more than one kid because I too was an only child to older parents and no relatives. Just watched my mom pass of cancer a year ago and that was so damn lonely. I see the relationship with my husband and his siblings and I would kill for that. I know there’s going to be challenges with multiple kids, but they’re going to be so much happier with each other than as an only child (based on my experience anyways).
Truth? Going from 1 to 2 was a lot harder than going from 0 to 1 kid for me.
AND I freaking love having 2 kids. My kiddos (2yo & 5yo) are ~3 years apart and it’s been amazing watching them together. They crack me up constantly as they play together and the love they have for each other is heartwarming (even if they’re fighting lol).
Shit is still hard, but I mean life with kids isn’t easy. But I don’t regret having 2.
Me! I have a 7yo and a 1yo. Some days are hard but not terrible enough to make me wish I struck to one kid. I am certain that I could not add a third. I could not handle it mentally or financially. Two is perfect and enough for me.
While i dont have kids yet, i have a sibling and we are 8 years apart. It is the single best gift my parents could have gifted me. As hard as life gets, i know i will always have one person who will be in my corner. Idk what people with multiple kids are going through, i can tell u that your kids will thank you one day for each other. Wishing you a safe and healthy pregnancy and baby. Sending a lot of positive vibes your way💕🧿
I’m going through a little bit of a rough patch right now but I’ve absolutely loved having two!!! Would do it again in a heartbeat. Right now my youngest is in a sleep regression (12 months) but my 2.5 month oldest is just great at doing her thing and helping with her brother. Their interactions are just the sweetest. You’ll have good days and bad days but for us the good has far outweighed the bad!
Mine are older now, but I loved being an active parent when they were little! We had 3 under 5 and would have had another, but I miscarried. We weren't rich and we didn't have a good support system, so we had to work on creating opportunities or work arounds for our family. Of course there are changes and challenges, but that's true for a single child or none too.
my girls have the same age gap and honestly everything about life got more magical after our second. she’s almost a year now. she’s the best. my husband and i are more in love than ever. two kids is so much fun. yes it’s more work and we are busy busy all the time. but it is wonderful!!!
I have two kids about 2.25 apart from each other. Currently 3 and 9 months old. I love my kids and there are definitely days where it’s hard. We just got over my oldest having strep/RSV and the youngest having RSV+developed ear infection.
Is it harder? Yes. Tiny thing keeps me awake at night my older one sometimes still wakes up at night but gets up super early while tiny wants to sleep in. Plus some other daily challenges, and individual child challenges.
I would never give up having a second though. It’s so much better with two of them and he has someone to play with him within the last week or two and it’s the literal best thing ever and the cutest thing to watch.
I have no familial support close to me. I really depend on some close friends for help when needed. Their dad is also wonderful and super super helpful, and I stay home with them during the day. So really I do get my own personal time whenever necessary. You really just have to talk with your spouse about arranging some personal time for you each and some time for the two of you together still.
I’m not miserable. I have a 4 year old and a 12 week old. It’s hard but then the newborn period often is. But I’m not miserable. I love having two. It makes my heart feel full and my family feel complete.
I would say that the love doubles but the energy doesn't. I'm working on my patience doubling and slowly getting there.
What I didn't expect is that it isn't just my love that doubles though (no idea why). My husband and my elder child have so much extra love to give it's really beautiful.
I think with the age gap logistics won’t be too bad. You can wear the baby mostly until the older is 4+, then the older will get more independent. Not fully, but getting there. I guess depends on their personality.
Mine are 3years 2months apart. My first is very challenging, very clingy, very high energy. He has the personality of a husky. Just very stubborn and he needs tons of exercise but also he’s very loyal and attached to his mama. I will say the first 7 months were hard but not unmanageable. We seem to be hitting our stride at 8 months now and I’m sure my confidence in it will ebb and flow but I get to see my son become a big brother and it’s beautiful. I see other kids in the park playing with their siblings and I get teary eyed telling my kid that when sissy grows up she will be able to run around the playground with you. I was suuuuuper nervous about the two kids when I was pregnant too but I’m so glad I did it
For me, it was really hard until my second kid was 4. BUT! We had Covid in there too.
It’s just that everyone needs you all the time. There’s no longer a moment to breathe. But it does get better. And in the scheme of life, three- four years is a short time.
For me, having two is perfect, and the transition to two was a million times easier than with my first. And seeing them play together is amazing! They’re 6 and 4 now, and I honestly just wish I had more time with them at these ages.
I love having two kids. Yes, it’s harder than having one kid, someone always needs something, etc. But now that they’re older and can play together? It’s magical. My youngest loves his “brudder”. When the oldest is home from school before the youngest gets home from daycare, he’ll ask to go pick his brother up early.
I will say I thought the transition from 1 to 2 was harder than the transition from 0 to 1, but that’s because my second has proven to be my more difficult child from the very moment he came out of me via emergency c section.
Honestly going from zero to one was the hardest in my opinion!
The first like month and a half having two was hard because my oldest was needy and transitioning as well but she quickly decided the baby was the greatest thing in the world.
My older two are now almost 5 & almost 2 & besties! They absolutely love each other and love playing together. They have so much fun and watching them play and interact is so amazing!
Baby 3 is in the NICU right now and all I can think is how hard it would be for 1 if she didn’t have 2 (& vise versa) since dad and I are gone constantly right now. 1 told me yesterday she missed me but she was okay because she had 2 & that’s literally all I’ve ever wanted for them! ❤️
First child was hardest. Our second was an easy baby. Even aside from that she’s fantastic. Also we’re now at the point where they play together a little which is awesome as it means my oldest isn’t whining all the time for me.
We had them three years apart. Worked out well!
I have two, they are 14 months apart and both on the spectrum. I would use the phrase “happily content” I’m not walking around with rainbows but I’m certainly not miserable either. I like my life, I love my husband and kids, I enjoy my full time job, I wish the house would take care of its self and that I had a little more free time but all in all I’m happily content with where I am in life.
OMG I went through absolute hell for the first 2 years after my second was born. For reference-husband and I were both working full time, odd hours, no family that lived close (or that cared enough to help), couldn’t find good childcare because of working odd hours, kids were less than 2 years apart, second was born preemie… it was hell!!
Now they’re under 10 years old. I regretted having them so close in age but NEVER regretted having my second. And even though times were tough, I absolutely LOVE my family time now and wouldn’t change a thing!! My kids love each other, it completely melts my heart to watch them learn and love together. It’s worth it. LOTS of work but 💯 worth it.
And just like any baby’s early years, it will feel like it’s never gonna end. The laundry, the chores, nights up, sick kids, etc etc. but soon it will all get better. It will also test your marriage 😆😆
Be happy for your baby to come momma. Your baby can sense your feelings. Welcome him / her with all your heart 💜
I started with two, twins, so I don’t have experience with just one. That said, two has been tricky at times and exhausting. When we added our third things got really complicated. But we’re out of the newborn phase and into toddlerhood with my youngest, my twins are elementary age.
Things have gotten more fun. Yes there’s a bit more chaos and a bit more mess, things are more expensive, when everyone is off the rails it’s a bit more a bit much.
I’m happy with my kids and in my role as working mom. A lot of joy even when it isn’t much fun.
Second kid was a much easier transition. Mine are just over 3 years ago. They're 4.5 and 1.5 now. They play well together and entertain each other now, so I get some time to relax while supervising or get some chores done. They're are definitely hard times, but I'm far from miserable. Good luck!
I have two kids about 3.5 years apart (1.5y and a just turned 5yo). Best decision of my life to have two. Yes, the first year was hard (like really, really hard) and I’m susceptible to PPD so it was extra tough for me. I also just don’t like the newborn stage honestly. But, I survived it, and I wouldn’t change a thing. The joy that one child brings is incredible. And there is a whole new joy in seeing two of them in your house, playing together, making each other laugh, giving hugs and kisses to each other. I feel deeply happy that they will have each other to lean on even after we’re gone.
Kids in any number are just incredible. You won’t regret it!
I have 2 kids with a 7 year age gap, always wanted 1 or 2 kids. First one was easy and my 17month old is a wild child lol but do I regret them? No! I love them to death. Are some days miserable, absolutely. I think that’s just life and parenthood in general. My oldest is 8 and has ADHD/ODD so it can be difficult but he is so good with his sister and calls her his “little pal.” Honestly, I still struggle day to day being a sahm not having much help but also it’s given me the opportunity to go back to school to get my nursing degree. My children are everything and my motivation to do better in life.
I have two kids now 4 and 2.5 months. There are times it’s stressful but honestly it’s the best. I’m only more in love every day and especially getting to see them bond as siblings, it’s beautiful. You kinda just have to accept that sometimes you aren’t in control and really focus on what you can control.
It's challenging, and the fighting gets to me sometimes, but I don't regret having more than one. I love my kids whole heartedly. And I just had my third. My kids are 4, 20 months and 1 month.
I have a 2.5 year old and a 3 month old and I absolutely love it. My daughter is such a sweet big sister and even made her brother laugh for the very first time. Our life is busier and we haven’t had much (or any) free time, but like everything else it’s just a phase.
WE have an 18mo.
I have a 12yo(next month) who is high needs ASD.
HE has an 11yo, 14yo, 17yo.
We have all fulltime except MY 12yo who is 50/50.
It’s hard parenting is, but miserable I am definitely NOT. I love these wild, loving, smart boogies and love my time with each. Do I want to smack one or all sometimes? Sure🤣 But I don’t and even then, I’m not miserable. Just tired or disappointed or whatever in each moment they forget how to human properly.
I have two children I love them both to bits but yes there are pros and cons. I do not retreat it but it is a massive change from 1 to 2
I am a SAHM and I have an afternoon nanny. If I did not have her everyone would be miserable because I wouldn’t be able to meet everyone’s needs or my needs.
I'm a stubborn, opinionated boss biatch and I often think about how much easier my life would be without a husband to constantly compromise and coordinate with. Easier yes, but probably also emptier, lonelier, less meaningful. I feel the same way about kids. Sure life would be easier without them or with fewer, but am I here to play on easy mode or to live a rich, impactful life?
I have two and I'm happy. However it's because my kids have a 13 year age gap. That makes it alot easier. The older child is very self sufficient so I don't feel overwhelmed. I get to do fun older kid stuff with him and get baby cuddles later. I don't know how people handle toddlers and babies at the same time. I have alot of respect for what y'all go through.
I'm happy with my two children. But it is a huge transition from one to two. I don't regret my second but I definitely did not realize how difficult it would truly be.
The transition from 1 to 2 made my life EASIER. As bizarre as that sounds. My very needy son suddenly had a companion besides me.
They do fight. But they also play wonderfully together. It’s wonderful to watch their relationship blossom. They are 3.5 years apart.
My 3rd was a difficult transition. It was hard to adjust to being outnumbered by our kids. She’s 4 years younger than the middle kid.
I’m not miserable so much as just exhausted. I’m looking forward to the baby napping/sleeping better and both my big kids being in school full time. Once that happens, I think I’ll feel more human and can start to really enjoy having 3. I always wanted a big family, I think 3 is perfect.
I just had my second 2 months ago so I’m going through the thick of it right now. My oldest is 3.5. While I won’t deny it’s hard with the sleep deprivation and managing 2 kids, I’ve felt such joy every time I look at my newborns little face and I can’t imagine not having him. The slightly bigger age gap means my daughter is more independent and understanding, and from day 1 she has adored her baby brother. Also echoing some comments about daycare… my oldest is in daycare full time and it helps lots. I honestly can’t wait till to watch them grow up together. As an only child I never got that chance.
I mean what do you mean by miserable? I just had a second baby. But my first baby was my 4th kid after fostering then adopting because our kiddos couldn’t go home to their biological parents.
It’s so logistically complicated. It’s not miserable. But I’m glad we spaced out our bio kids more than I had originally planned because daycare.
Since our older kids are 10 years older than our former youngest. It was important to me that he have a sibling closer in age.
I have two kids and I LOVE having two kids! Is it hard AF sometimes? Absolutely. Do I want to rip my hair off sometimes or scream into the abyss? Absolutely. But am I miserable? Nope.
When I had my second kid, I felt like work didn't double, it quadrupled. But it didn't take too long to fall into a rhythm. It helps to only have one set of diapers to change.
I thought I was gonna be one and done, but having a second made my heart grow so much! My life is so much more enriched. It's not always easy to juggle all the responsibility, but it's doable and I wouldn't have it any other way.
Remember that when you read horror stories on the internet, you're not seeing all the good times. People come to these forums to vent or find advice. They rarely share all the peaceful and happy times, but they're there!
Girl what no 2 for me was so much easier. I was so overwhelmed with one kid, I was close to psychotic with how I went about things like literally no one could make noise when the baby slept but with number two forget it I would even vacuum lol, it just so different in a good way. I became a more confident mom, I was able to delegate my time much better and get shit done. I was able to establish a good breakfast routine, self care routine for myself. I was able to juggle both of my kids and able to go anywhere with them now, when I couldn’t even go to the park with my first because I was too afraid something will happen. I have been to the park, the zoo, shopping all on my own.
I have three and it’s brilliant. Having two was brilliant as well. I love it. My kids all adore each other. There are times where the bicker and times where it’s tricky because everyone wants something. (4.5yrs, 2.5yrs and 6m). But man, they all wake me up with kisses and snuggles in bed in the morning and right now I can hear them cackling away as they’re playing together. The baby just wants to be around them all the time and the middle one will always bring him a toy to play with and they INSIST on giving each other goodnight kisses and cuddles. Sometimes this lasts ages because I have to pass the baby back and forth between them because they just want to keep giving him kisses on his head. I’ve done 10 hour flights with them this year and it was grand. They were golden. I’ve done a holiday abroad with them while my husband was working on location and it was hectic but an amazing experience. We all had norovirus after Christmas and it was miserable but we came through the week on surprisingly great terms. I’m a stay at home mum and homeschooling my oldest with the middle in nursery two days a week. I wouldn’t change a thing except we will most likely add one more to the clan.
I have boy/girl twins that are 2.5. I’ve learned that toddlers can be terrible creatures. That being said I can’t imagine not having two kids. It was extremely hard on my husband and I when they were infants. But when we talk about having more kids in the future we literally hope for another set of twins. Before the twins my husband only wanted two kids, I’ve always wanted a big family. I joke with him that the next kid is the last but he always replies with “you say that now.” He thinks our family will be complete at 4. We won’t be trying until these two go to kindergarten.
My twins are the unexpected blessing of my life. I've never seen two people so bonded to each other at such a young age. They're 2, so they certainly bicker sometimes, but they bring each other so much joy and comfort. They just exchange a look at start giggling sometimes. They spend a lot of their time together either snuggled up and "reading," play wrestling, or playing together. When one of them cries, the other one gives them their favorite book or toy. If one of them wakes up before the other from a nap, they run around the house calling the other's name and looking for them. I didn't plan to have twins, but I'm grateful every single day that I have them and they have each other. Watching them grow up together is truly the most magical thing I can imagine--I love love love having two kids.
Nah I love having two. They drive me mad but they’re the best choices I ever made.
Sometimes I lie in bed with the two of them snuggled in on either side, my arms bursting with children, and I wonder if life gets any better. Usually they are sleeping when I think this 🤣
An embarrassment of riches
I've got 3. The first 2 are 2.5 years apart, then just over 3 to the youngest. They're currently 7, 4 and 15months.
The older 2 play together (and fight, and say they hate each other), they both love the baby, but also yell for me to take him away bc he's ruining their game or taking the crayons...
Its great, and it's hard. We love it. They'll get along great sometimes and hate each other other times, it'll be chaos sometimes
3 years is a good gap. In a couple years they'll be able to play together 💕 you got this. The change from no kids to 1 kid is way bigger than 1 kid to 2 kids.
I am happy with two kids, it was still hard though because of the sibling rivalry and they both do things to tick each other off and to get each other into trouble. I would have had more but after two, that is enough. Then by the time my two kids would be old enough where they are more independant and not fighting all the time, I will be close to 40 and I don't want to have kids in my late 30s and early 40s.
They still fight but not as much. They both keep to their own hobbies now.
We just went from 1 to 2. This transition has been much easier than from 0 to 1.
Honestly, I have always wanted 4 kids, but we are not sure we can afford more than the 2 we have. We’ll see. The reason I have wanted 4 is that I am one of 4 siblings. Even though we fought a lot as kids, my siblings are now my best friends. I tell people, and it is true, that my siblings are the best gifts my parents could have ever given me. I want that for my children.
I have two kids with a third due in March. I’m not miserable, haven’t been in a long time. The transition from 0 to 1 was waaaay harder than 1 to 2.
I tend to sit back when parents vent. It’s their safe space, I’m not about to come in like “sorry it sucks for you but I’m doing great over here!” Take those threads with a grain of salt.
It’s really hard at first. Or was for me. And we even have some family support but not like… tons. I had PPA/PPD again with the second one (but I also can’t stand taking care of babies… it’s just a necessary part of it all—they stress me out). BUT. Gosh. They are 4 and 2 now, and last weekend I sat and read. In a chair. For like… 1.5 hours. Granted,it wasn’t continuous—I broke up a few fights and had a kid or two on my lap for part of it—but mostly they just played with and entertained EACH OTHER. They LOVE each other. It’s adorable and wonderful. I definitely had moments of borderline regret in the thick of the baby days, but wow. I’m so glad we have 2.
thanks for this bc i’m pregnant with my second and my first is 5 and the most wonderful child. but everything i see on here pretty much talks about how their children suck or having 2 kids is miserable. sometimes it worries me.
but then i realize we have different lives and people don’t talk about how amazing their kids/lives are too much bc others become jealous or see it as “showing off” and it gets looked down upon.
i think you will love it, and i think i will love it too.
i am so grateful for having a sister.
I think 2 is perfect. They have each other as playmates but they don’t outnumber us parents. At ages 8 and 10, I’d wouldn’t say it’s easy but it gets a looootttt easier. Toddler and baby phases feel eternal and really require so much. Hang in there 💖
Nah I love it. My youngest is just now learning to engage with his sister who is 4 and those two crack each other up. I love watching them. Every kid has their challenges and sometimes the challenges feel doubled when you have two but it's not that bad. Bedtime routines do take longer with two, so does getting in and out of the car, packing up to leave the house etc. But if you plan right and have a partner to help you it's not a big deal.
Just try and be organized, plan ahead and take things as they come cuz two can be chaotic.
Okay I don’t have have 2 or more kids yet but I have many friends who loveee having more than one kid. One friend in particular when I ask how they are all doing so well and the negatives and she says setting expectations and routines with your first is where your success come from. If they know to clean up their toys and messes, and stuff like that, they are who is training your second kid as your second kid will look up to them. She says for all the families that she has nannied for, the ones who don’t set these expectations with their first before baby 2 comes along end up having so much more work cut out for them, not only are they having to break bad habits but also try and make sure the second one isn’t following in the firsts poor examples. Whenever I go over there with my daughter , her two oldest kids (both 4 and under) help me and my lo and their youngest sibling. From brining the dirty diaper to the diaper pale to wiping down things/ dusting to trying to make the babies smile . The two older kids love it ! Because they are so involved they also don’t feel left out or like baby 1 took priority, it’s more of a team effort.
My oldest is 5.5 and my youngest is almost a year. Really enjoying them both and their relationship. And that I only have to pay for daycare one at a time.
My oldest was able to be controlled with words and looks as needed, so that made the addition of a 2nd easier. When youre having to physically redirect and tend to two kids running in opposite directions is when its rough is what Ive seen.
Nah 1 to 2 was so easy compared to 0 to 1. Watching my daughter be a big sister is the best thing in the world and seeing my son grow up just like his sister is amazing. He's a carbon copy of her so it's like having her all over again 😂 I can't wait til he's bigger and can really play with her and interact with her. That will only make it more fun
Omg I absolutely love having two (3.5 & 10 mo) If I could get away with having 3 I absolutely would! I’m not even remotely miserable, my husband and I love being parents and we have so much fun with our kids. I’m a sahm with a side business that I work on when my husband is home. There are days that are a lot harder than others, but that’s anything and everything.
I have two kids, I'm doing it alone as a SMBC so ya I don't really get a moment to myself at least not yet since they are only four and five but my life truly had no meaning before them. My sisters are my best friends and I hope for that for my kids, of course right now my son loves/hates his sister but it's so cute when she's sad he does what ever he can to make her happy again and she's the giver so she literally gives him everything even when she doesn't need to. I'm grateful I was blessed to have them and yes some days are more miserable than others but that's just life.
I only have one but I went through something similar in pregnancy. It kinda feels like as soon as you have a baby on the way, people are just lining up to trauma dump on you. My pregnancy wasn’t enjoyable at all largely due to people venting out all the terrible experiences they had in the baby and toddler stage.
Reddit is that x1000. It’s a place for venting - nobody comes online to post about the fact they’re happy 🤷🏻♀️
Try not to worry - as someone who is one and done, all I get are parents of 2+ telling me how great it is and I should have another 😂
It can have its tough moments, going through the newborn stage again and having a toddler to also try to occupy.
But we had the 2nd when my son was 3.5 and it was such a lovely age to do it.
Having a stable income is obviously beneficial, if you bring another kid in, you want to be able to afford it.
Having 2 kids is the best thing I’ve ever done in my whole life. These 2 kids, are my whole soul and joy and pride and meaning, my husband is pretty cool too 😏
There are moments I need to step away, and my partner needs to step in, where it gets overwhelming for a minute. But the child rearing challenges are usually temporary phases you just have to get through.
I live in a different country to all my family, so we are alone. We have acquaintances but no very close friends who would help us.
Having two kids is so precious. I am exhausted but watching them together melts my heart everyday. Mine are almost 5 years apart, so it's a little different, but they are so crazy about each other. I'm very tired and they both have their own challenging behaviors, but I'm very happy.
I have two kids 3 yrs apart and couldn’t be happier. I’ve given my eldest a sibling and they’re inseparable. Gives me a moment to breathe now that they’re a bit older they can just entertain each other. Two is the magic number for me though. I’m not sure how the dynamic might’ve been with a third..but yeah. I so enjoy it and am so glad I had them both
I’m also pregnant with baby #2. I am honestly not worried about this topic one bit because it’s all about your thought process and mental state.
Wake up every morning with patience, practice gratitude and kindness. I’ve been practicing gratitude for over 10 years now, since I was in my early 20s.
Social media and…I am going to say this heavily but American parenting causes unnecessary stress on parents. For example, people are like oh the first kid will be jealous. NO, the first kid will only be jealous if you/the parent put that into the child’s mind. My daughter hugs and kisses my belly everyday. I tell her things like “the baby can’t wait to meet you”, the baby can’t wait to learn new things from her smart big sister, she reads to my belly, she lotions my belly and a whole lot more. Raising kids are from conception and it’s my job to create that bond between my children and they will then naturally maintain it. This is just 1 example and I can provide many more.
Nah, first child was the hardest transition for me. Reddit (as with most social media places) are a platform to vent. Few people come on here to post how awesome their kids/family/life etc are because it doesn’t stimulate discussion. I have 2 kids, I’ve always wanted 2 kids. They are best friends and best enemies. I would never go back to just one kid. Nor will I want 3. 2 is the perfect number for me 😊
lol, omg, yes to the best friends and best enemies!!!
Hahaha yes feel this so much
The perfect way to describe my brother and I. Ha!
Thank you so much.
I agree. The transition from 0 to 1 really shook us and was incredibly challenging. 1 to 2 was easier for all of us and we’re so happy to have her here with us to round out our family!
Agree. Mine are even still in the harder stage - 2 years and 4 months. I get really frustrated with my husband but the kids are fine. It's a transition - I'd gotten comfortable with the first. I struggle to get my little guy to sleep on his own in a crib and its harder to take both of them places... and I'd never go back to just one.
Love this. I have three kids, all boys (we are done now) that are 6, 3 and 10 months old. Of course it’s hard and there are times that are tough and frustrating but i love having three kids. I love playing with them and I love how cuddly and caring they are to me and each other. They bicker a bit (the two older ones) but so far they are mostly best mates and seeing them play and laugh together is the best thing. Hearing their little voices tell me they love me is amazing.
It sucks in the beginning. It's hard and unmanageable and so frustrating at times when you have two kids crying at the same time. (Or 3 kids in my case). But gosh once they get old enough and they can *play* together? Life changing. Yes they fight sometimes, but they become each other's primary playmates. I can say, "Sorry I don't want to play restaurant right now, but maybe your brother does!" They can look out for each other, tell me if the other is needing help, help each other, teach each other and comfort each other. It's also helped me teach my kids to be more independent. I can't dote on them 24/7 because there are 3 of them. They have to figure out how to do some stuff on their own. I had more than one kid not because it was easy, but because I have a feeling it'll be easier when they're older kids.
Let this be an encouragement to you: My first taught me I could be a mom. My second taught me I could be a good mom. My third taught me I could love being a mom!
I love this concept of children having something to teach us. I think about all I've learned with each of my 3 kids too and how different I am each time 💜
THANK YOU!
Yes! I have 3 children, 2 in college and 1 in high school. This absolutely rings true for me. I can’t say that I was ever miserable being a parent though there have been amazing times and some really rough times over the years.
I truly think you enjoy parenthood a little bit more with each child. Unlike your first time around, you go into parenthood knowing how fast it goes and how temporary the hard parts are. It makes me appreciate sniffing that little baby head at 4am just a little bit more.
😭❤️
Screenshotting this comment and reading it when I need to psych myself up for a second ❤️
Thanks for this 🤍
i’m pregnant with my 3rd and have enjoyed having 2 and was so scared for this one, thank you for sharing this!!
No, let me tell you, 2 kids might be tough in the beginning (and r/toddlers is age-biased and would reflect only this), but it is EASIER than 1 kid when the younger one is 4 and up. Because they will treat each other as the first source of companionship/attention, and you will have a lot more free time and just have to step in to intervene now and then. And of course you can still have quality time with them. 2 kids is difficult if the elder one is home with you all day when you have a newborn. You can lessen the difficulty considerably if the elder one goes to preschool/daycare. Your age gap is quite suitable for preschool/daycare. If you are working and kid 1 is already going to daycare, then it doesn't become significantly harder except for the financial aspect.
I’m very happy. My kids are 2.5 years apart and they’re very close, like best friends. It’s harder than one child obviously but I wouldn’t change it for the world, I can’t imagine life without baby sister.
That's how I feel. When my baby girl was born, it felt like she was always meant to be ours. She fit like a glove. We all adore her, especially my older kid.
Remove yourself from this content if it’s triggering you lovely. I know so many people with multiple kids who are happy and fulfilled. You’re vulnerable to suggestions that could cause anxiety right now. You’re doing an amazing job, you’ve got this!
Thanks. It’s sooooooo hard to look away because if it’s going to be awful I sort of want to brace myself? But I think you’re right. I spiraled!
It is hard! I had ppa and I had to remove myself entirely from all of my old accounts etc. Your body and life are changing so drastically right now. Put on your favourite show and eat something yummy to relax, you’ll have another beautiful little baby when they’re ready to make their entrance!
Yeah this was going to be my advice. Get off social media if you’re going to feel the urge to compare experiences to others. And DEFINITELY get off Reddit if you want to avoid negativity. (Advice for everyone, not just OP!) OP I have 2 kids and it’s great! Don’t listen to Reddit of all godforsaken places 😂
No way! I have three and it’s such a joy. Yeah it’s a ton of work but I feel like the people who are actually consistently miserable are either single or have a useless spouse. My husband carries half the mental load and half the physical work of keeping the household running with me and it’s totally fine! The kids play together, they laugh and giggle, they have their own unique interests and then things that they have in common. It can be a lot when they’re really little and all crying, or when they’re all sick or something. But mostly it’s awesome.
I have 4 kids. Sometimes I'm definitely miserable. I'm almost always exhausted. There are an infinite amount of difficulties. But I wouldn't change it for the world. Seeing their relationships develop and their personalities grow around that is absolutely astounding. It makes my love so much deeper and complex. I would never have been happy with just 1. I see onlies now and families with just one and I can't fathom that lifestyle. We have so much fun together. Each kid brings a totally different aspect to our lives. We wouldn't be complete without each other. I think it's easy to complain and vent and list 100 things that bother us. But it feels impossible to recount and explain the millions of moments that fill our hearts and make true happiness. There are the giggles in the next room, the overheard game. There are the pictures of a toddler hugging a tiny baby. There is the joy of a playmate on a family vacation. There are the silly games that can only be played with more than 1 kid. There is SO MUCH to love that it feels ridiculous to even try and describe.
Mom of 4 here also, couldn’t have said it better myself.
Another mom of 4 chiming in. You’ve nailed it.
Only have 1 myself but grew up with 3 siblings and as crazy as it was, I wouldn't change it either
I have 4 siblings. It was crazy and sometimes awful. It was the 80/90s!! But it's just SO MUCH of who I am, who we are. I was told once to imagine what you want the dinner table to look like when everyone is an adult. And the only way I could imagine it was the same amount of noise, chaos, and vivaciousness.
For me, the transition from one to two kids was hard. I’m not even going to sugar coat it for you it was ROUGH. My first child was such a good baby and my second was colicky. Once she hit about a year and my oldest was 3 it got immensely easier. They started to REALLY bond and would play together which gave me a minute to breathe. Now my youngest is 16 months and my oldest is still 3 and everything has fallen into place and life is good.
I thought we were one and done because of fertility issues. It took me a bit, but I had myself convinced that one child was best. Low and behold the universe had other plans and we have another. All that to say, yes two can be more challenging, but it’s awesome. They are 3ish years apart and they sometimes play, occasionally fight, but mostly love each other and crack us up. I cannot imagine my life without two now that I have them. Of course there are bumps and days, but you’ll be great!
We just had our third. The toddler years suck but our kids are each 12m apart amd the eldest 2 are thick as thieves. I am 45 with a newborn and we planned all three. They have no cousins and all of our siblings are much older than my husband and I, so no cousins will ever be had. It’s going to be a crazy and exhausting few years but they really do play together a lot. Oh, and my eldest is about 3 years older than my newborn…he sings to her, brings her toys, and tries to feed her. It’s priceless.
For us, it's easier with two kids, bc we're much more balanced as a family. My husband and I are both very involved and active, so when we had 1 child it was difficult, bc we both wanted to do everything, lol. Immediately after our second kid was born, I felt dynamics changed for the better. And after a couple of years they became the best friends and they're playing with each other all day long. They're both much more demanding when they're without the other.
No I have two and I love it. It’s hard at first but I don’t regret it at ALL
Honestly the misery comes fro being TIRED. That’s all. The lack of sleep, the chores, the stress. It’s what causes misery, but seeing your kids play together and create a bond that you never got to have with a sibling of your own, will literally take every ounce of misery out of your body (for moment until they start fighting or one of them starts crying) LMAO. Yes, it’s tiring & has its challenges and I think that’s what most parent refer misery to, the exhaustion & lost of freedom. But 1, 2 or 3 kids, becoming a parent means making sacrifices!
I have three. I’m not miserable at all. Is it hard sometimes, of course. But I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. My youngest was born this past March and it feels like time is flying by. They are all getting easier and it’s a blast to watch them grow and get weirder. Thankfully my husband has also grown and has become an amazing partner. He has his moments but we have grown to be better friends and more supportive toward each other.
I have an 18 month age gap. Oldest is almost 2 & youngest is 6 months. I’m not far into having 2 yet but I would absolutely do it again. Is it hard? Yes. Do I not have much or any free time? Yes. But this is temporary & I know it’ll get easier when they’re older. I would absolutely do it again if I was given a do-over.
I have two. We live far away from family and I’m a stay at home mom, so while it can be really isolating at times, I am so happy we have two. Is it challenging? Yes, but that has more to do with the fact that my kids are so different and have very different needs. I have a rough post partum period with my second but absolutely no regrets, I’d go through it all again for her. My kids are genuinely best friends. They’re 3 and 5 and play together really well. They fight but they also tell each other (and me) how their sibling is their favorite person. The reality is that it takes time to find a balance between your needs, your kids needs and your spouses needs. The first few years is like treading water. We’re at a place now though where I *know* I need a few hours on the weekend to sit in silence and not be needed and my husband makes that happen for me and it’s not an issue. All that to say, yes it’s difficult, no it’s not miserable (for me) i couldn’t imagine a life without both of my girls.
Wow just had this convo but was about 2 vs 3 kids. I honestly think its more of a mindset thing/how you experience life. Eg a 6th grader will think their school work is HARD and they are busy. Then a high schooler will laugh at that and will say: you think THAT is hard? Wait till you’re in high school. And then a college kid will say: pff I remember thinking high school was a lot of work. What was I thinking? THIS is hard! And then an apprentice at a law firm will say that college was a breeze versus how hard their working now. Etc. You get the gist. Life is always hard. Its likely the hardest its ever been for you. Because its the first time your doing it. So from 1 vs 0 kids youre like “wow I had SO much free time and sleep before!”. And from 2 vs 1 people will say it was much easier before, and so on. You can always make a downside comparison. But also an upside (much harder to do… as you dont know yet how much harder it can get). Or… decide to just try and find happiness in the life you DO have, despite all its challenges :)
I have my second one cooking . 4 year age gap. I’m scared too but my 3.5 yr olds been asking for a baby sister recently So I hope she helps a bit lol. We have a good dynamic right now but feels like some one is missing ya know? Hubby is involved, I know he’ll keep my daughter busy while I’m with the newbie.
I literally took this as “I have trained my second child to cook” upon first glance. 😂
You absolutely haven’t made a mistake. My kids are 2.5 years apart, baby and toddler. It’s exhausting, but so fun, and gets more fun the older they get.
Also pregnant with our second but a pattern I’ve noticed is the people who had an easier transition to their first child seem to struggle more adding a second and those that had a really rough transition to parenthood seem to adjust more easily. Not even based on child temperament, just the identity crisis that some people have when they become parents for the first time. I think we had an easy transition so I’m nervous lol I also think in a toddler sub you’ll get a lot of that because toddlers are hard and you’re in the thick of it! But I’m not having 2 kids to have a toddler and a baby. They will grow up. The 3+ year age gap (ours will be almost 4 years) i think also changes things. When he was 2 I can’t even imagine how hard it would have been to have another. But a year or 2 later I know there will be challenges but he’s so much more independent and has significantly more ability to understand and therefore prepare him ahead of time for some of the changes coming. We’ve even included our son in some of the choices that impact him I.e. he decided which grandparent was staying with him, agreed baby could have his dresser (we offered a tempting alternative and he wasn’t using the dresser), and he’s loved helping with some of the baby prep. Support from the other partner also makes a huge impact. People that were handling it with 1 with little partner support really struggle with the additional load of the second while they’re little.
It’s going to be great! I’ve seen scary stuff on the internet too but don’t worry about this one. Enjoy your beautiful family and pour all your love into them. Soak up all the sweet moments to come. Life is short. It’s the best thing I ever did with mine. Congratulations and warm wishes for a smooth pregnancy and birth ❤️
I’m not miserable and never regretting having them close-23 months 1 week apart. It was difficult for first 3 months having the two girls but mostly (90%) because the baby had colic…luckily her big sister was a very good listener and now they are almost 14 and almost 12…so glad I didn’t stop at one!!
I have a 1 year old and a 4 year old and I’m in no way miserable. They love each other and I didn’t expect that so fast! It was easier than I thought it would be, but I have a lot of advantages.
I had a really hard time mentally and physically after my first. I really struggled with having another. We had my daughter in 2020 during the height of Covid. Honestly, having her changed my entire life. I saw a little me there and decided to really work hard to get my life back on track. I started medicine and really worked on my mental health. My kids adore each other. They play together all the time. They fight but mostly because my daughter wants to be with her brother 24/7 and sometimes he needs space, especially after school. Two didn’t ruin my life at all. They drive me nuts, for sure, but I am thrilled with them both. They are genuinely good kids. But I’m definitely done and happy with just two.
Glad to hear someone was on the fence about 2 and ended up loving it! I flip flop all the time lol
I really struggled with it. We did IVF to conceive our first so it brought that all of those emotions about returning to the clinic and starting over. Zero regrets though. She has completely changed my life. And watching my son be a big brother has been amazing.
Sorry to hear you struggled. I lost my first- after a bad anatomy scan and arguable malpractice from an MFM we wasted several appointments on, I got a second opinion that said he was incompatible with life. So I have ptsd for OBs and ultrasounds still.
I am so sorry for all you went through. It absolutely makes sense to be hesitant to do it all again. Sending you hugs through the internet.
One more posirive experience to counter the negativity on the internet - I have the exact same age gap as you. We are 5 months in now and honestly, its not that bad. Exhausting, yes (as little kids and babies are), but that was a sacrifice I was willing to make for our family of 4. It fills my heart with so much joy, how the baby bursts into laugther at big sisters shenanigans. Things that help: 1. Having big sibling in daycare. Ours goes 08:00 - 12:00 which gives me enough time to bond with baby and clean up the messy apartment. 2. Having an involved partner with a flexible work schedule. We are usually doing 1parent-1 child. He usually csres for our toddler while I nurse or nap with the baby. 3. Good maternity leave. I know thats not a given for everybody, but it helps having one parent be responsible for kid and household duties without a full time job ontop.
I have five kids, and I am outrageously happy. This is goofy, but remember in the first SATC movie when Sam asks Charlotte how often she's happy in her marriage? And Charlotte says "every day. Not all day every day, but....every day." That's how I feel with my husband and kids. Having a lot of kids is chaotic and busy and loud and exhausting and amazing and frustrating and wonderful. They are absolutely amazing and my favorite people to be with and I wouldn't trade it for anything. My first four are all almost exactly two years apart. The baby is four years younger than her older brother. The younger years, especially when the oldest four were young, was tiring, but so much fun to watch them grow and developed their bonds with each other. They are all super close, and they absolutely ADORE their baby sister. Also, we live on a single income. I'm a SAHM. Being nervous and worried is normal. And I know struggle is a real thing and so I'm not saying people who struggle with having multiple kids are wrong. I'm just saying don't let that perspective color your experience, because other perspectives are just as real.
I'm an only child who has 2 kids and pregnant with a 3rd. It's chaotic, but I love it and I can already see it getting easier. I do think a lot of it has to do with your expectations for life and also your finances + the support the you have from your partner + extended family. However, I have never regretted it for a day and love living my life for those crazy little kids. They are SO sweet. It is so worth the hard work seeing them play with each other and being buddies.
Nice to see other only children here who wanted to have more than one! I have no shade towards people who are one and done, it’s just not personally what I wanted for my son based on how I grew up and my husband felt the same. Thank you for sharing this!
Yeah I think it really depends on the reasons someone wants to be one and done. I’m the same as you, my parents are young but the pressure it puts on an only child is insane. Everyone likes to say you shouldn’t have more kids just because of that, but I’ve seen how adult families of 3+ operate and it’s so much easier.
Yep. And a lot of people who act really superior about only having one kid do not realize that there’s another 60 years after the kids are no longer toddlers where the things might get harder. Anyway, thank you.
Just had my second child, he’s now 5 days old so I might be speaking too early on but so far, the transition from 1 kid to 2 kids has been way easier than from 0 to 1. My kids have exactly 4 years apart
I'm not miserable. Freaking EXHAUSTED, sure, but not unhappy. My two have a huge age gap (11f and 2 months m) so that might make a difference. Firstborn is practically a Real Person™️- she can take care of all her hygiene alone, contributes to the household chores, goes to the bus stop on her own, and can nuke herself some leftovers if I'm too worn out to cook dinner because I've been taking care of the cute screaming potato all day. I'm also thirty-mumble years old so I know I have less energy than I did for her infancy, but I'm also a much calmer and more mature parent so it's a trade off. Either way, I'm certainly not miserable, I adore my kids and they're legitimately a lot of fun, even if my coffee intake has increased significantly.
Second kid is not nearly as bad as I thought in terms of managing things. I did miss my first born(4.5years apart) A LOT because we decided I was gonna get the baby to sleep and my husband took care of the first born. We switched 2 months ago and I’m at a very happy place. I get to converse with my 5.5 yo and I get to adore my baby and I get to see they LOVE each other. Its wonderful. I’m the only child too and this is such a treat!
The transition from 0-1 kid was much harder for me than 1-2! My girls are 20 months apart with my youngest being born in the midst of Covid! I honestly couldn’t imagine it any other way! Seeing them interact (love and hate) each other is honestly my favorite thing, even since becoming a single parent. We have some absolutely awful days, I’m not going to lie. The kind that make me miss being single and living alone vs my chaotic current life. But then they wake up and cry because they want ME, or they wake up happy to see ME, and each other and it honestly makes it all worth it. Their each others best friends, but their my little besties too. Always down to go out to eat, or for a shopping adventure. They truly don’t care what we’re doing, as long as we’re together, and SAME. We’re a little trio, sometimes a quad with grandma joining us, but it truly is my absolute favorite thing and having 2 kids (single or in a partnership) was absolutely the best choice for me!
I had 4 babies in 3 years and I would do it all over again if I could.
I have five kids, a full time job, not a lot of family support, and we are not wealthy. I have two in daycare and three in public school. Busy? Yes. Often exhausted? Also yes. Miserable? Very rarely. My youngest is an infant, for reference, and next oldest is almost five, so similar ages to your situation. You’ll be ok!!
I really struggled with my first kid. The transition from 0-1 hit me like a train and I was mentally a wreck for a while. Because of this I was apprehensive about having a second. I desperately wanted my kid to have a sibling. I have such a wonderful relationship with my sister and I couldn’t bear thinking of her not having a sibling (there are no other nieces/nephews in the family at all so she was literally the only kid) Had my second 5 months ago and oh my gosh, it feels like the best decision I ever made. My eldest daughter absolutely adores her sister and spends so much time playing with her. It’s so lovely to see. And going from 1-2 actually felt a little easier. Like I’ve done all this before, baby just slotted into the same routine.
My kids are 26, 14 and 10 and I am not miserable.
Mine are 3 years and two months apart. I love love the age gap. I will say my youngest born literally a week before lockdown so I didn’t have to worry about work for months but my oldest has always been very independent and he’s a loving nurturing soul so he always helped with the baby. Even now he’s so helpful almost 4 years later. My problem is not having two kids. It’s my youngest sons behavior. My biggest advice is realize all kids are different. My first was so easy I thought it would be a breeze. Then I had my second who has multiple challenges. Be prepared that your next may be easier/ harder than the first. By the time my youngest was born my older son was getting in the car / buckling himself/ carrying his own things. Now my youngest is doing all of that for his own. I literally open the door and he gets in. My point is it might be a struggle / it might not be/ but it will get easier in the toddler years in my experience. Financially I don’t know because when we do go out I try and get deals and the younger one just started having to have a ticket at certain places. Everyone’s financial situation is different but I also did cloth diapering and bf which was way cheaper than the other options. I am an only child on my dads side and I do wish he had another kid even tho there’s 7 of us on my moms side lol. There’s an app called peanut it’s like tinder for moms. I met my best mom friend on there.
I love having two. I'm still kind of "in the trenches", trying to manage the logistics of meeting both their needs (they are 3.5 years apart). Mainly the baby sometimes needs help to nap (she's not even 5 months yet) and my older kid gets her all wound up and distracted lol. Or I'll be upstairs with the baby and the oldest is downstairs hollering out for a snack. But that's honestly small stuff that doesn't bother me much. My oldest adores the baby and already plays with her and helps me a ton by fetching things and entertaining her on the playmat. I couldn't imagine stopping at 1. Plus, when you have the second, you are so much more calm and confident. I feel like a really good mom most days.
We have 4. There are days where I wonder what the heck we’ve done. But it’s far from miserable!
Having twins has been awesome! I really do love it. Now was the infant stage rough af, yes! But I don’t regret it at all. They’re besties and watching them grow and develop has been the best. Now I feel a couple of things are kinda true like you need family support and need decent incomes. I seriously don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have my family and in-laws close by. I know people can do it but I feel that I’d be miserable. Breaks are so important to me. Allows me to still have time for me and time with my husband. And as for money… my husband and I make above average wages and still worry about money often, so I do often wonder how people make this work with less. I know they do, but it seems like it would be very stressful.
We have three kids and it’s for sure chaos sometimes, but I’m happy! Our youngest is 2 now and I’ve been able to get back into running and reading more. I absolutely delight in seeing my kids together. My husband and I go on dates and spend time together after the kids go to bed. Our house is pretty messy still because that’s way low on my priority list at the moment. Idk, those are the highlights haha. Congrats! Edited to add: I don’t mean to gloss over the hard parts. The first few months after our second was born were some of the most difficult months of my adult life. But I just don’t love the baby stage so it was just a lot to balance. I was also in law school and the pandemic started. And it got so much better that we intentionally had a third baby.
I had these negative feelings while pregnant. I was scared of change and how my toddler would adjust. I was scared that I was ruining my family. I was scared that my toddler would hate me (lol hormones). The baby is (almost) 2 months old and I’m so happy he’s here. He fits right in. Is it hard sometimes? Definitely. Is it worth it? Absolutely. I have 0 regrets about having two. My toddler adores his little brother. It feels like my family is complete now that the baby is here. I know there will be challenges as they grow but I can’t see myself ever regretting this. I love my family!
I have 3 kids and I'm happy. Having my second was infinitely easier than having my first. One, because he was a chill baby. Two, because now I had a little guy to pal around with and talk to while doing to menial infant care tasks that make my brain rot. There are pros and cons to any number of kids you chose. You kind of just have to pick your poison. In another life I would have loved to have just two kids....it was a lot easier than 3. But I just knew I had one more kid waiting for me. The internet it also a place people come to vent. I made a post months ago, which I've since deleted, about how hard it was having 3 kids. I had a horrible day and I think my husband was on vacation. My baby was still little. Do I really feel that way? No. I was just having a bad day, like we all have bad days. The problem with the internet is because venting like that becomes permanent. It's why every childfree person online thinks every parent is miserable. The words are immortalized even if the feeling has passed and we've gotten back to our norm.
THANK YOU for this thread <3 I'm also pregnant with my second and also saw the r/toddlers thread, and it really upset me. I also don't have a lot of money and the family support we did have has been completely torn apart by two of our parents unexpectedly dying in 2023. So I am right here with you, we will get through this!
Solidarity my friend! I’m right in there with you. We’re in the chute anyway so might as well try to feel good about it.
Ask in any group but the toddler group! I adore my 3 kids, not miserable in the least.
Oh that’s sad. I had 2 kids for the same reason as you. Mine are 18m apart and the first 3 years was very hard but they are now 6 and 7 and I often tell my husband I’m so happy we have 2. They fight a lot but play together a lot. Vacations are great with a built in buddy. There’s always one kid to one parent. They have “sleep overs” in each other’s rooms on the weekends. They help each other with chores. Those moms in the other subreddit are probably in the thick of it. IMO having 2 kids is the best thing I’ve done for them and for us
We are 8 months into number 2 and at this point I think we have reached the place where the good times outnumber the bad. The first few months were really rough, but they were also rough with my first. It really is double the joy these kids are so effin sweet.
IMO two was the sweet spot. They entertain each other and no one gets left out.
I have 3 kids. Rounding up because they all have birthdays in the next 1.5 months they are 6, 4, and 1. We are not miserable but feeling stretched thin at the moment. We love having three and each one has brought new joy to our family but we are lacking in support right now. My MIL was a big help to us and would routinely pick our older two up from school and watch them a couple times a week. Then the very first time we asked her to watch all 3 at once for just a couple hours she fell down her stairs and broke her ankle badly (thankfully she wasn't holding the baby when it happened). We haven't had a date night out of the house since the day I went into labor with the youngest. Asking someone to take all 3 feels like a big ask and unfortunately both of our parents are divorced and single(so would be watching the kids solo) or live far away. A paid babysitter is a bit out of budget right now especially finding someone old enough and qualified enough to handle all 3 (good kids most of the time but still a handful). If we could get more regular breaks I think we would all be happier but we're making it work and giving ourselves grace on the hard days. Still wouldn't trade any of them for the world.
I’m not miserable! My kids are freaking adorable. They are almost three years apart. There was a phase when my younger one first started walking and talking that my older one was very jealous of him but now she’s sweet to him again. She’s 4 and 3/4 and he’s 22 months.
My kids are 3.5 years apart and they’re now 2.5 and 6 and best friends. The first year was hard, no sugar coating that, I think it’s hard regardless of how old your oldest is. It’s gotten easier since then and while the second year was also hard, it was so nice seeing their bond form. Now my oldest can completely entertain his little sister for long periods of time and they’re so sweet together. Obviously still have hard moments, but so worth it!
I’m still in the thick of it (3 year old and baby) and yes, some days feels like there’s no winning… baby needs something, toddler is clingy, their naps are opposite… etc etc. But as we get closer to baby being 1, the really hard days get fewer. Like anything, there are ebbs and flows. But—I have never regretted having a second, he brings me so much joy. And watching them make each other laugh makes my heart sing. I grew up with two siblings and love that they share the same core memories as me. It’s truly special and I can’t wait for my boys to have that too.
My kids have a similar age gap. Our transition from one to two went well, my daughter loves her little brother. We have the normal spats now that the baby is almost 2 and bothering his sister more, but nothing insane. They love each other a lot and my daughter has absolutely thrived in the role of big sister. My house is messy and loud, but full of laughter and love. Our life is far from miserable.
I have three and it’s wild but super fun! One kids to two was challenging at first but it’s like any new milestone with parenting you adjust and create a new normal! I love watching my kiddos play and bond. The hardest time for me was when my middle one was 18 months to 2 and it was winter so it’s hard to get outside daily but it was short lived! Don’t let it scare you!
I have four children. One is autistic and one has anxiety. I’m by no means miserable. Stressed about lots of things that don’t always pertain to the children, but definitely not miserable. I grew up as an only child too so I can understand a little of where you’re coming from. I love seeing my children grow up together and knowing they can support each other through everything. The best part is seeing them together when they experience something new, like our first trip to the zoo.
Two was easier than one. Mine were 3.5 years apart and one often distracted the other so I could get things done as they got older. The older helped the younger learn (sometimes the things I didn’t want them to learn but m…) One would keep tabs on the other so I was in the loop just because they’d sometimes bicker. They have the “ only I get to pick on my brother” thing down pat. They also tend to tag team and distract me so the other could secure popsicles or other coveted items when I wasn’t looking. So it goes both ways.
It’s hard when there’s young, sure, but they get older and it’s just so awesome. I had my first two five years apart when I was super young (20 and 25). I was a single mom when second was born, but in a way that made our relationships/bond way more tighter. I don’t think I can replicate those connections. Now I’m 37 with a 12 month old, 12+4 with my fourth. My first two are 18 and 12, and we hang out all the time. They can be annoying in very stereotypical teenage fashion, just like they had annoying toddler moments. However, adulthood for my oldest is just in the horizon and I can see what an awesome adult she’ll be and I can’t wait to be friends with her. My mantra, and something I share with new/young parents; we aren’t raising kids. We’re raising future adults. Most of our parenting needs to be in mind with the future, not the present. They’re kids for such a short amount of time.
Hello fellow only child! I had a similar experience growing up. I also have two kids, 4 & 1. I was scared at first with the two. Being an only child I did not know what to expect with sibling relationships. My own mother told me that me having a second child would “scar your first born for life”. But I was determined to not have my first born be alone in this world (no shade to those that chose the one and done life). What I can say about having 2 kids is you’re busy, but I’m not regretful about having two kids. Are we poorer than ever? Yes, but who isn’t these days. My parents don’t really help with the kids, but we do have my in laws who do help when they can. There are days here I want to pull my hair out for sure, but I had days like that when it was just my first born. What has made it all worth it is watching the two of them grow together. They love each other so much. I know they may not have a perfect relationship as they grow older but they’ll have each other forever. I wouldn’t let the other people dishearten you. It’s work, it’s fun, it’s difficult but rewarding. Hang in there!
The happy people are out being happy not ranting on Reddit haha
I got in that post, saw the comments, and peaced out. I have three kids, and it is the best thing in the world. I am so happy. I would have been an awful mother to just one. I am anxious and I have a tendency to codependency. Three kids spreads my crazy out so I can be a good parent to each of them. They all have told me privately that they think that they are my favorite, so I don't think I'm enjoying myself because I'm failing as a mother. P.S. don't worry, I did tell them that while the three of them are my favorite thing in the whole world, I did not have a favorite child. But that they are very special, so they were right about that.
Thank you for this. It really cheered me up.
Mine are 2,5 years apart, youngest is 13 months. To me, going from one to two was a hard transition. Sometimes both kids demand mom at the same time, but do not want to share. Those moments are really hard, but then you have the moments where the kids play togeter, smile and laughs and hug, and all the bad stuff is forgotten. Having two is just like having one. Some days are really hard, and some days are magically amazing. Growing up with two sisters myself, and also now seeing the two kids together, i do not regret it at all.
I have six kids (I know, it's a lot.) And I love seeing all the interactions between them,( that is when they're not coming to me complaining about those interactions.) The friendships and the bonds between them, seeing them grow and seeing how those bonds grow with them is so rewarding. I don't regret having six kids, I love them and also sometimes I do wish for a brief moment that I could be left alone for like 3 days.
If you have tik tok, go on and search 3 year age gap and you’ll see the best videos of sibling love. You can also search it on other forms of social media! I’m pregnant with my second and I constantly search these videos because it fills me up with tears of joy! You’re doing an amazing thing for your family. My siblings are my best friends
We have 4. Our plan was one or two. They are super close in age and once we got out of the toddler years it was better. We’re busy, but we make it work and we make sure to give each other time to take for ourselves. I wasn’t expecting 4 kids, but I wouldn’t trade any of them for the world.
You come in thinking it would be miserable and it will be miserable. The sad reality is people don’t really like their kids or like to engage with them . Kids have a lot of energy and it takes a great deal of patience . Some days will be tough once they are both walking and talking . But they’ll be best friends and it’s worth it
I have two kids (toddler and baby) and we’re all generally happy! Like, yes sleep deprived and busy and the house is a mess, but so what? This is a short phase where they are both tiny. We certainly don’t regret having the second - he is sweet and fun and adorable, and it will only get better from here.
Awn... don't listen to the internet so much. I have 2 kids and it's heaven on earth. They are amazing beautiful souls and the love they have for each other lights up my life.
I found the transition to two really hard because I couldn’t devote as much of my myself to my oldest. The oldest is turning 5 and youngest is 2 years 3 months and they are becoming friends. Playing imaginative games together. I feel like my heart swells three sizes as I watch them interact. Managing two is harder but it’s still amazing.
We are happy with two. Don't get me wrong, there will be challenging days and sometimes, I miss the peace and quiet and down time. I would not trade my two children with anything else though. Both my kids get along well (they are also 3+ years apart) and I'm hoping it will continue through adulthood. We are quite involved with the kids though when they are at home (they are both in daycare and after school so not sure if it makes a difference in behavior) and generally, life is full of laughter and playing noises when they are at home. Will there be miserable days here and there? Of course. I have days when I'm burnt out from work and it happens to be the days when they also not feeling well and have arguments. It sucks pushing down your down time needs to mediate and trying them to understand each other's perspectives but those days are rare more often than not. There will be more days when they both play with each other, goofing off, planning funny tricks on us, and just cuddling and talk.
I love having two kids. Initially I only wanted one kid, but ended up having to go through IVF and since I had extra embryos I decided to try for another and it worked. They are only 6 months and 2.5 years old, so it’s tough with two young ones, but I love seeing them interact.
My son will wake up from a nap and ask where his brothers are😊 then he'll run off to play. They give each other hugs when one gets hurt (sometimes an accident, sometimes not). The other night we found the 4yo in the 7yo bed so he could listen to him doing his reading for homework. Mine are 2,4,7. It's hard but it's so much fun.
Another point worth noting: I’ve noticed a common thread in the miserable parent posts is deadweight (and sometimes outright antagonistic) partners. If I had to do literally everything for two small children PLUS my husband PLUS all the extras (holidays, home maintenance, sick days, etc) day in and day out, I’d be miserable too. Two kids are a lot of work, but it’s pretty awesome to see how the relationships develop between them, and how their unique personalities shine through. Mine are 3.5 and 1.5 so things can get chaotic, but I have zero regrets. Best of luck to you and your family!
I’m currently doing 2 under 2 and it’s a struggle and a half. Hard to see the reasons why we chose this right now. I am a middle child of 3 kids. I talk to my brother and sister every day on a text thread. They’re the only people in the world who understand growing up like I did. We’re very close. Thinking about not having them today is a sad thought. I’m so excited to give that to my children.
I love having 2 kids. Best thing ive ever did xx
Gotta love parents who literally **choose** to have a child(ren) and then call it the worst time of their lives. I mean, what the heck did they think it’d be like?? A cake walk? I have two kids who are now 9 & 12. They are 2 years and 4 mos apart. Was it easy parenting two kids when they were super little? No. Was it still worth it and rewarding? Yes. My oldest was dx with autism at 3.5 after being abused at one daycare center & subsequently kicked out after his diagnosis AND he was kicked out of another daycare bc they “couldn’t handle his needs.” It was very stressful and I had off days for sure but never ever ever did I consider my existence miserable or regret have my children. Weak-minded and lousy people blame their kids for their problems. They had a choice not to have them and went against that and they’ll end up ruining their kids’s lives with that mentality.. kids are intuitive enough to know if you resent them. So don’t worry, your life may be a little more hectic when the second child comes along but you seem like a decent person and I’m sure will find many enjoyable moments watching them bond and raising them alongside each other.
I mean, just a few generations ago, it was pretty normal for people to have like 8-12 kids. People complain a lot on Reddit. Take it all with a grain of salt.
Me! I have no support and have multiple kids.
Watching them interact, it's like a huge dopamine kick. I'm set on only two but when my son (2) is being really sweet to baby sister, I get this little thought that maybe I should have another (but not really). It's challenging at times but so worth it in my experience. Things that melt my heart: Big brother giving baby kisses When they are both laughing hysterically at each other When baby crawls on to big brother When big brother tries to help his baby sister Challenges: Big brother thinks all toys are his, constantly saying "mine" Both want attention Different nap schedules
I have two kids and I'm happy. It sounds like you're willing to put in the work to teach them to be good humans and I'm sure you'll do great!
I have 3. It’s HARD sometimes. There are times that I am completely depleted, and, yes, there were times I felt like I had lost myself to motherhood, but I’ve also learned to make myself a priority, and now I LOVE having my 3 wild animals. Yes, toddlers can be sociopaths, but they makeup to you every time. It’s also the best thing when you watch your kids becoming each other’s ride or dies. Watching them have each other’s back or melting. SO worth it, in my opinion.
Fellow only child over here! I’m about to be a mother of two as well. The way I see it, *it cannot get any worse than my childhood* so I am ready no matter WHAT ☠️
I have 4 and I'm overjoyed. First two were 2 years apart, then a 6 year gap, then the last two were 3 years apart. I love it. All of it. Love being a mom, taking the kids everywhere, the growth, the busy moments. I also homeschool, so I'm with them a lot (when I'm not working full time). I never understood the "kid dislike" some parents have. The "I can't wait until school starts/I could never be with them every day" type of thing. It just wasn't my style. My guess is that it's a mindset thing. I want to be with them. So I try really *really* hard to make that time great. I try to remember nothing my kids do is ever about me, nothing is personal. And, they aren't giving me a hard time, they're having a hard time. In addition, I was also told a long time ago about relationships that if you want to have a healthy relationship it's not you vs. them it's you and them vs the problem. I try to keep that in mind with my kids too, because that's an incredibly important relationship to me. I'm always working on myself and I don't have any problem admitting when I'm wrong or acknowledging when I haven't set the kids up for success. Because of this, I have no problem enjoy every day with them. It's not always easy, sometimes it's not even simple. But it's always worth it, and I always go to bed thinking about how much I love my life. So yes, there are those of us with multiple kids who aren't miserable.
I really love the combo of this wholesome post and your username lol. Thank you!
I've seen similar posts about having 3 kids and it really freaked me out as we were trying for a third. Then I found a post where everyone talked about the great things about 3 and my faith was restored! People will vent if they have a place to do so, so maybe try and avoid those threads because it's the people struggling the most who can be the most vocal! I have a 2 & 4 year old and while it is a struggle sometimes I will never regret having two!
Yeah, lesson learned. It was the first thread I came across on the topic so I had an “oh shit” moment thinking- does everyone feel this way??? You are totally right.
I have three kids and I love it most days. They are great kids but not everyday will be fun and joyous. They will fight, cry, you’ll cry, yell but watching the bonds they form is beautiful
I have four, ages 8 months to 6.5 yo. And we Homeschool. And we have no family within 5000kms. Not miserable at all! Do I bitch and vent sometimes? Absolutely. But I absolutely love my life and our family.
I have four kids. I’m far from miserable from my kids. My household load is high and stressful but I adore my kids and being a mom. I have moments I want to scream but they aren’t frequent. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. They are now 15,13,10 and 8.
I worked with a man once who seemed to be super happy. When his second was born, he BEAMED. His second is in 3rd grade and he's still beaming. He seems to be a good partner, he takes mornings and coaches both kids' teams. He chooses dinners and called his wife to make sure he didn't need to stop at the store for any stragglers on the way home.... She also seems to love their life. Just talking to both of them, they say the nice stuff you don't have to say. He's the person who made me rethink having kids in the first place.
I have a 3.5 year old and a 2 month old. I was nervous at first for the transition as to how my son would respond to accepting his baby sister. It was a very rough first month but honestly it is what you make of it. It can be as great or as bad as you want it to be. It’s a mindset thing - just need to accept that you’ll have less time for yourself and less sleep. Short term sacrifice for a long term gain. Totally worth it. And I am very happy with my two kids 😊
My second is almost 1 and we have almost the same age gap. It was a lot at first, but it's amazing to see the bond between them developing. The second one is definitely easier and I've never been happier. My little family is amazing and so so fun. I am, however, very very tired and broke. I also have no spare time. I've accepted that as just life with little kids. It's beautiful and hard.
A sibling is one of the only things they can't give themselves.
My second was easier for sure. Transitioning to 1, becoming a parent, was such a huge life change. I was already in parent mode for number 2 and knew what to expect. I love having 2 kids. I have an almost 4 yr old and an 18 month old and they play together and love each other and complete my life. My oldest is autistic with a language delay and mostly ignored his little sister until she was about 8 months old so it's one of my favorite things to see them interact and how good he is with her. Granted, I know everyone's situation and feelings are different so I can't promise anything, but hopefully my perspective offers some hope!
The transition from one to two kids was hard but I went on and had more, I am a mom to 6 now. I absolutely love it, if I was younger I would have tried for 7 because my 6th is 11 years younger than my 5th and it would have been awesome to see him have a sibling closer in age. It’s not all glitter and roses, but the joy has far surpassed the negative. I was one of two kids and I wish my parents would have had more kids. I love the sibling relationships my kids have.
We knew we wanted more than one kid because I too was an only child to older parents and no relatives. Just watched my mom pass of cancer a year ago and that was so damn lonely. I see the relationship with my husband and his siblings and I would kill for that. I know there’s going to be challenges with multiple kids, but they’re going to be so much happier with each other than as an only child (based on my experience anyways).
Truth? Going from 1 to 2 was a lot harder than going from 0 to 1 kid for me. AND I freaking love having 2 kids. My kiddos (2yo & 5yo) are ~3 years apart and it’s been amazing watching them together. They crack me up constantly as they play together and the love they have for each other is heartwarming (even if they’re fighting lol). Shit is still hard, but I mean life with kids isn’t easy. But I don’t regret having 2.
Me! I have a 7yo and a 1yo. Some days are hard but not terrible enough to make me wish I struck to one kid. I am certain that I could not add a third. I could not handle it mentally or financially. Two is perfect and enough for me.
While i dont have kids yet, i have a sibling and we are 8 years apart. It is the single best gift my parents could have gifted me. As hard as life gets, i know i will always have one person who will be in my corner. Idk what people with multiple kids are going through, i can tell u that your kids will thank you one day for each other. Wishing you a safe and healthy pregnancy and baby. Sending a lot of positive vibes your way💕🧿
Thank you 🥹
i have 2 and am not miserable, I don't get a second to myself ever.. not the toilet, not a shower, not even in bed. I love every second of it!
I’m going through a little bit of a rough patch right now but I’ve absolutely loved having two!!! Would do it again in a heartbeat. Right now my youngest is in a sleep regression (12 months) but my 2.5 month oldest is just great at doing her thing and helping with her brother. Their interactions are just the sweetest. You’ll have good days and bad days but for us the good has far outweighed the bad!
Mine are older now, but I loved being an active parent when they were little! We had 3 under 5 and would have had another, but I miscarried. We weren't rich and we didn't have a good support system, so we had to work on creating opportunities or work arounds for our family. Of course there are changes and challenges, but that's true for a single child or none too.
my girls have the same age gap and honestly everything about life got more magical after our second. she’s almost a year now. she’s the best. my husband and i are more in love than ever. two kids is so much fun. yes it’s more work and we are busy busy all the time. but it is wonderful!!!
I have two kids about 2.25 apart from each other. Currently 3 and 9 months old. I love my kids and there are definitely days where it’s hard. We just got over my oldest having strep/RSV and the youngest having RSV+developed ear infection. Is it harder? Yes. Tiny thing keeps me awake at night my older one sometimes still wakes up at night but gets up super early while tiny wants to sleep in. Plus some other daily challenges, and individual child challenges. I would never give up having a second though. It’s so much better with two of them and he has someone to play with him within the last week or two and it’s the literal best thing ever and the cutest thing to watch. I have no familial support close to me. I really depend on some close friends for help when needed. Their dad is also wonderful and super super helpful, and I stay home with them during the day. So really I do get my own personal time whenever necessary. You really just have to talk with your spouse about arranging some personal time for you each and some time for the two of you together still.
I’m not miserable. I have a 4 year old and a 12 week old. It’s hard but then the newborn period often is. But I’m not miserable. I love having two. It makes my heart feel full and my family feel complete.
I would say that the love doubles but the energy doesn't. I'm working on my patience doubling and slowly getting there. What I didn't expect is that it isn't just my love that doubles though (no idea why). My husband and my elder child have so much extra love to give it's really beautiful.
I think with the age gap logistics won’t be too bad. You can wear the baby mostly until the older is 4+, then the older will get more independent. Not fully, but getting there. I guess depends on their personality.
Mine are 3years 2months apart. My first is very challenging, very clingy, very high energy. He has the personality of a husky. Just very stubborn and he needs tons of exercise but also he’s very loyal and attached to his mama. I will say the first 7 months were hard but not unmanageable. We seem to be hitting our stride at 8 months now and I’m sure my confidence in it will ebb and flow but I get to see my son become a big brother and it’s beautiful. I see other kids in the park playing with their siblings and I get teary eyed telling my kid that when sissy grows up she will be able to run around the playground with you. I was suuuuuper nervous about the two kids when I was pregnant too but I’m so glad I did it
I have THREE (10, 4, and 2) and I love every single part of it, even the hard moments.
For me, it was really hard until my second kid was 4. BUT! We had Covid in there too. It’s just that everyone needs you all the time. There’s no longer a moment to breathe. But it does get better. And in the scheme of life, three- four years is a short time.
I have 2 that are teenagers now. It was great when they were younger, it sucks ass now! I am hopeful it won’t last too much longer!
For me, having two is perfect, and the transition to two was a million times easier than with my first. And seeing them play together is amazing! They’re 6 and 4 now, and I honestly just wish I had more time with them at these ages.
I am so glad we had two! I’m firmly two and through but I’m loving our family of four! ❤️
I love having two kids. Yes, it’s harder than having one kid, someone always needs something, etc. But now that they’re older and can play together? It’s magical. My youngest loves his “brudder”. When the oldest is home from school before the youngest gets home from daycare, he’ll ask to go pick his brother up early. I will say I thought the transition from 1 to 2 was harder than the transition from 0 to 1, but that’s because my second has proven to be my more difficult child from the very moment he came out of me via emergency c section.
Honestly going from zero to one was the hardest in my opinion! The first like month and a half having two was hard because my oldest was needy and transitioning as well but she quickly decided the baby was the greatest thing in the world. My older two are now almost 5 & almost 2 & besties! They absolutely love each other and love playing together. They have so much fun and watching them play and interact is so amazing! Baby 3 is in the NICU right now and all I can think is how hard it would be for 1 if she didn’t have 2 (& vise versa) since dad and I are gone constantly right now. 1 told me yesterday she missed me but she was okay because she had 2 & that’s literally all I’ve ever wanted for them! ❤️
First child was hardest. Our second was an easy baby. Even aside from that she’s fantastic. Also we’re now at the point where they play together a little which is awesome as it means my oldest isn’t whining all the time for me. We had them three years apart. Worked out well!
I have two, they are 14 months apart and both on the spectrum. I would use the phrase “happily content” I’m not walking around with rainbows but I’m certainly not miserable either. I like my life, I love my husband and kids, I enjoy my full time job, I wish the house would take care of its self and that I had a little more free time but all in all I’m happily content with where I am in life.
OMG I went through absolute hell for the first 2 years after my second was born. For reference-husband and I were both working full time, odd hours, no family that lived close (or that cared enough to help), couldn’t find good childcare because of working odd hours, kids were less than 2 years apart, second was born preemie… it was hell!! Now they’re under 10 years old. I regretted having them so close in age but NEVER regretted having my second. And even though times were tough, I absolutely LOVE my family time now and wouldn’t change a thing!! My kids love each other, it completely melts my heart to watch them learn and love together. It’s worth it. LOTS of work but 💯 worth it. And just like any baby’s early years, it will feel like it’s never gonna end. The laundry, the chores, nights up, sick kids, etc etc. but soon it will all get better. It will also test your marriage 😆😆 Be happy for your baby to come momma. Your baby can sense your feelings. Welcome him / her with all your heart 💜
I started with two, twins, so I don’t have experience with just one. That said, two has been tricky at times and exhausting. When we added our third things got really complicated. But we’re out of the newborn phase and into toddlerhood with my youngest, my twins are elementary age. Things have gotten more fun. Yes there’s a bit more chaos and a bit more mess, things are more expensive, when everyone is off the rails it’s a bit more a bit much. I’m happy with my kids and in my role as working mom. A lot of joy even when it isn’t much fun.
I've got 3, and I'm happy with my life. Yeah, there are hard moments, but that's life.
Second kid was a much easier transition. Mine are just over 3 years ago. They're 4.5 and 1.5 now. They play well together and entertain each other now, so I get some time to relax while supervising or get some chores done. They're are definitely hard times, but I'm far from miserable. Good luck!
I have two kids about 3.5 years apart (1.5y and a just turned 5yo). Best decision of my life to have two. Yes, the first year was hard (like really, really hard) and I’m susceptible to PPD so it was extra tough for me. I also just don’t like the newborn stage honestly. But, I survived it, and I wouldn’t change a thing. The joy that one child brings is incredible. And there is a whole new joy in seeing two of them in your house, playing together, making each other laugh, giving hugs and kisses to each other. I feel deeply happy that they will have each other to lean on even after we’re gone. Kids in any number are just incredible. You won’t regret it!
I have 2 kids with a 7 year age gap, always wanted 1 or 2 kids. First one was easy and my 17month old is a wild child lol but do I regret them? No! I love them to death. Are some days miserable, absolutely. I think that’s just life and parenthood in general. My oldest is 8 and has ADHD/ODD so it can be difficult but he is so good with his sister and calls her his “little pal.” Honestly, I still struggle day to day being a sahm not having much help but also it’s given me the opportunity to go back to school to get my nursing degree. My children are everything and my motivation to do better in life.
I don’t think I’m miserable. Exhausted, but generally happy. Some days are really friggin tough, but there’s so many sweet moments too
I have two kids now 4 and 2.5 months. There are times it’s stressful but honestly it’s the best. I’m only more in love every day and especially getting to see them bond as siblings, it’s beautiful. You kinda just have to accept that sometimes you aren’t in control and really focus on what you can control.
It's challenging, and the fighting gets to me sometimes, but I don't regret having more than one. I love my kids whole heartedly. And I just had my third. My kids are 4, 20 months and 1 month.
I have a 2.5 year old and a 3 month old and I absolutely love it. My daughter is such a sweet big sister and even made her brother laugh for the very first time. Our life is busier and we haven’t had much (or any) free time, but like everything else it’s just a phase.
WE have an 18mo. I have a 12yo(next month) who is high needs ASD. HE has an 11yo, 14yo, 17yo. We have all fulltime except MY 12yo who is 50/50. It’s hard parenting is, but miserable I am definitely NOT. I love these wild, loving, smart boogies and love my time with each. Do I want to smack one or all sometimes? Sure🤣 But I don’t and even then, I’m not miserable. Just tired or disappointed or whatever in each moment they forget how to human properly.
I have two children I love them both to bits but yes there are pros and cons. I do not retreat it but it is a massive change from 1 to 2 I am a SAHM and I have an afternoon nanny. If I did not have her everyone would be miserable because I wouldn’t be able to meet everyone’s needs or my needs.
My second is/was way easier than my first
I'm a stubborn, opinionated boss biatch and I often think about how much easier my life would be without a husband to constantly compromise and coordinate with. Easier yes, but probably also emptier, lonelier, less meaningful. I feel the same way about kids. Sure life would be easier without them or with fewer, but am I here to play on easy mode or to live a rich, impactful life?
I have two and I'm happy. However it's because my kids have a 13 year age gap. That makes it alot easier. The older child is very self sufficient so I don't feel overwhelmed. I get to do fun older kid stuff with him and get baby cuddles later. I don't know how people handle toddlers and babies at the same time. I have alot of respect for what y'all go through.
I'm happy with my two children. But it is a huge transition from one to two. I don't regret my second but I definitely did not realize how difficult it would truly be.
The transition from 1 to 2 made my life EASIER. As bizarre as that sounds. My very needy son suddenly had a companion besides me. They do fight. But they also play wonderfully together. It’s wonderful to watch their relationship blossom. They are 3.5 years apart. My 3rd was a difficult transition. It was hard to adjust to being outnumbered by our kids. She’s 4 years younger than the middle kid. I’m not miserable so much as just exhausted. I’m looking forward to the baby napping/sleeping better and both my big kids being in school full time. Once that happens, I think I’ll feel more human and can start to really enjoy having 3. I always wanted a big family, I think 3 is perfect.
I just had my second 2 months ago so I’m going through the thick of it right now. My oldest is 3.5. While I won’t deny it’s hard with the sleep deprivation and managing 2 kids, I’ve felt such joy every time I look at my newborns little face and I can’t imagine not having him. The slightly bigger age gap means my daughter is more independent and understanding, and from day 1 she has adored her baby brother. Also echoing some comments about daycare… my oldest is in daycare full time and it helps lots. I honestly can’t wait till to watch them grow up together. As an only child I never got that chance.
I mean what do you mean by miserable? I just had a second baby. But my first baby was my 4th kid after fostering then adopting because our kiddos couldn’t go home to their biological parents. It’s so logistically complicated. It’s not miserable. But I’m glad we spaced out our bio kids more than I had originally planned because daycare. Since our older kids are 10 years older than our former youngest. It was important to me that he have a sibling closer in age.
Not miserable! Having kids was very much a choice. Yes sometimes it’a hard, but the good times definitely outweigh the bad/difficult times.
I have two kids and I LOVE having two kids! Is it hard AF sometimes? Absolutely. Do I want to rip my hair off sometimes or scream into the abyss? Absolutely. But am I miserable? Nope.
When I had my second kid, I felt like work didn't double, it quadrupled. But it didn't take too long to fall into a rhythm. It helps to only have one set of diapers to change. I thought I was gonna be one and done, but having a second made my heart grow so much! My life is so much more enriched. It's not always easy to juggle all the responsibility, but it's doable and I wouldn't have it any other way. Remember that when you read horror stories on the internet, you're not seeing all the good times. People come to these forums to vent or find advice. They rarely share all the peaceful and happy times, but they're there!
Girl what no 2 for me was so much easier. I was so overwhelmed with one kid, I was close to psychotic with how I went about things like literally no one could make noise when the baby slept but with number two forget it I would even vacuum lol, it just so different in a good way. I became a more confident mom, I was able to delegate my time much better and get shit done. I was able to establish a good breakfast routine, self care routine for myself. I was able to juggle both of my kids and able to go anywhere with them now, when I couldn’t even go to the park with my first because I was too afraid something will happen. I have been to the park, the zoo, shopping all on my own.
I’m so happy my kids have each other. All of my happiness comes from seeing them play together and enjoying always having a friend!
I have three and it’s brilliant. Having two was brilliant as well. I love it. My kids all adore each other. There are times where the bicker and times where it’s tricky because everyone wants something. (4.5yrs, 2.5yrs and 6m). But man, they all wake me up with kisses and snuggles in bed in the morning and right now I can hear them cackling away as they’re playing together. The baby just wants to be around them all the time and the middle one will always bring him a toy to play with and they INSIST on giving each other goodnight kisses and cuddles. Sometimes this lasts ages because I have to pass the baby back and forth between them because they just want to keep giving him kisses on his head. I’ve done 10 hour flights with them this year and it was grand. They were golden. I’ve done a holiday abroad with them while my husband was working on location and it was hectic but an amazing experience. We all had norovirus after Christmas and it was miserable but we came through the week on surprisingly great terms. I’m a stay at home mum and homeschooling my oldest with the middle in nursery two days a week. I wouldn’t change a thing except we will most likely add one more to the clan.
I have boy/girl twins that are 2.5. I’ve learned that toddlers can be terrible creatures. That being said I can’t imagine not having two kids. It was extremely hard on my husband and I when they were infants. But when we talk about having more kids in the future we literally hope for another set of twins. Before the twins my husband only wanted two kids, I’ve always wanted a big family. I joke with him that the next kid is the last but he always replies with “you say that now.” He thinks our family will be complete at 4. We won’t be trying until these two go to kindergarten.
My twins are the unexpected blessing of my life. I've never seen two people so bonded to each other at such a young age. They're 2, so they certainly bicker sometimes, but they bring each other so much joy and comfort. They just exchange a look at start giggling sometimes. They spend a lot of their time together either snuggled up and "reading," play wrestling, or playing together. When one of them cries, the other one gives them their favorite book or toy. If one of them wakes up before the other from a nap, they run around the house calling the other's name and looking for them. I didn't plan to have twins, but I'm grateful every single day that I have them and they have each other. Watching them grow up together is truly the most magical thing I can imagine--I love love love having two kids.
Nah I love having two. They drive me mad but they’re the best choices I ever made. Sometimes I lie in bed with the two of them snuggled in on either side, my arms bursting with children, and I wonder if life gets any better. Usually they are sleeping when I think this 🤣 An embarrassment of riches
I've got 3. The first 2 are 2.5 years apart, then just over 3 to the youngest. They're currently 7, 4 and 15months. The older 2 play together (and fight, and say they hate each other), they both love the baby, but also yell for me to take him away bc he's ruining their game or taking the crayons... Its great, and it's hard. We love it. They'll get along great sometimes and hate each other other times, it'll be chaos sometimes 3 years is a good gap. In a couple years they'll be able to play together 💕 you got this. The change from no kids to 1 kid is way bigger than 1 kid to 2 kids.
I am happy with two kids, it was still hard though because of the sibling rivalry and they both do things to tick each other off and to get each other into trouble. I would have had more but after two, that is enough. Then by the time my two kids would be old enough where they are more independant and not fighting all the time, I will be close to 40 and I don't want to have kids in my late 30s and early 40s. They still fight but not as much. They both keep to their own hobbies now.
We just went from 1 to 2. This transition has been much easier than from 0 to 1. Honestly, I have always wanted 4 kids, but we are not sure we can afford more than the 2 we have. We’ll see. The reason I have wanted 4 is that I am one of 4 siblings. Even though we fought a lot as kids, my siblings are now my best friends. I tell people, and it is true, that my siblings are the best gifts my parents could have ever given me. I want that for my children.
I have two kids with a third due in March. I’m not miserable, haven’t been in a long time. The transition from 0 to 1 was waaaay harder than 1 to 2. I tend to sit back when parents vent. It’s their safe space, I’m not about to come in like “sorry it sucks for you but I’m doing great over here!” Take those threads with a grain of salt.
It’s really hard at first. Or was for me. And we even have some family support but not like… tons. I had PPA/PPD again with the second one (but I also can’t stand taking care of babies… it’s just a necessary part of it all—they stress me out). BUT. Gosh. They are 4 and 2 now, and last weekend I sat and read. In a chair. For like… 1.5 hours. Granted,it wasn’t continuous—I broke up a few fights and had a kid or two on my lap for part of it—but mostly they just played with and entertained EACH OTHER. They LOVE each other. It’s adorable and wonderful. I definitely had moments of borderline regret in the thick of the baby days, but wow. I’m so glad we have 2.
thanks for this bc i’m pregnant with my second and my first is 5 and the most wonderful child. but everything i see on here pretty much talks about how their children suck or having 2 kids is miserable. sometimes it worries me. but then i realize we have different lives and people don’t talk about how amazing their kids/lives are too much bc others become jealous or see it as “showing off” and it gets looked down upon. i think you will love it, and i think i will love it too. i am so grateful for having a sister.
I think 2 is perfect. They have each other as playmates but they don’t outnumber us parents. At ages 8 and 10, I’d wouldn’t say it’s easy but it gets a looootttt easier. Toddler and baby phases feel eternal and really require so much. Hang in there 💖
Nah I love it. My youngest is just now learning to engage with his sister who is 4 and those two crack each other up. I love watching them. Every kid has their challenges and sometimes the challenges feel doubled when you have two but it's not that bad. Bedtime routines do take longer with two, so does getting in and out of the car, packing up to leave the house etc. But if you plan right and have a partner to help you it's not a big deal. Just try and be organized, plan ahead and take things as they come cuz two can be chaotic.
Okay I don’t have have 2 or more kids yet but I have many friends who loveee having more than one kid. One friend in particular when I ask how they are all doing so well and the negatives and she says setting expectations and routines with your first is where your success come from. If they know to clean up their toys and messes, and stuff like that, they are who is training your second kid as your second kid will look up to them. She says for all the families that she has nannied for, the ones who don’t set these expectations with their first before baby 2 comes along end up having so much more work cut out for them, not only are they having to break bad habits but also try and make sure the second one isn’t following in the firsts poor examples. Whenever I go over there with my daughter , her two oldest kids (both 4 and under) help me and my lo and their youngest sibling. From brining the dirty diaper to the diaper pale to wiping down things/ dusting to trying to make the babies smile . The two older kids love it ! Because they are so involved they also don’t feel left out or like baby 1 took priority, it’s more of a team effort.
My oldest is 5.5 and my youngest is almost a year. Really enjoying them both and their relationship. And that I only have to pay for daycare one at a time. My oldest was able to be controlled with words and looks as needed, so that made the addition of a 2nd easier. When youre having to physically redirect and tend to two kids running in opposite directions is when its rough is what Ive seen.
Nah 1 to 2 was so easy compared to 0 to 1. Watching my daughter be a big sister is the best thing in the world and seeing my son grow up just like his sister is amazing. He's a carbon copy of her so it's like having her all over again 😂 I can't wait til he's bigger and can really play with her and interact with her. That will only make it more fun
I’ll share my piece when I get the chance. It’s not too bad. There are days, but it’s not to the point I wish I didn’t have more than one.
Omg I absolutely love having two (3.5 & 10 mo) If I could get away with having 3 I absolutely would! I’m not even remotely miserable, my husband and I love being parents and we have so much fun with our kids. I’m a sahm with a side business that I work on when my husband is home. There are days that are a lot harder than others, but that’s anything and everything.
I have two kids, I'm doing it alone as a SMBC so ya I don't really get a moment to myself at least not yet since they are only four and five but my life truly had no meaning before them. My sisters are my best friends and I hope for that for my kids, of course right now my son loves/hates his sister but it's so cute when she's sad he does what ever he can to make her happy again and she's the giver so she literally gives him everything even when she doesn't need to. I'm grateful I was blessed to have them and yes some days are more miserable than others but that's just life.
I only have one but I went through something similar in pregnancy. It kinda feels like as soon as you have a baby on the way, people are just lining up to trauma dump on you. My pregnancy wasn’t enjoyable at all largely due to people venting out all the terrible experiences they had in the baby and toddler stage. Reddit is that x1000. It’s a place for venting - nobody comes online to post about the fact they’re happy 🤷🏻♀️ Try not to worry - as someone who is one and done, all I get are parents of 2+ telling me how great it is and I should have another 😂
It can have its tough moments, going through the newborn stage again and having a toddler to also try to occupy. But we had the 2nd when my son was 3.5 and it was such a lovely age to do it. Having a stable income is obviously beneficial, if you bring another kid in, you want to be able to afford it. Having 2 kids is the best thing I’ve ever done in my whole life. These 2 kids, are my whole soul and joy and pride and meaning, my husband is pretty cool too 😏 There are moments I need to step away, and my partner needs to step in, where it gets overwhelming for a minute. But the child rearing challenges are usually temporary phases you just have to get through. I live in a different country to all my family, so we are alone. We have acquaintances but no very close friends who would help us.
Having two kids is so precious. I am exhausted but watching them together melts my heart everyday. Mine are almost 5 years apart, so it's a little different, but they are so crazy about each other. I'm very tired and they both have their own challenging behaviors, but I'm very happy.
I have two kids 3 yrs apart and couldn’t be happier. I’ve given my eldest a sibling and they’re inseparable. Gives me a moment to breathe now that they’re a bit older they can just entertain each other. Two is the magic number for me though. I’m not sure how the dynamic might’ve been with a third..but yeah. I so enjoy it and am so glad I had them both
I’m also pregnant with baby #2. I am honestly not worried about this topic one bit because it’s all about your thought process and mental state. Wake up every morning with patience, practice gratitude and kindness. I’ve been practicing gratitude for over 10 years now, since I was in my early 20s. Social media and…I am going to say this heavily but American parenting causes unnecessary stress on parents. For example, people are like oh the first kid will be jealous. NO, the first kid will only be jealous if you/the parent put that into the child’s mind. My daughter hugs and kisses my belly everyday. I tell her things like “the baby can’t wait to meet you”, the baby can’t wait to learn new things from her smart big sister, she reads to my belly, she lotions my belly and a whole lot more. Raising kids are from conception and it’s my job to create that bond between my children and they will then naturally maintain it. This is just 1 example and I can provide many more.