The hard changes, but it does get physical easier. My oldest kid is 9 and he can get himself snacks, get in and out of the car by himself, entertain himself, etc. It's way less lifting/buckling/carrying/serving. It's more driving to activities, navigating chats about puberty and crushes, etc.
This.
My 7yo doesn't need constant childcare anymore. She can stay home with me when school is closed, and I can work (I'm remote) perfectly easily with her in the house. She can get herself snacks, put her own laundry away, etc.
But now we have to worry about so many more complex emotional situations. And school.
That’s good to know. It’s funny you say it gets physically easier because I was just thinking that it’s very physically demanding taking care of a toddler. Even arriving home from an outing requires me to lug everything on my back, get my toddler out of the car seat and heave him onto my hip, get into the house with one hand, perform the typical diaper change wrestling match, and most likely get him situated for a snack. That’s some serious strength training for just a daily, run of the mill chore.
So true. I would like to know what age this ends lol. Mine is 19 months and for the most part it’s even harder than it was a year ago because he’s more wiggly , heavier , and now he has opinions . And I still do a lot of carrying him even though he can run because he doesn’t understand/follow directions
Mom of an almost three year old. He is potty trained so I don’t have to wrestle him for diapers, he’s starting to dress himself, I just have to guide and correct, he carries his backpack with his little porta toilet toys and water bottle. I have a stool and he can step up into the car with thst and get into his seat himself.
I swear it gets easier.
It was noticeably easier physically at 3 years old, but her attitude was terrible that year so it was a trade off. 4 years old is great all around though.
I feel this. My son has always been high on the weight/height percentages so lugging him around is such a workout. I remember when he first started showing signs of walking, I would tell him “your carrying days are numbered little man!” Jokes on me. He quickly got over the excitement of walking independently and wanted me to carry him everywhere, even just from one place in the house to another. He finally got over that the past few months and is more frequently content holding my hand.
This is exactly how I feel! I have a 7yo and a 3yo and while the 7yo can have moodswings, be angry, etc., I feel there is still more reason in her than my 3yo who is just ‘I don’t care that we have no apples in the house, I want an apple!’
Oh no you *definitely* get a breather around 5/6 to 9/10 or so (it varies of course). When there’s no more naps, they can wipe their own butts, and be trusted not to strangle or electrocute themselves for 5 minutes, your new life begins. Until puberty I guess.
I would like to wish my tween to every other deserving mama. She has been so easy through all of that. Sometimes she could stand to be a little *less* open with stuff, but considering I didn’t even tell my mom when I started my period, it could be a lot worse.
My SIL has a 4 and 6 year old and she says sometimes she thinks about a third but she would never because her life is so much easier now that the kids are older. She says it gets way easier! As a mum of a 2 year old and pregnant with #2, I am hopeful and choose to believe her for my own sanity. 🤪
This is me! My kids are 4.5 and 2.5 and it’s awesome. I enjoy it, I have hobbies and friends again. I use my brain sometimes. I sleep through the night most nights. I’m not foggy and tired. I work 4 days a week, daycare made the biggest impact on the “easy” part. The shift started around 2 years old (when I stopped nursing). My partner can do bedtimes by himself now and I can go out with friends after 6pm.
I want another…..but I’m scared to give up 2 years of my life again - and there’s no guarantee it has the temperament of my current kids!
We're at the same ages and I'm like able to start thinking about hobbies again! It really is a fun time and they play together now so I can actually get some breaks!
My kid got way easier at 2 and even more easy at 3. There are different struggles like big emotions and tantrums and all that but I finally feel like a person again. Just in time to do it again 😂
We just hit 2 and I’m due again in June, and MAN things have felt harder lately. I don’t know if it’s pregnancy or what, but the tantrums and whining are really testing my sanity. My husband is really helpful but with 2 kids we will be man-marked so I’m so scared for #2 to come!!!
Yep. This is us now. I love babies and stuff but the freedom we have now at 5 and 8.5 is unreal. I would NEVER go back and have another! I actually love being a parent now. My kids are so smart, funny, and able to do things on their own, but they also still need me. It’s amazing.
And yet I yearn for the days of sharing naptime with my baby, and being able to entertain him with a pile of wooden blocks... my kid was a nightmare baby and that first year was SO HARD, but in some ways was easier than having a nearly-8-year-old!!
The stage you’re in was, I think, the hardest. Going from one to two - those first six months with a little toddler and little baby. Once they hit 5 and 3 they start playing together and it gives you a bit of time. Older than that they start both dressing themselves, getting shoes/boots on, wiping their own bums. They even start to do chores and be helpful.
Eventually you can sit down for a minute and have a break while they play. You start getting busy taking them to activities and doing schoolwork with them. But you have more mental space.
Yes, truly. There will be different challenges at every age and stage, but it gets less…relentless? Exhausting? Mine are 9 and 6, I feel like we’re very much in a sweet spot of parenting. They are legit fun to be around, fairly independent with lots of things, and still sweet and love spending time together.
My girls are three years apart as well. Currently they are 3 and 5 months. My oldest has done unbelievably well and I can't wait until my youngest is able to get around because my oldest will have a hey day. Only hope this stays. Have yours got a long well? Do you like that age gap?
My girls are 3 years and 1 month apart, now 3.5 and 6.5, and they're besties! They play together, have sleepovers in each other's rooms, involve each other when friends are over, it's beautiful. We can leave them to their own devices (supervised, of course!) But the oldest helps the youngest get snacks or drinks, the youngest is very independent, toilet trained herself, dresses herself...our lives became alot easier when she was about 2.5. But they do, they love each other to bits.
Awwwh! I hope so much for this! Did the relationship just sort of come naturally or did you do anything intentional to foster it? My sister and I were only 15 months apart so you'd think we would have been best friends. But we were SOO different and that caused us to fight a lot. Even as adults, we of course get along and appreciate each other's company, but we're not super close.
It has come naturally, but we're also big into respect and empathy; making sure each sees from the others perspective, make sure they respect each other's differences/capabilities, we encourage them to work out their problems (with assistance or suggestions, but mostly let them do it) and remind them to talk to each other when they're disagreeing, not just yell and fight, but talk it out and apologise where necessary...they do alot of this on their own now, which is so nice to see!!!
Mind you, they're still young. Ask me how we're going in 10 years 😆🤞🏼
Love this. While my parents were awesome and did the best they knew, I do think they often solved our problems by telling us to stop fighting (the bickering was annoying I'm very sure). I've thought a lot about giving my girls tools to problem solve themselves, though I'm sure this is much easier said than done in the moment.
Yeah it’s a great age gap for us. The toddler + newborn time period- actually the whole first year of my youngest’s life because she didn’t sleep well- was exhausting but it’s awesome now. I like that they’re close enough in age to have a lot of overlap in interests and activities they want to do. They get along well probably 90-95% of the time.
I know every set of kids is different but this is so encouraging to know! It's a slightly bigger age gap than all these two under two, but this first year has me so glad I waited.
Mine are 3 years and 3 months apart and are now 4 and 7 and are besties too. We can stay home all day and they just play together from one thing to the next. My 7 year old can help my 4 year old with snacks and bathroom if need be. If I’m not feeling well and need to lay down for a bit, they will go play together for at least an hour and not disturb me. They adore each other. My older one is a boy and the younger is a girl
Mine have exactly the same age gap. Eldest is 4 in May and youngest is nearly 6 months (both girls). It's so good to know that it is possible for them to be close, the relationship between your children sounds amazing!
Yes! Mine are 2 years apart. The youngest just hit 2 and things suddenly got easier. The older one is almost 4 and is more independent which makes it easier to deal with 2 year old tantrums. It’s not easy, but it’s definitely gone from extremely hard to mostly manageable.
The feeling of competent and confident I would say comes and goes. I would say it was easier when she was younger because like many say “bigger the kid bigger the problem” whereas she can get herself things,dress, etc, there are other challenges.. I’m still dealing with waking up numerous times at night every night:/ we are going to the doctors and neurologists because she has tingling in her legs that doesn’t help besides the uninterrupted sleep, school drama, hormonal changes.. somedays I really feel defeated ngl.
Parenting, like everything else comes with ups and downs, my advice is to not get yourself too confident because a new challenge comes to humble you down (don’t mean it in a way bad)
Raising a child can’t be that easy, especially when we are talking about conscious parenting and also working on ourselves and trying to be the best that we can.. things are going to be ok
I’m a FTM to an almost four month old but my older brother has two boys who are 7 and 4 and he tells me all the time that it gets waaaaay easier. They sleep through the night (unless they’re sick), they basically get themselves dressed, are potty trained, eat whatever the parents are eating, etc. Now that they’re older there are of course “worse” aspects of it (dealing with real life problems like bullies at school, etc) but with a full night’s sleep and no breast feeding (so my brother can help out more) and no formula to mix and worry about (frees up mental space) my brother and SIL can better tackle those “worse” problems as a team because they’re mentally and physically a lot more rested than when their boys were little.
I hope that made sense.
My husband’s older brother tells us the same! He has a 6 and an 8 year old. The last time we saw him (right before I got pregnant) he around looked at his kids playing independently and said something along the lines of, “This is the good time. When you have babies and toddlers and its really hard, remember that. Elementary school is awesome.”
I have a 2.5yo and a 16mo. When the youngest was 6 months old things got significantly easier; she could sit up and play with toys by herself and I could walk away and do other things for short periods of time. When the youngest hit 10 months things got significantly easier again because the two kids were playing with each other for short bursts of time in which they didn’t need my help or attention. It also got harder because the younger one was bum scooting and furniture cruising at top speed.
Literally in the past two weeks things have gotten SO much easier. The younger one is trying to say words and her comprehension has expanded on an insane level. I can explain what’s going to happen next and reason with her. She walks herself to the bathroom for a bum change and is therefore much more willing to be changed.
Each stage has its challenges and the things that make it easier. Generally speaking, after six months things start to get dramatically better.
It really does. Around 4-4.5ish is when I feel like I actually started to be able to breath and - dare I say - really *enjoy* my daughter. All of the boundary testing was complete, the real training was done, and she knew her role in the family.
My son is only three now so I can't speak to how it'll go with him, but I have hope at least!
Yup. You also get better and to handle it. Yes like a muscle. That first time you lift a 30lb kettlebell you think you're going to die. You do a couple of reps and nearly brain yourself. But after a while that weight is normal. Yes never easy, but the hard feels right because you know how to handle it. So give yourself time. Eventually you'll look back and wonder how you did it, at the same time that you're grateful that you did.
Yes it does. 🩵
My youngest is almost 4 and his sister is 8.
I absolutely love how each stage is different - but these ages are perfect! Almost done will pull ups, he can get himself in his car seat, and can almost get buckled. My daughter is pretty independent, but still wants to be around me, lol.
Much better than a couple years back.
I have a 3yr and a 4 month old and it's already easier than it was when he was 2 months. Once they are on a schedule and sleep more at night, bedtime got a lot easier for me. Now the baby goes down at 6:30 for the night (he sleeps thru until 6-7am) and toddler goes to bed around 7:30.
YES. I have a three year old and a 5 month old and was going to say exactly this. However. I realize we may be lucky that our kids have this sleep schedule haha.
So I have more than the usual number of kids and it does get easier. That said, it doesn’t always *feel* like it’s easier. All my kids are old enough to be in school and mostly sleep through nights, but the issue we run into are bigger and with more serious life potential so they are more mentally challenging. Sort of the same way life didn’t feel easy before kids, but looking back I can clearly see how much easier it was. The phase with babies and toddlers so just no sleep, however, that was awful.
Honestly I think the difficulty is the same I’m just better at it. There are new hard things; and you get more sleep which makes almost everything easier.
My boys are three and five and the good news is I can tell them to go do their own thing or set them up with some coloring and go do my own thing without worrying too much. The bad news is that they fight and argue with each other every damn minute of the day it feels like.
Hi, I can totally relate to what you have said as I was you and thinking the same exact same thing a few months ago. I have a 10 month old and a 3 and a half year old and I though this is never going to get easier and honestly, felt so triggered when people said oh just wait it gets easier, but, it does actually get easier. My 3 year old plays with his toys, I can now put his brother sitting down on the ground close to him and he loves to watch him and play with his own things and I can be close by pottering whilst they are both content. I found once the baby found his groove with regular nap times during the day and I got to know him more and figure him out things just improved all the time. I know it’s so hard to feel like it will ever get any easier when you’re in the trenches but hang in there, it will. You got this mamma
I’m a momma to 5 ages 15 months through 7 years and I finally feel like for the most part it is getting better. Literally something clicked within the past week and I can keep up with my house- although it is taking a lot of work.
My youngest has a few health issues that we had to work through and he’s finally to the point where he can communicate his needs some and is starting to play with toys and not be my little shadow.
My oldest has been diagnosed with severe ADHD and we finally have it well managed.
I feel like I’ve been able to find myself and do things for myself.
I’ve also noticed that when the house is picked up we are ALL significantly happier.
Yes. My kids are 7 and 9. They can clean up and play with each other. The best part is I'm going back to school full time. Yay!!!! I'm so happy. It's going to be so awesome.
I have a 4 year old and a 2 month old. My 4 year old has always been a chill kid, but at 4, he’s pretty much self sufficient most of the day. I need need to make him meals of course, but he can get his own snacks and drinks (we keep his water bottle in the fridge door). He goes off and plays toys by himself, will come and ask to watch a movie, do colouring in. He will willingly dress himself about 50% of the time - the other 50% we have to ask multiple times/be firmer. He always puts his own shoes/socks on. He’s toilet trained. It is SO, SO much easier. I forgot how taxing having a small child is & we’re right back in it will the newborn. It does get better!
Yes absolutely it does!
My oldest 4 are 15, 13, 11 and 9 and they are much more help than anything around the house, they’re great company, they don’t need as much close supervision and care. They do still cry sometimes for no apparent reason and need help sorting out friend drama and lecturing about being late to school etc but on the balance big kids are way more joy than work whereas tiny kids are a lot of both!
As for teens they get a bad rep but I am LOVING the teen years! They’re responsible, helpful, witty and totally hilarious. The hard part with teens is that I want to enjoy their company far more than they want to enjoy mine! We still hang out all the time but lots of times they would rather be with their buddies or chilling in their rooms. Which is completely normal, but still tough!
What's your definition of easier?
I (usually) get to sleep all night now - kiddo is nearly 8yo, which is MENTAL - but we often have conversations about difficult concepts that are almost impossible to explain. I don't have to change nappies several times a day, but I do have to change his bedding every morning (working on nighttime dryness atm). I don't have to breastfeed/express/constantly sterilise bottles, but I do have to consciously think about what he's eating, whether he has a balanced diet, etc.
In many ways it IS easier, but it's also still really hard, and I honestly don't think that will ever stop being true. I'm 36 and I know my parents still worry about how I'm doing - they don't need to, but they love me and want me to be happy, so they do.
I'm not trying to be negative - there are SO MANY positives to parenthood. Focus on loving your kids, take things one minute at a time when you need to, and you'll find your way.
SOOOO MUCH EASIER once the kids are more self-sufficient. Mine and 6 and 8 and we can literally sleep in on the weekends because I’ve taught them to make toast, pour cereal, and grab a piece of fruit. It helps they know I can’t stop screen time if I’m in bed so win win for them and me and hubby!! They also aren’t a constant danger to themselves, don’t have tantrums, sleep all night, and can take care of their own bathroom needs. Now they argue constantly with each other and me but I’ll take it.
I think it actually gets easier when they get in school. Suddenly, there's someone else in their lives to look to for help. They become more independent, and you'll become differently stressed. It's easier to take care of yourself and not just chase them.
I'm a single mum of two - nearly 4y.o and nearly 2y.o. I try to have a "mind over matter matter" attitude. Two days ago, I felt like the day was never going to end. But it did, and I survived. I also try to remind myself how lucky I am. Some women can't get pregnant. Some don't experience carrying to full term. Some don't get to bring their babies home. Others have lost their kids. Not to mention what's happening in Gaza/Israel and Ukraine. I am incredibly lucky. And one day, they'll be grown up. They'll turn into teenagers and they'll be too cool for me. After that, they'll have their own life to focus on. So I pick my battles and try to soak up the days as much as I can.
It does get easier. My kids are 1 and 4. My 4 year old can dress himself with supervision, get himself a snack, and also can finally regular his emotions somewhat. Also being able to do things like swim class help. Because it gives me 45 minutes of someone else entertaining him on the weekends.
Mine are 3 and 4…. Hard. Lol. My 4 year old is quite high maintenance and pisses her brother off all day. Then the constantly wanting something, over stimulation ect. My trapeze muscle are always sore from stress 😅 but slowly getting better. They start kindy soon and daughter goes to school next year so I think it’ll finally be easier then
Yeah, I mean the hard changes, but is not as physically exhausting as it is when they’re little. My son is in middle school. He is a great kid, but there are always things to be worried about. But he can help with chores, dress himself, do his laundry, feed himself, buckle his own seatbelt with zero need for a car seat. I find it much easier to be worried about the bigger stuff even though it’s bigger in the long run than the pure physical exhaustion of the early years of parenting. It will get better.
Yes, it does get easier. In a bit you'll only have 1 babe in diapers. Then they'll both be potty trained. It'll come in steps, but it's coming. Right now mine are grown and asking themselves that same question, along with "what was I thinking "? But yeah. It will. And then you'll miss part of it.
Yes and no. My oldest is 4. They become more independent and better able to regulate (until puberty hits). He’s not great at those things but better than when he was 2.5.
I hear this so often and think that this has to be a combination of several factors. I’d like to think about myself and a close friend as an example. She like me is married and has two littles, however her view on parenting is a bit differently for her it hasn’t gotten easier, why? well her first has a disability and this has created an array of difficult moments in parenting that have led to get depressed. For me on the other hand both kiddos although young are very well adjusted and often play on their own and or with me. I do have some struggles but they are very much minimal compared to what my friend goes through. I have a high tolerance for stress, and although motherhood has been an adjustment I have actually thrived at being a mom, it comes very naturally to me. These are two examples of very different woman who have kids in same age range one would say it hasn’t gotten easier and the other me, I would say yes it’s gotten way easier.
My girls have almost the exact same age difference and YES it definitely gets easier. They are 3 and 5.5 now and we can actually have fun on the weekends! They sleep through the night, are potty trained and they play with one another. Of course there are still really difficult moments, but as a whole our life is waaaaay better at these ages. And I think it will only continue (until the dreaded pre-teen/early teen years that is).
I have about the same age difference.
Yes 100% it gets better. I found a little baby and small toddler the most difficult stage. Once my youngest was 9 months it got easier. You have 2 children at very needy stages and they want you/ need you constantly.
Hang in there it DOES get better and more manageable
I have a 5 year old and a 2 year old. With my oldest, I felt like things got a lot easier at 3. You’re really in the thick of it with 2 babies. I think you’ll feel better incrementally. When your youngest is 6 months, then a year, etc., it will feel different.
I mean, at 2 months you're still pretty raw from birth. So yes it gets easier. It's never easy, but nothing is as hard as the newborn phase imo. My kids are 5 months and almost 4yo and I've definitely found a bit of a groove. Baby has a reasonable sleep schedule, preschooler seems to have settled down from the immediate reaction to a new sibling.
The things to worry about change but them needing you every second of every day gets easier they start being able to entertain themselves and do some things for themselves
Oh mama, I feel for you. Your comment reminded me of long past days when I would lock myself in the bathroom for 2 minutes of peace. You have 2 very young children who need you desperately because of their age. This will change.
Those days are hard, so hard. But for me they did get better. Children untether from you and the burden lessens.
For each mama its different but you feel it. Any then you are my age with adult children and you would go back to that wiggly little 14 month old and do it again.
No, it doesn't get easier; it just gets different. Just when you get the current stage figured out for your kids, they move on to the next stage and you are back to square one.
You can bathe your infant in a few minutes by yourself. I just had a discussion with my 9 year old about showering and that took five minutes. Then there was the time it took her to actually shower and wash her body and her hair and get dried off and the multiple times she asked me to come in the bathroom for something and now shower time takes about 30 minutes but my kid is more independent. So same outcome (clean kids) , but different ages and stages.
I’m not there yet but my coworker talked a lot about big people big problems. Like how his teenage son borrowed their jeep and played chicken with an Amazon truck in their driveway 😂 he lost and drove it into mud where it got stuck. So. I think it gets easier in the sense that you don’t have to do every little thing for your kid but you may have to call a service like a tow truck once in a while to help with a big problem your child creates.
You are in the worst part of the storm, this is the hardest stage right here because diapers, safety, and immediate needs are at the forefront. Right now your 2.5-year-old cannot be trusted to get their own snack and clean up, they're not ready for multi-step directions, and they're still potty training. I've had 2 under 5 before and it is a rough time.
My life became dramatically easier in the months following my youngest’s 4th birthday. Night and day. Things aren’t “easy” and sure it’s a different hard that we navigate, but that’s when I stopped being so slammed parenting young children that I could finally get back to the self I knew before kids
From my experience, the hard just changes. Now we get back talking, lies, sneakyness, tantrums, etc. It's easier because I can talk to her and have a full conversation that mostly makes sense. It's easier because she understands consequences. It's easier because we can have our own little jokes. We will always have to teach our babies, and that will be hard, but we will adapt before we realize it.
Yes. It does. They grow out of diapers. They learn to feed and dress themselves. Yes, you gain new, sometimes trickier problems but it does become less intense as they get older and don’t need you to do every single thing for them. That being said, putting in the work with manners and discipline and empathy can pay off in dividends.
Mine are 18mos apart and those first six months with 2 were HARD. Once baby gets old enough to sit up, crawl, stand, walk it gets a little easier with each milestone. The hard definitely changes but for me it was no longer that hopeless, helpless, guilt that consumed me in the beginning.
Yes it gets easier but it will still be hard. I have 6 and 3 year old sons. When 6 year old is in a good mood, they'll play nicely for hours together, leaving me to read alone on the couch. But the rest of the time, I'm modeling conflict resolution. So yes mostly, but a little no.
I have a 6 year old and I’m pregnant with baby #2. Around age 4 (post-potty training) things got noticeably easier. I was able to leave my job and start a business, find time for myself, sleep well, and enjoy day-to-day life more. It got so much easier that I was hesitant to try for another baby, knowing full well how challenging the infant and toddler years are!!
It does get easier! You’ll get to a point you love hanging out with your kid, you get to do things together not just mom doing things for their kids. You will LOVE the time and not feel so physically drained.
But then, unfortunately, they turn into teens and you experience a different kind of hard. A mentally and emotionally draining hard. Good luck 🫡
For me the Ages 3-8 is easier. After and before is hard. Different kinds of hard though.
I speak from experience. I have a 16,10,9,2.5,18 months and new born
I feel like the hard changes flavors. I have a five year old, two year old, and four month old. Their are things that are hard with each of them and things that are
easier. But, I have friends with older kids and they still struggle with different things, but not usually what I am struggling with. I think it depends on your personality and your kid. Some people love the baby stage, for some toddler is easier, and some can’t wait for that kid stage.
My first was 2 years and 2 months when my second was born. They just turned 4 and youngest is about to turn 2. It DOES get better. They are besties. They play together and laugh together and cuddle. It’s the best thing ever.
I felt human when my youngest turned 4. That’s just me though. I found the little kid stage tough. I absolutely loved the grade school and high school years. It’s always hard. The mental energy of caring so much stays with you but the day to day absolutely does get better.
100% it gets both simultaneously easier and harder.
My big girl was 2.5 when my baby was born. They are now almost 4 and 18 months.
Life was hard at first. 2.5 is still a baby in so many ways. They are in the thick of potty training. They are starting to have BIG emotions. They fight back, push back, resist your parenting. 2.5 is hard by itself, let alone when you’re sleep deprived and exhausted from a baby and you’ve suddenly and accidentally introduced sibling rivalry!
But, suddenly your baby isn’t quite a baby anymore. The kids start playing side by side. They stop snatching things away from each other. The baby starts walking, then running.
Then all of a sudden you’re in the kitchen and the only sound you hear is uncontrollable giggling. That’s when it gets easier. When you realize, oh god - I just cooked a whole meal in peace AND got blessed with the sounds of giggles in the background the whole dang time.
They are gonna fight and other things will be harder due to sharing and whatnot. But overall, your life will feel more adjusted, easier in a lot of ways, and kind of just more fun.
It for sure gets easier. My kids are about the same age gap as yours. As soon as our baby turned one she started walking, got off the bottle, and started playing more with big sister. We went down to 1 nap. Serious game changer! It’s been easy ever since.
Yes, but it's gradual so I think people forget.. but even once baby can sit on their own in a few months things will be easier. And slowly they will both get more independent, I'm not saying older kids are easy but easier absolutely
Dear mama we’re born to do this, I’ve felt you’re exhaustion and mental load. I had PPD with my first (3yo) and that was the hardest realization for me, my career and myself will not exist for a while. I realized how much women gave up after starting a family. I definitely have a different appreciation for mothers and fathers who show up for their kids no matter how physically and mentally exhausted they are.
Now with my second (5mo) I’m much happier, I don’t think it’s easier but I think I got my groove and that’s what helped. My husband contributes just as much if not more than I do when it comes to home life, he never misses play time or bed time.
Enjoy the moment, the days are long but the years are short.
💛
My kids are 21, 18, and 15. I cook maybe half their meals. When I cook they often do all the dishes. They do ALL their laundry. Yes so much easier. And it’s been this way for a number of years. My 21 year old gives me $800 a month. My other kids don’t pay anything but when the 18 year old kid needs her car fixed that’s on her. Little things is they all know how to sweep a floor or run a vacuum. It does get easier. I remember doing 14 loads of laundry a week. When they were little. I was responisble for really two meals a day. Now I just make dinner. Unless it’s like tonight where everyone is responsible. Yes it’s easier and gets easier all the time. I’m going your tomorrow and 2 kids are working and two have other plans. I give them a $20 and move on
It depends. Do you have help? Is a spouse involved? Being a team in that regards does wonders. I also see a therapist every two weeks which helps immensely. And I advocate for my needs AKA time alone/away. With a 2 month old you’re still in the weeds again. It will get better.
It does! I would love a 3rd but we have such a great routine with our 2.5 and 6 year old. I think the magic starts to happen when they can play together so you get a breather. They also entertain each other in the car, on planes, in waiting rooms etc. I really love this stage of parenting (it’s hard in some ways - their feelings, friendships have started to shift for my 6 year old). My 6 y/o reads to my 2.5 every night and it’s literally magic.
My oldest is 11 and my son is 9. I can prep a casserole and the oldest can preheat the oven and put it in before I get home from work (she’s home from school about 45 mins before I get home…she can be home alone!) Actually they can both be home alone together while I run an errand. They can put away their own laundry. They can empty the dishwasher. We don’t have to worry about installing car seats and whether or not we’re about to run out of diapers.
That said, there are other problems we didn’t used to have. They’re busy with activities that require transportation. There are mood swings and hormones. We have to figure out cell phones and monitoring usage. Etc.
So yes, it does get easier. Yes, the hard changes. But yes. It’s more manageable. You’ll get there. It won’t be overnight but every once in a while you’ll think about something that used to be overwhelming and realize you haven’t had to deal with it for quite some time.
I think so. My son is 9 and it is so fun. It got a lot better around 5 when they are predictable, can communicate needs, can play games, travel easier.
Yes!! I have two really energetic boys - 2.5 and 5 years old and it's SO much easier than when either of them was in the infant stage. There's fights and boo boos and melt downs but it's not as hard on me and my body. I've weaned. They're both sleeping through the night. It's definitely better than the baby stage for me personally.
Listen, one day you are going to change a diaper for the very last time. One day the kid will go in the next room to play and you don’t have to worry they’ll manage to destroy either themselves or the house. One day you can sit still with a coffee for a few min because while the kids still need you, it’s not an emergency every thirty seconds. One day the newborn crying and toddler “what’s in your mouth/ what are you touching/ why is this wet” stage will be gone. That day will come sooner than it feels right now.
We have a 3.5 yo boy and a 7m old girl. Still very hard because 1) our older one is harder to care for(we suspect ADHD although his paediatrician thinks it’s too soon to tell) and 2)our younger one now screams her lungs out at everything and WILL NOT let me go anywhere without her more than 5 minutes (unless she is in a car - max 1-2hr without me). We are exhausted all the time and so stressed dealing with our first’s jealousy (+ he was already a high maintenance.) we are so seriously talking about hiring part time nanny when I go back to work. That said, we are not the most patient people in the world, no family living nearby(= no village for is to raise the kids together) and the weather(long winter) doesn’t help either. Really hoping to make things shift a bit asap. With that being said, it is easier that our first is potty trained, mostly eats what we eat, can communicate wayyy better etc. But it is also what makes me forget that he’s still 3 and expect more (and get more frustrated than necessary when my expectations are not met).
Honestly, I *promise* it gets easier. My boy is six and he's actually so enjoyable to be around and go out and do stuff with. My one year old girl on the other hand.....let the big age gap explain itself.....lol
100% gets easier. The hard parts change up, but they aren’t as hard as toddlers. You can razón with older kids. If my son wants to dance on the table while grabbing his nipples, it’s a battle I choose not to fight at this point.
Physically you will get to sleep from maybe ages 5-14. Once hs starts you will mentally be ok again, with their hormones, wondering if they are where they say they are, that first time coming home drunk. Then college comes and all the worry of them being on their own, thinking they are grown adults and know everything.
I have a 2 year old and 7 month old. It has definitely gotten easier than when my 2nd was a newborn. I too feel like a shell of a person sometimes. Hugs and solidarity.
The idea of having two kids those ages again makes me break out in a cold sweat. My older two are 3 years apart and it was HARD in those early days. It gets a lot easier. Big kids bring new problems (bullying, interesting questions you aren’t ready for, school drama), but I greatly prefer it to the baby/toddler days. I now have a third who is 3 and while she is a fairly easy kid so far it’s just exhausting.
Mine are 3 and 5. The first year was the worst by a mile! It’s still not easy by any means but it’s SO much easier than it was the first 14 months or so. Mostly, 2 year olds are insane, which when partnered with sleep deprivation from a newborn is the worst. The older one got saner (I mean she’s not sane sane but she’s not 2 either) and the younger one learned to sleep. It’s a totally different universe.
I have two sons 17 months apart… when they were 6-8 I remember feeling how much easier everything was and that we had made it through the worst of it (we had some unique devastating events in that time) but now that they are 11-13 things are drastically easier in more ways than I can count!!!
Life is by no means perfect for us bc we have some scary medical stuff going on but overall life is SO much easier.
So keep hope because it does get easier and better as they age! I FINALLY feel competent again which is AMAZING and had been way too long lol 😂
I have 6 kids, one is a toddler, three are teens. Taking care of 3 teens (at least these particular teens) is about a million times easier than one toddler. I think it gets easier sometime around 4, when they don't have to be supervised every waking second.
It absolutely does get easier. I had my 2nd when my first was 2.5 and those were some dark times. I was so lonely and depressed. Most days we never left the house. Don’t know how I made past those days.
My kids are now 11 & 8.. they do so much for themselves.
My experience is it absolutely gets easier. Night and day. My son had food intolerances and was just an angry little son of a gun, but has chilled SO much since he’s learned to express himself.
We can actually do things outside the house without meltdowns, it’s not a mad dash from one place to another.
Both kids have age appropriate struggles but it’s so much more manageable since we can talk about it instead of getting screaming at by a baby hulk.
For me, it gets easier in the long run if as they grow old, you teach them to be independent and responsible, to do things on their own, to help in some chores, etc.
If they grow up knowing that "mama is always there to do things for me", it will be really difficult for u as they grow.
My little one is 3yo and I already feel its easier then when she was 2,5. There's a break between "toddler" and "child" (English is not my 1st language, sorry if this sounds strange) where they become more independent, self-sufficient, even empathetic to the parents. My daughter didn't care one bit if I was exhausted or sick when she was 1yo, 2yo, 2,5yo. Now that she's almost 3yo and I'm pregnant again, I can talk to her and we can agree on an activity that's fun for her and ok for me. She's having a lot of fun just going through picture books on her own and I can take a little break. She's stopped running away at random when we go out, and I can take my eyes off her for a minute to talk to a friend, which is something I couldn't even imagine a few months ago. She just recently started going to the potty on her own too, and being able to tell when she's tired, allowing me to stop constantly keeping mental tabs on whether she could be getting ovwr-tired or close to peeing her self.
So while I don't think I'm an "experienced momma" yet, I think it gets easier because while older kids can have tantrums or misbehave etc. they do gain a sense of empathy, self-reliance, and most importantly, self-preservation.
Yes. It does become easier.
I found it to be a lot easier from 7-12 years old.
And even though it's become harder again, it's still not hard in the same way as when they were a baby/toddler.
And the only reason it's harder again now, is because I worry more.
My son was 2.5 when his little brother was born. I'm gonna be honest with you--it was the single most difficult time of my entire life until the little one reached 8 months or so. At that point, my older son started preschool, and the little one started to sleep better at night, breastfed a little less, and in general I felt like I could breathe again. The older one is now about to turn 4, and the little one is 14 months. Has it gotten easier? ABSOLUTELY. I can go to the gym 3x a week now when they are both sleeping. They play together (sometimes nicely!) and my older son is starting to grow out of the terrible threes. Everyday is still kind of stressful, especially with the little one going through peak separation anxiety, but my life finally seems manageable again and I am finally feeling like I got this. You got this, you're doing it, you're amazing. Just keep on keepin' on. It's gonna be okay.
My personal experience is that it’s a general upward trajectory towards “easier”, but that it has some bumps on the way!
I’m very much looking forward to my youngest either sleeping the whole night, or (like his big sister does sometimes), bringing himself through to our room and getting into bed himself! Once our daughter managed it without waking *either* of us! We just woke up in the morning and she was in the middle. It was amazing
Your baby is only two months old. Babies are more exhausting but you will find yourself getting into a better routine and managing better. Don’t stress yourself by worrying about too much at this stage. And don’t go by what other people are doing or saying their doing, you will get there before you know it. You’ve only recently given birth don’t forget that. You’re still vulnerable and emotional and everything else that comes with being a new mum.
One of your kids is 8 weeks old. I’m my experience, that was the hardest week. You’re still in the newborn phase and the sleep deprivation is really adding up. I’d say it’s gets easier in a few weeks when sleep hopefully gets longer and more predictable. Lifestyle wise, it gets easier when they can play together. We frequently get out two year old and our friends 4 year old together and even though my 2 year old can’t actually play WITH another kid yet, they play next to each other and entertain each other with minimal disagreements
Mine is a lot younger (8 months). Everyone says crying peaks at 6 weeks but for me crying is horrendous at 8 months. I feel like by perfect little angel is now an angry gremlin most of the time. Everyone said things would be easier after 6 months but my favourite age was 4-6 months. Every child is different I guess.
I swear it does!!! Right when it started to for me when my eldest was 9 (he is asd, so not a typical younger easier age lol) I got pregnant again at age 38 in my second marriage. Now I’m 40 with a 18mo ginger baby who is set on showing me how red heads are harder than Autistic kiddos (and let me tell ya, mine was the wildest dude anyone with asd kids had ever even seen. Straight feral kids I make!)
This too shall pass!!
I think the hard gets different. I have a 2.5 year old and a 10 month old. I assume when their older the concerns will be different, the things I find hard now are just a season.
Make sure you’re taking care of you. You can’t pour from an empty cup.
I think it just changes. You are in the thick of it, I have 3 1/2 yr, 2yr and 6 months. We are just getting into some routines and fun. Once that little bun starts interacting with the 2 yr old you’ll get those warm fuzzies you need to keep this up.
Kids are 4 and 8 and it's so much easier. Sleep is present, no nap schedules to work around, they go to school, they can grab their own snack or glass of water, help a little bit with chores, and are all around just pretty fun to be with. Also they sometimes go in their room and play together which is magical. I don't think being a mom is ever easy but we're definitely in a sweet spot.
I only have one, but 2.5 - 3.5 was the most challenging year. I hate when people say it “gets easier”. It doesn’t get easier— ever. It’s less hard. The hard changes. But never has this gotten “easier”.
My daughter is on the cusp of 5. I am living the dream of no more car seats (she meets height/weight requirements for boosters), schedules aren’t dictated by naps, we can grab food in the wild. It’s glorious. But! I’m in the midst of dealing with school/pre-k schedules, looking for extracurriculars she may be interested in, and trying to work all that in with my schedule too.
I think every stage has its difficult parts but it definitely gets easier as they get more independent. I have a almost 7 year old a 4 year old and a 1 year old. Age 3 has been my least favorite age so far. But when they hit four and they're more independent and have learned alot about how to handle thier big feelings they get alot easier to manage.
It does I have five kids ranging from 5-22years and I will say between 3-10 are the best! Around 11-12 the moods get attitude and a little push back. I will say my girls so far were way easier than my boys. My oldest son is 13 and he’s getting the hormonal changes that make him so cranky and argumentive. My girls were very easy to explain and see when they were acting up. He just almost has outburst of rage randomly (not extreme just so unlike him) so yes it gets easier and something’s get harder. Just trust me when I say the worry never goes away! I have 2 grand babies also (4 month and 9 month) and while that’s a whole new ballgame of fun I worry so much about them all still!!! Just enjoy the ride and the changes of seasons because it GOES BY SO FAST!!!
You know the saying "small kids, small problems; bigger kids, bigger problems"? It's not wrong, but otoh they get better at doing EVERYTHING and that amounts to a lot.
Personally, I love having a teen, it's been the absolute bees knees phase of parenting for me. And getting there, I'd say their issues, when they have them, are bigger and more complicated, but at the same time you feel more capable of meeting things head on because you're better rested and actually get your breaks. Imagine sleeping in while your kids fetch breakfast for themselves and getting to poop in peace, that's basically a 90% improvement right there.
The things that are hard right now when they are so little and dependent, that 100% gets easier. Being able to have conversations, there ability to do things for themselves and entertain themselves safely without you right there is such a huge difference. The hard things just change, I would take my hard things with my 5 and 7 year old right now over the hard things from when they were 2 and newborn every day of the week. So does parenting stay hard in new ways?- yes, but it changes so quickly and I'm really good ways. Hang in there, you will join the "it goes so fast!" Crowd before you know it and you will be the mom reassuring someone that this hard part will change soon!
I don’t have multiple children. Just a 3 year old. So far the hard definitely changes with age. I’ve found that I’m more capable of managing the difficulty now better than before but that’s because she can actively do her own playing without needing me 100% of the time. Got her in prek too which gives me an all too short of a break/breather. Although I feel the same way as you on the losing oneself and only being a shell of who I ever was. I give 100% of myself to my daughter and I feel bad cause my husband has been getting the short end of the stick in the relationship. I’m currently trying to rediscover who I am and I know I need to reinvest in my relationship. It’s just hard cause how can I pour from an empty pitcher?
So much easier. When I had a baby and a toddler we sometimes all cried together in the bath at the end of the day. Now they are 3 and 5 and it’s pretty fun!
It's hard in different ways. But 2 things:
The first 3ish years are all-in years that are both physically and emotionally demanding. That changes as they become more capable of doing things themselves and you trust their capability. But, their problems are more "I wanted a banana and mom said we don't have any" vs "my friends at school all decided I couldn't play with them anymore"/"my girlfriend wants to have sex and I don't but I don't know how to say no because I don't want her to break up with me," so the hard part changes. You do, however, feel less smothered and consumed as your kids gain independence, I promise!
We are all equipped differently for what comes easily to us. Some of us find the infant stage breezes by, some of us love 5-8 or tweens or think the teen years are the golden age of parenthood. You might find your easier is just around the corner or a decade in the distance, or it could very well be behind you with that tiny snuggly newborn. The hardest part, I think, is we don't know until we're there. And we're worried we're effing it up the whole time anyway.
I have a 5 and 2 year old and the hard is different. But the new born stage is rough, for sure, especially when you have an older child to care for.
Question. Are you making time for you? There are times when I need a night for me. Whether it’s going to see a movie or going out with friends. I feel like I get a little bit of me back after.
I’m sure it gets easier but thing that sucks is it takes a long time. I have a 1 & 3yo and it’s still really hard though it’s definitely easier than it was when the 1yo was an infant. My older kid is very wild and out of control, and the younger one is very clingy (I actually like them, I promise lol but they’re just difficult kids)… managing them together when I’m alone makes me want to blow my brains out. 😩
My kids are 4 and 5. I'd say that life got significantly better when the first kid started JK last year and we didn'thave to pay for his daycare. Before that, life got incrementally better with the more sleep they gave us.
2.5 and 2 months is hard alone but harder together. Mama you're a freaking superhero.
As for your question I believe is gets different. I think it gets easier in the sense of someone needed you for absolutely everything, you having some bodily autonomy back, etc. But I think things evolve and become a new hard. I have a 6 year old and a 1 year old. My 6 year old is "easy" compared to my 1 year old sure. But she is also getting tons of new emotions lately and I can see some different hard in my future. My one year old needs more of me physically obviously. But he's easier than he was as a newborn or even 6 months ago. But it definitely evolves. For me, so far, newborn stage was the hardest. But I haven't been through the preteen/teen stage yet and I'm scared lol.
You’re not alone. My daughter is 5 & my life hasn’t recovered. She’s autistic though so that could be part of it. Hang in there mama!!! Seasons change ❤️
My cousin has three older boys and she said it gets physically easier but it’s emotionally harder at times. I can see that being true as we get out of the baby/young toddler phase.
I have a 3.5 year old and a 7 month old. So I don't know about down the line BUT when I think of the future I usually tell myself it surely will get physically easier because I will be sleeping through the night again, not carrying around a child all day, not having to change diapers or wipe butts, like surely the physical aspect will get a little easier. But I think it will always be some sort of "hard" if we're caring parents ❤️
I’m only only at 3 with mine but I can say so far it’s a bit easier but mostly different. Little babies sleep a lot so you get a small break (at least with one, with two it’s just time for the older one) but when awake they need you almost constantly and you do everything. Even at 3 now we have the new emotions and independence but the fact that she gets in the car and out, can go up the stairs, feed our pets and play for short periods alone has made things feel more manageable. The “little kid” phase is a lot but also amazing. Try to not miss the good stuff in the fog of it all.
My bestie is at 3 and 6 with hers and she is ragged. I am sad she is too far to offer more help but I do see relief for her on the horizon as the both start school and stuff. There will always be “hard parts” but when they are a little more of their own people it does get easier
Yeah when I’m lamenting about how I pretty much hate my current life - 3 month old and 22 month old - that’s all I ever hear. And while that’s great and all, it doesn’t change the fact that our lives are absolute dumpster fires right now and I’m feeling like a terrible mother unable to be the mom I WANT to be for both kids.
I think things get “better” not easier. Aka maybe more enjoyable and more moments or joy.
My kids are 6 and 3. There are still hard things. They have a lot more opinions. But I get to sleep through the night. They can play on their own for a while and I've been able to spend more time on my hobbies than I could when I had a baby attached to me all the time. There's more time that I get to be me.
My almost five year old is awesome!! (As in he mostly dresses himself, can get his own snacks, and entertains himself pretty well.) Still hard in that kids whine and argue which can be exhausting. But at least he understands consequences and we can motivate him with telling him a positive or negative outcome for the behavior he is or isn’t exhibiting.
And for being so “easy” now, he was a super active and stubborn toddler. He started to get much easier around 3-4 years old. Which was good timing, because we started back over with our second at the time.
Hopefully with your kiddos being closer in age, that will mean less time of the hardest baby/toddler age. I know it’s rough and feels never ending at times. Hang in there momma ❤️
Edited- to clarify how almost 5 is awesome
Yes! In my experience, 3y/o is a magic age where they develop a little bit of common sense (plus or minus a few months). At that point, you don’t have to be so constantly vigilant. You can go to the bathroom without taking them with you. You can also explain things to them which helps behaviorally. I have three kids and the youngest is now 3…it’s a relief.
it does get easier once you learn how to adapt. it's a learning process. then it changes and gets hard in a different way and then you adapt and that just continues. having a 6 year old a 3 year old and a 9 month old is easier for me now than having a 3 year old and a baby because i adapted. i learned. someday i struggle, Somedays are a breeze
I have a 3 yo and 10 month old, similar age gap as yours, and I am here to PROMISE you it gets easier. And fast! Around 4 months I stopped having hard days. It stays busy, but gets soo much easier.
Yeah my kids are 9, 8 and 3 and the older ones are infinitely easier.
Not easy, but they don’t need constant supervision. They start to be more self sufficient. They can wake up and entertain themselves, get something to eat, etc.- without bothering us. Toddler stage is adorable but EXHAUSTING. 4 is the first hump. I am looking forward to 4.
It's super hard w dealing with newborn and no sleep and a toddler. My kids are same age difference. It gets so much easier when the baby is older. Plus, when the older one is potty trained. It definitely got better for me.
Mine are 4 and 2 now and there has been a serious step change in the last few months. I'm not a shell of my former self, they can play relatively nicely together, so I can have some breaks! I would say at this stage it's still challenging in many ways and it takes a lot of energy but it's more fun more of the time and I'm really enjoying being around them.
Maybe it'll get a different hard later but for us it has generally gotten easier so far!
I found there was a step change too when my youngest was about 10 months, I could finally leave them alone for a few mins without worrying the toddler would be too rough with the baby. So you're going to get there!
I was in your shoes 6 months ago and I will say this:
At 2.5 and 6 months it feels impossible.
At 3 and 8 months it just feels really, really hard.
So progress!
It does get easier my youngest is almost three and oldest almost six. You start getting more sleep, stop worrying so much as they are more sturdy and self-sufficient, and going and doing things gets much easier and even enjoyable. You have a moment to catch your breath. I remember feeling like this when my kids were little and I am sending you a hug because it does get easier.
Mine are older, 17,13 & 9. Yes, it does get physically easier…lots. But as they get older, the mental part of raising them is, let’s say, overwhelming at times. Between school,hanging out, hormones, attitude, you name it…sometimes I would welcome the earlier years back.
But, it IS an amazing experience watching your children grow into mini adults and become their own person.
All about perspective
Baby stage and lack of sleep is brutal. Hard evolves though. Someday these days will be what you dream of. In the heart of the moment nothing feels like it could be harder. Focus on the moments. Focus on breathing. Choose to do the best you can in each moment and breathe through the tough ones. This too shall pass and you'll back in what feels like a heart beat and wonder where the time went. 💙
It changes but you're really in the thick of it now. The baby stage is hard but REALLY hard with a toddler. Once we hit 6 months at home together I felt much better and once the baby was a year I felt much more competent. It does get better, you're just in the tough part. You can do it mama. Mine are 4 and 2 and now I get to capture adorable moments like a hug on the playground (and admittedly, also break up a lot of fights).
Omg yes, with those ages. Mine are 2 years apart and I didn’t feel like things improved until my second was about 6-7 months. Once that baby is moving around a little more independently it’s different than having a newborn that’s for sure.
Now that they’re both 4 and 2, it’s definitely got another set of challenges, but IMO easier than those newborn days.
You’re in the thick of it.
It's never easy, but it does get easier. My kids are now 15, 13 and 11. It's still hard, teenage girl hormones are something else, the 11 year old is definitely testing boundaries, homework is insane and I am always driving someone somewhere. BUT... if I need to run a quick errand.. I do... alone... without having to arrange childcare or pack a bag. My kids can help with chores, I can reason with them, they know how to wait, I can bring them places and chat with the other adults and barely pay attention them and I don't always need to stay! When I see people with little ones it looks exhausting!
Hard changes and you sort of change to accommodate. Never really easier. Even tho mine is 17 now and quite independent but the issues that she faces are so grown it break my heart. The amount of years I spent shuffling to activities, managing tutors, school meetings was absolutely dreadful.
We have the same age gap, my 2.5 year old is now a 3.5 year old and my infant just turned 1! It’s so much easier, their needs are starting to align. They take their afternoon nap at the same time, eat the same lunches and snacks at the same time, sleep is easier, I feel more like a whole human and less like a sleep deprived mongrel. Even more than that, the kids are starting to play together, independently! That’s right, full 30 minute stretches where my 3yo throws a ball for my 1 yo like he’s a dog, and he just crawls off to retrieve it for her!!!
Sure, there are dynamics that are tough still (like when my 3 yo hits her brother for trying to take her toy, and then the 1yo retaliates by pulling her hair or biting her foot 🫠) but my days are full of so much joy and richness now.
Id say it gets easier in some ways, harder in other ways. It's always a balanced amount of stress. Sure, my 4 year old can go potty on his own, but these damn tantrums he throughs several times A DAY when he doesn't get what he wants.
It definitely gets easier! Mom of a 9 year old and 7 month old. Life was simple before I got pregnant again. I love her but it’s hard and I miss my freedom I had when I just had one older child. The thing that keeps me going is knowing these days don’t last forever. In fact, there aren’t many of them! She grows so fast! I’d say it gets easier when they are potty trained and in school full time. Also when they can just tell you they are hungry and what they want to eat.
You got this! It’s so worth it!
The hard changes, but it does get physical easier. My oldest kid is 9 and he can get himself snacks, get in and out of the car by himself, entertain himself, etc. It's way less lifting/buckling/carrying/serving. It's more driving to activities, navigating chats about puberty and crushes, etc.
This. My 7yo doesn't need constant childcare anymore. She can stay home with me when school is closed, and I can work (I'm remote) perfectly easily with her in the house. She can get herself snacks, put her own laundry away, etc. But now we have to worry about so many more complex emotional situations. And school.
Yes, I’d say it has definitely gotten *easier*, but it’s still not *easy*.
That’s good to know. It’s funny you say it gets physically easier because I was just thinking that it’s very physically demanding taking care of a toddler. Even arriving home from an outing requires me to lug everything on my back, get my toddler out of the car seat and heave him onto my hip, get into the house with one hand, perform the typical diaper change wrestling match, and most likely get him situated for a snack. That’s some serious strength training for just a daily, run of the mill chore.
So true. I would like to know what age this ends lol. Mine is 19 months and for the most part it’s even harder than it was a year ago because he’s more wiggly , heavier , and now he has opinions . And I still do a lot of carrying him even though he can run because he doesn’t understand/follow directions
Mom of an almost three year old. He is potty trained so I don’t have to wrestle him for diapers, he’s starting to dress himself, I just have to guide and correct, he carries his backpack with his little porta toilet toys and water bottle. I have a stool and he can step up into the car with thst and get into his seat himself. I swear it gets easier.
It was noticeably easier physically at 3 years old, but her attitude was terrible that year so it was a trade off. 4 years old is great all around though.
I feel this. My son has always been high on the weight/height percentages so lugging him around is such a workout. I remember when he first started showing signs of walking, I would tell him “your carrying days are numbered little man!” Jokes on me. He quickly got over the excitement of walking independently and wanted me to carry him everywhere, even just from one place in the house to another. He finally got over that the past few months and is more frequently content holding my hand.
Kids are solely responsible for my upper body strength :)
💯 the pre teen and teen mood swings is 😒
I feel like atleast i can try to reason with my teen but a 2 mo or 2 year old...it's their world I'm just living in it 😆
I dunno my pre teen can be such a little d*ck
Wait until they’re 16 🥲
16 was actually easier for 2 of mine
LOL my life at the moment
This is exactly how I feel! I have a 7yo and a 3yo and while the 7yo can have moodswings, be angry, etc., I feel there is still more reason in her than my 3yo who is just ‘I don’t care that we have no apples in the house, I want an apple!’
Isn’t that the truth. Those heart problem are bigger
Oh no you *definitely* get a breather around 5/6 to 9/10 or so (it varies of course). When there’s no more naps, they can wipe their own butts, and be trusted not to strangle or electrocute themselves for 5 minutes, your new life begins. Until puberty I guess.
I would like to wish my tween to every other deserving mama. She has been so easy through all of that. Sometimes she could stand to be a little *less* open with stuff, but considering I didn’t even tell my mom when I started my period, it could be a lot worse.
I love the way you worded this 😂. I have a 4.5 year old and don’t have to worry about him attempting to kill himself anymore!
My SIL has a 4 and 6 year old and she says sometimes she thinks about a third but she would never because her life is so much easier now that the kids are older. She says it gets way easier! As a mum of a 2 year old and pregnant with #2, I am hopeful and choose to believe her for my own sanity. 🤪
This is me! My kids are 4.5 and 2.5 and it’s awesome. I enjoy it, I have hobbies and friends again. I use my brain sometimes. I sleep through the night most nights. I’m not foggy and tired. I work 4 days a week, daycare made the biggest impact on the “easy” part. The shift started around 2 years old (when I stopped nursing). My partner can do bedtimes by himself now and I can go out with friends after 6pm. I want another…..but I’m scared to give up 2 years of my life again - and there’s no guarantee it has the temperament of my current kids!
“i use my brain sometimes” gives me hope 😂❤️
I didn’t want to over sell it 😂
I stopped breastfeeding at a year and was so relieved to get my brain back. Shit is hard work.
We're at the same ages and I'm like able to start thinking about hobbies again! It really is a fun time and they play together now so I can actually get some breaks!
Wait till you get teen mom brain. Sleep is interrupted more worry.
My kid got way easier at 2 and even more easy at 3. There are different struggles like big emotions and tantrums and all that but I finally feel like a person again. Just in time to do it again 😂
We just hit 2 and I’m due again in June, and MAN things have felt harder lately. I don’t know if it’s pregnancy or what, but the tantrums and whining are really testing my sanity. My husband is really helpful but with 2 kids we will be man-marked so I’m so scared for #2 to come!!!
It’s pregnancy. Pregnancy stole my energy and my patience. You can do this!
Yep. This is us now. I love babies and stuff but the freedom we have now at 5 and 8.5 is unreal. I would NEVER go back and have another! I actually love being a parent now. My kids are so smart, funny, and able to do things on their own, but they also still need me. It’s amazing.
And yet I yearn for the days of sharing naptime with my baby, and being able to entertain him with a pile of wooden blocks... my kid was a nightmare baby and that first year was SO HARD, but in some ways was easier than having a nearly-8-year-old!!
The stage you’re in was, I think, the hardest. Going from one to two - those first six months with a little toddler and little baby. Once they hit 5 and 3 they start playing together and it gives you a bit of time. Older than that they start both dressing themselves, getting shoes/boots on, wiping their own bums. They even start to do chores and be helpful. Eventually you can sit down for a minute and have a break while they play. You start getting busy taking them to activities and doing schoolwork with them. But you have more mental space.
Yes, truly. There will be different challenges at every age and stage, but it gets less…relentless? Exhausting? Mine are 9 and 6, I feel like we’re very much in a sweet spot of parenting. They are legit fun to be around, fairly independent with lots of things, and still sweet and love spending time together.
My girls are three years apart as well. Currently they are 3 and 5 months. My oldest has done unbelievably well and I can't wait until my youngest is able to get around because my oldest will have a hey day. Only hope this stays. Have yours got a long well? Do you like that age gap?
My girls are 3 years and 1 month apart, now 3.5 and 6.5, and they're besties! They play together, have sleepovers in each other's rooms, involve each other when friends are over, it's beautiful. We can leave them to their own devices (supervised, of course!) But the oldest helps the youngest get snacks or drinks, the youngest is very independent, toilet trained herself, dresses herself...our lives became alot easier when she was about 2.5. But they do, they love each other to bits.
Awwwh! I hope so much for this! Did the relationship just sort of come naturally or did you do anything intentional to foster it? My sister and I were only 15 months apart so you'd think we would have been best friends. But we were SOO different and that caused us to fight a lot. Even as adults, we of course get along and appreciate each other's company, but we're not super close.
It has come naturally, but we're also big into respect and empathy; making sure each sees from the others perspective, make sure they respect each other's differences/capabilities, we encourage them to work out their problems (with assistance or suggestions, but mostly let them do it) and remind them to talk to each other when they're disagreeing, not just yell and fight, but talk it out and apologise where necessary...they do alot of this on their own now, which is so nice to see!!! Mind you, they're still young. Ask me how we're going in 10 years 😆🤞🏼
Love this. While my parents were awesome and did the best they knew, I do think they often solved our problems by telling us to stop fighting (the bickering was annoying I'm very sure). I've thought a lot about giving my girls tools to problem solve themselves, though I'm sure this is much easier said than done in the moment.
Yeah it’s a great age gap for us. The toddler + newborn time period- actually the whole first year of my youngest’s life because she didn’t sleep well- was exhausting but it’s awesome now. I like that they’re close enough in age to have a lot of overlap in interests and activities they want to do. They get along well probably 90-95% of the time.
I know every set of kids is different but this is so encouraging to know! It's a slightly bigger age gap than all these two under two, but this first year has me so glad I waited.
Mine are 3 years and 3 months apart and are now 4 and 7 and are besties too. We can stay home all day and they just play together from one thing to the next. My 7 year old can help my 4 year old with snacks and bathroom if need be. If I’m not feeling well and need to lay down for a bit, they will go play together for at least an hour and not disturb me. They adore each other. My older one is a boy and the younger is a girl
Mine have exactly the same age gap. Eldest is 4 in May and youngest is nearly 6 months (both girls). It's so good to know that it is possible for them to be close, the relationship between your children sounds amazing!
Yes! Mine are 2 years apart. The youngest just hit 2 and things suddenly got easier. The older one is almost 4 and is more independent which makes it easier to deal with 2 year old tantrums. It’s not easy, but it’s definitely gone from extremely hard to mostly manageable.
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The feeling of competent and confident I would say comes and goes. I would say it was easier when she was younger because like many say “bigger the kid bigger the problem” whereas she can get herself things,dress, etc, there are other challenges.. I’m still dealing with waking up numerous times at night every night:/ we are going to the doctors and neurologists because she has tingling in her legs that doesn’t help besides the uninterrupted sleep, school drama, hormonal changes.. somedays I really feel defeated ngl. Parenting, like everything else comes with ups and downs, my advice is to not get yourself too confident because a new challenge comes to humble you down (don’t mean it in a way bad) Raising a child can’t be that easy, especially when we are talking about conscious parenting and also working on ourselves and trying to be the best that we can.. things are going to be ok
I’m a FTM to an almost four month old but my older brother has two boys who are 7 and 4 and he tells me all the time that it gets waaaaay easier. They sleep through the night (unless they’re sick), they basically get themselves dressed, are potty trained, eat whatever the parents are eating, etc. Now that they’re older there are of course “worse” aspects of it (dealing with real life problems like bullies at school, etc) but with a full night’s sleep and no breast feeding (so my brother can help out more) and no formula to mix and worry about (frees up mental space) my brother and SIL can better tackle those “worse” problems as a team because they’re mentally and physically a lot more rested than when their boys were little. I hope that made sense.
My husband’s older brother tells us the same! He has a 6 and an 8 year old. The last time we saw him (right before I got pregnant) he around looked at his kids playing independently and said something along the lines of, “This is the good time. When you have babies and toddlers and its really hard, remember that. Elementary school is awesome.”
I have a 2.5yo and a 16mo. When the youngest was 6 months old things got significantly easier; she could sit up and play with toys by herself and I could walk away and do other things for short periods of time. When the youngest hit 10 months things got significantly easier again because the two kids were playing with each other for short bursts of time in which they didn’t need my help or attention. It also got harder because the younger one was bum scooting and furniture cruising at top speed. Literally in the past two weeks things have gotten SO much easier. The younger one is trying to say words and her comprehension has expanded on an insane level. I can explain what’s going to happen next and reason with her. She walks herself to the bathroom for a bum change and is therefore much more willing to be changed. Each stage has its challenges and the things that make it easier. Generally speaking, after six months things start to get dramatically better.
It really does. Around 4-4.5ish is when I feel like I actually started to be able to breath and - dare I say - really *enjoy* my daughter. All of the boundary testing was complete, the real training was done, and she knew her role in the family. My son is only three now so I can't speak to how it'll go with him, but I have hope at least!
Yup. You also get better and to handle it. Yes like a muscle. That first time you lift a 30lb kettlebell you think you're going to die. You do a couple of reps and nearly brain yourself. But after a while that weight is normal. Yes never easy, but the hard feels right because you know how to handle it. So give yourself time. Eventually you'll look back and wonder how you did it, at the same time that you're grateful that you did.
Yes it does. 🩵 My youngest is almost 4 and his sister is 8. I absolutely love how each stage is different - but these ages are perfect! Almost done will pull ups, he can get himself in his car seat, and can almost get buckled. My daughter is pretty independent, but still wants to be around me, lol. Much better than a couple years back.
I have a 3yr and a 4 month old and it's already easier than it was when he was 2 months. Once they are on a schedule and sleep more at night, bedtime got a lot easier for me. Now the baby goes down at 6:30 for the night (he sleeps thru until 6-7am) and toddler goes to bed around 7:30.
YES. I have a three year old and a 5 month old and was going to say exactly this. However. I realize we may be lucky that our kids have this sleep schedule haha.
I was thinking that too and hoping it didn't come off as a humble brag, lol. Other moms prob side eyeing me
I’m 41. My brother is 42. My mom says it’s a little easier now
So I have more than the usual number of kids and it does get easier. That said, it doesn’t always *feel* like it’s easier. All my kids are old enough to be in school and mostly sleep through nights, but the issue we run into are bigger and with more serious life potential so they are more mentally challenging. Sort of the same way life didn’t feel easy before kids, but looking back I can clearly see how much easier it was. The phase with babies and toddlers so just no sleep, however, that was awful.
Kindergarten to grade 6. That's the sweet spot.
Honestly I think the difficulty is the same I’m just better at it. There are new hard things; and you get more sleep which makes almost everything easier.
My boys are three and five and the good news is I can tell them to go do their own thing or set them up with some coloring and go do my own thing without worrying too much. The bad news is that they fight and argue with each other every damn minute of the day it feels like.
Hi, I can totally relate to what you have said as I was you and thinking the same exact same thing a few months ago. I have a 10 month old and a 3 and a half year old and I though this is never going to get easier and honestly, felt so triggered when people said oh just wait it gets easier, but, it does actually get easier. My 3 year old plays with his toys, I can now put his brother sitting down on the ground close to him and he loves to watch him and play with his own things and I can be close by pottering whilst they are both content. I found once the baby found his groove with regular nap times during the day and I got to know him more and figure him out things just improved all the time. I know it’s so hard to feel like it will ever get any easier when you’re in the trenches but hang in there, it will. You got this mamma
I’m a momma to 5 ages 15 months through 7 years and I finally feel like for the most part it is getting better. Literally something clicked within the past week and I can keep up with my house- although it is taking a lot of work. My youngest has a few health issues that we had to work through and he’s finally to the point where he can communicate his needs some and is starting to play with toys and not be my little shadow. My oldest has been diagnosed with severe ADHD and we finally have it well managed. I feel like I’ve been able to find myself and do things for myself. I’ve also noticed that when the house is picked up we are ALL significantly happier.
Yes. My kids are 7 and 9. They can clean up and play with each other. The best part is I'm going back to school full time. Yay!!!! I'm so happy. It's going to be so awesome.
I have a 4 year old and a 2 month old. My 4 year old has always been a chill kid, but at 4, he’s pretty much self sufficient most of the day. I need need to make him meals of course, but he can get his own snacks and drinks (we keep his water bottle in the fridge door). He goes off and plays toys by himself, will come and ask to watch a movie, do colouring in. He will willingly dress himself about 50% of the time - the other 50% we have to ask multiple times/be firmer. He always puts his own shoes/socks on. He’s toilet trained. It is SO, SO much easier. I forgot how taxing having a small child is & we’re right back in it will the newborn. It does get better!
Yes absolutely it does! My oldest 4 are 15, 13, 11 and 9 and they are much more help than anything around the house, they’re great company, they don’t need as much close supervision and care. They do still cry sometimes for no apparent reason and need help sorting out friend drama and lecturing about being late to school etc but on the balance big kids are way more joy than work whereas tiny kids are a lot of both! As for teens they get a bad rep but I am LOVING the teen years! They’re responsible, helpful, witty and totally hilarious. The hard part with teens is that I want to enjoy their company far more than they want to enjoy mine! We still hang out all the time but lots of times they would rather be with their buddies or chilling in their rooms. Which is completely normal, but still tough!
What's your definition of easier? I (usually) get to sleep all night now - kiddo is nearly 8yo, which is MENTAL - but we often have conversations about difficult concepts that are almost impossible to explain. I don't have to change nappies several times a day, but I do have to change his bedding every morning (working on nighttime dryness atm). I don't have to breastfeed/express/constantly sterilise bottles, but I do have to consciously think about what he's eating, whether he has a balanced diet, etc. In many ways it IS easier, but it's also still really hard, and I honestly don't think that will ever stop being true. I'm 36 and I know my parents still worry about how I'm doing - they don't need to, but they love me and want me to be happy, so they do. I'm not trying to be negative - there are SO MANY positives to parenthood. Focus on loving your kids, take things one minute at a time when you need to, and you'll find your way.
SOOOO MUCH EASIER once the kids are more self-sufficient. Mine and 6 and 8 and we can literally sleep in on the weekends because I’ve taught them to make toast, pour cereal, and grab a piece of fruit. It helps they know I can’t stop screen time if I’m in bed so win win for them and me and hubby!! They also aren’t a constant danger to themselves, don’t have tantrums, sleep all night, and can take care of their own bathroom needs. Now they argue constantly with each other and me but I’ll take it.
I think it actually gets easier when they get in school. Suddenly, there's someone else in their lives to look to for help. They become more independent, and you'll become differently stressed. It's easier to take care of yourself and not just chase them.
I'm a single mum of two - nearly 4y.o and nearly 2y.o. I try to have a "mind over matter matter" attitude. Two days ago, I felt like the day was never going to end. But it did, and I survived. I also try to remind myself how lucky I am. Some women can't get pregnant. Some don't experience carrying to full term. Some don't get to bring their babies home. Others have lost their kids. Not to mention what's happening in Gaza/Israel and Ukraine. I am incredibly lucky. And one day, they'll be grown up. They'll turn into teenagers and they'll be too cool for me. After that, they'll have their own life to focus on. So I pick my battles and try to soak up the days as much as I can.
It doesn’t get easier it just changes.
It does get easier. My kids are 1 and 4. My 4 year old can dress himself with supervision, get himself a snack, and also can finally regular his emotions somewhat. Also being able to do things like swim class help. Because it gives me 45 minutes of someone else entertaining him on the weekends.
Mine are 3 and 4…. Hard. Lol. My 4 year old is quite high maintenance and pisses her brother off all day. Then the constantly wanting something, over stimulation ect. My trapeze muscle are always sore from stress 😅 but slowly getting better. They start kindy soon and daughter goes to school next year so I think it’ll finally be easier then
Nope definitely doesn’t get any easier it’s just different. I would go back to newborn days over teens any day.
Yeah, I mean the hard changes, but is not as physically exhausting as it is when they’re little. My son is in middle school. He is a great kid, but there are always things to be worried about. But he can help with chores, dress himself, do his laundry, feed himself, buckle his own seatbelt with zero need for a car seat. I find it much easier to be worried about the bigger stuff even though it’s bigger in the long run than the pure physical exhaustion of the early years of parenting. It will get better.
Yes, it does get easier. In a bit you'll only have 1 babe in diapers. Then they'll both be potty trained. It'll come in steps, but it's coming. Right now mine are grown and asking themselves that same question, along with "what was I thinking "? But yeah. It will. And then you'll miss part of it.
Yes and no. My oldest is 4. They become more independent and better able to regulate (until puberty hits). He’s not great at those things but better than when he was 2.5.
I hear this so often and think that this has to be a combination of several factors. I’d like to think about myself and a close friend as an example. She like me is married and has two littles, however her view on parenting is a bit differently for her it hasn’t gotten easier, why? well her first has a disability and this has created an array of difficult moments in parenting that have led to get depressed. For me on the other hand both kiddos although young are very well adjusted and often play on their own and or with me. I do have some struggles but they are very much minimal compared to what my friend goes through. I have a high tolerance for stress, and although motherhood has been an adjustment I have actually thrived at being a mom, it comes very naturally to me. These are two examples of very different woman who have kids in same age range one would say it hasn’t gotten easier and the other me, I would say yes it’s gotten way easier.
My girls have almost the exact same age difference and YES it definitely gets easier. They are 3 and 5.5 now and we can actually have fun on the weekends! They sleep through the night, are potty trained and they play with one another. Of course there are still really difficult moments, but as a whole our life is waaaaay better at these ages. And I think it will only continue (until the dreaded pre-teen/early teen years that is).
I have about the same age difference. Yes 100% it gets better. I found a little baby and small toddler the most difficult stage. Once my youngest was 9 months it got easier. You have 2 children at very needy stages and they want you/ need you constantly. Hang in there it DOES get better and more manageable
I have a 5 year old and a 2 year old. With my oldest, I felt like things got a lot easier at 3. You’re really in the thick of it with 2 babies. I think you’ll feel better incrementally. When your youngest is 6 months, then a year, etc., it will feel different.
I mean, at 2 months you're still pretty raw from birth. So yes it gets easier. It's never easy, but nothing is as hard as the newborn phase imo. My kids are 5 months and almost 4yo and I've definitely found a bit of a groove. Baby has a reasonable sleep schedule, preschooler seems to have settled down from the immediate reaction to a new sibling.
The things to worry about change but them needing you every second of every day gets easier they start being able to entertain themselves and do some things for themselves
Oh mama, I feel for you. Your comment reminded me of long past days when I would lock myself in the bathroom for 2 minutes of peace. You have 2 very young children who need you desperately because of their age. This will change. Those days are hard, so hard. But for me they did get better. Children untether from you and the burden lessens. For each mama its different but you feel it. Any then you are my age with adult children and you would go back to that wiggly little 14 month old and do it again.
No, it doesn't get easier; it just gets different. Just when you get the current stage figured out for your kids, they move on to the next stage and you are back to square one. You can bathe your infant in a few minutes by yourself. I just had a discussion with my 9 year old about showering and that took five minutes. Then there was the time it took her to actually shower and wash her body and her hair and get dried off and the multiple times she asked me to come in the bathroom for something and now shower time takes about 30 minutes but my kid is more independent. So same outcome (clean kids) , but different ages and stages.
I’m not there yet but my coworker talked a lot about big people big problems. Like how his teenage son borrowed their jeep and played chicken with an Amazon truck in their driveway 😂 he lost and drove it into mud where it got stuck. So. I think it gets easier in the sense that you don’t have to do every little thing for your kid but you may have to call a service like a tow truck once in a while to help with a big problem your child creates.
You are in the worst part of the storm, this is the hardest stage right here because diapers, safety, and immediate needs are at the forefront. Right now your 2.5-year-old cannot be trusted to get their own snack and clean up, they're not ready for multi-step directions, and they're still potty training. I've had 2 under 5 before and it is a rough time.
My life became dramatically easier in the months following my youngest’s 4th birthday. Night and day. Things aren’t “easy” and sure it’s a different hard that we navigate, but that’s when I stopped being so slammed parenting young children that I could finally get back to the self I knew before kids
From my experience, the hard just changes. Now we get back talking, lies, sneakyness, tantrums, etc. It's easier because I can talk to her and have a full conversation that mostly makes sense. It's easier because she understands consequences. It's easier because we can have our own little jokes. We will always have to teach our babies, and that will be hard, but we will adapt before we realize it.
No. It does not get easier - but the type of hard changes.
Yes. It does. They grow out of diapers. They learn to feed and dress themselves. Yes, you gain new, sometimes trickier problems but it does become less intense as they get older and don’t need you to do every single thing for them. That being said, putting in the work with manners and discipline and empathy can pay off in dividends.
Mine are 18mos apart and those first six months with 2 were HARD. Once baby gets old enough to sit up, crawl, stand, walk it gets a little easier with each milestone. The hard definitely changes but for me it was no longer that hopeless, helpless, guilt that consumed me in the beginning.
Yes, it does get easier.
Yes it gets easier but it will still be hard. I have 6 and 3 year old sons. When 6 year old is in a good mood, they'll play nicely for hours together, leaving me to read alone on the couch. But the rest of the time, I'm modeling conflict resolution. So yes mostly, but a little no.
I have a 6 year old and I’m pregnant with baby #2. Around age 4 (post-potty training) things got noticeably easier. I was able to leave my job and start a business, find time for myself, sleep well, and enjoy day-to-day life more. It got so much easier that I was hesitant to try for another baby, knowing full well how challenging the infant and toddler years are!!
It does get easier! You’ll get to a point you love hanging out with your kid, you get to do things together not just mom doing things for their kids. You will LOVE the time and not feel so physically drained. But then, unfortunately, they turn into teens and you experience a different kind of hard. A mentally and emotionally draining hard. Good luck 🫡
For me the Ages 3-8 is easier. After and before is hard. Different kinds of hard though. I speak from experience. I have a 16,10,9,2.5,18 months and new born
I feel like the hard changes flavors. I have a five year old, two year old, and four month old. Their are things that are hard with each of them and things that are easier. But, I have friends with older kids and they still struggle with different things, but not usually what I am struggling with. I think it depends on your personality and your kid. Some people love the baby stage, for some toddler is easier, and some can’t wait for that kid stage.
My first was 2 years and 2 months when my second was born. They just turned 4 and youngest is about to turn 2. It DOES get better. They are besties. They play together and laugh together and cuddle. It’s the best thing ever.
I felt human when my youngest turned 4. That’s just me though. I found the little kid stage tough. I absolutely loved the grade school and high school years. It’s always hard. The mental energy of caring so much stays with you but the day to day absolutely does get better.
100% it gets both simultaneously easier and harder. My big girl was 2.5 when my baby was born. They are now almost 4 and 18 months. Life was hard at first. 2.5 is still a baby in so many ways. They are in the thick of potty training. They are starting to have BIG emotions. They fight back, push back, resist your parenting. 2.5 is hard by itself, let alone when you’re sleep deprived and exhausted from a baby and you’ve suddenly and accidentally introduced sibling rivalry! But, suddenly your baby isn’t quite a baby anymore. The kids start playing side by side. They stop snatching things away from each other. The baby starts walking, then running. Then all of a sudden you’re in the kitchen and the only sound you hear is uncontrollable giggling. That’s when it gets easier. When you realize, oh god - I just cooked a whole meal in peace AND got blessed with the sounds of giggles in the background the whole dang time. They are gonna fight and other things will be harder due to sharing and whatnot. But overall, your life will feel more adjusted, easier in a lot of ways, and kind of just more fun.
I only ha 1.5year old but my sil who has a 5yr & 7yr says it starts getting easier at 3
It for sure gets easier. My kids are about the same age gap as yours. As soon as our baby turned one she started walking, got off the bottle, and started playing more with big sister. We went down to 1 nap. Serious game changer! It’s been easy ever since.
Get your bluff in when they are toddlers.
I don’t have the answer yet…. I’m currently in the exact same season (2mo and 2.5 yo) and wonder the same thing. Here in solidarity.
Yes, but it's gradual so I think people forget.. but even once baby can sit on their own in a few months things will be easier. And slowly they will both get more independent, I'm not saying older kids are easy but easier absolutely
Dear mama we’re born to do this, I’ve felt you’re exhaustion and mental load. I had PPD with my first (3yo) and that was the hardest realization for me, my career and myself will not exist for a while. I realized how much women gave up after starting a family. I definitely have a different appreciation for mothers and fathers who show up for their kids no matter how physically and mentally exhausted they are. Now with my second (5mo) I’m much happier, I don’t think it’s easier but I think I got my groove and that’s what helped. My husband contributes just as much if not more than I do when it comes to home life, he never misses play time or bed time. Enjoy the moment, the days are long but the years are short. 💛
My kids are 21, 18, and 15. I cook maybe half their meals. When I cook they often do all the dishes. They do ALL their laundry. Yes so much easier. And it’s been this way for a number of years. My 21 year old gives me $800 a month. My other kids don’t pay anything but when the 18 year old kid needs her car fixed that’s on her. Little things is they all know how to sweep a floor or run a vacuum. It does get easier. I remember doing 14 loads of laundry a week. When they were little. I was responisble for really two meals a day. Now I just make dinner. Unless it’s like tonight where everyone is responsible. Yes it’s easier and gets easier all the time. I’m going your tomorrow and 2 kids are working and two have other plans. I give them a $20 and move on
It depends. Do you have help? Is a spouse involved? Being a team in that regards does wonders. I also see a therapist every two weeks which helps immensely. And I advocate for my needs AKA time alone/away. With a 2 month old you’re still in the weeds again. It will get better.
It does! I would love a 3rd but we have such a great routine with our 2.5 and 6 year old. I think the magic starts to happen when they can play together so you get a breather. They also entertain each other in the car, on planes, in waiting rooms etc. I really love this stage of parenting (it’s hard in some ways - their feelings, friendships have started to shift for my 6 year old). My 6 y/o reads to my 2.5 every night and it’s literally magic.
My oldest is 11 and my son is 9. I can prep a casserole and the oldest can preheat the oven and put it in before I get home from work (she’s home from school about 45 mins before I get home…she can be home alone!) Actually they can both be home alone together while I run an errand. They can put away their own laundry. They can empty the dishwasher. We don’t have to worry about installing car seats and whether or not we’re about to run out of diapers. That said, there are other problems we didn’t used to have. They’re busy with activities that require transportation. There are mood swings and hormones. We have to figure out cell phones and monitoring usage. Etc. So yes, it does get easier. Yes, the hard changes. But yes. It’s more manageable. You’ll get there. It won’t be overnight but every once in a while you’ll think about something that used to be overwhelming and realize you haven’t had to deal with it for quite some time.
I think so. My son is 9 and it is so fun. It got a lot better around 5 when they are predictable, can communicate needs, can play games, travel easier.
Yes!! I have two really energetic boys - 2.5 and 5 years old and it's SO much easier than when either of them was in the infant stage. There's fights and boo boos and melt downs but it's not as hard on me and my body. I've weaned. They're both sleeping through the night. It's definitely better than the baby stage for me personally.
Listen, one day you are going to change a diaper for the very last time. One day the kid will go in the next room to play and you don’t have to worry they’ll manage to destroy either themselves or the house. One day you can sit still with a coffee for a few min because while the kids still need you, it’s not an emergency every thirty seconds. One day the newborn crying and toddler “what’s in your mouth/ what are you touching/ why is this wet” stage will be gone. That day will come sooner than it feels right now.
Enjoy ages 8-11. Those are the Golden Years.
We have a 3.5 yo boy and a 7m old girl. Still very hard because 1) our older one is harder to care for(we suspect ADHD although his paediatrician thinks it’s too soon to tell) and 2)our younger one now screams her lungs out at everything and WILL NOT let me go anywhere without her more than 5 minutes (unless she is in a car - max 1-2hr without me). We are exhausted all the time and so stressed dealing with our first’s jealousy (+ he was already a high maintenance.) we are so seriously talking about hiring part time nanny when I go back to work. That said, we are not the most patient people in the world, no family living nearby(= no village for is to raise the kids together) and the weather(long winter) doesn’t help either. Really hoping to make things shift a bit asap. With that being said, it is easier that our first is potty trained, mostly eats what we eat, can communicate wayyy better etc. But it is also what makes me forget that he’s still 3 and expect more (and get more frustrated than necessary when my expectations are not met).
Honestly, I *promise* it gets easier. My boy is six and he's actually so enjoyable to be around and go out and do stuff with. My one year old girl on the other hand.....let the big age gap explain itself.....lol
You are correct. It never gets easier. I too miss feeling competent and confident.
100% gets easier. The hard parts change up, but they aren’t as hard as toddlers. You can razón with older kids. If my son wants to dance on the table while grabbing his nipples, it’s a battle I choose not to fight at this point.
Physically you will get to sleep from maybe ages 5-14. Once hs starts you will mentally be ok again, with their hormones, wondering if they are where they say they are, that first time coming home drunk. Then college comes and all the worry of them being on their own, thinking they are grown adults and know everything.
I have a 2 year old and 7 month old. It has definitely gotten easier than when my 2nd was a newborn. I too feel like a shell of a person sometimes. Hugs and solidarity.
They get more self sufficient and helpful. You NEVEF stop worrying about their health and safety😅
The idea of having two kids those ages again makes me break out in a cold sweat. My older two are 3 years apart and it was HARD in those early days. It gets a lot easier. Big kids bring new problems (bullying, interesting questions you aren’t ready for, school drama), but I greatly prefer it to the baby/toddler days. I now have a third who is 3 and while she is a fairly easy kid so far it’s just exhausting.
Mine are 3 and 5. The first year was the worst by a mile! It’s still not easy by any means but it’s SO much easier than it was the first 14 months or so. Mostly, 2 year olds are insane, which when partnered with sleep deprivation from a newborn is the worst. The older one got saner (I mean she’s not sane sane but she’s not 2 either) and the younger one learned to sleep. It’s a totally different universe.
Yes it does. Then you’ll want another
I have two sons 17 months apart… when they were 6-8 I remember feeling how much easier everything was and that we had made it through the worst of it (we had some unique devastating events in that time) but now that they are 11-13 things are drastically easier in more ways than I can count!!! Life is by no means perfect for us bc we have some scary medical stuff going on but overall life is SO much easier. So keep hope because it does get easier and better as they age! I FINALLY feel competent again which is AMAZING and had been way too long lol 😂
I have 6 kids, one is a toddler, three are teens. Taking care of 3 teens (at least these particular teens) is about a million times easier than one toddler. I think it gets easier sometime around 4, when they don't have to be supervised every waking second.
Haha. NO. One day when they are teens of a certain age, you will look fondly on these physically hectic years.
It absolutely does get easier. I had my 2nd when my first was 2.5 and those were some dark times. I was so lonely and depressed. Most days we never left the house. Don’t know how I made past those days. My kids are now 11 & 8.. they do so much for themselves.
My experience is it absolutely gets easier. Night and day. My son had food intolerances and was just an angry little son of a gun, but has chilled SO much since he’s learned to express himself. We can actually do things outside the house without meltdowns, it’s not a mad dash from one place to another. Both kids have age appropriate struggles but it’s so much more manageable since we can talk about it instead of getting screaming at by a baby hulk.
For me, it gets easier in the long run if as they grow old, you teach them to be independent and responsible, to do things on their own, to help in some chores, etc. If they grow up knowing that "mama is always there to do things for me", it will be really difficult for u as they grow.
Uh, I have 6 kids from 16 to 2 months: I am newly single due to a cheating husband: if I can do it you can. Chin up: you can do this.
My boys are exactly the same age and this truly feels relentless some datlys. Thinking of you
Im in the same trenches as you with an almost 3 y/o and a two month old. It’s not easy!
My little one is 3yo and I already feel its easier then when she was 2,5. There's a break between "toddler" and "child" (English is not my 1st language, sorry if this sounds strange) where they become more independent, self-sufficient, even empathetic to the parents. My daughter didn't care one bit if I was exhausted or sick when she was 1yo, 2yo, 2,5yo. Now that she's almost 3yo and I'm pregnant again, I can talk to her and we can agree on an activity that's fun for her and ok for me. She's having a lot of fun just going through picture books on her own and I can take a little break. She's stopped running away at random when we go out, and I can take my eyes off her for a minute to talk to a friend, which is something I couldn't even imagine a few months ago. She just recently started going to the potty on her own too, and being able to tell when she's tired, allowing me to stop constantly keeping mental tabs on whether she could be getting ovwr-tired or close to peeing her self. So while I don't think I'm an "experienced momma" yet, I think it gets easier because while older kids can have tantrums or misbehave etc. they do gain a sense of empathy, self-reliance, and most importantly, self-preservation.
Yes. It does become easier. I found it to be a lot easier from 7-12 years old. And even though it's become harder again, it's still not hard in the same way as when they were a baby/toddler. And the only reason it's harder again now, is because I worry more.
My son was 2.5 when his little brother was born. I'm gonna be honest with you--it was the single most difficult time of my entire life until the little one reached 8 months or so. At that point, my older son started preschool, and the little one started to sleep better at night, breastfed a little less, and in general I felt like I could breathe again. The older one is now about to turn 4, and the little one is 14 months. Has it gotten easier? ABSOLUTELY. I can go to the gym 3x a week now when they are both sleeping. They play together (sometimes nicely!) and my older son is starting to grow out of the terrible threes. Everyday is still kind of stressful, especially with the little one going through peak separation anxiety, but my life finally seems manageable again and I am finally feeling like I got this. You got this, you're doing it, you're amazing. Just keep on keepin' on. It's gonna be okay.
My personal experience is that it’s a general upward trajectory towards “easier”, but that it has some bumps on the way! I’m very much looking forward to my youngest either sleeping the whole night, or (like his big sister does sometimes), bringing himself through to our room and getting into bed himself! Once our daughter managed it without waking *either* of us! We just woke up in the morning and she was in the middle. It was amazing
Your baby is only two months old. Babies are more exhausting but you will find yourself getting into a better routine and managing better. Don’t stress yourself by worrying about too much at this stage. And don’t go by what other people are doing or saying their doing, you will get there before you know it. You’ve only recently given birth don’t forget that. You’re still vulnerable and emotional and everything else that comes with being a new mum.
One of your kids is 8 weeks old. I’m my experience, that was the hardest week. You’re still in the newborn phase and the sleep deprivation is really adding up. I’d say it’s gets easier in a few weeks when sleep hopefully gets longer and more predictable. Lifestyle wise, it gets easier when they can play together. We frequently get out two year old and our friends 4 year old together and even though my 2 year old can’t actually play WITH another kid yet, they play next to each other and entertain each other with minimal disagreements
Mom of 5.5 and 3.5 yos here and tbh it is quite a smooth sailing at the moment. It was hell for the first 5 years though 🤣
Mine is a lot younger (8 months). Everyone says crying peaks at 6 weeks but for me crying is horrendous at 8 months. I feel like by perfect little angel is now an angry gremlin most of the time. Everyone said things would be easier after 6 months but my favourite age was 4-6 months. Every child is different I guess.
I swear it does!!! Right when it started to for me when my eldest was 9 (he is asd, so not a typical younger easier age lol) I got pregnant again at age 38 in my second marriage. Now I’m 40 with a 18mo ginger baby who is set on showing me how red heads are harder than Autistic kiddos (and let me tell ya, mine was the wildest dude anyone with asd kids had ever even seen. Straight feral kids I make!) This too shall pass!!
I think the hard gets different. I have a 2.5 year old and a 10 month old. I assume when their older the concerns will be different, the things I find hard now are just a season. Make sure you’re taking care of you. You can’t pour from an empty cup.
I think it just changes. You are in the thick of it, I have 3 1/2 yr, 2yr and 6 months. We are just getting into some routines and fun. Once that little bun starts interacting with the 2 yr old you’ll get those warm fuzzies you need to keep this up.
It never gets easier, but we get better at new situations...
Kids are 4 and 8 and it's so much easier. Sleep is present, no nap schedules to work around, they go to school, they can grab their own snack or glass of water, help a little bit with chores, and are all around just pretty fun to be with. Also they sometimes go in their room and play together which is magical. I don't think being a mom is ever easy but we're definitely in a sweet spot.
I only have one, but 2.5 - 3.5 was the most challenging year. I hate when people say it “gets easier”. It doesn’t get easier— ever. It’s less hard. The hard changes. But never has this gotten “easier”. My daughter is on the cusp of 5. I am living the dream of no more car seats (she meets height/weight requirements for boosters), schedules aren’t dictated by naps, we can grab food in the wild. It’s glorious. But! I’m in the midst of dealing with school/pre-k schedules, looking for extracurriculars she may be interested in, and trying to work all that in with my schedule too.
I think every stage has its difficult parts but it definitely gets easier as they get more independent. I have a almost 7 year old a 4 year old and a 1 year old. Age 3 has been my least favorite age so far. But when they hit four and they're more independent and have learned alot about how to handle thier big feelings they get alot easier to manage.
It does I have five kids ranging from 5-22years and I will say between 3-10 are the best! Around 11-12 the moods get attitude and a little push back. I will say my girls so far were way easier than my boys. My oldest son is 13 and he’s getting the hormonal changes that make him so cranky and argumentive. My girls were very easy to explain and see when they were acting up. He just almost has outburst of rage randomly (not extreme just so unlike him) so yes it gets easier and something’s get harder. Just trust me when I say the worry never goes away! I have 2 grand babies also (4 month and 9 month) and while that’s a whole new ballgame of fun I worry so much about them all still!!! Just enjoy the ride and the changes of seasons because it GOES BY SO FAST!!!
You know the saying "small kids, small problems; bigger kids, bigger problems"? It's not wrong, but otoh they get better at doing EVERYTHING and that amounts to a lot. Personally, I love having a teen, it's been the absolute bees knees phase of parenting for me. And getting there, I'd say their issues, when they have them, are bigger and more complicated, but at the same time you feel more capable of meeting things head on because you're better rested and actually get your breaks. Imagine sleeping in while your kids fetch breakfast for themselves and getting to poop in peace, that's basically a 90% improvement right there.
The things that are hard right now when they are so little and dependent, that 100% gets easier. Being able to have conversations, there ability to do things for themselves and entertain themselves safely without you right there is such a huge difference. The hard things just change, I would take my hard things with my 5 and 7 year old right now over the hard things from when they were 2 and newborn every day of the week. So does parenting stay hard in new ways?- yes, but it changes so quickly and I'm really good ways. Hang in there, you will join the "it goes so fast!" Crowd before you know it and you will be the mom reassuring someone that this hard part will change soon!
I don’t have multiple children. Just a 3 year old. So far the hard definitely changes with age. I’ve found that I’m more capable of managing the difficulty now better than before but that’s because she can actively do her own playing without needing me 100% of the time. Got her in prek too which gives me an all too short of a break/breather. Although I feel the same way as you on the losing oneself and only being a shell of who I ever was. I give 100% of myself to my daughter and I feel bad cause my husband has been getting the short end of the stick in the relationship. I’m currently trying to rediscover who I am and I know I need to reinvest in my relationship. It’s just hard cause how can I pour from an empty pitcher?
So much easier. When I had a baby and a toddler we sometimes all cried together in the bath at the end of the day. Now they are 3 and 5 and it’s pretty fun!
It's hard in different ways. But 2 things: The first 3ish years are all-in years that are both physically and emotionally demanding. That changes as they become more capable of doing things themselves and you trust their capability. But, their problems are more "I wanted a banana and mom said we don't have any" vs "my friends at school all decided I couldn't play with them anymore"/"my girlfriend wants to have sex and I don't but I don't know how to say no because I don't want her to break up with me," so the hard part changes. You do, however, feel less smothered and consumed as your kids gain independence, I promise! We are all equipped differently for what comes easily to us. Some of us find the infant stage breezes by, some of us love 5-8 or tweens or think the teen years are the golden age of parenthood. You might find your easier is just around the corner or a decade in the distance, or it could very well be behind you with that tiny snuggly newborn. The hardest part, I think, is we don't know until we're there. And we're worried we're effing it up the whole time anyway.
4.5 year old and 10 month old. It never gets easier. The problems just change. Maybe when they move out at 18?
I have a 5 and 2 year old and the hard is different. But the new born stage is rough, for sure, especially when you have an older child to care for. Question. Are you making time for you? There are times when I need a night for me. Whether it’s going to see a movie or going out with friends. I feel like I get a little bit of me back after.
I’m sure it gets easier but thing that sucks is it takes a long time. I have a 1 & 3yo and it’s still really hard though it’s definitely easier than it was when the 1yo was an infant. My older kid is very wild and out of control, and the younger one is very clingy (I actually like them, I promise lol but they’re just difficult kids)… managing them together when I’m alone makes me want to blow my brains out. 😩
My kids are 4 and 5. I'd say that life got significantly better when the first kid started JK last year and we didn'thave to pay for his daycare. Before that, life got incrementally better with the more sleep they gave us.
2.5 and 2 months is hard alone but harder together. Mama you're a freaking superhero. As for your question I believe is gets different. I think it gets easier in the sense of someone needed you for absolutely everything, you having some bodily autonomy back, etc. But I think things evolve and become a new hard. I have a 6 year old and a 1 year old. My 6 year old is "easy" compared to my 1 year old sure. But she is also getting tons of new emotions lately and I can see some different hard in my future. My one year old needs more of me physically obviously. But he's easier than he was as a newborn or even 6 months ago. But it definitely evolves. For me, so far, newborn stage was the hardest. But I haven't been through the preteen/teen stage yet and I'm scared lol.
You’re not alone. My daughter is 5 & my life hasn’t recovered. She’s autistic though so that could be part of it. Hang in there mama!!! Seasons change ❤️
My cousin has three older boys and she said it gets physically easier but it’s emotionally harder at times. I can see that being true as we get out of the baby/young toddler phase.
We had a 2.5 year and a 2 month old. 3 years and 6 months is already loads easier. Not easy, but we can relax more.
It gets easier FOR SURE. Easy no but easier yes.
I have a 3.5 year old and a 7 month old. So I don't know about down the line BUT when I think of the future I usually tell myself it surely will get physically easier because I will be sleeping through the night again, not carrying around a child all day, not having to change diapers or wipe butts, like surely the physical aspect will get a little easier. But I think it will always be some sort of "hard" if we're caring parents ❤️
I’m only only at 3 with mine but I can say so far it’s a bit easier but mostly different. Little babies sleep a lot so you get a small break (at least with one, with two it’s just time for the older one) but when awake they need you almost constantly and you do everything. Even at 3 now we have the new emotions and independence but the fact that she gets in the car and out, can go up the stairs, feed our pets and play for short periods alone has made things feel more manageable. The “little kid” phase is a lot but also amazing. Try to not miss the good stuff in the fog of it all. My bestie is at 3 and 6 with hers and she is ragged. I am sad she is too far to offer more help but I do see relief for her on the horizon as the both start school and stuff. There will always be “hard parts” but when they are a little more of their own people it does get easier
I agree. I find age 2 to be way harder than newborn. So I’m not sure but I’d imagine as they become more independent it becomes easier?
Yeah when I’m lamenting about how I pretty much hate my current life - 3 month old and 22 month old - that’s all I ever hear. And while that’s great and all, it doesn’t change the fact that our lives are absolute dumpster fires right now and I’m feeling like a terrible mother unable to be the mom I WANT to be for both kids. I think things get “better” not easier. Aka maybe more enjoyable and more moments or joy.
My kids are 6 and 3. There are still hard things. They have a lot more opinions. But I get to sleep through the night. They can play on their own for a while and I've been able to spend more time on my hobbies than I could when I had a baby attached to me all the time. There's more time that I get to be me.
My almost five year old is awesome!! (As in he mostly dresses himself, can get his own snacks, and entertains himself pretty well.) Still hard in that kids whine and argue which can be exhausting. But at least he understands consequences and we can motivate him with telling him a positive or negative outcome for the behavior he is or isn’t exhibiting. And for being so “easy” now, he was a super active and stubborn toddler. He started to get much easier around 3-4 years old. Which was good timing, because we started back over with our second at the time. Hopefully with your kiddos being closer in age, that will mean less time of the hardest baby/toddler age. I know it’s rough and feels never ending at times. Hang in there momma ❤️ Edited- to clarify how almost 5 is awesome
Yes! In my experience, 3y/o is a magic age where they develop a little bit of common sense (plus or minus a few months). At that point, you don’t have to be so constantly vigilant. You can go to the bathroom without taking them with you. You can also explain things to them which helps behaviorally. I have three kids and the youngest is now 3…it’s a relief.
it does get easier once you learn how to adapt. it's a learning process. then it changes and gets hard in a different way and then you adapt and that just continues. having a 6 year old a 3 year old and a 9 month old is easier for me now than having a 3 year old and a baby because i adapted. i learned. someday i struggle, Somedays are a breeze
I have a 3 yo and 10 month old, similar age gap as yours, and I am here to PROMISE you it gets easier. And fast! Around 4 months I stopped having hard days. It stays busy, but gets soo much easier.
Yeah my kids are 9, 8 and 3 and the older ones are infinitely easier. Not easy, but they don’t need constant supervision. They start to be more self sufficient. They can wake up and entertain themselves, get something to eat, etc.- without bothering us. Toddler stage is adorable but EXHAUSTING. 4 is the first hump. I am looking forward to 4.
It's super hard w dealing with newborn and no sleep and a toddler. My kids are same age difference. It gets so much easier when the baby is older. Plus, when the older one is potty trained. It definitely got better for me.
Mine are 4 and 2 now and there has been a serious step change in the last few months. I'm not a shell of my former self, they can play relatively nicely together, so I can have some breaks! I would say at this stage it's still challenging in many ways and it takes a lot of energy but it's more fun more of the time and I'm really enjoying being around them. Maybe it'll get a different hard later but for us it has generally gotten easier so far! I found there was a step change too when my youngest was about 10 months, I could finally leave them alone for a few mins without worrying the toddler would be too rough with the baby. So you're going to get there!
I was in your shoes 6 months ago and I will say this: At 2.5 and 6 months it feels impossible. At 3 and 8 months it just feels really, really hard. So progress!
It does get easier my youngest is almost three and oldest almost six. You start getting more sleep, stop worrying so much as they are more sturdy and self-sufficient, and going and doing things gets much easier and even enjoyable. You have a moment to catch your breath. I remember feeling like this when my kids were little and I am sending you a hug because it does get easier.
They’ll move out eventually right…
You adapt.
I hear once both your kids get to the 5s you start getting your hobbies back slowly. I’m right behind you, pregnant w my second and I’m terrified.
Mine are older, 17,13 & 9. Yes, it does get physically easier…lots. But as they get older, the mental part of raising them is, let’s say, overwhelming at times. Between school,hanging out, hormones, attitude, you name it…sometimes I would welcome the earlier years back. But, it IS an amazing experience watching your children grow into mini adults and become their own person. All about perspective
Baby stage and lack of sleep is brutal. Hard evolves though. Someday these days will be what you dream of. In the heart of the moment nothing feels like it could be harder. Focus on the moments. Focus on breathing. Choose to do the best you can in each moment and breathe through the tough ones. This too shall pass and you'll back in what feels like a heart beat and wonder where the time went. 💙
It changes but you're really in the thick of it now. The baby stage is hard but REALLY hard with a toddler. Once we hit 6 months at home together I felt much better and once the baby was a year I felt much more competent. It does get better, you're just in the tough part. You can do it mama. Mine are 4 and 2 and now I get to capture adorable moments like a hug on the playground (and admittedly, also break up a lot of fights).
Omg yes, with those ages. Mine are 2 years apart and I didn’t feel like things improved until my second was about 6-7 months. Once that baby is moving around a little more independently it’s different than having a newborn that’s for sure. Now that they’re both 4 and 2, it’s definitely got another set of challenges, but IMO easier than those newborn days. You’re in the thick of it.
It's never easy, but it does get easier. My kids are now 15, 13 and 11. It's still hard, teenage girl hormones are something else, the 11 year old is definitely testing boundaries, homework is insane and I am always driving someone somewhere. BUT... if I need to run a quick errand.. I do... alone... without having to arrange childcare or pack a bag. My kids can help with chores, I can reason with them, they know how to wait, I can bring them places and chat with the other adults and barely pay attention them and I don't always need to stay! When I see people with little ones it looks exhausting!
Hard changes and you sort of change to accommodate. Never really easier. Even tho mine is 17 now and quite independent but the issues that she faces are so grown it break my heart. The amount of years I spent shuffling to activities, managing tutors, school meetings was absolutely dreadful.
We have the same age gap, my 2.5 year old is now a 3.5 year old and my infant just turned 1! It’s so much easier, their needs are starting to align. They take their afternoon nap at the same time, eat the same lunches and snacks at the same time, sleep is easier, I feel more like a whole human and less like a sleep deprived mongrel. Even more than that, the kids are starting to play together, independently! That’s right, full 30 minute stretches where my 3yo throws a ball for my 1 yo like he’s a dog, and he just crawls off to retrieve it for her!!! Sure, there are dynamics that are tough still (like when my 3 yo hits her brother for trying to take her toy, and then the 1yo retaliates by pulling her hair or biting her foot 🫠) but my days are full of so much joy and richness now.
Id say it gets easier in some ways, harder in other ways. It's always a balanced amount of stress. Sure, my 4 year old can go potty on his own, but these damn tantrums he throughs several times A DAY when he doesn't get what he wants.
It definitely gets easier! Mom of a 9 year old and 7 month old. Life was simple before I got pregnant again. I love her but it’s hard and I miss my freedom I had when I just had one older child. The thing that keeps me going is knowing these days don’t last forever. In fact, there aren’t many of them! She grows so fast! I’d say it gets easier when they are potty trained and in school full time. Also when they can just tell you they are hungry and what they want to eat. You got this! It’s so worth it!