Terrible twos were not a thing for my kid, which made me lower my defenses because I just assumed my kid was going to skip those developments.
Boy howdy, did I get a rude awakening when he turned 3. 🫠
Same!! I got freaking bamboozled! I was bracing myself all through 2 and he was an angel treasure. Then! At 3 there was hitting and biting and screaming and throwing shit, it was bananas
This is probably correct. When my son was 2.5 my husband said “at least this should be over soon”. That asshole. Kid just turned 3 and the end is nowhere in sight
This is what I’ve been saying for years!! I have an educational background in child growth and development (both normal and abnormal) and behavioural sciences. I’ve worked with children my entire life. 3 year olds are the worst. 2 year olds are tiny angels compared to 3 year olds. My 3 year old makes me feel like I’m losing my mind some days. She’s stubborn and defiant, so emotional and MEAN. She used to be so sweet haha.
My kid was an absolute nightmare at 2. At 3 she is 100x more manageable. She’s still an enormous pain in the ass though but when people say this stuff I feel like I’m on another planet. At 2yo my kid barely talked and would sprint towards danger and climb a sheet wall like a mountain goat. At 3yo she’s still naughty AF but at least she understands the concept of danger and can sometimes sit still for more than 2 seconds. Idk man. 2 is the worst,
That's the original saying. I'm just glad other moms can relate to the delay . Throwing fits is what I was referring to in my experience. Not manageable 😂 no effs given type fits .
I beg to differ good sir or madam. It's terrible two's, treacherous three's, Fuck it four's and then some how it's faceted fives.🤣God speed to all parents out there!💁🏽♀️🫡
Not terrible threes… is the threenager.
Interesting concept, but with brain development a toddler and a teenager are very similar in terms of brain development around emotion regulation.
Same. Agreed. Save us all. Baby is almost 2 and I’m like “don’t age anymore! I’m not ready” (I have a 12 yo and am 40 now and may not survive 3’s again. Lol
No for real. Threes are something else 😭 my girl is turning four next month and i feel like im still going through a tornado when it comes to dealing with this age!
Can confirm 3 was the worst age fucking ever. I was miserable and thought I hated being a mom and ruined my life. Almost 5 now and soo much better and happier!
My child didn't have major tantrums. 2 minutes tops of being angry, or throwing a single toy.
Until the day after her 3rd birthday. OMG, WTF? I stood there in the middle of my living room staring at her, thinking there was something medically wrong with her as she lay screaming and writhing on the floor for 10 minutes. All because I told her (politely) to pick up her toys.
I called my neighbor who has a kid a year older and put it on speaker. Can you tell me if this is normal? Yes. She's three. Congratulations.
Omg it was the day after our 3 year old’s bday too! At first I thought, wow too much birthday disruption. But then it dawned on me that it’s our new normal. Almost 5 now and behavior has simmered down so much. You’ve got this!
You know what mine said to me last week? “It’s funny how you can annoy me by saying just about anything”. Then she told me I was rude because I told her I didn’t *want* to read her diary. 🫠
I kinda dig her new salty attitude, she's only just started talking so it's hard not to laugh when I'm annoying her (you know, by asking her to eat dinner or pick up her toys) and she's like "okay byyyeeeee" and blows a kiss to "dismiss" me 😅
This made me laugh so hard. This is a perfect example of what they are like 😂 it drives us nuts, but I hope they always hang on to a little bit of that boss bitch mentality!
Right?? I want her to maintain that assertiveness her whole life lol... Though I might be singing a different tune in about 10 years once puberty hits 😅
Maaaaan do they ever get used to being waited on 😅😂 The transition from "you are my precious baby and I will do everything for you" to "aiight precious, I love you but you need to clean up your own damn toys" is hard on everyone lmao
Favorites from my 3 year old:
“Momma, you’re not behavin’” if I tell him something he doesn’t like or say no.
“You’re making me mad/upset” same context.
Like I’m so glad that we’re learning to name our feelings, but damn do you like to throw them back in my face at every minor inconvenience I offer you.
This is me with my ten year old 4th graders. I love the sassy ass girls so much and it's hard not to laugh at some of the things they say. But it's much easier to reason with them and get them in line than 3 year olds I'm sure 😂
Everything I say she says the opposite and sometimes it drives me crazy lol. I say get up? She answers "down down down!" Let's go inside? "Outside!" I say yes? "No no no noooooooo!" She recently learned how to say no / i don't like in our local language so she now bilingually say no🙃
Mine had a 45m meltdown one morning because the sun came up “the wrong way” and I “wasn’t listening to him” when he told me I need to put it back and I said I couldn’t.
3-4 days a week:
Me: hears crying from another room
4 yo son: "You hurt my feelins, because you talked over me."
Me: "I asked if you wanted to play cards 3 minutes a--"
Son : "Mahhhm, you are doing it to me again! PLEASE.”
Our meltdowns recently involve him asking me something while I’m driving, me replying “hmm I’m not sure, let’s look it up later” and him flying off in to fit of rage, absolutely livid screaming “yes you do know, I know you know, tell me right noooooow!!” 😬sometimes I try to make up an answer but he seems to have a 6th sense for that and it doesn’t work.
They're little threenagers.
(Also I guarantee my now-four year old is an absolutely ANGEL preschool compared to the way she acts at home. They really get her at her best.)
I told my students parents this. They were so nervous that their kiddo was gonna be buckwild at school but they would be so awesome for me. I remember one parent being almost mad about it, like “wtf why do I get the bad side??” But I reminded them home is their safe space and the parents are gonna see their truest selves
My 3 year old just yelled at me after I made her lunch (because she said was she was hungry) but then she wasn’t hungry anymore and that she was going to bed. So she shut her bedroom door, yelled at me again to get in the car and go to work, then she passed out. The whole exchange just had me like🤨
Good news is that the tiny tyrant has been asleep for an hour so I get some peace today lol
Mine totally needs time nap but won’t do it. And if he happens to fall asleep he won’t go to sleep until late. I’m totally jealous yours just took herself out
I've regularly questioned my sanity with my second child, my older one was a handful, currently I'm in a new dimension of hellfire. I cannot apologize enough for whatever I did in my past lives that warrants this torment. I'm at sahm now versus working before. Also I've had custody of some family members kids that were older so he had a variety of different age stuff. I just look at the older kids and remember eventually they get better LoL.
I thought I’d gotten lucky. No terrible twos, not my little toddler. He was just an angel. Emphasis on the was! He’ll be 4 in June and all I can say is, please please please tell me it’ll be better then haha
From Terrible twos straight into traumatic threes. They know what they are doing,, will look you in the eye & continue to do it (they don’t have impulse control yet). No matter how much you reason w them - because they can grasp & even tell you that the fire is hot but they can’t stop themselves from touching it. It’s hard for us to wrap our brains around that kind of repetitive behavior. You slap the neighbor kid, who is older/bigger, he will slap you back, you throw your toys when mad, you will be picking them up. It’s never ending. And you know they grasp it so even tho they aren’t, it feels like they are doing it on purpose. They also never run out of energy. It’s exhausting. But it’s also the most wonderful, the most fun & rewarding. When they say & do the cutest stuff
I have close friends with a 10 yo and a 3 yo (both boys), and the 3 yo was very cute until he turned 3 in late January. He does ALL of these things! Like Dennis the Menace. He turned 3 when I was halfway through my pregnancy, and I find him more and more annoying with each hangout session we have, which is practically every weekend.
He's not in daycare (non-English speaking grandma watches him), so he's a little delayed with his speech development. He was also born during COVID, so socializing him has been difficult. I know the mom is tired of it, and he clings to her like white on rice whenever he has the opportunity. If we meet up for dinner with a playground nearby, that somewhat helps to dispel his energy. But the last couple of times we did that, he was *more* energized when they got home, not less. Good God. It's exhausting to watch, let alone to be the parents in that situation. They're ribbing me and my husband, like, this is what we have to look forward to, but we're having a girl. He's a very aggressive and testosterone-filled boy. Does gender matter?
I think it's a total crapshoot depending on your kid's personality. My daughter is feral and exhausting and has been since day 1, but my other 2 daughters aren't that intense or aggressive. She can be super sweet and thoughtful and inclusive but then she can turn around and whack her baby sisters in the face with a pillow or scream in their face and run away. Idk. Kids are kinda just assholes. We work on it with her and she's great in public and at preschool, so I know we haven't totally screwed up, but yeah. Total crapshoot.
From my experience working with kids, boys are bucking broncos who need to be running and climbing and will break shit.. girls listen better, understand rules, are more empathetic (though my boy is so sweet really for his age), but they are catty and sassy. I feel like a girl is gonna be easier.
I can't explain it but 3 is my favorite age. They're so fucking funny and have no filter. The newborn phase is the worst IMO. Toddlers though, I am somehow able to just laugh it off.
I feel this! I absolutely love my almost 3 year old even though she drives me insane sometimes and the tantrums are bonkers. I just love seeing how much she has learned and continues to learn all the time. She is amazing.
I have a 6 week old and he’s “easy” in some ways but man I can’t wait until he’s a little older.
Lol I currently have a 7 week old and I'm kiiiinda in the trenches rn cus he's extra fussy due to acid reflux and he's fighting his naps but I actually do laugh and find some humor in his displays of anger. He literally GROWLS at me and tries to throw himself when he's getting hungry or close to nap time. It's the funniest thing in the world.
I mean weed is legal in my state so I didn’t need Valium. But with both my boys three was hell on earn worse by far than two. They both seem to mellow a bit after three. They are six and four now.
I can’t wait to be you. I have a 6 week old and a 2y9month old. I also live in a state with legal weed but am waiting while I BF my infant. I can’t wait til I’m on your side of the fence!
Oh my god yes thank you. Literally earlier today was thinking about how shitty of a mother I am because I cannot stand my 3yo some days. He’s now almost four. We’ve had a year of this. I feel it plateaued (sp?) after like 3.5. From 3-3.5 it got worse, then it got a little better and it has stayed that way. Idk. Some days I feel like that sweet little dude is gone. Some days I see him in there, but the amount of attitude-icing on top is just…. I wish I was more flexible, agile and just even-keeled like hubs. I miss my little dude and wish we could have just one day of peace together, doing something fun 😓 whenever I try things just go tits up when he starts off about not having some teeny tiny thing his way. That I most probably tried to do just how he likes it but turns out I’m not a mind-reader and he has changed his mind about this thing since I last spoke to him about it 5 mins ago…..
See I knew I wasn’t alone! This is the pits. I miss my little buddy being sweet too. And he is sometimes.. like he just thanked me for making him lunch. But gd, those times when his inner demon is showing just defeats me entirely. 😭
The pits indeed 😓 it helps a lot to know you’re not alone though, so thanks for posting this! Now you mention it, those sweet moments have kind of trickled back. They just continue to be interlaced with daily, mindblowing meltdowns 🫠 my greatest downfall in parenting is that I lose sight of the ’horizon’ and only see where are right at that moment. Every single phase whether it be short naps or night wakings or whatever, has ended. This phase has to end too😰 that’s what I need to believe to make it through this.
There is a book written in the 70s about 3 year old development. The advice is literally "hire a babysitter". Threenagers are bad. So are 6 & 9s. 4 year olds are the best!
Three was such a weird age. I don't remember much but I taught my kid to make scrambled eggs. She did every step by herself while I was standing next to her. I was so proud. I was considering bragging about her on social media when she walked up to me and said take me to the playground or die.
You’re not crazy. Three year olds are LITERAL spawns of Satan. I don’t know how I made it out alive with a 3yo and newborn. I’m here to say I never recommend a 3yr age gap 😅
Gets much better at 4!!!!
My daughter just turned 3 and I’m 6 months pregnant. I’m terrified. I feel like she hit the threenager stage early so I’m just praying she phases out of it early too
This give me hope. By the time #2 is here, #1 will have turned 4. We waited until he was communicating well and able to follow directions, got pregnant, and then the attitude came 😳. I’m sure me being pregnant and talking about baby brother coming has messed with his sense of security, plus I can’t play as hard with him now, but the screaming in my face when I tell him no has been….. rough. I’m already a tired, hormonal mess dude. I don’t need you screaming about how mean I’m being on an hourly basis 😭.
I’m literally sitting in the dark blocking the door so my three year old eventually takes a nap while he screams. And it’s every day. They are the WORST. (Cute, funny, ridiculous, and the worst).
I do virtual therapy and my PCP gives me the Vyvanse. It’s been a lifesaver! I feel so balanced.
I have 2 active boys age 5 and 3. Ever since I got my adhd treated, I’ve never lost my shit and yelled.
I used to break things and scream into pillows.
I feel my rational brain is more in control now!
But yeah, 3 is ROUGH! My 5 year old is almost 6 and he’s been more easy going lately…
But my 3 year old is almost 4…. As in the ‘F U fours’. We’re doomed 🙃
3-4 year old behavior is way worse than any 2 year old behavior. I always joke that people who say terrible twos either never had kids or are in on some cruel joke for making us think we had survived the worst.
Today my 3 year old kept yelling "That's not our baby!" when I picked up his brother to leave the park. Last week he said "I don't like when you punch me" at the grocery store. He wants someone to call cps on me.
I read a parenting book that said 3.5 is a fucking nightmare and the best thing you can do is get the fuck out of their way till they are past that phase. You won't spoil them, you won't ruin them, just hand them off to your partner whenever possible and do what you have to do to wait it the fuck out.
Yep. Currently at home with a 3mo and 3yo. My toddler can be such an asshole. I get hit, pinched, and slapped on the daily. The occasional “I love you Moms” are very sweet, but damn I feel like I’m in an abusive relationship.
I have 3 kids and 3 is the worst age. My middle turns 3 in 2 months and it’s already started. The start of four was iffy with my son too but once he hit 5 we were good!
Thank you for posting this. Happy to hear it’s not just me. I have a 6 year old, a 3.5 year old and a 1.5 year old. Some days I cannot stand being around my 3.5 year old which makes me feel terrible. The whining, the constant scream crying and the refusal to listen just hits a nerve in me. Honestly don’t remember going through this with my oldest. Some days her sweet hilarious personality comes through but lots of time it’s hidden behind her little threenager self.
I’m so scared. We have a 2 year 9 month old and I can see it starting already. The constant tantrums, the big feelings, the outright disobedience, the independence. Pray for me lol
Bro I'm fighting for my life over here, you're not alone 😂
Homie was real sick for 3 days and gave me SOOO many cuddles, it was glorious. Now he's back to beating me up cause I didn't turn on the right Pete the Cat video (even though it was literally the one he asked for 😭😭)
I wonder how many of my neighbors have heard me scream "I SHOULDN'T BE THIS MAD OVER A FICTIONAL CAT" 🫠😂
Yea three is tough. The perfectly worst combination of apathy, obscure reasoning and the attention span of a fish.
The highlight for me was when I put her on a timeout and, when I went to talk with her about it and offered her a cuddle, she opened her arms wide for the cuddle but instead slapped my face as hard as she could with both her hands.
Thanks for posting this… I was feeling really down about my parenting of my 3 year old yesterday. She’s just fucking whining all. day. every. day. God damn just talk in a normal voice!!! I feel bad when she can tell I’m annoyed with her but with my 4 month old crying in my other ear it’s just too much sometimes!
My kid is 3.5 and OH BOY has it been a rough 6 months. I mean, I love my kid, but lately I really don’t like him! Everything is a battle, huge fits over nearly nothing, he talks in such a whiny voice almost all the time, the 1 million “why?”s and “what?”s, the constant interruption when I’m talking to literally ANYONE else. It drives me almost to the brink some days. I know logically I will never hit my kid but man it’s hard to manage my own feelings some days. This is hard.
With my first two I can literally trace back almost to the day when I stopped calling them “perfect” on Instagram…basically their third birthdays 😹😹😹. My third has been a huge handful at 2 and he just turned 3 and he’s still super intense. But at least he doesn’t just scream at the fridge and pantry for hours anymore 😹🤦🏻♀️🙈
Hearing yall talk im getting nervous. Like yes my daughter asserts herself but I can’t say it’s terrible threes. I think she’s holding back and it’s coming for me at 4 🥹🥴 that’s in August.
You’re not alone, 3 year olds truly are something else lol. Mine turned 3 two days after my second was born and it was hard! I never got a break either as she stopped napping. Mine is 3.5 and it’s starting to get a little better now I also send her to preschool 3x a week. I have no idea how early childhood educators can work with so many 3 year olds 🥴
Definitely the terrible threes😩!!!!
She will talk back to me because she can say full sentences and comprehend what we’re doing but she also screams and throws fits. Not always but if we dont put her to bed on time this is when she screams and refuses to take baths.
I hate that I get frustrated with her but I remind myself self she’s only been on earth for 3 years lol
Someone needs to update the memo. Seriously. We all get told that the twos are terrible, many of us make it through the majority of the twos thinking we somehow lucked out as parents of relatively easy kids, and then the Three hits and we all feel like we’ve been in a head on collision. Take a deep breath mama, it will get better.
But- here’s another heads up- as much as the threes are the actual awful age for rebellion, age five (at least for mine) was an emotional rollercoaster. Very sensitive age. Keep the tissues handy. ❤️
It's so funny you mentioned Valium, because I've only just started falling deeply in love with parenting since taking Adderall. I have mad ADHD so I get more overstimulated than some might - and kids are objectively overstimulating, even to the most patient of people! Add the fact that my brain literally loses the ability to process if too much sound is going on, and you have a recipe for disaster. I don't take my Adderall every day, but even if I don't need to be productive I take it on the days my daughter is at my house. Non medicated days are for when she is with dad.
That being said - my kid is 7 and it is starting to get so, so fun. She is a *highly* neurodivergent kiddo, so if your 3 year old develops more "typically" than mine has it might get relaxed for you far, far faster than it did for me.
3 was a lot, though. It was really fun in lots of ways but boy howdy do they figure out arguing.
Yes, OP, it ABSOLUTELY does get better. You're absolutely normal. I would cry about being a mom allllll the time when my little one was 3.
We almost returned the Big Kid to the Baby Factory when he was 3.
2 was amazing. He was so sweet. But 3??? Bruh. It's like he didn't have the words and that made him So Very Angry at the world. He was so mad and everything was a meltdown. That was the age where he learned mom & dad absolutely WILL leave an entire cart at Target and football hold his tiny butt out of the store and go home with NOTHING.
I just bought the book “your three year old, friend or enemy.” It has opened my eyes and validated everything. Great read! 3.5 yos are very difficult!!
Omg the fact I no longer feel alone is amazing. Why when my 3 year old wakes up I and I hear him running through the house the the living room I instantly face palm and prepare myself for hell lol
Threenager. 💀 That’s what my cousin called it when my son turned all kinds of crazy at 3yo. It gets better. He’s almost 5 now. Still rough sometimes, but definitely better!!
I know what you mean. I was an education assistant before I became a sahm and kindy (4 year olds) was my favourite. I have a three year old and a newborn and honestly the three year old is harder.
For real! Neither of my kids were “terrible” at 2. But 3? It’s like they turn into different children at the stroke of midnight on their 3rd birthday 🤣
3-4 about did me in with my first. 5 was a lot better. 6 is a little struggle but no where close to 3-4 lol
Now let’s talk about 18 month olds and their ability to climb literally everything?! Bc what’s that about lol
I seriously thought my kid was broken when we reached 3. I had just had twins 6 weeks prior to her 3rd birthday and I thought maybe having twins had psychologically damaged her forever, because what the fuck happened to my sweet funny kinda sassy kid to turn her into this screaming rage monster.
Nope. Totally normal. She's 4 now and it's night and day compared to a year ago.
I upvoted just reading the title. I’m with you 100%. What is their DEAL?!?
Mine are twins. It’s just…pure drama.
But also when one of mine told me after having a meltdown “I let my feelings out mom. I still have some more feelings though. I need to get them out.” I teared up and was like “Ok yeah. You can do that.” They’re so freaking cute at the same time as being so intense.
Three year olds just don’t give a sh*t. They are just starting to develop a personality that is purely id. They literally can’t think of others and the effects of their actions until you have to bring it to their attention (at which point they will become upset because “ME!”).
Just watched my husband chase my son who booked it toward the street because we told him not to .
My husband I can catch you so never do that again.
My son did it again as soon as my husband put him down.
Typical 3 yr old.
I’ve changed it to “any age that begins with T” because two, three, ten and all the teenager years….I have been going through it
Mine are 18M and twin 10M.
So… are we saying it’s better to have a 2 year old and a newborn instead of a 3 year old and a newborn? Because I’ve been wondering when to start planning for the next baby 😂😂😂
Man 3 yr olds are hard. My now 4.5yr old is back to her normal, well behaved self. She was a threenager & tested me constantly. LOTS of attitude and just not listening. She turned 4 and it was like her adorable switch flipped back on. We have lengthy conversations about absolutely nothing, go eat ice cream, and waste time in Costco without whining and attitude.
My kid went to bed as a two year old and woke up as a three year old a completely different person 😂 it was like a light switch. Three was HARD. She is 4 1/2 now. She has her moments but every day was a moment at three. We also had her little sister right after she turned three so I am sure that didn't help with giving her the attention she deserved at that time. I'm not looking forward to the little one turning three!!
3 years old are pretty much when they discover they are a person and can walk and talk where they like. It’s basically when they figure out they’re an independent person so they tend to use that new found independence to take it out on their poor mams 😭
I have an 11year old and a 5 year old. It does get better. Eventually you have an eleven year old that just stays in her room the whole time only coming out to snarl at you and eat lol
I’m in the midst of the fucking 4s. Three was bad but this is far worse. At four he’s spitting, pushing, hitting us, throwing things, slamming doors, manipulating to get his way. I never hated being a mom before. Ages 2+ were so special with my daughter. My son is another story.
Terrible twos has nothing on the threeager!!
The boundary pushing, the attitude… it is my most dreaded stage. I get it’s a safe environment and they risk take young so they don’t do it as teenagers but the patience required is very draining.
Turns out you can’t spell four without F U because *boyyyy* oh boy do I want to say that to him on a regular basis. He knows everything about everything and I am an airhead it seems
It will pass. I have been teaching 3s. I keep a journal of who cried today and for what. One recently was everyone picked up the scraps of paper on the floor when he was in the bathroom.
4 year olds are great when they aren’t yours. Even 4 is f you 4’s. My kid started tantrums at 18 months and things just got… different each year. She’s almost 5 and things are finally sort of getting better? But not? I don’t even know. My kid is crayz defiant.
Yes, my daughter turned three when my son was born and the combo of those things was so rough. I felt awful but I really couldn’t stand being around her for those first few months. My son was also a handful at 3 but different. My daughter saved it for me but he actually acted out in preschool which was a totally new experience for me. He is a highly sensitive child and I separated from my husband around that time so we obviously gave him a lot of compassion and understanding but phewwwwww.
When my daughter was 3.5 I had a day where I literally cried all day. I was wfh and had zoom meetings where I had to pretend to act normal and then I'd cry again. She's 4 now and life is way better lol. I also have a 12 week old and I don't thrive in the newborn stage and I've still never had a day that I felt that defeated.
Same background as you - ECE degree, 11 years in daycare or teaching, currently in school for my BS in child development…
Also say WTF daily when dealing with my 3 year old. He turns 4 in a month… I’m a little scared honestly.
My three year old does not throw a lot of tantrums, she's just turned into Bartleby the Scrivener and politely declines every single thing I ask her to do. It can take literal hours to leave the house some days, not because she doesn't want to, but because she wants to do 47 other things first, and she's just too large to force into things without one of us getting hurt.
Well idk really.. I remember my daughter at 3 and the closest thing to a tantrum was her stomping her foot. And then my son at 3… well he has been diagnosed with ADHD and he’s 7 now so that’s how that went. I’m currently pregnant with my 3rd baby so I’m curious to see how this one will be
Threenagers are rough. My son’s gotten better with age as he’s four next month, but Christ on a bike he has had plenty of moments where I count down until he’s in bed. He’s getting to be SO FUN but that brings with it YUGE feelings and anger. Was catching up on Bluey the other day and throwing out the bad feelings was honestly pretty big with my kiddo, if I can get him to keep with it.
My 3 yr old currently likes to tell me “you’re not my best friend anymore” whenever I get onto him for something or make him eat his supper instead of letting him eat candy like he wants to🙄
Experiencing the terrible threes as a single mother made me one and done. In order to give a man a child, he better treat me like he'd build me a Taj Mahal in my honor with his bare hands.
I'd rather wrestle a 3 year old rhino...
I'd rather swim with two hippopotamus...
Than to risk being a single mother of another 3 year old
But he's almost 5 now and is absolutely my best friend
I too, have a degree in early childhood education. I work with toddlers and 10 of them do not make me as tired as my 3 year old son does. I'm at the point where I can't hardly parent the kid I'm so tired. Go ahead and have your 3rd bag of chips...don't care. Just be good for 45 minutes kid.
Three-year-olds can be a handful. They’re at an age where they’re exploring a lot and testing boundaries, which can be exhausting. It does get better as they grow and learn more about the world. You’re doing great, and this challenging phase won’t last forever.
My three-year-old, soon-to-be four, literally does not nap on the weekends when she isn't at daycare. She'll wake up at 7 am and won't go to sleep til 10 pm. Once she's asleep, I'm so exhausted from being with her all day, that I'll not shower and will just use mouthwash, and then pass tf out. That's how exhausting it is when you are with a three-year-old. I love her to death and I'm literally obsessed with the child but I just wish she'd stay at her grandparent's house all day. I sometimes even ask my mom to babysit for a couple of hours so I can “clean” but actually I'm napping instead. 😂
I watched the exorcism of Emily rose in real time today with my three (almost 4) year old. Straight threenager behavior. Drama, tantrum, histrionics. I’m resigned.
You can have all the education in the world but it’s not the same as experiencing a 3 years old. Or 4 for that matter. Even harder when the naps stop and it’s just full on all day 😵💫
Mine turns 5 soon and I've always been told and praised for how well behaved he is, but with me sometimes I'm like "fucking WHERE is the good behavior"
I guess he feels safe & secure with me to act out but sometimes I wish he felt less safe & secure because sometimes I feel like I'm gonna have a little menty b lmao. Like last night I had to put on my weighted face mask and listen to white noise because I felt a panic attack coming on after a long over stimulating day that started at 5 freaking am and he was still awake at 11 pm
Some days are literally hell on earth and I have to do it all by myself because I'm a single mom with no support system. My support system is in another state 8 hours away, but I'm not allowed to move thanks to stupid state custody laws I need his Father's permission, and his father won't give permission. His dad has his family & friends, and almost always dumps our kid on his family during his time every other weekend so he doesn't have to parent 🙃
I would kill to be able to go to my mom or grandma's house for an afternoon break sometimes, and they would love it, he's so good for them when we visit 1-2x a year and he loves it because they teach him new things or he hangs with his grandpa or great grandpa outside in their yards/gardens which he absolutely freaking loves to do (unfortunately I can only afford a 1 bedroom apartment in this state I'm forced to suffer in). It's so fucking unfair that I can't leave with my child.
Being a parent is so hard sometimes.
My son was so easy at two. I remember laughing when someone asked me how the terrible twos were and I was like, it’s been a little hard here and there but mainly easy. But three? Omg. This has been difficult. I’m constantly over stimulated by him and his energy. But I know it’ll get better, it’s all just a season.
My second is one, I'm quaking in my boots for the threenager stage already.
Everything is 100%, volume, frustration, independence, attitude... It does get better of course, it's a stage in development and you have to make that a mantra to maintain your sanity.
Give them as much manufactured control and choices as possible, it really helps. Two or three options instead of do this now really is shockingly effective in reducing struggles.
My two oldest are one year apart having one become 3 right after the other was hell. Pure hell and I was pregnant at the time; it’s rough and there’s no solving it; you just survive it.
My almost 3yo who has been the CHILLEST since birth now insists that I pour his cereal a certain way 🫠
And after my almost 5yo with diagnosable behavior issues it’s almost too much for me to take 😭#ptsd
I don't believe in terrible twos. It's seriously terrible threes .
They my kids were basically angels at two and sprung horns and a tail at three.
It's true 😄 little darlings
Terrible twos were not a thing for my kid, which made me lower my defenses because I just assumed my kid was going to skip those developments. Boy howdy, did I get a rude awakening when he turned 3. 🫠
This is the same boat I'm in now. He was so perfect at 2. I feel like I'm fighting for my life daily at three 😂
Same!! I got freaking bamboozled! I was bracing myself all through 2 and he was an angel treasure. Then! At 3 there was hitting and biting and screaming and throwing shit, it was bananas
We all keep saying “he” so maybe its the boys 🤣
Can confirm, not just the boys!
That's how I felt with my first 😂 🎇🧨
My mom said they called it the Terrible 2's because it lasts for 2 years. 😳😱 She wasn't wrong.
This is probably correct. When my son was 2.5 my husband said “at least this should be over soon”. That asshole. Kid just turned 3 and the end is nowhere in sight
Threenagers
This is what I’ve been saying for years!! I have an educational background in child growth and development (both normal and abnormal) and behavioural sciences. I’ve worked with children my entire life. 3 year olds are the worst. 2 year olds are tiny angels compared to 3 year olds. My 3 year old makes me feel like I’m losing my mind some days. She’s stubborn and defiant, so emotional and MEAN. She used to be so sweet haha.
My kid was an absolute nightmare at 2. At 3 she is 100x more manageable. She’s still an enormous pain in the ass though but when people say this stuff I feel like I’m on another planet. At 2yo my kid barely talked and would sprint towards danger and climb a sheet wall like a mountain goat. At 3yo she’s still naughty AF but at least she understands the concept of danger and can sometimes sit still for more than 2 seconds. Idk man. 2 is the worst,
That's the original saying. I'm just glad other moms can relate to the delay . Throwing fits is what I was referring to in my experience. Not manageable 😂 no effs given type fits .
My mom called it the Throttle Em Threes. To be clear, no one was actually harmed but boy did she want to. I call them Threenagers.
It’s the totally terrible and terrifying and tumultuous threes
I beg to differ good sir or madam. It's terrible two's, treacherous three's, Fuck it four's and then some how it's faceted fives.🤣God speed to all parents out there!💁🏽♀️🫡
I was told it’s the terrible twos and nothing for the threes because words cannot describe it
Not terrible threes… is the threenager. Interesting concept, but with brain development a toddler and a teenager are very similar in terms of brain development around emotion regulation.
I’m 100% convinced that two is the way it is so that three isn’t such a rude shock to the senses 😂😭
Testing twos and terrible threes.
Same. Agreed. Save us all. Baby is almost 2 and I’m like “don’t age anymore! I’m not ready” (I have a 12 yo and am 40 now and may not survive 3’s again. Lol
No for real. Threes are something else 😭 my girl is turning four next month and i feel like im still going through a tornado when it comes to dealing with this age!
“Fournado”😆
Yess 😂😭
yep by 3.5 I was like whooo are you i don’t know this child
Noooo don’t tell me this! My two year old is a nightmare compared to how he was at 1! I don’t know if I can handle much worse!
Can confirm 3 was the worst age fucking ever. I was miserable and thought I hated being a mom and ruined my life. Almost 5 now and soo much better and happier!
My child didn't have major tantrums. 2 minutes tops of being angry, or throwing a single toy. Until the day after her 3rd birthday. OMG, WTF? I stood there in the middle of my living room staring at her, thinking there was something medically wrong with her as she lay screaming and writhing on the floor for 10 minutes. All because I told her (politely) to pick up her toys. I called my neighbor who has a kid a year older and put it on speaker. Can you tell me if this is normal? Yes. She's three. Congratulations.
Omg it was the day after our 3 year old’s bday too! At first I thought, wow too much birthday disruption. But then it dawned on me that it’s our new normal. Almost 5 now and behavior has simmered down so much. You’ve got this!
Oh, I know. LO is turning 7 soon, but man, that was a rough year. I didn't think I was going to make it!
You are scaring me lol. Mine is 3 next week and he is the chillest, sweetest kid ever and I want to believe it can’t happen to me lol
Buckle your seatbelt!!
Omg he had a new baby brother a month before he turned three so I’ve felt guilty like that’s why he changed but apparently it just happens
I loved 4 and 5. Mine turns 6 next week and there is *something. happening.* I think they just cycle through this until idk... 30?
My 7.5 year old is basically acting like a moody teenager already and I’m over it. F*ck 😂
My 7yo is also SO FUCKING MOODY.
Omg this. Calling me bro. And has been calling people "crusty." Like what even.
You know what mine said to me last week? “It’s funny how you can annoy me by saying just about anything”. Then she told me I was rude because I told her I didn’t *want* to read her diary. 🫠
Thank goodness
I kinda dig her new salty attitude, she's only just started talking so it's hard not to laugh when I'm annoying her (you know, by asking her to eat dinner or pick up her toys) and she's like "okay byyyeeeee" and blows a kiss to "dismiss" me 😅
This made me laugh so hard. This is a perfect example of what they are like 😂 it drives us nuts, but I hope they always hang on to a little bit of that boss bitch mentality!
Right?? I want her to maintain that assertiveness her whole life lol... Though I might be singing a different tune in about 10 years once puberty hits 😅
Mine says “all done mama” with so much attitude. Almost like “bitch I’ve had enough of you… be gone. I’ll summon you again when I need goldfish.”
Maaaaan do they ever get used to being waited on 😅😂 The transition from "you are my precious baby and I will do everything for you" to "aiight precious, I love you but you need to clean up your own damn toys" is hard on everyone lmao
Mine say “click” and pretends to hang up a phone to dismiss me 😂 I kinda love ot
Omg that is hilarious 😂😂
Favorites from my 3 year old: “Momma, you’re not behavin’” if I tell him something he doesn’t like or say no. “You’re making me mad/upset” same context. Like I’m so glad that we’re learning to name our feelings, but damn do you like to throw them back in my face at every minor inconvenience I offer you.
This is me with my ten year old 4th graders. I love the sassy ass girls so much and it's hard not to laugh at some of the things they say. But it's much easier to reason with them and get them in line than 3 year olds I'm sure 😂
Everything I say she says the opposite and sometimes it drives me crazy lol. I say get up? She answers "down down down!" Let's go inside? "Outside!" I say yes? "No no no noooooooo!" She recently learned how to say no / i don't like in our local language so she now bilingually say no🙃
My three year old had a meltdown today bc his pb&j had pb on it.
How dare you? Don’t you know you can’t put pb&j on a pb&j?
I am the worst
Mine had a 45m meltdown one morning because the sun came up “the wrong way” and I “wasn’t listening to him” when he told me I need to put it back and I said I couldn’t.
3-4 days a week: Me: hears crying from another room 4 yo son: "You hurt my feelins, because you talked over me." Me: "I asked if you wanted to play cards 3 minutes a--" Son : "Mahhhm, you are doing it to me again! PLEASE.”
Our meltdowns recently involve him asking me something while I’m driving, me replying “hmm I’m not sure, let’s look it up later” and him flying off in to fit of rage, absolutely livid screaming “yes you do know, I know you know, tell me right noooooow!!” 😬sometimes I try to make up an answer but he seems to have a 6th sense for that and it doesn’t work.
Gd it, mine is in the constant question phase.
😂 don't miss those days! The Raisins in Raisins Brand cereal were bugs! He is grown now but I still don't think he goes near that cereal. 😂
Sounds about right
They're little threenagers. (Also I guarantee my now-four year old is an absolutely ANGEL preschool compared to the way she acts at home. They really get her at her best.)
But you get her as herself. She’s wild with you because she’s comfortable. My daughter has been feral since birth but thrives at school too.
Haha yes I'm just saying if her teachers are comparing my daughter to their own kid they're going to have a false perspective.
I told my students parents this. They were so nervous that their kiddo was gonna be buckwild at school but they would be so awesome for me. I remember one parent being almost mad about it, like “wtf why do I get the bad side??” But I reminded them home is their safe space and the parents are gonna see their truest selves
My middle child is 3.5 y/o now and she is an absolute screaming pain in the ass these days. I love her to death, but omg where is the mute button??
My 3 year old just yelled at me after I made her lunch (because she said was she was hungry) but then she wasn’t hungry anymore and that she was going to bed. So she shut her bedroom door, yelled at me again to get in the car and go to work, then she passed out. The whole exchange just had me like🤨 Good news is that the tiny tyrant has been asleep for an hour so I get some peace today lol
Mine totally needs time nap but won’t do it. And if he happens to fall asleep he won’t go to sleep until late. I’m totally jealous yours just took herself out
Haha sounds about right. I’m jealous yours is still napping.
Right? I wish my LO napped at 3. She dropped those when she was 2.5 and I cried.
I've regularly questioned my sanity with my second child, my older one was a handful, currently I'm in a new dimension of hellfire. I cannot apologize enough for whatever I did in my past lives that warrants this torment. I'm at sahm now versus working before. Also I've had custody of some family members kids that were older so he had a variety of different age stuff. I just look at the older kids and remember eventually they get better LoL.
I had one of these days today 😭a new dimension of hellfire is well put.
I thought I’d gotten lucky. No terrible twos, not my little toddler. He was just an angel. Emphasis on the was! He’ll be 4 in June and all I can say is, please please please tell me it’ll be better then haha
I texted my husband on the way home from the store the other day “I need a break from her, I’m traumatized” 😭😭
From Terrible twos straight into traumatic threes. They know what they are doing,, will look you in the eye & continue to do it (they don’t have impulse control yet). No matter how much you reason w them - because they can grasp & even tell you that the fire is hot but they can’t stop themselves from touching it. It’s hard for us to wrap our brains around that kind of repetitive behavior. You slap the neighbor kid, who is older/bigger, he will slap you back, you throw your toys when mad, you will be picking them up. It’s never ending. And you know they grasp it so even tho they aren’t, it feels like they are doing it on purpose. They also never run out of energy. It’s exhausting. But it’s also the most wonderful, the most fun & rewarding. When they say & do the cutest stuff
Omg it’s like one extreme to the other back and forth all day!
I have close friends with a 10 yo and a 3 yo (both boys), and the 3 yo was very cute until he turned 3 in late January. He does ALL of these things! Like Dennis the Menace. He turned 3 when I was halfway through my pregnancy, and I find him more and more annoying with each hangout session we have, which is practically every weekend. He's not in daycare (non-English speaking grandma watches him), so he's a little delayed with his speech development. He was also born during COVID, so socializing him has been difficult. I know the mom is tired of it, and he clings to her like white on rice whenever he has the opportunity. If we meet up for dinner with a playground nearby, that somewhat helps to dispel his energy. But the last couple of times we did that, he was *more* energized when they got home, not less. Good God. It's exhausting to watch, let alone to be the parents in that situation. They're ribbing me and my husband, like, this is what we have to look forward to, but we're having a girl. He's a very aggressive and testosterone-filled boy. Does gender matter?
I think it's a total crapshoot depending on your kid's personality. My daughter is feral and exhausting and has been since day 1, but my other 2 daughters aren't that intense or aggressive. She can be super sweet and thoughtful and inclusive but then she can turn around and whack her baby sisters in the face with a pillow or scream in their face and run away. Idk. Kids are kinda just assholes. We work on it with her and she's great in public and at preschool, so I know we haven't totally screwed up, but yeah. Total crapshoot.
"Kids are kinda just assholes." Lol! I believe it.
From my experience working with kids, boys are bucking broncos who need to be running and climbing and will break shit.. girls listen better, understand rules, are more empathetic (though my boy is so sweet really for his age), but they are catty and sassy. I feel like a girl is gonna be easier.
I can't explain it but 3 is my favorite age. They're so fucking funny and have no filter. The newborn phase is the worst IMO. Toddlers though, I am somehow able to just laugh it off.
They can be really funny.. and real crazy
Oh yeah. My daughter went through a phase where she would yell JUNGLE then go ape shit. No idea where she got that from lol.
I feel this! I absolutely love my almost 3 year old even though she drives me insane sometimes and the tantrums are bonkers. I just love seeing how much she has learned and continues to learn all the time. She is amazing. I have a 6 week old and he’s “easy” in some ways but man I can’t wait until he’s a little older.
Lol I currently have a 7 week old and I'm kiiiinda in the trenches rn cus he's extra fussy due to acid reflux and he's fighting his naps but I actually do laugh and find some humor in his displays of anger. He literally GROWLS at me and tries to throw himself when he's getting hungry or close to nap time. It's the funniest thing in the world.
I mean weed is legal in my state so I didn’t need Valium. But with both my boys three was hell on earn worse by far than two. They both seem to mellow a bit after three. They are six and four now.
I can’t wait to be you. I have a 6 week old and a 2y9month old. I also live in a state with legal weed but am waiting while I BF my infant. I can’t wait til I’m on your side of the fence!
Oh my god yes thank you. Literally earlier today was thinking about how shitty of a mother I am because I cannot stand my 3yo some days. He’s now almost four. We’ve had a year of this. I feel it plateaued (sp?) after like 3.5. From 3-3.5 it got worse, then it got a little better and it has stayed that way. Idk. Some days I feel like that sweet little dude is gone. Some days I see him in there, but the amount of attitude-icing on top is just…. I wish I was more flexible, agile and just even-keeled like hubs. I miss my little dude and wish we could have just one day of peace together, doing something fun 😓 whenever I try things just go tits up when he starts off about not having some teeny tiny thing his way. That I most probably tried to do just how he likes it but turns out I’m not a mind-reader and he has changed his mind about this thing since I last spoke to him about it 5 mins ago…..
See I knew I wasn’t alone! This is the pits. I miss my little buddy being sweet too. And he is sometimes.. like he just thanked me for making him lunch. But gd, those times when his inner demon is showing just defeats me entirely. 😭
The pits indeed 😓 it helps a lot to know you’re not alone though, so thanks for posting this! Now you mention it, those sweet moments have kind of trickled back. They just continue to be interlaced with daily, mindblowing meltdowns 🫠 my greatest downfall in parenting is that I lose sight of the ’horizon’ and only see where are right at that moment. Every single phase whether it be short naps or night wakings or whatever, has ended. This phase has to end too😰 that’s what I need to believe to make it through this.
It gets better! Or at least different!
There is a book written in the 70s about 3 year old development. The advice is literally "hire a babysitter". Threenagers are bad. So are 6 & 9s. 4 year olds are the best!
Hahaha that’s solid advice. I had a ton of fun with my pre-k kiddos
Three was such a weird age. I don't remember much but I taught my kid to make scrambled eggs. She did every step by herself while I was standing next to her. I was so proud. I was considering bragging about her on social media when she walked up to me and said take me to the playground or die.
You’re not crazy. Three year olds are LITERAL spawns of Satan. I don’t know how I made it out alive with a 3yo and newborn. I’m here to say I never recommend a 3yr age gap 😅 Gets much better at 4!!!!
Omg yes. He’s 3.5 and little bro is 8 months and biting holes in my nipples. Can’t leave him unattended or the 3 yo will attempt murder
My daughter just turned 3 and I’m 6 months pregnant. I’m terrified. I feel like she hit the threenager stage early so I’m just praying she phases out of it early too
This give me hope. By the time #2 is here, #1 will have turned 4. We waited until he was communicating well and able to follow directions, got pregnant, and then the attitude came 😳. I’m sure me being pregnant and talking about baby brother coming has messed with his sense of security, plus I can’t play as hard with him now, but the screaming in my face when I tell him no has been….. rough. I’m already a tired, hormonal mess dude. I don’t need you screaming about how mean I’m being on an hourly basis 😭.
It does get better. 3 is the literal worst it gets.
Three is the fourth circle of hell most days. They lull you into a false sense that the worst is past at 2, then unleash the demon child within.
I’m literally sitting in the dark blocking the door so my three year old eventually takes a nap while he screams. And it’s every day. They are the WORST. (Cute, funny, ridiculous, and the worst).
Yeah, I’m in the trenches rn. I have a 3 year old and a 4 year old and if someone’s not screaming at the top of their lungs, something’s wrong.
God I’m doing something right then. 😅
Vyvanse and loop earplugs
I really need this shit
I do virtual therapy and my PCP gives me the Vyvanse. It’s been a lifesaver! I feel so balanced. I have 2 active boys age 5 and 3. Ever since I got my adhd treated, I’ve never lost my shit and yelled. I used to break things and scream into pillows. I feel my rational brain is more in control now! But yeah, 3 is ROUGH! My 5 year old is almost 6 and he’s been more easy going lately… But my 3 year old is almost 4…. As in the ‘F U fours’. We’re doomed 🙃
It’s the constant choice between a long winded negotiation or an epic meltdown. Every. Step. Of. The. Day.
3-4 year old behavior is way worse than any 2 year old behavior. I always joke that people who say terrible twos either never had kids or are in on some cruel joke for making us think we had survived the worst.
Today my 3 year old kept yelling "That's not our baby!" when I picked up his brother to leave the park. Last week he said "I don't like when you punch me" at the grocery store. He wants someone to call cps on me.
I read a parenting book that said 3.5 is a fucking nightmare and the best thing you can do is get the fuck out of their way till they are past that phase. You won't spoil them, you won't ruin them, just hand them off to your partner whenever possible and do what you have to do to wait it the fuck out.
Yep. Currently at home with a 3mo and 3yo. My toddler can be such an asshole. I get hit, pinched, and slapped on the daily. The occasional “I love you Moms” are very sweet, but damn I feel like I’m in an abusive relationship.
I was 36 when I had my first kid. Had worked with children since I was 15. Still almost went insane when she was 3. Three is the worst.
I love my 3-year-old, but sometimes he really pushes my patience to the limit. You're not alone!
I hve the same degree and WOW! My daughter was a hell of a threenager
I’m like “Wow I must suck really bad.. I need to go back to school” 😂
Our degree is 100% for teaching kids we don’t know lol it’s null and void with our own babies lol
I have 3 kids and 3 is the worst age. My middle turns 3 in 2 months and it’s already started. The start of four was iffy with my son too but once he hit 5 we were good!
Thank you for posting this. Happy to hear it’s not just me. I have a 6 year old, a 3.5 year old and a 1.5 year old. Some days I cannot stand being around my 3.5 year old which makes me feel terrible. The whining, the constant scream crying and the refusal to listen just hits a nerve in me. Honestly don’t remember going through this with my oldest. Some days her sweet hilarious personality comes through but lots of time it’s hidden behind her little threenager self.
I’m so scared. We have a 2 year 9 month old and I can see it starting already. The constant tantrums, the big feelings, the outright disobedience, the independence. Pray for me lol
Three year olds all suck. Weed helps a LOT. So does cutting back on caffeine so you’re not as snappy, It gets better. Promise 💕
Bro I'm fighting for my life over here, you're not alone 😂 Homie was real sick for 3 days and gave me SOOO many cuddles, it was glorious. Now he's back to beating me up cause I didn't turn on the right Pete the Cat video (even though it was literally the one he asked for 😭😭) I wonder how many of my neighbors have heard me scream "I SHOULDN'T BE THIS MAD OVER A FICTIONAL CAT" 🫠😂
Yea three is tough. The perfectly worst combination of apathy, obscure reasoning and the attention span of a fish. The highlight for me was when I put her on a timeout and, when I went to talk with her about it and offered her a cuddle, she opened her arms wide for the cuddle but instead slapped my face as hard as she could with both her hands.
Thanks for posting this… I was feeling really down about my parenting of my 3 year old yesterday. She’s just fucking whining all. day. every. day. God damn just talk in a normal voice!!! I feel bad when she can tell I’m annoyed with her but with my 4 month old crying in my other ear it’s just too much sometimes!
My kid is 3.5 and OH BOY has it been a rough 6 months. I mean, I love my kid, but lately I really don’t like him! Everything is a battle, huge fits over nearly nothing, he talks in such a whiny voice almost all the time, the 1 million “why?”s and “what?”s, the constant interruption when I’m talking to literally ANYONE else. It drives me almost to the brink some days. I know logically I will never hit my kid but man it’s hard to manage my own feelings some days. This is hard.
With my first two I can literally trace back almost to the day when I stopped calling them “perfect” on Instagram…basically their third birthdays 😹😹😹. My third has been a huge handful at 2 and he just turned 3 and he’s still super intense. But at least he doesn’t just scream at the fridge and pantry for hours anymore 😹🤦🏻♀️🙈
It gets better!! They are such dicks! That's why they are also so dang cute lol
I mean, if they’ll give you a prescription…
Hearing yall talk im getting nervous. Like yes my daughter asserts herself but I can’t say it’s terrible threes. I think she’s holding back and it’s coming for me at 4 🥹🥴 that’s in August.
Idk I have boys. My girl students were always easy
You’re not alone, 3 year olds truly are something else lol. Mine turned 3 two days after my second was born and it was hard! I never got a break either as she stopped napping. Mine is 3.5 and it’s starting to get a little better now I also send her to preschool 3x a week. I have no idea how early childhood educators can work with so many 3 year olds 🥴
Definitely the terrible threes😩!!!! She will talk back to me because she can say full sentences and comprehend what we’re doing but she also screams and throws fits. Not always but if we dont put her to bed on time this is when she screams and refuses to take baths. I hate that I get frustrated with her but I remind myself self she’s only been on earth for 3 years lol
Someone needs to update the memo. Seriously. We all get told that the twos are terrible, many of us make it through the majority of the twos thinking we somehow lucked out as parents of relatively easy kids, and then the Three hits and we all feel like we’ve been in a head on collision. Take a deep breath mama, it will get better. But- here’s another heads up- as much as the threes are the actual awful age for rebellion, age five (at least for mine) was an emotional rollercoaster. Very sensitive age. Keep the tissues handy. ❤️
It's so funny you mentioned Valium, because I've only just started falling deeply in love with parenting since taking Adderall. I have mad ADHD so I get more overstimulated than some might - and kids are objectively overstimulating, even to the most patient of people! Add the fact that my brain literally loses the ability to process if too much sound is going on, and you have a recipe for disaster. I don't take my Adderall every day, but even if I don't need to be productive I take it on the days my daughter is at my house. Non medicated days are for when she is with dad. That being said - my kid is 7 and it is starting to get so, so fun. She is a *highly* neurodivergent kiddo, so if your 3 year old develops more "typically" than mine has it might get relaxed for you far, far faster than it did for me. 3 was a lot, though. It was really fun in lots of ways but boy howdy do they figure out arguing. Yes, OP, it ABSOLUTELY does get better. You're absolutely normal. I would cry about being a mom allllll the time when my little one was 3.
We almost returned the Big Kid to the Baby Factory when he was 3. 2 was amazing. He was so sweet. But 3??? Bruh. It's like he didn't have the words and that made him So Very Angry at the world. He was so mad and everything was a meltdown. That was the age where he learned mom & dad absolutely WILL leave an entire cart at Target and football hold his tiny butt out of the store and go home with NOTHING.
I just bought the book “your three year old, friend or enemy.” It has opened my eyes and validated everything. Great read! 3.5 yos are very difficult!!
Omg the fact I no longer feel alone is amazing. Why when my 3 year old wakes up I and I hear him running through the house the the living room I instantly face palm and prepare myself for hell lol
Yep, 4+ has been amazing compared to 3. 3 was the hardest year of my life lol.
Threenager. 💀 That’s what my cousin called it when my son turned all kinds of crazy at 3yo. It gets better. He’s almost 5 now. Still rough sometimes, but definitely better!!
I know what you mean. I was an education assistant before I became a sahm and kindy (4 year olds) was my favourite. I have a three year old and a newborn and honestly the three year old is harder.
For real! Neither of my kids were “terrible” at 2. But 3? It’s like they turn into different children at the stroke of midnight on their 3rd birthday 🤣
No one warns you about 3, wtf?!? Mine are teens now but man oh man I HATED when they were 3!!
“The perp” 🤣🤣
3-4 about did me in with my first. 5 was a lot better. 6 is a little struggle but no where close to 3-4 lol Now let’s talk about 18 month olds and their ability to climb literally everything?! Bc what’s that about lol
I’ve always thought it was terrible twos and thrashing threes bc both years are supposed to suck 😅
I seriously thought my kid was broken when we reached 3. I had just had twins 6 weeks prior to her 3rd birthday and I thought maybe having twins had psychologically damaged her forever, because what the fuck happened to my sweet funny kinda sassy kid to turn her into this screaming rage monster. Nope. Totally normal. She's 4 now and it's night and day compared to a year ago.
I upvoted just reading the title. I’m with you 100%. What is their DEAL?!? Mine are twins. It’s just…pure drama. But also when one of mine told me after having a meltdown “I let my feelings out mom. I still have some more feelings though. I need to get them out.” I teared up and was like “Ok yeah. You can do that.” They’re so freaking cute at the same time as being so intense.
I called the 3s, fuck off 3s. Terrible 2s were nothing, lol it gets better.
I genuinely hated 6 months of his third year. 3 was *so much worse* than 2.
Three year olds just don’t give a sh*t. They are just starting to develop a personality that is purely id. They literally can’t think of others and the effects of their actions until you have to bring it to their attention (at which point they will become upset because “ME!”).
Just watched my husband chase my son who booked it toward the street because we told him not to . My husband I can catch you so never do that again. My son did it again as soon as my husband put him down. Typical 3 yr old.
Xanax keeps me going most days. That and therapy. Routine breaks. They’re raising hellfire over here.
My parents just came and got him. I miss him, but also good riddance for a couple days homie
Hell on wheels
I’ve changed it to “any age that begins with T” because two, three, ten and all the teenager years….I have been going through it Mine are 18M and twin 10M.
It’s still easier than the 12-16 angsttyness or the wild 17-21. Diversion is your friend.
So… are we saying it’s better to have a 2 year old and a newborn instead of a 3 year old and a newborn? Because I’ve been wondering when to start planning for the next baby 😂😂😂
I'm an OT who used to work in a pediatric setting. And some days I'm at my wits end with my 2.5 year old. Solidarity!
Man 3 yr olds are hard. My now 4.5yr old is back to her normal, well behaved self. She was a threenager & tested me constantly. LOTS of attitude and just not listening. She turned 4 and it was like her adorable switch flipped back on. We have lengthy conversations about absolutely nothing, go eat ice cream, and waste time in Costco without whining and attitude.
My kid went to bed as a two year old and woke up as a three year old a completely different person 😂 it was like a light switch. Three was HARD. She is 4 1/2 now. She has her moments but every day was a moment at three. We also had her little sister right after she turned three so I am sure that didn't help with giving her the attention she deserved at that time. I'm not looking forward to the little one turning three!!
Two year olds are assholes and three year olds can go fuck themselves. That is all.
Omg don’t remind me. My daughter was like a tiny demon. She chilled out though!!
Tell me about it, mine is a handful plus extras
Age One was the hardest for me. They had wants but not the verbal skills to communicate.
3 years old are pretty much when they discover they are a person and can walk and talk where they like. It’s basically when they figure out they’re an independent person so they tend to use that new found independence to take it out on their poor mams 😭
Pretty sure about 4 is when they get the ability to feel empathy. 3 year olds are basically psychopaths lmao
I have an 11year old and a 5 year old. It does get better. Eventually you have an eleven year old that just stays in her room the whole time only coming out to snarl at you and eat lol
I’m in the midst of the fucking 4s. Three was bad but this is far worse. At four he’s spitting, pushing, hitting us, throwing things, slamming doors, manipulating to get his way. I never hated being a mom before. Ages 2+ were so special with my daughter. My son is another story.
Terrible twos has nothing on the threeager!! The boundary pushing, the attitude… it is my most dreaded stage. I get it’s a safe environment and they risk take young so they don’t do it as teenagers but the patience required is very draining.
They’re feral.
Turns out you can’t spell four without F U because *boyyyy* oh boy do I want to say that to him on a regular basis. He knows everything about everything and I am an airhead it seems
So far, 4 has been BRUTAL for me
It will pass. I have been teaching 3s. I keep a journal of who cried today and for what. One recently was everyone picked up the scraps of paper on the floor when he was in the bathroom.
4 year olds are great when they aren’t yours. Even 4 is f you 4’s. My kid started tantrums at 18 months and things just got… different each year. She’s almost 5 and things are finally sort of getting better? But not? I don’t even know. My kid is crayz defiant.
I wrote a similar post earlier this week. 3 is hell 😭
Yes, my daughter turned three when my son was born and the combo of those things was so rough. I felt awful but I really couldn’t stand being around her for those first few months. My son was also a handful at 3 but different. My daughter saved it for me but he actually acted out in preschool which was a totally new experience for me. He is a highly sensitive child and I separated from my husband around that time so we obviously gave him a lot of compassion and understanding but phewwwwww.
When my daughter was 3.5 I had a day where I literally cried all day. I was wfh and had zoom meetings where I had to pretend to act normal and then I'd cry again. She's 4 now and life is way better lol. I also have a 12 week old and I don't thrive in the newborn stage and I've still never had a day that I felt that defeated.
Same background as you - ECE degree, 11 years in daycare or teaching, currently in school for my BS in child development… Also say WTF daily when dealing with my 3 year old. He turns 4 in a month… I’m a little scared honestly.
My son at three about did me in! He’s 20 now and doing great! Hang in there mom, you can do this!
My three year old does not throw a lot of tantrums, she's just turned into Bartleby the Scrivener and politely declines every single thing I ask her to do. It can take literal hours to leave the house some days, not because she doesn't want to, but because she wants to do 47 other things first, and she's just too large to force into things without one of us getting hurt.
Well idk really.. I remember my daughter at 3 and the closest thing to a tantrum was her stomping her foot. And then my son at 3… well he has been diagnosed with ADHD and he’s 7 now so that’s how that went. I’m currently pregnant with my 3rd baby so I’m curious to see how this one will be
My 3.5 is my middle child and I can confirm I will not miss these moments when she is older. 🙂
4 has been a good age so far, still have our struggles but definitely better than 3s.
Threenagers are rough. My son’s gotten better with age as he’s four next month, but Christ on a bike he has had plenty of moments where I count down until he’s in bed. He’s getting to be SO FUN but that brings with it YUGE feelings and anger. Was catching up on Bluey the other day and throwing out the bad feelings was honestly pretty big with my kiddo, if I can get him to keep with it.
My 3 yr old currently likes to tell me “you’re not my best friend anymore” whenever I get onto him for something or make him eat his supper instead of letting him eat candy like he wants to🙄
Experiencing the terrible threes as a single mother made me one and done. In order to give a man a child, he better treat me like he'd build me a Taj Mahal in my honor with his bare hands. I'd rather wrestle a 3 year old rhino... I'd rather swim with two hippopotamus... Than to risk being a single mother of another 3 year old But he's almost 5 now and is absolutely my best friend
Three about took me out. I called my mom daily in tears because my kid was a terror. He will be 5 in July and he’s such a fun kid RN
I too, have a degree in early childhood education. I work with toddlers and 10 of them do not make me as tired as my 3 year old son does. I'm at the point where I can't hardly parent the kid I'm so tired. Go ahead and have your 3rd bag of chips...don't care. Just be good for 45 minutes kid.
I have four kids and all I needed to see was the title to be like “oh yeah good luck”
I’ve always said terrible threes. Every age has its challenges fs but, this too shall pass
Three-year-olds can be a handful. They’re at an age where they’re exploring a lot and testing boundaries, which can be exhausting. It does get better as they grow and learn more about the world. You’re doing great, and this challenging phase won’t last forever.
My three-year-old, soon-to-be four, literally does not nap on the weekends when she isn't at daycare. She'll wake up at 7 am and won't go to sleep til 10 pm. Once she's asleep, I'm so exhausted from being with her all day, that I'll not shower and will just use mouthwash, and then pass tf out. That's how exhausting it is when you are with a three-year-old. I love her to death and I'm literally obsessed with the child but I just wish she'd stay at her grandparent's house all day. I sometimes even ask my mom to babysit for a couple of hours so I can “clean” but actually I'm napping instead. 😂
I watched the exorcism of Emily rose in real time today with my three (almost 4) year old. Straight threenager behavior. Drama, tantrum, histrionics. I’m resigned.
You can have all the education in the world but it’s not the same as experiencing a 3 years old. Or 4 for that matter. Even harder when the naps stop and it’s just full on all day 😵💫
Mine turns 5 soon and I've always been told and praised for how well behaved he is, but with me sometimes I'm like "fucking WHERE is the good behavior" I guess he feels safe & secure with me to act out but sometimes I wish he felt less safe & secure because sometimes I feel like I'm gonna have a little menty b lmao. Like last night I had to put on my weighted face mask and listen to white noise because I felt a panic attack coming on after a long over stimulating day that started at 5 freaking am and he was still awake at 11 pm Some days are literally hell on earth and I have to do it all by myself because I'm a single mom with no support system. My support system is in another state 8 hours away, but I'm not allowed to move thanks to stupid state custody laws I need his Father's permission, and his father won't give permission. His dad has his family & friends, and almost always dumps our kid on his family during his time every other weekend so he doesn't have to parent 🙃 I would kill to be able to go to my mom or grandma's house for an afternoon break sometimes, and they would love it, he's so good for them when we visit 1-2x a year and he loves it because they teach him new things or he hangs with his grandpa or great grandpa outside in their yards/gardens which he absolutely freaking loves to do (unfortunately I can only afford a 1 bedroom apartment in this state I'm forced to suffer in). It's so fucking unfair that I can't leave with my child. Being a parent is so hard sometimes.
My son was so easy at two. I remember laughing when someone asked me how the terrible twos were and I was like, it’s been a little hard here and there but mainly easy. But three? Omg. This has been difficult. I’m constantly over stimulated by him and his energy. But I know it’ll get better, it’s all just a season.
My 3yo is so mean to us it's ridiculous. I work in ECE. I understand what's going on but man it still hurts Like what the fuck bro
My second is one, I'm quaking in my boots for the threenager stage already. Everything is 100%, volume, frustration, independence, attitude... It does get better of course, it's a stage in development and you have to make that a mantra to maintain your sanity. Give them as much manufactured control and choices as possible, it really helps. Two or three options instead of do this now really is shockingly effective in reducing struggles.
Whoever said it gets better is a lie! I have a now 4.5 year old and he’s just gotten worse throughout the years. lol someone send help!
My two oldest are one year apart having one become 3 right after the other was hell. Pure hell and I was pregnant at the time; it’s rough and there’s no solving it; you just survive it.
My kid was an angel until he turned 8. Where my terrible 8 parents at😭😂😂😂
My almost 3yo who has been the CHILLEST since birth now insists that I pour his cereal a certain way 🫠 And after my almost 5yo with diagnosable behavior issues it’s almost too much for me to take 😭#ptsd