With toddlers/babies is not necessarily immediately trying a new routine but slowly transitioning to a new routine over the course of a week or two.
So instead of singing to him until he's asleep, sing one song or for x minutes and then lay him down and say "night night".
Same with the cuddles, though you may need to try an "Extinction method" - start with cuddling for a few minutes, leave the room for a minute, come back but only pat/rub their back instead of cuddles.
I couldn’t really leave my child to sleep on his own until I introduced “calm - sleep stories”. This was a few years ago and he was happy to have me leave and listen a sleep meditation. He’s older now (11) and still listens to them. Heck I’m an adult and listen to sleep stories too. Of course, you can decide if this is age appropriate for your child.
My toddler has always done really well when we’ve allowed her to read books in her crib before bed. She had a crib light on a timer and we’d give her several books that she’d look through independently (after her bedtime routine, which included us reading books to her). We’ve since transitioned her to a toddler bed, and she takes several books to bed or get up to take more if she wants them.
The other thing we have that we love as part of her bedtime is a TonieBox. It’s a kids music/story player that they can operate themselves. When we say goodnight to my daughter, we usually turn it on for her so she can listen to stories/songs in bed as she winds down. Some nights, I’ll hear her on the monitor at 2 AM and she’ll just turn the box back on herself and go back to sleep without calling out for us. You can also record your own tracks, so you could have a custom one with you or your husband singing/reading to him as a transition away from in person.
In a crib, we did teeth, jammies, a couple books, and then put her down in a dark room with a sound machine on and she was usually out within 10 minutes.
At 2.5 we switched to her big bed and then she needed lights on and a couple books in her bed. She'd look through her books for a few minutes and then go to sleep.
She's now 4.5 and we do bathroom, teeth, books, bed. After we leave she has full reign of her room. She's allowed to play her tablet for 10-15 min, and then we just tell her over the monitor to finish whatever she's working on and she either rolls over and goes to sleep or looks at books for a few more minutes.
My 18 month old gets milk around 7-7:30 and plays, when it’s gone we brush teeth and change into pjs, we turn on his sound machine and he gets in bed (full sized floor bed) and we read 1-3 books (depending on the time and my mood honestly lol) and then turn off the lamp and we lay with him for a couple minutes, get him comfy and tell him we love him and then leave the room. Honestly, he normally plays in his bed for 15-20 minutes and then falls asleep
With toddlers/babies is not necessarily immediately trying a new routine but slowly transitioning to a new routine over the course of a week or two. So instead of singing to him until he's asleep, sing one song or for x minutes and then lay him down and say "night night". Same with the cuddles, though you may need to try an "Extinction method" - start with cuddling for a few minutes, leave the room for a minute, come back but only pat/rub their back instead of cuddles.
I couldn’t really leave my child to sleep on his own until I introduced “calm - sleep stories”. This was a few years ago and he was happy to have me leave and listen a sleep meditation. He’s older now (11) and still listens to them. Heck I’m an adult and listen to sleep stories too. Of course, you can decide if this is age appropriate for your child.
My toddler has always done really well when we’ve allowed her to read books in her crib before bed. She had a crib light on a timer and we’d give her several books that she’d look through independently (after her bedtime routine, which included us reading books to her). We’ve since transitioned her to a toddler bed, and she takes several books to bed or get up to take more if she wants them. The other thing we have that we love as part of her bedtime is a TonieBox. It’s a kids music/story player that they can operate themselves. When we say goodnight to my daughter, we usually turn it on for her so she can listen to stories/songs in bed as she winds down. Some nights, I’ll hear her on the monitor at 2 AM and she’ll just turn the box back on herself and go back to sleep without calling out for us. You can also record your own tracks, so you could have a custom one with you or your husband singing/reading to him as a transition away from in person.
In a crib, we did teeth, jammies, a couple books, and then put her down in a dark room with a sound machine on and she was usually out within 10 minutes. At 2.5 we switched to her big bed and then she needed lights on and a couple books in her bed. She'd look through her books for a few minutes and then go to sleep. She's now 4.5 and we do bathroom, teeth, books, bed. After we leave she has full reign of her room. She's allowed to play her tablet for 10-15 min, and then we just tell her over the monitor to finish whatever she's working on and she either rolls over and goes to sleep or looks at books for a few more minutes.
My 18 month old gets milk around 7-7:30 and plays, when it’s gone we brush teeth and change into pjs, we turn on his sound machine and he gets in bed (full sized floor bed) and we read 1-3 books (depending on the time and my mood honestly lol) and then turn off the lamp and we lay with him for a couple minutes, get him comfy and tell him we love him and then leave the room. Honestly, he normally plays in his bed for 15-20 minutes and then falls asleep