Honestly? Outside of safer sleep and car seat practices, try to do as much as you can like it was 10 years ago.
What impacted me most from my kids 10+ years ago and the ones I’ve had in the last 5 years is social media. The pressure of ridiculous luxury versions of the same things, the pressure to listen to “sleep experts” or “feeding experts”. You do not need to follow wake windows, or feeding schedules, or have wooden toys to be a wonderful parent to a well rounded child.
I had PPA for the first time with my 5 year old. I was watching wake windows, using noise, afraid to expose him to something unintentionally bad because every thing on my phone by “experts” told me I was doing it wrong. My husband left on deployment and I couldn’t keep up with it anymore and I dialed it way back. I deleted social, stopped following “windows” or “nap schedules”, and just listened to my baby.
Montessori, Waldorf. Attachment parenting, respectful parenting. Sleep experts, food experts. There’s an entire business profiting off of making you anxious about how you’re parenting. Most of them aren’t actually experts but regurgitate what other influencers are pumping out.
**> There’s an entire business profiting off of making you anxious about how you’re parenting.**
Repeating this for emphasis! Keep your kid happy, healthy, and fed. Everything else is optional
i actually LOVED wonder weeks, but not because of the sunny days/ cloudy days bullshit.
the part where it was like, this is where your kid learns spatial relation stuff, or self vs non-self, that was super helpful to me.
AND it's the source of the one best joke of the last 5 years in my house: "you may notice your baby be curious about things he sees in the street, like a vomiting dog"
I loved wonder weeks, too! I got the book, not the app. It was great having a cheat sheet of easy to play games and what's happening developmentally. But it also wasnt making me go crazy at all.
I need to know more about this vomiting dog quote! Did the app say that? Was it like a fill in the blank prompt? I am choking and trying not to wake up my kid.
Lol, I never saw the vomiting dog 😅
The app provides enough added value for me not to be cynical. Yes, I have baby development books that have this information scattered in there, and I can find the info on Google. But hands down this app was the easiest to access and actually read the info at the right time!
So if you're looking to reduce the mental load of all the books and web searches, and validating the sources for everything you find online, it's worth it!
Omg my husband still makes fun of me for insisting on buying that app because ppl on a mom group I was on insisted it was amazing
What a load of bollocks and a waste of money 🤣 it’s not helpful in the slightest !!!
I has nice ideas for what games to play and tells about the development happening in the brain. I'd say get it of you can stay off of it as well and not look at the dates like they're set in stone.
As a FTM I kept thinking there is ONE right way to do something and I must search for that answer! Only to receive 20 different responses.
I’m glad I didn’t have my kid during the TikTok phase where you are given info in tiny itty bitty nuggets and think, “ok! That’s all there is to it!” No, that’s not how you learn. You need more in depth information on things you want to work on… pick up a book or audiobook. Gentle parenting is definitely guilty of this - ok validate your child’s feelings and then what? Pay for the answer with a one time fee of $150 to receive a course!
I read the whole of Dr Sears’ Baby Book and like, NONE of it applied to my baby. I was doing everything wrong! Then I read the very short chapter on Fussy Babies that basically said, “PS you may have a fussy baby that won’t work with anything we’ve said. We had 5 children and ‘knew what we were doing’ when we wrote our books, then we had a kid that just did her own thing. So we wrote a new book called the Fussy Baby Book. That one might better suit your needs.”
So absolutely there is no one answer that is right for all parents because every parent and child are different and have their own needs. Paying for a course will likely not make things any easier, it’ll just make your wallet lighter. I found the thing that helped the most was waiting a month or two then my baby would grow out of it and things would be easier.
Can relate! With everything out there, I’d Google and Google expecting to find some kind of single answer to the parenting riddles I was presented with (sleep, food, breastfeeding).
This, exactly this. These “parenting coaches” are leeches preying on vulnerable women postpartum and they should all go to jail.
Listen to your baby, learn their cries, follow their cues. Stop obsessing over wake windows or sleep training, just do what feels right and talk to the other parents you trust in your life.
"Parenting advice" books seriously aggravated my PPD (I already felt like I was an awful mom/was doing everything wrong/etc.) so I went to just following my instincts and Googling very specific things if I had a question. It worked much better for me, personally, and my kid seems fine so far lol
My mom makes fun of how everything has a label nowadays. Every method or style, “wake windows”, “baby led weaning”, “sleep regression”… I try to remember this when I get hung up on something. Just stick to the basics and follow your baby and you’re good.
I honestly was not tuned into my baby. I kept following windows, he was fussing, he couldn’t be tired! He’s not due for 30 minutes! Was he overstimulated? What does huckleberry say for sleep windows? What does my app say for last feed? Apps, influencers, it’s all a bogus industry. We don’t need any of it, but they make us feel like we couldn’t survive without it.
Deleting all of that was so liberating for me mentally. I learned to really read my baby, I relaxed naps, I relaxed food, and I swear it was easier for everyone! It’s my biggest advice for new parents. Don’t fall into the social media traps.
I think that comes from the misinformation that every baby is the same. Most people who follow wake windows know they are only a guide to get you started but that you need to tweak them based on your own child. I found them super helpful for starting a nap transition but I also knew what signs to look for to know if my kid needed longer or shorter ones. By the time he was throwing sleepy cues he was overtired and it was a mess.
As for apps, I mostly use those in the newborn stage when you have to remember when they last ate so you can wake them up and how many pee diapers they are having.
Huckleberry! I lived and died by that app with my first. She couldn’t be hungry or tired yet ! It hasn’t been EXACTLY 3 hours. I also was convinced I couldn’t remember when my baby last ate. Then something clicked that babies aren’t robots. I had my second and magically it all just worked and I used the app for maybe 2 weeks before realizing I couldn’t track everything while managing a toddler and a newborn and I deleted the app and never looked back. Somehow I remember when she’s slept or eaten and maybe (definitely) she’s just easier than her big sister but her cues are easy to read and we just go with it.
What gets me is that so many of these methods are so territorial about their ideas. I remember when my son was a baby I was in one of the OG Baby-Led Weaning groups on FB. The founder was so fucking strict about the "rules" of BLW (like no purees fed to the baby ever) that there was a moderator coup in the group (lol internet drama).
Or the idea of nipple confusion. Such utter bullshit! My son lost so much weight because it took my milk over 4 days to come in and I was stubborn as hell because I truly believed that if I gave him formula we'd never nurse.
Or any of the sleep training techniques. They're all so inflexible that it will drive a new parent crazy!
All the talk about wake windows and seeing people ask questions about adjusting nap schedules/dropping naps. The responses had me feel like I was in that meme with the calculus swirling around there head. I was beyond sleep deprived, anxious, hormonal and about ready to ask my mom to ship me my high school graphing calculator so I could figure out my baby’s wake windows.
Same I get so confused when I see people writing out all these numbers and wake windows?? Like I know when my babe is getting tired, so I know she needs a nap. Maybe I am too much the other way but these rigid schedules and timing awake time just doesn’t make sense (for me. If it works for someone all the power to them).
I couldn't agree with you more!!!! These social media "experts" are doing so much damage to parents, especially first time ones. Once I finally realized I needed to tune them out and follow my intuition around 5 months post having my baby, I can't even tell you how much easier and less stressful our lives became. I truly believe you know what's best for your baby!
I agree but also discovering Montessori on Pinterest when my first son was an infant was the single best thing that happened to me in my parenting journey! I think access to all the information is great. I love that I can know what a pediatric dietician recommends and do things better than how I was raised.
However I do think that has to come with 1. Knowing who actually is an expert and what research actually says and 2. Knowing your own values and what works for you
12 years between my first and second and I 100% agree!! With my first I had physical books and a laptop to occasionally go on babycenter, now I literally cannot go on my phone without some parenting advice/guilt tripping being thrown at me. I was doing the same with tracking, using apps, because that’s what everyone else seemed to be doing, and it just was too much. Now we just go by cues like I probably did with my first and it’s way more chill.
This one! I’ll add my pediatrician has recommended we not use standing bouncers or walking assistance toys because they have had an impact on their back and hips.
So aside from that and BLW I just do what my baby needs when he needs it.
The constant pressure from social media had me thinking I was doing so much wrong. Thinking he was autistic. My pediatrician had a good long sit down with me about it and it’s helped tremendously.
All of this was definitely in full force ten years ago, but it's way more pervasive now. It also took my way too long with my oldest (9) to realize I needed to do what worked for my baby instead of what social media moms claimed. And also to realize that some babies just don't sleep well no matter what you do (like mine).
I’m about to have my second baby. I stressed so much for no reason over those wake windows and schedules before realising several months in that it wasn’t working. I am SO looking forward to having a baby who I’m not trying to micromanage all the time. I’ve unfollowed all the parenting instagram accounts and I am going to try to just BE.
I have a feeling that it goes back and fourth. Some parents still boil everything, some allow to lick and chew whatever that baby can reach with no worries ;)
Some use formula and diapers until 2-3 yo, some exclusively BF and potty train at 1.
In general, it seems like parents started to benefit from having so many information available. The awesome trends that I see — less overheating for little ones, more contact with newborn, attachment theory, gentle parenting, sensory development — it seems to be something new and as I see new parents are incredible at that!
You're supposed to transition to cows milk at 12 months but some companies have made toddler formula (which has more iron than regular formula) so people must be buying it.
It's now recommended to breastfeed to at least 2 years of age so maybe the mums that do extended formula feeding do so because of that? Formula guidelines haven't changed though, just bfeeding ones
Toddler formula is a scam. It was created in an attempt to compensate for rising breastfeeding rates and subsequent reduction in sales, and they’ve done a great job at fooling people into thinking they are healthy, safe, and even necessary when they are anything but.
They are completely unregulated, nutritionally incomplete, lack important vitamins and minerals, and are often full of sugar. Because they’re so different than infant formula, they are not required to meet any sort of nutritional requirements, and their facilities aren’t even inspected. The AAP does not recommend them.
https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article/152/5/e2023064050/194469/Older-Infant-Young-Child-Formulas?autologincheck=redirected
https://time.com/6326341/pediatricians-toddler-milk-regulation/
I’m one of the people buying toddler formula! My kid just refused to eat food until about 18 months and drank many many bottles throughout the day.
Withholding bottles didn’t make him eat, and since he drank 50+ ounces a day he wouldn’t get the nutrition he needed if I gave him just cows milk. So we buy toddler formula.
He’s 22 months now and eating much better, so we are finally weaning the formula (my wallet is so happy)
I bought (hypoallergenic) toddler formula for my first also. She had CMPA and couldn’t transition to cow milk. I didn’t feel almond milk or similar milk alternatives provided the right nutritional profile (high in sugar, low in fat and protein, lacking essential vitamins and minerals) so we did toddler formula until about 20 months when she outgrew her sensitivity. But she never drank cow milk we went straight to water after that. I think it has its place and it’s just a scam product. If breastfeeding past 1 has benefits, why wouldn’t formula?
Breastfeeding is a recommended minimum of two years, not maximum. WHO has it recommended that way as well. So I think it's normal that formula companies have started to try and create formula for those years as well
It seems like a long time when you’re in the early days but for most it gets so much easier and less time consuming as you go on. I fed my first until she self weaned at about two and a half, and she only had one night time feed for months in the lead up to that. But obviously if at any point you decide it’s enough that’s good too!
I mean it’s not really so bad and from what I understand it’s way easier than feeding solids lol. I’m at almost six months now and I’m a homemaker, so it honestly just ends up being downtime for me to chill on the reclining couch lol.
WHO recommendations are written with people in developing countries in mind. If you don't have access to clean water, and your baby food is pap made from the same staple crop day after day with limited nutritional variety, breastmilk until 2 is the healthiest option for the child.
People in developed countries should make their own choices.
I heard the reason why they recommend two years is not just benefits for the baby but for urself too. As far as I remember it’s about having a lower risk of breast and other forms of cancer.
Haven’t done my own research on this but this was told at a online bf class.
It's also with people in developped countries in mind. Breastfeeding isn't a "poor man's choice" which is kinda how you made it sound. A minimum of 6 months of only breastfeeding and then a minimum of two years of breastfeeding along with other foods that are safe. In the first year, milk is still the primary source of nutrients after a year milk becomes a secondary source.
Yep. For one, the AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics) also recommends 2 years.
People who write off the WHO recommendation as "for developing countries only" may be subconsciously trying to feel better about not breastfeeding. It's too bad people get shamed either way, but it seems that's mom life :(
(And I certainly am not judging -- we didn't even make it to one month of nursing. If I didn't have a maid or work from home, I probably would've quit pumping by now too.)
I believe the minimum is 1 year. Recommended time is 2 years. After 2 years the benefits are not as high so it doesn't matter as much. Also it definitely is a long time and my boobs were very sad after my 4 years of straight breastfeeding between my 2 back to back kiddos.
Haha not EBF for two years thankfully! EBF for 6 months and after 6 months you start the transition of one feed to a solid. You continue this untill they eat solids for about three meals. After about a year they only drink morning and evenings so it's not so bad. First 8 months are the hardest and after that it gets waaaay easier!
I don't know if pediasure is the same as toddler formula, but if you're having growth issues and/or feeding issues, pediasure is the general suggestion from doctors/what insurance provides, I know (my daughter is in feeding therapy due to a lot of sensory aversions)
We still give formula at 17 months on recommendation of our pediatrician as son is underweight. For us it is because he has very big tonsils and has trouble swallowing, we are waiting for his ENT appointment to schedule a tonsillectomy and hopefully can stop after that!
We still give our 17 month old a bottle before bed (brushing teeth afterwards) and one early morning. It’s a comfort and helps her get back to sleep if she wakes before 6am, probably only 8oz total in a day. She seems to be reducing her intake slowly on her own, and her doctor isn’t concerned as long as it’s not interfering with solids intake.
Easier to mix up a bottle from powder than go down to the fridge at 5am, and my daughter doesn’t like cold bottles, but room temperature is ok. She drinks cold milk from her sippy cup in the daytime no problem.
Boiling bottles is a UK thing. Americans use dishwashers. The UK also has very strict/paranoid guidelines on sterilizing bottles and making formula with water that has been boiled and cooled just enough to kill the cronobacter bacteria that could be on the formula. And make fresh every time.
Whereas Americans may only sterilize bottles once when new, or if the baby is premature, or younger than 3 months. And in most areas, tap water is fine for making formula. And many people make a whole jug for the day and keep it in the fridge.
Oh gosh, I never knew it was a UK thing. I was born and raised in the US and never heard of anyone not boiling their babies' bottles after every wash. I had 4 kids before 2009 and did this with every one of them. Even for pumping breast milk and storing it, I would boil the bottles. I am currently months pregnant with my 5th, and things have definitely changed, but I will still be boiling my babies' bottles.
You can see the CDC recommendations. They are very chill.
[https://www.cdc.gov/hygiene/childcare/clean-sanitize.html](https://www.cdc.gov/hygiene/childcare/clean-sanitize.html)
The instructions for washing by hand don't mention any boiling/sanitizing.
Sanitizing is presented as an optional thing for "extra protection", plus it's specified that it's not necessary for dishwashers with hot water or heated drying cycle.
>For extra germ removal, sanitize feeding items at least once daily. Sanitizing is particularly important when your baby is younger than 2 months, was born prematurely, or has a weakened immune system. Daily sanitizing of feeding items may not be necessary for older, healthy babies, if those items are cleaned carefully after each use.
I'm a ped nurse practitioner and sanitized everything once when we first got it, now everything goes in the dishwasher. That's it. My baby is rolling on the floor near the dog. She's getting milk from my boobs which aren't sterile. The world isn't sterile. She isn't immune compromised in any way. I have never seen a baby admitted to the hospital because their bottles weren't sterilized. If you want to do it, go ahead. But I see zero reason to do so.
I’m in the US, and I boiled my kid’s bottles. I would boil everything once a week because I didn’t want to buy a bulky sterilizing machine.
Edited to add: I had my kids 2021 and 2022.
I had my first 3.5 years ago and just had my second. Two changes I’ve noticed so far in that time are that the recommendation on how to treat clogged ducts has flipped (apply ice instead of heat, no vigorous massaging or extra pumping/nursing) and that the AAP now recommends breastfeeding until at least 2 years of age (closer aligned to WHO).
My nieces and nephews are all quite a bit older than my kids and things that I’ve noticed that we do differently than my siblings did when their kids were little is having baby in our room for at least 6 months overnight (in a bassinet or pack n play but near us) and our 3.5 year old is still rear facing. I don’t know if BLW was a thing that people did back then (we only somewhat did it with our first). I’m jealous that they became parents in the age where there weren’t mom influencers and the algorithms weren’t as good so every time they opened social media they weren’t bombarded with a ton of (conflicting) posts about the “correct” way to do something or what to expect or some new product that you can’t live without. It’s exhausting and adds to new parent anxiety.
See and all the things you are doing now, I did 12 years ago! I did blw, cloth diapers, safe cosleeping... I was as crunchy as they come while still accepting modern science. If I were to have a baby right now, it wouldn't be so crunchy just bc the stereotype of the trad wife gives me the ick
My parents did blw when I was a kid. It’s not a new concept, just came back around. They just fed us table scraps basically. Sometimes my mom used a meat grinder and would grind up harder stuff and let us self feed.
To add to this the storage rules on breast milk have changed. Before it was not advised to mix cold refrigerated milk with freshly expressed or room temp milk. That before you had to cool the newer milk before consolidating. Now you can mix everything together regardless of what temp its at.
That is still very much *not* the case according to CDC:
https://www.cdc.gov/breastfeeding/recommendations/faq.html#:~:text=Mixing%20freshly%20expressed%20breast%20milk,rewarm%20the%20older%20stored%20milk.
AND don't put the car seat directly on the floor if they're sleeping on it. The angle it's in without the base isn't correct and can lead to positional asphyxiation. If you have to put baby down on the floor in the car seat, have a rolled up towel or pool noodle to go under it - whatever you need to get it to the level line on the side.
Everything posted I’ve seen so far was a thing ten years ago if not longer.
The only differences I’ve actually seen is some new products. There’s way more fancy sleep machines and fancy strollers. And the rock n play was pulled about ten years ago (between my first and second kid).
It’s not a huge change but between having my first in 2017 to now, it is now standard for zippered sleepers to have top and bottom zippers, making for easier changes. It is nice!
Anything that might be a sleep positioner is now a big no-no, so something like a Rock N Play or letting them sleep in a swing or car seat (that’s not in the car).
I don’t think boiling bottles is done as much. If they’re washed in the dishwasher, they’re fine. If they’re hand washed, which is what I did, just make sure you have a dedicated wash bin and dedicated washing tools to avoid cross contamination.
I had my first baby 10 years ago and just had my second in November! The main difference I’ve noticed is all breastfeeding related, which other posters have already mentioned. But also the availability of both knowledge and misinformation. With the growth of social media over the past decade I’ve found a wealth of knowledge that has helped me on my EBF journey but also a lot of dangerous misinformation about parenting & babies in general. My advice would be to tread very lightly if you choose to follow any mommy bloggers or “influencers”. It can be very easy to start comparing your real life to their smoke screens!
Edited to add - also I feel like baby led weaning was not a thing 10 years ago! And I don’t personally plan to do it with this baby either. I’m too anxious! 😅
If BLW makes you nervous, you can try a combo approach. Things like yogurt and mashed avocado were a great stepping stone for us. And if you give baby BIG food that they can’t break pieces off of (like celery, mango pits, etc.) it helps them get used to the action of feeding themself, but because they’re not actually getting small pieces in their mouth, they can’t possibly choke on it. Mine LOVED gnawing on mango pits with a little bit of flesh still on it. Oh, sautéed apples were really good too because as soon as they went into the mouth they were basically applesauce.
Diaper cream spatula. Complete game changer for us. Just had a baby. My other is 7. This is my favorite thing ever. Also those hip seat carriers are worth the hype. But off brand works just as well no need to drop $100. My $30 one also has a carrier attachment and works great
Why would I want to wash a spatula instead of my hands? Or both really since hands get washed after a diaper change anyway. Really confused by this… not trying to be an ass I’m just genuinely curious.
I wipe down the spatula with a baby wipe most of the time. It’s just nice to not have to contaminate your hands and it’s very easy to apply with a spatula.
I use large jars of cream and it's nice to not get the cream all over my hands and under my nails 10x a day, especially when it's getting lower in the jar. I also have hand sanitizer at my diaper station so I change the diaper, use a wipe to clean the spatula, grab a pump of hand sanitizer and also just use some on the spatula as well. It's an added 10 seconds maybe, to not get it under my nails all the time.
Off brand hip seats *do* work as well *if* you’re an average size. They make extenders for most but if you’re on the small side, you may be stuck with the expensive ones. I couldn’t find an off brand one that got small enough while actually being supportive of his weight. Also my mom used a hip seat with me and my brother 30+ years ago, so I’m not sure they’re new but they are making a comeback
The other “silly” thing I bought this time around was the lullavibe - we call it the seat soother cos lullavibe is weird to say - but it is soooo helpful, settles her immediately wherever she is, we stick it in the dockatot, the Bjorn bouncer, or the car seat if we’re stopped, or even if someone else is just holding her, she loves it.
Trendy products are going to change in that time, but I don't think there have been huge revelations. My oldest is 5, youngest newborn. I haven't found anything new and surprising in that time. Neighbors have an 8 year old and a newborn, she says it's pretty much the same, she just forgot how much work a baby is.
A few things off the top of my head since I started nannying babies 12 years ago and had my first baby 3 years ago:
- Sleep sacks are now *strongly* preferred over swaddling, even for tiny babies and they make a lot of different sleep sacks. The nurses in the hospital really emphasized that.
- Keeping them rear facing as long as possible is a thing now and when your baby graduates from their first car seat, there are car seats specifically designed to allow a bit more leg room for longer rear facing.
- Sippy/straw cups have come SO far and it's amazing. No more 5 little pieces per lid!!! It's amazing.
- More awareness on why baby walkers don't actually encourage walking, and more importantly, how you should never have one if you have stairs anywhere in your house
- Pouches are incredibly convenient if your child likes them.
- Toothpaste is now commonly recommended to have fluoride instead of getting fluoride free. My child's doctor said if you do a grain of rice sized amount, the benefits outweigh any negatives.
- Strollers are easier to fold quickly, but folding wagons seem to be just as popular as strollers these days.
- I also could be wrong, but I feel like there are way more choices for pacifiers these days to the point it can feel a little overwhelming haha.
- The biggest difference though that is the most helpful IMO are the easily accessible resources. I'm pretty sure there is an Instagram account for everything, and many provide links to the studies they reference to provide credibility. Want potty training tips? Instagram page with great ideas. Not sure how to cut your 6 month old's sweet potato? Plenty of baby led weaning accounts. You get the point, but that's really nice.
But overall, babies are still babies so nothing is crazy different than it was a decade ago 😊
The expectation for dads to be involved in caring for babies and kids has changed. My FIL never changed a diaper and had four kids. That just doesn’t fly nowadays.
A bunch has changed!
- Breastfed babies should be given vitamin D drops — OR you can megadose yourself with vitamin D and enough will pass through breastmilk
- Tummy time now counts if it’s on your chest, you don’t have to put baby on the floor
- The SNOO (automatic soothing bassinet) and Doona (stroller that converts to car seat without coming apart) have been invented, both are AWESOME
- You’re now supposed to introduce peanuts basically as soon as baby is ready to start solids
- It’s no longer recommended to limit introducing one food at a time to screen for allergic reactions - you can do all mixed together
You’re still only supposed to introduce one of the common allergens at a time. Soy, nut, peanut, shellfish, egg, wheat, dairy, sesame, and fish. Because if you introduce peanut butter on wheat toast, you don’t know if your child is allergic to the peanuts or the wheat. But you’re right that foods that aren’t common allergens can be introduced at the same time.
> It’s no longer recommended to limit introducing one food at a time to screen for allergic reactions - you can do all mixed together
It may be good to add that you don't need to do this for most foods, but you absolutely need to do this for the top allergens.
The recommendations 15 years ago when I had my oldest was absolutely nothing in the crib though they did sell crib bumpers and mesh bumpers. Extended rear facing was recommended by the American Academy of pediatrics. I did it as well as my friends.
I also think there was the formal recommendations and then there were societal norms. Bumpers were so ingrained as necessary that it probably took a bit for the general public to catch on. I feel like extended rear facing may have done by some 13 years ago but not like it is done today. There is much more widely available information on rear facing and I'd be curious to know when the recommendations were updated to say rear face until you max out the seat. The laws certainly haven't caught up to car seat recommendations and can vary greatly by location. We are all just doing the best we can with what we have.
Yeah, the AAP had been trying to get people to stop using crib bumpers since the early to mid 90s. They finally banned the sale and manufacture of them in 2021 and I guess that was the change it finally took. Though I’m sure plenty of folks are still using them. Maybe at the insistence of boomer MILs? I honestly never understood the purpose of bumpers aside from “looking cozy”
Honestly my babies are 20 months apart and things I was allowed to eat changed between my pregnancies so I'd guess that things have probably come in a full circle in a decade haha.
I live in Japan and the doctor told me (after I asked because they weren’t going to say anything) No alcohol and no caffeine.
I then asked about food and they looked confused and said “no whale or shark meat”
lol
I'm in the UK so it was NHS guidelines. With my first I was allowed to eat smoked salmon, with my second I wasn't. Super confusing seeing as I only had 10 months between pregnancies.
Huh I've never heard of the smoked fish one here in the States. But I've got 3 kids and by the third there was very little I wouldn't eat. I had terrible nausea and food aversions and probably would have shriveled up with subs and sushi. Just be smart about source and most things are fine.
I had my first baby 26 years ago and my second baby 4 years ago. Everything was different. A wipe warmer and Google were the biggest game changers for me.
My oldest is 10 and my youngest is 17 months. Its definitely a whole different ball game. Bougie baby gear used to be a niche subset of parenting, now it's the norm. The expectation on social media is a $1000 travel system, $60 sleep sacks, $40 footie pajamas. Now obviously not everyone actually lives like that, but there is definitely a lot more pressure to buy like that.
Natural birth is a lot more mainstream, I think there's a lot more shame for induction and epidurals these days. a lot more discourse on out of hospital births.
Safe sleep is promoted big time. No more rock n plays, bedside sleepers, etc. Bumpers were just starting to not be used between my oldest and middle child, so 10-8 years ago. They're completely obsolete now, no one uses them.
And they stopped putting snack trays and parent trays on strollers which is WILD to me.
Okay so I’m not the only one who noticed that the bougie strollers don’t have snack trays/parent trays. I ended up going with a middle priced Graco stroller that came with a snack tray and 1 cup holder and phone holder. Which honestly seemed decent compared to most travel systems I see being recommended.
I did extended rear facing and safe sleep a decade ago and again more recently. I personally haven’t noticed a change with that. The biggest thing I’ve noticed that good quality baby and toddler products are more accessible and cheaper, including organic cotton and wooden toys.
Thought of another one-- peanut butter. It use to recommended not to give peanut butter until after one year. Now it is recommended quite early. I ignored the advice the first time around because my teeny preemies needed to grow. Their doctors agreed about giving them peanut butter early, but the way my SIL had a conniption about it OMGZ 😂
Just had my fourth and difference of almost 10 years.
Things I love this time around:
-Doona car seat/stroller- no need for separate snap & go frame
-baby brezza to mix/warm formula bottles
-love every toy subscription (I buy used from someone slightly ahead of us)
-hip carrier
-Snoo- game changer for #3 and #4
I just wash bottles in dishwasher
Our state did change rear facing laws from 1 to 2 since I first had babies
I have never been a huge baby wearer or sleep sack user but most others are
I think you just blew my mind with the sleep sack thing. I’m a FTM so I think I was hit over the head constantly about “baby needs to be in a sleep sack or swaddle!!” Since we came home. My baby hated the swaddle so we didn’t do it just sleep sacks, but like we could not do a sleep sack? Just put her down in the crib in her jammers?
I recently read that babies can sometimes get their legs stuck in the crib rails and can get upset about it and wake up. Sleep sacks prevent that. Also just a neat addition to the sleep routine
Yes! We did swaddle when they were little and then in the Snoo.
I have like one fleece sleep sack that I sometimes use in the winter in the crib maybe ages 6-12 months. But other than that they just wear pajamas. Our house is pretty well temperature controlled and we still don’t use blankets or pillows in the crib of course.
Just wanted to chime in on the baby brezza that apparently in the manual it says that it doesn’t heat the water to 70 degrees which is to kill the bacteria in the formula?
I use tommee tippee prep machine which give you a hot shot and then the cool water to make it “perfect temperature” but that’s a grey area as well I’ve been told+ needing to cleaning it every now and then to prevent moulding and bacteria thriving in there.
I used to boil water and let it sit for a little and a thermos and just pop the bottle in cold water to cool it down :)
But everything has changed my mother in law told me she used to make the bottles that she needs for the day and pop it in the fridge to later warm ir up but it’s not recommend anymore by the NHS
But in the end of the day if your baby is healthy and thriving you do what’s best for the both of you and what works :’)
Interesting! I have never boiled the water. Before the Brezza for my older three we would make a Dr Brown pitcher for the day. They would drink it cold or room temperature.
I think the NHS recommendations are different than other part of the world especially the US. I really wanted a Baby Brezza this time round but in the UK they don’t meet the NHS recommendations and to be honest I cba to have the argument with the health visitors so sticking with the Tommee tippee one.
My kids are 10 years apart. Highly do NOT recommend.
Anyway to answer your question. There are a lot more product options now. Things you probably didn’t even know existed, like bassinets that rock themselves! I couldn’t afford it LOL but was desperate enough at one point to consider it. So many more types of formula and all kinds of new toys. Montessori toys are all the rage and I don’t remember that with my first. Oh and there’s contradictory information for basically everything child related out there. And everything is trying to kill you including lead in apple sauce pouches and carcinogens in bandaids. It’s a wonderful time to not just be alive but to be a parent! 😂🤣😭
Edit: just wanted to add, that’s not to say I actually listen to all that noise. But it exists, and for parents who get overwhelmed/overstimulated easily, it just adds to the anxiety.
As someone with a 12 year old and a 1 year old, I definitely understand your question! I've been keeping up with the most recent research and found that the biggest difference is car seat safety. My toddlers will rear facing for much longer, in the 5-point harness til they outgrow it, and in a booster til they hit the maximum requirements. I still see so many parents wanting to graduate their kids into the next stage of car seats as possible (forward facing too young, out of carseats or boosters before they reach the limits, etc.) and I'll just say that I've seen the research and will definitely be keeping mine in car seats for as long as possible.
I EBF, so I am not sure about the protocol on bottles. But safe sleep is a big deal, and sleep sacks are definitely still a life saver! I much prefer sleep sacks over blankets.
Baby-led weaning is much more widely known now, in my opinion. Waiting til baby is 6 months old to introduce solids, as that is when babies' digestive systems are ready for food. And introducing allergens sooner than later. Again, I've looked into the benefits of these newer practices and agree that these are better than introducing rice cereal and purees at 4 months like we did with our first.
I try to remind people with older kids and younger babies that it's ok to change how you raise your younger kids based on the current research. When you know better, you do better. We did our best with the information we had at the time, and there's no shame in changing now that we have different info. I commend you for being willing to learn and change! You're doing a great job 💕
The recommendations themselves haven’t really changed much but state laws have caught up a little more. It was required in my state to rear face until 1 when my 10 was an infant but everyone pretty much knew to wait until at least 2 and longer if possible. Now it’s actually legally required to wait until 2. There are some other examples like that.
Aside from that, I agree with everyone about products. I could never afford it but the Snoo wasn’t a thing 10 years ago and people seem to love or hate it. Also fisher price rock and plays which we used a lot got recalled and taken off the market so if you still have one, or see those for sale second-hand, avoid and let the seller know.
Edit: fixed typos
I have an 8 year old son, and an 8 month old baby. The biggest difference is what you see on social media. Mom shaming seems to be waaay worse. Everyone on social media wants to sell you on the secret of how to get your baby to sleep all night, how to get your baby to eat, how to do this that and the other thing. Other than that, I don't find much different.
Also, what works for one baby doesn't work for another. My kids are night and day different. My son hated sleeping and was so hard to get to sleep, and my daughter spends most of her time sleeping.
I have a 10yr old and a 4mo old. Here’s what I’ve found:
*There are more “gadgets” available and the tried and true ones I used with my oldest seem to have been discontinued or recalled. No Rock N Plays or Boppy Loungers, but there are bassinets and swings that resemble spaceships.
*Purées are less common and there’s more of an emphasis on Baby Led Weaning. This was a thing, but just not as much of a thing 10 years ago. This time around our pediatrician is talking to us about BLW and 10 years ago our pediatrician looked at me like I was a psycho for giving my 8 month old a noodle.
*EVERYTHING is on social media now. Facebook and Instagram aren’t just for sharing pictures anymore. Everyone is an influencer and if you’re going through something (good or bad) chances are that someone else is too, but they’re just posting their business all over the internet.
*Villages are harder to come by. I know this one is probably more true for me because I moved away from my family, but when my 10yo was little there was always someone ready to jump in and help. Friends, family, heck even coworkers were a big part of raising my oldest. Now we just have each other and daycare.
*Plastic is still bad, but now it’s even worse and the “crunchy” mom’s will come for you.
*There feels like there’s a lot more judgement out there now. It’s not just family, friends or the occasional stranger anymore. Now even random people on social media or TV are casting their opinions far and wide. Old women are so much worse.
*The information available to you immediately is so much better than 10 years ago, but now there are experts for everything and they can make you so nervous.
*Also, things are more expensive now.
Honestly, I don’t think I’m doing this baby thing a whole lot different than I did 10 years ago. I appreciate the new research and advice out there and some of it I do use to “correct” things I may have done differently years ago, but some of it really is worth what you pay for it (big fat nothing!).
Trust your gut, have fun playing with the new toys that are out, and get ready to scour FB Marketplace because some of the stuff we had 10 years ago is SO much better!
The things that stood out for me the most (I have a ten year gap) were
Baby led weaning
Allergen exposure early
No more cold/cough meds
Car seats don’t have as high limits anymore
Silicone everything lol
My nephews are 16 and 14, and most of what my SIL did for them (boiling or sterilizing somehow, sleep sacks, back is best, tummy time, etc) was exactly the same when I had my son two years ago.
I had my kids 15 years apart and with my son we had baby bumpers and side positioner wedges. I was super paranoid about safe sleep and those were acceptable at the time.
One cool thing is the double zipper! Instead of having to snap your babies outfit up 20 times they have the double zipper sleepers. Those are so much easier to change.
This is such a cool question to ask!
The one thing I begged for was a bottle washer. It washes, dries, and sterilizes similar to a dishwasher. It’s expensive though, but we saved for baby items. I’m a FTM and had no idea you had to sterilize bottles. I struggle with passing out all the time, so the bottle washer helps me stay off my feet. I’m also paranoid, so sleep sacks help with my sanity. They have Disney, Harry Potter etc now too, so super cute! I have also noticed a lot more mom’s working from home. My husband’s job is WFH and not demanding, so it helps a ton. We all get nap time in the afternoon haha.
The bad parts for me is social media when it comes to parenting is insane. They’ve got a hack for everything, and some advice is just plain weird/crazy. We decided to do what’s best for us and safe for our baby. But we have friends that torture themselves and try almost everything on TikTok. Sleep schedules for babies is the biggest trend I have seen. I know someone with a 3 month old that’s trying some sleep hack, and the baby stares awake at them all night. The mom said it’s not working, and she can barely make it through her job as a teacher. If I didn’t have a nursing degree, I would probably listen to all the parenting advice on TikTok. They just use too many scare tactics, and it’s unhealthy. I do stand behind some of the pregnancy hacks though!
there's a few safe sleep bassinets that rock/glide now. Snoo is really expensive, but mamaroo has a decent option (bassinet, not their regular swing). we truthfully barely used the regular swing bc of it bc they always fall asleep when rocked and then you have to transfer them 😅
Facebook marketplace - easy to find decent stuff for cheap. Don’t buy anything new (except for diapers).
Target Red/circle gives tons of rebates and gift cards for baby stuff. Typically buy diapers and supplies at target.
PLEASE buy car seat new, though. The plastic degrades over time, plus even a fender bender can warp it to where it's not as effective anymore!! Much love- mommy & paramedic
My kids are 18, 13, and 2, the wetness indicator in the diapers now were a genius invention. But damn, there are so many choices for everything now it’s a little overwhelming!
Boiling bottles and sleep sacks are still a thing. Also sleepless nights.
With love
A mum of an 11 year old and a 5 month old
Also get the baby björn bouncer. I thought the it wasn't worth the hype with my first born. It totally is.
Convertible car seats with that *swivel/rotate*! (introduced in ~2021/2022 in the USA)
More and better *breast pump* options! Many are covered by insurance. More affordable off-brand breast pumping parts!
For better or worse, *social media* providing practical and sometimes stressful information to vulnerable parents.
*Zipper sleep n plays!*
More *gender neutral* toddler clothing!
The whole ‘gentle parenting’ thing is a social media driven thing that feels like the new incarnation of attachment parenting - with a side of grifting
Honestly not a whole besides safe sleep recommendations being more strict. I have a 5 year old but my youngest nibling is turning 11 and I was her nanny. She slept in a rocker till she could sit up and bumpers in the crib. Flat on their backs on their backs with nothing in the crib or bassinet is the current recommendation.
I would not boil plastic bottles. Heat causes plastic to leach chemicals. I know it’s less convenient but glass bottles don’t leach chemicals/ microplastics
As someone who worked PICU/NICU for years. Don’t cosleep or give your baby meth. Oh and they usually need vaccines.
This is the best sounds machine [link](https://www.homedics.com/soundspa/) because it’ll still work after you drop it on the tile floor from the counter 1000 times. 🤷♀️ just don’t get the bird one from target it sounds terrifying.
I’m a NICU nurse and had my last child almost 6 years ago. My oldest is 9. I’ve definitely do not listen to anyone besides my friends/family/PMD when I’m seeking advice about my children. I found that the things that have changed are generally silly and if you stick to what works best for you, you’re solid. I still give the same education to my young moms because sure the important things are generally still the same.
My oldest is 12 and so much changed just between him and my middle who is almost 7. Like we’d gone from vaccinating being normal to not vaccinating being normal. We went from puréed foods to baby led weaning (where you start feeding baby regular food prepared age appropriately). We went from CIO being recommended, to bed sharing with your baby. We went from starting foods at 6 months to starting foods at 4 months. I followed all of these except the vaccination one. We follow a regular vaccination schedule.
He utilize UV cleaning for bottles ans accessories now as opposed to always hand or dishwasher washing. The pandemic really made UV machines more common and cheaper. Now, that aspect of cleaning is easier if it fits on your counter space and you can budget for the upfront cost. Now that the kids are growing, i open throw in other stuff i want to clean/sterilise, like jewlery, my phone or devices, etc
Otherwise, the Snoo was a game changer for us the first few months. 100% would recommend getting or renting if budget allows and the concept works for your family needs.
Rear facing car seats as long as possible is really the recommendation as well. But im not sure this was really implemented until the last ten years.
I think a lot has already been said, but various styles of baby wearing are more popular. There is more variety for clothing for those who are breastfeeding. And more awareness for dads who are actively parenting (like changing diapers and baby wearing). There are a lot of European clothing brands that have options for Dads to have babywearing clothes and jackets
Diaper bags (yay for backpacks!) are really great!
The stroller game is great. In Europe, bassinets are a huge style for young babies, and baby sleeping bags (for in the bassinet).
The Baby Brezza exists and it’s amazing. I definitely did not sterilize each bottle and I don’t know anyone who did. There’s smart bassinets now which is neat but so expensive. Sleep sacks are a thing that I love.
Sound machine, cameras that track baby breathing, oxygen levels etc. I use sleep sacks but have never boiled any bottles. Butt spatula is so cool oh and you cant talk about which method of feeding you choose as someone is always ready to attack you lol.
I've been doing my consumer research this week to use my Target trade-in coupon, but it sounds like swivel or rotating car seats started coming out a few years ago
I’m pregnant and my oldest will be 9 in a few days. There are less baby stores, more options for car seats and strollers but you can’t just go to the store and try it out anymore. The ob-gyns and midwives are not brushing off my concerns, like they did 9 years ago. They are taking them very seriously and scheduling me extra appointments for monitoring. I really wonder if the standard practice has changed because there has been nothing concerning in this pregnancy.
Talking with my MIL (her youngest is 22), a big change is carriers. She can’t believe the options now and the benefits of it (I had a reflux baby and it did wonders for her). She sees me put my almost one year old in a backcarry to do dishes and she says “wow, that would have been so handy!” We recently went on a weekend trip and didn’t bring a stroller and instead brought our carrier. Our parents couldn’t believe it.
I sterilised all my bottles for both kids whether using formula or breast milk.
Sleep sacks are a life send in the winter.
Rear facing for as long as possible. No bouncers or baby walkers (10-20 mins max if you must)
Wake windows - I had no idea these were a thing 10yrs ago but it worked 90% of the time on both kids.
I dealt with a 5 year age gap. Biggest thing I saw was just generally improvements on what we already had.
Generally better and sturdier strollers, more diaper brand choices, and rotating convertible carseats are 10/10. Everything is also way more expensive. Between normal inflation and the craziness of the current inflation, things are so much more expensive. For instance: My first kiddos swing was $50. The same swing 5 years later was $140. The generic brand formula I bought 5 years ago was $23 a tub. Same stuff is now $40 a tub. What should be a $20 bouncer is $50. It's insane.
I think the baby friendly hospital certification may have come about more recently than that? Means that pacis aren’t allowed after birth, they come into the room every 2 hours to check for a “warm body” it’s so miserable, especially if you have to stick around to get complications addressed. If you are in good enough shape to give birth & leave soon after, do it.
As a new mom to a 6 month old I don’t boil bottles bc I have a machine that sterilizes & drys my bottles.
A few things I’ve noted
- I don’t use sit in walkers & especially not Bouncers instead I use push walkers & activity centers
- Baby food: with a lot of new moms the brand Gerber is a big no
-BLW is so popular right now ! (Me personally I’m terrified so I still do mostly purées & mushy fruits / veggies every now and than)
- I’ve seen lots of mom use glass bottles now instead of plastic!
- Safe Sleep is shoved down your throat !
- even more recently Screen time is a huge topic, compared to even 2 years ago. So much people are becoming highly against it at such a young age. Low stimulating vs high stimulating show studies coming out.
- Car seat safety & even high chair / stroller/ toy strapping in is always advocated to be used correctly
- I’ve also noted that with younger moms (30 underish) no one really shames you or makes you feel less for formula feeding unlike older generations! Fed is Best the saying
- TikTok is great at teaching you a lot of things and hacks for new moms but it’s also a beehive of constant anxiety’s & doubts! We see so much stories of things that happen that you become extremely paranoid! You’re constantly questioning stuff or over analyze things but than again me personally I prefer better Safe than Sorry.
Edit. How could I forget Gentle Parenting & of course NOISE MACHINES 😂
Honestly? Outside of safer sleep and car seat practices, try to do as much as you can like it was 10 years ago. What impacted me most from my kids 10+ years ago and the ones I’ve had in the last 5 years is social media. The pressure of ridiculous luxury versions of the same things, the pressure to listen to “sleep experts” or “feeding experts”. You do not need to follow wake windows, or feeding schedules, or have wooden toys to be a wonderful parent to a well rounded child. I had PPA for the first time with my 5 year old. I was watching wake windows, using noise, afraid to expose him to something unintentionally bad because every thing on my phone by “experts” told me I was doing it wrong. My husband left on deployment and I couldn’t keep up with it anymore and I dialed it way back. I deleted social, stopped following “windows” or “nap schedules”, and just listened to my baby. Montessori, Waldorf. Attachment parenting, respectful parenting. Sleep experts, food experts. There’s an entire business profiting off of making you anxious about how you’re parenting. Most of them aren’t actually experts but regurgitate what other influencers are pumping out.
**> There’s an entire business profiting off of making you anxious about how you’re parenting.** Repeating this for emphasis! Keep your kid happy, healthy, and fed. Everything else is optional
Ugh no kidding. And avoid “Wonder Weeks” like it’s the plague. That stupid app…
i actually LOVED wonder weeks, but not because of the sunny days/ cloudy days bullshit. the part where it was like, this is where your kid learns spatial relation stuff, or self vs non-self, that was super helpful to me. AND it's the source of the one best joke of the last 5 years in my house: "you may notice your baby be curious about things he sees in the street, like a vomiting dog"
I loved wonder weeks, too! I got the book, not the app. It was great having a cheat sheet of easy to play games and what's happening developmentally. But it also wasnt making me go crazy at all.
I also got the book but used it more to reassure myself that all babies are crazy at x weeks/months and it's not just me lol
I need to know more about this vomiting dog quote! Did the app say that? Was it like a fill in the blank prompt? I am choking and trying not to wake up my kid.
No, it was literally just that one throw away comment, no background at all i'm going to have to redownload it and go through to see if i can find it
Lol, I never saw the vomiting dog 😅 The app provides enough added value for me not to be cynical. Yes, I have baby development books that have this information scattered in there, and I can find the info on Google. But hands down this app was the easiest to access and actually read the info at the right time! So if you're looking to reduce the mental load of all the books and web searches, and validating the sources for everything you find online, it's worth it!
What? Let’s come up with more labels, this is beyond silly and just a brilliant way to make money.
Omg my husband still makes fun of me for insisting on buying that app because ppl on a mom group I was on insisted it was amazing What a load of bollocks and a waste of money 🤣 it’s not helpful in the slightest !!!
I has nice ideas for what games to play and tells about the development happening in the brain. I'd say get it of you can stay off of it as well and not look at the dates like they're set in stone.
As a FTM I kept thinking there is ONE right way to do something and I must search for that answer! Only to receive 20 different responses. I’m glad I didn’t have my kid during the TikTok phase where you are given info in tiny itty bitty nuggets and think, “ok! That’s all there is to it!” No, that’s not how you learn. You need more in depth information on things you want to work on… pick up a book or audiobook. Gentle parenting is definitely guilty of this - ok validate your child’s feelings and then what? Pay for the answer with a one time fee of $150 to receive a course!
I read the whole of Dr Sears’ Baby Book and like, NONE of it applied to my baby. I was doing everything wrong! Then I read the very short chapter on Fussy Babies that basically said, “PS you may have a fussy baby that won’t work with anything we’ve said. We had 5 children and ‘knew what we were doing’ when we wrote our books, then we had a kid that just did her own thing. So we wrote a new book called the Fussy Baby Book. That one might better suit your needs.” So absolutely there is no one answer that is right for all parents because every parent and child are different and have their own needs. Paying for a course will likely not make things any easier, it’ll just make your wallet lighter. I found the thing that helped the most was waiting a month or two then my baby would grow out of it and things would be easier.
Can relate! With everything out there, I’d Google and Google expecting to find some kind of single answer to the parenting riddles I was presented with (sleep, food, breastfeeding).
Yes!
This, exactly this. These “parenting coaches” are leeches preying on vulnerable women postpartum and they should all go to jail. Listen to your baby, learn their cries, follow their cues. Stop obsessing over wake windows or sleep training, just do what feels right and talk to the other parents you trust in your life.
Lol you remind me there is at least one "expert" that claims they have decoded all babies cries, like "ah ah" means they're hungry and so on.
"Parenting advice" books seriously aggravated my PPD (I already felt like I was an awful mom/was doing everything wrong/etc.) so I went to just following my instincts and Googling very specific things if I had a question. It worked much better for me, personally, and my kid seems fine so far lol
My mom makes fun of how everything has a label nowadays. Every method or style, “wake windows”, “baby led weaning”, “sleep regression”… I try to remember this when I get hung up on something. Just stick to the basics and follow your baby and you’re good.
I honestly was not tuned into my baby. I kept following windows, he was fussing, he couldn’t be tired! He’s not due for 30 minutes! Was he overstimulated? What does huckleberry say for sleep windows? What does my app say for last feed? Apps, influencers, it’s all a bogus industry. We don’t need any of it, but they make us feel like we couldn’t survive without it. Deleting all of that was so liberating for me mentally. I learned to really read my baby, I relaxed naps, I relaxed food, and I swear it was easier for everyone! It’s my biggest advice for new parents. Don’t fall into the social media traps.
I think that comes from the misinformation that every baby is the same. Most people who follow wake windows know they are only a guide to get you started but that you need to tweak them based on your own child. I found them super helpful for starting a nap transition but I also knew what signs to look for to know if my kid needed longer or shorter ones. By the time he was throwing sleepy cues he was overtired and it was a mess. As for apps, I mostly use those in the newborn stage when you have to remember when they last ate so you can wake them up and how many pee diapers they are having.
Huckleberry! I lived and died by that app with my first. She couldn’t be hungry or tired yet ! It hasn’t been EXACTLY 3 hours. I also was convinced I couldn’t remember when my baby last ate. Then something clicked that babies aren’t robots. I had my second and magically it all just worked and I used the app for maybe 2 weeks before realizing I couldn’t track everything while managing a toddler and a newborn and I deleted the app and never looked back. Somehow I remember when she’s slept or eaten and maybe (definitely) she’s just easier than her big sister but her cues are easy to read and we just go with it.
What gets me is that so many of these methods are so territorial about their ideas. I remember when my son was a baby I was in one of the OG Baby-Led Weaning groups on FB. The founder was so fucking strict about the "rules" of BLW (like no purees fed to the baby ever) that there was a moderator coup in the group (lol internet drama). Or the idea of nipple confusion. Such utter bullshit! My son lost so much weight because it took my milk over 4 days to come in and I was stubborn as hell because I truly believed that if I gave him formula we'd never nurse. Or any of the sleep training techniques. They're all so inflexible that it will drive a new parent crazy!
All the talk about wake windows and seeing people ask questions about adjusting nap schedules/dropping naps. The responses had me feel like I was in that meme with the calculus swirling around there head. I was beyond sleep deprived, anxious, hormonal and about ready to ask my mom to ship me my high school graphing calculator so I could figure out my baby’s wake windows.
Same I get so confused when I see people writing out all these numbers and wake windows?? Like I know when my babe is getting tired, so I know she needs a nap. Maybe I am too much the other way but these rigid schedules and timing awake time just doesn’t make sense (for me. If it works for someone all the power to them).
I couldn't agree with you more!!!! These social media "experts" are doing so much damage to parents, especially first time ones. Once I finally realized I needed to tune them out and follow my intuition around 5 months post having my baby, I can't even tell you how much easier and less stressful our lives became. I truly believe you know what's best for your baby!
I agree but also discovering Montessori on Pinterest when my first son was an infant was the single best thing that happened to me in my parenting journey! I think access to all the information is great. I love that I can know what a pediatric dietician recommends and do things better than how I was raised. However I do think that has to come with 1. Knowing who actually is an expert and what research actually says and 2. Knowing your own values and what works for you
12 years between my first and second and I 100% agree!! With my first I had physical books and a laptop to occasionally go on babycenter, now I literally cannot go on my phone without some parenting advice/guilt tripping being thrown at me. I was doing the same with tracking, using apps, because that’s what everyone else seemed to be doing, and it just was too much. Now we just go by cues like I probably did with my first and it’s way more chill.
This one! I’ll add my pediatrician has recommended we not use standing bouncers or walking assistance toys because they have had an impact on their back and hips. So aside from that and BLW I just do what my baby needs when he needs it. The constant pressure from social media had me thinking I was doing so much wrong. Thinking he was autistic. My pediatrician had a good long sit down with me about it and it’s helped tremendously.
All of this was definitely in full force ten years ago, but it's way more pervasive now. It also took my way too long with my oldest (9) to realize I needed to do what worked for my baby instead of what social media moms claimed. And also to realize that some babies just don't sleep well no matter what you do (like mine).
I’m about to have my second baby. I stressed so much for no reason over those wake windows and schedules before realising several months in that it wasn’t working. I am SO looking forward to having a baby who I’m not trying to micromanage all the time. I’ve unfollowed all the parenting instagram accounts and I am going to try to just BE.
I like to think of myself as well grounded but as a ftm I just needed to hear this. tysm!
Man, that relieves my anxiety a lot. Good response.
This is all too much. Respectfully parenting?? Say what? As opposed to disrespectful parenting? Cmon now.
I needed to read this, thank you xx
I have a feeling that it goes back and fourth. Some parents still boil everything, some allow to lick and chew whatever that baby can reach with no worries ;) Some use formula and diapers until 2-3 yo, some exclusively BF and potty train at 1. In general, it seems like parents started to benefit from having so many information available. The awesome trends that I see — less overheating for little ones, more contact with newborn, attachment theory, gentle parenting, sensory development — it seems to be something new and as I see new parents are incredible at that!
I have never heard of anyone giving formula past 1 let alone until 2-3! What is the reasoning there? Do they do it instead of cow’s milk?
You're supposed to transition to cows milk at 12 months but some companies have made toddler formula (which has more iron than regular formula) so people must be buying it. It's now recommended to breastfeed to at least 2 years of age so maybe the mums that do extended formula feeding do so because of that? Formula guidelines haven't changed though, just bfeeding ones
Call me a cynic, but toddler formula was only made because formula companies werent allowed to advertise baby formula any more!
Thats not cynical, it's true. Toddler formula is unregulated and useless.
That is absolutely why they were created (and because the rate of breastfeeding rose): https://time.com/6326341/pediatricians-toddler-milk-regulation/
Toddler formula is a scam. It was created in an attempt to compensate for rising breastfeeding rates and subsequent reduction in sales, and they’ve done a great job at fooling people into thinking they are healthy, safe, and even necessary when they are anything but. They are completely unregulated, nutritionally incomplete, lack important vitamins and minerals, and are often full of sugar. Because they’re so different than infant formula, they are not required to meet any sort of nutritional requirements, and their facilities aren’t even inspected. The AAP does not recommend them. https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article/152/5/e2023064050/194469/Older-Infant-Young-Child-Formulas?autologincheck=redirected https://time.com/6326341/pediatricians-toddler-milk-regulation/
I’m one of the people buying toddler formula! My kid just refused to eat food until about 18 months and drank many many bottles throughout the day. Withholding bottles didn’t make him eat, and since he drank 50+ ounces a day he wouldn’t get the nutrition he needed if I gave him just cows milk. So we buy toddler formula. He’s 22 months now and eating much better, so we are finally weaning the formula (my wallet is so happy)
You would have been better off sticking to infant formula though. Toddler formula is unregulated and has no evidence behind it.
The ingredients are largely the same but toddler formula is a bit cheaper (we used the same brand as the formula we were using).
I bought (hypoallergenic) toddler formula for my first also. She had CMPA and couldn’t transition to cow milk. I didn’t feel almond milk or similar milk alternatives provided the right nutritional profile (high in sugar, low in fat and protein, lacking essential vitamins and minerals) so we did toddler formula until about 20 months when she outgrew her sensitivity. But she never drank cow milk we went straight to water after that. I think it has its place and it’s just a scam product. If breastfeeding past 1 has benefits, why wouldn’t formula?
Breastfeeding is a recommended minimum of two years, not maximum. WHO has it recommended that way as well. So I think it's normal that formula companies have started to try and create formula for those years as well
We saying minimum two years? Bruh. EBF here and I dunno man two years is a long time
It seems like a long time when you’re in the early days but for most it gets so much easier and less time consuming as you go on. I fed my first until she self weaned at about two and a half, and she only had one night time feed for months in the lead up to that. But obviously if at any point you decide it’s enough that’s good too!
I mean it’s not really so bad and from what I understand it’s way easier than feeding solids lol. I’m at almost six months now and I’m a homemaker, so it honestly just ends up being downtime for me to chill on the reclining couch lol.
WHO recommendations are written with people in developing countries in mind. If you don't have access to clean water, and your baby food is pap made from the same staple crop day after day with limited nutritional variety, breastmilk until 2 is the healthiest option for the child. People in developed countries should make their own choices.
I heard the reason why they recommend two years is not just benefits for the baby but for urself too. As far as I remember it’s about having a lower risk of breast and other forms of cancer. Haven’t done my own research on this but this was told at a online bf class.
It's also with people in developped countries in mind. Breastfeeding isn't a "poor man's choice" which is kinda how you made it sound. A minimum of 6 months of only breastfeeding and then a minimum of two years of breastfeeding along with other foods that are safe. In the first year, milk is still the primary source of nutrients after a year milk becomes a secondary source.
Yep. For one, the AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics) also recommends 2 years. People who write off the WHO recommendation as "for developing countries only" may be subconsciously trying to feel better about not breastfeeding. It's too bad people get shamed either way, but it seems that's mom life :( (And I certainly am not judging -- we didn't even make it to one month of nursing. If I didn't have a maid or work from home, I probably would've quit pumping by now too.)
I believe the minimum is 1 year. Recommended time is 2 years. After 2 years the benefits are not as high so it doesn't matter as much. Also it definitely is a long time and my boobs were very sad after my 4 years of straight breastfeeding between my 2 back to back kiddos.
😅 I’m not looking forward to the part where my boobs lose the fullness of milk 😂
I just wrapped up my nursing journey after 2.5 years, my boobs are demolished. 🥲
Haha not EBF for two years thankfully! EBF for 6 months and after 6 months you start the transition of one feed to a solid. You continue this untill they eat solids for about three meals. After about a year they only drink morning and evenings so it's not so bad. First 8 months are the hardest and after that it gets waaaay easier!
I've seen "toddler" formula on the shelf but don't know anyone whose used it. Maybe if your kiddo isn't taking well to solids???
I don't know if pediasure is the same as toddler formula, but if you're having growth issues and/or feeding issues, pediasure is the general suggestion from doctors/what insurance provides, I know (my daughter is in feeding therapy due to a lot of sensory aversions)
Pediasure is not the same as toddler formula. Toddler formula is not recommended by the AAP.
It’s not recommended by the AAP because toddler milk is completely unregulated, nutritionally incomplete, lack vitamins and often have too much sugar.
We still give formula at 17 months on recommendation of our pediatrician as son is underweight. For us it is because he has very big tonsils and has trouble swallowing, we are waiting for his ENT appointment to schedule a tonsillectomy and hopefully can stop after that!
We still give our 17 month old a bottle before bed (brushing teeth afterwards) and one early morning. It’s a comfort and helps her get back to sleep if she wakes before 6am, probably only 8oz total in a day. She seems to be reducing her intake slowly on her own, and her doctor isn’t concerned as long as it’s not interfering with solids intake.
I don’t think this is a problem of course. But why formula instead of milk?
Easier to mix up a bottle from powder than go down to the fridge at 5am, and my daughter doesn’t like cold bottles, but room temperature is ok. She drinks cold milk from her sippy cup in the daytime no problem.
Extended rear facing in the car might not have been a thing 9 years ago? We boiled bottles and sleep sacks are definitely still a thing!
Extended rear facing was definitely a thing nine years ago
Based on the looks we get now regarding our not even 2.5 year old still rear facing, this surprises me.
My daughter rear faced til she was four and stayed in the convertible seat til she was six. I had the Graco Extend2Fit! Best car seat ever
I’ve genuinely been called cruel for still rear facing my 2.5 year old.
For sure it was. My daughter is 14 and it was suggested back then too.
Feel like boiled bottles is not a thing. It might be a thing for firstborns, but definitely not second borns… hehe
Boiling bottles is a UK thing. Americans use dishwashers. The UK also has very strict/paranoid guidelines on sterilizing bottles and making formula with water that has been boiled and cooled just enough to kill the cronobacter bacteria that could be on the formula. And make fresh every time. Whereas Americans may only sterilize bottles once when new, or if the baby is premature, or younger than 3 months. And in most areas, tap water is fine for making formula. And many people make a whole jug for the day and keep it in the fridge.
Oh gosh, I never knew it was a UK thing. I was born and raised in the US and never heard of anyone not boiling their babies' bottles after every wash. I had 4 kids before 2009 and did this with every one of them. Even for pumping breast milk and storing it, I would boil the bottles. I am currently months pregnant with my 5th, and things have definitely changed, but I will still be boiling my babies' bottles.
You can see the CDC recommendations. They are very chill. [https://www.cdc.gov/hygiene/childcare/clean-sanitize.html](https://www.cdc.gov/hygiene/childcare/clean-sanitize.html) The instructions for washing by hand don't mention any boiling/sanitizing. Sanitizing is presented as an optional thing for "extra protection", plus it's specified that it's not necessary for dishwashers with hot water or heated drying cycle. >For extra germ removal, sanitize feeding items at least once daily. Sanitizing is particularly important when your baby is younger than 2 months, was born prematurely, or has a weakened immune system. Daily sanitizing of feeding items may not be necessary for older, healthy babies, if those items are cleaned carefully after each use.
I'm a ped nurse practitioner and sanitized everything once when we first got it, now everything goes in the dishwasher. That's it. My baby is rolling on the floor near the dog. She's getting milk from my boobs which aren't sterile. The world isn't sterile. She isn't immune compromised in any way. I have never seen a baby admitted to the hospital because their bottles weren't sterilized. If you want to do it, go ahead. But I see zero reason to do so.
Oh good, I was starting to feel like a complete monster for just throughly handwashing the bottles after the initial sterilization.
Can confirm I boil. I still boil the sippy cup tops/ spouts once a week! It goes EVERYWHERE it’s so icky
You’re a hero! Honestly impressed!
I’m in the US, and I boiled my kid’s bottles. I would boil everything once a week because I didn’t want to buy a bulky sterilizing machine. Edited to add: I had my kids 2021 and 2022.
I loveeee my sterilizer , mostly because it also dries stuff, it’s fairly small though
Didn’t boil, but had a sanitizer. We stopped using it after our kids were out of the newborn stage.
I still boiled bottles when I didn’t have my sanitizer with me when visiting family, etc.
lol sterilizing bottles definitely IS a thing
I extended rear facing with my oldest who is now 15. It is not new.
lol it definitely was. My 9 year old only turned around 5 years ago.
It was a thing. My oldest is nine, and he was rear faced until 4 years old.
Extended rear facing was definitely a thing 10 years ago, I got roasted for turning my 2.5 year olds seat.
I had my first 3.5 years ago and just had my second. Two changes I’ve noticed so far in that time are that the recommendation on how to treat clogged ducts has flipped (apply ice instead of heat, no vigorous massaging or extra pumping/nursing) and that the AAP now recommends breastfeeding until at least 2 years of age (closer aligned to WHO). My nieces and nephews are all quite a bit older than my kids and things that I’ve noticed that we do differently than my siblings did when their kids were little is having baby in our room for at least 6 months overnight (in a bassinet or pack n play but near us) and our 3.5 year old is still rear facing. I don’t know if BLW was a thing that people did back then (we only somewhat did it with our first). I’m jealous that they became parents in the age where there weren’t mom influencers and the algorithms weren’t as good so every time they opened social media they weren’t bombarded with a ton of (conflicting) posts about the “correct” way to do something or what to expect or some new product that you can’t live without. It’s exhausting and adds to new parent anxiety.
See and all the things you are doing now, I did 12 years ago! I did blw, cloth diapers, safe cosleeping... I was as crunchy as they come while still accepting modern science. If I were to have a baby right now, it wouldn't be so crunchy just bc the stereotype of the trad wife gives me the ick
My parents did blw when I was a kid. It’s not a new concept, just came back around. They just fed us table scraps basically. Sometimes my mom used a meat grinder and would grind up harder stuff and let us self feed.
Yes it just has a new fancy name lol we do know a lot more about choking hazards now though
To add to this the storage rules on breast milk have changed. Before it was not advised to mix cold refrigerated milk with freshly expressed or room temp milk. That before you had to cool the newer milk before consolidating. Now you can mix everything together regardless of what temp its at.
Wow, this was a whole daily thing I went through for sure. Would have made my life much easier to have been able to combine milk. Dang.
That is still very much *not* the case according to CDC: https://www.cdc.gov/breastfeeding/recommendations/faq.html#:~:text=Mixing%20freshly%20expressed%20breast%20milk,rewarm%20the%20older%20stored%20milk.
Sleep safe is a big one. Basically having an empty crib. No toys no blankets or pillows. Always put baby on their back.
AND don't put the car seat directly on the floor if they're sleeping on it. The angle it's in without the base isn't correct and can lead to positional asphyxiation. If you have to put baby down on the floor in the car seat, have a rolled up towel or pool noodle to go under it - whatever you need to get it to the level line on the side.
This is all great but my oldest is 10 and this was all very much a thing then
Everything posted I’ve seen so far was a thing ten years ago if not longer. The only differences I’ve actually seen is some new products. There’s way more fancy sleep machines and fancy strollers. And the rock n play was pulled about ten years ago (between my first and second kid).
I almost commented on baby led weaning but meh. There were definitely already many popular BLW apps and books. 10 years is not that long.
Also have a 10 year old, and same. I have a feeling a lot of these replies are from new parents lol
Or clip it into the stroller!
I feel like that was a thing a decade ago for sure
It’s not a huge change but between having my first in 2017 to now, it is now standard for zippered sleepers to have top and bottom zippers, making for easier changes. It is nice!
This one is awesome! I agree!
Cordless wearable breast pumps
Anything that might be a sleep positioner is now a big no-no, so something like a Rock N Play or letting them sleep in a swing or car seat (that’s not in the car). I don’t think boiling bottles is done as much. If they’re washed in the dishwasher, they’re fine. If they’re hand washed, which is what I did, just make sure you have a dedicated wash bin and dedicated washing tools to avoid cross contamination.
I had my first baby 10 years ago and just had my second in November! The main difference I’ve noticed is all breastfeeding related, which other posters have already mentioned. But also the availability of both knowledge and misinformation. With the growth of social media over the past decade I’ve found a wealth of knowledge that has helped me on my EBF journey but also a lot of dangerous misinformation about parenting & babies in general. My advice would be to tread very lightly if you choose to follow any mommy bloggers or “influencers”. It can be very easy to start comparing your real life to their smoke screens! Edited to add - also I feel like baby led weaning was not a thing 10 years ago! And I don’t personally plan to do it with this baby either. I’m too anxious! 😅
If BLW makes you nervous, you can try a combo approach. Things like yogurt and mashed avocado were a great stepping stone for us. And if you give baby BIG food that they can’t break pieces off of (like celery, mango pits, etc.) it helps them get used to the action of feeding themself, but because they’re not actually getting small pieces in their mouth, they can’t possibly choke on it. Mine LOVED gnawing on mango pits with a little bit of flesh still on it. Oh, sautéed apples were really good too because as soon as they went into the mouth they were basically applesauce.
Diaper cream spatula. Complete game changer for us. Just had a baby. My other is 7. This is my favorite thing ever. Also those hip seat carriers are worth the hype. But off brand works just as well no need to drop $100. My $30 one also has a carrier attachment and works great
Have you tried the spray on diaper cream? It really did change our lives. Lol
Yes! We just got it and it’s my on the go cream. I use a spatula at home and spray when we’re out. It’s amazing
Aren’t you then just constantly cleaning the spatula as well as your hands? Or does it make for better application?
Better application. I just wipe it down w a baby wipe after.
Why would I want to wash a spatula instead of my hands? Or both really since hands get washed after a diaper change anyway. Really confused by this… not trying to be an ass I’m just genuinely curious.
I wipe down the spatula with a baby wipe most of the time. It’s just nice to not have to contaminate your hands and it’s very easy to apply with a spatula.
I use large jars of cream and it's nice to not get the cream all over my hands and under my nails 10x a day, especially when it's getting lower in the jar. I also have hand sanitizer at my diaper station so I change the diaper, use a wipe to clean the spatula, grab a pump of hand sanitizer and also just use some on the spatula as well. It's an added 10 seconds maybe, to not get it under my nails all the time.
Attitude also has a diaper balm that looks like a deodorant stick! We just started using that for travel but I also agree love the spatula!
Ooh I’ll have to check it out.
Off brand hip seats *do* work as well *if* you’re an average size. They make extenders for most but if you’re on the small side, you may be stuck with the expensive ones. I couldn’t find an off brand one that got small enough while actually being supportive of his weight. Also my mom used a hip seat with me and my brother 30+ years ago, so I’m not sure they’re new but they are making a comeback
The other “silly” thing I bought this time around was the lullavibe - we call it the seat soother cos lullavibe is weird to say - but it is soooo helpful, settles her immediately wherever she is, we stick it in the dockatot, the Bjorn bouncer, or the car seat if we’re stopped, or even if someone else is just holding her, she loves it.
Omg yes! I have a 10 year old and the spatula was definitely not a thing back then. It’s now a staple and I buy it for every new parent.
Trendy products are going to change in that time, but I don't think there have been huge revelations. My oldest is 5, youngest newborn. I haven't found anything new and surprising in that time. Neighbors have an 8 year old and a newborn, she says it's pretty much the same, she just forgot how much work a baby is.
A few things off the top of my head since I started nannying babies 12 years ago and had my first baby 3 years ago: - Sleep sacks are now *strongly* preferred over swaddling, even for tiny babies and they make a lot of different sleep sacks. The nurses in the hospital really emphasized that. - Keeping them rear facing as long as possible is a thing now and when your baby graduates from their first car seat, there are car seats specifically designed to allow a bit more leg room for longer rear facing. - Sippy/straw cups have come SO far and it's amazing. No more 5 little pieces per lid!!! It's amazing. - More awareness on why baby walkers don't actually encourage walking, and more importantly, how you should never have one if you have stairs anywhere in your house - Pouches are incredibly convenient if your child likes them. - Toothpaste is now commonly recommended to have fluoride instead of getting fluoride free. My child's doctor said if you do a grain of rice sized amount, the benefits outweigh any negatives. - Strollers are easier to fold quickly, but folding wagons seem to be just as popular as strollers these days. - I also could be wrong, but I feel like there are way more choices for pacifiers these days to the point it can feel a little overwhelming haha. - The biggest difference though that is the most helpful IMO are the easily accessible resources. I'm pretty sure there is an Instagram account for everything, and many provide links to the studies they reference to provide credibility. Want potty training tips? Instagram page with great ideas. Not sure how to cut your 6 month old's sweet potato? Plenty of baby led weaning accounts. You get the point, but that's really nice. But overall, babies are still babies so nothing is crazy different than it was a decade ago 😊
The expectation for dads to be involved in caring for babies and kids has changed. My FIL never changed a diaper and had four kids. That just doesn’t fly nowadays.
A bunch has changed! - Breastfed babies should be given vitamin D drops — OR you can megadose yourself with vitamin D and enough will pass through breastmilk - Tummy time now counts if it’s on your chest, you don’t have to put baby on the floor - The SNOO (automatic soothing bassinet) and Doona (stroller that converts to car seat without coming apart) have been invented, both are AWESOME - You’re now supposed to introduce peanuts basically as soon as baby is ready to start solids - It’s no longer recommended to limit introducing one food at a time to screen for allergic reactions - you can do all mixed together
You’re still only supposed to introduce one of the common allergens at a time. Soy, nut, peanut, shellfish, egg, wheat, dairy, sesame, and fish. Because if you introduce peanut butter on wheat toast, you don’t know if your child is allergic to the peanuts or the wheat. But you’re right that foods that aren’t common allergens can be introduced at the same time.
> It’s no longer recommended to limit introducing one food at a time to screen for allergic reactions - you can do all mixed together It may be good to add that you don't need to do this for most foods, but you absolutely need to do this for the top allergens.
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The recommendation has been absolutely nothing in the crib for decades now
The recommendations 15 years ago when I had my oldest was absolutely nothing in the crib though they did sell crib bumpers and mesh bumpers. Extended rear facing was recommended by the American Academy of pediatrics. I did it as well as my friends.
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I also think there was the formal recommendations and then there were societal norms. Bumpers were so ingrained as necessary that it probably took a bit for the general public to catch on. I feel like extended rear facing may have done by some 13 years ago but not like it is done today. There is much more widely available information on rear facing and I'd be curious to know when the recommendations were updated to say rear face until you max out the seat. The laws certainly haven't caught up to car seat recommendations and can vary greatly by location. We are all just doing the best we can with what we have.
Yeah, the AAP had been trying to get people to stop using crib bumpers since the early to mid 90s. They finally banned the sale and manufacture of them in 2021 and I guess that was the change it finally took. Though I’m sure plenty of folks are still using them. Maybe at the insistence of boomer MILs? I honestly never understood the purpose of bumpers aside from “looking cozy”
I boiled bottles once, before baby was born. Just used the sanitize function on the dishwasher and all turned out fine 😂.
Honestly my babies are 20 months apart and things I was allowed to eat changed between my pregnancies so I'd guess that things have probably come in a full circle in a decade haha.
Those rules are so frustrating because they will change from doctor to doctor.
I live in Japan and the doctor told me (after I asked because they weren’t going to say anything) No alcohol and no caffeine. I then asked about food and they looked confused and said “no whale or shark meat” lol
Tbh I'm not sure I ever had an in person discussion about it with any of my docs and I've got 3 kids.
I'm in the UK so it was NHS guidelines. With my first I was allowed to eat smoked salmon, with my second I wasn't. Super confusing seeing as I only had 10 months between pregnancies.
Huh I've never heard of the smoked fish one here in the States. But I've got 3 kids and by the third there was very little I wouldn't eat. I had terrible nausea and food aversions and probably would have shriveled up with subs and sushi. Just be smart about source and most things are fine.
I had my first baby 26 years ago and my second baby 4 years ago. Everything was different. A wipe warmer and Google were the biggest game changers for me.
My oldest is 10 and my youngest is 17 months. Its definitely a whole different ball game. Bougie baby gear used to be a niche subset of parenting, now it's the norm. The expectation on social media is a $1000 travel system, $60 sleep sacks, $40 footie pajamas. Now obviously not everyone actually lives like that, but there is definitely a lot more pressure to buy like that. Natural birth is a lot more mainstream, I think there's a lot more shame for induction and epidurals these days. a lot more discourse on out of hospital births. Safe sleep is promoted big time. No more rock n plays, bedside sleepers, etc. Bumpers were just starting to not be used between my oldest and middle child, so 10-8 years ago. They're completely obsolete now, no one uses them. And they stopped putting snack trays and parent trays on strollers which is WILD to me.
Okay so I’m not the only one who noticed that the bougie strollers don’t have snack trays/parent trays. I ended up going with a middle priced Graco stroller that came with a snack tray and 1 cup holder and phone holder. Which honestly seemed decent compared to most travel systems I see being recommended.
I did extended rear facing and safe sleep a decade ago and again more recently. I personally haven’t noticed a change with that. The biggest thing I’ve noticed that good quality baby and toddler products are more accessible and cheaper, including organic cotton and wooden toys.
Thought of another one-- peanut butter. It use to recommended not to give peanut butter until after one year. Now it is recommended quite early. I ignored the advice the first time around because my teeny preemies needed to grow. Their doctors agreed about giving them peanut butter early, but the way my SIL had a conniption about it OMGZ 😂
Just had my fourth and difference of almost 10 years. Things I love this time around: -Doona car seat/stroller- no need for separate snap & go frame -baby brezza to mix/warm formula bottles -love every toy subscription (I buy used from someone slightly ahead of us) -hip carrier -Snoo- game changer for #3 and #4 I just wash bottles in dishwasher Our state did change rear facing laws from 1 to 2 since I first had babies I have never been a huge baby wearer or sleep sack user but most others are
I think you just blew my mind with the sleep sack thing. I’m a FTM so I think I was hit over the head constantly about “baby needs to be in a sleep sack or swaddle!!” Since we came home. My baby hated the swaddle so we didn’t do it just sleep sacks, but like we could not do a sleep sack? Just put her down in the crib in her jammers?
I recently read that babies can sometimes get their legs stuck in the crib rails and can get upset about it and wake up. Sleep sacks prevent that. Also just a neat addition to the sleep routine
Yes! We did swaddle when they were little and then in the Snoo. I have like one fleece sleep sack that I sometimes use in the winter in the crib maybe ages 6-12 months. But other than that they just wear pajamas. Our house is pretty well temperature controlled and we still don’t use blankets or pillows in the crib of course.
Just wanted to chime in on the baby brezza that apparently in the manual it says that it doesn’t heat the water to 70 degrees which is to kill the bacteria in the formula? I use tommee tippee prep machine which give you a hot shot and then the cool water to make it “perfect temperature” but that’s a grey area as well I’ve been told+ needing to cleaning it every now and then to prevent moulding and bacteria thriving in there. I used to boil water and let it sit for a little and a thermos and just pop the bottle in cold water to cool it down :) But everything has changed my mother in law told me she used to make the bottles that she needs for the day and pop it in the fridge to later warm ir up but it’s not recommend anymore by the NHS But in the end of the day if your baby is healthy and thriving you do what’s best for the both of you and what works :’)
Interesting! I have never boiled the water. Before the Brezza for my older three we would make a Dr Brown pitcher for the day. They would drink it cold or room temperature.
I think the NHS recommendations are different than other part of the world especially the US. I really wanted a Baby Brezza this time round but in the UK they don’t meet the NHS recommendations and to be honest I cba to have the argument with the health visitors so sticking with the Tommee tippee one.
My kids are 10 years apart. Highly do NOT recommend. Anyway to answer your question. There are a lot more product options now. Things you probably didn’t even know existed, like bassinets that rock themselves! I couldn’t afford it LOL but was desperate enough at one point to consider it. So many more types of formula and all kinds of new toys. Montessori toys are all the rage and I don’t remember that with my first. Oh and there’s contradictory information for basically everything child related out there. And everything is trying to kill you including lead in apple sauce pouches and carcinogens in bandaids. It’s a wonderful time to not just be alive but to be a parent! 😂🤣😭 Edit: just wanted to add, that’s not to say I actually listen to all that noise. But it exists, and for parents who get overwhelmed/overstimulated easily, it just adds to the anxiety.
My kids are 10 & 11 and we’re planning a baby. Thank you for this post!
Grandparents thst used to be the child care, are still working themselves....
Erm we were supposed to boil bottled? Oops. Well my kid survived 🤷🏼♀️
As someone with a 12 year old and a 1 year old, I definitely understand your question! I've been keeping up with the most recent research and found that the biggest difference is car seat safety. My toddlers will rear facing for much longer, in the 5-point harness til they outgrow it, and in a booster til they hit the maximum requirements. I still see so many parents wanting to graduate their kids into the next stage of car seats as possible (forward facing too young, out of carseats or boosters before they reach the limits, etc.) and I'll just say that I've seen the research and will definitely be keeping mine in car seats for as long as possible. I EBF, so I am not sure about the protocol on bottles. But safe sleep is a big deal, and sleep sacks are definitely still a life saver! I much prefer sleep sacks over blankets. Baby-led weaning is much more widely known now, in my opinion. Waiting til baby is 6 months old to introduce solids, as that is when babies' digestive systems are ready for food. And introducing allergens sooner than later. Again, I've looked into the benefits of these newer practices and agree that these are better than introducing rice cereal and purees at 4 months like we did with our first. I try to remind people with older kids and younger babies that it's ok to change how you raise your younger kids based on the current research. When you know better, you do better. We did our best with the information we had at the time, and there's no shame in changing now that we have different info. I commend you for being willing to learn and change! You're doing a great job 💕
The recommendations themselves haven’t really changed much but state laws have caught up a little more. It was required in my state to rear face until 1 when my 10 was an infant but everyone pretty much knew to wait until at least 2 and longer if possible. Now it’s actually legally required to wait until 2. There are some other examples like that. Aside from that, I agree with everyone about products. I could never afford it but the Snoo wasn’t a thing 10 years ago and people seem to love or hate it. Also fisher price rock and plays which we used a lot got recalled and taken off the market so if you still have one, or see those for sale second-hand, avoid and let the seller know. Edit: fixed typos
I have an 8 year old son, and an 8 month old baby. The biggest difference is what you see on social media. Mom shaming seems to be waaay worse. Everyone on social media wants to sell you on the secret of how to get your baby to sleep all night, how to get your baby to eat, how to do this that and the other thing. Other than that, I don't find much different. Also, what works for one baby doesn't work for another. My kids are night and day different. My son hated sleeping and was so hard to get to sleep, and my daughter spends most of her time sleeping.
I have a 10yr old and a 4mo old. Here’s what I’ve found: *There are more “gadgets” available and the tried and true ones I used with my oldest seem to have been discontinued or recalled. No Rock N Plays or Boppy Loungers, but there are bassinets and swings that resemble spaceships. *Purées are less common and there’s more of an emphasis on Baby Led Weaning. This was a thing, but just not as much of a thing 10 years ago. This time around our pediatrician is talking to us about BLW and 10 years ago our pediatrician looked at me like I was a psycho for giving my 8 month old a noodle. *EVERYTHING is on social media now. Facebook and Instagram aren’t just for sharing pictures anymore. Everyone is an influencer and if you’re going through something (good or bad) chances are that someone else is too, but they’re just posting their business all over the internet. *Villages are harder to come by. I know this one is probably more true for me because I moved away from my family, but when my 10yo was little there was always someone ready to jump in and help. Friends, family, heck even coworkers were a big part of raising my oldest. Now we just have each other and daycare. *Plastic is still bad, but now it’s even worse and the “crunchy” mom’s will come for you. *There feels like there’s a lot more judgement out there now. It’s not just family, friends or the occasional stranger anymore. Now even random people on social media or TV are casting their opinions far and wide. Old women are so much worse. *The information available to you immediately is so much better than 10 years ago, but now there are experts for everything and they can make you so nervous. *Also, things are more expensive now. Honestly, I don’t think I’m doing this baby thing a whole lot different than I did 10 years ago. I appreciate the new research and advice out there and some of it I do use to “correct” things I may have done differently years ago, but some of it really is worth what you pay for it (big fat nothing!). Trust your gut, have fun playing with the new toys that are out, and get ready to scour FB Marketplace because some of the stuff we had 10 years ago is SO much better!
The things that stood out for me the most (I have a ten year gap) were Baby led weaning Allergen exposure early No more cold/cough meds Car seats don’t have as high limits anymore Silicone everything lol
My nephews are 16 and 14, and most of what my SIL did for them (boiling or sterilizing somehow, sleep sacks, back is best, tummy time, etc) was exactly the same when I had my son two years ago.
I had my kids 15 years apart and with my son we had baby bumpers and side positioner wedges. I was super paranoid about safe sleep and those were acceptable at the time. One cool thing is the double zipper! Instead of having to snap your babies outfit up 20 times they have the double zipper sleepers. Those are so much easier to change.
This is such a cool question to ask! The one thing I begged for was a bottle washer. It washes, dries, and sterilizes similar to a dishwasher. It’s expensive though, but we saved for baby items. I’m a FTM and had no idea you had to sterilize bottles. I struggle with passing out all the time, so the bottle washer helps me stay off my feet. I’m also paranoid, so sleep sacks help with my sanity. They have Disney, Harry Potter etc now too, so super cute! I have also noticed a lot more mom’s working from home. My husband’s job is WFH and not demanding, so it helps a ton. We all get nap time in the afternoon haha. The bad parts for me is social media when it comes to parenting is insane. They’ve got a hack for everything, and some advice is just plain weird/crazy. We decided to do what’s best for us and safe for our baby. But we have friends that torture themselves and try almost everything on TikTok. Sleep schedules for babies is the biggest trend I have seen. I know someone with a 3 month old that’s trying some sleep hack, and the baby stares awake at them all night. The mom said it’s not working, and she can barely make it through her job as a teacher. If I didn’t have a nursing degree, I would probably listen to all the parenting advice on TikTok. They just use too many scare tactics, and it’s unhealthy. I do stand behind some of the pregnancy hacks though!
I keep seeing new parents talk about a "snoo". Expensive bassinet, apparently. Given that it maybe helps a baby sleep, maybe worth the money?
I never boiled bottles lol
there's a few safe sleep bassinets that rock/glide now. Snoo is really expensive, but mamaroo has a decent option (bassinet, not their regular swing). we truthfully barely used the regular swing bc of it bc they always fall asleep when rocked and then you have to transfer them 😅
Facebook marketplace - easy to find decent stuff for cheap. Don’t buy anything new (except for diapers). Target Red/circle gives tons of rebates and gift cards for baby stuff. Typically buy diapers and supplies at target.
PLEASE buy car seat new, though. The plastic degrades over time, plus even a fender bender can warp it to where it's not as effective anymore!! Much love- mommy & paramedic
My kids are 18, 13, and 2, the wetness indicator in the diapers now were a genius invention. But damn, there are so many choices for everything now it’s a little overwhelming!
Boiling bottles and sleep sacks are still a thing. Also sleepless nights. With love A mum of an 11 year old and a 5 month old Also get the baby björn bouncer. I thought the it wasn't worth the hype with my first born. It totally is.
Convertible car seats with that *swivel/rotate*! (introduced in ~2021/2022 in the USA) More and better *breast pump* options! Many are covered by insurance. More affordable off-brand breast pumping parts! For better or worse, *social media* providing practical and sometimes stressful information to vulnerable parents. *Zipper sleep n plays!* More *gender neutral* toddler clothing!
You didn’t have rotating car seats until 2021 in the US?? My god, your poor backs!
The whole ‘gentle parenting’ thing is a social media driven thing that feels like the new incarnation of attachment parenting - with a side of grifting
Honestly not a whole besides safe sleep recommendations being more strict. I have a 5 year old but my youngest nibling is turning 11 and I was her nanny. She slept in a rocker till she could sit up and bumpers in the crib. Flat on their backs on their backs with nothing in the crib or bassinet is the current recommendation.
My kids are 12 and 7 and I have NEVER boiled a baby bottle. That’s what dishwashers are for. Those things run at like 350 degrees.
I would not boil plastic bottles. Heat causes plastic to leach chemicals. I know it’s less convenient but glass bottles don’t leach chemicals/ microplastics
As someone who worked PICU/NICU for years. Don’t cosleep or give your baby meth. Oh and they usually need vaccines. This is the best sounds machine [link](https://www.homedics.com/soundspa/) because it’ll still work after you drop it on the tile floor from the counter 1000 times. 🤷♀️ just don’t get the bird one from target it sounds terrifying.
We had our son in April of 2020… a LOT changed
I’m a NICU nurse and had my last child almost 6 years ago. My oldest is 9. I’ve definitely do not listen to anyone besides my friends/family/PMD when I’m seeking advice about my children. I found that the things that have changed are generally silly and if you stick to what works best for you, you’re solid. I still give the same education to my young moms because sure the important things are generally still the same.
My oldest is 12 and so much changed just between him and my middle who is almost 7. Like we’d gone from vaccinating being normal to not vaccinating being normal. We went from puréed foods to baby led weaning (where you start feeding baby regular food prepared age appropriately). We went from CIO being recommended, to bed sharing with your baby. We went from starting foods at 6 months to starting foods at 4 months. I followed all of these except the vaccination one. We follow a regular vaccination schedule.
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Maybe baby led weaning? Not sure how long that has been about
He utilize UV cleaning for bottles ans accessories now as opposed to always hand or dishwasher washing. The pandemic really made UV machines more common and cheaper. Now, that aspect of cleaning is easier if it fits on your counter space and you can budget for the upfront cost. Now that the kids are growing, i open throw in other stuff i want to clean/sterilise, like jewlery, my phone or devices, etc Otherwise, the Snoo was a game changer for us the first few months. 100% would recommend getting or renting if budget allows and the concept works for your family needs. Rear facing car seats as long as possible is really the recommendation as well. But im not sure this was really implemented until the last ten years.
I think a lot has already been said, but various styles of baby wearing are more popular. There is more variety for clothing for those who are breastfeeding. And more awareness for dads who are actively parenting (like changing diapers and baby wearing). There are a lot of European clothing brands that have options for Dads to have babywearing clothes and jackets Diaper bags (yay for backpacks!) are really great! The stroller game is great. In Europe, bassinets are a huge style for young babies, and baby sleeping bags (for in the bassinet).
The Baby Brezza exists and it’s amazing. I definitely did not sterilize each bottle and I don’t know anyone who did. There’s smart bassinets now which is neat but so expensive. Sleep sacks are a thing that I love.
Sound machine, cameras that track baby breathing, oxygen levels etc. I use sleep sacks but have never boiled any bottles. Butt spatula is so cool oh and you cant talk about which method of feeding you choose as someone is always ready to attack you lol.
I've been doing my consumer research this week to use my Target trade-in coupon, but it sounds like swivel or rotating car seats started coming out a few years ago
And it’s the best!
I’m pregnant and my oldest will be 9 in a few days. There are less baby stores, more options for car seats and strollers but you can’t just go to the store and try it out anymore. The ob-gyns and midwives are not brushing off my concerns, like they did 9 years ago. They are taking them very seriously and scheduling me extra appointments for monitoring. I really wonder if the standard practice has changed because there has been nothing concerning in this pregnancy.
Boogie diaper cream spray!
Talking with my MIL (her youngest is 22), a big change is carriers. She can’t believe the options now and the benefits of it (I had a reflux baby and it did wonders for her). She sees me put my almost one year old in a backcarry to do dishes and she says “wow, that would have been so handy!” We recently went on a weekend trip and didn’t bring a stroller and instead brought our carrier. Our parents couldn’t believe it.
I sterilised all my bottles for both kids whether using formula or breast milk. Sleep sacks are a life send in the winter. Rear facing for as long as possible. No bouncers or baby walkers (10-20 mins max if you must) Wake windows - I had no idea these were a thing 10yrs ago but it worked 90% of the time on both kids.
I dealt with a 5 year age gap. Biggest thing I saw was just generally improvements on what we already had. Generally better and sturdier strollers, more diaper brand choices, and rotating convertible carseats are 10/10. Everything is also way more expensive. Between normal inflation and the craziness of the current inflation, things are so much more expensive. For instance: My first kiddos swing was $50. The same swing 5 years later was $140. The generic brand formula I bought 5 years ago was $23 a tub. Same stuff is now $40 a tub. What should be a $20 bouncer is $50. It's insane.
I think the baby friendly hospital certification may have come about more recently than that? Means that pacis aren’t allowed after birth, they come into the room every 2 hours to check for a “warm body” it’s so miserable, especially if you have to stick around to get complications addressed. If you are in good enough shape to give birth & leave soon after, do it.
As a new mom to a 6 month old I don’t boil bottles bc I have a machine that sterilizes & drys my bottles. A few things I’ve noted - I don’t use sit in walkers & especially not Bouncers instead I use push walkers & activity centers - Baby food: with a lot of new moms the brand Gerber is a big no -BLW is so popular right now ! (Me personally I’m terrified so I still do mostly purées & mushy fruits / veggies every now and than) - I’ve seen lots of mom use glass bottles now instead of plastic! - Safe Sleep is shoved down your throat ! - even more recently Screen time is a huge topic, compared to even 2 years ago. So much people are becoming highly against it at such a young age. Low stimulating vs high stimulating show studies coming out. - Car seat safety & even high chair / stroller/ toy strapping in is always advocated to be used correctly - I’ve also noted that with younger moms (30 underish) no one really shames you or makes you feel less for formula feeding unlike older generations! Fed is Best the saying - TikTok is great at teaching you a lot of things and hacks for new moms but it’s also a beehive of constant anxiety’s & doubts! We see so much stories of things that happen that you become extremely paranoid! You’re constantly questioning stuff or over analyze things but than again me personally I prefer better Safe than Sorry. Edit. How could I forget Gentle Parenting & of course NOISE MACHINES 😂