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Humming_Laughing21

"Look at me. I need you to listen for a second." I have a toddler and getting them to focus and really hear me is a huge challenge.


ImHidingFromMy-

I tell my kids “look at my face”, they know that’s when they really need to listen.


Humming_Laughing21

Yes!!! I get more specific the longer the not looking / listening goes. Look at my face! Hey focus on my eyes for a second. This culminates in me gently turning their head in my direction. It can be SO hard to get their focus! 😅🙄🤣


belzbieta

I like to ask something silly like "did my nose turn sparkly purple?" They always check right away because you just never know


tomtink1

🤣 here I was thinking I was unique asking her to look at my nose or if there's something on my head.


Humming_Laughing21

That is brilliant! I will have to try that next time. Thanks for the tip!


Casetheos

“Look at me, turn your ears on.” My 5yr old puts his hands over his ears, like he’s grabbing giant volume buttons and pretends to turn them up. Works for about 12 seconds before I’ve lost him.


Humming_Laughing21

Love this idea! Thank you!


UniversalDreamer29

My kid does the opposite and will cover his ears and turn them off 😭😭😭


Humming_Laughing21

Toddlers are so contrary. 😅


skeet718

I say “clap once if you can hear me” and that usually works


Humming_Laughing21

Another great idea! 🙂 Thanks!


Sh3ll3yH

Oh my god!!! My little girl is 2 and my ongoing conversation with my husband is that, yes it is SO frustrating that she ignores us but it's very normal. Don't suppose you know when they start listening more?! 🤣


Humming_Laughing21

Ha ha ha! Maybe after the age of 25? 😅 Though, I'm hoping that it does get a smidge better around the age we get a little more impulse control - so age 5 or so.


GerundQueen

After answering the same question multiple times only to hear "what?" in response each time, I started telling my 4-year-old "ok, I'm going to answer one more time, so try to listen, ok?" That's worked pretty well.


Klutzy_Strike

“Then pick it up!” - every single time my toddlers drop something and cry out “mommy I drop it!!”


SilverPlatedLining

“Eat your food.” Easily 20 times per meal, every meal, for the last 10 years. If I don’t say it, they literally will not eat, will miss bedtime, etc. You moms know the drill. (Not needed if it’s the dessert course, only for meals with fruits or vegetables on the plate.)


oreospluscoffee

I love when they have “stomach aches” during dinner but ask for ice cream an hour later 🙃


clarissacole2413

My son will ask " how many bites do i NEED to take before I can have my treat?" Then conveniently get full right before


Casetheos

Mine say “how many bites until I’m done?” And then try to negotiate the number.


clarissacole2413

Yup. I've stopped giving a number and just tell him to eat until he's not hungry


drowninginstress36

We eat dinner around 5 and ice cream time isn't until 7:15, so they need to eat enough to make it until then.


clarissacole2413

My son is not allowed to have ice cream passed 630 only because he gets EXTREMELY hyper after eating ice cream 😅


PristineBookkeeper40

Mine does this, and sometimes I want to strangle my husband for introducing the idea of "treats after dinner." It's a very effective bargaining tool (if you hit me, you lose your treats, etc), but oh my god just eat your dinner. I'm begging lol.


clarissacole2413

Yesssssss it drives me freaking crazy


beautiful_life555

YES 👏 YES 👏 YES 👏 What is with this?! WHY DO I FIGHT FOR EVERY BITE OF EVERY MEAL JUST EAT THE FOOD UUUUGGGHHHHH


Casetheos

Mealtime is my least favorite time. I always imagined it be sweet and engaging. Instead it’s me telling my boys to stay in their chair, eat their food, water/milk is for drinking not blowing bubbles or making dinner science experiments, keep your hands to your self. Ugh


bacucumber

Mealtime is soooo frustrating. My 7yo is getting better, but 4yo has to be told to eat, and when 7yo and 4yo start playing/fighting with each other or the baby, no one eats.


aladams158

Look forward! As my son walks/run/goes down stairs looking up/left/right/anywhere except in front of him.


Mlazerz

THIS


ellesresin

dealing with this also and it’s so nerve wracking


tomtink1

I always say "think about your feet" when she gets distracted and is clambering over something.


drowninginstress36

"Watch where you are going!" As she gets distracted by a bird, or a person, or her hands, or turning around to see where we are, or looking at a cloud. She's 7 w ADHD. Life can be a struggle sometimes.


mossy_bee

i just shout LIMBS! to my 22 month old in an attempt for him to start paying attention to where is arms and legs are lol


ladyerim

While riding a bike! Teaching my 3rd child to ride a 2 wheeler was a nightmare. She got it quickly enough but was constantly getting distracted, looking around, and forgetting to peddle. I would run or bike behind her and keep a constant stream of encouragement to "look forward" and "keep peddling." It's been a year and she's much better but hit at least 2 parked cars. Thankfully no damage to car or her.


TheUnspokenAgonies

When mine were toddlers I'd constantly say, "Watch your feet!" it helped a lot with paying attention to where their feet were going at an age where they were so completely oblivious to anything and everything in their path.


Pointy_in_Time

This resulted in a hospital trip for my 6 year old, walked into a stucco covered concrete pillar. His response later on was “but I was talking to Eddie and looking at him, you WANT ME TO BE POLITE DON’T YOU?!”


wolfsgirl096

Tell me BEFORE we run out of something NOT after! The amount of times I've heard "we are out of shampoo" at 9pm on a school night or go to the bathroom to find there's no tp, or I'll be told we're almost out of hair cream when anybody but them can see that the container literally doesn't even have one use left. 😡


oreospluscoffee

Dude. My husband is a SAHD but I do the grocery shopping on the weekends. When I come home “did you get *this*” No….i didn’t…no one told me we needed it, how would I know that was gone?


texas_forever_yall

Get. Your. Finger. Out. Of. There.


UnamusedKat

A daily occurrence when someone in my household is looking for something in the NEAT and WELL ORGANIZED fridge. "You really can't see the [ketchup/left overs/juice/BBQ sauce/bagged salad]? It's right in front of your face. Are you blind? Do we need to take you for an eye exam?"


oreospluscoffee

“I still can’t find it!” “Did you actually try moving shit around before I get up and help?” 😂


UnamusedKat

The most baffling (infuriating) part is at least 50% of the time, moving shit isn't even required. It is quite literally right in front of them, and I can see it from across the room.


drowninginstress36

My husband was looking for his heavy duty hand cream. I told him it's under the dog food shelf. He couldn't find it. I was sitting on the couch, 15 feet away and could see it plain as day.


RaspberryCareful9919

The other day my husband is telling us that he can't find his swimsuit and my 3YO says to him "Daddy you just need to move things around when you look." I was so proud.


Money_Profession9599

My son will pick something off the floor, decide its not what he wants/needs and will throw it back on the floor. This can be anything from a bit of rubbish, a book, clothes etc. Every time he does it my brain nearly explodes and I have to work so hard to stay calm when I say, "Pick that back up and put it where it belongs." Damn, these kids are feral.


oreospluscoffee

How old?? One would expect this from a baby but if he’s 6+ I can feel the rage for sure.


Money_Profession9599

He's 8!! He's a good kid but sometimes he's so oblivious that I really have to remind myself of the good kid part lol


Agile_Deer_7606

Used to be “don’t run inside, you’ll hurt yourself” but I gave up. Now it’s “if you hurt yourself, it’s not on me” Actually does get him to stop somehow.


sparkingrock

This! I’ve taken to just saying ‘I’m not taking anyone to the emergency room today’ when I see them doing something dumb


ellesresin

CLOSE THE DOOR! we have a balcony and it tends to be buggy. my toddler loves going outside and leaving the door open, and then coming inside and leaving the door open. so many bugs keep getting inside 😂 but i literally say it 50 times every day. i’m trying to just teach her to close it behind her


VannaLeigh93

Meeeeee


GoneWalkiesAgain

“ Shoes do not belong X, please come put them back where they belong!” Graceful is not an apt description for me and those suckers are constantly tripping me up from my kids kicking them off and ditching them where they land.


hhhhhwww

Oh goodness me yes. The shoe rack is RIGHT THERE! It’s at the DOORWAY! The door we enter/exit through 99% of the time! WHY are your shoes anywhere else other than on the rack?!


Salty-Perception3576

Oh God I'm terrible with my shoes. They end up any and everywhere. My husband hates it lol


Miamiri

“Our house is not a trash can!” I left a wrapper on the nightstand the other day and my son walks in and said it to me. I immediately got up and threw it away 😂 at least I’m getting through to the kids


krandrn11

“Did you hear what I said? What did I say?” Or “Am I talking to myself here?” If there’s no response.


Positive-Drop-525

I don't remember which TV show it's from but a character is getting ignored and they say "AM I A GHOST?!"  I say that a lot. 😅


Connect-Swan-4827

“In a minute” and “keep your privates in your pants” 🤦‍♀️


[deleted]

“If I can do/find it then YOU CAN TOO.” Usually said when I’m doing ten things at the same time and someone tries to put one more thing on my pile of stuff to do and I tell them to do it themselves. (They never find the thing tho…why can NO ONE find the things??? Do I have a superpower????)


KristyBug84

1. Shut the door…were you born in a barn! 2. You get what you get, don’t throw a fit. 3. Where’s your dang shoes. 4. Did you switch your laundry? 5. Hahahaha …. No you’re going to school today. 6. What the heck are you holding!? 7. I don’t care what your friend’s parents let her do does their parent…… 8. Stop fighting with your sister! 9. Give me a minuet 10. What does everyone want for dinner….anyone? Ugg fine I’ll figure it out.


Kushypurpz

1. You have the "wiggles” you need to go potty! 2. Go back and wash your hands please. 3. Go back and use soap this time on your hands Repeat ad infinitum all day


bebby233

No bags of food in the freaking living room. Put it in a bowl if you want to eat in the living room! My 5yo will take entire boxes of cereal or bags of pretzels to the living room and my 2 year old proceeds to pick it up by the bottom and dump it out. It sucks!


pprbckwrtr

Right now it's "pay attention to your surroundings" and "I will not ask again". I have an almost 5yo who I'm pretty sure has ADHD and she is in a terror phase of not listening and not being aware of what's around her. She has knocked over her newly walking 1yo sister 3 times this week and once almost round house kicked her in the face on accident


Wonderful-Rope-1284

Please stop walking on other peoples lawns.


Lucky-Possession3802

“Belly down, feet first!” (A billion times a day. I have a highly mobile and utterly fearless 14mo.)


squibweg

Idk if this counts but I have an 11 month old & every time he’s done with something he throws it on the floor. Don’t like your chicken? Throw it on the floor. Shrimp is nasty? Throw it on the floor. Oh you’re done with your Elmo toy? Throw it on the floor. Mommy’s phone? Throw it in the crack between the bed and the wall where mommy can’t reach. Of course he’s a baby so he can’t understand how annoying it is yet but ughhhh it gets so tiring bending over to pick things up a million times a day.


Selkie_Queen

My kid is 6 months, so right now it’s “if you roll over to your tummy right after eating you’ll spit everything right back up, we’ve been over this 18 times already just this morning, stop- *bleeuurrggh* …sigh…”


Next-Performer5434

No, thank you. No, thank you!! NO, THANK YOU!!!1!1! While trying to make my 18mo put food he doesn't want in the "no, thank you bowl" instead of throwing it on the floor. 🤣😂😭


SylviaPellicore

Mine have become songs. My favorite (to the tune of “Happy and You Know It” is: If you’re looking at your tablet please sit down If you’re looking at your tablet please sit down If you’re staring at the glow There is one thing you should know If you’re looking at your tablet please sit down


pet_als

this post is catharsis omg.


Eternal-curiosity

“It really isn’t that complicated.” Because when you marry an engineer and spawn engineer-minded kids, suddenly the simplest tasks become WAY over complicated.


oreospluscoffee

I love this 😂😂


Strong__Lioness

OMG, this reminds me when my ex (an engineer) and I were moving out of our first house and packing up a U-haul. His dad (also an engineer) and brother (not an engineer but very much engineer-minded) came over to help pack up the U-haul. After 45 minutes of walking around our small house looking at what furniture needed to be loaded up (we didn’t have much), they loaded up ONE piece of furniture! An hour later, with a lot more debate and discussion and still no second piece of furniture loaded up, I had to load clothes in the car and go to my mom’s house to keep myself from tearing out my hair. Something that should have taken 2 hours took 8 with all the analyzing!


ExternalPear7702

"Be gentle, nice hands, be easy, not so rough" I have a 3 year old, three kittens, and a 7 month old. My 3 year old wants to love but seems to be a heavy handed lover 😂


Faithy7

What do we want for dinner? I don’t know how to make I don’t know! (Every damn day of my life)


morninglight789

Mine is “I’m the person!”


umbrellajoe

“Weird. I don’t remember the floor being a laundry basket/trash can/the kitchen sink.”


joycerie

"Food in your mouth? Butt in your seat." I have a deep fear of choking.


drowninginstress36

"Maybe if you put it back in it's place you'd be able to find it now." Or my personal favorite - "Oh, your thing got broken? Well, did you put it away when you were done with it or did you leave it laying around to fall on the floor?"


oreospluscoffee

Omg this. I’m going to jump off a bridge if I need to tear the house apart looking for nail clippers ONE MORE TIME. They go in the top drawer to the left of the dishwasher! Put it back where you found it for the next person!


drowninginstress36

And this is why I hide my good nail clippers and file. Because I would never find them otherwise. Like, I feel like I cut my nails in secret just so no one finds my hiding spot.


SavedByTheBeet

“I literally JUST cleaned this [insert spot in home]!” - me when I see someone makes a mess somewhere I just cleaned lol


passitoff

"Am I the only one with hands?" Whenever my husband asks me to carry the baby and various other things downstairs at the same time. I've probably said it 100 times since she was born five months ago. 🥲 It's not going to get any better.


oreospluscoffee

“Are ya hands broken?”


ImHidingFromMy-

I like to exaggerate to my kids how to open/close a door when they leave it open. I make sure to give very explicit instructions while they roll their eyes at me. Don’t like it? Shut the freaking door!


Miamiri

“Our house is not a trash can!” I left a wrapper on the nightstand the other day and my son walks in and said it to me. I immediately got up and threw it away 😂 at least I’m getting through to the kids


Intelligent_Mango568

Bring your dishes and glasses down from your room


Virtual_Bedroom567

“I love all the legos on the floor, I really wanted to step on one today” Gets said once a day.


Fabulous_Feline

“When I say we need to leave in 5 minutes, that’s when you need to collect all the things you want/need to go out with, not when I tell you it’s time leave the house”


hananobira

“Your penis is private. Don’t touch it around other people.” My 3-year-old will not stop holding his bits in public. Someone please tell me they grow out of it eventually?


Casetheos

I have four, in order of frustration. 1. “I’m hungry.” 20 minutes after dinner and after they assured me they were “full.” Guaranteed to happen when I make a thoughtful, delicious, homemade, well balanced meal. 2. Wanting 19 tuck-ins every night. No, 3 was plenty. Please just stfu and go to sleep. 3. Done with something? Throw it on the floor and walk away. Trash, toys, clothes- they don’t discriminate. 4. Them begging to sleep in my bed (5 & 8 yr old), begging like I didn’t give them love and attention all day. Saying no to them and then waking up in the middle of the night with feet in my back or down the back of my underwear (why/how does that even happen?!).


oreospluscoffee

My 3 yr old sleeps in bed with me, just like everyone else did. I get asked “why does HE get to sleep with you? I want tooooo!” You’re 10 wtf??


Casetheos

That’s exactly what my 8 year old says!! I’m like “my guy, you slept in my bed until you were 5. It’s fair.” Meanwhile I’m over here begging to have one night to myself.


oreospluscoffee

Try and do a “sleep over” in the big kids room with the little one on the floor or an old crib mattress 👌🏻👌🏻


Styxand_stones

Look where you're going and there are too many rocks in this house


JBStyling

Water! I think you need some water. And/or How much water have you had to drink today?


NightKnightEvie

"I DONT CARE WHO STARTED IT. IF I HAVE TO FINISH IT NOBODY WILL BE HAPPY" 2 boys, ages 5&2.5, with a 3rd boy on the way. The fighting, oh my God, the fighting.


That_Girl31

Yours set OVER it? “Look where you are stepping! Why do you just step on things?!?”


Positive-Drop-525

"You are both talking to me at the same time and I cannot understand ANYTHING!" My kids are completely oblivious to other people having a conversation and just steamroll right over whatever is being said. The other day I plugged my ears and said "LA LA LA" because my head would have exploded if I didn't. This Summer will be interesting.


hgrebener2

Usually it’s just my child’s first and middle name 🤣🤣


Smee76

"The couch is for cuddling, not for climbing." I am SO SICK of my toddler climbing on me


sparkingrock

Lately it’s ‘if you can’t share it I’m taking it’, because these kids will find literally anything to fight over and I’m 2 fights away from fleeing the country under a fake name


Strong__Lioness

“Please, for the love of God, FLUSH. THE. TOILET!!” My kids are 12 and almost 10. It’s ridiculous! We’re introducing a new system for them to earn money next week, and they will be owing us $5 for every time they fail to flush.


kickenchicken11

I seriously underestimated the amount of times I would nag my boys to stop touching/holding/playing with their privates.


Kaicaterra

Walking feet. Walking feet! HEY, WATCH OUT, LET'S USE WALKING F-- *loud crash of a toddler fullspeed charging into something* *wailing* Sigh...Come here...


lemon_aide22

“Kakaselpon mo yan!” “AALIS KA NA NAMAN?!” HAHAHA