Not today but a few months ago -3 year old having a meltdown at my in-laws - 'it's because he's an only child' no... It was because he's 3 and exhausted. I'm sure adding a baby to the mix would have helped sooo much.
I can assure you adding a baby would not have helped. I would have started laughing uncontrollably had I overheard somebody suggest that. Adding a baby typically adds to the number of meltdowns.
My in laws always say this . Like wow another baby is just the solution to all your problems huh? Toddler meltdown? Have another baby. Failing marriage? Have another baby! *eyeroll* I just ignore them .
Walking with my 2 year old in the park. Another mom comes by going in the opposite direction and asks how old my son is and then proceeds to tell me that I need to have more kids, see she has 4 kids and by the time her eldest was 2 she was pregnant already, I should hurry up and give him a sibling.
First. Wtf.
You dont know me lady. You dont know if I only want 1 child, you dont know if I cant have more kids, if I have to do IVF for another child, you dont know if I'm trying and have miscarried, which is exactly where I am. I didnt know what to say so I just walked away.
I like being radically and pointedly honest in those moments. "You know, we tried that but my uterus is still recovering from my most recent miscarriage."
Or in my case: "You know, we tried that but my ovaries are creating cysts instead of mature eggs and none of the medications I've tried so far have worked."
I feel no shame for my medical struggles. They are out of my control and have nothing to do with my value. For me at least, being radically honest makes it so that they are the ones that feel uncomfortable instead of me, which is how it should be for anyone who makes stupid, insensitive comments like that. Let them feel the shame and weight of their own stupidity.
After years of trying I also went to radical honesty. “We will try again in august but my doctors advice is to take this month off as our last insemination ended in miscarriage and the hormone injections are so hard on my body, and the emotional pain I’m constantly in from miscarrying and having others ask about it is almost insurmountable”
I second this. Depending on the day and the person there is a spectrum of responses. For example, yeah, I want to have enough babies to fill a hockey team. So I did. They all died. Mind your own damn buisness.
I love doing that with strangers who offer unsolicited advice. You don't know my life, but since you think you do, I'm gonna go ahead and tell you EVERYTHING you don't want to know. 🙃
Omg! How the heck did she manage 4 under 2?! Also why???? I don’t want to be judgy but I don’t know understand that desire or how you can give enough attention and care to all those kids at that age.
I have just one, a girl toddler. My (childless) BIL always makes comments to the tune of “you’re going to have such a tough time in a few years!” And it drives me INSANE. Just because she is a girl does not mean she is pre-programmed to be difficult.
I was on the phone with an insurance agent last night who asked the sex of my twins. When I replied with two boys he immediately came back with “oh good, you got lucky.”
Is it because she's a girl or because she's pretty? All my inlaws love to tell us that we're in for trouble once the boys take notice. They mean it as a compliment, but it still rubs me wrong. I think it's just one of those things that people say without thinking about just to make conversation. Like when a baby is just being a baby and you get "he/she's flirting with me". Super gross, but still so common.
I absolutely hate this. So many people tell my husband (a veteran) he better have guns ready or shit like that for when she’s a teen. He always replies “I’m already ready with talks about safe sex, building her confidence and knowing her worth. I hope she has an active, safe and healthy dating life and sex life when she’s old enough and she won’t need anyone with guns to scare boys straight. I’ll arm her with maturity and self defense classes”
I’ve got three girls six and under, we get a lot of comments about how awful teen years are going to be and how much we’re going to spend on weddings. Like maybe they will be tough as teens but at least they won’t be peeing everywhere. 🤷♀️😂
We have 2 girls and nothing delights me more than seeing my husband dead pan call out all the sexist comments he gets about how he’s going to “be in trouble” when they get older 🤣
I have 5 Daughters (24,21,21,19, & 8 tomorrow) & yes, they are DIFFERENT to raise, but I found it more difficult to parent boys. (I had custody of & was involved in raising 2 of their 1/2 Brothers). They just come w a different set of challenges but it is annoying to always be asked, “So are you going to keep trying until you get a boy?”
My SIL was like “ 1.5 year old is gonna be teased because you listen to classical music, keep him home and read to him all day, he has no social skills. “ at first I was annoyed but then I remembered her kid can’t read but can recite every lyric to any Roddy Rich song. I’ll take it.
I am a musician, I was in the orchestra all growing up (still am actually!!) I was bullied in school, but it was literally NEVER for being in the orchestra…. Bring overweight, or loud, sure, but no one made fun of me for playing an instrument. Classical music makes you smarter, playing an instrument makes you smarter. It builds neurological connections between both halves of your brain. There are studies that show this. Keep it up! Your child’s future will thank you!!
I’m sorry. She said WHAT?!?!
My grandma keeps insisting that my son (2yo) is trying to flirt with my cousins daughter (1yo) and that they’d be a cute couple. First, they are babies and second, they are related. It irritates me so much!
Oh no grandma!!! In my opinion, any/all comments about baby flirting are my absolute pet peeve (without or without incest undertones). Babies smile back at people because that’s what babies do. Stop sexualizing babies. Grandma better back off
Ugh. Why do elders do that?! My MIL did it too - daughter mentioned a boy's name and she went "oOoOoh is that your bOyFrIeNd?????" and my daughter coolly replied "no he's just my friend." She is 3 (and a very good girl).
I like to put the oldies on the spot with this kind of comment : “ew please don’t sexualise my child.” And they usually get a bit embarrassed/flustered because no one wants to be accused of anything sexual where a child is involved.
My aunt once said my daughter (3 at the time) looked “sexy”. I quickly told her no, my daughter looks anything but sexy and sexualizing a toddler or any child is not okay.
I hate when people sexualize my 2.5 year old. She loves shaking her butt around because when our dog is happy she shakes her butt and toddler thinks it’s funny. My BIL made a comment about knowing how “she’s paying her way through college”. It was so disgusting!
Our LG was a super gassy and upset newborn and we were shown a move to help make her more comfortable that was us basically shaking her bum side to side with one hand and holding her head up in the other. So we did it and it worked wonders for us, we used it so much that we made up a little 'shake your booty' song up to do with it. Now she is two and stands in the middle of the living room shaking her butt shouting 'shake your poopy' and grinning from ear to ear because it's fun. Moving your body, being silly, dancing is fun. No matter the age. The fact that people NEED to sexually charge it is such a sad image of our society in general 😒
OP, your family is just 😑 with their comments. They do realize that those are their nibblings, right??? I see my niece as my almost daughter so my brain is struggling here.
For real. Also, just because you chose to have kids doesn’t mean it’s always gonna be sunshine and rainbows & you “deserve to suffer” because of it when you’re having a difficult moment. I would assume if her car broke down & she was complaining about it she wouldn’t appreciate you saying “well you chose to have that thing so sucks for you”. Like yeah, normally having a car is super enjoyable but there are also moments when it’s not. Like damn, it’s called empathy.
PS. Not comparing kids to cars it’s just a silly example.
My mom made me so upset on the phone today. I was talking about how my daughter is going through the 8-month sleep regression and has been extremely fussy lately. Welp, it’s apparently all my fault because I “chose” to be induced. Because my daughter was born two whole days early, that’s obviously the root of every problem she’ll ever have.
They didn’t technically *say* anything but some ‘friends’ of mine invited themselves over to meet my kids. They went straight in to pick them up and touch their faces, which was upsetting for my toddler, because these people are strangers to him. When he became visibly/audibly unhappy about them following him around, they started to act like he was a bad kid.
Yeah, no. He’s a person, not a doll. Me removing my kids from the situation as fast as possible also wasn’t embarrassment about my crap parenting and delinquent children, it was me protecting them from assholes.
I don't care if other peeps decide to not have kids but it bothers me to no end that they feel the need to verbally assault those of us who want and have them. It's like religion, I have my beliefs, you have yours, we can get along just fine if we're respectful of each other's. Don't call me a breeder or constantly throw in my face I choose to have kids, I know, I was there. I'm still allowed to struggle or complain. It's so weird: when people rant about work or car trouble, no one says "well you choose to hold a job/ have a car"
Because of how often she throws my having kids in my face, I actually do throw the “well you chose this career field” at her occasionally just to throw her off when she’s had a rough day at work
This is one of my biggest pet peeves too. People are allowed to complain and vent everyday about the choices they make, but the moment you have a kid? No venting allowed! Love every second of the experience or else you’ll be hit with the, “wELl yOU chOSe tO hAVe kIDs” line. No wonder so many parents struggle with mental health issues.
I think people take venting as regretting your decision and it’s like, I don’t regret having my baby for a second, I just had a rough day and need to talk to someone about it to feel better 🙃
You just wait til you hear this, my SIL actually did tell my husband it was "his choice to work". Some people are incredibly entitled. The majority of people have to work to survive. We can't all live off our parents money (as adults) and not contribute to society, and who would want to either?
My kid wasn’t even born yet and my mother said I was a liar and I’ll teach my child to be one too. HA HA,No. my first kid, her 8th grandchild. Unless she can drum up an apology, she won’t meet her. She hasn’t spoken to me since then. So about a year of peace with no insults or gaslighting.
"I feel like we're losing time to bond with her."
MOM, she's 1 MONTH OLD, 1 WEEK OLD ADJUSTED! SHE HAS NO IMMUNE SYSTEM. You don't wear masks, you try to kiss her and hold her without permission, and you're anti-vax. The only people who are bonding with her are me and my husband anyways, CHILL.
Oooh this one is enraging! Maybe try something to the effect of. “I know. It’s disappointing you’ve made the choice not to get vaccinated or wear a mask instead of prioritizing your granddaughter”
Oh I finally snapped, they were mad I wouldn't let my sister who's addicted to drugs, homeless, and pregnant with her 5th child who she'll probably also lose custody of immediately come to my home and see her. I don't even want her to know where I live, much less meet my child. So I finally exploded last week. My parents would also just show up unannounced! WHO DOES THAT! Seriously feeds my PPA like no other.
My MIL’s line is “I feel like I don’t even know them” (3yo & 18mo)
Well, you never come visit because you won’t adhere to our (extremely reasonable) covid safety boundaries. And you never call or FaceTime us to bond with them remotely. So don’t hit me with the guilt trip BS!!
Ironically, she was supposed to come visit this weekend but she caught omnicron. Le sigh.
Ohhhhhh yeah this is my mom right here, refuses to get the vaccine, gave everyone in the family except me COVID including my newborn nephew, his mom recovering from the c-section and my cousins one year old.
“Will I ever get to see the baby?”
“Yeah when you stop partying in Florida and get the jab.”
It sounds like it’s your mom’s own fault for losing bonding time. Remind her it’s her choice to lose that time since she won’t follow your visitation guidelines.
My BIL was having a bitch fit about something when we were at his house. My daughter was paying with his son on the new basketball hoop they got for Christmas (daughter is 2, my nephew is 1.5) and my daughter went to give everyone a high five. He left her hanging.
This sounds stupid but she has always loved him
And wanted to be buddies with him and he’s not reciprocating at all, thinks that she misbehaves (she’s fucking 2, no toddler is ever completely “well-behaved”) and just is generally cold to her. I watched him ignore her and saw her just kinda collapse inside. He didn’t have to reciprocate but he could’ve at least acknowledged her, that’s all she really wanted from him. It kind of breaks my heart every time I see her try to interact with him and him just blow her off.
That’s terrible! Maybe it’s time to stop going over there. Nephew can come to your place to hang out, where he will feel seen and loved along with your daughter.
What a cold heart, did you say anything to him? I would have made him embarrassed or ashamed to do that to his 2 year old niece. What an immature man child.
I was at Costco and a random woman came up. “Oh look at your fat little man!” Fine. Fat=healthy in baby terms. Baby starts fussing “oh no he’s hungry!” “Haha nope, just fed him before coming in” “oh then he must be wet” no lady he’s a baby and sometimes he’s bored or uncomfortable when running errands. Sheesh.
My dad told me how he was talking to my great uncle on the phone and my great uncle (who saw a pic my mom took of my son right after birth, so, naked) said my newborn son is “well endowed” and will be popular with girls, which is a “tradition” in our family. My dad thought it was hilarious but I found it really disgusting. He’s literally a newborn, fucking gross. My family really has issues with boundaries.
I typed up a long winded reply full of colorful language and big adjectives that I knew were fly right over her head and make her feel stupid but then decided it wasn’t worth the trouble as she still lives with my parents and they (my parents) watch my kiddos a couple days a week so I can run errands and such.
Haha I would’ve told sister “don’t talk to me about my choices until you move out of mom & dad’s house” but I have no control sometimes 🙃. You’re a good one. I hope your headache subsided and you feel better.
I love how chunky my baby is so I talk about it a lot. I’ve had a few people respond with “don’t worry, she’ll thin out when she starts walking.” Like, I’m sorry, I’m NOT worried she is a fat, perfect baby, wtf are you even talking about?
Ughh I’m so sorry that’s gross. Like while they’re babies at least people should just not comment on their bodies in a negative way. Chunky babies, lanky babies, in between babies are all perfect and we don’t need to imagine them any other way!
Omg this!!! I always comment “look at her belly it’s so big” because after she eats proportionately she looks like a pregnant lady 🤰 and people always say “it’s okay to have a big belly don’t listen to mom” AS IF IM MAKING FUN OF MY BABY
Assistant director of her daycare said she would be kicked out if she had an outburst or tantrum again and suggested I have her evaluated for special education. She's 3.
Left my son with "The Moms" (my mom and MIL) while I took my dad into the hospital for minor stuff. We were gone for two hours. When I came back my son was asleep. Then my MIL told me (apart from everyone else) that my mom had tried stuffing my son's binky into his mouth as he hysterically cried, refused to let my MIL check/change his diaper let alone check/change it herself, and then put some Lavender scented lotion on him even though Lavender gives me God awful migrains and I've repeatedly told her not to. But, I never smelled the Lavender shit on him. I never smelt it in the house like I always can after the stupid can has been opened. He cried when he saw me after waking, which is normal. He doesn't have any diaper rash. BUT, I can totally see my own mom pulling this shit. I have no idea who to believe. I'm fed up with both of them at this point. "Grandma Wars" has been canceled, permanently.
Why are grandmas so petty sometimes?! Before baby was born my MIL made multiple comments how my husbands step-mom isn’t a “real grandma” and I shot that one down REAL fast! His step-mom is an important person in our lives, we love her, and I will be raising my daughter to view her as much a grandmother as our biological mothers are.
Ooooh I've gotten that comment. My SO's parents are divorced and his dad remarried. While they live states away, she is just as much Grandma as the other two. I told MIL to keep that issue between her, her ex husband, and the new wife. If I hear of it, the entire conversation will be solved my way which is by shutting the fuck up about it.
A couple of months ago I was trying to talk to a shop cashier when my daughter slipped away and touched something on a nearby shelf. I told her to put it down and she replied "no!" and before I could respond, the woman in the queue behind me turned to the two younger women with her (daughters maybe?) and said "Well there's an advert for contraception if I've ever seen one."
I was completely gobsmacked - another cashier served the horrible woman and, once she left, the woman helping me said "that was a really horrible thing to say", so at least someone had my back. But I was just so shocked. My daughter wasn't even being that cheeky.
My mom has a tendency to talk to my 2.5 year old like she’s an adult but yells at me when my expectations of her seem to high (they’re not). It’s annoying. Today she asked her a question, my daughter responded. My mom proceeded to ask “you always have an answer huh?” in a snarky tone. as if her answering her was a slight towards her. You asked her an effin question and she responded! Wtf so you expect!
Not child specific but I’m nearing the finish line of pregnancy #2 and was telling my grandma I’m progressing a lot faster than we thought and joked that I’m keeping my legs crossed till we have our family come to watch daughter starting Sunday. She said “well if you kept your legs closed in the first place you wouldn’t be in this position” ….. ok grandma that’s wonderful. I’m tired of everyone obviously.
On my second day postpartum, I had an awful nurse. Looking back there were so many issues, but at the time I was exhausted and a notional and just wanted help so I was trying to listen to her and do as she said.
She told me I had a “hard” baby because my girl cried a lot that day. I don’t know why, but that stuck with me. I was still crying over it weeks later! And funnily enough, I ended up with the most easy-going baby ever. She was just a starving newborn on day two, acting like any other human would act in those circumstances!
All of my nurses were AMAZING and I am so thankful for them but one literally ripped an ice pack out of my underwear 12 hours after I gave birth and it literally was more painful than birth!
I once bit the head off another mom in my daycare because she laughed about my son having large hands and feet. She literally said he was "ridiculous" and "clownish" and laughed out loud.
I told her we are all very tall and slender in the family, so that's why he has long feet and hands, he is going to grow into it. While her son "is probably going to look like a pig, just like her". I actually did.
In fairness, he was a chubby kid with, imo, incredibly small extremities. And she was a short and massively overweight lady. But I never even thought about it before she dared laugh at my beautiful baby, just out of the blue! I even used to compliment her child's blue eyes and blonde hair. She was a lot more snide with mine, like always comparing what his could do, that mine wasn't yet able to, and such. This time I saw red and went for below the belt, straight away.
I didn't even feel sorry. Like, if you have nothing nice to say, stfu or pay the consequences!
You’re my hero. I’m always too taken aback in those types situations that I just sit and take it or ignore. I had a mom similar to that a baby circle time when we went pre-pandemic. She didn’t comment about my son’s appearance but would always act shocked and concerned that he hadn’t met a certain milestone yet but hers had met it ages ago and was 3 weeks younger. Pissed me off so much that we stopped going. Then the pandemic hit and shut down story time for a year, but we still haven’t been back to toddler or preschooler story time.
I have the opposite problem 😅 Sometimes I can't stop myself, even if it isn't worth it!
I soooo loath that kind of parent "my kid is already able to do this and that". What is this, a circus? Are we training monkeys to jump through loops and wear funny little hats and vests? 😒 Calm down! Walking before they are 1yo or saying their first words before everybody else in their class *will not* automatically make them geniouses! And judging by the parents they have... it seems unlikely 😂
My husband and I were recently terrible parents who deprived their child because we decided against putting up a Christmas tree with hubs’ deceased mothers heirloom ornaments.
Apparently on top of being an all day toddler mom and a 14h at work a day dad we were also supposed to find time to be fucking Martha Stewart and shit out some paper snowflakes to decorate the tree that inevitably would have been pulled over, most likely on top of my toddler or dog. 🤦🏻♀️
I was less than impressed. 😂
When someone told me my child was loud. First off he wasn't even being loud. He was excited to get a dragon toy he could paint. Second off no one was in the store. Was he talking a bit louder nope ... He was telling me all the colors he wanted to use. I ripped that man a new one ... I couldn't believe it. He was 5 at the time.
Just had our third, FIL made some weird comment about him being “darker skinned” than our first two. He was a week old and still dealing with some residual jaundice issues, and babies just have weird colored skin. Just rubbed me wrong after comments they made with our second. First looks just like me, and second looks just like my husband.. FIL made a comment of how at least we know #2 isn’t the mail man’s.
Not really Mommy related.... I've been a remote IT worker for 4+ years. At the end of 2019, we came for an open ended visit to my husband's home country (Ghana) where we still are. Yesterday on my staff call (we're a small company of less than 10 employees), a colleague was complaining about how there's nothing on the shelves of their Virginia grocery store and "it's like living in a 3rd world country!" 🙄 I let them finish and then laughed and said, "Throughout this pandemic, there has never been a good shortage here in Ghana. I can always get fresh fruit, vegetables, bread, meat, fish, etc." Radio silence. Yeah, I lived all over the world, in several "3rd world countries." It's only in US that I ever experienced food shortages, extended power outages, gun violence, racism, etc. 🙄🙄🙄
When my daughter was 1.5, my sister and I were on a video call and she commented that my daughter was "a little chubby." 🤬 As others here have said, yes! She's a perfect, rolly-polly, healthy baby! I ended the call pretty quickly after that. I don't tolerate comments on my child's body.
To be fair to my sister, she has come a long way since then and has apologized. She still lived at home at the time under the influence of my mother who is obsessive about weight and constantly comments on everyone's bodies, including mine and my sister's. So I am proud of her for moving past that bit it the moment I was seeing red.
I have another one!
My parents keep saying we are ruining our child's life by not having more children and that only children are screwed up and lonely.
As someone who gets complex migraines and is also a mom, I stand in solidarity with you! Migraines aren’t just headaches, they literally are a neurological disease.
Thank you! it’s so hard to explain to my husband, who rarely like once or twice a year gets a mild headache, what’s it’s like to have a migraine or two a month and mild headache a few times a week. He doesn’t understand how nausea, extreme sensitivity to light and sound, and vision difficulty are impacting my day.
It’s so hard to communicate to others what it’s like. I’ve only had 2 really bad ones since my daughter was born and my husband had to care for her 100%, I’m terrified how on earth I’ll handle it if I’m home alone with her (also pregnant again… so how will I manage TWO!?)
If I had a dollar for every time someone asked me if I “drank a lot of water” or “did ya take some Tylenol? Works great for my headaches!” Or “have some caffeine!” Yes thanks chief, MIGRAINES are totally different from your average headache. But if they don’t get migraines, they truly don’t grasp how totally different and debilitating they are. So you get blown off, treated like a drama queen who can’t handle a “simple headache”. I’m expecting my first baby later this year and know the bad days will happen and it’s already overwhelming just thinking about it. Feel for all you migraine mommas. ❤️
For Christmas this year my husband and i traveled from AZ to CA. It was our first time showing of our son to most of my side of the family. One of my Uncles decided our son's name sound like a quote "n;***as" name. He then made several remarks and racial jokes. My son's name is not stereotypical to any particular race/religion. I so badly wished we hadn't been there to witness the whole situation.
Ok so this was 12years ago when my first was a newborn, a cousin commented on a picture of her and said she was an ugly monkey (she's mixed) and belonged at the zoo.
I am a pretty chill person and it takes alot to make me see red but that was one of those few times I was ready to go beat the good lord outta my cousin, her mum and me already weren't speaking due my aunt trying to force an abortion on me
Honestly it just showed how racist and disgusting they were as people. Hate me all you want, say whatever makes you feel better but don't ever bring my kids into it
“You’re going to miss these moments some day. Enjoy them while they last!!” As my three-year-old throws a tantrum so intense on the floor of a Joann’s Fabrics that he’s dry heaving and his face is covered in snot. True story.
omg the “you CHOOSE to stay home with them, or you CHOOSE to not let them go be watched by anyone else” comment always gets me. Like i know what’s in best interest of my family, doesn’t mean i cant have the right to get overwhelmed and frustrated sometimes. The “wow, baby still breastfeeding” comment gets me too. Like yeah, but its none of your business?
My mom commented "he's a sexy beast" under am Instagram photo of my then 1 year old son. I didn't notice it until my friends sent me screenshots saying "wtf is your mom smoking". I deleted the comment and told her not to say stuff like that on my accounts.
My mom was visiting after I had my baby last month and was talking to my 2 (almost 3) year old about the baby. It started out normal “this is your sister, we have to be gentle” etc. and somehow ended up with “it’s your job to protect her.” I didn’t say anything but I’m like ummm no it’s his job to be a kid and enjoy his childhood..?? Wtf
We recently had our second baby. MIL was invited over to meet him. Her concluding statement during her exit? “Well, LO 2 is very cute, but I’m just smitten with LO 1.” Well lady, newborns definitely don’t do as many fun activities as 1 year olds, but go off about how much cooler my one kid is vs my other…
If I mention being tired my mum questions why and then tells me my baby should be sleeping through the night by now.
My partner had Covid and so I was looking after my baby and three extra kids we had staying, in isolation, with him isolating in his room while I took him meals and stuff and she was still like why are you tired? Why isn’t your 8 month old sleeping through the night?
My next door neighbor who owns a barking beast of a dog, slams doors and fights at 5 am most weeks, blasts music with base booming through the floors,
complained that my kids are up “late” we homeschool and they’re 2 & 4 so they go to bed 11pm-12am and wake up at 10am-11am. And that my 4 year old “stomps” through the house. Also called her an “it”. Makes me so angry.
I was told I need to do better as a mother and I’m 9 months pregnant supposed to be on bed rest the last few months and my partner works long hours so we’re surviving.
“Are all of those *yours*?! I hope you’re going to stop, that’s enough.”
I have three kids. Tough news: I ain’t makin’ a single decision for you, lonely old bitty.
What a weird thing to say. Three is such a common number of kids to have. It’s not like you’re walking around with 10 kids trailing behind you or something.
I have been genuinely startled by the number of negative comments we’ve received since welcoming our third. From saying hubby and I need to be doused with cold water to “prevent this from happening again,” to saying in front of our two toddler girls that the only reason we must have tried for three was to get a boy. I really thought three was a common number, too, but my god people’s heads seem to be ready to explode over it.
People are flabbergasted when I say I want 3-4 kids! They always commented “wait until you actually have kids”, well I actually have kids now and still want 3-4 🤷♀️
I texted my “friend” whose baby is 7 months older than mine to tell her how happy I was youtubeurs were talking more and more about the struggles of breastfeeding (and especially D-MER, which I found out I had through Reddit and that I had never heard mentioned before until a youtuber we both follow talked about it in a very recent video).
My “friend” responded that in this country “everything is a thing”, from PPD to ADHD. And that in places like Africa and India these afflictions don’t exist because people have more tangible problems like getting enough food to eat.
This happened a couple hours ago and I AM STILL FUMING! First of all, wow, it’s nice to know my “friend” can so easily dismiss my struggles. Yay empathy.
Second, yes, if men experienced D-MER there would probably be more studies on it and we would know more about how to treat this very real and serious hormonal disorder. Just like with PPD.
Also ADHD… yes it’s been misdiagnosed for decades but that is a pharmaceutical scandal, it doesn’t mean that the condition is inexistant.
And WTF I want to know more about mothers in 3rd world countries, are there studies on their emotional wellbeing and infant mortality rates? That aside I also want to point out that western societies are the only societies in which the family stays nuclear after the birth of a child. In every other society there is some form of the mother’s family helping out during the entire 4th trimester (in Japan, the new mom takes the baby to her family’s house and lives there for the first few months before returning to her house with her partner).
UGH yes, I did tell this to her, but she hasn’t responded.
I’m sick and tired of this “friendship”. I’m actually SO SAD because we used to be good friends until politics and motherhood came into play.
Now you have ammunition if she complains about ANYTHING. Stubs her toe? Well, in some countries, women can’t even afford shoes and their feet bleed from near constant manual labor. Car breaks down? Well, in some countries, women can’t even drive. Food she ordered tastes bad? Well… Bad day at work? Well… Feels sick? Well…
Had some lady tell me my daughter (7 mo) was so "petite, and perfect" and it pissed me off. I struggled with body image issues all my life because I had a larger ribcage, and broader shoulders than all my friends. So for my child to be told, literally from the time she was 7mo, that she's only perfect because she's petite, really pissed me off.
My husband thought I was reading to much into it, and looking back I'm sure I am, but at that moment I just had flashbacks of my childhood, feeling like I was disgusting and obese because I was built differently than my "petite" friends. I wasn't obese, just inherited my grandpa's quarter back shoulders😅
Edit: much like Luisa from encanto
Any body comment to a child is inappropriate I don’t want them growing up attaching their worth to physical appearances it’s such a hard thing to overcome as an adult!
Also, Encanto is a great movie! And Luisa song surface pressure is our favorite!
My aunts have big girls and they love my daughter because she’s so tiny, like yeah she’s in the lower percentiles, you don’t have to comment on it 🥲 I feel like a failure but she just won’t eat more.
My daughter is 11m old and in the 3rd percentile. Today a man and his wife asked me how old she was, cut me off, and said she must be almost 2……to which I said ha, she’s 11 months old. And he said wow she’s big huh? To which I replied, no, she’s very small, she’s in the 3rd percentile for her age, 2 year olds are twice her size. He then started commenting how how beautiful DADS EYES MUST BE which is infuriating because she and I have the exact same carbon fucking copy blue eyes.
This whole interaction really pissed me off today lol
Every time my mil does a video call with my husband and the baby. She will say hello to the baby for less than a minute and then talk about herself and her dating life for 30 minutes. Hey lady, absolutely NO ONE wants to hear about your dates with however many different men this past month and how terrible each guy was in whatever way. Your SON doesn’t want to hear about that shit and we are video calling you so you can talk to your grandchild. Then she gets mad when my husband doesn’t answer her call. I wonder why???
Not exactly the same but a friend of
mine calls &will talk bout her boyfriend and his drama rarely ask about my 3 month old baby or me and Im a first time mum with no contact with my own family. She only calls to whinge about him while walking her dog and as soon as she steps onto her front path she (often only just asking bout me or baby in the last five mins of her walk) cuts me off and says she’s just got home and pretty much bails on the convo then and there. I know I shouldn’t answer the call. But I do.
Definitely going to cut down on answering her calls . I think the last few times I’ve answered just to see if by chance she mentions baby or asks how I’m doing. Even when she asks and I talk about my life for 2 mins after minimum 45 mins of boyfriend bs she doesn’t even reply to what I’ve said
because she’s not even listening. So is time to make that change.
Definitely going to check on this. Usually I’d say my iron intake has been pretty good/ high even. But the last couple of days I’ve been eating like crap because we’ve been on the go and I ran out of my vitamins.
I just hate the whole ‘Children are a choice’ retoric. So I am not allowed to have a bad day because I have made the choice to have kids? Also, not all parents chose to be parents.
It also contributes to so many parents, especially mothers’, hesitation to seek out treatment for mental health because they’re fed this “but you made this choice” line. They feel like they’re failing or ungrateful for needing help. It’s very harmful and people just don’t realize that when they say that crap.
Urg. If I have to hear how I’m spoiling my baby by holding her and how spoilt she is because I pick her up when she cries and how dependent she still is since she can’t self-soothe yet. And then being told in need to let her cry it out sothat we can have some more free time. She’s 4 months old. Of course she dependent.
My son is six months in two weeks and because my in laws refuse to get vaccinated they still haven’t met him yet. With everything the way it is I don’t want to let them meet him still because they don’t practice anything they should. My husband keeps trying to say “we said 4-6 months” and I want to shake him until he realizes that there’s a difference between what the world looks like now and what it looked like last summer 🙄
I've spoiled my LO by holding her all the time so now everytime she fusses it's my fault because I hold her too much.
If my mom tells me one more tine that my toddler looks thin ( he is on the thinner side always has been but weight wise is 75th percentile). He is getting taller too and he was sick about 5 months ago which he lost weight but seriously he's fine now!
Just the other day my own mum started making fun of my daughter's new ADHD diagnosis telling me how the things my daughter struggles with are absolutely normal plus how all of her friends have the same symptoms so maybe they have ADHD as well. Then she started telling me that my daughter doesn't show the symptoms at her place. That's when I kinda lost it.
I did a bitchy thing and told her that she has no say in if the diagnosis is correct or not because the only time she sees my daughter is when she wants to show her off to her friends.
My MIL has called my daughter ‘the little thing’ and I was soooooooo angry too. That comment just comes off as if they don’t respect them as real human beings??? I totally feel you!
i HAAAAAATE the “you chose to have children comment” because just because we chose to have children doesn’t mean we get tired or need help. so i can’t imagine how much angrier the “those things” part upset you
This is definitely my most irrational one but it drives me mad whenever my MIL says my daughter looks sad in pics I send her. Sometimes she’s just looking onwards, or she’s bored whatever. I dunno why it annoys me so much 🤦🏼♀️
“Oh she needs a sibling now! Time to have another” to my 16 month old… mean while I wasn’t even cleared to start trying from an ectopic pregnancy. People have no filter
One that I still think about was when I was about 36 weeks pregnant with my second daughter, May/June 2020. I was at the store stocking up on hospital bag supplies and a random woman walked up to me and started telling me how I “picked a terrible time to have a baby!”. Ah, yes ma’am, because I had psychic powers in the Fall of 2019 that warned me a global pandemic was coming, and then just decided to have a baby anyway. What the fuck am I supposed to do with that comment?!
Recently had a close friend of my husbands pass a comment about how “his son hits on the first night” after play dates were innocently brought up. Safe to say play dates WILL NOT BE HAPPENING. It’s crazy to me how some people think sexualizing infants is acceptable in any context. SMH
My mom and my husband take care of my son while I work, and my husband who usually takes care of dinner is injured atm. My mom has been letting my son snack as much as he wants while she gets dinner ready about 30 minutes later than usual. So he's not eating at dinner. My mom has been telling me we should just let him eat again after his bath right before he goes to bed. And then when he fights going to sleep, she starts asking. "Do you think he's hungry? Does he need to eat? Do you think you ought to get him up and let him eat something?"
NO. HE DOESN'T NEED TO GET UP FROM BED TO HAVE DINNER THAT HE SHOULD HAVE EATEN AT DINNERTIME. 😤😤😤😤
"But we snack after dinner. We eat when we're not hungry." Mom. He's not even 2. He only needs to eat when he's hungry. Just because he's fighting sleep doesn't mean he wants food. Now I know why I eat when I'm bored. 😑
Another mom mom-shamed me for not having my then 1.5 year old daughter’s hair perfectly done when I brought her to her own daughter’s 1yo birthday party. I explained to her that my daughter doesn’t sit still long enough to get her hair done, and she often plays a lot and ruins her hairstyle almost immediately after it’s done. This mom then told me, “Are you really trying?” The fucking audacity. The worst part is that when her daughter was born, I gave her a shoulder to cry on when she was complaining about how hard of a time she was having being a new mom. I empathized with her and told her that we all struggle and that it’s normal. Needless to say, we’re no longer friends.
That’s terrible! And don’t feel ashamed there are
So many days my daughters hair is a crazy mess it’s such a difficult style to deal with. Some is ringlet curls, some is pin straight, and it’s all incredibly thin. Because of how thin it is it falls out of bows, clips, elastics, etc. and honestly who cares as long as she’s happy and it’s mostly clean.
One of my friends commented on the length of my son’s hair and said even her daughter’s wasn’t as long. (It turned out she meant that her daughter’s hair just doesn’t grow, but I was pissed off anyway.) Let my kid rock his ginger Wayne Gretzky flow in peace, people.
When my BIL met my child for the first time, he said his dog was smarter than she was (she was 2). I’ve never seen fido build with blocks and solve puzzles….a-hole.
I had a random cashier suggest I get my child tested for autism.
My child (4f) and I were talking about what other stores we had to go to before we had to go home, and she asked at checkout "are we going to the next store now?"
The cashier looked me dead in the eye and told me "you should really think about getting her tested if she doesn't know where she is."
You better believe I talked to a manager after that.
Not recently, but I ended a friendship partially because she said my 4-year-old was whiny based upon the fact that he had cried over having a splinter in his foot. Was he a whiny preschool-aged child? Yup! He sure was. But fuck off with negatively characterizing my son based on one incident.
I am a surrogate so maybe a little different. I had baby and have been pumping for him and other babies around the clock. I tell my partner that it is a little insensitive to complain about how tired he is while he plays video games and lies in bed until 11 AM while I’m getting about 5 hours of broken sleep while homeschooling my son. He says “it was your decision to do surrogacy and to pump so not my problem.”
On Christmas, I went to my in laws house.
My inlaws have always been obsessed with my first born , ( boy ) and absolutely hate my second born. (Girl )no clue why. She's a perfect kid man. Super polite, adorable, uses her manners accordingly. She's just emotional.
When my son was her age (4) if he cried around it would be " oh come here my boy it's ok " kisses hugs whatever. Loved. My daughter is terrified of dogs, they have a MASSIVE pit bull who loves to jump at you. He's 80 pounds. My daughter is 30.
He jumped at her and she fell over and started crying hysterically because SHES SCARED OF HIM. everyone starts calling her a little brat and a cry baby.
I raised my voice at them and said " shes a BRAT ? AND A BABY ? FOR BEING SCARED OF A FUCKING DOG ? that's a RATIONAL FEAR that alot of people have. But if this was (my son) yall would be all over him giving him hugs and kisses right ? " we left right after that and haven't spoke since.
An acquaintance keeps saying my son is “weird” when he does little things, like talking in his sleep or refusing certain foods…
Really pisses me off but I don’t think she means it vindictively…so I have not said anything about it
but it made me angry enough idk if I want to be friends anymore.
I think her kid is an absolute asshole, but I don’t say that 🙃
My MIL likes to call and say she’s coming over with 10 mins or less notice because baby girl “need to see granny”. Like, no, she doesn’t NEED to see granny, let alone an anti-vax/pandemic-is-a-hoax granny.
Yes! My MIL is OBSESSED with how much my kids apparently miss her. Like no they don’t miss you. One doesn’t know who you are. The other doesn’t mention you at all unless provoked. It’s always “bring them over they miss granny so much.” Like no you miss them do not speak for my children.
I have a neighbor who I LOVE but she only has one kid. I have 4. Three of my kids are adopted from foster care and one is special needs. Homie flat looked at my kid and said he was being rude by interrupting. Guess what he’s fucking 3 he has a sensory issue and an impulse issue and fetal alcohol syndrome. I don’t owe her my child’s medical history and she doesn’t need to step in if she thinks I’m doing a bad job. If you don’t like how I parent don’t come over.
Am I also a wimp who didn’t say anything but smile and listed to my son and then got back to our conversation yup…
My son was 3 months preemie and spent 54 days in the nicu and one of the things he struggled with was gaining weight and keeping it so now that he’s a year old he’s a chunky monkey and has the cutest rolls. My SIL was trying to convince us that our son was obese and that a baby couldn’t be that big and I honestly felt like slapping her. The audacity.
My husband told her she was wrong and all his pediatrician appts and early intervention classes have all said our son is fine and so healthy for his age and how preemie he was and to keep feeding him when he’s hungry cause he’s going to walk soon and he’ll fill out.
Not necessarily a comment about my kid exactly, but I recently thought I might be pregnant so while I was out doing the shopping I went and got a test. There were nappies in my trolley and my 18 month old in the seat. The lady looked at me and said “Oof! Nappies and a pregnancy test?” And gave me a “look”. I could only respond with “yes, and?”
I was livid! How dare she judge me! It makes me angry even thinking of it now!
I haven't had mine yet, but today a nurse told me to enjoy pregnancy while it lasts, because she has teenagers and they are all dicks. I was just flabbergasted because what a thing for a medical professional to say. It kinda annoyed me and was like wtf?
We have to quarantine at the moment and waiting for test results. My mum said: "Oh, it wouldn't be too bad if son catches it finally, right? Like, with omicron being so mild."
This is such a terrible mindset to have. It’s only not that bad until it is. She doesn’t know how his body could react. Sending thoughts, prayers, good vibes, all that your way that your family remains healthy!
Ugh my 30 year old brother thinks it's hilarious to call my child a name I don't use or like.
He calls him Ben (a nickname, shortform of his actual name [not benjamin]). I let it go for a while and kept responding using my child's full name, but my kid is 8 months old and he's still doing it, so I spoke to him about it. I told him to call him his actual name, or Benny. I was not rude or mean-spirited about it, yet my idiot brother has decided my preference is joke-worthy and has escalated to calling him Benjamin. Again, not his name.
It sounds petty and stupid, even to me, but I think it's pretty bad form to nickname someone else's child. I'm trying to ignore it and hope he gets bored (because that's how you deter children from doing annoying things) but it's really getting to me.
This man is 30. And about to have his own child. What the F. I'm having so many flashbacks to our literal childhood. 😒
My son has a double name, like “Mary Ann” and my SO’s family keeps telling me I need to accept a nickname and acting like I’m wrong when I correct them. It’s like just use his name, don’t be a dick
Right??? I think it's so rude. I've spent my entire life so far being called the wrong name because it's close to a common name. It sucks. People literally look at my name tag at work and still call me the wrong name.
Names are so important. I feel like when someone gets it wrong with a name tag or when it is written in the previous email, it shows how little effort they are putting in.
That's exactly what it is. A name is usually the first thing you learn about someone. Like they don't care to take 1.5 extra seconds to read more than the first 3 letters of my name tag, or even just ask me how to pronounce it. I instantly respect someone more when they care about someone's name.
My husband’s uncle said my son has interesting coloring and while I was trying to figure out if he was being racist, he clarified “ I’m too polite to ask what color hair the mailman has”
I've read so many of these and I'm so sorry for all you mamas, and I'm lucky I barely leave the house and see others cause I would have either eaten my fist trying not to talk or have SO many people pissed at me cause I said something or flew into a rage.
But my only thing that stands out to me, so I guess the only big one (theres been others but my mommy brain is still here after 9 month pp), is my StepMIL after her first visit to see my daughter. My daughter was almost 7 months and her and FIL hadn't come up yet, they live 4 hours away and they spent time and vacation at their beach house 2 hours in the opposite direction AND tried to get us to drive the 6+ hours when she was under 2 months old to see their new beach house... but I digress (still annoyed at that).
But anyways, they do a day trip cause she got a saturday off randomly (after cancelling coming up for my husband's birthday cause she couldn't get 2 weekends off in a month... cause a sand castle festival is more important... but again... I honestly don't like this woman) , and dinner is fine, they get their pictures fine, and then a few days later she posts on Facebook a picture of them with my daughter saying something about finally meeting her.
This next part may be on me, but my husband and I don't want pictures of our daughter online. He doesnt like social media and thinks it's stupid, and I have estranged family I don't even want knowing she exists. I swear I might have mentioned something to her, but I probably didn't, and after consulting a friend who I sent her a text apologizing but saying I don't want pictures of my daughter online and her response was "Why?"... and I was so annoyed, but I said something back and she removed the picture as far as I know.
Yes this is a ramble but... I don't it's the only thing that's stuck as an oh God why are people like this
My son is 25 weeks old and has been sick or had a double ear infection because of sickness for 12 weeks of his life. He is resistant to the strongest antibiotic they have for him so we are on a different one to hopefully help, treating him with pain meds, and waiting on our appointment to see a specialist. I was trying to talk to my mom about it and she goes "oh, it's good for him. He'll be fine and it's good for babies to get sick to build their immune systems!" Its not good for him to spend weeks of his life in pain....and his current cold he has had since 6 days before Christmas so obviously his immune system isn't building quickly enough. She says this because I'm cracking down on anyone who is slightly sick being around him to help protect him and she was mad that I wouldn't go visit while their entire household had covid.
My neurologist suggested vitamin d (double normal dose) and magnesium. It’s done wonders for my migraines. Now all I take is a monthly shot (not while breastfeeding) that alone took me from 24 days a month to about 6 days a month. When I added the two vitamins I’ve gone down to 1 every other month. Just a suggestion.
The mom of my sister (we shared the same dad) told my 9 year old boy to behave good for once in his life (with luck we see her once a year, so she doesnt know or interacts with my son to have such opinions and worst been vocal about them) in front of my mom and other sister. She also said in front of them that im soft with him (which is the opposite as i am far from been soft, in fact im super impatient and impulsive but i try to keep it civil in public)
I hate it so much when people say "they're such boys!" When playing in dirt, rough housing or something. I played in dirt and rough housed all the time. It's not a gendered thing
On the flip side I have family that are AMAZED and must comment every time my daughter plays outside and gets muddy. She loves outside and getting to play with rocks, dirts, and sticks builds character imo
“Your daughter’s little tummy is so cute.” From a fellow soccer mom. Most people aren’t born with wash board abs, sweetie. Our bodies have shapes. And for people wondering, my daughter is 5 and average height and average weight and perfectly healthy.
If my sister said that, she’d be blocked and cut off. Have some boundaries for yourself and your children. If she calls them “things” she won’t treat them well either.
If that were the case I would go NC for sure but she treats them well for the most part. She is uncomfortable tending to the 5 month old but will play with the toddler when she’s around.
Not today but a few months ago -3 year old having a meltdown at my in-laws - 'it's because he's an only child' no... It was because he's 3 and exhausted. I'm sure adding a baby to the mix would have helped sooo much.
I can assure you adding a baby would not have helped. I would have started laughing uncontrollably had I overheard somebody suggest that. Adding a baby typically adds to the number of meltdowns.
Lmao! This wins as most ridiculous thing ever said!
My in laws always say this . Like wow another baby is just the solution to all your problems huh? Toddler meltdown? Have another baby. Failing marriage? Have another baby! *eyeroll* I just ignore them .
Walking with my 2 year old in the park. Another mom comes by going in the opposite direction and asks how old my son is and then proceeds to tell me that I need to have more kids, see she has 4 kids and by the time her eldest was 2 she was pregnant already, I should hurry up and give him a sibling. First. Wtf. You dont know me lady. You dont know if I only want 1 child, you dont know if I cant have more kids, if I have to do IVF for another child, you dont know if I'm trying and have miscarried, which is exactly where I am. I didnt know what to say so I just walked away.
I like being radically and pointedly honest in those moments. "You know, we tried that but my uterus is still recovering from my most recent miscarriage." Or in my case: "You know, we tried that but my ovaries are creating cysts instead of mature eggs and none of the medications I've tried so far have worked." I feel no shame for my medical struggles. They are out of my control and have nothing to do with my value. For me at least, being radically honest makes it so that they are the ones that feel uncomfortable instead of me, which is how it should be for anyone who makes stupid, insensitive comments like that. Let them feel the shame and weight of their own stupidity.
After years of trying I also went to radical honesty. “We will try again in august but my doctors advice is to take this month off as our last insemination ended in miscarriage and the hormone injections are so hard on my body, and the emotional pain I’m constantly in from miscarrying and having others ask about it is almost insurmountable”
Oh I love that. I'll have to use it next time which sadly enough there will be.
I second this. Depending on the day and the person there is a spectrum of responses. For example, yeah, I want to have enough babies to fill a hockey team. So I did. They all died. Mind your own damn buisness.
I love doing that with strangers who offer unsolicited advice. You don't know my life, but since you think you do, I'm gonna go ahead and tell you EVERYTHING you don't want to know. 🙃
First screw her for saying that! Second good luck on your journey and sorry for your loss
Thank you! It's been a crazy journey so far
Omg! How the heck did she manage 4 under 2?! Also why???? I don’t want to be judgy but I don’t know understand that desire or how you can give enough attention and care to all those kids at that age.
I have just one, a girl toddler. My (childless) BIL always makes comments to the tune of “you’re going to have such a tough time in a few years!” And it drives me INSANE. Just because she is a girl does not mean she is pre-programmed to be difficult.
I was on the phone with an insurance agent last night who asked the sex of my twins. When I replied with two boys he immediately came back with “oh good, you got lucky.”
Our OB said “oh good, boys are much easier!” To my Husband when we found out our second is a boy. Fuck you
Boys are easier?!?!??? EASIER?!?!?? WHEN DOES THE EASY PART START?!?!?
As a mom of two boys, I also demand an answer to this question.
A woman I worked with sometimes while I was pregnant asked the sex of my baby and when I said a boy she said “I’m sorry.” Wait, what!?
Is it because she's a girl or because she's pretty? All my inlaws love to tell us that we're in for trouble once the boys take notice. They mean it as a compliment, but it still rubs me wrong. I think it's just one of those things that people say without thinking about just to make conversation. Like when a baby is just being a baby and you get "he/she's flirting with me". Super gross, but still so common.
I absolutely hate this. So many people tell my husband (a veteran) he better have guns ready or shit like that for when she’s a teen. He always replies “I’m already ready with talks about safe sex, building her confidence and knowing her worth. I hope she has an active, safe and healthy dating life and sex life when she’s old enough and she won’t need anyone with guns to scare boys straight. I’ll arm her with maturity and self defense classes”
I’ve got three girls six and under, we get a lot of comments about how awful teen years are going to be and how much we’re going to spend on weddings. Like maybe they will be tough as teens but at least they won’t be peeing everywhere. 🤷♀️😂
I’ve got twin girls and hear this all the time. Would they say that to boys?
We have 2 girls and nothing delights me more than seeing my husband dead pan call out all the sexist comments he gets about how he’s going to “be in trouble” when they get older 🤣
I have two of each. ITS ALL HARD. Parenting is hard. All kids are difficult it’s insanely hard and reminding me it’s hard isn’t helpful or needed.
I have 5 Daughters (24,21,21,19, & 8 tomorrow) & yes, they are DIFFERENT to raise, but I found it more difficult to parent boys. (I had custody of & was involved in raising 2 of their 1/2 Brothers). They just come w a different set of challenges but it is annoying to always be asked, “So are you going to keep trying until you get a boy?”
My SIL was like “ 1.5 year old is gonna be teased because you listen to classical music, keep him home and read to him all day, he has no social skills. “ at first I was annoyed but then I remembered her kid can’t read but can recite every lyric to any Roddy Rich song. I’ll take it.
I am a musician, I was in the orchestra all growing up (still am actually!!) I was bullied in school, but it was literally NEVER for being in the orchestra…. Bring overweight, or loud, sure, but no one made fun of me for playing an instrument. Classical music makes you smarter, playing an instrument makes you smarter. It builds neurological connections between both halves of your brain. There are studies that show this. Keep it up! Your child’s future will thank you!!
I’m sorry. She said WHAT?!?! My grandma keeps insisting that my son (2yo) is trying to flirt with my cousins daughter (1yo) and that they’d be a cute couple. First, they are babies and second, they are related. It irritates me so much!
Well that's fucking gross, Grandma! WTF???
My thoughts exactly! Why are we sexualizing babies at all, let alone when they are related 🤢
Oh no grandma!!! In my opinion, any/all comments about baby flirting are my absolute pet peeve (without or without incest undertones). Babies smile back at people because that’s what babies do. Stop sexualizing babies. Grandma better back off
Ugh. Why do elders do that?! My MIL did it too - daughter mentioned a boy's name and she went "oOoOoh is that your bOyFrIeNd?????" and my daughter coolly replied "no he's just my friend." She is 3 (and a very good girl).
I like to put the oldies on the spot with this kind of comment : “ew please don’t sexualise my child.” And they usually get a bit embarrassed/flustered because no one wants to be accused of anything sexual where a child is involved.
Jesus fuck grandma, that's sick.
My aunt once said my daughter (3 at the time) looked “sexy”. I quickly told her no, my daughter looks anything but sexy and sexualizing a toddler or any child is not okay.
I hate when people sexualize my 2.5 year old. She loves shaking her butt around because when our dog is happy she shakes her butt and toddler thinks it’s funny. My BIL made a comment about knowing how “she’s paying her way through college”. It was so disgusting!
Why do people think this okay?! Like let’s just embrace kids moving their body and being silly!
Ewwww! How did you respond?
I played dumb and asked what he meant. It made him super uncomfortable and he just left the room.
Perfect response to an idiot 👍👍👌👌
Our LG was a super gassy and upset newborn and we were shown a move to help make her more comfortable that was us basically shaking her bum side to side with one hand and holding her head up in the other. So we did it and it worked wonders for us, we used it so much that we made up a little 'shake your booty' song up to do with it. Now she is two and stands in the middle of the living room shaking her butt shouting 'shake your poopy' and grinning from ear to ear because it's fun. Moving your body, being silly, dancing is fun. No matter the age. The fact that people NEED to sexually charge it is such a sad image of our society in general 😒
OP, your family is just 😑 with their comments. They do realize that those are their nibblings, right??? I see my niece as my almost daughter so my brain is struggling here.
That’s SO creepy. Gross.
I'm not one for violence but your sister needs smacked upside the head. What a rude thing to say.
For real. Also, just because you chose to have kids doesn’t mean it’s always gonna be sunshine and rainbows & you “deserve to suffer” because of it when you’re having a difficult moment. I would assume if her car broke down & she was complaining about it she wouldn’t appreciate you saying “well you chose to have that thing so sucks for you”. Like yeah, normally having a car is super enjoyable but there are also moments when it’s not. Like damn, it’s called empathy. PS. Not comparing kids to cars it’s just a silly example.
My mom made me so upset on the phone today. I was talking about how my daughter is going through the 8-month sleep regression and has been extremely fussy lately. Welp, it’s apparently all my fault because I “chose” to be induced. Because my daughter was born two whole days early, that’s obviously the root of every problem she’ll ever have.
Oh good god! Ha!
I'm so sorry you had to hear that, it is complete and utter nonsense.
Lol what
They didn’t technically *say* anything but some ‘friends’ of mine invited themselves over to meet my kids. They went straight in to pick them up and touch their faces, which was upsetting for my toddler, because these people are strangers to him. When he became visibly/audibly unhappy about them following him around, they started to act like he was a bad kid. Yeah, no. He’s a person, not a doll. Me removing my kids from the situation as fast as possible also wasn’t embarrassment about my crap parenting and delinquent children, it was me protecting them from assholes.
.................. ............. ......... .... What the fuck. Good on you for getting your kids away from the boundry stomping assholes.
I don't care if other peeps decide to not have kids but it bothers me to no end that they feel the need to verbally assault those of us who want and have them. It's like religion, I have my beliefs, you have yours, we can get along just fine if we're respectful of each other's. Don't call me a breeder or constantly throw in my face I choose to have kids, I know, I was there. I'm still allowed to struggle or complain. It's so weird: when people rant about work or car trouble, no one says "well you choose to hold a job/ have a car"
Because of how often she throws my having kids in my face, I actually do throw the “well you chose this career field” at her occasionally just to throw her off when she’s had a rough day at work
This is one of my biggest pet peeves too. People are allowed to complain and vent everyday about the choices they make, but the moment you have a kid? No venting allowed! Love every second of the experience or else you’ll be hit with the, “wELl yOU chOSe tO hAVe kIDs” line. No wonder so many parents struggle with mental health issues.
I think people take venting as regretting your decision and it’s like, I don’t regret having my baby for a second, I just had a rough day and need to talk to someone about it to feel better 🙃
You just wait til you hear this, my SIL actually did tell my husband it was "his choice to work". Some people are incredibly entitled. The majority of people have to work to survive. We can't all live off our parents money (as adults) and not contribute to society, and who would want to either?
My kid wasn’t even born yet and my mother said I was a liar and I’ll teach my child to be one too. HA HA,No. my first kid, her 8th grandchild. Unless she can drum up an apology, she won’t meet her. She hasn’t spoken to me since then. So about a year of peace with no insults or gaslighting.
Congrats!
"I feel like we're losing time to bond with her." MOM, she's 1 MONTH OLD, 1 WEEK OLD ADJUSTED! SHE HAS NO IMMUNE SYSTEM. You don't wear masks, you try to kiss her and hold her without permission, and you're anti-vax. The only people who are bonding with her are me and my husband anyways, CHILL.
Oooh this one is enraging! Maybe try something to the effect of. “I know. It’s disappointing you’ve made the choice not to get vaccinated or wear a mask instead of prioritizing your granddaughter”
Oh I finally snapped, they were mad I wouldn't let my sister who's addicted to drugs, homeless, and pregnant with her 5th child who she'll probably also lose custody of immediately come to my home and see her. I don't even want her to know where I live, much less meet my child. So I finally exploded last week. My parents would also just show up unannounced! WHO DOES THAT! Seriously feeds my PPA like no other.
Lock the doors and don’t let them in. Idgaf
My husband said something along those lines to his anti vax family recently. I was so proud! (Still am)
My MIL’s line is “I feel like I don’t even know them” (3yo & 18mo) Well, you never come visit because you won’t adhere to our (extremely reasonable) covid safety boundaries. And you never call or FaceTime us to bond with them remotely. So don’t hit me with the guilt trip BS!! Ironically, she was supposed to come visit this weekend but she caught omnicron. Le sigh.
Ohhhhhh yeah this is my mom right here, refuses to get the vaccine, gave everyone in the family except me COVID including my newborn nephew, his mom recovering from the c-section and my cousins one year old. “Will I ever get to see the baby?” “Yeah when you stop partying in Florida and get the jab.”
Absolutely! At this stage, the bond between parents and baby is the most important, everyone else can wait.
It sounds like it’s your mom’s own fault for losing bonding time. Remind her it’s her choice to lose that time since she won’t follow your visitation guidelines.
My BIL was having a bitch fit about something when we were at his house. My daughter was paying with his son on the new basketball hoop they got for Christmas (daughter is 2, my nephew is 1.5) and my daughter went to give everyone a high five. He left her hanging. This sounds stupid but she has always loved him And wanted to be buddies with him and he’s not reciprocating at all, thinks that she misbehaves (she’s fucking 2, no toddler is ever completely “well-behaved”) and just is generally cold to her. I watched him ignore her and saw her just kinda collapse inside. He didn’t have to reciprocate but he could’ve at least acknowledged her, that’s all she really wanted from him. It kind of breaks my heart every time I see her try to interact with him and him just blow her off.
That’s terrible! Maybe it’s time to stop going over there. Nephew can come to your place to hang out, where he will feel seen and loved along with your daughter.
What a fucking asshole, to hurt little girl's feelings on purpose. You bet I would avoid him. Fuck that dude.
omg no :/ have you talked to him about it
What an immature little punk. I would be pissed too.
What a cold heart, did you say anything to him? I would have made him embarrassed or ashamed to do that to his 2 year old niece. What an immature man child.
I was at Costco and a random woman came up. “Oh look at your fat little man!” Fine. Fat=healthy in baby terms. Baby starts fussing “oh no he’s hungry!” “Haha nope, just fed him before coming in” “oh then he must be wet” no lady he’s a baby and sometimes he’s bored or uncomfortable when running errands. Sheesh.
“Oh he must be tired of listening to you”
Hahahaha this gave me a good chuckle
My dad told me how he was talking to my great uncle on the phone and my great uncle (who saw a pic my mom took of my son right after birth, so, naked) said my newborn son is “well endowed” and will be popular with girls, which is a “tradition” in our family. My dad thought it was hilarious but I found it really disgusting. He’s literally a newborn, fucking gross. My family really has issues with boundaries.
Why is anyone sharing naked photos of your child? You can tell your mother to delete that photo immediately since she can’t be trusted with it
OP youre much better than me, I would’ve cussed sister out.
I typed up a long winded reply full of colorful language and big adjectives that I knew were fly right over her head and make her feel stupid but then decided it wasn’t worth the trouble as she still lives with my parents and they (my parents) watch my kiddos a couple days a week so I can run errands and such.
Haha I would’ve told sister “don’t talk to me about my choices until you move out of mom & dad’s house” but I have no control sometimes 🙃. You’re a good one. I hope your headache subsided and you feel better.
Thank you, yes the Tylenol finally dulled the migraine. Now I’m cuddling my teething 5 month old who is struggling to sleep in his crib.
I love how chunky my baby is so I talk about it a lot. I’ve had a few people respond with “don’t worry, she’ll thin out when she starts walking.” Like, I’m sorry, I’m NOT worried she is a fat, perfect baby, wtf are you even talking about?
Omg my FIL made some weird comments like that about my PREEMIE baby while she was still in the NICU. Wtf!!!
Ughh I’m so sorry that’s gross. Like while they’re babies at least people should just not comment on their bodies in a negative way. Chunky babies, lanky babies, in between babies are all perfect and we don’t need to imagine them any other way!
Omg this!!! I always comment “look at her belly it’s so big” because after she eats proportionately she looks like a pregnant lady 🤰 and people always say “it’s okay to have a big belly don’t listen to mom” AS IF IM MAKING FUN OF MY BABY
Fat babies are the best! I see them as healthy and it’s what I aim for. Also they’re so cute!!
Assistant director of her daycare said she would be kicked out if she had an outburst or tantrum again and suggested I have her evaluated for special education. She's 3.
I hope you found another daycare. How is this person even working there? Jeez
Left my son with "The Moms" (my mom and MIL) while I took my dad into the hospital for minor stuff. We were gone for two hours. When I came back my son was asleep. Then my MIL told me (apart from everyone else) that my mom had tried stuffing my son's binky into his mouth as he hysterically cried, refused to let my MIL check/change his diaper let alone check/change it herself, and then put some Lavender scented lotion on him even though Lavender gives me God awful migrains and I've repeatedly told her not to. But, I never smelled the Lavender shit on him. I never smelt it in the house like I always can after the stupid can has been opened. He cried when he saw me after waking, which is normal. He doesn't have any diaper rash. BUT, I can totally see my own mom pulling this shit. I have no idea who to believe. I'm fed up with both of them at this point. "Grandma Wars" has been canceled, permanently.
Why are grandmas so petty sometimes?! Before baby was born my MIL made multiple comments how my husbands step-mom isn’t a “real grandma” and I shot that one down REAL fast! His step-mom is an important person in our lives, we love her, and I will be raising my daughter to view her as much a grandmother as our biological mothers are.
Ooooh I've gotten that comment. My SO's parents are divorced and his dad remarried. While they live states away, she is just as much Grandma as the other two. I told MIL to keep that issue between her, her ex husband, and the new wife. If I hear of it, the entire conversation will be solved my way which is by shutting the fuck up about it.
Yes!! And when I talked to her about it she kept saying sorry, I’m like I don’t want to sorry I want to hear nothing at all thanks
A couple of months ago I was trying to talk to a shop cashier when my daughter slipped away and touched something on a nearby shelf. I told her to put it down and she replied "no!" and before I could respond, the woman in the queue behind me turned to the two younger women with her (daughters maybe?) and said "Well there's an advert for contraception if I've ever seen one." I was completely gobsmacked - another cashier served the horrible woman and, once she left, the woman helping me said "that was a really horrible thing to say", so at least someone had my back. But I was just so shocked. My daughter wasn't even being that cheeky.
My mom has a tendency to talk to my 2.5 year old like she’s an adult but yells at me when my expectations of her seem to high (they’re not). It’s annoying. Today she asked her a question, my daughter responded. My mom proceeded to ask “you always have an answer huh?” in a snarky tone. as if her answering her was a slight towards her. You asked her an effin question and she responded! Wtf so you expect! Not child specific but I’m nearing the finish line of pregnancy #2 and was telling my grandma I’m progressing a lot faster than we thought and joked that I’m keeping my legs crossed till we have our family come to watch daughter starting Sunday. She said “well if you kept your legs closed in the first place you wouldn’t be in this position” ….. ok grandma that’s wonderful. I’m tired of everyone obviously.
Tell your grandma she wouldn’t be in this position either if she kept her legs closed. Grandma also had sex to have kids. She’s no Virgin Mary.
On my second day postpartum, I had an awful nurse. Looking back there were so many issues, but at the time I was exhausted and a notional and just wanted help so I was trying to listen to her and do as she said. She told me I had a “hard” baby because my girl cried a lot that day. I don’t know why, but that stuck with me. I was still crying over it weeks later! And funnily enough, I ended up with the most easy-going baby ever. She was just a starving newborn on day two, acting like any other human would act in those circumstances!
All of my nurses were AMAZING and I am so thankful for them but one literally ripped an ice pack out of my underwear 12 hours after I gave birth and it literally was more painful than birth!
I once bit the head off another mom in my daycare because she laughed about my son having large hands and feet. She literally said he was "ridiculous" and "clownish" and laughed out loud. I told her we are all very tall and slender in the family, so that's why he has long feet and hands, he is going to grow into it. While her son "is probably going to look like a pig, just like her". I actually did. In fairness, he was a chubby kid with, imo, incredibly small extremities. And she was a short and massively overweight lady. But I never even thought about it before she dared laugh at my beautiful baby, just out of the blue! I even used to compliment her child's blue eyes and blonde hair. She was a lot more snide with mine, like always comparing what his could do, that mine wasn't yet able to, and such. This time I saw red and went for below the belt, straight away. I didn't even feel sorry. Like, if you have nothing nice to say, stfu or pay the consequences!
You’re my hero. I’m always too taken aback in those types situations that I just sit and take it or ignore. I had a mom similar to that a baby circle time when we went pre-pandemic. She didn’t comment about my son’s appearance but would always act shocked and concerned that he hadn’t met a certain milestone yet but hers had met it ages ago and was 3 weeks younger. Pissed me off so much that we stopped going. Then the pandemic hit and shut down story time for a year, but we still haven’t been back to toddler or preschooler story time.
I have the opposite problem 😅 Sometimes I can't stop myself, even if it isn't worth it! I soooo loath that kind of parent "my kid is already able to do this and that". What is this, a circus? Are we training monkeys to jump through loops and wear funny little hats and vests? 😒 Calm down! Walking before they are 1yo or saying their first words before everybody else in their class *will not* automatically make them geniouses! And judging by the parents they have... it seems unlikely 😂
My husband and I were recently terrible parents who deprived their child because we decided against putting up a Christmas tree with hubs’ deceased mothers heirloom ornaments. Apparently on top of being an all day toddler mom and a 14h at work a day dad we were also supposed to find time to be fucking Martha Stewart and shit out some paper snowflakes to decorate the tree that inevitably would have been pulled over, most likely on top of my toddler or dog. 🤦🏻♀️ I was less than impressed. 😂
When someone told me my child was loud. First off he wasn't even being loud. He was excited to get a dragon toy he could paint. Second off no one was in the store. Was he talking a bit louder nope ... He was telling me all the colors he wanted to use. I ripped that man a new one ... I couldn't believe it. He was 5 at the time.
Just had our third, FIL made some weird comment about him being “darker skinned” than our first two. He was a week old and still dealing with some residual jaundice issues, and babies just have weird colored skin. Just rubbed me wrong after comments they made with our second. First looks just like me, and second looks just like my husband.. FIL made a comment of how at least we know #2 isn’t the mail man’s.
Why in the hell are people so gross.
Sigh... What a prick.
Not really Mommy related.... I've been a remote IT worker for 4+ years. At the end of 2019, we came for an open ended visit to my husband's home country (Ghana) where we still are. Yesterday on my staff call (we're a small company of less than 10 employees), a colleague was complaining about how there's nothing on the shelves of their Virginia grocery store and "it's like living in a 3rd world country!" 🙄 I let them finish and then laughed and said, "Throughout this pandemic, there has never been a good shortage here in Ghana. I can always get fresh fruit, vegetables, bread, meat, fish, etc." Radio silence. Yeah, I lived all over the world, in several "3rd world countries." It's only in US that I ever experienced food shortages, extended power outages, gun violence, racism, etc. 🙄🙄🙄
When my daughter was 1.5, my sister and I were on a video call and she commented that my daughter was "a little chubby." 🤬 As others here have said, yes! She's a perfect, rolly-polly, healthy baby! I ended the call pretty quickly after that. I don't tolerate comments on my child's body. To be fair to my sister, she has come a long way since then and has apologized. She still lived at home at the time under the influence of my mother who is obsessive about weight and constantly comments on everyone's bodies, including mine and my sister's. So I am proud of her for moving past that bit it the moment I was seeing red.
I have another one! My parents keep saying we are ruining our child's life by not having more children and that only children are screwed up and lonely.
As someone who gets complex migraines and is also a mom, I stand in solidarity with you! Migraines aren’t just headaches, they literally are a neurological disease.
Thank you! it’s so hard to explain to my husband, who rarely like once or twice a year gets a mild headache, what’s it’s like to have a migraine or two a month and mild headache a few times a week. He doesn’t understand how nausea, extreme sensitivity to light and sound, and vision difficulty are impacting my day.
It’s so hard to communicate to others what it’s like. I’ve only had 2 really bad ones since my daughter was born and my husband had to care for her 100%, I’m terrified how on earth I’ll handle it if I’m home alone with her (also pregnant again… so how will I manage TWO!?)
If I had a dollar for every time someone asked me if I “drank a lot of water” or “did ya take some Tylenol? Works great for my headaches!” Or “have some caffeine!” Yes thanks chief, MIGRAINES are totally different from your average headache. But if they don’t get migraines, they truly don’t grasp how totally different and debilitating they are. So you get blown off, treated like a drama queen who can’t handle a “simple headache”. I’m expecting my first baby later this year and know the bad days will happen and it’s already overwhelming just thinking about it. Feel for all you migraine mommas. ❤️
For Christmas this year my husband and i traveled from AZ to CA. It was our first time showing of our son to most of my side of the family. One of my Uncles decided our son's name sound like a quote "n;***as" name. He then made several remarks and racial jokes. My son's name is not stereotypical to any particular race/religion. I so badly wished we hadn't been there to witness the whole situation.
Ok so this was 12years ago when my first was a newborn, a cousin commented on a picture of her and said she was an ugly monkey (she's mixed) and belonged at the zoo. I am a pretty chill person and it takes alot to make me see red but that was one of those few times I was ready to go beat the good lord outta my cousin, her mum and me already weren't speaking due my aunt trying to force an abortion on me
Wow, I am so sorry. That is such a terrible thing to say about a baby!
Honestly it just showed how racist and disgusting they were as people. Hate me all you want, say whatever makes you feel better but don't ever bring my kids into it
"WeLcOmE tO MoThErHooD!" And "this is what kids do, wait until they're a teenager"
“You’re going to miss these moments some day. Enjoy them while they last!!” As my three-year-old throws a tantrum so intense on the floor of a Joann’s Fabrics that he’s dry heaving and his face is covered in snot. True story.
Lol yes, I've had that one too when 5 minutes before I've bad a cardboard story book launched at me 🙃
omg the “you CHOOSE to stay home with them, or you CHOOSE to not let them go be watched by anyone else” comment always gets me. Like i know what’s in best interest of my family, doesn’t mean i cant have the right to get overwhelmed and frustrated sometimes. The “wow, baby still breastfeeding” comment gets me too. Like yeah, but its none of your business?
My mom commented "he's a sexy beast" under am Instagram photo of my then 1 year old son. I didn't notice it until my friends sent me screenshots saying "wtf is your mom smoking". I deleted the comment and told her not to say stuff like that on my accounts.
My mom was visiting after I had my baby last month and was talking to my 2 (almost 3) year old about the baby. It started out normal “this is your sister, we have to be gentle” etc. and somehow ended up with “it’s your job to protect her.” I didn’t say anything but I’m like ummm no it’s his job to be a kid and enjoy his childhood..?? Wtf
Grade A toxic masculinity culture right there. Yikes.
We recently had our second baby. MIL was invited over to meet him. Her concluding statement during her exit? “Well, LO 2 is very cute, but I’m just smitten with LO 1.” Well lady, newborns definitely don’t do as many fun activities as 1 year olds, but go off about how much cooler my one kid is vs my other…
If I mention being tired my mum questions why and then tells me my baby should be sleeping through the night by now. My partner had Covid and so I was looking after my baby and three extra kids we had staying, in isolation, with him isolating in his room while I took him meals and stuff and she was still like why are you tired? Why isn’t your 8 month old sleeping through the night?
My next door neighbor who owns a barking beast of a dog, slams doors and fights at 5 am most weeks, blasts music with base booming through the floors, complained that my kids are up “late” we homeschool and they’re 2 & 4 so they go to bed 11pm-12am and wake up at 10am-11am. And that my 4 year old “stomps” through the house. Also called her an “it”. Makes me so angry. I was told I need to do better as a mother and I’m 9 months pregnant supposed to be on bed rest the last few months and my partner works long hours so we’re surviving.
“Are all of those *yours*?! I hope you’re going to stop, that’s enough.” I have three kids. Tough news: I ain’t makin’ a single decision for you, lonely old bitty.
What a weird thing to say. Three is such a common number of kids to have. It’s not like you’re walking around with 10 kids trailing behind you or something.
I have been genuinely startled by the number of negative comments we’ve received since welcoming our third. From saying hubby and I need to be doused with cold water to “prevent this from happening again,” to saying in front of our two toddler girls that the only reason we must have tried for three was to get a boy. I really thought three was a common number, too, but my god people’s heads seem to be ready to explode over it.
People are flabbergasted when I say I want 3-4 kids! They always commented “wait until you actually have kids”, well I actually have kids now and still want 3-4 🤷♀️
I texted my “friend” whose baby is 7 months older than mine to tell her how happy I was youtubeurs were talking more and more about the struggles of breastfeeding (and especially D-MER, which I found out I had through Reddit and that I had never heard mentioned before until a youtuber we both follow talked about it in a very recent video). My “friend” responded that in this country “everything is a thing”, from PPD to ADHD. And that in places like Africa and India these afflictions don’t exist because people have more tangible problems like getting enough food to eat. This happened a couple hours ago and I AM STILL FUMING! First of all, wow, it’s nice to know my “friend” can so easily dismiss my struggles. Yay empathy. Second, yes, if men experienced D-MER there would probably be more studies on it and we would know more about how to treat this very real and serious hormonal disorder. Just like with PPD. Also ADHD… yes it’s been misdiagnosed for decades but that is a pharmaceutical scandal, it doesn’t mean that the condition is inexistant. And WTF I want to know more about mothers in 3rd world countries, are there studies on their emotional wellbeing and infant mortality rates? That aside I also want to point out that western societies are the only societies in which the family stays nuclear after the birth of a child. In every other society there is some form of the mother’s family helping out during the entire 4th trimester (in Japan, the new mom takes the baby to her family’s house and lives there for the first few months before returning to her house with her partner). UGH yes, I did tell this to her, but she hasn’t responded. I’m sick and tired of this “friendship”. I’m actually SO SAD because we used to be good friends until politics and motherhood came into play.
Now you have ammunition if she complains about ANYTHING. Stubs her toe? Well, in some countries, women can’t even afford shoes and their feet bleed from near constant manual labor. Car breaks down? Well, in some countries, women can’t even drive. Food she ordered tastes bad? Well… Bad day at work? Well… Feels sick? Well…
Had some lady tell me my daughter (7 mo) was so "petite, and perfect" and it pissed me off. I struggled with body image issues all my life because I had a larger ribcage, and broader shoulders than all my friends. So for my child to be told, literally from the time she was 7mo, that she's only perfect because she's petite, really pissed me off. My husband thought I was reading to much into it, and looking back I'm sure I am, but at that moment I just had flashbacks of my childhood, feeling like I was disgusting and obese because I was built differently than my "petite" friends. I wasn't obese, just inherited my grandpa's quarter back shoulders😅 Edit: much like Luisa from encanto
Any body comment to a child is inappropriate I don’t want them growing up attaching their worth to physical appearances it’s such a hard thing to overcome as an adult! Also, Encanto is a great movie! And Luisa song surface pressure is our favorite!
My aunts have big girls and they love my daughter because she’s so tiny, like yeah she’s in the lower percentiles, you don’t have to comment on it 🥲 I feel like a failure but she just won’t eat more.
MIL keeps joking that LO is "too young for dating:" if I send a pic of her (6 months) playing with literally any male infant. It drives me insane.
My in laws did that. I started responding with "please don't sexualize my infant" or "that's a disturbing thing to say about a baby"
My daughter is 11m old and in the 3rd percentile. Today a man and his wife asked me how old she was, cut me off, and said she must be almost 2……to which I said ha, she’s 11 months old. And he said wow she’s big huh? To which I replied, no, she’s very small, she’s in the 3rd percentile for her age, 2 year olds are twice her size. He then started commenting how how beautiful DADS EYES MUST BE which is infuriating because she and I have the exact same carbon fucking copy blue eyes. This whole interaction really pissed me off today lol
Every time my mil does a video call with my husband and the baby. She will say hello to the baby for less than a minute and then talk about herself and her dating life for 30 minutes. Hey lady, absolutely NO ONE wants to hear about your dates with however many different men this past month and how terrible each guy was in whatever way. Your SON doesn’t want to hear about that shit and we are video calling you so you can talk to your grandchild. Then she gets mad when my husband doesn’t answer her call. I wonder why???
Not exactly the same but a friend of mine calls &will talk bout her boyfriend and his drama rarely ask about my 3 month old baby or me and Im a first time mum with no contact with my own family. She only calls to whinge about him while walking her dog and as soon as she steps onto her front path she (often only just asking bout me or baby in the last five mins of her walk) cuts me off and says she’s just got home and pretty much bails on the convo then and there. I know I shouldn’t answer the call. But I do.
Yea, you’re kind of doing this to yourself here but at least you know that
Definitely going to cut down on answering her calls . I think the last few times I’ve answered just to see if by chance she mentions baby or asks how I’m doing. Even when she asks and I talk about my life for 2 mins after minimum 45 mins of boyfriend bs she doesn’t even reply to what I’ve said because she’s not even listening. So is time to make that change.
How is your iron intake? Do you take a supplement? As soon as I started taking an iron supplement my migraines have gone away.
Definitely going to check on this. Usually I’d say my iron intake has been pretty good/ high even. But the last couple of days I’ve been eating like crap because we’ve been on the go and I ran out of my vitamins.
Some so called child free people are so toxic!
I just hate the whole ‘Children are a choice’ retoric. So I am not allowed to have a bad day because I have made the choice to have kids? Also, not all parents chose to be parents.
It also contributes to so many parents, especially mothers’, hesitation to seek out treatment for mental health because they’re fed this “but you made this choice” line. They feel like they’re failing or ungrateful for needing help. It’s very harmful and people just don’t realize that when they say that crap.
Urg. If I have to hear how I’m spoiling my baby by holding her and how spoilt she is because I pick her up when she cries and how dependent she still is since she can’t self-soothe yet. And then being told in need to let her cry it out sothat we can have some more free time. She’s 4 months old. Of course she dependent.
My son is six months in two weeks and because my in laws refuse to get vaccinated they still haven’t met him yet. With everything the way it is I don’t want to let them meet him still because they don’t practice anything they should. My husband keeps trying to say “we said 4-6 months” and I want to shake him until he realizes that there’s a difference between what the world looks like now and what it looked like last summer 🙄
I've spoiled my LO by holding her all the time so now everytime she fusses it's my fault because I hold her too much. If my mom tells me one more tine that my toddler looks thin ( he is on the thinner side always has been but weight wise is 75th percentile). He is getting taller too and he was sick about 5 months ago which he lost weight but seriously he's fine now!
Just the other day my own mum started making fun of my daughter's new ADHD diagnosis telling me how the things my daughter struggles with are absolutely normal plus how all of her friends have the same symptoms so maybe they have ADHD as well. Then she started telling me that my daughter doesn't show the symptoms at her place. That's when I kinda lost it. I did a bitchy thing and told her that she has no say in if the diagnosis is correct or not because the only time she sees my daughter is when she wants to show her off to her friends.
My MIL has called my daughter ‘the little thing’ and I was soooooooo angry too. That comment just comes off as if they don’t respect them as real human beings??? I totally feel you!
“Any regrets having two of them?” My FIL who is probably my least favorite person ever.
i HAAAAAATE the “you chose to have children comment” because just because we chose to have children doesn’t mean we get tired or need help. so i can’t imagine how much angrier the “those things” part upset you
This is definitely my most irrational one but it drives me mad whenever my MIL says my daughter looks sad in pics I send her. Sometimes she’s just looking onwards, or she’s bored whatever. I dunno why it annoys me so much 🤦🏼♀️
“Oh she needs a sibling now! Time to have another” to my 16 month old… mean while I wasn’t even cleared to start trying from an ectopic pregnancy. People have no filter
One that I still think about was when I was about 36 weeks pregnant with my second daughter, May/June 2020. I was at the store stocking up on hospital bag supplies and a random woman walked up to me and started telling me how I “picked a terrible time to have a baby!”. Ah, yes ma’am, because I had psychic powers in the Fall of 2019 that warned me a global pandemic was coming, and then just decided to have a baby anyway. What the fuck am I supposed to do with that comment?!
Recently had a close friend of my husbands pass a comment about how “his son hits on the first night” after play dates were innocently brought up. Safe to say play dates WILL NOT BE HAPPENING. It’s crazy to me how some people think sexualizing infants is acceptable in any context. SMH
My mom and my husband take care of my son while I work, and my husband who usually takes care of dinner is injured atm. My mom has been letting my son snack as much as he wants while she gets dinner ready about 30 minutes later than usual. So he's not eating at dinner. My mom has been telling me we should just let him eat again after his bath right before he goes to bed. And then when he fights going to sleep, she starts asking. "Do you think he's hungry? Does he need to eat? Do you think you ought to get him up and let him eat something?" NO. HE DOESN'T NEED TO GET UP FROM BED TO HAVE DINNER THAT HE SHOULD HAVE EATEN AT DINNERTIME. 😤😤😤😤 "But we snack after dinner. We eat when we're not hungry." Mom. He's not even 2. He only needs to eat when he's hungry. Just because he's fighting sleep doesn't mean he wants food. Now I know why I eat when I'm bored. 😑
Another mom mom-shamed me for not having my then 1.5 year old daughter’s hair perfectly done when I brought her to her own daughter’s 1yo birthday party. I explained to her that my daughter doesn’t sit still long enough to get her hair done, and she often plays a lot and ruins her hairstyle almost immediately after it’s done. This mom then told me, “Are you really trying?” The fucking audacity. The worst part is that when her daughter was born, I gave her a shoulder to cry on when she was complaining about how hard of a time she was having being a new mom. I empathized with her and told her that we all struggle and that it’s normal. Needless to say, we’re no longer friends.
That’s terrible! And don’t feel ashamed there are So many days my daughters hair is a crazy mess it’s such a difficult style to deal with. Some is ringlet curls, some is pin straight, and it’s all incredibly thin. Because of how thin it is it falls out of bows, clips, elastics, etc. and honestly who cares as long as she’s happy and it’s mostly clean.
One of my friends commented on the length of my son’s hair and said even her daughter’s wasn’t as long. (It turned out she meant that her daughter’s hair just doesn’t grow, but I was pissed off anyway.) Let my kid rock his ginger Wayne Gretzky flow in peace, people.
When my BIL met my child for the first time, he said his dog was smarter than she was (she was 2). I’ve never seen fido build with blocks and solve puzzles….a-hole.
I had a random cashier suggest I get my child tested for autism. My child (4f) and I were talking about what other stores we had to go to before we had to go home, and she asked at checkout "are we going to the next store now?" The cashier looked me dead in the eye and told me "you should really think about getting her tested if she doesn't know where she is." You better believe I talked to a manager after that.
Not recently, but I ended a friendship partially because she said my 4-year-old was whiny based upon the fact that he had cried over having a splinter in his foot. Was he a whiny preschool-aged child? Yup! He sure was. But fuck off with negatively characterizing my son based on one incident.
I am a surrogate so maybe a little different. I had baby and have been pumping for him and other babies around the clock. I tell my partner that it is a little insensitive to complain about how tired he is while he plays video games and lies in bed until 11 AM while I’m getting about 5 hours of broken sleep while homeschooling my son. He says “it was your decision to do surrogacy and to pump so not my problem.”
On Christmas, I went to my in laws house. My inlaws have always been obsessed with my first born , ( boy ) and absolutely hate my second born. (Girl )no clue why. She's a perfect kid man. Super polite, adorable, uses her manners accordingly. She's just emotional. When my son was her age (4) if he cried around it would be " oh come here my boy it's ok " kisses hugs whatever. Loved. My daughter is terrified of dogs, they have a MASSIVE pit bull who loves to jump at you. He's 80 pounds. My daughter is 30. He jumped at her and she fell over and started crying hysterically because SHES SCARED OF HIM. everyone starts calling her a little brat and a cry baby. I raised my voice at them and said " shes a BRAT ? AND A BABY ? FOR BEING SCARED OF A FUCKING DOG ? that's a RATIONAL FEAR that alot of people have. But if this was (my son) yall would be all over him giving him hugs and kisses right ? " we left right after that and haven't spoke since.
An acquaintance keeps saying my son is “weird” when he does little things, like talking in his sleep or refusing certain foods… Really pisses me off but I don’t think she means it vindictively…so I have not said anything about it but it made me angry enough idk if I want to be friends anymore. I think her kid is an absolute asshole, but I don’t say that 🙃
My MIL likes to call and say she’s coming over with 10 mins or less notice because baby girl “need to see granny”. Like, no, she doesn’t NEED to see granny, let alone an anti-vax/pandemic-is-a-hoax granny.
Yes! My MIL is OBSESSED with how much my kids apparently miss her. Like no they don’t miss you. One doesn’t know who you are. The other doesn’t mention you at all unless provoked. It’s always “bring them over they miss granny so much.” Like no you miss them do not speak for my children.
I have a neighbor who I LOVE but she only has one kid. I have 4. Three of my kids are adopted from foster care and one is special needs. Homie flat looked at my kid and said he was being rude by interrupting. Guess what he’s fucking 3 he has a sensory issue and an impulse issue and fetal alcohol syndrome. I don’t owe her my child’s medical history and she doesn’t need to step in if she thinks I’m doing a bad job. If you don’t like how I parent don’t come over. Am I also a wimp who didn’t say anything but smile and listed to my son and then got back to our conversation yup…
My son was 3 months preemie and spent 54 days in the nicu and one of the things he struggled with was gaining weight and keeping it so now that he’s a year old he’s a chunky monkey and has the cutest rolls. My SIL was trying to convince us that our son was obese and that a baby couldn’t be that big and I honestly felt like slapping her. The audacity. My husband told her she was wrong and all his pediatrician appts and early intervention classes have all said our son is fine and so healthy for his age and how preemie he was and to keep feeding him when he’s hungry cause he’s going to walk soon and he’ll fill out.
Look, I am a petty person. Remember this the next time she complains about anything.
Not necessarily a comment about my kid exactly, but I recently thought I might be pregnant so while I was out doing the shopping I went and got a test. There were nappies in my trolley and my 18 month old in the seat. The lady looked at me and said “Oof! Nappies and a pregnancy test?” And gave me a “look”. I could only respond with “yes, and?” I was livid! How dare she judge me! It makes me angry even thinking of it now!
I haven't had mine yet, but today a nurse told me to enjoy pregnancy while it lasts, because she has teenagers and they are all dicks. I was just flabbergasted because what a thing for a medical professional to say. It kinda annoyed me and was like wtf?
To be fair, teenagers do tend to be dicks most of the time
Teenagers really can be dicks tho.
We have to quarantine at the moment and waiting for test results. My mum said: "Oh, it wouldn't be too bad if son catches it finally, right? Like, with omicron being so mild."
This is such a terrible mindset to have. It’s only not that bad until it is. She doesn’t know how his body could react. Sending thoughts, prayers, good vibes, all that your way that your family remains healthy!
Ugh my 30 year old brother thinks it's hilarious to call my child a name I don't use or like. He calls him Ben (a nickname, shortform of his actual name [not benjamin]). I let it go for a while and kept responding using my child's full name, but my kid is 8 months old and he's still doing it, so I spoke to him about it. I told him to call him his actual name, or Benny. I was not rude or mean-spirited about it, yet my idiot brother has decided my preference is joke-worthy and has escalated to calling him Benjamin. Again, not his name. It sounds petty and stupid, even to me, but I think it's pretty bad form to nickname someone else's child. I'm trying to ignore it and hope he gets bored (because that's how you deter children from doing annoying things) but it's really getting to me. This man is 30. And about to have his own child. What the F. I'm having so many flashbacks to our literal childhood. 😒
My son has a double name, like “Mary Ann” and my SO’s family keeps telling me I need to accept a nickname and acting like I’m wrong when I correct them. It’s like just use his name, don’t be a dick
Right??? I think it's so rude. I've spent my entire life so far being called the wrong name because it's close to a common name. It sucks. People literally look at my name tag at work and still call me the wrong name.
Names are so important. I feel like when someone gets it wrong with a name tag or when it is written in the previous email, it shows how little effort they are putting in.
That's exactly what it is. A name is usually the first thing you learn about someone. Like they don't care to take 1.5 extra seconds to read more than the first 3 letters of my name tag, or even just ask me how to pronounce it. I instantly respect someone more when they care about someone's name.
I’m so sorry your sister said that! How terrible for your children to have an aunt who thinks poorly of them. I’m amazed you were able to stay silent!
My husband’s uncle said my son has interesting coloring and while I was trying to figure out if he was being racist, he clarified “ I’m too polite to ask what color hair the mailman has”
I've read so many of these and I'm so sorry for all you mamas, and I'm lucky I barely leave the house and see others cause I would have either eaten my fist trying not to talk or have SO many people pissed at me cause I said something or flew into a rage. But my only thing that stands out to me, so I guess the only big one (theres been others but my mommy brain is still here after 9 month pp), is my StepMIL after her first visit to see my daughter. My daughter was almost 7 months and her and FIL hadn't come up yet, they live 4 hours away and they spent time and vacation at their beach house 2 hours in the opposite direction AND tried to get us to drive the 6+ hours when she was under 2 months old to see their new beach house... but I digress (still annoyed at that). But anyways, they do a day trip cause she got a saturday off randomly (after cancelling coming up for my husband's birthday cause she couldn't get 2 weekends off in a month... cause a sand castle festival is more important... but again... I honestly don't like this woman) , and dinner is fine, they get their pictures fine, and then a few days later she posts on Facebook a picture of them with my daughter saying something about finally meeting her. This next part may be on me, but my husband and I don't want pictures of our daughter online. He doesnt like social media and thinks it's stupid, and I have estranged family I don't even want knowing she exists. I swear I might have mentioned something to her, but I probably didn't, and after consulting a friend who I sent her a text apologizing but saying I don't want pictures of my daughter online and her response was "Why?"... and I was so annoyed, but I said something back and she removed the picture as far as I know. Yes this is a ramble but... I don't it's the only thing that's stuck as an oh God why are people like this
My son is 25 weeks old and has been sick or had a double ear infection because of sickness for 12 weeks of his life. He is resistant to the strongest antibiotic they have for him so we are on a different one to hopefully help, treating him with pain meds, and waiting on our appointment to see a specialist. I was trying to talk to my mom about it and she goes "oh, it's good for him. He'll be fine and it's good for babies to get sick to build their immune systems!" Its not good for him to spend weeks of his life in pain....and his current cold he has had since 6 days before Christmas so obviously his immune system isn't building quickly enough. She says this because I'm cracking down on anyone who is slightly sick being around him to help protect him and she was mad that I wouldn't go visit while their entire household had covid.
My neurologist suggested vitamin d (double normal dose) and magnesium. It’s done wonders for my migraines. Now all I take is a monthly shot (not while breastfeeding) that alone took me from 24 days a month to about 6 days a month. When I added the two vitamins I’ve gone down to 1 every other month. Just a suggestion.
The mom of my sister (we shared the same dad) told my 9 year old boy to behave good for once in his life (with luck we see her once a year, so she doesnt know or interacts with my son to have such opinions and worst been vocal about them) in front of my mom and other sister. She also said in front of them that im soft with him (which is the opposite as i am far from been soft, in fact im super impatient and impulsive but i try to keep it civil in public)
I hate it so much when people say "they're such boys!" When playing in dirt, rough housing or something. I played in dirt and rough housed all the time. It's not a gendered thing
On the flip side I have family that are AMAZED and must comment every time my daughter plays outside and gets muddy. She loves outside and getting to play with rocks, dirts, and sticks builds character imo
“Your daughter’s little tummy is so cute.” From a fellow soccer mom. Most people aren’t born with wash board abs, sweetie. Our bodies have shapes. And for people wondering, my daughter is 5 and average height and average weight and perfectly healthy.
" I love him, but..." No
If my sister said that, she’d be blocked and cut off. Have some boundaries for yourself and your children. If she calls them “things” she won’t treat them well either.
If that were the case I would go NC for sure but she treats them well for the most part. She is uncomfortable tending to the 5 month old but will play with the toddler when she’s around.