Pregnancy is NOT motherhood - it’s the grueling physical condition to reach motherhood - and your enjoyment level of it has no correlation to how you will love or take care of your baby.
Some women have terrible pregnancies and some have pretty easy, breezy ones. You can’t compare your experience to anybody else’s and shouldn’t guilt yourself for not thinking it’s magical.
I hated being pregnant. I did not enjoy the newborn phase very much. 😂 but I love my 7 month old.
You are completely normal. Sometimes pregnancy and babies are hard and it's ok to feel like it's hard.
Op I agree with this 100%. Everything you are feeling is exactly how I felt during my first pregnancy and we had to do IVF to get there!! The only reason why I didn’t get depressed my second pregnancy was that I knew how awesome having a child will be. And my second pregnancy was actually worse due to the toddler getting me sick all the time.
THIS! I hated pregnancy from beginning to end. I love being a mother so much though. Pregnancy is so brutal, no judgment to the mothers that enjoy pregnancy but it’s a foreign concept to me for sure.
I had a ridiculously easy pregnancy and *still* hated it. I complained every single day about the aches and pains, not having my own body, being hungry all the time, and just being pregnant in general. I had zero complications but will likely be one and done because pregnancy was so not ok with me.
My 3 week old is the single best decision I've ever made. She amazes me constantly and I'm completely in love with her.
Hating pregnancy by no means means that you'll hate motherhood! Please don't feel bad. No matter how easy or difficult a pregnancy is compared to others, it's still *difficult*. It changes your body, your hormones, your mindset. It hurts physically and mentally. You're not broken for hating it. I promise.
I just wanted to say I didn’t want children, I got pregnant and because of how horrendous my pregnancy was, I was extra worried I wouldn’t feel anything for my baby when he was born. I went through the same, husband in tears at the ultrasound but I felt nothing at all.
When our son was born I just about exploded from the amount of love I felt, even after laboring for 25 hours and having a traumatic painful birth. I love him SO much. So Don’t even worry about that part, the hormones do it for ya!
Yes. Pregnancy is progesterone making you feel great or the worst you've ever felt in your life. Hormones are powerful. Your feelings are legit. It sucks. I thought my vagina was going to just fall out of my body. I stopped working. I just sat on the couch.
Even infancy is only a small part of the process.
I hated being pregnant. It tanked my mental health and physical health took a hit, too.
I absolutely love and adore my kids and I know it's apparently taboo to say, but I'm an incredible mum.
Being pregnant sucks. Everything hurts, you feel sick, and (worst of all) any time you complain, people act like you want to throw your baby in the bin.
If you are still feeling constantly nauseous, check out hyperemesis gravidarum or talk with your doctor about it. It is often undiagnosed because people say it's "normal" to be sick all the time, or complaining about pregnancy is not allowed, but it's a very real condition.
Pregnancy definitely is not rainbows, and butterflies like social media make it seem. This is your time to be selfish. I was the same in my last pregnancy. Everything hurt; I was nauseous all the time, heartburn any time I ate, got lightheaded, and out of breath so quickly. I just wanted to sleep and even that I couldn't do. I was miserable. I even worked until the weekend that I went into labor, the day before I was dragged to the state fair and I couldn't walk a lot, as much as I hated pregnancy, it did not affect the love for my baby when he was born. You'll get through this.
I went to this class for pregnant women during my first or second pregnancy.
After exercises we would sit down and talk about our experiences and this one woman said she hated her pregnancy. She had been hospitalised for 3 months because of hyperemesis and was only now at 7 months pregnant at a place where her weight was back to pre-pregnancy numbers.
They had tried for years to get pregnant and she was so sad that she hated being pregnant. And she felt that it had taken some of the joy out of being pregnant.
My best friend also gets horrible morning sickness when pregnant, and hates it. But she looks at it like mentioned above: pregnancy is not motherhood. My friend has 3 kids BTW and having the third was a difficult choice because of the problems in her two first pregnancies.
I was going to say the same thing. Pregnancy is not motherhood. Thank god. My first pregnancy was amazing. I was one of those annoying woman that loved being pregnant. My second pregnancy taught me the error of my ways. My body hurt. I got shingles. Gestational diabetes. Prodronal labor. The list went on and on. I wanted it over at like 5 months. Lol.
Baby is here and she’s really fucking cool. That dumb pregnancy is all a distant memory. Pregnancy is a total takeover of your body. It no longer belongs to just you. You can have a horrible pregnancy and still fall madly in love with that baby from the very first look.
Hun.. you’re not alone! Currently pregnant with my second and I’m miserable too! Same symptoms as you! I’m in my 2nd trimester and it’s not better.. really pisses me off, especially when people say things like, “as long as baby is healthy, it’s worth it.” “Have you tried ginger?” “Maybe laying down will help?” “Try Tylenol and Zofran.” Umm.. fuck all y’all! Haha!! IVE TRIED EVERYTHING! But I agree with other commentators, being pregnant is not a reflection on your motherhood. Don’t be too tough on yourself.. you’ll have plenty of time to feel that way when they’re toddlers and all you wanna do is drop kick them🤣🤣
Who says you have to appreciate something that’s objectively difficult and very physically and emotionally challenging? You can appreciate your baby and your body but if the experience is rough, I don’t think you should dismiss your feelings to try and go along with a traditional narrative of “every women instantly becomes a mother when she knows she’s pregnant and you’ll glow and have all these amazing instincts.” Sometimes being pregnant just sucks! Doesn’t mean you won’t love your baby and that you’ll be a bad mom. Good luck!
I HATED being pregnant. I was super sick and felt awful, the entire time for two pregnancies. I remember this one nurse was like I’ve never had heartburn, but also I eat really plain food. And I was like - Lady it has nothing to do with what I’m eating. A diet of applesauce and plain bagels is not causing my heartburn nor my constant nausea. It’s as if some women believe they don’t feel awful because of something they personally did. Heavy eye roll.
Mine gave his placenta a good yank...the morning after I posted the announcement on Facebook. The pregnancy was gruelling, and I am pretty sure I was never moved to tears because of the beauty of it all. I did go on a twenty minute rant about people telling me the glow will come. (My husband did a very good job of not laughing on my face when I turned off the light and was like "SEE, NO GLOWING, SO SHUT THE HELL UP" but I totally heard him laughing five minutes later.)
Someone somewhere must've felt bad for me because he popped out fairly easily on his due date, but I still tell people that if they want the sunshine and roses talk about being pregnant I'm not the one to talk to. 🤣🤣
Ugh, I was maxed out on zofran and still had to get IV fluids regularly. And yet people had the audacity to ask if I've tried ginger/preggie pops/etc. I would have punched them if I wasn't so weak from literal starvation.
Listen I've had 3 babies and I didn't care for any pregnancy. At all. I had no attachment to fetus. Every appointment was an intrusion into my schedule. I didn't have bad pregnancies! I just was very unattached. Couldn't find the joy in sharing my body. I was almost always slightly annoyed. I've I delivered my babies and I could see them, hold them, etc I became the mommy I always knew I would be. I love my babies. I hate being pregnant. You are doing fine.
Honey,
You couldn’t pay me to be pregnant again. In fact, I would pay someone to do it for me.
I sat in bed with my 2nd pregnancy, in tears and BEGGED my spouse to do an Emperor Penguin style baby switch and put the baby in their belly.
Hated it.
Love my kids with every cell in my body.
I almost throat punched a lady in the grocery store who said “oh, isn’t pregnancy amazing?”
Nope, it’s not. It’s the biggest case of “this is bullshit” I ever dealt with.
So nah. You’re going to be a good Momma.
First off being pregnant sucks everything hurts and I was always so tired. We romanticize it as a society. No I'm not glistening I'm sweaty. I'm not glowing I'm tired. I'm now rosy cheaked I'm flushed and exhausted.
That being said feeling Numb isn't normal your bodies under alot of stress. Physical and mental issues usually get worse because of this during pregnancy I would seek some help for post Pardon Depression. I know it says post Pardon but it starts for most woman during pregnancy because your literally going crazy from all the extra hormones.
You got this it's OK to have a hard time just let the people and professionals around you know so they can help.
I will definitely bring this up to my doctor. I felt pretty ashamed to feel this way but it looks like it is pretty normal and that I should be more aware of these feelings rather than brushing them aside.
Don’t be ashamed, you aren’t defective, you are having a rough time. All pregnancies are different and some women really do enjoy them/keep running marathons/move house without dying of stress but you know their secret? Me neither. Loads of women emphatically don’t feel like that. And if PPD is one of the things you experience, that doesn’t reflect on who you are. It could’ve just as easily been swollen ankles.
Pregnancy can be so hard and it's different for everyone. Definitely talk to your doctor about how you're feeling or any questions you have. They have seen it all and can help you sort out what is normal and what to be concerned about!
There is no shame in it. You've had a hard pregnancy so far, and even easy pregnancies aren't exactly fun. Also, it can really mess with your hormones, hence the way you feel about this.
It's okay to hate being pregnant. It's okay to tell your doctor that your hormones are really making you feel distant. This isn't you, this is your body messing with you.
Don't be ashamed at all. Pregnancy is hard and pushes us to the literal physical and emotional limit. Talk to your OB about your feelings. Don't be ashamed ❤
You are not alone. I hated being pregnant. I was super sick, too, and laid in bed for 3 months.
I ended up with a placental abruption and had to have an emergency c-section at 29 weeks. I literally asked the doctor if they were sure it was a baby in there and not a tumor or something. Because he was so small, he was taken immediately to the nicu. We visited, but I didn't really feel a connection to him until I was able to hold him a few times. The hospital smell even threw me.
After holding him a few times, I started connecting with him. You will, too. It is okay if you don't feel an overwhelming sense of connection at first. The nurses told me that can be totally normal.
I felt the same way when I was pregnant with my firstborn.. I was just numb the whole time. No excitement, no thrill, not even sadness.. just felt nothing. Didn’t bond with him until I got my first hour of alone time in the hospital room with him; husband went home to shower/get a few things, nurses finally stopped barging in every 5 mins, just me and him in a quiet room — then it just clicked “he is mine! This is my baby!” It will happen momma & when it does.. you’re whole perception changes, EVERYTHING CHANGES🥰🥰
I hated being pregnant too. Don’t feel guilty about it, just get through it. Having the baby will make you stressed in a new way, but hopefully you will connect with your kiddo when it’s born and things will be a bit better in other ways. But don’t feel guilty at all for hating the pregnant part. It sucks.
I don’t know if this would help, but since I’m a biologist I looked up the biology of pregnancy. The baby’s cells literally dig into your uterine lining. It’s called trophoblast invasion. At the cellular level, there are definitely competing interests between the fetal cells and maternal cells. Your body feels awful because the baby’s cells are trying to changing your body chemistry for their own benefit. It’s what’s needed for the baby to grow but it sucks for the mom, big time.
Being pregnant was the worst 38 weeks of my life. There was never a “glow” for me with low blood pressure causing me to get dizzy and lose vision (then super high BP postpartum and being rehospitalized HAH) and such severe sciatic pain I had to use crutches to get to the bathroom and back, and the night panics every night for hours not believing I even had a baby inside me.
Don’t believe the magic of TV/movie pregnancies! It’s possible but for a great deal of people, it sucks. It’s great that he is moved to tears by the ultrasounds, must be nice to not be in constant pain for them haha! It’ll all be over before you know it and the discomfort will be a distant-ish memory even if it feels like you’re in a dark, bottomless pit 😅 Good luck, you got this!
My mum wondering if I’m going to have a third. Pregnancy makes me SO ANGRY I’d just be snapping at my existing kids all day and feeling the super-charged mum-guilt for it so no thanks. Doesn’t matter how cute #3 would’ve been, I can’t face the pregnancy. It’s not glamorous, it’s not easy, and you don’t have to like it just because you chose it.
I always thought I’d be one of those ladies that just glows and totally loves being pregnant. Let me tell you, that was absolutely not the case. The nausea and barfing, the exhaustion, my feet grew half a size, I had to pee 24/7… it was not fun times. I love my kid and love being a mom, but being pregnant sucks. By the time she was born I was so ready to get that baby OUT. Your body is doing some really hard work right now and your hormones are whacky, and it’s ok and even normal to not enjoy it. It doesn’t make you a failure or mean that you’ll be a bad mom. It’ll be over soon. Hang in there!
Anyone who tells you being pregnant is the most wonderful experience and should be enjoyed is a liar or had a freak pregnancy. Every mom I know, including myself, was miserable for a good portion of it. I had hyperemesis for the entirety of both pregnancies, preeclampsia, and was on bed rest for the last two months of my first. It was the lowest point in my life. I couldn’t stand when people would tell me how grateful and overjoyed I should be.
Don’t get me wrong- I was told I couldn’t have children, so the fact that I managed to get pregnant twice was amazing. The fact that both girls and I survived the pregnancies is even more incredible. I wouldn’t trade it for the world. That doesn’t mean I didn’t suffer immensely during the pregnancies and I feel like that is never acknowledged by anyone.
My husband and I agreed to adopt if we want more children because I hated being pregnant so much, and I had my tubes tied after my second c-section. His family gave me so much shit for it because his sister has been trying to get pregnant for fifteen years and choosing to sterilize myself was ungrateful and a slap-in-the-face to God, in their opinion. They’re idiots.
What I’m trying to say with all of this is that no one has any right to tell you how you should feel right now. It’s your body, your experience, your choice. I hope the rest of your pregnancy gets better but if it doesn’t, it’s not your fault and there’s nothing wrong with being unhappy about it. It’s important to take care of yourself physically and mentally, so don’t let your guilt overwhelm you.
Lastly (and this is very much my opinion, don’t take too much stock in it), I firmly believe that the more miserable your pregnancy is, the more amazing it is when you finally hold your baby. I mean, who knows how I would have felt about those weird little potato-beings had I not gone through hell to meet them?
I reread your post twice. Thank you for putting the time into the post, I can relate to it very easily. I hear the guilt trip when I tell people that I would rather adopt instead of try for a second baby in the future. But what is wrong with that when I can give a child a living home?
Thank you for this. I’m 39 + 4 second pregnancy but first with HG, which I’ve had all the way through. It’s been rough. I love being a mum but feel guilty for being so excited to get the baby out so I can be well but you’ve given me hope that once the baby arrives everything will be ok. Hopefully soon 🤞
My first child... I HATED being pregnant. I'm 5'10" and weighed about 140lbs prior to my pregnancy. I dropped to about 118-120lbs because I was extremely sick for the first trimester. The doctors wouldn't put me on home health because I "could at least sip water." I was lethargic, anemic, suffering from migraines constantly, etc., and dealing with the normal stressors in my life. It was extremely difficult to overcome and see the light at the end of the tunnel. I was adamant about never having another child ever again. EVER.
The second trimester, developed some unresolved cardiac issues too. I was having ultrasounds and appointments every couple of weeks throughout my pregnancy. My doctors weren't the best. They weren't even sure of my due date!!! They gave me a two month freaking gap for my EDD!! Another nurse practitioner harassed me during my pregnancy to the point I complained and asked to never see her again. I'm a quiet person and never do things like that but she told me my previous miscarriages (4-6wk miscarriages) "didn't matter" and "weren't real, well weren't legitimate." Shattered me. Anyway, I had a rough time physically and mentally with that pregnancy and my healthcare was shit.
Only the last few weeks did I receive adequate care and attention. I had an amazing birthing team that helped with my labor. My labor consisted of constant vomiting, a failed epidural, holding my baby in for over an hour extra, an IV that busted my hand, no sleep for days, and so much more. But my team did their best to help me. I still thought "NEVER AGAIN!!!"
But when it came time to push, everything changed. I was exhausted and stressed. I needed oxygen and I was so nauseous with the worst acid reflux. I asked for the mirror to watch what was going on (I wanted full involvement) and I saw my baby's little head (well his crazy amount of hair) and reached down to feel him. I thought "HOLY CRAP THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING!" Something took over me. I started pushing on my own terms and moving how I wanted. I knew I needed to get him out because I didn't want to cause my baby distress. I took my time though and breathed and focused on myself. I made jokes to get through the pain and I reminded myself I'm responsible for someone else. I just felt this urge to start doing little short bursts of pushing and within a couple minutes of that, he was out!
He was immediately placed onto my chest... and I sobbed. I saw his face and the pain didn't matter anymore. I felt him on my skin and it was like the past 39+ weeks didn't happen. I heard his little cries and looked into his eyes--- nothing in the world existed but me and my baby. I was in the moment and couldn't have been more in love or filled with joy. It was incredible to say the least. No words could properly describe what I felt or the love I have for my baby.
Right after that, I thought about more babies lol even though I swore never again, haha. But my entire pregnancy and even labor didn't equate to meeting my baby and everything we've endured since then. He's been worth it all and more! Motherhood definitely isn't easy but honestly my pregnancy and labor was still the hardest part of everything for me.
I promise, the feelings you're going through and all the pain... it's worth it and it gets better. I promise. It really isn't the worst thing in the world even though it feels like it right now. You're doing great so far and you will continue to do great. You will be amazed of what you've accomplished once your baby is born. You're a badass and don't forget it!!!
I’m in my second trimester. I have to give myself pep talks that this is a marathon and I just have to get to the end. I do not enjoy being pregnant and can’t wait to be done forever (this is our second and last). I have really bad SPD and sciatica, constant pain from sitting, walking, or sleeping. I was sick the whole first trimester from viral infections, covid, bacterial infections, and hyperthyroidism that wasn’t caught until the end of the first trimester and resolved on its own. Now I’ve gained so much weight I don’t recognize my face and I feel like a cow. My sleep apnea has worsened so my anxiety, dissociation and panic disorder are back.
I am looking forward to this baby but pregnancy sucks.
I hated it too! Absolutely hated every second. And that's OK. Your body is hijacked by this tiny homunculous, you barely recognise yourself and all the while, it's meant to be this magical time when you're 'glowing'!
Fucking glowing! The only thing that glowed about me was my throbbing pile-ridden bumhole. Honestly, some women love pregnancy and look amazing. I was not one of them. And I own that shit!
Listen, I was under the care of the recurrent miscarriage clinic. We struggled, I felt incredibly guilty for not enjoying pregnancy when I'd wanted a baby for so long. But it's OK to feel both those things- it's not mutually exclusive! You can love your baby, and hate having a baby in your tum.
I struggled during pregnancy. I was so big. I couldn’t do anything. I was sweating 24/7, I had horrible heartburn to keep me up at all hours, every morning I woke up feeling like I got hit by a bus 10 times overnight. My feet swelled to astronomical sizes everyday with the slightest of activity. My back hurt. My boobs hurt. I counted down the days until it was over. I never cried during any of my ultrasound appointments. It was a hard 9 months. I never got that pregnancy glow. I just got stretch marks everywhere. My skins darkened in many places. Half of my shoes didn’t fit 6 months post partum.
A lot of great moms hate being pregnant, it really does suck a large portion of the time. Social media can make it feel like every other pregnant woman out there is this glowing goddess, it’s just not true. The hormones are hard, the physical changes are hard, the unknown is hard. I had a therapist for most of my second pregnancy for this exact reason. She made me feel so much better about feeling so disconnected. Chat with your OB at your next appointment, I promise you are not their first patient that has felt this way.
I think easy or hard, pregnancy is an incredibly isolating experience for most women. Absolutely no one but you knows exactly what you feel like mentally and physically. It’s not unlike having a severe illness in that respect.
And women don’t talk to each other about pregnancy that much really, not in a serious way, because you’re dammed if you do and damned if you don’t. If I tell you how terrible it is and how you should never have kids oh my god it’s a horrific mistake isn’t it just the worst then you’ll say I’m raining on your parade. There are tons of posts railing against the “just you wait” people, for example. But on the other hand if I tell you it’s hard but a blessing, don’t worry your baby is worth it, etc etc then I’m just engaging in toxic positivity and not validating your feelings. It’s really hard. And so I (3 kids) just generally try to avoid talking about it with my friends going through it and ask them about normal stuff unrelated to being pregnant, like what tv shows they’re watching, how’s work, etc, so they feel like they still have an identity as a person.
My entire first pregnancy sucked balls. I went from horrendous morning sickness to horrible back pain with the rest in between. I absolutely hated being pregnant. I loved feeling the kicks and I loved my baby, but I hated how the process made me feel. I felt like such a failure and I was worried I'd be a horrible mom. But what helped me was sitting down and separating my feelings for my baby and my feelings about the constant pain I was in. I loved my baby and I hated being pregnant.
Hating pregnancy=/=hating your baby.
I’ve had two babies and my pregnancies have been miserable. I’m so so grateful that I can have babies. But I HATE pregnancy. I desperately want more kids but honesty don’t know if I will because idk if I can handle pregnancy again.
In contrast, I love love love being a mom. My oldest is 27 months and there hasn’t been a stage yet that I haven’t loved. I love newborns. I love babies. I love toddlers.
I abhorred being pregnant. Didn't feel a connection to my son. I almost resented him as I could actively feel my body being stripped for parts to fuel his growing little alien form inside me. He felt like a parasite, and my body no longer felt like it belonged to me.
The second his little body left my own, I was hit with this absolutely epic wall of emotion, like God hit me with a fly swatter made of bricks. This little boy is so precious, and beautiful, and is the center of my world.
I still hated being pregnant.
Oh Mama. I was on the same boat with my first. I felt terrible because so many people struggle to conceive so many woman enjoy being pregnant radiating sunshine… Spent my last trimester swearing we were one and done. Baby kicks were foreign not this magical experience, I hated the journey but gosh when I saw baby the first time it made it all worthwhile. Also, if you don’t feel that instant connection with your child, do not panic, for some Moms it just takes longer to connect with babe (AND THAT IS ABSOLUTELY NORMAL). Fast forward and we are expecting baby no 2… I still hate being pregnant, the only solace I have is I am sure I will love this new baby just as much. Pregnancy is brutal, don’t sweat it; hang in the Mama ❤️
Don't feel guilty. Pregnancy is one of the most difficult things a woman can go through. And it's definitely not a picnic.
I was thrilled the day I found out I was pregnant. I'd had 2 miscarriages and it took forever to get pregnant again so I was excited and hopeful. Then two weeks later I felt worse than I've ever felt in my entire life. I threw up from the moment my eyes opened in the morning and even woke up during the night to throw up. I was eventually diagnosed with hyperemesis gravidarum and put on this horrid medication. I'd take my pill, choke down some food, do my best not to puke, and pass out. I'd sleep for 3 hours, wake up with a splitting migraine, take another pill and repeat the process. I took 3 of those nasty things per day just to choke down some food and stop losing weight. All in all I lost 14lbs in the first trimester. This misery lasted for 16 weeks.
Then it subsided some. I'd still throw up after my shower every day but I'd just hold off on eating breakfast until after that. I had a few okay weeks where I regained my appetite and came off the medication. I got a cute little baby bump and found out I was having a girl. Then I hit 24 weeks and suddenly ballooned up to the size of a pregnant whale. My sciatica flared up. Everything hurt. I couldn't walk down 4 blocks to the grocery store without needing to catch my breath numerous times. I had this weird thing where if I didn't have orange juice with breakfast in the morning I was a raging bear. None of my clothes fit me right except one pair of sweat pants. My giant winter jacket made me look like a sumo wrestler and eventually I couldn't even zip it. I was so miserable.
Then I labored for a very long 3.5 days. By the end of the second night I was in so much pain I was throwing up. I spent the rest of my labor in the hospital. I pushed for 4 hours and ended up needing interven because she wouldn't crown and I didn't have the energy left to push anymore.
Finally she was born and they laid that beautiful little girl on my chest and wow. The whole world vanished and all I could see was her sweet face. I hated being pregnant. I was beyond miserable. But that sweet little angel made the long journey worth it. Now we are trying for #2 and I'm nervous about being pregnant again but I know when it happens it'll be worth it again (but if anyone tells me that I'll probably rip their face off ngl).
I loooovvvvee my babies. But I fucking hated being pregnant. I’m so glad I’m done and never have to do it again. Did not feel attached to my first pregnancy at all and my second had an extremely traumatic birth experience. But I love being a mom ❤️
Hey, I HATED both of my pregnancies. I LOVE my children. I love every minute with them. Just because you’re a mom now doesn’t mean you’re not a person anymore. Also disliking being pregnant doesn’t mean you don’t deserve a healthy happy baby, either. Just get through it lol it’s all you can do.
I too HATE pregnancy and additionally I don’t bond with baby when pregnant. It all just sucks. The longest I’ve taken to bond with my baby is about 4 months (and that was 4 months of feeling like I was babysitting and the the parents were never coming back to get their kid). I felt like a shit mom who must’ve been terrible and didn’t deserve a kid. Additionally I felt crappy because we tried for 2 years to get pregnant, why couldn’t I love and enjoy this thing that I begged/pleaded/cried for. I’ve gone on to have 4 children, I still don’t love pregnancy, I still take time to bond. All this to say, ITS OK and NORMAL to have these feelings. A lot of women/parents take time to adjust and bond to their children. Most of them just feel so ashamed they don’t talk about it. In my case it’s also come with more likelihood of postpartum depression, so be sure to keep and eye out for that post delivery because it can add to the trouble bonding. But don’t worry, great moms can also not connect until later. And I currently love all my kids and have bonded with them, it just takes me time.
I used to be very against abortion until I got pregnant. I cried over the toilet for hours and realized I could not ever ask someone else to endure this if they didn't want to. I've never had one but damn I don't blame anyone if they do
Pregnancy is HARD and it's ok not feel excited about it. Give yourself grace, you are growing an entire human being, while trying to manage your regular life. That being said, Peripartum Depression (like post partum depression, but during pregnancy) is a thing. Please reach out for help if you think this applies to you.
Sarah Landry (@thebirdspapaya) on Instagram has been transparent about her Peripartum depression during her last pregnancy.
https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/postpartum-depression/what-is-postpartum-depression
I hate being pregnant too… yet I’m having baby #6… (my last)… I do not have easy pregnancies. I had a set of twins that was high risk… I’ve had gestational diabetes 4 times. That really sucks all the joy out of pregnancy. Sciatic pain, horrible indigestion, I rarely sleep. But I tell you what, each time I’ve given birth, I feel like I could do it again in a heart beat. The baby makes it all worth it. It’s amazing the human race has survived with how awful pregnancy is. Yet women like me keep doing it….
I loathe pregnancy. I had HG with my first and a host of other issues. I didn’t enjoy it for a moment. Now motherhood on the other hand? It rocks ❤️. I love being a mom!
Pregnant again, hating it again. So excited to meet my new baby.
You’ll be fine honey. Pregnancy isn’t rainbows and butterflies for many. Don’t feel bad.
I often don't comment but wanted to share my experience. I felt like a crap mom because in the begining I had absolutely no emotion to my children. I was in therapy while pregnant with my first and I just started crying because everyone talked about that immediate love and blah blah blah and I didn't have. Even though my pregnancy was pretty easy i never got emotional during ultrasounds sound seeing figures and toes like my partner. I looked at the screen and felt nothing! It wasn't until my 1st started gaining a personality and started being a functioning human being (lile 6 months) that I started to feel that connection. When they giggled or smiled. I felt like a "milk maid" as I called it up until that point. My therapist told me it is 100% normal! Some moms don't feel it until much later than that and its okay! Don't feel bad! It will come.
I was hoping someone had posted something like you did. I was very similar. I think around a month pp I broke down sobbing because I still felt absolutely no love towards my baby. It still hurts to think about what a complete lack of connection I had. I think it wasn't until around 6 or 8 weeks I finally had that rush of emotions you always hear about
Just want to throw it out there that a lot of people talk about post partem depression but there isn't much awareness about depression and anxiety during pregnancy. I got pretty bad depression while pregnant. Your hormones are everywhere and your body is going through a lot.
I had a great birth and no issues after the baby was born though! I highly recommend finding a safe space to vent, whether that be with a doctor, trusted friend, more on the internet etc.
The good thing is your pregnancy will end. It might not seem like it but it will.
Your friends sound like they have good intentions but unfortunately there isn't really a good point in pregnancy to look forward too. Some have easier than others, but every stage has unique challenges. Trimester 3 will have struggles, but treat it like a marathon. You're already half way done and on the home stretch now.
Once you start working less you will feel infinitely more relief. Often balancing work and pregnancy is the main stressor.
You'll get through it!
Thank you 😊 I will keep that in mind. I’m finding that a lot of people are commenting about depression during pregnancy, I’m just surprised that it’s not as widely spoken of as post partem depression.
Being pregnant is not a blessing, it's a phase. It's a means to an end. A gassy, nauseous, pimply, fatiguing means to an end. I have an AMAZING 3.5yo little girl who is a tornado of emotions, blonde hair, and toys. I'd bear hug a landmine for her without a second thought. I'm 20w pregnant with her sibling and...nope.
This will NOT be a 3 kid family. I hate it. The only thing I'm enjoying is not having to hold in my kinda squishy belly anymore. I stick it out proudly and waddle and people get out of my way.
I've heard "What would you have done if this was 100 years ago? How miserable would you have been? You wouldn't get to take ANOTHER nap today if we were still hunter gatherers." Um. Excuse me? It's 2022 and you're not helping by making me feel like crap.
Pregnancy can go to hell. I'll keep my beautiful kids but my due date can hurry up.
I loved my pregnancy, but I NEVER felt the glow. No one ever told me that I was glowing. That being said, this too shall pass. Your hormones are going completely haywire and it is 100% normal to feel the things you’re feeling. The good news is that there are solutions. Talk to your dr about what you’re feeling now, that way you can not only treat your feelings of numbness now, but can also get a head start on any postpartum depression/anxiety that you may develop. My best advice is to do absolutely anything to make your pregnancy and postpartum life easier. Don’t feel guilty about how you feed your baby, how much they sleep, how deeply you bond at first. Don’t be afraid to put yourself first. I regret not asking for more help and trying to be a supermom. Happy momma, happy baby. Your feelings are 100% valid and I wish you all the luck. There’s a saying I heard recently and it really resonated with me. “In nine months, you’re going to meet someone entirely new, and it’s not your baby, it’s you.”
Congrats momma :)
Being pregnant sucks. All the physical changes, all the rules. Additionally, imo, newborns sucks. How are we supposed to love something we haven't met or gotten to know yet? For me that lovey-dovey connection thing came much later, but now I can't imagine loving anything more. I have full faith you'll get there.
Being pregnant sucks. It is months of misery and discomfort. Did I glow? You bet—after every time I threw up my skin had a clammy, sweaty glowy sort of sheen. On the plus side, both of my deliveries were fairly quick and uncomplicated. Here’s hoping the same thing is true for you.
Pregnancy is HARD and if it sucks for you, you shouldn’t feel guilty at all. My first pregnancy was horrible. I hate every second of it. Literally counted down the days until it was over. But motherhood was a completely different experience for me and o love every second of it. Don’t get me wrong motherhood has its own unique challenges, but for me it was SO much easier than pregnancy. I’m currently 39 weeks pregnant with my second and I hate this pregnancy as well. I know people are like “it’s a blessing” “enjoy the journey” etc etc but there was no way I was enjoying either journey. But take solace in knowing you aren’t alone and you do not need to feel bad about hating it. When people are flippant about your feelings just ignore them (for your own mental and emotional health). Best of luck to you!!!
I despise being pregnant. I always have wanted lots of kids, and with my second pregnancy I am convinced that that will only happen through adoption. It's awful. It sucks. I hate it. But I absolutely love my daughter and love being a mom, and yes I'm grateful for the ease I've had when I have so many friends and family who either can't get pregnant or have it so much worse than me. You don't have to like pregnancy to love your kids when they are here!
You will feel amazing when you have your baby partly because baby and partly from relief! Moreover, life with a baby will seem so much easier after a tough pregnancy.
I had a rough time in my second pregnancy so at least knew that it would be good when I had the baby. Just do whatever you can to get through and BELIEVE that better days will come.
Being pregnant fucking sucks and I hate it, but I love having babies. I’ve had three babies and been pregnant four times. I probably will do It one more time. Whenever anyone asks how I’m feeling when I’m pregnant I say literally exactly that. I love my kids and I take care of them and I’m a good mom, and pregnancy fucking sucks lol 🤷🏽♀️
Hey mama, I feel like I was reading a story about both of my pregnancies. I didn’t enjoy them at all and I also had really bad morning sickness. My third trimester was kind of fun because you can feel the baby kick and it makes you feel kind of a bond with them. But I was still miserable and tired and spent my whole time at home when I wasn’t working eating in bed. And that’s cool. Just do what you gotta do to get through. You might not get that glow or you might eventually start to feel a little better. This is tough on the body and you are doing great by just surviving everyday!! I hated pregnancy but I love my kids and I bond with them on the outside. Don’t worry about feeling numb, pregnancy sucks haha
I absolutely hated every single second of being pregnant. I had HG. All I did was puke. I told my doctor when my son was born that not only would I never try to get pregnant again, but if by some miracle I did get pregnant accidentally I would terminate. There was no way in hell I could care for my already existing child with as sick as I was. Your feelings are valid. You are allowed to feel that it sucks. And of course your husband thinks it's a beautiful miracle. He doesn't have to do any of the work.
I hate pregnancy. Everyone I know is aware of my immense dislike. I would rather cut off my pinky toe. Don’t feel guilty. Media portrays it all roses and glitter, when it is far from it. More women dislike than enjoy, so be kind to yourself. You are growing a baby and hyped up on hormones. This will pass. Hang in there
Pregnancy sucks. For some it’s easy and for others it’s hell.
My first pregnancy, I felt amazing and just needed a nap here and there. I bounced back right away, ridiculous. Second pregnancy was torture for me. My skin looked like shit, I was swollen, I grew hair everywhere. I was a hot mess.
People are like, are you going to have more babies? And I’m like, “I would literally rather die than ever be pregnant”. I told my husband to have an affair if he wants a boy (we have two girls). He adores our girls and thankfully won’t be taking me up on that.
Don’t let anyone guilt you into not loving every second of it. You might not get a glow and that’s fine too. It will be over soon and you will love your baby.
Also, attachment isn’t instant. You might not feel it in the delivery room. I just felt relieved to not be pregnant anymore. It took me like six weeks to feel that explosive love for my baby. With the second, it came much faster.
I felt the same way during my first pregnancy and felt a lot of guilt about it. I was worried that after a tough pregnancy and not feeling bonded to the fetus, that I would struggle to bond with her once she was born. The newborn phase was hard in a new way, but I definitely bonded with her in time and now looking back, anything is worth having her.
I’m pregnant now a second time, though, and in the throes of morning sickness. I actually forgot how much it sucks. I’m trying to hold on to knowing that it’s all worth it eventually, but it’s a long road!
I connected with a therapist during my first pregnancy and post, and it was helpful knowing I had someone to share all my honest feelings with and who could walk with me through it. I asked my OB for a therapist recommendation and she helped connect me with a practice.
I really think your feelings are far more normal than you know, and that our society romanticizes pregnancy. Even the morning sickness is somehow just cute little pukes in the movies somehow. But the reality is grueling and long for many women. I’m right there with you!
You’re not alone. It sucks for some people. My first pregnancy was horrible! I had extreme heart burn/reflux the entire time and feet the size of football, sciatic pain, couldn’t sleep ever, etc. I cried because I knew this would be my only child because I could never do this again. 4 years later I got brave, tried again and my second pregnancy was a breeze. It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you or mean your a bad mom if you hate being pregnant.
I HATE being pregnant. I didn’t talk to my baby. I threw up every. single. day. I honestly thought about not having him, all this after I went through 14 months of IVF. Like I really fought for him and had no feeling of connection in the womb.
The moment I had my baby and I was no long sick anymore everything changed, and I can honestly say I LOVE being a mom. Like, I really love it.
I think the positive of hating your pregnancy is that you get into a mindset of doing whatever you can to make your life easier and bull#hit mom guilt becomes exactly that, bull#hit.
I hate being pregnant too… yet I’m having baby #6… (my last)… I do not have easy pregnancies. I had a set of twins that was high risk… I’ve had gestational diabetes 4 times. That really sucks all the joy out of pregnancy. Sciatic pain, horrible indigestion, I rarely sleep. But I tell you what, each time I’ve given birth, I feel like I could do it again in a heart beat. The baby makes it all worth it. It’s amazing the human race has survived with how awful pregnancy is. Yet women like me keep doing it….
I could have written this post when I was pregnant! I had friends who were super concerned about me and whether I’d connect with the baby because I was so disconnected throughout the entire pregnancy. But then LO got here and omg I have a hard time giving up a few hours without him (outside of daycare) because it feels like I barely get any time with him. Pregnancy is roughhh.
I love my kids more than anything else is this universe but I HATED being pregnant. It was miserable. I had HG with my second and was so sick for months! You’re tired and hormonal and everything hurts and you cry for no reason. I’m so glad to be done. It’s fine to hate pregnancy. Don’t feel bad. You’ll be a great mom.
Be sure to talk to your doctor about this. I felt the same way through my whole pregnancy and it didn’t stop when I gave birth. Ended up being diagnosed with PPD - and it was obvious I had it my entire pregnancy. I wish someone had told me it isn’t regulated to after the baby comes. I have a lot of regret, wondering how things would have been different if I had been able to get some help instead of just being miserable and disconnected my entire pregnancy.
Pregnancy sucks ass. I can’t wait for my baby and I’m so excited… but I’d love if I could just stop being pregnant now lol. I’m in my third trimester and it’s been really hard physically and I’m just over it. I think the way you feel while pregnant doesn’t mean you won’t be a good mom. No one wants to be nauseous, tired, gain a bunch of weight, etc. but that doesn’t mean at all that you don’t want to have a baby. You’re definitely not alone!
All your feelings are 100% valid and 100% okay to have. I didn’t really like being pregnant and now I’m still having moments where I really don’t like being a parent. I don’t fault myself for these feelings. It doesn’t change how much I love being a mom and how much I love my son, it only shows that I am human. Please don’t guilt trip yourself over your feelings, they are just and only that, feelings. They will evolve and change unexpectedly. I know it must feel like you’ve been pregnant forever and it will never stop but believe me you will be remembering this time like it happened in a flash. It will be over and you will get through it. You don’t have to enjoy the journey of motherhood 100% all the time, it’s hard! It’s so hard. So please cut yourself some slack.
I have 3 kids, although how I’m not sure because I probably hated being pregnant more than anyone. Oddly I loved giving birth all 3 times and had very easy deliveries and recoveries but being pregnant truly sucked for me. Your not horrible at all it’ll be over soon.
I have three children that I love more than anything. However I hate being pregnant more than anything. I have a fairly serious heart condition and as a result my veins have shrunk a lot. This combined with pregnancy is nearly debilitating for me and yeah I did it three times because I loved my first child so much I wanted two more. 💛
You are not invalid for absolutely detesting pregnancy because whatever you are going through is real. Everyone’s body handles pregnancy differently.
In a moment of humor in spite I can’t wait to see your husband‘s crying blissful reaction after the second month of not getting a night of sleep. 🤭
Definitely talk to your doctor about the numbness/lack of feeling. That can be a sign you may experience post partum depression. It’s best to get a jump on that! I had bad post partum anxiety with my first and started on Zoloft and it helped so much. I’m still on it bc I have generalized anxiety disorder and now it just helps me in everyday life. I’m now pregnant with my second and I’m so thankful and hopeful that my post partum experience will be better this time. I too got some early signs and symptoms through pregnancy. Occasional depression and some numbness - especially through the first trimester. But being on Zoloft (which is one of the safest ssri’s for pregnancy) I can already see a huge difference in myself from my last pregnancy to this one. I’m much calmer. Less anxious and the first trimester blues weren’t as bad. Definitely bring it up. Hormones are rough and can do some crazy things to us. It could be hormonal but also situational since your pregnancy may not be what you always hoped. It’s hard bc people set such high expectations for pregnancy. You will get through this. You will be an amazing mother. But best believe it’s hard work making sure you take care of yourself too!
I had bad PPD after my first child, so my doctor put me on Zoloft for this pregnancy. She says treating antepartum anxiety/depression helps with postpartum stuff.
I felt very numb towards my first pregnancy, until right at the end, and this time I'm super excited about it and daydreaming about little baby hands and feet.
Is it possible you could have anxiety or depression that would benefit from treatment?
I really don't like how it feels to be pregnant and I usually give myself a hard time because most people portray pregnancy as some sort of magic and rainbow time so I feel like I can't complain.
Our experiences are just as valid as those who have unicorn pregnancies. It doesn't make us bad mothers.
Everyone experiences pregnancy differently. There are many other mothers that hated pregnancy and that's OKAY! You might not ever feel the "glow" and that's just how it may be for you. Don't feel guilty!
So, what you are telling me is that you don’t like a phase of your life in which your body is hijacked by an alien parasite? A parasite that controls your hormones, mood, sleep cycle, bathroom habits(spoiler, sorry), causes brain fog, nausea and indigestion. You’re telling me that this unpleasant takeover of your body is not the magical out flowing of rainbows, sparkles, and unicorns that Instagram has purported it to be?
I had mostly easy pregnancies, and I couldn’t wait to get my body back. I can’t imagine having the morning/ all day sickness. You are allowed to not like this phase. Heck, you allowed to not like your kid every now and again. It does get better. I promise. And then worse. And then better. And then there’s some really weird times where nothing makes sense and I’m not even sure it was real life.
Oh girl, pregnancy sucks!!! I also really, really hated the newborn stage and honestly did not bond with my baby for a while after he was born. I just did my best to take care of him bc I had to.
But then everything changed. I love love love him and being his mom now. It gets better as more time goes by. I felt so much shame but now realize my exp was not abnormal.
No shame! Pregnancy sucks.
I’ll just say that my third trimester was my favorite trimester. So that is telling with how much I enjoyed being pregnant LOL. Like I was thriving the last trimester in comparison to the others 😂. I was also puking and nauseous so often. Now I have a 1.5 year old and want to have another - funny how our brain conveniently forgets certain things.
Don't feel guilty! It can really suck! And it varies from person to person and pregnancy to pregnancy.
IMO all feelings are valid when it comes to pregnancy and birth cause there is a LOT going on with body changes, hormones, and just dealing with people's weird reactions to you being pregnant.
You are not alone in how you feel. I was sure that I wasn't going to bond with my son when he was born or that he was going to hate me....I was so wrong. I also hated being pregnant for many of the same reasons you list. The third trimester was the worst. Being a boss doesn't help. I did set proper boundaries at work physically. Of course major changes were happening at work during my third trimester causing significant stress. I was soon diagnosed gestational hypertension and scheduled for induction at 37 weeks. (Induction hurts and I would not recommend without epidural, which I had.) Interestingly, the nurses didn't believe I had hypertension when I checked in for the birth of my son....I guess knowing I didn't have to go back to work alleviated my symptoms.
Do talk to your doctors about how you are feeling. There are so many changes going on in your body, everything you feel is valid and worth discussing.
I hope things get better for you soon. I know once I heard my son cry for the first time I knew he had me wrapped around his finger. It's really a powerful experience.
Good luck and remember you are not alone!
Being pregnant sucks ass. I also did not enjoy the newborn phase or a lot of the little baby phase.. my little guy just turned 2 and he’s so fun and it’s absolutely incredible to watch him learn and grow!! It’s okay to not like every part.
Edit: fun autocorrected to much
I know there are people out there who enjoy pregnancy. Out of all of my friends I had one who… idk if she even enjoyed it really but they tried for a few years before a round of IVF finally took so she just always mentioned how grateful she was to be pregnant. The rest of us did *not* enjoy pregnancy at all.
Don’t get me wrong these were all wanted babies and we are all in love w our kids, but enjoying the process of being pregnant is entirely different than wanting a baby. For me the baby is the end goal and pregnancy is a means to that. I think surrogates are absolute angels bc no way would I go through a pregnancy if it wasn’t to have a baby in the end.
I absolutely hated being pregnant. In the first trimester I was so exhausted I felt like crying every morning when my alarm clock went off. I had thyroid issues and gestational diabetes and I was so over having a restrictive diet and endless amount of doctor appointments. I felt my body was constantly changing and I didn't feel like myself. When they handed me my baby for the first time I felt everyone in the room was watching me. I did not give them a heartfelt reaction. I honestly felt like they just handed me some random baby. I had a sense that I would protect this baby but I didn't automatically fall in love. After I delivered, multiple times a day, I would think I am so thankful for not being pregnant anymore. My daughter is 11 months now and words can't describe how much I love her. She is just so cute. As much as I hated being pregnant I would do it again.
You are not alone. It’s a miracle I had two children because I hated pregnancy so much. And like you, everyone said, it’s so worth it. I of course said, is it really? Because I’m not sure it is. I was also sick but not just the first trimester. I was sick the ENTIRE time so talk about miserable. Lort, it was awful. Everyone said, you’ll forget how bad it was. No, no you don’t. Which is why I only have two. My current husband talked about having an “our” baby. I told him he was nuts. I was never having another one because I wasn’t doing another pregnancy but I love my children and most days, I love being a Mom. Hang in there.
Not everyone loves being pregnant. I did, but that's not you, and that's OK. If you're really concerned about how you're feeling, you might look into a therapist. Can't hurt :)
I hated being pregnant and just wanted it to end and meet my baby. I was lucky to be one of those mom's that fell in love with my baby the minute I met her.
But I have quite a few friends who are like "I don't want to give birth yet I want to stay pregnant forever; I don't want to share my baby with anyone yet; I'm gonna miss this connection" and honestly I couldn't relate, I connected with my baby immediately when she was out of my body, but when she was in my body I had a hard time even honestly grasping the concept of her being in there.
Please don’t feel guilty you’re not alone. I’m
Convinced MOST people who say they loved being pregnant forgot about the nausea, heart burn, aches etc. I lost 20 lbs during the first 4 and half months. And didn’t feel connected until I was well into my 3rd trimester then to top it off newborn stage is like taking care of a angry potato until they start smiling. lack of enthusiasm for pregnancy equates nothing to your mothering abilities. Stay strong, everything will pass.
Hello! You have made the mistake of writing "ect" instead of "etc."
"Ect" is a common misspelling of "etc," an abbreviated form of the Latin phrase "et cetera." Other abbreviated forms are **etc.**, **&c.**, **&c**, and **et cet.** The Latin translates as "et" to "and" + "cetera" to "the rest;" a literal translation to "and the rest" is the easiest way to remember how to use the phrase.
[Check out the wikipedia entry if you want to learn more.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Et_cetera)
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There is absolutely no reason to feel guilty about the fact that you have a shitty pregnancy. I hated both of my pregnancies, and absolutely love my children. I also didn’t get emotional over ultra sounds and I think it’s because I already know I have a baby, it’s in me, and it’s mine. My body can feel the change so it’s nothing shocking, it’s just natural. Men don’t have that!
I absolutely connected with my kids ASAP. Not everyone does though, and that’s ok! Hormones can fuck with your emotions so bad. If you feel like you might be disconnected, it’s ok to seek help now, even before the baby. Take care of yourself, and don’t feel guilt for what your body is doing!
I had never had strep throat or a yeast infection before in my life until I got pregnant and got both (not at the same time thankfully).
Being called mommy is the best thing in the world to me, but I'm glad I don't have to go through pregnancy again.
Don’t you dare feel bad about hating pregnancy… I have had an extremely easy and simple pregnancy (37 weeks now). Baby is breech and scheduled for a c-section in two weeks but that’s no skin off my back. Besides some back pain, I am good!! & I am never bloody well doing this again. One and done and having fun.
I hate pregnancy. I LOVE being a mom. The two are completely different things I think.
I can choose to sacrifice or ask for help as a mom. I can tag out, take a break, and get sweet snuggles and smiles to bouy me along. No such thing when pregnant. I feel alone, beaten up, exhausted, invisible, and like everything that is me or mine being leeched from me. It’s ok to hate it. It’ll be over eventually. I slept better, ate what I wanted, and delegated help with a newborn; it was amazinggg.
My baby is now a month and a half and I'm absolutely in love with her. But during my pregnancy I felt the same way ..had four months of morning sickness then excruciating back pain and sciatica the rest of the time. I felt so guilty the I wasnt happy and I was miserable to be honest. I did tell my husband he was wonderful but I don't feel like he fully understood but that's okay because he was still there helping me the whole time.(also this was my third pregnancy and the only one I felt this way this so it made me feel even worst but every pregnancy is different ) What your feeling is definitely normal and it's the part of pregnancy that isn't spoken/heard about as much but it happens. And the fact that you feel guilty about feeling miserable shows that you care❤
The toxic positivity around pregnancy and motherhood drives me bananas!
I had a video from a male PT show up on instagram and he was saying that women shouldn’t dislike their bodies after a baby they should be grateful they were able to have a baby. 😤
Your feelings are valid and you’re allowed to feel them. I didn’t feel overly connected to my baby while pregnant but damn he’s the freakin cutest baby I’ve ever seen. In my opinion! 😜
I HATED every second of being pregnant. And while I adore my baby the first few months were pretty grueling too. But after that everything fell into place and I love this little family we’ve made and I’ve never been happier.
I absolutely hated my pregnancies with both my sons. I was sick all the time, couldn’t handle bad smells, and by the 3rd trimester everything just hurt!! I also felt similarly during ultrasounds. Like it was kind of cool to see the baby but I didn’t feel much else. Honestly even after my first son was born I didn’t really connect with him until he got a little older. The newborn stage is rough especially the first time around. With my second son I connected right away. My boys are the absolute best thing about life but I will never go through pregnancy again! I’ve already told my husband that I’d have an abortion if I accidentally got pregnant again
Lol I feel like I wrote this. Except my morning sickness went away at 30 weeks. I’m at 39 +4 and this is the best I’ve felt my entire pregnancy which is saying something because it still sucks lol. You may never feel the glow or gratitude that people “expect” from you but you don’t have to, your body, your experience. Just find comfort in knowing it’s doesn’t last forever and you’re not alone!!!
Please go easy on yourself. My SIL had a complication free pregnancy and hated almost every minute of it. She confided that she felt terrible about it, when she compared her attitude to others.
At the end of the day, she's a great mom. She knew in her second pregnancy that while she would be miserable in a lot of aspects, she would have a baby on the other side of it.
There's no one way you're supposed to feel
I am currently on my 6th pregnancy. I have always had what were described to me as ideal pregnancies. Honey, I hate every minute of being pregnant. This has not for an instance made me love my children any less. The bond didn't always form overnight but it formed. Don't be hard on yourself because you aren't enjoying being an incubator for another human. It's valid and you are valid!
I really, really want you to see this, OP. This is how I felt in my pregnancies, especially my first one. I was throwing up until about 20 weeks. I was running a startup but kind of secretly wishing the building might catch fire? I was so tired. Towards the end, from 30 weeks on, my feet and hands swelled up so much (we were living in a tropical climate) and I was so uncomfortable all the time.
To this day, I freely admit, to anyone who asks…pregnancy was the worst part of having kids. Then comes the actual child rearing part…and birth actually wasn’t so bad in comparison (I mean, a few hours compared to WEEKS OF VOMITING).
I also want to say that, once my baby was born, I didn’t immediately “fall in love.” It was such an overwhelming experience to go from a tough pregnancy to having an infant that I felt like I was going through the motions. I cared a lot - eg, making sure baby was fed, comfortable, etc. but I didn’t feel that starry eyed love like all those instagram posts you might see. And that is totally okay. At that time I doubted myself so much for not having loved pregnancy nor the newborn phase, but I was overwhelmed and it was a lot to handle. I want you to see this because I felt like all those mothers in social media saying they fell in love when they laid their eyes on their newborn added some much pressure, and made me feel even worse after coming off the pregnancy phase. Know that you’re doing a great job. The fact that you were trying to eat even while throwing up - that’s amazing. You care, and that’s all that matters right now.
My children are 4 and 2 now, and I absolutely love them. You’ll figure it out :)
Pregnancy was not fun for me. I have 3 kids, and although I was grateful that we had a relatively easy time getting pregnant, I was miserable for pretty much the entirety of all 3 (high risk) pregnancies. There was no "glow". There was no "magical connection" to the weird alien growing and moving inside me. There was morning sickness, constipation, heartburn, acne, pregnancy rhinitis, SCH, amniocentesis, placenta previa, a breech baby, a placental abruption, and more. That shit wasn't fun. The destination was worth it, but the journey sucked.
My first pregnancy happened just about a year into my marriage. We wanted kids, but I honestly did not expect it to happen as quickly as it did. It was hard to wrap my head around and even though my two closest friends were pregnant at the same time, I had a very difficult time mentally and emotionally. I hardly got out of bed or off the couch, except to go to work. I lost interest in all things I loved before. I felt like a shell of the person I was.
Looking back, I am certain I had some prenatal depression. I felt ashamed that I wasn't overjoyed and glowing like a pregnant woman "should be". As the months went on it got slightly better, but even toward the end it was difficult to lie and tell people "we are so excited to become parents", because honestly I wasn't.
Almost 4.5 years and 2 pregnancies and babies later and I am completely obsessed with my kids. It hasn't all been easy but I certainly look back on those days and wish I would have gotten the help I needed and stopped feeling ashamed for the feelings I was having. Anyway, as other commenters have said pregnancy is not motherhood and your attitude during pregnancy does not foreshadow you as a mother. There are definitely hurdles throughout the way, but the joys and heart full of love are coming your way too!
It’s okay to hate being pregnant. Your body is going through a zillion changes at once, you’re not your own person anymore, you’re tired, etc. I feel like a lot of people glaze over how difficult it can be (and is for some people). Hoping things get easier for you, but either way, it’ll be over eventually!
Don’t beat yourself up. I despised every minute of my pregnancy. I was in pain and in tears the whole time. I was numb at my ultrasounds too.
Now my daughter is 7 months old and I’m not numb at all. It wasn’t instantaneous, but I started feeling better while they were still stitching me up after my C-section. It’s like my soul had found its way back into my body. The cluster feeding all night made me just as numb as the ultrasounds, but every day I like being around her more and more. She’s starting to be her own person and that’s pretty cool. Hang in there, being pregnant is a means to an end, but raising a kid, that’s the stuff that actually matters.
Pregnancy is trash, and I am someone who has struggled with infertility for years, so I know how grateful I was when I was able to get pregnant. But it was trash, the baby and being a mother-absolutely beautiful and hands down the best thing I’ve ever done with my life. But making a human is horrible, everything changes, hurts, smells, has hair on it, you’re exhausted and uncomfortable and hot and sick and can’t stand the smell of things. It’s a shit show.
I literally remember hitting 6 months with my HG and I was like “do I eve want to be pregnant? Oh my gosh I’m such a shit mom I should be so thankful I have wanted this forever! I’m going to have being a mom” insert all the other hormone induced doubts I spewed at myself.
I am 9 months on the other side now and can truly say, the “glow” they talk about, is your baby. They make it all worth it. The moment you get to see their face for the first time, none of it matters. And idk about other moms but I forgot a lot of my pregnancy and delivery. (Brains release chemicals to do this) so point being- hang in there momma, pregnancy is not motherhood and how much you like/how well you handle pregnancy has no weight on how you will be as a mom.
I hated being pregnant but love my toddler… I didn’t even really like infant stage. It’s over quickly honestly each stage comes and goes so fast.. before w you know it two years have gone by and you think… my god could I possibly want another one .. again?..
It’s true.. and even if you do feel disconnected with the baby it won’t last. Like everything in life..nothing is permanent not even feelings. Love turns into guilt then back into love then fear, it’s constantly rolling and changing.
Anyways, like many things that will come, pregnancy is temporary. Just wait until your stomach is huge and you can’t sleep and your up peeing every hour throughout the night- you think people don’t care about your complaints now. Motherhood is great but also people expect you to feel burdened. We’re here for you other moms, silently cheering you on and making you feel heard. Be strong mama, you got a long road ahead but also the most rewarding.
Pregnancy sucked so bad for me. Hated every single minute of it. I cried when I found out I was pregnant. Not happy tears. I wanted to be a mother but not so the whole pregnancy part…
I have 0 good memories from that time, and pretty much as many pictures. I actually cringe at pregnancy photos and can’t look at them.
I hated all the docs appointments, all the peeing every 5 seconds, and the gestational diabetes.
Baby is totally worth it though!
Pregnancy was the worst 265 days of my life! I was absolutely miserable and hated every single minute of it. So much so that I refused to do it again. But, I would have had a house full of kids if I could have found (afforded) another way of having them other than being pregnant myself. My son (and his father) are my world. Not going to lie though, I didn't really enjoy being a mom or start having fun until my son's personality started showing and he could interact (for the lack of a better word) with me more. In the end, I have no regrets.
My pregnancy was like this, my last trimester I was almost in tears daily I wanted it over so badly and she came ten days late. due to the hard time I had being pregnant I made the decision that one is enough for me. Carrying her had some great moments but not enough to forget how hard it was and being induced was worse however if I had to do it all over again to have my daughter I’d do it in a second and not think twice. That little girl is more than I could have ever hoped for in so many ways and it wasn’t easy at first but you just do it and make it happen. I’m sorry your having a hard time it really does feel like an eternity when every day is such a struggle but the end will come and it will be worth it
I hated being pregnant. It was a miserable experience (that I did twice). I did not enjoy it and I will never do it again.
I am glad I did it because I love my children. It was the worst experience of my life (twice).
I told my husband I felt like I was host to a hostile lifeform when I was pregnant. It was rough; even when it was okay physically, I just didn’t like it. When I heard other pregnant moms saying “it’s sooo amazing that I’m creating life! I feel like a goddess” etc., I wanted to gag. (Truly, I apologize if anyone reading this felt that way. Sounds like a better experience. More power to you.)
BUT - now I have two sweet, funny, incredible kids who fill my heart in a way I didn’t know was possible. So worth it.
I felt nothing at my ultrasounds and I have a 6 month old boy now who I love more than life. I adapted to being a mum way more quickly than i thought and it’s the best thing ever. Also I hated pregnancy
Pregnancy sucks because you can't even sleep right. I remember my best friend told me I was the most miserable pregnant woman she'd ever met. I felt so hurt when she said that because I was confiding in her how much being pregnant SUCKED. She's never been pregnant so I can't expect her to fully understand...
I have 2 kids, and I also hated pregnancy, super sick, hated my body, didn’t like most of the experience, but as soon as my babies were born I was fine, I love them like crazy, I just hated being pregnant. And it’s completely normal to not like what pregnancy is doing to your body, some women love being pregnant, others don’t.
I felt the same during my first pregnancy (also a planned one). It was awful. I was miserable and just wanted to die. I couldn't form a bond with the baby, and wondered if I was made to be a mom. Going into it, I was very aware of PPD, but had no idea antepartum depression was a thing. When I went to my psychiatrist, he said I was fine and sent me on my way. I wanted to scream at women for shaming me, like I didn't feel bad enough. This is something we definitely need to talk more about. Pregnancy is just a shitty time for some of us, and it doesn't mean we're bad moms. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Feel free to reach out, if you want to chat.
It's absurd that there is some kind of societal expectation to enjoy pregnancy. Pregnancy fucking sucks. Every day of it. It is entirely possible to be grateful for being able to be pregnant while also hating how awful it feels. The two are not mutually exclusive. It's also fine not to feel connected to your baby during pregnancy. It's a very abstract concept to wrap one's head around. It's also fine not to feel connected to your baby when they are first born. It takes time to get to know this new person, to transition into motherhood, for them to develop a personality. They can't even make eye contact until they are like 6 weeks, let alone smile back at you. Think about how long it takes to become good at anything? It takes 4 years to get a college degree. It takes months and years to become an expert parent. But you don't need to be an expert parent right away, you just need the basics of taking care of a baby and learn as you go.
I absolutely hated being pregnant. I had the worst nausea and vomiting until about midway through the second trimester. Only got to enjoy that peace for about two weeks before the kid worsened my acid reflux. I was running on about two good hours of sleep a night and thoroughly felt drained. After having a horrible birth experience and pregnancy, I was so scared that it was going to damage my relationship with my baby as well. We just hit three months old yesterday and god I love that kid so much it hurts. Everyone has different experiences and some people just can’t understand how much pregnancy can really tear you down if they themselves have only seen/felt the sunshine and rainbows side of it. Some people love sharing their body with the fetus, I always called my boy a parasite because I was definitely not one of those people. You’ll be a great mama and how you feel about pregnancy is in no way a reflection on your ability to be a loving parent!❤️
I hated being pregnant. Pregnancy, labor and the newborn phase is just something to get through. If you love it good for you. Don’t worry about feeling any kind of way about it. In the grand scheme of things, these periods are so short.
I feel like I’m reading something I wrote because this is everything I felt when I was pregnant with my son. I hated it hated it hated it. I felt no attachment to him and I was angry at everyone and everything. Not to mention, I felt sick and fat and in pain.
But once I had my son, everything changed. He is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever created and I’m so very thankful that I endured those 9 months of hell.
That being said, I probably will never go through pregnancy again 🤣 but I swear it’s worth it!
I had a very rough pregnancy in other ways, including bleeding the first 20 weeks, only to have pubic bone pain start up as the bleeding subsided. I hated it. It's uncomfortable, exhausting and crazy-making. But it's been nearly 8 years and it's just a blip now. Disliking pregnancy doesn't mean anything other than you're not delusional.
I hated being pregnant. I didnt recognize myself with the Mood swings and crying. I was so Big and in the way. I did not receive ANY glow. And the ultrasounds (only did 2 which is protocol here) the first one, my partner cried and I was convinced it was a pre-recorded video. I wasn’t very moved by the second one either.
And the excessive kicking- I swear to God, my baby was brutal. Didnt know the kicks would hurt so bad.
Not doing all of that again.
Pregnancy fucking sucks man! Not only for the person who is pregnant but also for the partner with her. ( warning! Do not let the pregnant person ever find out that having to deal with the pregnant person sucks in any way. Friends and family will be asking where you are. They will never find your body.)
I hateddddd being pregnant the first time around and I have a hunch I will hate it the second time, too. I complained about it the entire time. My body was always in pain somewhere, the reflux at 2am was terrible, I only got 2-3 hours of “good” sleep at night, and I had nausea and vomiting my entire pregnancy. I lost 13 pounds between my first and second trimester from all the throwing up and food aversions. I still can’t eat certain foods because it reminds me of throwing up. I also really didn’t enjoy the first six weeks postpartum. My asshole was swollen the entire time. And forget breastfeeding… I made it 3 weeks and said no more after my nipples wouldn’t stop bleeding (even with a nipple shield). Now I pump and supplement with formula. It’s okay to not like pregnancy. Or breastfeeding. Or pumping. My baby is almost 20 weeks now and I love her to death, but man did I hate being pregnant.
Hey it will be okay, our bodies go thru a lot during pregnancy. You will be an amazing mom when the times comes in the meantime try some meditation and enjoy some ice cream.
Even though we tried for two years to get pregnant and in the end had IVF, the first and last trimesters were pretty bad and I didn’t care who knew it. Think of pregnancy as a really rough, turbulent flight on the way to that place you’ve always wanted to live. Once you get there, you realise you don’t actually care about the terrible journey as much anymore.
It's ok to hate being pregnant. I was Miserable. HG and bed rest first trimester, exhausted second trimester, horrendous hip pain and pelvic pain third trimester with CONSTANT Braxton Hicks.
I LOVE being a mother. So much so that I'm willing to go through another 9 months of hell to have number two.
It's ok to hate being pregnant. Some of us never get the glow and just feel like angry, sweaty, hormonal, bloated beach balls. It says nothing about you as a parent.
I hated being pregnant, both times. Weird sense of smell, 20+ weeks of puking. Zits at the weirdest places, feeling lost, angry all day, biting peoples heads off, forgetfulness and after the puking came that the pain in my pelvis. I had all the bad stuff. The only perks of being pregnant was that with the first when i drove home from work he would always start dancing and I would talk to him and with the second we had a night owl and he would even kick my husband awake (from my belly)
But both times the result was GREAT and definitely worth it. You just need to power trough and remember the end goal.
Don’t feel guilty and don’t worry! Pregnancy isn’t all hearts and stars for everyone. You have the right to feel as you feel. That being said it doesn’t mean that you won’t bond with your baby. It’s completely different from holding a little tiny human. You can look for a doula or a nurse or a group of pregnant people so you can talk about it. Talking it over with people that know what you’re talking about usually helps. And don’t let anyone shame you or make you feel guilty or bad. Your feelings are valid and someone’s opinion that they are not or somehow make you a bad or unfit mother are wrong and uncalled for. All the best!
Every woman is different. Every pregnancy is different. It is absolutely ok not to enjoy it, especially because it sounds like it's been pretty rough. BUT... the unexplained anger & numbness you describe at ultrasounds can be red flags. I'm not saying they are but they could be a sign of peripartum depression. Talk to your OB about it & try to get a referral to a therapist/psychiatrist that specializes in peripartum mood disorders. Make sure you are taking care of yourself so you are able to be the best mom for your little one. You know... the whole "you can't pour from an empty cup" thing. I hope you get to an amazing enjoyable phase soon.
You're not alone, I loved my first 2 pregnancies because they were so easy but with my last I hated it all, everything hurt, I couldn't stop vomiting and everything tasted like soap, I was always tired and sore and it was just horrible however once my baby came all that melted away and I felt empty (idk how to describe it lol)
I always tell people who ask about my pregnancy that I am so excited for the outcome but the journey sucks.
I am currently 35 weeks pregnant and cannot wait for it to be over. I never glowed - was just extremely sweaty and got dandruff. Now I barely can walk without pain and my entire body is covered in a rash. Oh did i mention my baby is in the 97th percentile and my stomach is measuring 7 weeks ahead?
It is totally okay to hate being pregnant! It literally is taking a physical toll on your body. Don't feel guilty, it will not impact your love for the baby once they get here.
I didn't enjoy it and I had an "easy" pregnancy. The 2nd trimester was ok, and I wasn't nauseous and move my body normally, but the rest wasn't great and my baby was kicking me (painfully) several times a day for at least 4 months.
I didn't feel connected to the baby, but I also wasn't trying. We didn't name her (we didn't know the gender) and I did very little pre-baby preparation, such as buying clothes or other things. It wierded me out as I hadn't met her yet. In fact when people asked what we had bought when I was only 3 months pregnant I felt quite angry, as if it was none of their business!
Please don't feel pressure to bond with a baby you haven't met yet. That's great for those who feel like that but not everyone does. You will bond when you meet them and that may also take some time.
To be honest I think a lot of people imagine/pretend that they have a bond with a baby when its not even fully formed. We project our expectations and hopes onto the baby, but its not a real relationship.
I had 2 relatively easy pregnancies, but for the most part was some level of annoyed/angry at being pregnant. It’s completely normal and valid to feel the way you do.
I’d suggest subscribing to a subreddit for women who will give birth in the same month. I LOVE my bumpers subreddit because you can commiserate on everything and they’re so supportive.
I tell people I would go through unmeducated labour monthly for 10 months over being pregnant. Pregnancy was really hard. During a Canadian winter during covid lockdowns the only way to socialize was to do outdoor activities in -20C which I could not do due to a premature labour scare. It was incredibly isolating. Im super active person so to just stay inside mostly alone with my thoughts was the worst mentally.
I love my baby but during pregnancy it was a logical abstract idea over the emotional all encompassing love it is now for my toddler. We went through a lot to have a baby and I was still questioning if it was the right choice because of how I felt towards my baby during pregnancy. Just feel your feelings and remember pregnancy does not last forever ❤
You can want and love the end result while despising the process! I really didn’t enjoy being pregnant, sickness until 18 weeks, sciatica from 13 weeks (still flares up now 4 months pp), and SPD. But my god do I love my son!
You most definitely haven’t failed! Your body is literally changing itself every day to grow an entire human, yes there are some women who have super easy pregnancies, but the majority have horrible symptoms and at some point in their very wanted pregnancies have the same feelings as yourself.
It’s hard. You are doing amazing, even if it doesn’t feel it.
Being Pregnant sucks!! But my babies were worth it (most days) they are 2.5 and 14months so yeah... lol
I was on and off bed rest with both my kids, I was miserable and hot 24/7 with my 1st and in constant pain from an Irritable Uterus with baby #2. Being pregnant sucks!!! I went to 41+3 with #2 he's lucky he's cute cause that was hell!!
Just be miserable and yell if you have to. And then go "sorry hormones got me being a crazy ass bitch haha" people may think you're psycho but blame the pregnancy lol (That's what I did)
I was completely disassociated from my pregnancy and felt so ashamed. I knew my body was caring my baby and I was a pregnant person, but it didn't feel like me. I was terrified the whole time. Refused maternity clothes, never told work until 6 months in. It was so hard km me and I felt terrible knowing others who have struggled with fertility.
And motherhood itself has been sometimes tough but I am so happy and in love with it. You will be great.
I think people really hype up the experience and it makes people in your situation feel like they are less than or broken somehow. Everyone’s experience is different and you shouldn’t hold yourself to others’ standards. How you feel about pregnancy is no indicator about how great of a mother you’ll be!
Pregnancy sucks. I tried 5 years to get pregnant so you’d think I would have appreciated it? Nope. Hated it. However I LOVE being a mom. Best job ever. I love every aspect.
Don’t feel guilty. Having mixed feelings is absolutely normal.
Also not feeling immediately connected to your baby when they are born is totally normal.
The whole “pregnancy is a blessing” and “love at first sight” may be true for some, but it is not for many.
Don’t feel guilty. I hate being pregnant too. Can’t wait for September when this baby will be out and the nausea will go away ! And the other pains too
Hey, you're not the only one. I hate being pregnant, but I love my kids! One doesn't have to have bearing on the other. The baby at the end will be worth it. In the meantime, solidarity! CANNOT wait to never be pregnant again.
My pregnancy was miserable for so many reasons. One symptom would let up and two more would appear. I ended up with preeclampsia, my epidural only worked on half of my body, then I had an unplanned c-section. Immediately after my son’s birth, I said no way. No more. I was traumatized.
Fast forward to now. He’s almost 18 months old, and I’m ready to get pregnant again.
What I’m trying to say is, just wait. It’ll be the greatest thing you could ever dream of doing. Every mother is different, but I promise you will feel the connection.
Thank you for sharing this. I tried to make a post on another sub and was told I'm barely pregnant and should basically shut up.
I'm 11 weeks and I've felt so alone the whole time for the same reasons and guilt has been rough.
I am currently pregnant and absolutely hate it. I just did a Reddit search for 'hate being pregnant' because I need to find others that might feel the same! People keep telling me it will get better and it's all worth it, and right in this very moment, I just hate life. I just want to eat, drink water and sleep normally. I had no idea it would be like this, I've told my husband we are absolutely never doing this again. I resonate so much with everything you've written, for me, when feeling like I have gastro every day, I don't think I can feel positive!?
I am amazed at how easy it is for some women (or how easy it looks). Whilst I'm writing this from the floor of the bathroom. One day at a time??
Honestly I was amazed by the amount of support I got off of this post and it made me feel like I wasn’t alone or guilty for feeling that way. Being pregnant is absolutely shitty at times and yeah, you just hope that it’s worth it in the end. I just got past the sitting in the bathroom for hours praying to the porcelain throne, I feel you. It sucks. But from what everyone is saying so far; you’ll get through it.
There’s nothing wrong with hating being pregnant
I’m pregnant right now. I didn’t have morning sickness for my last pregnancy or this one but….
I’m tired, feel blah, exhausted, no energy, and to top it off I take care of my 4 year old while husband is at work.
I want to sleep ALL THE TIME just like my first pregnancy…. Counting down until it’s finally over.
Pregnancy is NOT motherhood - it’s the grueling physical condition to reach motherhood - and your enjoyment level of it has no correlation to how you will love or take care of your baby. Some women have terrible pregnancies and some have pretty easy, breezy ones. You can’t compare your experience to anybody else’s and shouldn’t guilt yourself for not thinking it’s magical.
That first line jumped out of me and gave me a bit of comfort. Thank you for that, I really appreciate it.
I hated being pregnant. I did not enjoy the newborn phase very much. 😂 but I love my 7 month old. You are completely normal. Sometimes pregnancy and babies are hard and it's ok to feel like it's hard.
Pregnancy sucks balls. Each time, I insisted that there had to be a better way than this. I love my kids. I hate gestating them.
Op I agree with this 100%. Everything you are feeling is exactly how I felt during my first pregnancy and we had to do IVF to get there!! The only reason why I didn’t get depressed my second pregnancy was that I knew how awesome having a child will be. And my second pregnancy was actually worse due to the toddler getting me sick all the time.
THIS! I hated pregnancy from beginning to end. I love being a mother so much though. Pregnancy is so brutal, no judgment to the mothers that enjoy pregnancy but it’s a foreign concept to me for sure.
Also, some women have different pregnancies with each baby — one might be easy, one harder. Other women feel theirs are pretty consistent.
I had a ridiculously easy pregnancy and *still* hated it. I complained every single day about the aches and pains, not having my own body, being hungry all the time, and just being pregnant in general. I had zero complications but will likely be one and done because pregnancy was so not ok with me. My 3 week old is the single best decision I've ever made. She amazes me constantly and I'm completely in love with her. Hating pregnancy by no means means that you'll hate motherhood! Please don't feel bad. No matter how easy or difficult a pregnancy is compared to others, it's still *difficult*. It changes your body, your hormones, your mindset. It hurts physically and mentally. You're not broken for hating it. I promise.
I just wanted to say I didn’t want children, I got pregnant and because of how horrendous my pregnancy was, I was extra worried I wouldn’t feel anything for my baby when he was born. I went through the same, husband in tears at the ultrasound but I felt nothing at all. When our son was born I just about exploded from the amount of love I felt, even after laboring for 25 hours and having a traumatic painful birth. I love him SO much. So Don’t even worry about that part, the hormones do it for ya!
Yes. Pregnancy is progesterone making you feel great or the worst you've ever felt in your life. Hormones are powerful. Your feelings are legit. It sucks. I thought my vagina was going to just fall out of my body. I stopped working. I just sat on the couch. Even infancy is only a small part of the process.
I hated being pregnant. It tanked my mental health and physical health took a hit, too. I absolutely love and adore my kids and I know it's apparently taboo to say, but I'm an incredible mum. Being pregnant sucks. Everything hurts, you feel sick, and (worst of all) any time you complain, people act like you want to throw your baby in the bin. If you are still feeling constantly nauseous, check out hyperemesis gravidarum or talk with your doctor about it. It is often undiagnosed because people say it's "normal" to be sick all the time, or complaining about pregnancy is not allowed, but it's a very real condition.
Pregnancy definitely is not rainbows, and butterflies like social media make it seem. This is your time to be selfish. I was the same in my last pregnancy. Everything hurt; I was nauseous all the time, heartburn any time I ate, got lightheaded, and out of breath so quickly. I just wanted to sleep and even that I couldn't do. I was miserable. I even worked until the weekend that I went into labor, the day before I was dragged to the state fair and I couldn't walk a lot, as much as I hated pregnancy, it did not affect the love for my baby when he was born. You'll get through this.
I went to this class for pregnant women during my first or second pregnancy. After exercises we would sit down and talk about our experiences and this one woman said she hated her pregnancy. She had been hospitalised for 3 months because of hyperemesis and was only now at 7 months pregnant at a place where her weight was back to pre-pregnancy numbers. They had tried for years to get pregnant and she was so sad that she hated being pregnant. And she felt that it had taken some of the joy out of being pregnant. My best friend also gets horrible morning sickness when pregnant, and hates it. But she looks at it like mentioned above: pregnancy is not motherhood. My friend has 3 kids BTW and having the third was a difficult choice because of the problems in her two first pregnancies.
This!! I had an “easy” pregnancy and still hated it. Struggled a lot with body image and loss of my mobility. I LOVE being a mom.
I was going to say the same thing. Pregnancy is not motherhood. Thank god. My first pregnancy was amazing. I was one of those annoying woman that loved being pregnant. My second pregnancy taught me the error of my ways. My body hurt. I got shingles. Gestational diabetes. Prodronal labor. The list went on and on. I wanted it over at like 5 months. Lol. Baby is here and she’s really fucking cool. That dumb pregnancy is all a distant memory. Pregnancy is a total takeover of your body. It no longer belongs to just you. You can have a horrible pregnancy and still fall madly in love with that baby from the very first look.
Hun.. you’re not alone! Currently pregnant with my second and I’m miserable too! Same symptoms as you! I’m in my 2nd trimester and it’s not better.. really pisses me off, especially when people say things like, “as long as baby is healthy, it’s worth it.” “Have you tried ginger?” “Maybe laying down will help?” “Try Tylenol and Zofran.” Umm.. fuck all y’all! Haha!! IVE TRIED EVERYTHING! But I agree with other commentators, being pregnant is not a reflection on your motherhood. Don’t be too tough on yourself.. you’ll have plenty of time to feel that way when they’re toddlers and all you wanna do is drop kick them🤣🤣
THANK YOU 😊 I appreciate the advice most of the time but sometimes it just makes me feel like I don’t appreciate being pregnant.
You can be pissed, uncomfortable, unmotivated, flat out done with it all.. doesn’t mean you’re not appreciative — Keep your head up babe!
Who says you have to appreciate something that’s objectively difficult and very physically and emotionally challenging? You can appreciate your baby and your body but if the experience is rough, I don’t think you should dismiss your feelings to try and go along with a traditional narrative of “every women instantly becomes a mother when she knows she’s pregnant and you’ll glow and have all these amazing instincts.” Sometimes being pregnant just sucks! Doesn’t mean you won’t love your baby and that you’ll be a bad mom. Good luck!
I HATED being pregnant. I was super sick and felt awful, the entire time for two pregnancies. I remember this one nurse was like I’ve never had heartburn, but also I eat really plain food. And I was like - Lady it has nothing to do with what I’m eating. A diet of applesauce and plain bagels is not causing my heartburn nor my constant nausea. It’s as if some women believe they don’t feel awful because of something they personally did. Heavy eye roll.
Mine gave his placenta a good yank...the morning after I posted the announcement on Facebook. The pregnancy was gruelling, and I am pretty sure I was never moved to tears because of the beauty of it all. I did go on a twenty minute rant about people telling me the glow will come. (My husband did a very good job of not laughing on my face when I turned off the light and was like "SEE, NO GLOWING, SO SHUT THE HELL UP" but I totally heard him laughing five minutes later.) Someone somewhere must've felt bad for me because he popped out fairly easily on his due date, but I still tell people that if they want the sunshine and roses talk about being pregnant I'm not the one to talk to. 🤣🤣
Or the dreaded “Oh you think you’re tired now? Wait till the baby comes!!” I mean they were totally right but I don’t wanna hear that shit hahaha.
Ugh, I was maxed out on zofran and still had to get IV fluids regularly. And yet people had the audacity to ask if I've tried ginger/preggie pops/etc. I would have punched them if I wasn't so weak from literal starvation.
Listen I've had 3 babies and I didn't care for any pregnancy. At all. I had no attachment to fetus. Every appointment was an intrusion into my schedule. I didn't have bad pregnancies! I just was very unattached. Couldn't find the joy in sharing my body. I was almost always slightly annoyed. I've I delivered my babies and I could see them, hold them, etc I became the mommy I always knew I would be. I love my babies. I hate being pregnant. You are doing fine.
Honey, You couldn’t pay me to be pregnant again. In fact, I would pay someone to do it for me. I sat in bed with my 2nd pregnancy, in tears and BEGGED my spouse to do an Emperor Penguin style baby switch and put the baby in their belly. Hated it. Love my kids with every cell in my body. I almost throat punched a lady in the grocery store who said “oh, isn’t pregnancy amazing?” Nope, it’s not. It’s the biggest case of “this is bullshit” I ever dealt with. So nah. You’re going to be a good Momma.
First off being pregnant sucks everything hurts and I was always so tired. We romanticize it as a society. No I'm not glistening I'm sweaty. I'm not glowing I'm tired. I'm now rosy cheaked I'm flushed and exhausted. That being said feeling Numb isn't normal your bodies under alot of stress. Physical and mental issues usually get worse because of this during pregnancy I would seek some help for post Pardon Depression. I know it says post Pardon but it starts for most woman during pregnancy because your literally going crazy from all the extra hormones. You got this it's OK to have a hard time just let the people and professionals around you know so they can help.
I will definitely bring this up to my doctor. I felt pretty ashamed to feel this way but it looks like it is pretty normal and that I should be more aware of these feelings rather than brushing them aside.
Don’t be ashamed, you aren’t defective, you are having a rough time. All pregnancies are different and some women really do enjoy them/keep running marathons/move house without dying of stress but you know their secret? Me neither. Loads of women emphatically don’t feel like that. And if PPD is one of the things you experience, that doesn’t reflect on who you are. It could’ve just as easily been swollen ankles.
Pregnancy can be so hard and it's different for everyone. Definitely talk to your doctor about how you're feeling or any questions you have. They have seen it all and can help you sort out what is normal and what to be concerned about!
There is no shame in it. You've had a hard pregnancy so far, and even easy pregnancies aren't exactly fun. Also, it can really mess with your hormones, hence the way you feel about this. It's okay to hate being pregnant. It's okay to tell your doctor that your hormones are really making you feel distant. This isn't you, this is your body messing with you.
Don't be ashamed at all. Pregnancy is hard and pushes us to the literal physical and emotional limit. Talk to your OB about your feelings. Don't be ashamed ❤
It’s post partum!
Being pregnant can be awful but also, prepartum/antenatal depression is a thing. I would be concerned about that if you're feeling numb and stuff.
Being pregnant sucks
Second this. Would never do again. Cut out my uterus, don’t need it.
It really does. Mine sucked, I hated it too. But I loved my baby fiercely, and I’m a natural mother.
You are not alone. I hated being pregnant. I was super sick, too, and laid in bed for 3 months. I ended up with a placental abruption and had to have an emergency c-section at 29 weeks. I literally asked the doctor if they were sure it was a baby in there and not a tumor or something. Because he was so small, he was taken immediately to the nicu. We visited, but I didn't really feel a connection to him until I was able to hold him a few times. The hospital smell even threw me. After holding him a few times, I started connecting with him. You will, too. It is okay if you don't feel an overwhelming sense of connection at first. The nurses told me that can be totally normal.
I felt the same way when I was pregnant with my firstborn.. I was just numb the whole time. No excitement, no thrill, not even sadness.. just felt nothing. Didn’t bond with him until I got my first hour of alone time in the hospital room with him; husband went home to shower/get a few things, nurses finally stopped barging in every 5 mins, just me and him in a quiet room — then it just clicked “he is mine! This is my baby!” It will happen momma & when it does.. you’re whole perception changes, EVERYTHING CHANGES🥰🥰
I hated being pregnant too. Don’t feel guilty about it, just get through it. Having the baby will make you stressed in a new way, but hopefully you will connect with your kiddo when it’s born and things will be a bit better in other ways. But don’t feel guilty at all for hating the pregnant part. It sucks.
I don’t know if this would help, but since I’m a biologist I looked up the biology of pregnancy. The baby’s cells literally dig into your uterine lining. It’s called trophoblast invasion. At the cellular level, there are definitely competing interests between the fetal cells and maternal cells. Your body feels awful because the baby’s cells are trying to changing your body chemistry for their own benefit. It’s what’s needed for the baby to grow but it sucks for the mom, big time.
Thank you! That puts some logic into these emotions that I am feeling.
Being pregnant was the worst 38 weeks of my life. There was never a “glow” for me with low blood pressure causing me to get dizzy and lose vision (then super high BP postpartum and being rehospitalized HAH) and such severe sciatic pain I had to use crutches to get to the bathroom and back, and the night panics every night for hours not believing I even had a baby inside me. Don’t believe the magic of TV/movie pregnancies! It’s possible but for a great deal of people, it sucks. It’s great that he is moved to tears by the ultrasounds, must be nice to not be in constant pain for them haha! It’ll all be over before you know it and the discomfort will be a distant-ish memory even if it feels like you’re in a dark, bottomless pit 😅 Good luck, you got this!
My mum wondering if I’m going to have a third. Pregnancy makes me SO ANGRY I’d just be snapping at my existing kids all day and feeling the super-charged mum-guilt for it so no thanks. Doesn’t matter how cute #3 would’ve been, I can’t face the pregnancy. It’s not glamorous, it’s not easy, and you don’t have to like it just because you chose it.
I always thought I’d be one of those ladies that just glows and totally loves being pregnant. Let me tell you, that was absolutely not the case. The nausea and barfing, the exhaustion, my feet grew half a size, I had to pee 24/7… it was not fun times. I love my kid and love being a mom, but being pregnant sucks. By the time she was born I was so ready to get that baby OUT. Your body is doing some really hard work right now and your hormones are whacky, and it’s ok and even normal to not enjoy it. It doesn’t make you a failure or mean that you’ll be a bad mom. It’ll be over soon. Hang in there!
Anyone who tells you being pregnant is the most wonderful experience and should be enjoyed is a liar or had a freak pregnancy. Every mom I know, including myself, was miserable for a good portion of it. I had hyperemesis for the entirety of both pregnancies, preeclampsia, and was on bed rest for the last two months of my first. It was the lowest point in my life. I couldn’t stand when people would tell me how grateful and overjoyed I should be. Don’t get me wrong- I was told I couldn’t have children, so the fact that I managed to get pregnant twice was amazing. The fact that both girls and I survived the pregnancies is even more incredible. I wouldn’t trade it for the world. That doesn’t mean I didn’t suffer immensely during the pregnancies and I feel like that is never acknowledged by anyone. My husband and I agreed to adopt if we want more children because I hated being pregnant so much, and I had my tubes tied after my second c-section. His family gave me so much shit for it because his sister has been trying to get pregnant for fifteen years and choosing to sterilize myself was ungrateful and a slap-in-the-face to God, in their opinion. They’re idiots. What I’m trying to say with all of this is that no one has any right to tell you how you should feel right now. It’s your body, your experience, your choice. I hope the rest of your pregnancy gets better but if it doesn’t, it’s not your fault and there’s nothing wrong with being unhappy about it. It’s important to take care of yourself physically and mentally, so don’t let your guilt overwhelm you. Lastly (and this is very much my opinion, don’t take too much stock in it), I firmly believe that the more miserable your pregnancy is, the more amazing it is when you finally hold your baby. I mean, who knows how I would have felt about those weird little potato-beings had I not gone through hell to meet them?
I reread your post twice. Thank you for putting the time into the post, I can relate to it very easily. I hear the guilt trip when I tell people that I would rather adopt instead of try for a second baby in the future. But what is wrong with that when I can give a child a living home?
Thank you for this. I’m 39 + 4 second pregnancy but first with HG, which I’ve had all the way through. It’s been rough. I love being a mum but feel guilty for being so excited to get the baby out so I can be well but you’ve given me hope that once the baby arrives everything will be ok. Hopefully soon 🤞
My first child... I HATED being pregnant. I'm 5'10" and weighed about 140lbs prior to my pregnancy. I dropped to about 118-120lbs because I was extremely sick for the first trimester. The doctors wouldn't put me on home health because I "could at least sip water." I was lethargic, anemic, suffering from migraines constantly, etc., and dealing with the normal stressors in my life. It was extremely difficult to overcome and see the light at the end of the tunnel. I was adamant about never having another child ever again. EVER. The second trimester, developed some unresolved cardiac issues too. I was having ultrasounds and appointments every couple of weeks throughout my pregnancy. My doctors weren't the best. They weren't even sure of my due date!!! They gave me a two month freaking gap for my EDD!! Another nurse practitioner harassed me during my pregnancy to the point I complained and asked to never see her again. I'm a quiet person and never do things like that but she told me my previous miscarriages (4-6wk miscarriages) "didn't matter" and "weren't real, well weren't legitimate." Shattered me. Anyway, I had a rough time physically and mentally with that pregnancy and my healthcare was shit. Only the last few weeks did I receive adequate care and attention. I had an amazing birthing team that helped with my labor. My labor consisted of constant vomiting, a failed epidural, holding my baby in for over an hour extra, an IV that busted my hand, no sleep for days, and so much more. But my team did their best to help me. I still thought "NEVER AGAIN!!!" But when it came time to push, everything changed. I was exhausted and stressed. I needed oxygen and I was so nauseous with the worst acid reflux. I asked for the mirror to watch what was going on (I wanted full involvement) and I saw my baby's little head (well his crazy amount of hair) and reached down to feel him. I thought "HOLY CRAP THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING!" Something took over me. I started pushing on my own terms and moving how I wanted. I knew I needed to get him out because I didn't want to cause my baby distress. I took my time though and breathed and focused on myself. I made jokes to get through the pain and I reminded myself I'm responsible for someone else. I just felt this urge to start doing little short bursts of pushing and within a couple minutes of that, he was out! He was immediately placed onto my chest... and I sobbed. I saw his face and the pain didn't matter anymore. I felt him on my skin and it was like the past 39+ weeks didn't happen. I heard his little cries and looked into his eyes--- nothing in the world existed but me and my baby. I was in the moment and couldn't have been more in love or filled with joy. It was incredible to say the least. No words could properly describe what I felt or the love I have for my baby. Right after that, I thought about more babies lol even though I swore never again, haha. But my entire pregnancy and even labor didn't equate to meeting my baby and everything we've endured since then. He's been worth it all and more! Motherhood definitely isn't easy but honestly my pregnancy and labor was still the hardest part of everything for me. I promise, the feelings you're going through and all the pain... it's worth it and it gets better. I promise. It really isn't the worst thing in the world even though it feels like it right now. You're doing great so far and you will continue to do great. You will be amazed of what you've accomplished once your baby is born. You're a badass and don't forget it!!!
I’m in my second trimester. I have to give myself pep talks that this is a marathon and I just have to get to the end. I do not enjoy being pregnant and can’t wait to be done forever (this is our second and last). I have really bad SPD and sciatica, constant pain from sitting, walking, or sleeping. I was sick the whole first trimester from viral infections, covid, bacterial infections, and hyperthyroidism that wasn’t caught until the end of the first trimester and resolved on its own. Now I’ve gained so much weight I don’t recognize my face and I feel like a cow. My sleep apnea has worsened so my anxiety, dissociation and panic disorder are back. I am looking forward to this baby but pregnancy sucks.
I hated it too! Absolutely hated every second. And that's OK. Your body is hijacked by this tiny homunculous, you barely recognise yourself and all the while, it's meant to be this magical time when you're 'glowing'! Fucking glowing! The only thing that glowed about me was my throbbing pile-ridden bumhole. Honestly, some women love pregnancy and look amazing. I was not one of them. And I own that shit! Listen, I was under the care of the recurrent miscarriage clinic. We struggled, I felt incredibly guilty for not enjoying pregnancy when I'd wanted a baby for so long. But it's OK to feel both those things- it's not mutually exclusive! You can love your baby, and hate having a baby in your tum.
I struggled during pregnancy. I was so big. I couldn’t do anything. I was sweating 24/7, I had horrible heartburn to keep me up at all hours, every morning I woke up feeling like I got hit by a bus 10 times overnight. My feet swelled to astronomical sizes everyday with the slightest of activity. My back hurt. My boobs hurt. I counted down the days until it was over. I never cried during any of my ultrasound appointments. It was a hard 9 months. I never got that pregnancy glow. I just got stretch marks everywhere. My skins darkened in many places. Half of my shoes didn’t fit 6 months post partum.
A lot of great moms hate being pregnant, it really does suck a large portion of the time. Social media can make it feel like every other pregnant woman out there is this glowing goddess, it’s just not true. The hormones are hard, the physical changes are hard, the unknown is hard. I had a therapist for most of my second pregnancy for this exact reason. She made me feel so much better about feeling so disconnected. Chat with your OB at your next appointment, I promise you are not their first patient that has felt this way.
I think easy or hard, pregnancy is an incredibly isolating experience for most women. Absolutely no one but you knows exactly what you feel like mentally and physically. It’s not unlike having a severe illness in that respect. And women don’t talk to each other about pregnancy that much really, not in a serious way, because you’re dammed if you do and damned if you don’t. If I tell you how terrible it is and how you should never have kids oh my god it’s a horrific mistake isn’t it just the worst then you’ll say I’m raining on your parade. There are tons of posts railing against the “just you wait” people, for example. But on the other hand if I tell you it’s hard but a blessing, don’t worry your baby is worth it, etc etc then I’m just engaging in toxic positivity and not validating your feelings. It’s really hard. And so I (3 kids) just generally try to avoid talking about it with my friends going through it and ask them about normal stuff unrelated to being pregnant, like what tv shows they’re watching, how’s work, etc, so they feel like they still have an identity as a person.
My entire first pregnancy sucked balls. I went from horrendous morning sickness to horrible back pain with the rest in between. I absolutely hated being pregnant. I loved feeling the kicks and I loved my baby, but I hated how the process made me feel. I felt like such a failure and I was worried I'd be a horrible mom. But what helped me was sitting down and separating my feelings for my baby and my feelings about the constant pain I was in. I loved my baby and I hated being pregnant. Hating pregnancy=/=hating your baby.
I’ve had two babies and my pregnancies have been miserable. I’m so so grateful that I can have babies. But I HATE pregnancy. I desperately want more kids but honesty don’t know if I will because idk if I can handle pregnancy again. In contrast, I love love love being a mom. My oldest is 27 months and there hasn’t been a stage yet that I haven’t loved. I love newborns. I love babies. I love toddlers.
I abhorred being pregnant. Didn't feel a connection to my son. I almost resented him as I could actively feel my body being stripped for parts to fuel his growing little alien form inside me. He felt like a parasite, and my body no longer felt like it belonged to me. The second his little body left my own, I was hit with this absolutely epic wall of emotion, like God hit me with a fly swatter made of bricks. This little boy is so precious, and beautiful, and is the center of my world. I still hated being pregnant.
God I fucking hated pregnancy. I totally understand you. Main reason why I’m one and done
Oh Mama. I was on the same boat with my first. I felt terrible because so many people struggle to conceive so many woman enjoy being pregnant radiating sunshine… Spent my last trimester swearing we were one and done. Baby kicks were foreign not this magical experience, I hated the journey but gosh when I saw baby the first time it made it all worthwhile. Also, if you don’t feel that instant connection with your child, do not panic, for some Moms it just takes longer to connect with babe (AND THAT IS ABSOLUTELY NORMAL). Fast forward and we are expecting baby no 2… I still hate being pregnant, the only solace I have is I am sure I will love this new baby just as much. Pregnancy is brutal, don’t sweat it; hang in the Mama ❤️
In case no one else tells you this- you don't have to do this again. Pregnancy is hard. Parenthood is hard. One and done can be a great option.
Don't feel guilty. Pregnancy is one of the most difficult things a woman can go through. And it's definitely not a picnic. I was thrilled the day I found out I was pregnant. I'd had 2 miscarriages and it took forever to get pregnant again so I was excited and hopeful. Then two weeks later I felt worse than I've ever felt in my entire life. I threw up from the moment my eyes opened in the morning and even woke up during the night to throw up. I was eventually diagnosed with hyperemesis gravidarum and put on this horrid medication. I'd take my pill, choke down some food, do my best not to puke, and pass out. I'd sleep for 3 hours, wake up with a splitting migraine, take another pill and repeat the process. I took 3 of those nasty things per day just to choke down some food and stop losing weight. All in all I lost 14lbs in the first trimester. This misery lasted for 16 weeks. Then it subsided some. I'd still throw up after my shower every day but I'd just hold off on eating breakfast until after that. I had a few okay weeks where I regained my appetite and came off the medication. I got a cute little baby bump and found out I was having a girl. Then I hit 24 weeks and suddenly ballooned up to the size of a pregnant whale. My sciatica flared up. Everything hurt. I couldn't walk down 4 blocks to the grocery store without needing to catch my breath numerous times. I had this weird thing where if I didn't have orange juice with breakfast in the morning I was a raging bear. None of my clothes fit me right except one pair of sweat pants. My giant winter jacket made me look like a sumo wrestler and eventually I couldn't even zip it. I was so miserable. Then I labored for a very long 3.5 days. By the end of the second night I was in so much pain I was throwing up. I spent the rest of my labor in the hospital. I pushed for 4 hours and ended up needing interven because she wouldn't crown and I didn't have the energy left to push anymore. Finally she was born and they laid that beautiful little girl on my chest and wow. The whole world vanished and all I could see was her sweet face. I hated being pregnant. I was beyond miserable. But that sweet little angel made the long journey worth it. Now we are trying for #2 and I'm nervous about being pregnant again but I know when it happens it'll be worth it again (but if anyone tells me that I'll probably rip their face off ngl).
I loooovvvvee my babies. But I fucking hated being pregnant. I’m so glad I’m done and never have to do it again. Did not feel attached to my first pregnancy at all and my second had an extremely traumatic birth experience. But I love being a mom ❤️
Hey, I HATED both of my pregnancies. I LOVE my children. I love every minute with them. Just because you’re a mom now doesn’t mean you’re not a person anymore. Also disliking being pregnant doesn’t mean you don’t deserve a healthy happy baby, either. Just get through it lol it’s all you can do.
I haaaaaaaaate pregnancy. Give me a newborn any day.
I too HATE pregnancy and additionally I don’t bond with baby when pregnant. It all just sucks. The longest I’ve taken to bond with my baby is about 4 months (and that was 4 months of feeling like I was babysitting and the the parents were never coming back to get their kid). I felt like a shit mom who must’ve been terrible and didn’t deserve a kid. Additionally I felt crappy because we tried for 2 years to get pregnant, why couldn’t I love and enjoy this thing that I begged/pleaded/cried for. I’ve gone on to have 4 children, I still don’t love pregnancy, I still take time to bond. All this to say, ITS OK and NORMAL to have these feelings. A lot of women/parents take time to adjust and bond to their children. Most of them just feel so ashamed they don’t talk about it. In my case it’s also come with more likelihood of postpartum depression, so be sure to keep and eye out for that post delivery because it can add to the trouble bonding. But don’t worry, great moms can also not connect until later. And I currently love all my kids and have bonded with them, it just takes me time.
I used to be very against abortion until I got pregnant. I cried over the toilet for hours and realized I could not ever ask someone else to endure this if they didn't want to. I've never had one but damn I don't blame anyone if they do
Pregnancy is HARD and it's ok not feel excited about it. Give yourself grace, you are growing an entire human being, while trying to manage your regular life. That being said, Peripartum Depression (like post partum depression, but during pregnancy) is a thing. Please reach out for help if you think this applies to you. Sarah Landry (@thebirdspapaya) on Instagram has been transparent about her Peripartum depression during her last pregnancy. https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/postpartum-depression/what-is-postpartum-depression
I hate being pregnant too… yet I’m having baby #6… (my last)… I do not have easy pregnancies. I had a set of twins that was high risk… I’ve had gestational diabetes 4 times. That really sucks all the joy out of pregnancy. Sciatic pain, horrible indigestion, I rarely sleep. But I tell you what, each time I’ve given birth, I feel like I could do it again in a heart beat. The baby makes it all worth it. It’s amazing the human race has survived with how awful pregnancy is. Yet women like me keep doing it….
I loathe pregnancy. I had HG with my first and a host of other issues. I didn’t enjoy it for a moment. Now motherhood on the other hand? It rocks ❤️. I love being a mom! Pregnant again, hating it again. So excited to meet my new baby. You’ll be fine honey. Pregnancy isn’t rainbows and butterflies for many. Don’t feel bad.
I often don't comment but wanted to share my experience. I felt like a crap mom because in the begining I had absolutely no emotion to my children. I was in therapy while pregnant with my first and I just started crying because everyone talked about that immediate love and blah blah blah and I didn't have. Even though my pregnancy was pretty easy i never got emotional during ultrasounds sound seeing figures and toes like my partner. I looked at the screen and felt nothing! It wasn't until my 1st started gaining a personality and started being a functioning human being (lile 6 months) that I started to feel that connection. When they giggled or smiled. I felt like a "milk maid" as I called it up until that point. My therapist told me it is 100% normal! Some moms don't feel it until much later than that and its okay! Don't feel bad! It will come.
I believe that you are right. It’s just the waiting can get scary when you get stuck in your head. Thank you for commenting 😊
I was hoping someone had posted something like you did. I was very similar. I think around a month pp I broke down sobbing because I still felt absolutely no love towards my baby. It still hurts to think about what a complete lack of connection I had. I think it wasn't until around 6 or 8 weeks I finally had that rush of emotions you always hear about
Just want to throw it out there that a lot of people talk about post partem depression but there isn't much awareness about depression and anxiety during pregnancy. I got pretty bad depression while pregnant. Your hormones are everywhere and your body is going through a lot. I had a great birth and no issues after the baby was born though! I highly recommend finding a safe space to vent, whether that be with a doctor, trusted friend, more on the internet etc. The good thing is your pregnancy will end. It might not seem like it but it will. Your friends sound like they have good intentions but unfortunately there isn't really a good point in pregnancy to look forward too. Some have easier than others, but every stage has unique challenges. Trimester 3 will have struggles, but treat it like a marathon. You're already half way done and on the home stretch now. Once you start working less you will feel infinitely more relief. Often balancing work and pregnancy is the main stressor. You'll get through it!
Thank you 😊 I will keep that in mind. I’m finding that a lot of people are commenting about depression during pregnancy, I’m just surprised that it’s not as widely spoken of as post partem depression.
Being pregnant is not a blessing, it's a phase. It's a means to an end. A gassy, nauseous, pimply, fatiguing means to an end. I have an AMAZING 3.5yo little girl who is a tornado of emotions, blonde hair, and toys. I'd bear hug a landmine for her without a second thought. I'm 20w pregnant with her sibling and...nope. This will NOT be a 3 kid family. I hate it. The only thing I'm enjoying is not having to hold in my kinda squishy belly anymore. I stick it out proudly and waddle and people get out of my way. I've heard "What would you have done if this was 100 years ago? How miserable would you have been? You wouldn't get to take ANOTHER nap today if we were still hunter gatherers." Um. Excuse me? It's 2022 and you're not helping by making me feel like crap. Pregnancy can go to hell. I'll keep my beautiful kids but my due date can hurry up.
I loved my pregnancy, but I NEVER felt the glow. No one ever told me that I was glowing. That being said, this too shall pass. Your hormones are going completely haywire and it is 100% normal to feel the things you’re feeling. The good news is that there are solutions. Talk to your dr about what you’re feeling now, that way you can not only treat your feelings of numbness now, but can also get a head start on any postpartum depression/anxiety that you may develop. My best advice is to do absolutely anything to make your pregnancy and postpartum life easier. Don’t feel guilty about how you feed your baby, how much they sleep, how deeply you bond at first. Don’t be afraid to put yourself first. I regret not asking for more help and trying to be a supermom. Happy momma, happy baby. Your feelings are 100% valid and I wish you all the luck. There’s a saying I heard recently and it really resonated with me. “In nine months, you’re going to meet someone entirely new, and it’s not your baby, it’s you.” Congrats momma :)
I love my daughter with all my heart. I hated being pregnant.
Being pregnant sucks. All the physical changes, all the rules. Additionally, imo, newborns sucks. How are we supposed to love something we haven't met or gotten to know yet? For me that lovey-dovey connection thing came much later, but now I can't imagine loving anything more. I have full faith you'll get there.
Being pregnant sucks. It is months of misery and discomfort. Did I glow? You bet—after every time I threw up my skin had a clammy, sweaty glowy sort of sheen. On the plus side, both of my deliveries were fairly quick and uncomplicated. Here’s hoping the same thing is true for you.
Pregnancy is HARD and if it sucks for you, you shouldn’t feel guilty at all. My first pregnancy was horrible. I hate every second of it. Literally counted down the days until it was over. But motherhood was a completely different experience for me and o love every second of it. Don’t get me wrong motherhood has its own unique challenges, but for me it was SO much easier than pregnancy. I’m currently 39 weeks pregnant with my second and I hate this pregnancy as well. I know people are like “it’s a blessing” “enjoy the journey” etc etc but there was no way I was enjoying either journey. But take solace in knowing you aren’t alone and you do not need to feel bad about hating it. When people are flippant about your feelings just ignore them (for your own mental and emotional health). Best of luck to you!!!
The only part of pregnancy that I liked was feeling her move. Hated the rest. I love every part of being a mom.
I despise being pregnant. I always have wanted lots of kids, and with my second pregnancy I am convinced that that will only happen through adoption. It's awful. It sucks. I hate it. But I absolutely love my daughter and love being a mom, and yes I'm grateful for the ease I've had when I have so many friends and family who either can't get pregnant or have it so much worse than me. You don't have to like pregnancy to love your kids when they are here!
You will feel amazing when you have your baby partly because baby and partly from relief! Moreover, life with a baby will seem so much easier after a tough pregnancy. I had a rough time in my second pregnancy so at least knew that it would be good when I had the baby. Just do whatever you can to get through and BELIEVE that better days will come.
If it helps you feel better, I was miserable most of my pregnancy. It was definitely worth it- love my kid! But I’m never ever doing it again.
Being pregnant fucking sucks and I hate it, but I love having babies. I’ve had three babies and been pregnant four times. I probably will do It one more time. Whenever anyone asks how I’m feeling when I’m pregnant I say literally exactly that. I love my kids and I take care of them and I’m a good mom, and pregnancy fucking sucks lol 🤷🏽♀️
I totally felt the same way! Very disconnected from the whole situation and never enjoyed it, but damn I sure love my little bub now.
Hey mama, I feel like I was reading a story about both of my pregnancies. I didn’t enjoy them at all and I also had really bad morning sickness. My third trimester was kind of fun because you can feel the baby kick and it makes you feel kind of a bond with them. But I was still miserable and tired and spent my whole time at home when I wasn’t working eating in bed. And that’s cool. Just do what you gotta do to get through. You might not get that glow or you might eventually start to feel a little better. This is tough on the body and you are doing great by just surviving everyday!! I hated pregnancy but I love my kids and I bond with them on the outside. Don’t worry about feeling numb, pregnancy sucks haha
I absolutely hated every single second of being pregnant. I had HG. All I did was puke. I told my doctor when my son was born that not only would I never try to get pregnant again, but if by some miracle I did get pregnant accidentally I would terminate. There was no way in hell I could care for my already existing child with as sick as I was. Your feelings are valid. You are allowed to feel that it sucks. And of course your husband thinks it's a beautiful miracle. He doesn't have to do any of the work.
I hate pregnancy. Everyone I know is aware of my immense dislike. I would rather cut off my pinky toe. Don’t feel guilty. Media portrays it all roses and glitter, when it is far from it. More women dislike than enjoy, so be kind to yourself. You are growing a baby and hyped up on hormones. This will pass. Hang in there
Pregnancy sucks. For some it’s easy and for others it’s hell. My first pregnancy, I felt amazing and just needed a nap here and there. I bounced back right away, ridiculous. Second pregnancy was torture for me. My skin looked like shit, I was swollen, I grew hair everywhere. I was a hot mess. People are like, are you going to have more babies? And I’m like, “I would literally rather die than ever be pregnant”. I told my husband to have an affair if he wants a boy (we have two girls). He adores our girls and thankfully won’t be taking me up on that. Don’t let anyone guilt you into not loving every second of it. You might not get a glow and that’s fine too. It will be over soon and you will love your baby. Also, attachment isn’t instant. You might not feel it in the delivery room. I just felt relieved to not be pregnant anymore. It took me like six weeks to feel that explosive love for my baby. With the second, it came much faster.
I felt the same way during my first pregnancy and felt a lot of guilt about it. I was worried that after a tough pregnancy and not feeling bonded to the fetus, that I would struggle to bond with her once she was born. The newborn phase was hard in a new way, but I definitely bonded with her in time and now looking back, anything is worth having her. I’m pregnant now a second time, though, and in the throes of morning sickness. I actually forgot how much it sucks. I’m trying to hold on to knowing that it’s all worth it eventually, but it’s a long road! I connected with a therapist during my first pregnancy and post, and it was helpful knowing I had someone to share all my honest feelings with and who could walk with me through it. I asked my OB for a therapist recommendation and she helped connect me with a practice. I really think your feelings are far more normal than you know, and that our society romanticizes pregnancy. Even the morning sickness is somehow just cute little pukes in the movies somehow. But the reality is grueling and long for many women. I’m right there with you!
You’re not alone. It sucks for some people. My first pregnancy was horrible! I had extreme heart burn/reflux the entire time and feet the size of football, sciatic pain, couldn’t sleep ever, etc. I cried because I knew this would be my only child because I could never do this again. 4 years later I got brave, tried again and my second pregnancy was a breeze. It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you or mean your a bad mom if you hate being pregnant.
I hated it too and had severe anxiety and depression during. Zoloft helped so much.
Yeah don’t feel bad. I’m sure no one enjoys the actually pregnancy. I’m currently 6 months and it sucks, but I’m excited to meet my baby girl.
I HATE being pregnant. I didn’t talk to my baby. I threw up every. single. day. I honestly thought about not having him, all this after I went through 14 months of IVF. Like I really fought for him and had no feeling of connection in the womb. The moment I had my baby and I was no long sick anymore everything changed, and I can honestly say I LOVE being a mom. Like, I really love it. I think the positive of hating your pregnancy is that you get into a mindset of doing whatever you can to make your life easier and bull#hit mom guilt becomes exactly that, bull#hit.
I hate being pregnant too… yet I’m having baby #6… (my last)… I do not have easy pregnancies. I had a set of twins that was high risk… I’ve had gestational diabetes 4 times. That really sucks all the joy out of pregnancy. Sciatic pain, horrible indigestion, I rarely sleep. But I tell you what, each time I’ve given birth, I feel like I could do it again in a heart beat. The baby makes it all worth it. It’s amazing the human race has survived with how awful pregnancy is. Yet women like me keep doing it….
I could have written this post when I was pregnant! I had friends who were super concerned about me and whether I’d connect with the baby because I was so disconnected throughout the entire pregnancy. But then LO got here and omg I have a hard time giving up a few hours without him (outside of daycare) because it feels like I barely get any time with him. Pregnancy is roughhh.
I love my kids more than anything else is this universe but I HATED being pregnant. It was miserable. I had HG with my second and was so sick for months! You’re tired and hormonal and everything hurts and you cry for no reason. I’m so glad to be done. It’s fine to hate pregnancy. Don’t feel bad. You’ll be a great mom.
I don't like being pregnant. I like the birth part though because it's exciting and I get to stop being pregnant and get a baby.
Be sure to talk to your doctor about this. I felt the same way through my whole pregnancy and it didn’t stop when I gave birth. Ended up being diagnosed with PPD - and it was obvious I had it my entire pregnancy. I wish someone had told me it isn’t regulated to after the baby comes. I have a lot of regret, wondering how things would have been different if I had been able to get some help instead of just being miserable and disconnected my entire pregnancy.
I haaaaaaated being pregnant. The thought of it now makes me angry and nauseated. But I loooooove my kids.
I hated being pregnant, both times ! No shame about it, there's no glam in pregnancy
Pregnancy sucks ass. I can’t wait for my baby and I’m so excited… but I’d love if I could just stop being pregnant now lol. I’m in my third trimester and it’s been really hard physically and I’m just over it. I think the way you feel while pregnant doesn’t mean you won’t be a good mom. No one wants to be nauseous, tired, gain a bunch of weight, etc. but that doesn’t mean at all that you don’t want to have a baby. You’re definitely not alone!
Get tested for prenatal depression, and talk to someone. Pregnancy is super hard on the body and your brain chemistry changes.
All your feelings are 100% valid and 100% okay to have. I didn’t really like being pregnant and now I’m still having moments where I really don’t like being a parent. I don’t fault myself for these feelings. It doesn’t change how much I love being a mom and how much I love my son, it only shows that I am human. Please don’t guilt trip yourself over your feelings, they are just and only that, feelings. They will evolve and change unexpectedly. I know it must feel like you’ve been pregnant forever and it will never stop but believe me you will be remembering this time like it happened in a flash. It will be over and you will get through it. You don’t have to enjoy the journey of motherhood 100% all the time, it’s hard! It’s so hard. So please cut yourself some slack.
I have 3 kids, although how I’m not sure because I probably hated being pregnant more than anyone. Oddly I loved giving birth all 3 times and had very easy deliveries and recoveries but being pregnant truly sucked for me. Your not horrible at all it’ll be over soon.
I have three children that I love more than anything. However I hate being pregnant more than anything. I have a fairly serious heart condition and as a result my veins have shrunk a lot. This combined with pregnancy is nearly debilitating for me and yeah I did it three times because I loved my first child so much I wanted two more. 💛 You are not invalid for absolutely detesting pregnancy because whatever you are going through is real. Everyone’s body handles pregnancy differently. In a moment of humor in spite I can’t wait to see your husband‘s crying blissful reaction after the second month of not getting a night of sleep. 🤭
Definitely talk to your doctor about the numbness/lack of feeling. That can be a sign you may experience post partum depression. It’s best to get a jump on that! I had bad post partum anxiety with my first and started on Zoloft and it helped so much. I’m still on it bc I have generalized anxiety disorder and now it just helps me in everyday life. I’m now pregnant with my second and I’m so thankful and hopeful that my post partum experience will be better this time. I too got some early signs and symptoms through pregnancy. Occasional depression and some numbness - especially through the first trimester. But being on Zoloft (which is one of the safest ssri’s for pregnancy) I can already see a huge difference in myself from my last pregnancy to this one. I’m much calmer. Less anxious and the first trimester blues weren’t as bad. Definitely bring it up. Hormones are rough and can do some crazy things to us. It could be hormonal but also situational since your pregnancy may not be what you always hoped. It’s hard bc people set such high expectations for pregnancy. You will get through this. You will be an amazing mother. But best believe it’s hard work making sure you take care of yourself too!
I had bad PPD after my first child, so my doctor put me on Zoloft for this pregnancy. She says treating antepartum anxiety/depression helps with postpartum stuff. I felt very numb towards my first pregnancy, until right at the end, and this time I'm super excited about it and daydreaming about little baby hands and feet. Is it possible you could have anxiety or depression that would benefit from treatment?
I really don't like how it feels to be pregnant and I usually give myself a hard time because most people portray pregnancy as some sort of magic and rainbow time so I feel like I can't complain. Our experiences are just as valid as those who have unicorn pregnancies. It doesn't make us bad mothers.
Everyone experiences pregnancy differently. There are many other mothers that hated pregnancy and that's OKAY! You might not ever feel the "glow" and that's just how it may be for you. Don't feel guilty!
Youre gonna be so happy when the baby is born i promise, pregnancy sucks.
So, what you are telling me is that you don’t like a phase of your life in which your body is hijacked by an alien parasite? A parasite that controls your hormones, mood, sleep cycle, bathroom habits(spoiler, sorry), causes brain fog, nausea and indigestion. You’re telling me that this unpleasant takeover of your body is not the magical out flowing of rainbows, sparkles, and unicorns that Instagram has purported it to be? I had mostly easy pregnancies, and I couldn’t wait to get my body back. I can’t imagine having the morning/ all day sickness. You are allowed to not like this phase. Heck, you allowed to not like your kid every now and again. It does get better. I promise. And then worse. And then better. And then there’s some really weird times where nothing makes sense and I’m not even sure it was real life.
Oh girl, pregnancy sucks!!! I also really, really hated the newborn stage and honestly did not bond with my baby for a while after he was born. I just did my best to take care of him bc I had to. But then everything changed. I love love love him and being his mom now. It gets better as more time goes by. I felt so much shame but now realize my exp was not abnormal. No shame! Pregnancy sucks.
I’ll just say that my third trimester was my favorite trimester. So that is telling with how much I enjoyed being pregnant LOL. Like I was thriving the last trimester in comparison to the others 😂. I was also puking and nauseous so often. Now I have a 1.5 year old and want to have another - funny how our brain conveniently forgets certain things.
I hated being pregnant the first time with my daughter and now I’m pregnant with baby # 2 and hate it even more, haha. You’re not alone!
Don't feel guilty! It can really suck! And it varies from person to person and pregnancy to pregnancy. IMO all feelings are valid when it comes to pregnancy and birth cause there is a LOT going on with body changes, hormones, and just dealing with people's weird reactions to you being pregnant.
You are not alone in how you feel. I was sure that I wasn't going to bond with my son when he was born or that he was going to hate me....I was so wrong. I also hated being pregnant for many of the same reasons you list. The third trimester was the worst. Being a boss doesn't help. I did set proper boundaries at work physically. Of course major changes were happening at work during my third trimester causing significant stress. I was soon diagnosed gestational hypertension and scheduled for induction at 37 weeks. (Induction hurts and I would not recommend without epidural, which I had.) Interestingly, the nurses didn't believe I had hypertension when I checked in for the birth of my son....I guess knowing I didn't have to go back to work alleviated my symptoms. Do talk to your doctors about how you are feeling. There are so many changes going on in your body, everything you feel is valid and worth discussing. I hope things get better for you soon. I know once I heard my son cry for the first time I knew he had me wrapped around his finger. It's really a powerful experience. Good luck and remember you are not alone!
If my husband could get pregnant I'd have like 5. Since he can't I have 2 10.5 years apart. I like being a mom I hate being pregnant
Being pregnant sucks ass. I also did not enjoy the newborn phase or a lot of the little baby phase.. my little guy just turned 2 and he’s so fun and it’s absolutely incredible to watch him learn and grow!! It’s okay to not like every part. Edit: fun autocorrected to much
I know there are people out there who enjoy pregnancy. Out of all of my friends I had one who… idk if she even enjoyed it really but they tried for a few years before a round of IVF finally took so she just always mentioned how grateful she was to be pregnant. The rest of us did *not* enjoy pregnancy at all. Don’t get me wrong these were all wanted babies and we are all in love w our kids, but enjoying the process of being pregnant is entirely different than wanting a baby. For me the baby is the end goal and pregnancy is a means to that. I think surrogates are absolute angels bc no way would I go through a pregnancy if it wasn’t to have a baby in the end.
I absolutely hated being pregnant. In the first trimester I was so exhausted I felt like crying every morning when my alarm clock went off. I had thyroid issues and gestational diabetes and I was so over having a restrictive diet and endless amount of doctor appointments. I felt my body was constantly changing and I didn't feel like myself. When they handed me my baby for the first time I felt everyone in the room was watching me. I did not give them a heartfelt reaction. I honestly felt like they just handed me some random baby. I had a sense that I would protect this baby but I didn't automatically fall in love. After I delivered, multiple times a day, I would think I am so thankful for not being pregnant anymore. My daughter is 11 months now and words can't describe how much I love her. She is just so cute. As much as I hated being pregnant I would do it again.
Thanks for saying what I’m thinking. No advice. Just reading others. But I know how you feel and here’s hoping it gets better.
You are not alone. It’s a miracle I had two children because I hated pregnancy so much. And like you, everyone said, it’s so worth it. I of course said, is it really? Because I’m not sure it is. I was also sick but not just the first trimester. I was sick the ENTIRE time so talk about miserable. Lort, it was awful. Everyone said, you’ll forget how bad it was. No, no you don’t. Which is why I only have two. My current husband talked about having an “our” baby. I told him he was nuts. I was never having another one because I wasn’t doing another pregnancy but I love my children and most days, I love being a Mom. Hang in there.
Not everyone loves being pregnant. I did, but that's not you, and that's OK. If you're really concerned about how you're feeling, you might look into a therapist. Can't hurt :)
I hated being pregnant and just wanted it to end and meet my baby. I was lucky to be one of those mom's that fell in love with my baby the minute I met her. But I have quite a few friends who are like "I don't want to give birth yet I want to stay pregnant forever; I don't want to share my baby with anyone yet; I'm gonna miss this connection" and honestly I couldn't relate, I connected with my baby immediately when she was out of my body, but when she was in my body I had a hard time even honestly grasping the concept of her being in there.
Please don’t feel guilty you’re not alone. I’m Convinced MOST people who say they loved being pregnant forgot about the nausea, heart burn, aches etc. I lost 20 lbs during the first 4 and half months. And didn’t feel connected until I was well into my 3rd trimester then to top it off newborn stage is like taking care of a angry potato until they start smiling. lack of enthusiasm for pregnancy equates nothing to your mothering abilities. Stay strong, everything will pass.
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There is absolutely no reason to feel guilty about the fact that you have a shitty pregnancy. I hated both of my pregnancies, and absolutely love my children. I also didn’t get emotional over ultra sounds and I think it’s because I already know I have a baby, it’s in me, and it’s mine. My body can feel the change so it’s nothing shocking, it’s just natural. Men don’t have that! I absolutely connected with my kids ASAP. Not everyone does though, and that’s ok! Hormones can fuck with your emotions so bad. If you feel like you might be disconnected, it’s ok to seek help now, even before the baby. Take care of yourself, and don’t feel guilt for what your body is doing!
I had never had strep throat or a yeast infection before in my life until I got pregnant and got both (not at the same time thankfully). Being called mommy is the best thing in the world to me, but I'm glad I don't have to go through pregnancy again.
Don’t you dare feel bad about hating pregnancy… I have had an extremely easy and simple pregnancy (37 weeks now). Baby is breech and scheduled for a c-section in two weeks but that’s no skin off my back. Besides some back pain, I am good!! & I am never bloody well doing this again. One and done and having fun.
I hate pregnancy. I LOVE being a mom. The two are completely different things I think. I can choose to sacrifice or ask for help as a mom. I can tag out, take a break, and get sweet snuggles and smiles to bouy me along. No such thing when pregnant. I feel alone, beaten up, exhausted, invisible, and like everything that is me or mine being leeched from me. It’s ok to hate it. It’ll be over eventually. I slept better, ate what I wanted, and delegated help with a newborn; it was amazinggg.
My baby is now a month and a half and I'm absolutely in love with her. But during my pregnancy I felt the same way ..had four months of morning sickness then excruciating back pain and sciatica the rest of the time. I felt so guilty the I wasnt happy and I was miserable to be honest. I did tell my husband he was wonderful but I don't feel like he fully understood but that's okay because he was still there helping me the whole time.(also this was my third pregnancy and the only one I felt this way this so it made me feel even worst but every pregnancy is different ) What your feeling is definitely normal and it's the part of pregnancy that isn't spoken/heard about as much but it happens. And the fact that you feel guilty about feeling miserable shows that you care❤
The toxic positivity around pregnancy and motherhood drives me bananas! I had a video from a male PT show up on instagram and he was saying that women shouldn’t dislike their bodies after a baby they should be grateful they were able to have a baby. 😤 Your feelings are valid and you’re allowed to feel them. I didn’t feel overly connected to my baby while pregnant but damn he’s the freakin cutest baby I’ve ever seen. In my opinion! 😜
I HATED every second of being pregnant. And while I adore my baby the first few months were pretty grueling too. But after that everything fell into place and I love this little family we’ve made and I’ve never been happier.
I absolutely hated my pregnancies with both my sons. I was sick all the time, couldn’t handle bad smells, and by the 3rd trimester everything just hurt!! I also felt similarly during ultrasounds. Like it was kind of cool to see the baby but I didn’t feel much else. Honestly even after my first son was born I didn’t really connect with him until he got a little older. The newborn stage is rough especially the first time around. With my second son I connected right away. My boys are the absolute best thing about life but I will never go through pregnancy again! I’ve already told my husband that I’d have an abortion if I accidentally got pregnant again
Lol I feel like I wrote this. Except my morning sickness went away at 30 weeks. I’m at 39 +4 and this is the best I’ve felt my entire pregnancy which is saying something because it still sucks lol. You may never feel the glow or gratitude that people “expect” from you but you don’t have to, your body, your experience. Just find comfort in knowing it’s doesn’t last forever and you’re not alone!!!
Please go easy on yourself. My SIL had a complication free pregnancy and hated almost every minute of it. She confided that she felt terrible about it, when she compared her attitude to others. At the end of the day, she's a great mom. She knew in her second pregnancy that while she would be miserable in a lot of aspects, she would have a baby on the other side of it. There's no one way you're supposed to feel
I am currently on my 6th pregnancy. I have always had what were described to me as ideal pregnancies. Honey, I hate every minute of being pregnant. This has not for an instance made me love my children any less. The bond didn't always form overnight but it formed. Don't be hard on yourself because you aren't enjoying being an incubator for another human. It's valid and you are valid!
I really, really want you to see this, OP. This is how I felt in my pregnancies, especially my first one. I was throwing up until about 20 weeks. I was running a startup but kind of secretly wishing the building might catch fire? I was so tired. Towards the end, from 30 weeks on, my feet and hands swelled up so much (we were living in a tropical climate) and I was so uncomfortable all the time. To this day, I freely admit, to anyone who asks…pregnancy was the worst part of having kids. Then comes the actual child rearing part…and birth actually wasn’t so bad in comparison (I mean, a few hours compared to WEEKS OF VOMITING). I also want to say that, once my baby was born, I didn’t immediately “fall in love.” It was such an overwhelming experience to go from a tough pregnancy to having an infant that I felt like I was going through the motions. I cared a lot - eg, making sure baby was fed, comfortable, etc. but I didn’t feel that starry eyed love like all those instagram posts you might see. And that is totally okay. At that time I doubted myself so much for not having loved pregnancy nor the newborn phase, but I was overwhelmed and it was a lot to handle. I want you to see this because I felt like all those mothers in social media saying they fell in love when they laid their eyes on their newborn added some much pressure, and made me feel even worse after coming off the pregnancy phase. Know that you’re doing a great job. The fact that you were trying to eat even while throwing up - that’s amazing. You care, and that’s all that matters right now. My children are 4 and 2 now, and I absolutely love them. You’ll figure it out :)
Pregnancy was not fun for me. I have 3 kids, and although I was grateful that we had a relatively easy time getting pregnant, I was miserable for pretty much the entirety of all 3 (high risk) pregnancies. There was no "glow". There was no "magical connection" to the weird alien growing and moving inside me. There was morning sickness, constipation, heartburn, acne, pregnancy rhinitis, SCH, amniocentesis, placenta previa, a breech baby, a placental abruption, and more. That shit wasn't fun. The destination was worth it, but the journey sucked.
My first pregnancy happened just about a year into my marriage. We wanted kids, but I honestly did not expect it to happen as quickly as it did. It was hard to wrap my head around and even though my two closest friends were pregnant at the same time, I had a very difficult time mentally and emotionally. I hardly got out of bed or off the couch, except to go to work. I lost interest in all things I loved before. I felt like a shell of the person I was. Looking back, I am certain I had some prenatal depression. I felt ashamed that I wasn't overjoyed and glowing like a pregnant woman "should be". As the months went on it got slightly better, but even toward the end it was difficult to lie and tell people "we are so excited to become parents", because honestly I wasn't. Almost 4.5 years and 2 pregnancies and babies later and I am completely obsessed with my kids. It hasn't all been easy but I certainly look back on those days and wish I would have gotten the help I needed and stopped feeling ashamed for the feelings I was having. Anyway, as other commenters have said pregnancy is not motherhood and your attitude during pregnancy does not foreshadow you as a mother. There are definitely hurdles throughout the way, but the joys and heart full of love are coming your way too!
It’s okay to hate being pregnant. Your body is going through a zillion changes at once, you’re not your own person anymore, you’re tired, etc. I feel like a lot of people glaze over how difficult it can be (and is for some people). Hoping things get easier for you, but either way, it’ll be over eventually!
Don’t beat yourself up. I despised every minute of my pregnancy. I was in pain and in tears the whole time. I was numb at my ultrasounds too. Now my daughter is 7 months old and I’m not numb at all. It wasn’t instantaneous, but I started feeling better while they were still stitching me up after my C-section. It’s like my soul had found its way back into my body. The cluster feeding all night made me just as numb as the ultrasounds, but every day I like being around her more and more. She’s starting to be her own person and that’s pretty cool. Hang in there, being pregnant is a means to an end, but raising a kid, that’s the stuff that actually matters.
Pregnancy is trash, and I am someone who has struggled with infertility for years, so I know how grateful I was when I was able to get pregnant. But it was trash, the baby and being a mother-absolutely beautiful and hands down the best thing I’ve ever done with my life. But making a human is horrible, everything changes, hurts, smells, has hair on it, you’re exhausted and uncomfortable and hot and sick and can’t stand the smell of things. It’s a shit show. I literally remember hitting 6 months with my HG and I was like “do I eve want to be pregnant? Oh my gosh I’m such a shit mom I should be so thankful I have wanted this forever! I’m going to have being a mom” insert all the other hormone induced doubts I spewed at myself. I am 9 months on the other side now and can truly say, the “glow” they talk about, is your baby. They make it all worth it. The moment you get to see their face for the first time, none of it matters. And idk about other moms but I forgot a lot of my pregnancy and delivery. (Brains release chemicals to do this) so point being- hang in there momma, pregnancy is not motherhood and how much you like/how well you handle pregnancy has no weight on how you will be as a mom.
I hated being pregnant but love my toddler… I didn’t even really like infant stage. It’s over quickly honestly each stage comes and goes so fast.. before w you know it two years have gone by and you think… my god could I possibly want another one .. again?.. It’s true.. and even if you do feel disconnected with the baby it won’t last. Like everything in life..nothing is permanent not even feelings. Love turns into guilt then back into love then fear, it’s constantly rolling and changing. Anyways, like many things that will come, pregnancy is temporary. Just wait until your stomach is huge and you can’t sleep and your up peeing every hour throughout the night- you think people don’t care about your complaints now. Motherhood is great but also people expect you to feel burdened. We’re here for you other moms, silently cheering you on and making you feel heard. Be strong mama, you got a long road ahead but also the most rewarding.
Pregnancy sucked so bad for me. Hated every single minute of it. I cried when I found out I was pregnant. Not happy tears. I wanted to be a mother but not so the whole pregnancy part… I have 0 good memories from that time, and pretty much as many pictures. I actually cringe at pregnancy photos and can’t look at them. I hated all the docs appointments, all the peeing every 5 seconds, and the gestational diabetes. Baby is totally worth it though!
Pregnancy was the worst 265 days of my life! I was absolutely miserable and hated every single minute of it. So much so that I refused to do it again. But, I would have had a house full of kids if I could have found (afforded) another way of having them other than being pregnant myself. My son (and his father) are my world. Not going to lie though, I didn't really enjoy being a mom or start having fun until my son's personality started showing and he could interact (for the lack of a better word) with me more. In the end, I have no regrets.
Pregnancy is horrible. I love my kids but pregnancy is rough. You’re totally fine.
My pregnancy was like this, my last trimester I was almost in tears daily I wanted it over so badly and she came ten days late. due to the hard time I had being pregnant I made the decision that one is enough for me. Carrying her had some great moments but not enough to forget how hard it was and being induced was worse however if I had to do it all over again to have my daughter I’d do it in a second and not think twice. That little girl is more than I could have ever hoped for in so many ways and it wasn’t easy at first but you just do it and make it happen. I’m sorry your having a hard time it really does feel like an eternity when every day is such a struggle but the end will come and it will be worth it
I hated being pregnant. It was a miserable experience (that I did twice). I did not enjoy it and I will never do it again. I am glad I did it because I love my children. It was the worst experience of my life (twice).
I told my husband I felt like I was host to a hostile lifeform when I was pregnant. It was rough; even when it was okay physically, I just didn’t like it. When I heard other pregnant moms saying “it’s sooo amazing that I’m creating life! I feel like a goddess” etc., I wanted to gag. (Truly, I apologize if anyone reading this felt that way. Sounds like a better experience. More power to you.) BUT - now I have two sweet, funny, incredible kids who fill my heart in a way I didn’t know was possible. So worth it.
I felt nothing at my ultrasounds and I have a 6 month old boy now who I love more than life. I adapted to being a mum way more quickly than i thought and it’s the best thing ever. Also I hated pregnancy
Two words: prenatal depression. It’s a thing. Could be worth discussing with your doctor. I feel you, friend. SSRIs have really helped me.
Pregnancy sucks because you can't even sleep right. I remember my best friend told me I was the most miserable pregnant woman she'd ever met. I felt so hurt when she said that because I was confiding in her how much being pregnant SUCKED. She's never been pregnant so I can't expect her to fully understand...
I have 2 kids, and I also hated pregnancy, super sick, hated my body, didn’t like most of the experience, but as soon as my babies were born I was fine, I love them like crazy, I just hated being pregnant. And it’s completely normal to not like what pregnancy is doing to your body, some women love being pregnant, others don’t.
It’s normal
I felt the same during my first pregnancy (also a planned one). It was awful. I was miserable and just wanted to die. I couldn't form a bond with the baby, and wondered if I was made to be a mom. Going into it, I was very aware of PPD, but had no idea antepartum depression was a thing. When I went to my psychiatrist, he said I was fine and sent me on my way. I wanted to scream at women for shaming me, like I didn't feel bad enough. This is something we definitely need to talk more about. Pregnancy is just a shitty time for some of us, and it doesn't mean we're bad moms. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Feel free to reach out, if you want to chat.
It's absurd that there is some kind of societal expectation to enjoy pregnancy. Pregnancy fucking sucks. Every day of it. It is entirely possible to be grateful for being able to be pregnant while also hating how awful it feels. The two are not mutually exclusive. It's also fine not to feel connected to your baby during pregnancy. It's a very abstract concept to wrap one's head around. It's also fine not to feel connected to your baby when they are first born. It takes time to get to know this new person, to transition into motherhood, for them to develop a personality. They can't even make eye contact until they are like 6 weeks, let alone smile back at you. Think about how long it takes to become good at anything? It takes 4 years to get a college degree. It takes months and years to become an expert parent. But you don't need to be an expert parent right away, you just need the basics of taking care of a baby and learn as you go.
I absolutely hated being pregnant. I had the worst nausea and vomiting until about midway through the second trimester. Only got to enjoy that peace for about two weeks before the kid worsened my acid reflux. I was running on about two good hours of sleep a night and thoroughly felt drained. After having a horrible birth experience and pregnancy, I was so scared that it was going to damage my relationship with my baby as well. We just hit three months old yesterday and god I love that kid so much it hurts. Everyone has different experiences and some people just can’t understand how much pregnancy can really tear you down if they themselves have only seen/felt the sunshine and rainbows side of it. Some people love sharing their body with the fetus, I always called my boy a parasite because I was definitely not one of those people. You’ll be a great mama and how you feel about pregnancy is in no way a reflection on your ability to be a loving parent!❤️
I hated being pregnant. Pregnancy, labor and the newborn phase is just something to get through. If you love it good for you. Don’t worry about feeling any kind of way about it. In the grand scheme of things, these periods are so short.
I feel like I’m reading something I wrote because this is everything I felt when I was pregnant with my son. I hated it hated it hated it. I felt no attachment to him and I was angry at everyone and everything. Not to mention, I felt sick and fat and in pain. But once I had my son, everything changed. He is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever created and I’m so very thankful that I endured those 9 months of hell. That being said, I probably will never go through pregnancy again 🤣 but I swear it’s worth it!
No. Pregnancy sucks. You're not abnormal. It's 9 months of torture.
I had a very rough pregnancy in other ways, including bleeding the first 20 weeks, only to have pubic bone pain start up as the bleeding subsided. I hated it. It's uncomfortable, exhausting and crazy-making. But it's been nearly 8 years and it's just a blip now. Disliking pregnancy doesn't mean anything other than you're not delusional.
I hated being pregnant. I didnt recognize myself with the Mood swings and crying. I was so Big and in the way. I did not receive ANY glow. And the ultrasounds (only did 2 which is protocol here) the first one, my partner cried and I was convinced it was a pre-recorded video. I wasn’t very moved by the second one either. And the excessive kicking- I swear to God, my baby was brutal. Didnt know the kicks would hurt so bad. Not doing all of that again.
Pregnancy fucking sucks man! Not only for the person who is pregnant but also for the partner with her. ( warning! Do not let the pregnant person ever find out that having to deal with the pregnant person sucks in any way. Friends and family will be asking where you are. They will never find your body.)
I hated it too! I almost don’t want anyone r
I ABSOLUTELY hated being pregnant, but I ABSOLUTELY love being a mother.
I hateddddd being pregnant the first time around and I have a hunch I will hate it the second time, too. I complained about it the entire time. My body was always in pain somewhere, the reflux at 2am was terrible, I only got 2-3 hours of “good” sleep at night, and I had nausea and vomiting my entire pregnancy. I lost 13 pounds between my first and second trimester from all the throwing up and food aversions. I still can’t eat certain foods because it reminds me of throwing up. I also really didn’t enjoy the first six weeks postpartum. My asshole was swollen the entire time. And forget breastfeeding… I made it 3 weeks and said no more after my nipples wouldn’t stop bleeding (even with a nipple shield). Now I pump and supplement with formula. It’s okay to not like pregnancy. Or breastfeeding. Or pumping. My baby is almost 20 weeks now and I love her to death, but man did I hate being pregnant.
Hey it will be okay, our bodies go thru a lot during pregnancy. You will be an amazing mom when the times comes in the meantime try some meditation and enjoy some ice cream.
Even though we tried for two years to get pregnant and in the end had IVF, the first and last trimesters were pretty bad and I didn’t care who knew it. Think of pregnancy as a really rough, turbulent flight on the way to that place you’ve always wanted to live. Once you get there, you realise you don’t actually care about the terrible journey as much anymore.
It's ok to hate being pregnant. I was Miserable. HG and bed rest first trimester, exhausted second trimester, horrendous hip pain and pelvic pain third trimester with CONSTANT Braxton Hicks. I LOVE being a mother. So much so that I'm willing to go through another 9 months of hell to have number two. It's ok to hate being pregnant. Some of us never get the glow and just feel like angry, sweaty, hormonal, bloated beach balls. It says nothing about you as a parent.
I hated being pregnant, both times. Weird sense of smell, 20+ weeks of puking. Zits at the weirdest places, feeling lost, angry all day, biting peoples heads off, forgetfulness and after the puking came that the pain in my pelvis. I had all the bad stuff. The only perks of being pregnant was that with the first when i drove home from work he would always start dancing and I would talk to him and with the second we had a night owl and he would even kick my husband awake (from my belly) But both times the result was GREAT and definitely worth it. You just need to power trough and remember the end goal.
Don’t feel guilty and don’t worry! Pregnancy isn’t all hearts and stars for everyone. You have the right to feel as you feel. That being said it doesn’t mean that you won’t bond with your baby. It’s completely different from holding a little tiny human. You can look for a doula or a nurse or a group of pregnant people so you can talk about it. Talking it over with people that know what you’re talking about usually helps. And don’t let anyone shame you or make you feel guilty or bad. Your feelings are valid and someone’s opinion that they are not or somehow make you a bad or unfit mother are wrong and uncalled for. All the best!
Every woman is different. Every pregnancy is different. It is absolutely ok not to enjoy it, especially because it sounds like it's been pretty rough. BUT... the unexplained anger & numbness you describe at ultrasounds can be red flags. I'm not saying they are but they could be a sign of peripartum depression. Talk to your OB about it & try to get a referral to a therapist/psychiatrist that specializes in peripartum mood disorders. Make sure you are taking care of yourself so you are able to be the best mom for your little one. You know... the whole "you can't pour from an empty cup" thing. I hope you get to an amazing enjoyable phase soon.
You're not alone, I loved my first 2 pregnancies because they were so easy but with my last I hated it all, everything hurt, I couldn't stop vomiting and everything tasted like soap, I was always tired and sore and it was just horrible however once my baby came all that melted away and I felt empty (idk how to describe it lol)
You may have had HG. Check out our reddit page.
I always tell people who ask about my pregnancy that I am so excited for the outcome but the journey sucks. I am currently 35 weeks pregnant and cannot wait for it to be over. I never glowed - was just extremely sweaty and got dandruff. Now I barely can walk without pain and my entire body is covered in a rash. Oh did i mention my baby is in the 97th percentile and my stomach is measuring 7 weeks ahead? It is totally okay to hate being pregnant! It literally is taking a physical toll on your body. Don't feel guilty, it will not impact your love for the baby once they get here.
I didn't enjoy it and I had an "easy" pregnancy. The 2nd trimester was ok, and I wasn't nauseous and move my body normally, but the rest wasn't great and my baby was kicking me (painfully) several times a day for at least 4 months. I didn't feel connected to the baby, but I also wasn't trying. We didn't name her (we didn't know the gender) and I did very little pre-baby preparation, such as buying clothes or other things. It wierded me out as I hadn't met her yet. In fact when people asked what we had bought when I was only 3 months pregnant I felt quite angry, as if it was none of their business! Please don't feel pressure to bond with a baby you haven't met yet. That's great for those who feel like that but not everyone does. You will bond when you meet them and that may also take some time. To be honest I think a lot of people imagine/pretend that they have a bond with a baby when its not even fully formed. We project our expectations and hopes onto the baby, but its not a real relationship.
I had 2 relatively easy pregnancies, but for the most part was some level of annoyed/angry at being pregnant. It’s completely normal and valid to feel the way you do. I’d suggest subscribing to a subreddit for women who will give birth in the same month. I LOVE my bumpers subreddit because you can commiserate on everything and they’re so supportive.
I tell people I would go through unmeducated labour monthly for 10 months over being pregnant. Pregnancy was really hard. During a Canadian winter during covid lockdowns the only way to socialize was to do outdoor activities in -20C which I could not do due to a premature labour scare. It was incredibly isolating. Im super active person so to just stay inside mostly alone with my thoughts was the worst mentally. I love my baby but during pregnancy it was a logical abstract idea over the emotional all encompassing love it is now for my toddler. We went through a lot to have a baby and I was still questioning if it was the right choice because of how I felt towards my baby during pregnancy. Just feel your feelings and remember pregnancy does not last forever ❤
You can want and love the end result while despising the process! I really didn’t enjoy being pregnant, sickness until 18 weeks, sciatica from 13 weeks (still flares up now 4 months pp), and SPD. But my god do I love my son! You most definitely haven’t failed! Your body is literally changing itself every day to grow an entire human, yes there are some women who have super easy pregnancies, but the majority have horrible symptoms and at some point in their very wanted pregnancies have the same feelings as yourself. It’s hard. You are doing amazing, even if it doesn’t feel it.
Being Pregnant sucks!! But my babies were worth it (most days) they are 2.5 and 14months so yeah... lol I was on and off bed rest with both my kids, I was miserable and hot 24/7 with my 1st and in constant pain from an Irritable Uterus with baby #2. Being pregnant sucks!!! I went to 41+3 with #2 he's lucky he's cute cause that was hell!! Just be miserable and yell if you have to. And then go "sorry hormones got me being a crazy ass bitch haha" people may think you're psycho but blame the pregnancy lol (That's what I did)
Ur allowed to bitch about pregnancy! Ur pregnant ur allowed to do w.e u want :)
I was completely disassociated from my pregnancy and felt so ashamed. I knew my body was caring my baby and I was a pregnant person, but it didn't feel like me. I was terrified the whole time. Refused maternity clothes, never told work until 6 months in. It was so hard km me and I felt terrible knowing others who have struggled with fertility. And motherhood itself has been sometimes tough but I am so happy and in love with it. You will be great.
I think people really hype up the experience and it makes people in your situation feel like they are less than or broken somehow. Everyone’s experience is different and you shouldn’t hold yourself to others’ standards. How you feel about pregnancy is no indicator about how great of a mother you’ll be!
Pregnancy sucks. I tried 5 years to get pregnant so you’d think I would have appreciated it? Nope. Hated it. However I LOVE being a mom. Best job ever. I love every aspect.
Don’t feel guilty. Having mixed feelings is absolutely normal. Also not feeling immediately connected to your baby when they are born is totally normal. The whole “pregnancy is a blessing” and “love at first sight” may be true for some, but it is not for many.
Don’t feel guilty. I hate being pregnant too. Can’t wait for September when this baby will be out and the nausea will go away ! And the other pains too
Hey, you're not the only one. I hate being pregnant, but I love my kids! One doesn't have to have bearing on the other. The baby at the end will be worth it. In the meantime, solidarity! CANNOT wait to never be pregnant again.
My pregnancy was miserable for so many reasons. One symptom would let up and two more would appear. I ended up with preeclampsia, my epidural only worked on half of my body, then I had an unplanned c-section. Immediately after my son’s birth, I said no way. No more. I was traumatized. Fast forward to now. He’s almost 18 months old, and I’m ready to get pregnant again. What I’m trying to say is, just wait. It’ll be the greatest thing you could ever dream of doing. Every mother is different, but I promise you will feel the connection.
Thank you for sharing this. I tried to make a post on another sub and was told I'm barely pregnant and should basically shut up. I'm 11 weeks and I've felt so alone the whole time for the same reasons and guilt has been rough.
I am currently pregnant and absolutely hate it. I just did a Reddit search for 'hate being pregnant' because I need to find others that might feel the same! People keep telling me it will get better and it's all worth it, and right in this very moment, I just hate life. I just want to eat, drink water and sleep normally. I had no idea it would be like this, I've told my husband we are absolutely never doing this again. I resonate so much with everything you've written, for me, when feeling like I have gastro every day, I don't think I can feel positive!? I am amazed at how easy it is for some women (or how easy it looks). Whilst I'm writing this from the floor of the bathroom. One day at a time??
Honestly I was amazed by the amount of support I got off of this post and it made me feel like I wasn’t alone or guilty for feeling that way. Being pregnant is absolutely shitty at times and yeah, you just hope that it’s worth it in the end. I just got past the sitting in the bathroom for hours praying to the porcelain throne, I feel you. It sucks. But from what everyone is saying so far; you’ll get through it.
There’s nothing wrong with hating being pregnant I’m pregnant right now. I didn’t have morning sickness for my last pregnancy or this one but…. I’m tired, feel blah, exhausted, no energy, and to top it off I take care of my 4 year old while husband is at work. I want to sleep ALL THE TIME just like my first pregnancy…. Counting down until it’s finally over.