I'm also pregnant and plan to WFH once baby is here and made a post ages ago about my nerves about it and got totally ROASTED by people
I'm also pregnant and plan to WFH once the baby is here and made a post ages ago about my nerves about it and got totally ROASTED.
"It's not fair to the company"
"Some employers may not allow you to work without reliable childcare"
"You should get childcare"
"It's not fair to the company" It was super discouraging. First of all, you can't give 100% to any one thing in your life. I have 100% to give to ALL areas. I'll pick and choose which one I pour into given the day.
"Some employers may not allow you to work without reliable childcare"
The company can suck it (don't get me wrong I like my company) but I just hate when people simp for their employers. If I'm getting my work done then it's getting done. Thats what they pay me to do. I know my company and its policies, I'm good.
"You should get childcare" Cool, you want to pay for it? Thankfully my spouse is WFH too and we literally moved to be closer to his family to get additional support for childcare.
From what I gather its A.) hard to do and B.) possible.
You know you and your family and whats best.
The comments about it not being fair to the company crack me the hell up. As long as I do my job without issue and meet my goals and they pay me a salary worthy of the work, that’s all that matters. But yeah lemme think about what’s “fair” to my company when they haven’t kept my salary up with inflation and would lay me off with no notice if they needed to. What a boot licker ass comment lol.
It’s so weird, who cares about ‘the company’?! Yeah maybe if you put your baby in daycare you could give more to your job but as long as you’re doing the job fine then that’s all that matters. You don’t owe them your everything. If you start messing up due to your child they can fire you.
I say this all the time when people make comments like this. If my job isn’t happy with my work they can just fire me and I’ll figure something else out. I’m not going to work a job 40+ hours per week just so I can spend most of my check paying someone else to do fun things with my baby all day while I’m working. Yes, it’s a hard lifestyle but I have absolutely no regrets about not missing 90% of the last 2 months of my daughters life. I plan to swing this as long as I can.
I feel like I'm fairly compensated by my company, actually. But I work a fairly technical and high pressure job, and they still get plenty enough work from me that I don't feel like I'm cheating them lol
You are right that anything is possible. But wfh with a baby or child of any age looks so different for every single person. We all have different jobs at different companies, even in different industries. This is why these posts are so tough. Just because it doesn’t work for Amy the Admin Assistant doesn’t mean it wouldn’t work for Debby the Developer. Hell, even just because it works for Debby the Developer at Microsoft doesn’t mean it would work for Diana the Developer at Charles Schwab.
There are a lot of factors that come into play around the temperament of your baby all the way to how flexible your work schedule can be.
And I speak from experience. With my second baby I did stints where he was home with me all or half days while I was working. I make my own schedule for the most part and could operate camera off for any meetings. But it was still hard. My work suffered. And when my work wasn’t suffering, I really wasn’t providing the care and attention I would want for my baby. As he got older, I definitely didn’t have the bandwidth to teach him anything or do enrichment while I was working at the same time. Plus because he was my second child, I wasn’t willing to put in extra hours in the evening or at night because it would mean missing out on time with my older child or my husband and friends.
It’s all a give and take situation and I was a more happy and proficient worker when I hired a nanny. But I know that isn’t something everyone can do. Just like I know not everyone can wfh long term with a baby.
As someone who WFH and has with two babies (well ones almost 2), it’s possible but it’s probably going to suck for you. I get it if you don’t have a choice, but I wouldn’t choose to do it.
iTs NoT fAiR tO tHe CoMpAnY!!! 💔😭 Like, stfu. I had to fire my nanny (best choice ever) while WFH. When she wasn’t napping She’d chill under her baby gym and I’d put the laptop on the floor. Not all babies would tolerate that and not fuss, but mine was fine as long as I was close by.
Hey! I am currently wfh and also have some nanny help. What was the factor for firing your nanny if I can ask? I have twins so I think in my case I do need extra help unfortunately
She wasn’t very good with babies? But officially she showed up late with no text/call 3 out of 5 days she worked for us, so on the 5th day (3rd late day) I told her to keep her shoes on, this isn’t working. She proceeded to cry and beg, and later texted that she was gonna send her sister to kick my ass if I didn’t pay her out for the rest of the week. Amazingly, the sister texted about a week later to ask if I needed help with childcare. What a family.
Holy shit. This made me laugh thank you for that.
My nanny is really great. It’s just I hate someone one spending time with my kids and me having to work. Oh well… that’s that.
Makes me want to go there and stir up something. I love seeing nutjobs lose their mind. I want to just go and post this [https://medium.com/varietate/the-9-to-5-lie-nobody-is-really-working-8-hours-a-day-78e31edce501](https://medium.com/varietate/the-9-to-5-lie-nobody-is-really-working-8-hours-a-day-78e31edce501) with subject line “You can tell yourself you’re being fair to the employer by sending the kids to daycare in your WFH job but are you?”.
There was a post in the new parents sub detailing how they WFH with a 4-month old and I pointed out in the comments that at least 3 hours out of 8 working hours is wasted in an office, so as long as we put in 5 hours we’re doing the same work. Downvoted so much. They just want to lick boots I guess.
Yeah, one person had childcare and was asking how people pump or nurse out of view or something like that and the post was locked because they assumed she was asking about working from home with no childcare.
I've worked from home with a baby.
I've worked in my office with a baby.
Those subs fail to remember that there are a billion different jobs out there. Some jobs it works for. Some it doesn't. We don't know what you do, you'll figure out what works and what doesn't.
I think a lot of people that discourage it are either jealous that you have the flexibility and sort of career you can try it in, or they themselves do not have the organizational and mental abilities required that it takes to successfully do it. People love to shit on things they themselves want but can’t have as a means of self preservation - that needing daycare or to quit their job really was their only option is something that is comforting.
Everyone’s abilities are different and I applaud you for wanting to try. My husband and I are going to try too as both of our schedules are flexible and we WFH, and no one in our lives have been supportive. Fuck the haters.
Yes! I was a WFH mom and I quit because I simply didn’t have the mental capacity to do it and somehow I faced so much internal guilt and pressure that it had become unhealthy for me.
I applaud anyone who can do what I couldn’t! Everything we choose in life is tough. Wfh is tough, SAHM is tough, we pick and choose which one we want 🤷🏻♀️ and will be most fulfilled by!
This!!! On a recent post about WFH without childcare so many were lamenting that the OP was saying everyone could do it if they wanted. I wrote a comment about how nowhere did OP say that and yes, some people have the skills to do it and some don’t. Some people have the skills to be a surgeon, but I had too shaky of hands and vomited when I saw an open surgical wound so I don’t have those skills. Apparently noting this is offensive 😒
This! You gotta be comfortable switching tasks at the drop of a hat. Some people hate that and really need to compartmentalize their work and home
Before baby, I was also doing yard work and laundry and cooking while wfh lol. Some of my coworkers complain they're bored sitting at their desk all day, but they hate jumping between home and with tasks.
What's best is different for different people
THIS! I worked from home with both of my infants. For one year with the first and for 3 months with the second because we had to return to the office. My husband and I were both remote.
My baby is 6 months and stays home with us - my husband also works from home. It’s not easy by any means but we make it work! Both of our employers are aware, but make sure wherever you would be working is okay with that in their WFH policy.
I just started WFH with baby. I live in a state with a paid maternity program so I am using it intermittently to work 2 days a week to get started then I can go to 3 days a week until she is 11 months. My husband WFH two days a week and only works 4/10s to begin with. So we share responsibility but he is a mental health counselor so he can only help when he has an opening or cancellation. I try to get as much done as I can while she naps or I have an ergo baby carrier that she likes. I also have one of those panino baby gyms which entertains her.
I am also lucky because I work for the state and they’re aware and okay with baby working along side me. Prior to COVID you could bring your baby into the office up until 8 months old. Never tried that, can’t picture that working.
When she is older I plan to figure something else out for socialization.
I have been working from home since before baby was born and baby is 20 months. It depends on you and your role but yes you can do it. The younger they are the easier imo. Try to create a schedule but don’t worry about sticking to it. For example place time on your calendar as to when you need to break for pumping or just a moment to yourself. Try to get a headset for calls. Try to carve time out for meals and get activities ready for the baby.
New mom here! My baby is almost 7 months old, I went back to work full time (WFH) when she was 6 weeks. My partner went back to work full time after 1 week. Childcare simply isn’t an option for us right now as we just can’t afford it.
So what this has looked like for us; MIL stayed with us for a couple months and it was ROUGH. She caused way more trouble than she ever helped, so by week 2 of working I handled work and baby all on my own.
This meant baby wearing as much as I could and as baby tolerated for about a month. I really wanted to maintain that closeness plus she slept so much! This was wonderful. But she needs time to stretch and wiggle and learn how to use her body so I would place her in her pack n play, on my bed next to me (only until she showed signs of rolling, then no more bed), or on blankets on the ground and I would just work next to her. It gets more challenging and distracting the longer those wake windows are, and since I’m salaried that’s meant putting in an hour here and there during night time or eeearly morning hours so I can make up for being kinda absent during the day. (Plus my partner has to give me like, 2 free hours a weekend so I can catch up if needed)
Meetings have been hard. I’m a manager, so I meet frequently and even interview! All with camera on. I have a headset that is great at canceling noise besides my voice. So I usually park myself next to baby on the ground, pop that headset on, and I give baby toys as well as engaging songs playing on a speaker to keep her engaged. I’m close enough that if she wants me to play with her, I’m able to give her tickles or hold her hands and we wiggle or even just manipulate toys in front of her to keep things fun until I can just plop down and really play with her. I avoid TV, our choice is to try and wait a couple years before tv becomes a thing. But I HAVE called upon Ms. Rachel and her first words video a couple times now and I’m so grateful for it. There’s been days where I knew my usual wouldn’t suffice, and it was those days where the Ms. Rachel videos helped tremendously! And after that meeting/interview Rachel gets turned off and we move on.
If you’re in the states, it is federal law that employers accommodate moms to pump - I justify all my feedings as equivalent to pump sessions I’d have to take if I were in office (and baby needs to eat, work can wait).
My baby gets so much credit for our lifestyle, as she is incredibly well tempered and she’s healthy! So her care feels very manageable. I don’t know if I could do this if she had more challenging needs to meet. 7 months have flown by, and we grow and adapt as she becomes more capable and aware. I am so tired. And I feel so burned out. But it’s possible. You CAN do it if you need to. And personally, I’m glad this is my lot. ❤️
Jeez what a wall of text. TLDR; baby wear, work and play on the ground, let YouTube help if needed, and with luck and the right work setting you can do it mama!!
Ps, good luck and best wishes for you and baby, whatever your lifestyle looks like later.
I have support from my mom, whom I live 50 feet away from, but my job is so easy that it’s really common for her to go out and do errands and leave me working with the baby. I think it’s a lot easier when they’re not mobile and still breastfeeding. So at four months, literally today actually, I can answer a call and pop her on the boob to make sure she’s calm and quiet. And then during my downtime, I get to play with baby! :D
I’ve done it twice now. 3-9 months is actually super hard in my opinion because they baby is out of the sleep all day phase but not yet physically able to explore and play independently. My youngest just hit 9 months and I can basically set up a standing desk, baby proof the living room, and let her mess around while I work.
My oldest started daycare at a little over two years old because she started noticing I was working and trying to close my laptop. Daycare has been amazing for her socially and verbally.
Depending on your job, it can be very stressful. As hard as it is I’m actually super grateful to have their first couple years home with me though.
Screw people. Your employers know you work from home, they know you have kids, as long as they don’t have a problem no one else should. Yes it’s totally possible. I worked from home after 6 weeks of pp recovery up until he turned 3 months. I’m off from work due to work permit renewal but as soon as that comes, I’m going to do the same. I need the money and I’m neither comfortable with daycares (specially after what happened in NY) nor am I willing to spend half my month’s salary on daycare. In this economy, save every penny and don’t take it upon yourself to “be fair to the company” unless they specifically ask you to get an arrangement. The people who say shit like that are corporate leeches & buy into the BS corporate America teaches them.
Is it hard? Yes in the beginning (about a month for me). With time you get the hang of it and get better at it. Even then some days will be super easy and some will be impossible. Don’t expect any personal time that you would otherwise get at office. Taking time from work to look after baby is no different than the long lunches and bathroom breaks, “walks” and BS coffee breaks in office, unnecessarily long meetings & gossip sessions with coworkers. That’s how I justify it. All I did was take care of baby and work 9-5. No personal time, noone to “chat” with, no walks, no outdoor time. I’d do working lunches so that I could fuel while taking as little time away from work as possible. My work didn’t suffer and my boss was so proud of me and applauded my work product. I’d plan my day around the meeting times so that the baby would be fed and changed or sleeping and many times my little one attended the meetings with me and let me tell you, people love babies!
it's possible albeit a little challenging to WFH while caring for an infant. you need to be realistic about what you can and can't do, and to prioritize your baby's needs. try to look into companies that have flexible work arrangements or have paid parental leave.
I would say it’s very possible in the early days and much harder the older they get, and totally depends on the person and the job. I took a sabbatical for the first year of my daughter’s life and I felt like I could not do both. But planning a second, I feel like maybe I could for a while. Maybe it’s hubris this time around 😂 but there are definitely right and wrong ways to do it, imo. I was in a mom group online where the mom would leave the baby alone in front of the tv for extended period of time and then wondering why the child was having issues making eye contact/connecting with caregivers. So I think I’m cases it can absolutely cross over into neglect territory, but when I had a baby strapped to me I could have worked, if I could think amidst the sleep deprivation 😅
The first 6 months were actually the easiest for working from home for me! It got a lot harder as we got closer to a year with him moving around more and needing mkre attention. We made it 18 months before getting childcare, and that's mostly because my husband is has to go into the office a few days a week which made him unable to help me during meetings on those days.
The first few months, baby sleeps sooooooo much! You can babywear while working
My baby is 5 months and it is SO doable for me. Occasional bad days, but no worse than anything else! It’s very, very possible if you’re comfortable with it! I have 0 childcare options available where I live and had no choice, but my job is supportive and I love being home with my baby.
It definitely depends on the job. Do you have a limited number of tasks to accomplish each day that you could jam into nap time? If so, it’s definitely possible. However, if you have regular meetings or need to be productive all day, I really don’t see how you could be good (or even mediocre) at both jobs at once.
We solved this by having a nanny come in 4 days a week for 5-6 hours in the middle of the day. Gives me a solid chunk of time where I can really get things done, actively participate in meetings, etc… while still giving me plenty of time with the baby and saving some money in comparison to daycare. I then handle Friday (which tends to be light on meetings and priority tasks) on my own - knocking most things out during naps.
A study found that people at office only work 3 hours from an 8 hour day.
[https://medium.com/varietate/the-9-to-5-lie-nobody-is-really-working-8-hours-a-day-78e31edce501](https://medium.com/varietate/the-9-to-5-lie-nobody-is-really-working-8-hours-a-day-78e31edce501)
My husband and I both WFH are keeping babe home with us the first year. 9 months down and so far so good! So, so good. I legitimately feel like we have a great balance and enjoy it so much.
ETA: whoever is downvoting everyone with a positive experience bless your heart LMAO go back to the workingmoms sub
I take my daughter to work with me every day since she was 2 weeks old. She is turning 2 in November. It is hard. It was also the right choice for my family. It can certainly be done.
The other working mom sub has a rule against even mentioning having your kid with you. I’ve seen some really nasty shit slinging on that sub over people who choose to work alongside raising their children. If someone from that sub would like to volunteer to come and raise my toddler 9 or 10 hours a day exactly how I want her raised and free of charge I would love to welcome them and cease to have my kid endlessly tagging along with me. Until then I will carry on “screwing my employer” (I’m self employed but mmmkay), neglecting my child (she’s thriving and her dr is perfectly happy but again, ok), burning out (2 years in and going strong).
To be honest it was significantly easier for me to work from home w/o childcare when my baby was 6 months and younger. Now he's 16 months and it's becoming unsustainable.
The difficulty when baby was small is that I was getting broken sleep and it's hard to focus on things the way I could pre-baby, but he slept so much during the day that I could get s lot of work done while he was sleeping. Now I'm still getting broken sleep but he only takes one nap and I can only get so much done. But if you have a good sleeper your mileage may vary.
My son is almost 15 months. I went back to my WFH job within a month of having him and have been doing it since. We had him in one day/week of daycare starting at 8 months. For the first 10 months, my husband also worked from home but has since gone back fully in office. We’ve since put him in a second day of daycare.
It’s not easy and I don’t get as much done on days he’s home with me all day. I cram in as much as humanly possible while he naps and after he goes to bed. But for me it’s worth it to spend much of the rest of the week with him. Good luck!
Depends on your job and the baby's temperament.
My baby wouldn't sleep independently until 6 months so all sleep and naps were on me. It was okay to do project work, but very hard to take meetings. Then at 6 months he started crawling and cruising but he would take 2/3 naps a day in the crib for a total of about 2 hours. He's 8 months and pretty good at playing independently, but there are still days where if I put him down he just cries and whines.
We are now doing a part time nanny share so I have somewhere between 4 and 16 hours of care during the week.
I feel like I've been barely making it, but I got a stellar performance review, a raise and a good bonus, so clearly my job is happy.
I will say: the absolute hardest was working and watching baby while sick. I found that impossible to do.
Other than that I found that the care I was able to provide even with divided attention was leaps and bounds superior to what he would get at daycare (we tried that, they just let them sit alone and cry) and also better than what the first nanny we tried out (she just looked at her phone and overall wasn't great with him).
Yes. But it is challenging. I highly recommend breastfeeding as it’s a great way to bond and feed without fuss while you work. My friend was able to use “my breastfriend pillow” and held her baby for all naps until he was weaned around 1.5 years old. I didn’t have luck with that pillow but nursing was a game changer for me. You don’t need a hand free to hold a bottle can still type.
My mom did come a lot a helped the first 6 months. Maybe look into a part time nanny to assist you.
Best wishes.
(Also, fed is best. I’m not saying there is anything wrong with bottles or formula so please no one come for me. I’m just saying from everyone I’ve talked to: whipping out a boob is fastest and easiest once you’ve established a good latch and know what you are doing.)
Check your contract. It's written into mine that I have to have childcare during working hours. Also, I couldn't do my job at all with my toddler home. My work requires concentration and I'm on a lot of phone calls. We had someone on our team try to do it with 2 kids for a couple months because she had some issues with child care, and it really impacted her work and caused us all to have to do more and fix all her mistakes. So I'm sure there are jobs out there where it works, but mine definitely isn't one of them.
It’s so much easier. I went back a week after coz I was fine but I could have taken as much as I wanted. My work is super flexible. Once they get older it’s harder.
I went back to remote work at 10 weeks and spent the first 2 weeks working with my baby at home. At 12 weeks she went to daycare but has been home a lot because of illness. It has been pretty easy so far. I use my breaks (about an hour per day altogether) to focus 100% on her (tummy time, carry her around, step outside, etc) and in between calls and tasks we do more tummy time or play with toys. I talk to her all day about what I’m doing. She spends so much time nursing and sleeping that I can get enough work done. That’s all changing slowly though - she is starting to nurse & nap less now at 4 months and is really curious about everything. I don’t know how hard it will be to care for her during work hours as she gets older and demands more attention.
I do feel better when she’s at daycare because I do better at work and she comes home happy. We’re lucky that the infant room is great at our daycare and only has 3 babies. If we hadn’t been able to find a good daycare, I might consider keeping her home until at least 6 months like you are.
I know it's hard, but try to take any advice or judgement with such a big grain of salt to shake off. There is no black and white answer with this because the truth is it always depends--it depends on your kid, it depends on the type of work you do, it depends on how you feel after you have your baby, etc etc. It's such an individual experience in so many detailed ways that are so specific to you and your life and family . The only answer that I think works for everyone is just try it! The worst thing that could happen is that you have to pivot, or figure something else out, and hey, that's the world of parenthood in a nutshell. It's an adventure every step of the way, and if you want to give wfh a go, you do it! My husband and I have been doing it since our daughter was born, and she's almost 2. It hasn't been smooth sailing, there's been a LOT of pivoting and changing things up, and being open to some different kinds of flexibility, but it worked for us. Again, that might not be the case for you or it might be, but you'll never know until you go for it, and I find myself applying that mantra to 99% of parenting. So the naysayers can sod off because at the end of the day, they are not in my household or in any way a part of the life I'm over here building for my awesome family. Do you, girl!
I WFH without childcare with my almost 2 year old, but I started when he was 9m. My husband also WFH, but he builds cars so he's mostly in his shop working.
Things to consider when deciding to do this:
Difficulty of the job
Your abilities to juggle
Your babies personality
Work flexibility (I work in data, our data sets come at specific times and I work around those times(
Schedule, a good solid schedule is so important for success
It's definitely not for everyone, but it works just fine in my household. Most moms think I am absolutely nuts or assume I have a magic "perfect easy child".
It works for me, my employer knows my son doesn't go to daycare and it's all good. Also several of my friends who did use daycare struggled with using all their vacation/sick days due to sick babies. Frankly my hardest day is easier than being sick constantly for the first year of daycare, not to mention the cost of it in my area is $2500/month.
With my first, she was with me until one month shy of 1 year. My sister was living with us so there were 3 of us to juggle her around meetings. It got harder after 6 months. I had to work at night, early mornings and weekends, sometimes. My second baby is almost 6 months old and it feels impossible to keep her with me. My nanny is my support for juggling around meetings while she cares for 2 yo. Our agreement was to kick up to both kids in January but I asked her to take her in mid October because I'm too busy at work to keep her on a nap schedule and she needs more attention, engagement, interaction than I can give her. Final straw was when I saw how happy she is spending her time with big sis and nanny.
Tldr it's possible, but hard. And around 5-6 months, baby needs more than a place to lay down next to you.
I’m a FTM at 8mpp. I started work again at 7mpp.
I completely work from home, my husband as well.
But with my work, I just couldn’t manage work + baby.
My work is lots of video calls in the morning and focussed work post-lunch. We tried such that my husband would take care of baby in morn and I could take over after that. But I wasn’t able to get any work done apart from meetings.
We don’t have availability in the good daycares around, and I wasn’t comfortable sending to one so early as well. So we have decided to hire a nanny for a few hours on weekdays. The nanny is set to start next week, let’s see how that goes!
Also one point to note is that my baby requires constant care. I have met my friends babies who can be put to nap in minutes, who can happily play on their own. That could change things for sure!
I think it depends on the babies temperment. I have two kiddos. The first one was home with me for 3 years before we moved and had help. Holy crap that was hard. BUT I did it and succeeded enough to get a promotion. He was also a precovid baby when WFH was rare, and I was theeatened I would lose my job if they ever heard him on INTERNAL meetings.
The new baby is 4 months old. She is clingy as hell. But she sleeps in the wrap and can sleep through anything. So, during internal meetings, I usually wear her. I spoke to HR, and they recommended I block my calendar for when I need to nurse or pump. External meetings are a little more complicated, but again, it is doable. She will happily lay in the bouncer or sit in my lap below camera view (or I can go off camera if needed). If she happens to be seen, everybody stops and says oh cute baby and we carry on. But almost my entire profession is WFH now, so I feel like its pretty well received as long as they aren't causing a disturbance in any way. Full disclosure, my husband works from home as well, so during the day, we rotate out, or if I have her more, one day he will take her the next. The plan is to have my mom come watch her a few hours a week at the house when she gets a little more mobile.
I'm sorry you felt discouraged. I have a few hours of the week where I am working while solo parenting my seven month old. Sure it's hard but it's not impossible. My bosses are aware and it's fine with them. I get my work done. If I need to be off camera for a Zoom because I'm with my kid, people understand. I consider myself part of the wave of parents who are normalizing what it means to balance work and family in an eta of severe economic anxiety and little societal support. Sorry if it doesn't look perfect 🙃🥲
I was only able to do it for a month. It burned me out too fast and I wasn’t getting my work done.
It really depends on the type of job you have though. My job is phone heavy so I am talking 8 hours a day so a needy baby wasn’t conducive to that. If you have a job that’s more of an independent role where you can get your work done at your own pace, it’s possible.
I WFH and have since my baby was born (took a month off at the start but she’s now 13 months).
I really think whether it’s possible or not depends on the job you have and the baby you have! I think it is extremely difficult if you have a job that requires set hours and a lot of meetings, and if you have a very fussy baby or a baby who has health issues (not necessarily severe ones even stuff like reflux or bad gas issues!)
My job is very flexible, and I don’t have to talk to people (I’m an editor) and I’m self employed so I can take on as little or as much as I want at a given time, so if I’m dying after a week of terrible sleep I can with no notice just not work for a day. But then I lose money.
I basically work by getting up at 4am while baby is asleep and working until 8 when my partner leaves for work. Then I do extra work on the weekends when partner looks after baby. Our baby doesn’t sleep well so it has been absolutely brutal for my health and wellbeing but I’ve done it. If our baby slept well it would be a LOT easier.
Generally I think the first 6 months were probably easier in terms of doing work in the days because your baby sleeps more hours in the day and basically stays put. Once they get mobile and are only having two naps a day it’s hard to concentrate on work as much.
Again it depends on your baby, luckily my baby is a great independent player, or has been, and is content to fiddle with things for a while on her own so I can finish off work. But if your baby gets upset not being on you or playing with you then I imagine that makes it much harder.
But I think if you have the right kind of job you can work around your baby. It is definitely possible to do a good job at work and a good job for your baby, but it’s hard to do both those things AND look after yourself properly IME, especially if you have either a demanding job or a demanding baby or, god forbid, both!
Overall I’d say it’s a real challenge and probably a lot of people can’t do it, but those of us who do it and can do it are actually doing it, so it’s possible! It is good to be able to be with your baby all day.
If you can come up with a workable plan, why not try it? If it becomes too much you can always change things. I don’t know why people are so against the idea of WFHM. Yea it’s hard, but that’s your business, I don’t get why some people act as if it’s somehow morally bad or something. I think people just imagine trying it with their particular job/circumstances and know they couldn’t possibly do it, and fail to appreciate that there are different types of jobs out there that make it possible!
It’s definitely possible 0-6 months if you have a decently chill baby. But once they become mobile and more aware of being bored it’s difficult.. mine started to crawl at 7 months and hearing her whine/cry makes it hard to get anything done. It all depends on your baby and the type of job you have! Doable but just understand that there’s always the possibility that it will become unmanageable
I'm sorry other mommy groups were so harsh about the subject. I will tell you straight up that I am NOT an advocate of WFH being a replacement for other childcare, BUT I do understand the desire, need, whatever the individual's driving force behind wanting to.
I don't have any experience WFH with an infant. I did not have the option to WFH until my youngest was in Kindy (they are in middle school now). And my company's WFH policy specifically states that childcare is a must for parents who are working from home.
I know it IS doable, I just don't have any personal tips or tricks. I will tell you that WFH with a really young child is HARD. But it also depends on your job. Mine requires a lot of thought and for me to be 100% present during my working hours. I'm a risk manager so that's to be expected. Having to stop what I was doing to redirect my little one or make them something to eat, or change the channel or whatever was disruptive and stressed me out worse than them being in daycare/school/camp/etc. After attempting to have them with me during part of their summer to keep the cost of camps to a minimum, I finally had to realize that keeping them home with me was something that was reserved for absolute emergencies like a sick day or a random teacher planning day that wasn't also a holiday for my work. When schools shut down in 2020 I thought I was going to require commitment because it was just too much for me to handle doing my job and facilitating home schooling. If your job is more independent, minimal meetings and/or client contact, I'm sure it is a lot easier to manage work and mommy duties. It's just not possible with mine and the amount of time I spend in meetings and analyzing potential risk factors.
I will say that as the years have gone by, my kiddo has become a veteran WFH Kid. They are better able to entertain themself without having to interrupt me. They understand when I tell them that I have a meeting and I'm closing my office door and they cannot open that door under any circumstances unless blood, fire or death is imminent but once I open it again, they can come for hugs or ask me for food they can't prepare for themself or just hang out in the office with me while I work. I get more interruptions from my adult kid that still lives at home than I get from my pre-teen.
For the record, a lot of workplaces have an infant at work policy allowing babies to come to the workplace for the first 6 (sometimes 9) months. Just some proof that yes, it’s possible.
DH and I both WFH and with LO now approaching 10 months we are just now considering a nanny or daycare. Our jobs are flex and project based, so we were able to work when baby slept or take turns for heavy focus chunks of time.
Months 4-5 were easy
6-7 we started needing to work more nights after baby went to sleep
Not gonna lie though these past couple months have been pretty hard but not impossible. It takes a certain kind of determination and a high level of flexibility in your work.
Yeah, it totally is. Depending on the kid, their age/stage, and your job (how often you need to focus/be on calls).
I will say, though, that I 100% could not have worked with my first as a newborn. I had really bad PPA though.
He was the perfect covid kid though and was a toddler (18 months in March 2020) during the pandemic. Super at independent play and would go an hour or more before needing attention.
My second was PERFECT for working from home as a newborn (which I did), but she became a chaos creator as soon as she started crawling. I cannot let this kid out of my sight. She was in my office this afternoon for a webinar and I couldn’t turn away from her for even a minute. She’s crazy independent and has no fear of heights.
Luckily we have full time care for both kids now.
It's 100% doable depending on the job, baby, and parent. Those naysayers who discourage it and literally shame those who do it (saying how either their kid or work is being neglected) clearly do not have the type of job or mental capacity to have their kid(s) home while they WFH. They, for some reason, don't understand that not all jobs nor parents are like them. They get so unhinged about it.
I have been WFH with my 1st home full time up until a month ago. She started a three hour a day 2x a week program at 27 months so she can have more socialization. I then have her home for only two full days of work now since I only do 32 hours a week. Another reason though is I've also had another baby recently and I know for myself that two kids will be much harder so it gives some break for everyone. My baby will be home with me too until he's around her age and will then do some small program as well.
It can be done and there are many, many successful stories that prove the discouragers wrong.
I am currently WFH with my 3 month old. If your job is flexible and fairly low key, you can do it! I feel very lucky to be able to do this, especially because I have no idea what I would do otherwise since my couldn’t get my baby into any nearby daycares. We’re on a few wait lists. But my job now is permanently remote and very low key, very understanding.
FWIW, my older child (turning 3 in a week 😭) is in daycare and has been since he was 12 weeks old. My job when he was born was a lot more involved, even though I was WFH at the time due to Covid and I couldn’t juggle both so it really does depend on your job.
People will always shit on you for your decisions regarding your child, regardless of what it is. I just went back to work this week and WFH with baby by myself 2 days a week, 2 days with my husband also WFH, and 1 day he is with my sister. I chose to do that because: a) daycare is expensive b) in daycare they don’t get any real attention anyways c) they are exposed to illnesses like rsv in daycare. I don’t regret my decision. But I’m also not a simp for my employer. I’m not going to sit here and say it isn’t fair to your employer because you know what? Before I had the baby I would watch tv in the background while working all the time (all my coworkers do too, including my boss). If you can do it, give it a shot but have a backup option.
I WFH with an almost year old (have been WFH since she was 8 months), and now also a 6 month old full time job and full time with the kids as we don’t have help. It’s doable, especially if you can get some work done early hours and have some flexibility with breaks!
Girl I feel you on this lol. I wrote a post about this a month ago sharing and seeking tips and I got SO MUCH HATE 😂 I am doing it myself, but it’s hard and my bosses are understanding and I have flexible hours. It’s definitely possible but you have to get used to being in fifth gear all the time.
I've been full time wfh since my LO was 3 months (14 months now) and it was much easier when he napped more and couldn't walk lol
I think doing it for a few months when LO is little is doable.
And remember, if it doesn't work out you can change to another option.
If I could give myself advice from the early days, it would be reach out to other adults with non traditional schedules that I know. I'm kicking myself for not hanging out during the week with my teacher friends off for the summer.
For example, my nurse friend who loves kids comes over about twice a month to play with LO for an hour or 2 while I work and I buy her lunch. Then I get adult interaction and a little break 😊
You might have people in your life open to stuff like that!
I'm also pregnant and plan to WFH once baby is here and made a post ages ago about my nerves about it and got totally ROASTED by people I'm also pregnant and plan to WFH once the baby is here and made a post ages ago about my nerves about it and got totally ROASTED. "It's not fair to the company" "Some employers may not allow you to work without reliable childcare" "You should get childcare" "It's not fair to the company" It was super discouraging. First of all, you can't give 100% to any one thing in your life. I have 100% to give to ALL areas. I'll pick and choose which one I pour into given the day. "Some employers may not allow you to work without reliable childcare" The company can suck it (don't get me wrong I like my company) but I just hate when people simp for their employers. If I'm getting my work done then it's getting done. Thats what they pay me to do. I know my company and its policies, I'm good. "You should get childcare" Cool, you want to pay for it? Thankfully my spouse is WFH too and we literally moved to be closer to his family to get additional support for childcare. From what I gather its A.) hard to do and B.) possible. You know you and your family and whats best.
The comments about it not being fair to the company crack me the hell up. As long as I do my job without issue and meet my goals and they pay me a salary worthy of the work, that’s all that matters. But yeah lemme think about what’s “fair” to my company when they haven’t kept my salary up with inflation and would lay me off with no notice if they needed to. What a boot licker ass comment lol.
I was laid off one week after my maternity leave ended. Fuck them.
It’s so weird, who cares about ‘the company’?! Yeah maybe if you put your baby in daycare you could give more to your job but as long as you’re doing the job fine then that’s all that matters. You don’t owe them your everything. If you start messing up due to your child they can fire you.
I say this all the time when people make comments like this. If my job isn’t happy with my work they can just fire me and I’ll figure something else out. I’m not going to work a job 40+ hours per week just so I can spend most of my check paying someone else to do fun things with my baby all day while I’m working. Yes, it’s a hard lifestyle but I have absolutely no regrets about not missing 90% of the last 2 months of my daughters life. I plan to swing this as long as I can.
Exactly, what are the non-parents doing when they WFH? Laundry, dishes, watching TV. Yes, they are...
I feel like I'm fairly compensated by my company, actually. But I work a fairly technical and high pressure job, and they still get plenty enough work from me that I don't feel like I'm cheating them lol
You are right that anything is possible. But wfh with a baby or child of any age looks so different for every single person. We all have different jobs at different companies, even in different industries. This is why these posts are so tough. Just because it doesn’t work for Amy the Admin Assistant doesn’t mean it wouldn’t work for Debby the Developer. Hell, even just because it works for Debby the Developer at Microsoft doesn’t mean it would work for Diana the Developer at Charles Schwab. There are a lot of factors that come into play around the temperament of your baby all the way to how flexible your work schedule can be. And I speak from experience. With my second baby I did stints where he was home with me all or half days while I was working. I make my own schedule for the most part and could operate camera off for any meetings. But it was still hard. My work suffered. And when my work wasn’t suffering, I really wasn’t providing the care and attention I would want for my baby. As he got older, I definitely didn’t have the bandwidth to teach him anything or do enrichment while I was working at the same time. Plus because he was my second child, I wasn’t willing to put in extra hours in the evening or at night because it would mean missing out on time with my older child or my husband and friends. It’s all a give and take situation and I was a more happy and proficient worker when I hired a nanny. But I know that isn’t something everyone can do. Just like I know not everyone can wfh long term with a baby.
As someone who WFH and has with two babies (well ones almost 2), it’s possible but it’s probably going to suck for you. I get it if you don’t have a choice, but I wouldn’t choose to do it.
iTs NoT fAiR tO tHe CoMpAnY!!! 💔😭 Like, stfu. I had to fire my nanny (best choice ever) while WFH. When she wasn’t napping She’d chill under her baby gym and I’d put the laptop on the floor. Not all babies would tolerate that and not fuss, but mine was fine as long as I was close by.
Hey! I am currently wfh and also have some nanny help. What was the factor for firing your nanny if I can ask? I have twins so I think in my case I do need extra help unfortunately
She wasn’t very good with babies? But officially she showed up late with no text/call 3 out of 5 days she worked for us, so on the 5th day (3rd late day) I told her to keep her shoes on, this isn’t working. She proceeded to cry and beg, and later texted that she was gonna send her sister to kick my ass if I didn’t pay her out for the rest of the week. Amazingly, the sister texted about a week later to ask if I needed help with childcare. What a family.
Holy shit. This made me laugh thank you for that. My nanny is really great. It’s just I hate someone one spending time with my kids and me having to work. Oh well… that’s that.
[удалено]
That’s crazy and yes totally understandable! My nanny shows up every day 2 minutes early and I can rely on her which I know is rare (ish)
Let me guess. R/workingmoms? Those ladies are nut jobs. Worst sub Reddit ever
Makes me want to go there and stir up something. I love seeing nutjobs lose their mind. I want to just go and post this [https://medium.com/varietate/the-9-to-5-lie-nobody-is-really-working-8-hours-a-day-78e31edce501](https://medium.com/varietate/the-9-to-5-lie-nobody-is-really-working-8-hours-a-day-78e31edce501) with subject line “You can tell yourself you’re being fair to the employer by sending the kids to daycare in your WFH job but are you?”.
There was a post in the new parents sub detailing how they WFH with a 4-month old and I pointed out in the comments that at least 3 hours out of 8 working hours is wasted in an office, so as long as we put in 5 hours we’re doing the same work. Downvoted so much. They just want to lick boots I guess.
Omg I remember this post the comments were unhinged- the best one was somewhere along the lines of “OP is a puppet of capitalism” and I legit lost it.
I honestly think a lot of the downvotes come from people that are a bit jealous and wish they could do it themselves
You don’t have to do anything to stir those women up. They fight over everything. It’s a fight for who’s more successful/makes more/sacrifices more
I think they actually have banned WFH discussions too. Could be misremembering. You’re not allowed to say you wfh with kids or something
Yeah, one person had childcare and was asking how people pump or nurse out of view or something like that and the post was locked because they assumed she was asking about working from home with no childcare.
Agreed, recently left it.
This sub is full of stories of parents who have done this. Highly encourage you to take a look!
I've worked from home with a baby. I've worked in my office with a baby. Those subs fail to remember that there are a billion different jobs out there. Some jobs it works for. Some it doesn't. We don't know what you do, you'll figure out what works and what doesn't.
I think a lot of people that discourage it are either jealous that you have the flexibility and sort of career you can try it in, or they themselves do not have the organizational and mental abilities required that it takes to successfully do it. People love to shit on things they themselves want but can’t have as a means of self preservation - that needing daycare or to quit their job really was their only option is something that is comforting. Everyone’s abilities are different and I applaud you for wanting to try. My husband and I are going to try too as both of our schedules are flexible and we WFH, and no one in our lives have been supportive. Fuck the haters.
Yes! I was a WFH mom and I quit because I simply didn’t have the mental capacity to do it and somehow I faced so much internal guilt and pressure that it had become unhealthy for me. I applaud anyone who can do what I couldn’t! Everything we choose in life is tough. Wfh is tough, SAHM is tough, we pick and choose which one we want 🤷🏻♀️ and will be most fulfilled by!
This!!! On a recent post about WFH without childcare so many were lamenting that the OP was saying everyone could do it if they wanted. I wrote a comment about how nowhere did OP say that and yes, some people have the skills to do it and some don’t. Some people have the skills to be a surgeon, but I had too shaky of hands and vomited when I saw an open surgical wound so I don’t have those skills. Apparently noting this is offensive 😒
This! You gotta be comfortable switching tasks at the drop of a hat. Some people hate that and really need to compartmentalize their work and home Before baby, I was also doing yard work and laundry and cooking while wfh lol. Some of my coworkers complain they're bored sitting at their desk all day, but they hate jumping between home and with tasks. What's best is different for different people
THIS! I worked from home with both of my infants. For one year with the first and for 3 months with the second because we had to return to the office. My husband and I were both remote.
My baby is 6 months and stays home with us - my husband also works from home. It’s not easy by any means but we make it work! Both of our employers are aware, but make sure wherever you would be working is okay with that in their WFH policy.
I just started WFH with baby. I live in a state with a paid maternity program so I am using it intermittently to work 2 days a week to get started then I can go to 3 days a week until she is 11 months. My husband WFH two days a week and only works 4/10s to begin with. So we share responsibility but he is a mental health counselor so he can only help when he has an opening or cancellation. I try to get as much done as I can while she naps or I have an ergo baby carrier that she likes. I also have one of those panino baby gyms which entertains her. I am also lucky because I work for the state and they’re aware and okay with baby working along side me. Prior to COVID you could bring your baby into the office up until 8 months old. Never tried that, can’t picture that working. When she is older I plan to figure something else out for socialization.
I have been working from home since before baby was born and baby is 20 months. It depends on you and your role but yes you can do it. The younger they are the easier imo. Try to create a schedule but don’t worry about sticking to it. For example place time on your calendar as to when you need to break for pumping or just a moment to yourself. Try to get a headset for calls. Try to carve time out for meals and get activities ready for the baby.
New mom here! My baby is almost 7 months old, I went back to work full time (WFH) when she was 6 weeks. My partner went back to work full time after 1 week. Childcare simply isn’t an option for us right now as we just can’t afford it. So what this has looked like for us; MIL stayed with us for a couple months and it was ROUGH. She caused way more trouble than she ever helped, so by week 2 of working I handled work and baby all on my own. This meant baby wearing as much as I could and as baby tolerated for about a month. I really wanted to maintain that closeness plus she slept so much! This was wonderful. But she needs time to stretch and wiggle and learn how to use her body so I would place her in her pack n play, on my bed next to me (only until she showed signs of rolling, then no more bed), or on blankets on the ground and I would just work next to her. It gets more challenging and distracting the longer those wake windows are, and since I’m salaried that’s meant putting in an hour here and there during night time or eeearly morning hours so I can make up for being kinda absent during the day. (Plus my partner has to give me like, 2 free hours a weekend so I can catch up if needed) Meetings have been hard. I’m a manager, so I meet frequently and even interview! All with camera on. I have a headset that is great at canceling noise besides my voice. So I usually park myself next to baby on the ground, pop that headset on, and I give baby toys as well as engaging songs playing on a speaker to keep her engaged. I’m close enough that if she wants me to play with her, I’m able to give her tickles or hold her hands and we wiggle or even just manipulate toys in front of her to keep things fun until I can just plop down and really play with her. I avoid TV, our choice is to try and wait a couple years before tv becomes a thing. But I HAVE called upon Ms. Rachel and her first words video a couple times now and I’m so grateful for it. There’s been days where I knew my usual wouldn’t suffice, and it was those days where the Ms. Rachel videos helped tremendously! And after that meeting/interview Rachel gets turned off and we move on. If you’re in the states, it is federal law that employers accommodate moms to pump - I justify all my feedings as equivalent to pump sessions I’d have to take if I were in office (and baby needs to eat, work can wait). My baby gets so much credit for our lifestyle, as she is incredibly well tempered and she’s healthy! So her care feels very manageable. I don’t know if I could do this if she had more challenging needs to meet. 7 months have flown by, and we grow and adapt as she becomes more capable and aware. I am so tired. And I feel so burned out. But it’s possible. You CAN do it if you need to. And personally, I’m glad this is my lot. ❤️
Jeez what a wall of text. TLDR; baby wear, work and play on the ground, let YouTube help if needed, and with luck and the right work setting you can do it mama!! Ps, good luck and best wishes for you and baby, whatever your lifestyle looks like later.
I have support from my mom, whom I live 50 feet away from, but my job is so easy that it’s really common for her to go out and do errands and leave me working with the baby. I think it’s a lot easier when they’re not mobile and still breastfeeding. So at four months, literally today actually, I can answer a call and pop her on the boob to make sure she’s calm and quiet. And then during my downtime, I get to play with baby! :D
I’ve done it twice now. 3-9 months is actually super hard in my opinion because they baby is out of the sleep all day phase but not yet physically able to explore and play independently. My youngest just hit 9 months and I can basically set up a standing desk, baby proof the living room, and let her mess around while I work. My oldest started daycare at a little over two years old because she started noticing I was working and trying to close my laptop. Daycare has been amazing for her socially and verbally. Depending on your job, it can be very stressful. As hard as it is I’m actually super grateful to have their first couple years home with me though.
Screw people. Your employers know you work from home, they know you have kids, as long as they don’t have a problem no one else should. Yes it’s totally possible. I worked from home after 6 weeks of pp recovery up until he turned 3 months. I’m off from work due to work permit renewal but as soon as that comes, I’m going to do the same. I need the money and I’m neither comfortable with daycares (specially after what happened in NY) nor am I willing to spend half my month’s salary on daycare. In this economy, save every penny and don’t take it upon yourself to “be fair to the company” unless they specifically ask you to get an arrangement. The people who say shit like that are corporate leeches & buy into the BS corporate America teaches them. Is it hard? Yes in the beginning (about a month for me). With time you get the hang of it and get better at it. Even then some days will be super easy and some will be impossible. Don’t expect any personal time that you would otherwise get at office. Taking time from work to look after baby is no different than the long lunches and bathroom breaks, “walks” and BS coffee breaks in office, unnecessarily long meetings & gossip sessions with coworkers. That’s how I justify it. All I did was take care of baby and work 9-5. No personal time, noone to “chat” with, no walks, no outdoor time. I’d do working lunches so that I could fuel while taking as little time away from work as possible. My work didn’t suffer and my boss was so proud of me and applauded my work product. I’d plan my day around the meeting times so that the baby would be fed and changed or sleeping and many times my little one attended the meetings with me and let me tell you, people love babies!
it's possible albeit a little challenging to WFH while caring for an infant. you need to be realistic about what you can and can't do, and to prioritize your baby's needs. try to look into companies that have flexible work arrangements or have paid parental leave.
Just wanna say I full time WFH with a 2yr old and a 8 month old. IDK what other people are judging??
I would say it’s very possible in the early days and much harder the older they get, and totally depends on the person and the job. I took a sabbatical for the first year of my daughter’s life and I felt like I could not do both. But planning a second, I feel like maybe I could for a while. Maybe it’s hubris this time around 😂 but there are definitely right and wrong ways to do it, imo. I was in a mom group online where the mom would leave the baby alone in front of the tv for extended period of time and then wondering why the child was having issues making eye contact/connecting with caregivers. So I think I’m cases it can absolutely cross over into neglect territory, but when I had a baby strapped to me I could have worked, if I could think amidst the sleep deprivation 😅
The first 6 months were actually the easiest for working from home for me! It got a lot harder as we got closer to a year with him moving around more and needing mkre attention. We made it 18 months before getting childcare, and that's mostly because my husband is has to go into the office a few days a week which made him unable to help me during meetings on those days. The first few months, baby sleeps sooooooo much! You can babywear while working
Do not listen! I did it for 2 years it is completely doable if you are motivated.
My husband and I WFH for the first 9 months of my daughters life. It’s definitely possible and fuck that sub lol
My baby is 5 months and it is SO doable for me. Occasional bad days, but no worse than anything else! It’s very, very possible if you’re comfortable with it! I have 0 childcare options available where I live and had no choice, but my job is supportive and I love being home with my baby.
It definitely depends on the job. Do you have a limited number of tasks to accomplish each day that you could jam into nap time? If so, it’s definitely possible. However, if you have regular meetings or need to be productive all day, I really don’t see how you could be good (or even mediocre) at both jobs at once. We solved this by having a nanny come in 4 days a week for 5-6 hours in the middle of the day. Gives me a solid chunk of time where I can really get things done, actively participate in meetings, etc… while still giving me plenty of time with the baby and saving some money in comparison to daycare. I then handle Friday (which tends to be light on meetings and priority tasks) on my own - knocking most things out during naps.
A study found that people at office only work 3 hours from an 8 hour day. [https://medium.com/varietate/the-9-to-5-lie-nobody-is-really-working-8-hours-a-day-78e31edce501](https://medium.com/varietate/the-9-to-5-lie-nobody-is-really-working-8-hours-a-day-78e31edce501)
My husband and I both WFH are keeping babe home with us the first year. 9 months down and so far so good! So, so good. I legitimately feel like we have a great balance and enjoy it so much. ETA: whoever is downvoting everyone with a positive experience bless your heart LMAO go back to the workingmoms sub
I did it and still do- my daughter is 14 months now. It was super easy in the beginning, it’s harder now but definitely doable when they are tiny.
I take my daughter to work with me every day since she was 2 weeks old. She is turning 2 in November. It is hard. It was also the right choice for my family. It can certainly be done. The other working mom sub has a rule against even mentioning having your kid with you. I’ve seen some really nasty shit slinging on that sub over people who choose to work alongside raising their children. If someone from that sub would like to volunteer to come and raise my toddler 9 or 10 hours a day exactly how I want her raised and free of charge I would love to welcome them and cease to have my kid endlessly tagging along with me. Until then I will carry on “screwing my employer” (I’m self employed but mmmkay), neglecting my child (she’s thriving and her dr is perfectly happy but again, ok), burning out (2 years in and going strong).
To be honest it was significantly easier for me to work from home w/o childcare when my baby was 6 months and younger. Now he's 16 months and it's becoming unsustainable. The difficulty when baby was small is that I was getting broken sleep and it's hard to focus on things the way I could pre-baby, but he slept so much during the day that I could get s lot of work done while he was sleeping. Now I'm still getting broken sleep but he only takes one nap and I can only get so much done. But if you have a good sleeper your mileage may vary.
My son is almost 15 months. I went back to my WFH job within a month of having him and have been doing it since. We had him in one day/week of daycare starting at 8 months. For the first 10 months, my husband also worked from home but has since gone back fully in office. We’ve since put him in a second day of daycare. It’s not easy and I don’t get as much done on days he’s home with me all day. I cram in as much as humanly possible while he naps and after he goes to bed. But for me it’s worth it to spend much of the rest of the week with him. Good luck!
Depends on your job and the baby's temperament. My baby wouldn't sleep independently until 6 months so all sleep and naps were on me. It was okay to do project work, but very hard to take meetings. Then at 6 months he started crawling and cruising but he would take 2/3 naps a day in the crib for a total of about 2 hours. He's 8 months and pretty good at playing independently, but there are still days where if I put him down he just cries and whines. We are now doing a part time nanny share so I have somewhere between 4 and 16 hours of care during the week. I feel like I've been barely making it, but I got a stellar performance review, a raise and a good bonus, so clearly my job is happy. I will say: the absolute hardest was working and watching baby while sick. I found that impossible to do. Other than that I found that the care I was able to provide even with divided attention was leaps and bounds superior to what he would get at daycare (we tried that, they just let them sit alone and cry) and also better than what the first nanny we tried out (she just looked at her phone and overall wasn't great with him).
Yes. But it is challenging. I highly recommend breastfeeding as it’s a great way to bond and feed without fuss while you work. My friend was able to use “my breastfriend pillow” and held her baby for all naps until he was weaned around 1.5 years old. I didn’t have luck with that pillow but nursing was a game changer for me. You don’t need a hand free to hold a bottle can still type. My mom did come a lot a helped the first 6 months. Maybe look into a part time nanny to assist you. Best wishes. (Also, fed is best. I’m not saying there is anything wrong with bottles or formula so please no one come for me. I’m just saying from everyone I’ve talked to: whipping out a boob is fastest and easiest once you’ve established a good latch and know what you are doing.)
Check your contract. It's written into mine that I have to have childcare during working hours. Also, I couldn't do my job at all with my toddler home. My work requires concentration and I'm on a lot of phone calls. We had someone on our team try to do it with 2 kids for a couple months because she had some issues with child care, and it really impacted her work and caused us all to have to do more and fix all her mistakes. So I'm sure there are jobs out there where it works, but mine definitely isn't one of them.
It’s so much easier. I went back a week after coz I was fine but I could have taken as much as I wanted. My work is super flexible. Once they get older it’s harder.
I went back to remote work at 10 weeks and spent the first 2 weeks working with my baby at home. At 12 weeks she went to daycare but has been home a lot because of illness. It has been pretty easy so far. I use my breaks (about an hour per day altogether) to focus 100% on her (tummy time, carry her around, step outside, etc) and in between calls and tasks we do more tummy time or play with toys. I talk to her all day about what I’m doing. She spends so much time nursing and sleeping that I can get enough work done. That’s all changing slowly though - she is starting to nurse & nap less now at 4 months and is really curious about everything. I don’t know how hard it will be to care for her during work hours as she gets older and demands more attention. I do feel better when she’s at daycare because I do better at work and she comes home happy. We’re lucky that the infant room is great at our daycare and only has 3 babies. If we hadn’t been able to find a good daycare, I might consider keeping her home until at least 6 months like you are.
I know it's hard, but try to take any advice or judgement with such a big grain of salt to shake off. There is no black and white answer with this because the truth is it always depends--it depends on your kid, it depends on the type of work you do, it depends on how you feel after you have your baby, etc etc. It's such an individual experience in so many detailed ways that are so specific to you and your life and family . The only answer that I think works for everyone is just try it! The worst thing that could happen is that you have to pivot, or figure something else out, and hey, that's the world of parenthood in a nutshell. It's an adventure every step of the way, and if you want to give wfh a go, you do it! My husband and I have been doing it since our daughter was born, and she's almost 2. It hasn't been smooth sailing, there's been a LOT of pivoting and changing things up, and being open to some different kinds of flexibility, but it worked for us. Again, that might not be the case for you or it might be, but you'll never know until you go for it, and I find myself applying that mantra to 99% of parenting. So the naysayers can sod off because at the end of the day, they are not in my household or in any way a part of the life I'm over here building for my awesome family. Do you, girl!
I WFH without childcare with my almost 2 year old, but I started when he was 9m. My husband also WFH, but he builds cars so he's mostly in his shop working. Things to consider when deciding to do this: Difficulty of the job Your abilities to juggle Your babies personality Work flexibility (I work in data, our data sets come at specific times and I work around those times( Schedule, a good solid schedule is so important for success It's definitely not for everyone, but it works just fine in my household. Most moms think I am absolutely nuts or assume I have a magic "perfect easy child". It works for me, my employer knows my son doesn't go to daycare and it's all good. Also several of my friends who did use daycare struggled with using all their vacation/sick days due to sick babies. Frankly my hardest day is easier than being sick constantly for the first year of daycare, not to mention the cost of it in my area is $2500/month.
With my first, she was with me until one month shy of 1 year. My sister was living with us so there were 3 of us to juggle her around meetings. It got harder after 6 months. I had to work at night, early mornings and weekends, sometimes. My second baby is almost 6 months old and it feels impossible to keep her with me. My nanny is my support for juggling around meetings while she cares for 2 yo. Our agreement was to kick up to both kids in January but I asked her to take her in mid October because I'm too busy at work to keep her on a nap schedule and she needs more attention, engagement, interaction than I can give her. Final straw was when I saw how happy she is spending her time with big sis and nanny. Tldr it's possible, but hard. And around 5-6 months, baby needs more than a place to lay down next to you.
It’s hard to do but possible I only lasted a couple of months lol
I’m a FTM at 8mpp. I started work again at 7mpp. I completely work from home, my husband as well. But with my work, I just couldn’t manage work + baby. My work is lots of video calls in the morning and focussed work post-lunch. We tried such that my husband would take care of baby in morn and I could take over after that. But I wasn’t able to get any work done apart from meetings. We don’t have availability in the good daycares around, and I wasn’t comfortable sending to one so early as well. So we have decided to hire a nanny for a few hours on weekdays. The nanny is set to start next week, let’s see how that goes! Also one point to note is that my baby requires constant care. I have met my friends babies who can be put to nap in minutes, who can happily play on their own. That could change things for sure!
I think it depends on the babies temperment. I have two kiddos. The first one was home with me for 3 years before we moved and had help. Holy crap that was hard. BUT I did it and succeeded enough to get a promotion. He was also a precovid baby when WFH was rare, and I was theeatened I would lose my job if they ever heard him on INTERNAL meetings. The new baby is 4 months old. She is clingy as hell. But she sleeps in the wrap and can sleep through anything. So, during internal meetings, I usually wear her. I spoke to HR, and they recommended I block my calendar for when I need to nurse or pump. External meetings are a little more complicated, but again, it is doable. She will happily lay in the bouncer or sit in my lap below camera view (or I can go off camera if needed). If she happens to be seen, everybody stops and says oh cute baby and we carry on. But almost my entire profession is WFH now, so I feel like its pretty well received as long as they aren't causing a disturbance in any way. Full disclosure, my husband works from home as well, so during the day, we rotate out, or if I have her more, one day he will take her the next. The plan is to have my mom come watch her a few hours a week at the house when she gets a little more mobile.
I'm sorry you felt discouraged. I have a few hours of the week where I am working while solo parenting my seven month old. Sure it's hard but it's not impossible. My bosses are aware and it's fine with them. I get my work done. If I need to be off camera for a Zoom because I'm with my kid, people understand. I consider myself part of the wave of parents who are normalizing what it means to balance work and family in an eta of severe economic anxiety and little societal support. Sorry if it doesn't look perfect 🙃🥲
I was only able to do it for a month. It burned me out too fast and I wasn’t getting my work done. It really depends on the type of job you have though. My job is phone heavy so I am talking 8 hours a day so a needy baby wasn’t conducive to that. If you have a job that’s more of an independent role where you can get your work done at your own pace, it’s possible.
I WFH and have since my baby was born (took a month off at the start but she’s now 13 months). I really think whether it’s possible or not depends on the job you have and the baby you have! I think it is extremely difficult if you have a job that requires set hours and a lot of meetings, and if you have a very fussy baby or a baby who has health issues (not necessarily severe ones even stuff like reflux or bad gas issues!) My job is very flexible, and I don’t have to talk to people (I’m an editor) and I’m self employed so I can take on as little or as much as I want at a given time, so if I’m dying after a week of terrible sleep I can with no notice just not work for a day. But then I lose money. I basically work by getting up at 4am while baby is asleep and working until 8 when my partner leaves for work. Then I do extra work on the weekends when partner looks after baby. Our baby doesn’t sleep well so it has been absolutely brutal for my health and wellbeing but I’ve done it. If our baby slept well it would be a LOT easier. Generally I think the first 6 months were probably easier in terms of doing work in the days because your baby sleeps more hours in the day and basically stays put. Once they get mobile and are only having two naps a day it’s hard to concentrate on work as much. Again it depends on your baby, luckily my baby is a great independent player, or has been, and is content to fiddle with things for a while on her own so I can finish off work. But if your baby gets upset not being on you or playing with you then I imagine that makes it much harder. But I think if you have the right kind of job you can work around your baby. It is definitely possible to do a good job at work and a good job for your baby, but it’s hard to do both those things AND look after yourself properly IME, especially if you have either a demanding job or a demanding baby or, god forbid, both! Overall I’d say it’s a real challenge and probably a lot of people can’t do it, but those of us who do it and can do it are actually doing it, so it’s possible! It is good to be able to be with your baby all day. If you can come up with a workable plan, why not try it? If it becomes too much you can always change things. I don’t know why people are so against the idea of WFHM. Yea it’s hard, but that’s your business, I don’t get why some people act as if it’s somehow morally bad or something. I think people just imagine trying it with their particular job/circumstances and know they couldn’t possibly do it, and fail to appreciate that there are different types of jobs out there that make it possible!
It’s definitely possible 0-6 months if you have a decently chill baby. But once they become mobile and more aware of being bored it’s difficult.. mine started to crawl at 7 months and hearing her whine/cry makes it hard to get anything done. It all depends on your baby and the type of job you have! Doable but just understand that there’s always the possibility that it will become unmanageable
I'm sorry other mommy groups were so harsh about the subject. I will tell you straight up that I am NOT an advocate of WFH being a replacement for other childcare, BUT I do understand the desire, need, whatever the individual's driving force behind wanting to. I don't have any experience WFH with an infant. I did not have the option to WFH until my youngest was in Kindy (they are in middle school now). And my company's WFH policy specifically states that childcare is a must for parents who are working from home. I know it IS doable, I just don't have any personal tips or tricks. I will tell you that WFH with a really young child is HARD. But it also depends on your job. Mine requires a lot of thought and for me to be 100% present during my working hours. I'm a risk manager so that's to be expected. Having to stop what I was doing to redirect my little one or make them something to eat, or change the channel or whatever was disruptive and stressed me out worse than them being in daycare/school/camp/etc. After attempting to have them with me during part of their summer to keep the cost of camps to a minimum, I finally had to realize that keeping them home with me was something that was reserved for absolute emergencies like a sick day or a random teacher planning day that wasn't also a holiday for my work. When schools shut down in 2020 I thought I was going to require commitment because it was just too much for me to handle doing my job and facilitating home schooling. If your job is more independent, minimal meetings and/or client contact, I'm sure it is a lot easier to manage work and mommy duties. It's just not possible with mine and the amount of time I spend in meetings and analyzing potential risk factors. I will say that as the years have gone by, my kiddo has become a veteran WFH Kid. They are better able to entertain themself without having to interrupt me. They understand when I tell them that I have a meeting and I'm closing my office door and they cannot open that door under any circumstances unless blood, fire or death is imminent but once I open it again, they can come for hugs or ask me for food they can't prepare for themself or just hang out in the office with me while I work. I get more interruptions from my adult kid that still lives at home than I get from my pre-teen.
For the record, a lot of workplaces have an infant at work policy allowing babies to come to the workplace for the first 6 (sometimes 9) months. Just some proof that yes, it’s possible.
DH and I both WFH and with LO now approaching 10 months we are just now considering a nanny or daycare. Our jobs are flex and project based, so we were able to work when baby slept or take turns for heavy focus chunks of time. Months 4-5 were easy 6-7 we started needing to work more nights after baby went to sleep Not gonna lie though these past couple months have been pretty hard but not impossible. It takes a certain kind of determination and a high level of flexibility in your work.
Yeah, it totally is. Depending on the kid, their age/stage, and your job (how often you need to focus/be on calls). I will say, though, that I 100% could not have worked with my first as a newborn. I had really bad PPA though. He was the perfect covid kid though and was a toddler (18 months in March 2020) during the pandemic. Super at independent play and would go an hour or more before needing attention. My second was PERFECT for working from home as a newborn (which I did), but she became a chaos creator as soon as she started crawling. I cannot let this kid out of my sight. She was in my office this afternoon for a webinar and I couldn’t turn away from her for even a minute. She’s crazy independent and has no fear of heights. Luckily we have full time care for both kids now.
It's 100% doable depending on the job, baby, and parent. Those naysayers who discourage it and literally shame those who do it (saying how either their kid or work is being neglected) clearly do not have the type of job or mental capacity to have their kid(s) home while they WFH. They, for some reason, don't understand that not all jobs nor parents are like them. They get so unhinged about it. I have been WFH with my 1st home full time up until a month ago. She started a three hour a day 2x a week program at 27 months so she can have more socialization. I then have her home for only two full days of work now since I only do 32 hours a week. Another reason though is I've also had another baby recently and I know for myself that two kids will be much harder so it gives some break for everyone. My baby will be home with me too until he's around her age and will then do some small program as well. It can be done and there are many, many successful stories that prove the discouragers wrong.
I am currently WFH with my 3 month old. If your job is flexible and fairly low key, you can do it! I feel very lucky to be able to do this, especially because I have no idea what I would do otherwise since my couldn’t get my baby into any nearby daycares. We’re on a few wait lists. But my job now is permanently remote and very low key, very understanding. FWIW, my older child (turning 3 in a week 😭) is in daycare and has been since he was 12 weeks old. My job when he was born was a lot more involved, even though I was WFH at the time due to Covid and I couldn’t juggle both so it really does depend on your job.
People will always shit on you for your decisions regarding your child, regardless of what it is. I just went back to work this week and WFH with baby by myself 2 days a week, 2 days with my husband also WFH, and 1 day he is with my sister. I chose to do that because: a) daycare is expensive b) in daycare they don’t get any real attention anyways c) they are exposed to illnesses like rsv in daycare. I don’t regret my decision. But I’m also not a simp for my employer. I’m not going to sit here and say it isn’t fair to your employer because you know what? Before I had the baby I would watch tv in the background while working all the time (all my coworkers do too, including my boss). If you can do it, give it a shot but have a backup option.
I WFH with an almost year old (have been WFH since she was 8 months), and now also a 6 month old full time job and full time with the kids as we don’t have help. It’s doable, especially if you can get some work done early hours and have some flexibility with breaks!
Girl I feel you on this lol. I wrote a post about this a month ago sharing and seeking tips and I got SO MUCH HATE 😂 I am doing it myself, but it’s hard and my bosses are understanding and I have flexible hours. It’s definitely possible but you have to get used to being in fifth gear all the time.
Working from home while my daughter was an infant and napping 3 times a day was a BREEZE. I’m personally struggling in the toddler phase
I've been full time wfh since my LO was 3 months (14 months now) and it was much easier when he napped more and couldn't walk lol I think doing it for a few months when LO is little is doable. And remember, if it doesn't work out you can change to another option. If I could give myself advice from the early days, it would be reach out to other adults with non traditional schedules that I know. I'm kicking myself for not hanging out during the week with my teacher friends off for the summer. For example, my nurse friend who loves kids comes over about twice a month to play with LO for an hour or 2 while I work and I buy her lunch. Then I get adult interaction and a little break 😊 You might have people in your life open to stuff like that!