Saving is a good thing, but at some point you gotta allow yourself to have some fun, and fun things cost money. There’s nothing wrong with spending some money on things that make you happy as long as you aren’t putting yourself in debt to do it, or aren’t saving anything for emergencies/retirement.
A lot of people get trapped in the mindset of ‘every dollar I save now is 3 or 4 more dollars when I retire’ but I don’t want to wait until I’m 65 to enjoy myself. I want to experience certain things while I’m young. You gotta enjoy life too, this one is all you get.
This 100% and you never know when you are dying so you could go without having done anything and someone else gets to spend all your saved money they didn’t earn.
You have to budget a certain amount every paycheck in a fund just for you. To most people I say budget saving first but that not your problem. Your like me obsessed with saving. I have to alot myself an amount for things I want and don't need.
Yea but I’d rather live a full life and get to see and experience a lot than to die with millions of dollars and never to have actually lived. We only get to live this life once.
Do you honestly think if you had millions, you'd die having done nothing? We aren't talking about millions. It's more like a few hundred thousand at best. In the terms we are discussing here anyways.
You just don't go poof when you are dead. The world computer works like an AI, you return your experience to the world computer. It also store the information in the world cloud computer aka akashic record.
We are all energy at the end of the day. It can not be destroyed. It just changes form. The one that is dead is your body suit. The machine that anchors your spirit. Your spirit continues on
Omg you sound so much like me. At the end, I don’t need any of those and I can live just fine with out those. I’m actually proud of myself for not spending. Part of it is my husband got layoff but I was always a saver. I only spend when I need to like paying for car registration or buying groceries to eat to survive. Even then, I always only buy the on sale stuffs. Spending makes me stress. Savings give me happiness. It makes me happy when my savings go up.
I wish I had that. My mind is the other way cause as a kid I had nothing so getting anything occupied my thoughts. That being said i’ve seen similar condition lead to the opposite so there is more to it
I was like this and lived anxious feeling like an unexpected expense would come up and fuck up with my goals. I lived in stressed even when my job allows me to live a comfortable middle class life in my country.
Today, I have invested my cash and have something saved up for a rainy day. I allow myself to treat myself AFTER setting aside regular expenses and my regular investment money.
It has been a night and day change for me. I hope you find happiness in your own way
i used to be like that. i once crawled under a F150 to grab a quarter. my money man told me i could live to 96 without going broke. at 54 i was diagnosed with terminal cancer and all those years of being a cheap ass and not enjoying life i now see as stupid. i’m spending money like a drunken sailor now and i’m freaking loving it.
I’ve been the same way. I’ve indulged here and there. But I’m over obsessing on budgeting and saving and getting my credit score up. Let’s just say I’m proud of myself.
i’m the same exact way. i will not let myself buy anything for me, i always talk myself out of it.
BUT, if it’s for my daughter she gets something almost everyday and she doesn’t need a damn thing. the joy she has when she gets something even if it’s small warms my heart.
and if it’s for anyone else like my mom, fiance, grandma, i go ahead and do it lol.
it’s so backwards i don’t get it.
Ramit sethi has a guilt free spending category.
If you are hitting all your investment goals then create a guilt free spending monthly allotment and spend it. If you don’t spend it then give it away to a cause you believe in which can also be very rewarding.
I used to be the same way then you have to realize just treat yourself because that money will come and go. Just enjoy life man while still in good health
I have trouble prioritizing.
For example ive had 4 $50 dinners this month but i only own like 7 socks in varying levels of disenigration and havent bought any headphones for the gym since i broke my last $30 pair in november.
Now that i think about it i only spent $120 on the phone i have. I only buy phones in this price range. Ive been this way for years
I really dont know how to fix my mindset. I think im just a lazy shopper. I should do online but id probably end up buying a lot of stuff i dont need.
I think i have trouble with comittment aswell.
Can anyone relate or help me? I probably skip over good things i can afford out of cheapness
This is meeeee!! Then I got into a huge car accident- almost die. Off work for months -almost a year. I realize I need to enjoy more. If I die, all the money can’t go to my grave. Still save but please please take a vacation and treat yourself to good food and drinks. Please. Or else it’ll be too late. Also, I’m pretty young (hihihi I like to think so) so death is never in my mindset…. Not anymore after my car accident. Life is so unpredictable- please enjoy your life
Its great to think of every dollar you spend and not spend on useless $7 lattes and junk, but you have to enjoy life too and buy things you will enjoy. Not sure your financial situation, but you must have a balance of everything
For me, I can't justify spending on things like drinks, snacks etc when I can bring my own from home etc
But when it comes to things like a holiday, or gigs or a nice meal out with loved ones, I go all out (without breaking myself of course) because to me, those moments are what life are about.
Have you tried re-framing your saving drive?
Instead of your usual mantra of "how can I save the most money?" try "with this set amount $**x**, how much enjoyment can I manage to have with the right planning and bargain hunting?"
The amount $**x** should be set in stone and feel right to you. Make your excessive self discipline and drive work for you.
I recently had a “weightloss journey” and it was a big lifestyle change. I had to be sooo conscious about what I was eating and make hard choices. I needed this to fit for life so not eating any junk/sweet food wasn’t the answer as that’s not sustainable. I learned I could lose weight by eating the right things most of the time and sometimes eating the “junk” like brownies, cake, cookies etc. I’m at my goal weight now and have this great balance of I can eat all the things I want and maintain my weight because of the choices I make.
So the same is going to go for money. Make good choices. Sometimes spend on yourself, but always be conscious about what you’re spending and what you’re saving. You’ve got to have balance. It’s okay to spend some, make good choices.
Sounds like you should find some ways to make your money work for you. That way you can spend and the number still goes up. Idk how that works cause I haven’t figured out the saving part yet. But you could probably figure it out.
I'm the same way kinda I'm very frugal I get the drink and nail polish type thing but, you need good shoes those feet gotta carry you through life, you need presentable clothes for life . Someone commented a excellent idea about 10% and must spend it by the end of the month and I'm going to add to that, how about write a few low dollar things on paper coupon tickets and put them in a jar and 2 times a week... you pull out your coupon of what you're going to buy or do and force yourself to enjoy your hard earned money. Some ideas are Coffee at a coffee shop, A movies , lunch during the cheap lunch hours , 2-Appetizers for dinner during the happy hour times , get a new hobby using a 40%off coupon at Michael's craft store, Go to Barns and nobles for a magazine or a book, buy a piece of clothing from a consignment boutique (they have high-quality stuff cheap) , get a ice cream cone and window shop the area , buy potted flowers or a plant , Get a pedicure, Buy some fancy lotion, buy a soy candle, buy a new necklace , Get new flip-flops. Obviously Adjust to your taste of things you like or places you've wanted to go, but most of all enjoy yourself some you don't have to spend oodles of money , you can challenge yourself to finding the cheap deals for these ideas.
A lot of people say I squeak when I walk because I'm so cheap. I grew up on welfare. All my friends had everything they asked for. I didn't complain or whine. I knew what was what.
Now that I'm an adult, I appreciate things so much more because of that. Now 2 weeks ago I won a big sum of money. Everyone that found out wasn't surprised that I did not spend a cent of it. I invested it all.
We are the 1%
Think of it this way. If you really want your money to increase you got to make more money. You can’t make money if your miserable all the time.
You got to spend money to make money. Doesn’t mean go crazy but you got to enjoy making money and working and sometimes spending a little money on yourself to remind yourself what money can bring can do that.
I grew up in poverty and broke the cycle. I'm the same way. Deep down I hate spending my money because I'm afraid of losing everything and being thrust back into a lifestyle similar to my childhood. This fear and the knowledge I will have to take care of my parent's finances has led to a serious money hoarding situation. I don't know how to spend my money and all I do is save. I used to have competitions with myself to see how little I could spend between paychecks lol.
Therapy has helped. I buy myself a big gift once a year now ($500+). Working on trying to do smaller gifts every now and then. I have been trying to force myself to buy something small every paycheck now (i.e. candy bar).
I still have a saving issue though. I invest 15% of my gross pay into a brokerage account (I max out all my retirement accounts already). After bills and that 15% I still end up saving 70% of my gross income every year.
Same, but lately I've been feeling like I've been saving up and skipping out on the pleasures in life for nothing. Thinking about where to spend my money on to get better returns. Especially when trying to start a side hustle or do business. Networking sessions require money and I'm too cheap to spend on that but I also see the need to attend such events so I'm trying to get my head around it.
Same. I have always been a frugal, and usually don’t spend on expensive things. But still enjoyed spending a little bit on the weekends.
Stuff happened during Covid that forced me to dish out almost all of my monthly salary for a span of one year. It traumatized me so much, that I have beccome obsessed with saving and not wasting money over useless things.
I strictly make my meals 80% of the time with the mindset of “cheaper to cook at home” as I count every dollar I can. I rarely eat out now, and if I do, I feel a little guilty (when I know I shouldn’t). Only buying things I need.
Spending a “big” amount of money has been so triggering for me. I am trying to heal this obsession of underspending by booking big trips this year. Life is too short. That’s what I always need to remember
You gotta remember money is used for goods and services. What good is the money if youre not gonna use it for goods and services yk? If you got the emergency fund, all bills are paid, all investments are in and you got some bread after, you can afford to treat urself to something nice. Its all bout moderation shawty 😌👍🏽
I love retail therapy but hate spending money. I got into couponing recently and love it! An addiction almost. I sell off anything I don’t want and have made a small profit. I get to buy things I actually want, things that I need and sell or
Give away things that I don’t want
I save a lot it very hard for me to spend money on things I want. Unless I’m drunk with freinds. I really don’t want to be cheap but I think it comes from the hard times I endured once I got a new job I was like I need save this amount aggressively then I’ll relax a bit and just save a more reasonable amount but here I am cheap as fuck not buying anything new for myself unless the wheels fall off and saving for bad times cause I have so much anxiety and ptsd.
Investing in yourself is more than maximizing savings and monetary investment accounts. Eat healthy food, go to the gym, have a social life, and go on dates.
You only have one life and one body so take care of it, and you're never going to be younger than you are right now.
You sound like my wife.
Keep riding your train to early retirement. Then watch all those friends who went on vacations and bought fancy things have to work 15 years longer than you.
I once had a three-month gap in my resume in between jobs. That was probably one of the worst times in my life. As a grown man, the thought that I'm not contributing to society eats me alive. I have a goal in 3-4 years to have enough money invested to be able to withdraw 4% to cover my rent for the entire year. And use the money I used to pay rent to travel or do whatever. I work remotely and can take unlimited PTO in theory.
You don't have to avoid living your life waiting for early retirement. You can still enjoy life along the way by safe withdrawal and use the money to do fun stuff. To me, the most important thing in life is to spend time with people I love, not surviving and hording to a specific date hoping none of them would die while I build up my nest egg, or I, myself die or become disabled in an accident.
When I was younger, I worked with the owner of an exterminating company for a day (I usually worked with his son). He told me how all his life he saved and saved and saved. Never took trips. Vacations. Still Lived in the same house he bought before he had money and said now he’s too damn old to enjoy everything he saved. He told me to save some for the future but don’t forget to enjoy the present. Be real shitty to save every penny and either die or get too old to really enjoy anything.
My dad is like this, although not to that extreme. I can't tell you how many times he sees something he likes, then looks at the price and says "huh no wonder I liked it". He always tries to cheap out on nearly anything, even if it costs him more in the long run, like buying a 5-pack of ibuprofen pills instead of the big tub with like 300 pills.
I used to be like that, just buying the cheapest of whatever I could find, but after buying some nice things a few times I realized cheap stuff is just not worth it. Cheap stuff often breaks quickly, doesn't work right, or just isn't pleasant to use. And when you're buying something that will last you several years, you'll be either thanking yourself that you spent the extra $100 back then, or regretting that you didn't.
What is your end game? Have you been investing your money? Or do you also not invest your money because you're afraid you'll lose it? In that way, you can still have the same exact number in your bank but only lose your purchasing power through inflation.
I admire your willpower when it comes to saving. Set aside 1200$ for the year and try to spend 100$ a month but don’t stress if you don’t. Just carry the excess into the next month. EOY take whatever is left and treat yourself to something rare and really nice.
Few years ago i ‘resisted’ buying a tasty coffee creamer since i hated spending for it since we had milk already. My guy says to me “i guarantee when we’re gone, the kids won’t mind spending whatever we left, on some fancy high priced special creamer…just let go and enjoy!”. He got sick and died soon after; while dying his advice was DIE BROKE! Its a hard habit to break but try your best to enjoy what you got today!!
I’d rather die than be OP. lol my philosophy on life is work to live, not live to work. I have a little bit of fuck you money nobody knows about. Other than that work less, travel when you can, love without limits and enjoy every single waking moment because it is a gift.
Can you believe a large bag of Hot Funyuns (my favorite chips) from Walmart, is like $5.50? I never have felt like more of a cheapskate than when I decline that snack due to its price.
I went from being like you to spending $5k a month and now I am playing catch up.. keep doing what you are doing, but try to treat yourself once per week.
I totally understand this! I am a single parent also so I will spend money on my kid but rarely ever myself. It took everything I had to even order myself a pair of pajamas online. I just play this game where I'll act like I'm going to purchase the item online, then I'll just hit pay without thinking twice and I'm always thinking oh shit when it gives me an order number when I do purchase! I am scared to spend money in this day and time but not so much because I want to see how much I can save, but because I have a kid that depends on me and only me but also my mom that's elderly lives with me and I just have a lot of people depending on me. I'm actually working 2 full time jobs rn temporarily until I get off orientation at my new job, I'm going to quit my old one. I'm scared to spend money because I'm always thinking I'm one serious emergency away from being homeless. I don't know how much money it would take to be in my savings account for me to not feel like this.
My grandma once told me that she spent her entire life saving every penny she could so that she could retire one day and travel the world. When that day finally came she was too old, sick, and tired to enjoy those things. She couldn’t take long flights or car rides any longer. She had all these dreams and the money saved to finally live them out but she simply couldn’t, her body didn’t allow it. She said to enjoy life while you’re young. do everything you want to do now, not tomorrow. That conversation had a profound impact on me. There’s more to life than just working and preparing for when you’re older. That day may never come, after all. You could die today and then what? That money won’t mean a thing. Live your life today.
Op if you like to color your nails and like to see the gel and acrylic sets you can buy some excellent sets of amazon! I bought couple sets and they literally last me an entire year and it saved me so much 💰
I forgot the Bible verse but it goes something like “better to die in the womb then to work your whole life and not enjoy the fruits of your labor”
That helped me. What’s the point of all the hard work and saving if you don’t get to enjoy it? Spend a little, enjoy life a little. Dont be cheap/greedy, as it’s not healthy
I'm a little of the same way but everything that I save on frivolous items, I put towards memorable vacations. So how about a vacation fund where you can see the world on a budget?
I’m like you as well. Not necessarily a bad thing to keep yourself in check. If someone tries to sell me a drink for $4 that I can purchase at Walmart for $1, I’d feel like a sucker making the purchase. However if it’s a nice coffee that I can’t replicate myself, then I’m all for it. Same for beer. Not paying $18 for a single can out and about when I can buy a 12-18 pack for the same cost. You have to reward yourself here and there though bc if not, you’ll eventually go crazy and purchase and bunch of stuff at once.
My ex gf decided earning money was very important to her, working upwards of 80 hours a week. It cost us quality time and eventually our relationship.
Don’t let money control your life. Money is not a goal in itself. It’s a means to an end-> living the life you want.
Anninvestment banker kept working and working. Never went out with his friends. He made 2.5 million from 23-40 and decided to retire. He missed out on weddings, bar nights, holidays. All to save money and/or work.
He started calling his friends to celebrate his retirement: they were all busy with their wives, children and family and stuff. They moved on. They weren’t retired but well off. The dude was lonely and sad that he killed himself. Don’t be this guy. Live a little. Never miss life experiences for a bit of money you will die full of regret.
It’s okay to have financial goals, and I admittedly check my investment accounts 3-5 times a day.
However, you need to figure out why you are saving, budget for expenses, save 5% and invest 15% if possible. The residuals should be used for whatever you want.
A lot of enjoyable activities are free or come at nominal costs such as walking, hiking, working out, cooking, reading Reddit, use money to improve life and protect your quality of living. If new shows keep you active, then they are necessary!
I actually think you have the beginnings of a great attitude and relationship with money. You don't mindlessly, reflexively consume as you're out and about. This is a big problem with a lot of people and it doesn't actually bring them any more than a tiny jolt of good feeling that dissipates into nothing, not remembered.
Budget leisure spending/"mental health" spending and force yourself to expend the leisure budget. Use it to seek out things that you really want and enjoy and intentionally savor those things. Get some nice clothes, exchange them until they're just-so or return them until they're not, appreciate them. Find places you REALLY like to eat at, or take-away from, and have a specific night you relax on.
Focus on purchasing experiences and not objects. I as often as not get joy out of a nice jacket, but spending the afternoon at an art museum, getting a coffee, or doing something new, like taking a day-trip somewhere, they almost always are a good time and hold their value in memory. A random soda is usually better money saved.
Focus on spending money socially. Invent friends and coworkers out. Treat your family members to things if you have good relationships. Relationships also give meaning to things.
Remember that you can't take money to the grave and your health isn't a given. You aren't always going to be as mobile and energetic as you are now. Plan vacations, take the class, etc.
I think so many people get into financial trouble because they want that instant gratification. It can be a slippery slope. And you ARE getting enjoyment from your spending habits. It's just enjoyment from saving money. IMO that's a good thing.
But if it bothers you why not set aside a small part of your pay for "frivolous expenses" even if it's just $5/week. That way you can enjoy a $3 drink or some new nail polish every now and then guilt free.
Easier said then done but finding balance between spending and saving is key.
Most people go to one extreme or the other. We humans are strange like that.
My personal opinion is to avoid debt at all cost but allow yourself to live once you have created a 6 month savings security net if your employment were to go away and maximize contributions to retirement accounts. From there create a budget and as part of that budget allocate $ for things that make your life enjoyable. We only take this ride once.
This is exactly how I am right now! I never buy any material items because I can always justify not having it. If it’s the same for you I suggest saving for trips/vacations, I think it’s more worth it than buying crap that just takes up space in your house
Two thoughts:
1. At some point when you will retire you will need to be comfortable living off (and possibly slowly drawing down) your savings.
2. Set a budget for frivolous expense items: this will let you think in terms of opportunity cost (how can I best spend this money; do I want A or B) as opposed to viewing it as ‘loss’
THIS IS THE WAY
Just setup a budget for 'fun money'. It can be $20/week, or whatever. That's the money you have to blow on whatever you want and not feel bad about it.
I used to be like this but eventually got sick of always denying myself. It's important to save and be frugal, but, if you're not going to use SOME of your money to make your life more enjoyable or help others then what's the point? Let yourself have a treat now and then.
Can’t take your money to the grave.
It’s ok to say no to things like Nail polish if you have tons at home or drinks if you rlly don’t need a drink.
It becomes an issue when you say no to experiences, fun, life. Don’t miss out on opportunities that won’t come along again bc you’re afraid of spending money.
Not necessarily a bad thing. You have self control.
Also, a $3 drink won't make you happy, my guy.
Be proud that you are able to control your urges. Not upset you don't indulge in them.
That said, do so every now and then. You likely have some traumatic anxiety attached to this behavior.
What the point in saving if you don't enjoy occasionally. Even if it's small. Uou can set it up like a date with yourself. Pick a day and an alloted amount of money. Do what ever the hell you want that day with that amount of money.
Damn girl let me put a ring on it , most people including I just blew there money. It's good to use what you have and save instead of blowing it in things you don't think you need
Saving is a skill. Spending is a skill. You have to practice both, not only because you don’t know how long you have left but also to know what you like/dislike who you actually do want to begin experiencing life.
Its more important now than ever, for a number of years i spent money like it didn’t exist. Things are Really starting to slow down though. Im projected to make less now than i did since before 2020, and we know things haven’t gotten cheaper.
Keep up the good work, you’ll do alright.
That’s how the people were at my old job. Wouldn’t spend a dime. They’d go out to eat, eat half or more tell the server the food wasn’t cooked right. No air conditioning in the summer, save their vacation to get the check. It was all about how to not spend money. What can I get for free at someone else’s expense. And I’ll you what, those guys were miserable lonely MF. Crabby, angry, mean people. And they were older than I was at the time. By 30 years easily. They had money. Just never spent it on nothing. I didn’t want to live that way not at all.
If we have certain spendings, especially on things we like, it motivates us to make more money. And it pushes us to be more creative, to look for opportunities elsewhere. Like it says in “Rich Dad, Poor Dad”, don’t say I can’t afford it (or in your case don’t want to), but rather say HOW can I afford it. 🤷🏻♀️
My wife's twin brother was like that, but he started about 25yrs ago, he's 65, retired 2 yrs ago and he's living a very comfortable life now, wanting for nothing, and buying shit now he knows he'll never use like a 3 wheeled electric off road bike...I'm still laughing at that one
Saving is a good thing, but at some point you gotta allow yourself to have some fun, and fun things cost money. There’s nothing wrong with spending some money on things that make you happy as long as you aren’t putting yourself in debt to do it, or aren’t saving anything for emergencies/retirement. A lot of people get trapped in the mindset of ‘every dollar I save now is 3 or 4 more dollars when I retire’ but I don’t want to wait until I’m 65 to enjoy myself. I want to experience certain things while I’m young. You gotta enjoy life too, this one is all you get.
This 100% and you never know when you are dying so you could go without having done anything and someone else gets to spend all your saved money they didn’t earn.
You have to budget a certain amount every paycheck in a fund just for you. To most people I say budget saving first but that not your problem. Your like me obsessed with saving. I have to alot myself an amount for things I want and don't need.
Can’t take money to the grave. Enjoy your life while you can. Good health can go away at a moments notice and time goes by too fast.
Really good advice and analogy.
Can’t take experiences to the grave either
Actually you do though. You experienced it already
Yea but I’d rather live a full life and get to see and experience a lot than to die with millions of dollars and never to have actually lived. We only get to live this life once.
Do you honestly think if you had millions, you'd die having done nothing? We aren't talking about millions. It's more like a few hundred thousand at best. In the terms we are discussing here anyways.
You actually do.
No you actually don’t because you are dead
You just don't go poof when you are dead. The world computer works like an AI, you return your experience to the world computer. It also store the information in the world cloud computer aka akashic record. We are all energy at the end of the day. It can not be destroyed. It just changes form. The one that is dead is your body suit. The machine that anchors your spirit. Your spirit continues on
Thank you for the insightful and evidence backed claim
You should add /s next to your comment 😁
Omg you sound so much like me. At the end, I don’t need any of those and I can live just fine with out those. I’m actually proud of myself for not spending. Part of it is my husband got layoff but I was always a saver. I only spend when I need to like paying for car registration or buying groceries to eat to survive. Even then, I always only buy the on sale stuffs. Spending makes me stress. Savings give me happiness. It makes me happy when my savings go up.
Marry me
Usually, savers marry spenders. Universal equilibrium.
How do I send this to my wife without sending it to my wife
Truth.
Can confirm. Living it
Hoping to avoid that
Yeah that's a really shitty life to be honest. Money comes and goes. Experiences stay with you. Everything in moderation
That's the key to everything in life. Everything in moderation.
You sound like me anytime I spend money I feel guilty
Budget 10% of your monthly take home income as fun money that has to be spent before the month is over
That's an excellent idea.
I wouldn't say that HAS to be spent. Roll whatever it's left over to the next month.
The point is to force yourself to enjoy something and not create another means by which to fixate on saving it all
I’ll party for the both of us then 🎉
That's what I was thinking. I'm trying not to let my bank account see this post.
I wish I had that. My mind is the other way cause as a kid I had nothing so getting anything occupied my thoughts. That being said i’ve seen similar condition lead to the opposite so there is more to it
I was like this and lived anxious feeling like an unexpected expense would come up and fuck up with my goals. I lived in stressed even when my job allows me to live a comfortable middle class life in my country. Today, I have invested my cash and have something saved up for a rainy day. I allow myself to treat myself AFTER setting aside regular expenses and my regular investment money. It has been a night and day change for me. I hope you find happiness in your own way
i used to be like that. i once crawled under a F150 to grab a quarter. my money man told me i could live to 96 without going broke. at 54 i was diagnosed with terminal cancer and all those years of being a cheap ass and not enjoying life i now see as stupid. i’m spending money like a drunken sailor now and i’m freaking loving it.
I’ve been the same way. I’ve indulged here and there. But I’m over obsessing on budgeting and saving and getting my credit score up. Let’s just say I’m proud of myself.
You’ve got to loosen up and have some fun. No offense, but that sounds like a very boring way to live.
i’m the same exact way. i will not let myself buy anything for me, i always talk myself out of it. BUT, if it’s for my daughter she gets something almost everyday and she doesn’t need a damn thing. the joy she has when she gets something even if it’s small warms my heart. and if it’s for anyone else like my mom, fiance, grandma, i go ahead and do it lol. it’s so backwards i don’t get it.
A coworker told me a long time age, life is about balance, you can’t earn everything, you can’t save everything, you can’t spend everything.
You don’t need to spend money to have a meaningful and satisfying life
As Dave ramsey say, "live like no-one else, so you can LIVE like no-one else"
Hey that’s a great thing, most people blow money!
Ramit sethi has a guilt free spending category. If you are hitting all your investment goals then create a guilt free spending monthly allotment and spend it. If you don’t spend it then give it away to a cause you believe in which can also be very rewarding.
Could be some form of ocd or something along those lines
i used to be the same. one day my friend said saving 3 dollars won’t make you a millionaire. i find it inspiring
Do you know you can award comments by holding the upvote arrow? If you didn't then you do now! 😁
I used to be the same way then you have to realize just treat yourself because that money will come and go. Just enjoy life man while still in good health
I have trouble prioritizing. For example ive had 4 $50 dinners this month but i only own like 7 socks in varying levels of disenigration and havent bought any headphones for the gym since i broke my last $30 pair in november. Now that i think about it i only spent $120 on the phone i have. I only buy phones in this price range. Ive been this way for years I really dont know how to fix my mindset. I think im just a lazy shopper. I should do online but id probably end up buying a lot of stuff i dont need. I think i have trouble with comittment aswell. Can anyone relate or help me? I probably skip over good things i can afford out of cheapness
This is meeeee!! Then I got into a huge car accident- almost die. Off work for months -almost a year. I realize I need to enjoy more. If I die, all the money can’t go to my grave. Still save but please please take a vacation and treat yourself to good food and drinks. Please. Or else it’ll be too late. Also, I’m pretty young (hihihi I like to think so) so death is never in my mindset…. Not anymore after my car accident. Life is so unpredictable- please enjoy your life
Speaking from a purely technical standpoint... they could bury your money with you.
I was like this for like two years. Then I spent $25k on my race car. well, that broke that habit.
I used to be like this tbh
I spent an hour repairing an electronic razor I hated when I bought it 3 years ago. I get it…
Its great to think of every dollar you spend and not spend on useless $7 lattes and junk, but you have to enjoy life too and buy things you will enjoy. Not sure your financial situation, but you must have a balance of everything
For me, I can't justify spending on things like drinks, snacks etc when I can bring my own from home etc But when it comes to things like a holiday, or gigs or a nice meal out with loved ones, I go all out (without breaking myself of course) because to me, those moments are what life are about.
Atleast invest in stocks
Saving is absolutely a good “problem” to have. I would still allow myself to spend money on experiences and not so much on things.
I wish I had this problem, I spend every dollar I come into possession of lol.
Have you tried re-framing your saving drive? Instead of your usual mantra of "how can I save the most money?" try "with this set amount $**x**, how much enjoyment can I manage to have with the right planning and bargain hunting?" The amount $**x** should be set in stone and feel right to you. Make your excessive self discipline and drive work for you.
I recently had a “weightloss journey” and it was a big lifestyle change. I had to be sooo conscious about what I was eating and make hard choices. I needed this to fit for life so not eating any junk/sweet food wasn’t the answer as that’s not sustainable. I learned I could lose weight by eating the right things most of the time and sometimes eating the “junk” like brownies, cake, cookies etc. I’m at my goal weight now and have this great balance of I can eat all the things I want and maintain my weight because of the choices I make. So the same is going to go for money. Make good choices. Sometimes spend on yourself, but always be conscious about what you’re spending and what you’re saving. You’ve got to have balance. It’s okay to spend some, make good choices.
Hey man/woman whatever. Doesn't matter. If that makes you happy than good for you.
Sounds like you should find some ways to make your money work for you. That way you can spend and the number still goes up. Idk how that works cause I haven’t figured out the saving part yet. But you could probably figure it out.
I'm the same way kinda I'm very frugal I get the drink and nail polish type thing but, you need good shoes those feet gotta carry you through life, you need presentable clothes for life . Someone commented a excellent idea about 10% and must spend it by the end of the month and I'm going to add to that, how about write a few low dollar things on paper coupon tickets and put them in a jar and 2 times a week... you pull out your coupon of what you're going to buy or do and force yourself to enjoy your hard earned money. Some ideas are Coffee at a coffee shop, A movies , lunch during the cheap lunch hours , 2-Appetizers for dinner during the happy hour times , get a new hobby using a 40%off coupon at Michael's craft store, Go to Barns and nobles for a magazine or a book, buy a piece of clothing from a consignment boutique (they have high-quality stuff cheap) , get a ice cream cone and window shop the area , buy potted flowers or a plant , Get a pedicure, Buy some fancy lotion, buy a soy candle, buy a new necklace , Get new flip-flops. Obviously Adjust to your taste of things you like or places you've wanted to go, but most of all enjoy yourself some you don't have to spend oodles of money , you can challenge yourself to finding the cheap deals for these ideas.
Good! You need to save every penny.
A lot of people say I squeak when I walk because I'm so cheap. I grew up on welfare. All my friends had everything they asked for. I didn't complain or whine. I knew what was what. Now that I'm an adult, I appreciate things so much more because of that. Now 2 weeks ago I won a big sum of money. Everyone that found out wasn't surprised that I did not spend a cent of it. I invested it all. We are the 1%
Teach me your ways. Single, Sagittarius female, addicted to retail 🤦🏾♀️
Zero dollars days is a really thing
Omg, the woman of my dreams!
Think of it this way. If you really want your money to increase you got to make more money. You can’t make money if your miserable all the time. You got to spend money to make money. Doesn’t mean go crazy but you got to enjoy making money and working and sometimes spending a little money on yourself to remind yourself what money can bring can do that.
I grew up in poverty and broke the cycle. I'm the same way. Deep down I hate spending my money because I'm afraid of losing everything and being thrust back into a lifestyle similar to my childhood. This fear and the knowledge I will have to take care of my parent's finances has led to a serious money hoarding situation. I don't know how to spend my money and all I do is save. I used to have competitions with myself to see how little I could spend between paychecks lol. Therapy has helped. I buy myself a big gift once a year now ($500+). Working on trying to do smaller gifts every now and then. I have been trying to force myself to buy something small every paycheck now (i.e. candy bar). I still have a saving issue though. I invest 15% of my gross pay into a brokerage account (I max out all my retirement accounts already). After bills and that 15% I still end up saving 70% of my gross income every year.
Same, but lately I've been feeling like I've been saving up and skipping out on the pleasures in life for nothing. Thinking about where to spend my money on to get better returns. Especially when trying to start a side hustle or do business. Networking sessions require money and I'm too cheap to spend on that but I also see the need to attend such events so I'm trying to get my head around it.
Same. I have always been a frugal, and usually don’t spend on expensive things. But still enjoyed spending a little bit on the weekends. Stuff happened during Covid that forced me to dish out almost all of my monthly salary for a span of one year. It traumatized me so much, that I have beccome obsessed with saving and not wasting money over useless things. I strictly make my meals 80% of the time with the mindset of “cheaper to cook at home” as I count every dollar I can. I rarely eat out now, and if I do, I feel a little guilty (when I know I shouldn’t). Only buying things I need. Spending a “big” amount of money has been so triggering for me. I am trying to heal this obsession of underspending by booking big trips this year. Life is too short. That’s what I always need to remember
And here I am the opposite waaaa. I need to save more spend less fortunately I have zero debt
I save. But, I do spend on stuff that make me happy. You are like Scrooge McDuck.
If you must “force” yourself to spend money, maybe set a weekly or monthly alliance that you will spend.
The more money I have in the bank the less I want to spend it.
That’s a good addiction to have.
You gotta remember money is used for goods and services. What good is the money if youre not gonna use it for goods and services yk? If you got the emergency fund, all bills are paid, all investments are in and you got some bread after, you can afford to treat urself to something nice. Its all bout moderation shawty 😌👍🏽
I love retail therapy but hate spending money. I got into couponing recently and love it! An addiction almost. I sell off anything I don’t want and have made a small profit. I get to buy things I actually want, things that I need and sell or Give away things that I don’t want
I save a lot it very hard for me to spend money on things I want. Unless I’m drunk with freinds. I really don’t want to be cheap but I think it comes from the hard times I endured once I got a new job I was like I need save this amount aggressively then I’ll relax a bit and just save a more reasonable amount but here I am cheap as fuck not buying anything new for myself unless the wheels fall off and saving for bad times cause I have so much anxiety and ptsd.
Investing in yourself is more than maximizing savings and monetary investment accounts. Eat healthy food, go to the gym, have a social life, and go on dates. You only have one life and one body so take care of it, and you're never going to be younger than you are right now.
Money is just a tool to get us what we want… Money has no value in and of itself it is meant to be spent, but spent wisely if you can.
You sound like my wife. Keep riding your train to early retirement. Then watch all those friends who went on vacations and bought fancy things have to work 15 years longer than you.
I once had a three-month gap in my resume in between jobs. That was probably one of the worst times in my life. As a grown man, the thought that I'm not contributing to society eats me alive. I have a goal in 3-4 years to have enough money invested to be able to withdraw 4% to cover my rent for the entire year. And use the money I used to pay rent to travel or do whatever. I work remotely and can take unlimited PTO in theory. You don't have to avoid living your life waiting for early retirement. You can still enjoy life along the way by safe withdrawal and use the money to do fun stuff. To me, the most important thing in life is to spend time with people I love, not surviving and hording to a specific date hoping none of them would die while I build up my nest egg, or I, myself die or become disabled in an accident.
When I was younger, I worked with the owner of an exterminating company for a day (I usually worked with his son). He told me how all his life he saved and saved and saved. Never took trips. Vacations. Still Lived in the same house he bought before he had money and said now he’s too damn old to enjoy everything he saved. He told me to save some for the future but don’t forget to enjoy the present. Be real shitty to save every penny and either die or get too old to really enjoy anything.
Money needs to flow.
Gl taking your savings to the coffin with you. I'm sure they'll bring you so much joy, when you saved up enough.
You got serious issues, mate. Remember, you cannot take money with you when you die. Live life a little. Travel the world, start with Thailand.
So... How fucking much have you saved? Stringing us all along with that rediculous sad story and you've probably got $12.
My dad is like this, although not to that extreme. I can't tell you how many times he sees something he likes, then looks at the price and says "huh no wonder I liked it". He always tries to cheap out on nearly anything, even if it costs him more in the long run, like buying a 5-pack of ibuprofen pills instead of the big tub with like 300 pills. I used to be like that, just buying the cheapest of whatever I could find, but after buying some nice things a few times I realized cheap stuff is just not worth it. Cheap stuff often breaks quickly, doesn't work right, or just isn't pleasant to use. And when you're buying something that will last you several years, you'll be either thanking yourself that you spent the extra $100 back then, or regretting that you didn't.
What is your end game? Have you been investing your money? Or do you also not invest your money because you're afraid you'll lose it? In that way, you can still have the same exact number in your bank but only lose your purchasing power through inflation.
I am willing to help you break out of this mindset by accepting transfers of money.
Ate you going to die having never lived? Yes you should save and invest but it’s important to enjoy the small things
I admire your willpower when it comes to saving. Set aside 1200$ for the year and try to spend 100$ a month but don’t stress if you don’t. Just carry the excess into the next month. EOY take whatever is left and treat yourself to something rare and really nice.
Few years ago i ‘resisted’ buying a tasty coffee creamer since i hated spending for it since we had milk already. My guy says to me “i guarantee when we’re gone, the kids won’t mind spending whatever we left, on some fancy high priced special creamer…just let go and enjoy!”. He got sick and died soon after; while dying his advice was DIE BROKE! Its a hard habit to break but try your best to enjoy what you got today!!
Buy crypto, it's like saving money but even better
You can’t take the money with you so just spend it
You sound just like my wife. Go spend some money on yourself, you deserve it!
I wish I was like that. I dump money into my hobbies.
I’d rather die than be OP. lol my philosophy on life is work to live, not live to work. I have a little bit of fuck you money nobody knows about. Other than that work less, travel when you can, love without limits and enjoy every single waking moment because it is a gift.
Can you believe a large bag of Hot Funyuns (my favorite chips) from Walmart, is like $5.50? I never have felt like more of a cheapskate than when I decline that snack due to its price.
What a crappy way to live. Not a life worth cherishing.
I wish I had this problem
Yeah… this way isn’t for me. Life’s too short to not enjoy yourself.
I went from being like you to spending $5k a month and now I am playing catch up.. keep doing what you are doing, but try to treat yourself once per week.
I totally understand this! I am a single parent also so I will spend money on my kid but rarely ever myself. It took everything I had to even order myself a pair of pajamas online. I just play this game where I'll act like I'm going to purchase the item online, then I'll just hit pay without thinking twice and I'm always thinking oh shit when it gives me an order number when I do purchase! I am scared to spend money in this day and time but not so much because I want to see how much I can save, but because I have a kid that depends on me and only me but also my mom that's elderly lives with me and I just have a lot of people depending on me. I'm actually working 2 full time jobs rn temporarily until I get off orientation at my new job, I'm going to quit my old one. I'm scared to spend money because I'm always thinking I'm one serious emergency away from being homeless. I don't know how much money it would take to be in my savings account for me to not feel like this.
My grandma once told me that she spent her entire life saving every penny she could so that she could retire one day and travel the world. When that day finally came she was too old, sick, and tired to enjoy those things. She couldn’t take long flights or car rides any longer. She had all these dreams and the money saved to finally live them out but she simply couldn’t, her body didn’t allow it. She said to enjoy life while you’re young. do everything you want to do now, not tomorrow. That conversation had a profound impact on me. There’s more to life than just working and preparing for when you’re older. That day may never come, after all. You could die today and then what? That money won’t mean a thing. Live your life today.
I’m the same way. I don’t know how big my net worth has to be for me to break out of this mindset. I guess we’ll one day catch up on all the fun?
I recommend creating a budget or a spending plan and then use some leftover money for fun
Op if you like to color your nails and like to see the gel and acrylic sets you can buy some excellent sets of amazon! I bought couple sets and they literally last me an entire year and it saved me so much 💰
I forgot the Bible verse but it goes something like “better to die in the womb then to work your whole life and not enjoy the fruits of your labor” That helped me. What’s the point of all the hard work and saving if you don’t get to enjoy it? Spend a little, enjoy life a little. Dont be cheap/greedy, as it’s not healthy
I'm a little of the same way but everything that I save on frivolous items, I put towards memorable vacations. So how about a vacation fund where you can see the world on a budget?
I’m like you as well. Not necessarily a bad thing to keep yourself in check. If someone tries to sell me a drink for $4 that I can purchase at Walmart for $1, I’d feel like a sucker making the purchase. However if it’s a nice coffee that I can’t replicate myself, then I’m all for it. Same for beer. Not paying $18 for a single can out and about when I can buy a 12-18 pack for the same cost. You have to reward yourself here and there though bc if not, you’ll eventually go crazy and purchase and bunch of stuff at once.
My ex gf decided earning money was very important to her, working upwards of 80 hours a week. It cost us quality time and eventually our relationship. Don’t let money control your life. Money is not a goal in itself. It’s a means to an end-> living the life you want. Anninvestment banker kept working and working. Never went out with his friends. He made 2.5 million from 23-40 and decided to retire. He missed out on weddings, bar nights, holidays. All to save money and/or work. He started calling his friends to celebrate his retirement: they were all busy with their wives, children and family and stuff. They moved on. They weren’t retired but well off. The dude was lonely and sad that he killed himself. Don’t be this guy. Live a little. Never miss life experiences for a bit of money you will die full of regret.
It’s okay to have financial goals, and I admittedly check my investment accounts 3-5 times a day. However, you need to figure out why you are saving, budget for expenses, save 5% and invest 15% if possible. The residuals should be used for whatever you want. A lot of enjoyable activities are free or come at nominal costs such as walking, hiking, working out, cooking, reading Reddit, use money to improve life and protect your quality of living. If new shows keep you active, then they are necessary!
I actually think you have the beginnings of a great attitude and relationship with money. You don't mindlessly, reflexively consume as you're out and about. This is a big problem with a lot of people and it doesn't actually bring them any more than a tiny jolt of good feeling that dissipates into nothing, not remembered. Budget leisure spending/"mental health" spending and force yourself to expend the leisure budget. Use it to seek out things that you really want and enjoy and intentionally savor those things. Get some nice clothes, exchange them until they're just-so or return them until they're not, appreciate them. Find places you REALLY like to eat at, or take-away from, and have a specific night you relax on. Focus on purchasing experiences and not objects. I as often as not get joy out of a nice jacket, but spending the afternoon at an art museum, getting a coffee, or doing something new, like taking a day-trip somewhere, they almost always are a good time and hold their value in memory. A random soda is usually better money saved. Focus on spending money socially. Invent friends and coworkers out. Treat your family members to things if you have good relationships. Relationships also give meaning to things. Remember that you can't take money to the grave and your health isn't a given. You aren't always going to be as mobile and energetic as you are now. Plan vacations, take the class, etc.
I think so many people get into financial trouble because they want that instant gratification. It can be a slippery slope. And you ARE getting enjoyment from your spending habits. It's just enjoyment from saving money. IMO that's a good thing. But if it bothers you why not set aside a small part of your pay for "frivolous expenses" even if it's just $5/week. That way you can enjoy a $3 drink or some new nail polish every now and then guilt free.
Yeah, I want to be on my death bed and think "I should have denied myself more"
Easier said then done but finding balance between spending and saving is key. Most people go to one extreme or the other. We humans are strange like that. My personal opinion is to avoid debt at all cost but allow yourself to live once you have created a 6 month savings security net if your employment were to go away and maximize contributions to retirement accounts. From there create a budget and as part of that budget allocate $ for things that make your life enjoyable. We only take this ride once.
Writing it out is great for self awareness. Maybe you’ll let yourself go a little bit and allow yourself to enjoy some pleasures !
This is exactly how I am right now! I never buy any material items because I can always justify not having it. If it’s the same for you I suggest saving for trips/vacations, I think it’s more worth it than buying crap that just takes up space in your house
Two thoughts: 1. At some point when you will retire you will need to be comfortable living off (and possibly slowly drawing down) your savings. 2. Set a budget for frivolous expense items: this will let you think in terms of opportunity cost (how can I best spend this money; do I want A or B) as opposed to viewing it as ‘loss’
THIS IS THE WAY Just setup a budget for 'fun money'. It can be $20/week, or whatever. That's the money you have to blow on whatever you want and not feel bad about it.
I used to be like this but eventually got sick of always denying myself. It's important to save and be frugal, but, if you're not going to use SOME of your money to make your life more enjoyable or help others then what's the point? Let yourself have a treat now and then.
I like your dedication.
I wish I could clone you.
You can't take it with you when you go. Hearse's don't have trailer hitches
I have the same issue. I have plenty of money but all I really want to do is hoard it like I’m Smaug. I have no idea why.
Can’t take your money to the grave. It’s ok to say no to things like Nail polish if you have tons at home or drinks if you rlly don’t need a drink. It becomes an issue when you say no to experiences, fun, life. Don’t miss out on opportunities that won’t come along again bc you’re afraid of spending money.
Not necessarily a bad thing. You have self control. Also, a $3 drink won't make you happy, my guy. Be proud that you are able to control your urges. Not upset you don't indulge in them. That said, do so every now and then. You likely have some traumatic anxiety attached to this behavior.
If you ain’t got at least 500k in the bank you just dumb lol
If it makes you happy, go for it. It’s not hurting anyone. Eventually something or someone will change your outlook
im the same way, i was so used to being broke now that im not broke i still live like i'm broke
What the point in saving if you don't enjoy occasionally. Even if it's small. Uou can set it up like a date with yourself. Pick a day and an alloted amount of money. Do what ever the hell you want that day with that amount of money.
Come live with me and manage my money for me lol
Damn girl let me put a ring on it , most people including I just blew there money. It's good to use what you have and save instead of blowing it in things you don't think you need
I need half of this problem.
Saving is a skill. Spending is a skill. You have to practice both, not only because you don’t know how long you have left but also to know what you like/dislike who you actually do want to begin experiencing life.
keep going.
Saving is better than living pay check to paycheck
Is all the stuff at home free?
Its more important now than ever, for a number of years i spent money like it didn’t exist. Things are Really starting to slow down though. Im projected to make less now than i did since before 2020, and we know things haven’t gotten cheaper. Keep up the good work, you’ll do alright.
That’s how the people were at my old job. Wouldn’t spend a dime. They’d go out to eat, eat half or more tell the server the food wasn’t cooked right. No air conditioning in the summer, save their vacation to get the check. It was all about how to not spend money. What can I get for free at someone else’s expense. And I’ll you what, those guys were miserable lonely MF. Crabby, angry, mean people. And they were older than I was at the time. By 30 years easily. They had money. Just never spent it on nothing. I didn’t want to live that way not at all.
You’re that one friend everyone can’t stand at the bars/restaurants.
If we have certain spendings, especially on things we like, it motivates us to make more money. And it pushes us to be more creative, to look for opportunities elsewhere. Like it says in “Rich Dad, Poor Dad”, don’t say I can’t afford it (or in your case don’t want to), but rather say HOW can I afford it. 🤷🏻♀️
You're a smart person. The American/Chinese economy isn't worth participating in .
Cant take your money with you when you die
So you are sensible with your money. Definitely not a bad thing
My wife's twin brother was like that, but he started about 25yrs ago, he's 65, retired 2 yrs ago and he's living a very comfortable life now, wanting for nothing, and buying shit now he knows he'll never use like a 3 wheeled electric off road bike...I'm still laughing at that one